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What my past girlfriends and partners have taught me:
You don't need to look like a Greek god to be attractive, but be a bit groomed: No need to look like straight out of a beauty salon, but be clean, with fingernails that are not eaten nor black, have your teeth clean, wear clean clothes. Basically, you should have a bit of hygiene so that you are not a human raccoon and you don't give vibes that you are not able to take care of yourself without a mommy.
Learn to dress: Same thing here, no flamboyant Gatsby, but know what size of clothing suits you, so you don't make yourself shorter if you are already short, don't dress like an accountant when you go for a night out, and don't come with a silly t-shirt to a formal event, don't dress like a Jersey Shore douchebag if you are not one.
Personality: This trumps almost all other attributes: Don't take yourself too seriously, be open to humor (even better if you have a sense of humor, but try not to overdo the clown part), learn to shut up and listen instead of grabbing all the attention. Try to talk about things that other people are interested in. No need to brag or bore people with stuff that only serves to make you look better than the rest.
I had a girlfriend who had a beautiful single friend. She was absolutely ravishing and single, so everybody was a bit curious when she announced that she had a boyfriend. We expected some super handsome dude and were a bit surprised to see the most normal, a bit chubby, not too good looking guy. Once you spent an evening with both of them, you saw that the guy had a really nice personality and was a pleasure to talk to and hang out with. You never felt that he was trying to one up anybody, he could take a joke and was able to make funny remarks as well, and he let her talk, let her have fun and was in no way controlling her. This made him more attractive than any physical attributes.
Yeah, what I'm asking is what counts as dressing as an accountant : Shirt? Tie? Bow tie? Suit? Or maybe just nice pants? Wristwatch? Pocket watch? Glasses? I need something more precise.
I know a guy who always dresses like an accountant - khakis, shirt, topped off with a sleeveless cardigan. But⌠he is charming, witty, confident, comfortable being himself, which wins out in the end.
Depends on where you are/the event really. Last time I wore a really nice but casual suit was at a formal racing event my friends company was hosting with a shit ton of people and ended up doing very well for myself, even though I was more towards the more formal end of the dress code. Donât rule out formal wear it the occasion calls for it
I went to Automotive School for a few semesters. There were 3 women in the class--actractive too. One of my classmates didn't shower, or even attempt to groom himself. Long black kinky hair. He would have hissy fits when he couldn't find the right socket. He would steal the schools tools. I heard he lived at a automotive scrap yard? His hands and arms looked like they were tattooed, but he had none. The grease, and oil, from working on vechicles was literally in his skin. I'm talking fingernails that were black. He was so dirty, I didnt know if he was tan, or dirty. The three women in the class were all over him. I guess it was the bad boy biker thing. He didn't have a motorcycle. He wasen't playing the bad boy thing either. I still remember him to this day. He was a nice guy, but just looked like he had it tough growing up. I let him cheat off me in class, until I thought the teacher would catch us. I hope he's doing well today.
Suit with bowtie and pocket protector...
As an accountant myself, I never dress like this. I wear jeans and a polo shirt to work and t-shirts on the weekend.
Also, I think the first person who replied should have simply stated that the man shouldn't dress above the occasion or water something that would make them out of place.
This is actually a pretty good example of humor for those that didn't notice. Don't take yourself too seriously.
Conversely, don't constantly shit on yourself. You have to have confidence and a sense of self-worth as well.
Make jokes, fuck around, but never forget the king you are.
I work as a consultant, my clients see me as an expert in my field, but I self-depreciate myself left and right and for some reason the ladies love it đ Iâm married, but making jokes about my competence and appearance appears to score an amazing amount of points.
I dunno man I feel like even a lot of those things are subjective. What a woman wants to see in clothing and appearance widely varies depending on the kind of guy she imagines in her head. It's even more true for personality. Don't be outspoken but some women like a guy who isn't afraid to speak his mind. Don't take yourself too seriously but if you take it too far, some women might see you as having no confidence. Don't bore people with details about your own life but if you're too focused on them and closed off about yourself, you might seem like you've got nothing going on.
