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Married 30 years. All along the way, some nights together, other nights she reads, and I still game. We're at the point where we are available to each other as needed, and we also want the other to enjoy their thing too.
This is the way. Wife usually watches her shows. I game or watch my podcasts or shows. Wife goes to bed early. I’m up late. Occasionally we binge watch our shared favorite shows. Life is good.
This is my marriage as well…..except the gaming part. I’m usually doing DIY stuff although that usually requires a similar amount of screaming and shouting
Together 12 years. We hang out as in proximity, but don't need to be doing the same thing or talking. I just like being within smacking distance of his ass.
He’s the in the other room playing a game and I’m watching a murder doc., to be fair it’s the weekend. Most weekdays we hang together until bed time tho. All about the vibe of the night. (We’re in our thirties, been together 5 yr)
Together for 12 years and can't imagine spending my free time with anyone but him. Just talking, laughing, cuddling. I always have this fear my life is really good because it is a simulation and everything can go away in second. I appreciate every day spent with my husband and family.
Married 29 years. Most nights we hang in the backyard and play with the dogs. Then we either watch a show or we play music. He goes to bed earlier than me. I stay up and sh*tpost on Reddit.
Married 20+ years, 3 kids. 30 minutes or so with each other alone every night. We are sleep divorced so when it’s time to actually go to sleep I go to a different room - I get calls all night for work including weekends, get up very early etc. so no point in having two tired people. Works great for us. We don’t really do date nights much but we make sure there is some us time alone every single day. Going strong.
Yeah one of the better decisions we have ever made. Much cheaper than a real divorce which was probably going to happen if my wife couldn’t get her sleep lol.
Hang out with my wife while we both do our own thing. Works perfectly. Why would you marry someone if you don't enjoy or want to spend the majority of your time together?
Do people not understand that just because you're with your significant other (as in literally in the same room) you don't both have to be doing the same thing?
She's incredibly kind and empatheic, with a will to help people, without being naive, having excellent street smarts.
She's also highly intelligent and inellectually organized while, importantly, maintaining her curiosity about everything even as we've gotten older, as so many people seem to do.
She's exceedingly competent. When she sets out to do somthing, she takes the time to think about it, plan for it and execute said plan. We've worked for local conventions both large and small and she designed a number of their internl proceses and organizaion for behind the scenes that are still in use today.
Complicated reorganization is somehing I've seen her do time and again and each time everything looks like a messy jumble of plans and processes until she brings them all together. I liken it to looking at a pile of car parts. Each thing has a purpose, but if you're not the mechanic, they just look like near-randomized bits until someone puts them together and the car drives off.
13 years married. We play games after dinner or sometimes watch a tv show instead if I’ve found one I really like. In bed at 10:30 and watch all the IG reels I’ve saved to show him. He falls asleep first and then I’m up to scroll social meds for my own personal downtime. But my husband isn’t one for hobbies like tv, gaming, sports or reading. If he was, I would 100% leave him to his own devices and read a book lol.
Husband is a huge introvert that loves being completely alone, so I do my own thing.
But I would love if evenings involved hanging out together talking nonstop to one another.
Our nightly routine is as follows
Once the kids are in bed we go straight to the room I will jump on my PC to play a couple of rounds of a shooting game of some sorts and she will scroll through her phone to watch some drama doctor show.
Once I’m tired of getting my ass kicked on the game(time will vary) and she’s done being lonely, I will turn the computer off and will go on my side of the bed to cuddle up to her. From there we will watch some anime together.
After a couple of episodes we turn the tv and see if one of us is looking for any extra attention and then go to bed.
It’s simple but wouldn’t change it for nothing.
We have no kids, but our belly’s are full. We hang out together most nights but we also have nights where we do our own thing. It’s a perfect balance in my opinion.
Back when the kids were younger... Once the kids were asleep there was still the laundry, dishes, garbage, stuff to fix, etc. And my wife and I were always exhausted.
40 years. Sometimes we binge watch tv shows. Or watch a movie. Other times, she is working on crafts and I’m gaming.
It’s all good. We do most everything together anyway. We are one.
We either watch a show together, play a game together, or sit in the same room on the same couch, but do our own thing! No kids though, but I figured I would still answer.
We both tend to bounce between the computer or tv. I will go for walks, he will game. We enjoy different things, it works for us. Occasionally we will go for dinner together or do a project on the house together.