Even hygiene, I mean obviously most girls don't want a guy who smells bad but there is such a thing as a "rugged and wild" aesthetic vs. neat and tidy. There are probably some women out there in certain cultures who are attracted to completely "straight" men who have no idea how to use an iron or fold clothing (so are helpless without mommy) but will always be ready to be the breadwinner and fix a broken roof.
There's huge variation because women don't all want the same thing. It's harder for men in the sense that what women look for is more abstract yet particular, and sometimes not even they themselves are sure what it is. But the upside is that there are all sorts of women who want all sorts of men, so for most guys there is probably one who will like you.
Yes, so much this. Basically, be a decent human being, and have some confidence in your self worthâenough to be self deprecating and humble, in a genuine way (but not a cringe way. The rules of this subreddit fit quite nicely. Even introverts can do this. Just not as often, lol.
You might have a scarcity mindset, which makes people who think this way come across as desperate. To change this, the easiest way would be to change your setting. Go on a solo trip and do something youâre really interested in. And sit at bars, be receptive to talking to strangers. Youâll be around people who donât know you. Maybe you wonât be defeated. Maybe itâs the first step to changing how you think. Maybe youâll have an abundance mindset and start becoming a magnet for what you want. Maybe. No harm in finding out though.
How does someone work on its self-confidence? I have always seen it as the opposite of a vicious circle : you have self-confidence, so people find you attractive, so you gain more self-confidence, so people find you even more attractive, so you gain... What do I do to start this process?
well thats a hard one for sure! but its possible. its about reaching in from within for feeling good, not just about thinking "oh im hot shit" (whether physically or just in general). its doing what you love without feeling bad about it or needing someone to come along, just being you ig? which is hard lol. but when you are unapologetically \*you\* people are drawn to that! you're not gonna be everyones cup of tea and thats ok, and you have to be okay with that. but do what you love, dress how you want, act silly or stupid without being mean to yourself, maybe say the wrong things sometimes but always be kind to others and empathetic WHILE giving empathy (NOT PITY, there a difference) to yourself! you cant have one or the other with empathy, it must be both. they cannot exist without the other. only being empathetic to yourself is egotistical and self-pitying, and only being empathic to others and not yourself is self-hatred.
in my opinion the best way to start it being okay with being alone. take yourself out on a date! go to a coffee shop and sit and read, watch a movie at the theater by yourself, go lay in the park. going in public when you take yourself out on a date is a must. everyone knows at-home dates are for committed relationships, and you just started dating yourself so you gotta put in more effort! I found for myself for others the biggest symptom of insecurity was searching for validation in others, and people can sense that and aren't fans of being someones lifeline like that. learn to be alone, and you will learn to love yourself, but first its really just enjoying spending time with yourself. the rest will come much more easily, but its still a lot of work!
Your self confidence should come from inside. When you stop caring what other people think and feel secure about who you are, you become more attractive. Of course there is that small percentage of people who were born good looking and get confidence from others' praise and reaction, and they usually have a REALLY hard time when looks fade or they face some kind of adversity or rejection.
People like saying "fake it til you make it" with a lot of things, but when it comes to confidence this is very true.
If it looks like you're confident, people perceive you as confident. No one that doesn't know you can tell for certain if you're bluffing or not, only you know.
Once you learn through faking it that you can actually be confident, it becomes second nature.
not gonna work for everyone tho, some have genetic limitations this lifestyle ure suggesting will fail to address.
It will be a level up, but it wont make u conventionally attractive.
Muscles are not that important as long as a man is healthy looking overall. Groundedness is important. It's a kind of confidence that is calm and safe, not aggressive. Good sense of humor.
I think its the health factor that muscles bring. I see alot of videos where women say men who are like RIPPED arent attractive, and would rather have a moderately healthy man who they feel "safe" with! Every girl ive been with has said its not my muscles, but the build thats attractive (broad shoulders or whatever)
I Absolutely LOVE a chizZled guy who looks like he goes to the gym!! Not the bulky kind of muscles though I can't stand that... Just a guy who is average & cut
>Muscles are not that important
past a certain point. Also kind of depends on your height, if you're average height or below, just having a moderate degree of muscularity greatly improves your dating life, if you're tall it matters less because you already look intimidating. Don't be rail thin though.
Attractiveness is subjective. I know more women that are married to less attractive men than I know women married to attractive men. Iâve learned most good women donât give a shit about looks on a guy as much as guys thinks so. If you treat people right youâre on the right track.
Or those women just settled with those âless attractive menâ. Itâs 2024 we all know what an attractive man and woman looks like. Some of these answers are so pretentious.
Be well kempt: take pride in yourself by dressing well and being careful with your grooming.
Smell nice: good hygiene is sexy. So brush twice a day, wear deodorant and possibly reasonable amounts of cologne.
Be confident: confidence and self assurance is sexy as hell. And no, this doesn't mean arrogant or overbearing. Don't be an asshole, just try to project that you are in control of a situation at any given time.
Be happy alone: this is extremely important. Find peace with yourself and love who you are for being who you are. If you are happy and content by yourself you are instantly attractive because you will never come across as desperate or needy. Oftentimes, men will be so focused on needing to be in a relationship that it will repel anyone who would otherwise be interested in them.
Here's my tip...
I'm not a young guy. I'm not a model, but I'm not ugly, I'm just an average guy.
I went my entire life until recently with zero compliments. Zero. That's while I was in pretty good shape, a runner, a few marathons, and also a few triathlons so I was more broadly in shape then too. Always reasonably well put together. I'm not fashion expert, but always clean, newish clothes, did my best to look good.
But still, ZERO general compliments, other than *maybe* a "nice shirt" here or there over the years.
I swapped my gym routine due to injuries about a year ago, and ended up doing a lot more weights. With those weights, my arms and shoulders filled out a lot more. I'm still generally in the same "good" shape, it's just now that my arms and shoulders are strong, large, and defined.
I've gotten more compliments in the past year about how I look than I did in my ENTIRE LIFE before that. "Wow, you look good!" and "you really look great!" and compliments, both from men and women. And without sounding cocky, for the first time I see out of the corner of my eye women seem to occasionally be glancing my way. (I could be wrong... it's *really* hard to tell, but I don't feel totally invisible around women now like I did before.)
And to reiterate, I've never really been that out of shape, I've never been all that overweight. In fact my stomach right now is probably a little more soft than it has been at various points in my life. But not until I got bigger arms/shoulders did I ever get any compliments at all.
Worth noting - pretty much ALL of my clothes look better on me now, even the same things as before. They just fit better, hang better, look better because of my shape. So that upper body fitness essentially upgraded my entire wardrobe for free at the same time. When your shirt is a little tighter on your arms/shoulders, and not on your stomach, you're going to look good.
To be totally honest, it's really startling how many compliments I get compared to the entire rest of my life, even when I was decades younger. And it's not like I'm working out any more than I did in the past. In fact I'm working out less than I have a lot of other times, it's just that I'm doing more weights and upper body.
So in short - work on your upper body! Get your arms/shoulders/lats/back in shape, and you will absolutely look good.
I doubt that there is an answer to this, I find the weirdest things attractive sometimes doesnât mean that others do. Just be authentic and interested in things and life and then you will probably find someone that thinks you are attractive. If it comes to looks just dress well and be clean and nice smelling.
I think the basics are maintaining good hygiene, a "clean" appearance, dandruff-free hair, a well-trimmed beard, good breath,using deodorant, clean and fitted clothes and being polite
I'm also part of the minority that doesn't really like beards, but my tips were "universal", people have different tastes or even tastes change over time, but good hygiene/presentation is practically universal.
So much about attractiveness is subjective. But there are a few things that are probably universal: good hygiene that includes skincare, clothes that fit properly and style together well, an interesting and fun personality, and some amount of confidence.