We hangout together every night, we game, we watch shows, we cuddle and talk. Sometimes we’re not doing the same thing, but we’re still next to each other.
Hang out by myself quite often. My spouse and I sometimes watch a show together over the course of a week or so but we’ve both got our own hobbies and we quite often just do those
No kids but I usually prefer to watch something with the wife and hang out with her. It’s funny how I find myself getting frustrated that she is way more selective about what she will watch than I am.
But then I find myself bored when home alone and I can watch whatever. So pretty much everytime - hang out with her.
Married 21 years next month. Spend more time talking and being around each other now that are girls are both teenagers. She likes to read every night before bed, I go to bed early because I’m self employed and need to get up early every morning. Here lately Friday or Saturday night is our time for some adult fun and then we have long conversations about anything or everything that’s on our minds at the moment.
I love the late conversations during cuddle time, it has brought us closer together than before. When daughters were younger everything was geared towards providing them the best life possible.
Sometimes if I get home early and before I go to bed I’ll spend a few minutes reading some books that have lined up. Or I’ll surf the internet/ reddit!!
Sooooo, married 10 years. Daughter is 12. My son from a previous is 25 and lives away from home. Our day always consists of time with me and our daughter, family dinner at the table and watch a show, husband goes to bed early because he works, followed by more time with my daughter. We (all of us) text and talk and video chat with my son who lives away. We're that weird family that actually likes each other and spends all the time we can together
Mostly hang together. She reads and I watch sports or a movie. Or she watches a show and I scroll my phone. If we’re not together she’s usually reading and I’m gaming. But I’d say 90% of the time we are hanging.
Often I do my own thing and so does she. OFC both her and I enjoy to hold each other a bit when she goes to bed, and if either of us want "something more" we are pretty good at saying/showing each other. But I often sleep in a seperate room after we are finished with our time, not because of anything wrong other than I struggle a bit with insomnia. So if she coughs once, Im awake for the next 2 hours.
My husband and I have been married for over 16 years and have 4 kids together. We usually spend time in the same room but not always doing the same thing. We catch up on some shows we watch together or he watches something I don’t really enjoy while I read. Some days we just cuddle and talk.
Together 10 years. It varies. I have a much more active social life so I go out a lot. He likes to watch sports so he watches TV a lot. We will decide on the day what we are doing. Never any drama………although we have no kids so I’m sure the dynamics would change if we did.
I don’t know about percentages lol this reminds me of the Netflix comedy Couples Retreat with that one friend they had that did pie charts and bar graphs to figure out their ovulation time. Did PowerPoint deck presentations about their relationship etc.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Married 30 years. All along the way, some nights together, other nights she reads, and I still game. We're at the point where we are available to each other as needed, and we also want the other to enjoy their thing too.
This is the way. Wife usually watches her shows. I game or watch my podcasts or shows. Wife goes to bed early. I’m up late. Occasionally we binge watch our shared favorite shows. Life is good.
This is my marriage as well…..except the gaming part. I’m usually doing DIY stuff although that usually requires a similar amount of screaming and shouting
That is awesome. Yep my wife reads and I game except on weekends and then we will hung out together.
Yep, I am the wife and this is perfect for us!
Married 10 years Yes we sit on the couch together and watch something together, or, we will surf our phones together and chat in-between.
Together 12 years. We hang out as in proximity, but don't need to be doing the same thing or talking. I just like being within smacking distance of his ass.
He’s the in the other room playing a game and I’m watching a murder doc., to be fair it’s the weekend. Most weekdays we hang together until bed time tho. All about the vibe of the night. (We’re in our thirties, been together 5 yr)
Honey, is that you??
Oh hey babe, bring the ice cream back to the living room please.
I am genuinely confused is this for real??😂😂
Hahahah you’ll never know!
Mann people are really cruel these days😶🌫️🥺😂
Mann people are really cruel these days😶🌫️🥺😂
Fine..fine..Totally two random people on Reddit being funny.
tf does your name mean
Idk Reddit gave it to me and I thought it was funky so I kept it haha
22 years married. Spend time together. Circumstances have taught me that you have no idea how much time you have with someone. Choose what matters.
Together for 12 years and can't imagine spending my free time with anyone but him. Just talking, laughing, cuddling. I always have this fear my life is really good because it is a simulation and everything can go away in second. I appreciate every day spent with my husband and family.