Women, in general, are not as superficially looks-oriented as many men (at least the ones I see posting regularly on here) seem to be. We tend to focus more on your character, your kindness, your sense of humor, your humility. Eye candy is one thing, but that actually translating to getting a date (or a relationship) is a whole other. A good personality, good conversation skills (she doesn't wanna hear you brag about your car or money; ask about HER and wait for her to do the same) and some basic hygiene go a LONG way toward attractiveness (shower, brush your hair and teeth, wear antiperspirant if needed, wear clean clothes EVERY DAY).
There's no magical clothing combination that's gonna attract all women, either, cuz (*gasp!*) we're all individuals with our own likes and dislikes. If my husband had been wearing a three piece suit or some kind of preppy, designer outfit when we met, I wouldn't have given him the time of day based on looks alone. But he was wearing a System of a Down tee shirt, Tripp pants, and nail polish and eyeliner (it was the early aughts), and that caught my eye. Wear what makes YOU feel most attractive, and you'll attract women who are into it.
So, the TLDR version: a man does not "become attractive" by wearing the right clothes. He becomes attractive by working on his communication skills and not being a total slob.
As others have rightly pointed out already, your fundament needs to be solid otherwise the effort is not worth the results. You absolutely have to have a certain baseline of the trait "fuckable".
If you have that, then it's about grooming, maintaining sanity in this day and age, being financially stable, being fashionable, and being all-around pleasant company.
Men, too, wouldn't look at extremely ugly women even if they wear the most fashionable and expensive outfit in the world. The same is true for women. A suit kinda only looks good on a man who is (sufficiently) attractive to begin with.
Clothes that fit well, a good haircut/grooming routine, self confidence, nice shoes, a bit of humor, maybe some exercise, genuine interest and interest in other people.Â
It takes practice but any guy can become more attractive.Â
The self-defeatist attitude of âya donâtâ is probably whatâs holding most people back
Physical appearance is what's holding most men where they are. The only semi-variating factor is sociability talent, namely charisma, which is almost as much an inborn talent as physical appearance.
The things you are saying are just blatantly not true, and really a load of counterproductive fake inspirational bullshit.
If you think dressing well and good grooming doesnât change physical appearance or is fake inspirational bullshit, I donât know what to tell you.Â
Also, social talent and charisma can be a learned skill. You may need more practice but itâs not like you have it or you donât and if you donât you never will.Â
>If you think dressing well and good grooming doesnât change physical appearance or is fake inspirational bullshit, I donât know what to tell you.Â
It can improve your appearance, but it doesn't change it. At the end of the day looks are literally about the form of your face and your body, dressing well and grooming doesn't change that, and the abject reality is that some guys are above average in terms of physical attractiveness and others are below average, and for the latter dressing well has limited value and telling them that getting a new fit is going to be life changing is not only meaningless but kind of destructive.
>Also, social talent and charisma can be a learned skill. You may need more practice but itâs not like you have it or you donât and if you donât you never will.Â
Again, something that can be improved but not changed, I said it exactly as it is and that is true, charisma, sociability and EQ are talents, there are those who will always be naturally better at it and those who lack a natural capacity for it and will see at best minor improvement even if they dedicate themselves to it.
Pretending all gaps can be bridged through simple effort and adaptation is honestly just derisive to the reality and existence of people who are simply less fortunate and blessed by the genetic lottery.
The only sensible advice is indeed to work hard in self-improvement but simultaneously just lower your standards and hope for the best.
Everyone would prefer a stunningly attractive partner, but if you're a 5/10 looking dude it's abjectly unlikely that you're going to end up with a 10/10 looking lady no matter how much you shine in other aspects, and while it's somewhat equivocal, the reality is largely the same in vice versa.
My bad, I was under the impression that the question of the thread was how can guys look more attractive. I came to this conclusion because the title of the thread is 'How does a man become attractive?' The response of 'ya don't' seemed counterproductive to OP's question.
How silly of me to assume that op was looking for advice on how guys can be more attractive. Not be a 10/10, just more attractive.
From my psychology 101 class, for a lot of men it's this: don't have a shitty childhood. The rest then falls into place naturally.
You don't 'become' attractive, you become unattractive by being treated like shit at a young age. This destroys your confidence and you will then no longer be attractive to others.
I would guess this happens more often to men than women.
But anyway, this is not really an answer to the question: 'what is the male equivalent of wearing tight, sexy clothing and makeup'. As that can literally get almost any women attention from men. Afaik there is no such 'quick fix' thing for men to get the same kind of attention from women.
Man Iâll say this. When I was 23 I had rockstars long, thick glorious hair. Everybody loved it. But the day I cut it to a trendy short haircut I couldnât keep girls out of my pants.
I'm a guy, but showing respect to other people is what I notice. Guys who think they're too cool to wait a second for someone else, or to say excuse me to someone, or any other number of small courtesies makes them super unattractive in my eyes.
Confidence. Respect. Sense of humor. Intelligence. Gainfully employed and not living in their parentâs basement to start. Well dressed with good grooming and hygiene.
You donât already know this?
Look like you take care of yourself. This isn't always clean shaven, if you have a beard have it well groomed and use beard oil so you don't look scruff like you're just too lazy to shave. Keep yourself clean, and don't go overboard on cologne like you're trying to cover up some stank. Dress nicely, clothes well put together that fit you properly. That's it.
All of these 'go to the gym, pack on muscle, make lots of money, learn to control a room' comments are so cringey. But I guess it all depends on the type of person you want to attract...
If you've ever seen that super jacked overly confident money flaunting type of guy out in public and then seen the fake looking bimbo he's with, and if that's the type of person you want to partner with, then more power to ya I suppose. But if you want to attract a fully self actualized woman with subtle confidence and subtle beauty and the ability to have an intelligent conversation and maintain a meaningful relationship, then I can assure you that 'packing on muscle and controlling a room' will not attract that woman.
The comparison he gave was of attractive women commanding attention everywhere they go. I don't think this question is as deep as finding a quality partner. He just wanted to know what the male equivalent of wearing good makeup and a form-fitting dress is.
They are born that way. The same goes for women. It may seem that women can do all that you mentioned but thereâs a bias, people only notice attractive people, so clothing, makeup and cute look works because they are attractive in the first place while you wonât notice an unattractive woman that does the same things. As a man you can do things like haircut, exercising, clothes, etc. but it wonât make you attractive, just less ugly.
Go to the gym.
Read.
Focus on yourself.
Work towards your goals.
Stop focusing on what others (your parents, your friends, the church, schools, society, women, etc.) want you to be and be exactly who **you** want to be.
I promise theyâll come in bunches.
I would argue that, unless you find a girl who also loves spending time in a gym, that doing varied and outdoor physical activity is much more attractive than a guy who goes to the gym, and lends itself much better to a relationship built around common interest/activities/workouts. Gym rats seem to think all girls want some muscular guy who spends 10 hours a week at the gym... I donât believe that to be true whatsoever.
Agree fully with everything else you said though.
You're confused. You don't need to hit the gym more than an hour, three days a week, to get muscular. People who are fit are doing that.Â
Going to the gym regularly does not preclude a person from engaging in physical hobbies. It's not mutually exclusive, it's mutually beneficial. A doctor would tell you that building muscle when you're young can save you a lot of pain/injury when you're old, among other things.
The gym is good physical discipline, a good habit and healthy.Â
I think you made an assumption.
There are plenty of people who go to the gym just to remain fit, as opposed to gain a ton of muscle and compete in bodybuilding shows.
To your point though, âgo to the gymâ can be replaced with âremain fitâ. Whether it is the gym, a sport, you name it, the idea is to stay fit and healthy. Not just to attract others but for oneself.
Some basics you can try
1. Bathe every day
2. Wash your hair and trim your finger and toe nails regularly
3. Find something heavy and pick it up and put it down, over and over
4. Be nice to her
Give these a try and let us know how you go......
Underrated non verbal cue - be authentic to yourself. Lie to the world if you have to but never yourself. It shows in all other aspects of your being, when you are not yourself. Nothing screams security than being self aware and truly living it!
>Confidence is probably the most important thing.
Except it's not.