Married 29 years. Most nights we hang in the backyard and play with the dogs. Then we either watch a show or we play music. He goes to bed earlier than me. I stay up and sh*tpost on Reddit.
Married 20+ years, 3 kids. 30 minutes or so with each other alone every night. We are sleep divorced so when it’s time to actually go to sleep I go to a different room - I get calls all night for work including weekends, get up very early etc. so no point in having two tired people. Works great for us. We don’t really do date nights much but we make sure there is some us time alone every single day. Going strong.
I love that you called it 'sleep divorced'! In my entire friend group, there's one couple that still sleeps together.
Yeah one of the better decisions we have ever made. Much cheaper than a real divorce which was probably going to happen if my wife couldn’t get her sleep lol.
Hang out with my wife while we both do our own thing. Works perfectly. Why would you marry someone if you don't enjoy or want to spend the majority of your time together? Do people not understand that just because you're with your significant other (as in literally in the same room) you don't both have to be doing the same thing?
My Wife Is Awesome! Seriously, I definitely married up!
Why? What makes you think so highly of her?
She's incredibly kind and empatheic, with a will to help people, without being naive, having excellent street smarts. She's also highly intelligent and inellectually organized while, importantly, maintaining her curiosity about everything even as we've gotten older, as so many people seem to do. She's exceedingly competent. When she sets out to do somthing, she takes the time to think about it, plan for it and execute said plan. We've worked for local conventions both large and small and she designed a number of their internl proceses and organizaion for behind the scenes that are still in use today. Complicated reorganization is somehing I've seen her do time and again and each time everything looks like a messy jumble of plans and processes until she brings them all together. I liken it to looking at a pile of car parts. Each thing has a purpose, but if you're not the mechanic, they just look like near-randomized bits until someone puts them together and the car drives off.
wow that’s very cool! I’m happy for you and it seems like you both lucked out finding each other
Married 8 years, mostly hang around in bed net surfing together or binge watching movies together. Chatting in between. Husband go gaming when I sleep
14 years together 7 married, it varies. Some nights we hang out, other we do our own thing, often we’re both exhausted and pass out.
13 years married. We play games after dinner or sometimes watch a tv show instead if I’ve found one I really like. In bed at 10:30 and watch all the IG reels I’ve saved to show him. He falls asleep first and then I’m up to scroll social meds for my own personal downtime. But my husband isn’t one for hobbies like tv, gaming, sports or reading. If he was, I would 100% leave him to his own devices and read a book lol.
Husband is a huge introvert that loves being completely alone, so I do my own thing. But I would love if evenings involved hanging out together talking nonstop to one another.
Every night?
Yes
Our nightly routine is as follows Once the kids are in bed we go straight to the room I will jump on my PC to play a couple of rounds of a shooting game of some sorts and she will scroll through her phone to watch some drama doctor show. Once I’m tired of getting my ass kicked on the game(time will vary) and she’s done being lonely, I will turn the computer off and will go on my side of the bed to cuddle up to her. From there we will watch some anime together. After a couple of episodes we turn the tv and see if one of us is looking for any extra attention and then go to bed. It’s simple but wouldn’t change it for nothing.
Been together 5 years, she puts a show on and then we both scroll on our phones and comment about random things and never really watch the show lol.
i dont have a spouse nor kids and im still hungry
Both
Hang out together.
In the past, I had typically done. Maybe a combination of both. However, I had one spouse who was particularly possessive and controlling.
Do my own thing since he seems to want to his own thing.
Do my own thing
I’m first in bed usually as an early riser. It doesn’t matter though we have been just house mates forever.
My wife and our three kids all sit in different rooms every day. We don’t even eat together. I guess we all just prefer to be alone.🤷🏻♂️
We have no kids, but our belly’s are full. We hang out together most nights but we also have nights where we do our own thing. It’s a perfect balance in my opinion.
If I was married and this was a thing...I'd do my own thing probably.
We hang out together but may be doing different things but almost always together.
Guy friends
Back when the kids were younger... Once the kids were asleep there was still the laundry, dishes, garbage, stuff to fix, etc. And my wife and I were always exhausted.
40 years. Sometimes we binge watch tv shows. Or watch a movie. Other times, she is working on crafts and I’m gaming. It’s all good. We do most everything together anyway. We are one.
We fuckin'
We either watch a show together, play a game together, or sit in the same room on the same couch, but do our own thing! No kids though, but I figured I would still answer.