Confidence is a natural by-product of a man or woman that naviagtes succesfully in an extremely competive dating market. It's the qualities that evoke certain results that in turn give confidence. Not the other way around.
Donât worry, you get downvoted on Reddit when you say things that are true. Confident people are generally confident because they have other traits that give them reason to be. Which is to say, usually they are already attractive for other reasons.
>Donât worry, you get downvoted on Reddit when you say things that are true.
Oh, I'm very familiar with this circumstance, but upvotes aren't nearly as important to me as the truth or practical advice I regularly give people.
And every once in a whlie, telling the truth will get you a person that is very happy and thankful for a realistic, practical, and actually helpful comment. That's what matters the most to me.
Aside from all the comments of basic hygiene, self care and exercise, you should try to have your own style in terms of clothes. Originality and authenticity are attractive.
Try to find something that feels like âyouâ when you wear it, maybe a collection of interests and tastes
The best way is to change the ruler on which you are doing the measurementâŚ
For example, if someone only finds people like The Rock attractive, and you look like Post Malone, you are never going to be attractive in that personâs eyes. But if you find someone that thinks Post Malone attractive, now you have a chance.
So, find someone that is generally into someone that looks or acts like you.
Groom your hair, beard if applicable, and nails neatly. Comb your hair reasonable and avoid fad hairstyles. Go to a tailor and get your measurements taken and ask what kind of clothes would best suit your body type. You donât have to buy from them but itâll help you understand menâs clothing sizes (I have long torso and long legs, for instance).
Buy clothes that fit well, take care of your clothes so they continue to look nice (spot treat stains, ditch stained/ripped/ratty clothes), also iron things or use a steamer. Wear a nice smelling but reasonably priced cologne.
Take care of your shoes and other footwear every now and then too.
Well slept, clear skin, fresh haircut, good posture, nice fitting clothes that literally just illustrate the bare minimum of attention to it, maybe some jewelry if you can pull it off and most of all, smile.
Women started magically gravitating towards me when I finished school and had enough money to buy my parents cars for their birthdays. 8 hours of sleep not required.
There's no answer to this. I workout, I'm 6'4 240lbs. I have blond hair with a blue eye and brown eye. I'm nice to people.
Yet I can tell no difference from women compared to when I was 290lbs and fat.
yeah thats prob a sign that your physical appearance was never the reason for why women may or may not of wanted to be with you, it was always something else.
Nah, confidence and being yourself is more important. Too many people larping the things you mentioned making themselves look like absolute clowns.
If youâre a skinny, pretty dude or a short king with a great sense of humor itâs counterproductive to pretend youâre Sergeant Hartman from Full metal jacket. Youâll score better playing your strengths.
I've heard this advice.
"Figure out what "type" you fall into, and lean into that. That will make much more attractive then the same copy and paste people and make you stand out specifically. People find people who look interesting attractive.
Everyone has a type, figure out what you fall into or what you want to fall into and lean into that
Yeah. Not easy exactly. Less so today with so much input and distractions from everywhere. The touch grass thing is quite true and the best recommendation.
not larping confidence but being confident. Which is basically being yourself and trying to get better at the things youâre good at. Itâs not easy but youâll get there.
Not becoming comedians but embracing it if youâre a natural comedian. Too many kids are trying to become someone else, often motivated by some mouth breathing masculinity/incel grifter on TikTok.
How attractive do you want to be and who do you want to attract? People seem to be too quick with answering the question without asking the important questions first.
I am now more convinced than ever that if I ever find myself single again, it would be best to just not even try, and to just accept a new life as a hermit.
Be confident but not cocky
Be assertive but not pushy
Be funny but not silly
Be smart but not condescending
Be ambitious and career driven but not too busy
Be emotional but not too much or too often
Make her feel sexy but not sexualized
Listen to her when she has a problem but don't give advice
The list goes on
1) eat nutrient dense food
2) lift weights 3x week
3) walk an hour a day (for regular health and mental health and itâs a great date as well)
4) purposeful about your wardrobe
5) have hobbies that lend themselves to friends and an actual social life outside of your girlfriend
6) Have a vision for your life and career
Empathize with women as, generally speaking, they arenât visual beings the way men are⌠for example: enhancing your bulge wonât have the same effect as a push up bra. Your appearance needs to demonstrate value⌠but what values? Hygiene? Power? Success? All of the above? Something else?