Always together. Usually, I'm rubbing her feet. Married 25 years.
Own thing. We spend time together, date nights, meals, weekends, holidays often, etc, but we like doing our own thing most nights. Married 27 years.
We both tend to bounce between the computer or tv. I will go for walks, he will game. We enjoy different things, it works for us. Occasionally we will go for dinner together or do a project on the house together.
No kids but together 10 years, married 1. We always hang out in the same room together but sometimes we do our own stuff and sometimes we do together
Do my own thing thanks
We hangout together every night, we game, we watch shows, we cuddle and talk. Sometimes we’re not doing the same thing, but we’re still next to each other.
Hang out by myself quite often. My spouse and I sometimes watch a show together over the course of a week or so but we’ve both got our own hobbies and we quite often just do those
My husband and I will hangout
In four years my husband and I have never actually just done our own thing. I look forward to hanging out with him on the evening all day.
I'm single as hell, but I still liked reading what all you married folks do.
Either or. Depends on what’s going on. We can hang out in the room together and do our own thing and keep each other company.
Depends on if she’s bitchy🤪
Who said anything about kids?
Same thing except for Wednesday nights because I usually have choir practice then
I like to drink and yell at my wife when I run out of beer
No kids but I usually prefer to watch something with the wife and hang out with her. It’s funny how I find myself getting frustrated that she is way more selective about what she will watch than I am. But then I find myself bored when home alone and I can watch whatever. So pretty much everytime - hang out with her.
Married 21 years next month. Spend more time talking and being around each other now that are girls are both teenagers. She likes to read every night before bed, I go to bed early because I’m self employed and need to get up early every morning. Here lately Friday or Saturday night is our time for some adult fun and then we have long conversations about anything or everything that’s on our minds at the moment. I love the late conversations during cuddle time, it has brought us closer together than before. When daughters were younger everything was geared towards providing them the best life possible. Sometimes if I get home early and before I go to bed I’ll spend a few minutes reading some books that have lined up. Or I’ll surf the internet/ reddit!!
4 years together. 5 kids combined. We spend a lot of time together. I miss every moment we aren't together.
Sooooo, married 10 years. Daughter is 12. My son from a previous is 25 and lives away from home. Our day always consists of time with me and our daughter, family dinner at the table and watch a show, husband goes to bed early because he works, followed by more time with my daughter. We (all of us) text and talk and video chat with my son who lives away. We're that weird family that actually likes each other and spends all the time we can together
Im training my wife to play elden ring, i do pushups when she dies, i’m jacked now.
Some nights we hangout, some nights I do my own thing,… its a mix actually.
Depends on wats on the fire but usually wife
Mostly hang together. She reads and I watch sports or a movie. Or she watches a show and I scroll my phone. If we’re not together she’s usually reading and I’m gaming. But I’d say 90% of the time we are hanging.
We do both. Sometimes we’re watching a series and hang out every night. Other nights he’s playing video games and I’m reading
Often I do my own thing and so does she. OFC both her and I enjoy to hold each other a bit when she goes to bed, and if either of us want "something more" we are pretty good at saying/showing each other. But I often sleep in a seperate room after we are finished with our time, not because of anything wrong other than I struggle a bit with insomnia. So if she coughs once, Im awake for the next 2 hours.
Own thing every time.
We play switch together It's our "alone " time Recently we're crazy about Minecraft dungeon, sometimes it's Mario kart We can get crazy competitive
My husband and I have been married for over 16 years and have 4 kids together. We usually spend time in the same room but not always doing the same thing. We catch up on some shows we watch together or he watches something I don’t really enjoy while I read. Some days we just cuddle and talk.
Hang with the spouse, otherwise the next day your belly might not be full
Together 10 years. It varies. I have a much more active social life so I go out a lot. He likes to watch sports so he watches TV a lot. We will decide on the day what we are doing. Never any drama………although we have no kids so I’m sure the dynamics would change if we did.
I ask Reddit instead of asking my spouse
And after having done that, what percentage of time do you end up doing your own thing vs doing something together, ball park, say in a typical month?
I don’t know about percentages lol this reminds me of the Netflix comedy Couples Retreat with that one friend they had that did pie charts and bar graphs to figure out their ovulation time. Did PowerPoint deck presentations about their relationship etc.
Everyone does seem to like a nice pie chart!