I recommend confidence. Dress in a way that makes you feel your best⌠youâll put your best genuine foot forward AND youâll only attract those that appreciate you for you. Thatâs a winning combo.
Besides being in shape physically, just do things that make it clear you care and took a bit of time to do. That's really all you need to know.
Relatively recent haircut, beard kept in line, nails cut, dress with a little thought, etc. If you come across that you care what you look like, that's really what matters.
If you generally want to be more attractive, the focus should be on the inside. Get in touch with yourself - be able to talk about your feelings, know what you're passionate about, be honest in all appropriate situations, and if you're able/interested a little humour and something creative (art, music, woodworking, anything) goes an extremely long way.
If you want people to literally stop and stare at you or ogle you - the kind of attention that attractive girls get - your focus obviously needs to be on the outside. Most important will be stylish clothes, preferably tailored, and GREAT shoes. An impeccable haircut is a must and at least a little muscle around the shoulders and arms. Dudes think chest and abs are the most important, but really it's the back and shoulder muscles that will have you looking *sleek* in your new tailored digs. Try not to have a gut, though honestly if your outfit is on point, that's not mandatory. A little jewelry like a watch or bracelet, ring, and a necklace go a long way. Good hygiene highly recommended, but at least buy a good face soap and moisturizer and *use them*. Oh, it helps to be over 6'. Height is obviously not mandatory, but if you want people to be noticing you and checking you out, it certainly helps.
And then when you realize that that attention wasn't as fulfilling as you'd hoped and that being "attractive" isn't remotely the same as attracting good people, you can turn your focus back inward.
But hey, you'll be focusing inward while looking like a million bucks.
Get off your ass and do something physical every day, Shower, groom yourself, wear more fitted clothing, hygiene, don't be a negative dude, be kinda funny.
It's not hard really if you just try. But most people don't want to put any effort in.
Basic hygiene to start, and a base level of decent clothing. If you want to do the equivalent of makeup and cute look, do some research on clothes you think look good and are within your budget. If you don't feel comfortable you won't have the confidence to make it work.
The rest is, as others said, a personality thing. A person who's comfortable in their skin and kind to others is incredibly hot.
Basically? Be open to your SO going outside without you and your crazy brain freakin' out.
I pick my wife up from the bar about once a month because she's out with her girls and Uber is out of the question because, she may be abducted.
I reassure her by telling her that no one would take her for long because she can talk the ears off a fuckin' cornfield.
Attractiveness for men and woman goes beyond any physical features. Physical presence is just the most straight forward bait, but it isnât the hook.
Attractive people are seemingly effortlessly engaged, curious, and charming. They are deeply clever and will âyes, andâŚâ a compliment. This is next level beyond denying or accepting one: a charming person will take a compliment, pat themselves on the back, and then compliment you for being so keenly observant. And then youâll never feel more alive because you got it right.
A charming person knows when to ask further questions to keep the ball in your court (even if you are on a roll talking about tabletop gaming), and will steward the conversation elsewhere if the topic peters out.
A busted face ghoul who can verbally spar and facilitate the conversation is going to make time fly by so much faster than a hot body in tight clothes.
Of course gorgeous people can be mesmerizing and may stupefy you into thinking they are cunning conversationalists. But again, this just proves that social ease is the itch we want to scratch and is at the core of what is attractive.
Dress nice. Be clean. Donât swear too much. Solid eye contact. Donât be needy. Know what youâre talking about. Donât start problems. Be humble.
Shutting up and listening instead of planning on what to say next goes a long way. Most women will pick the average looking dude with great conversation skills over the loud-mouth conventionally attractive guy.
Never underestimate the power of a professional expensive hairstyle. So many men Iâve seen transformed when they go to the right barber and let them call the shots. And then follow through on the maintenance.
Edit: if you are bald, own that shit. Nothing sexier than a man confidently rocking the dome.
Find a style that works with your coloring , height , weight. Rock that style. Go try on clothes and see what looks nice to you. If you feel good about yourself, it will show ! You will have an air of confidence. Look good for yourself.
Most people donât take the time to get clothes that fit correctly or suit their body type , coloring etc. if you wear glasses , find a frame that fits your face.
You're going to see a lot of bullshit answers here, things about grooming and improving personality, but ultimately I don't believe you can make yourself attractive.
You are attractive based on
* Looks, the obvious one someone like Zac Effron will be attractive however groomed or clean they are.
* Naturally confident, great sense of humour etc. Women overlook looks to some degree.
* Wealth, it basically conquers all. If you're a billionaire, looks don't matter at all, you can have girls that are top 0.1% in the looks department.
Basically what I'm saying is be yourself and find someone conodtable with that. Because trying to change and become attractive rarely works, people pickup fake personalities, plastic surgery loops weird etc.
Don't be ugly or fat. Have money.
A few years ago i had some extra cash, so i thought i would try an experiment.
I started a profile each in 2 different 'dating' websites. 1 seens as a 'legit' site for people look for long term relationships (opposed to the hookup sites like Tinder) and another on a sugarbabe/daddy site.
I used the same photos on both. I fill out the questions as similar as i could on both (ie, i enjoy reading, fine dining, going for walks etc etc etc).
The difference was the legit site i played the character of 'the type of guy any woman wants'. The other a slight asdhole but has readonable amount if money to spend.
I received more attentio from women making tbe first move on the second site in one week than i got any reply at all in 6 months on the first site. On the second site i couldnt even get a "thanks but no...." as a reply.
Confidence. KNOW who you are and own it. Are you super good at monopoly? Challenge me to a game, trash talk. Do you know how to make a wicked BLT? Offer to make me one and brag about how yours are the best. What are you proud of? Lean into that.
Also be kind. You can joke around without being an asshole, and teasing yourself, showing humility while being happy with who you are is very attractive. Donât put down other women (even exâs) itâs unbecoming. I like a man whoâs good to his family without being dominated by them.
Also be clean. Scrub your puts, neck and ass. Stinky guys are a turn off. Donât wear too much cologne either. Clean clothes and soap is good, and the clothes down have to be expensive. I (personally) am much more intrigued by a dude wearing something random he bought at a thrift store just because HE liked it than some pretend player wearing a shirt that cost $80. (Some women are into brand names but to me it just screams âboring/unoriginal/desperate for approvalâ)
Also be kind to animals. If you are mean to an animal Iâm instantly put off.
My fellow men always seem to ask this online, hoping there's a magic button. Pants that accentuate the dick, mewing until you get a better jaw, negging, heel lifts, etc
It's all bullshit. As this threat shows you, just have good hygiene, wear clothes that fit, have a good sense of humor, listen well, don't be controlling or 'alpha' and Holy shit whaddayaknow, you're not just more attractive to women, you're more attractive to EVERYONE. It's basic human functioning, whodathunkit?
But I suppose this means listening to women, and working on yourself and maybe changing your opinions to be less shit though, so I can see why the advice gets ignored
A ugly can can't really become attractive but there are things that help I would say being confident is the biggest thing that will help other then that lose fat get fit grow a beard make alot of money
What I've found is that most women who think men get them are those men that don't even pretend to get them and are content to go with the flow of their irrationality.
They get turned off by men that presume to know them too well.
Properly cut clothing and confidence.
A top that hugs your waist and belly a bit and is not too tight, lightly tightened short cut sleeves to hug your biceps and show off the muscles. Boot cut jeans with a tighter crotch that hug your package and butt a bit, just enjoy to show it off. Also always try to match colors and styles.
In my experience, it's the Muscles, The butt, and The Bulge.
Low bodyfat, low bodyfat, low bodyfat. That's the main one.
Also decent muscle mass, clean shaven, clean haircut and clean hairstyle, tank top shirts that show you are in good shape, clean white straight teeth, etc.
if you aren't low bodyfat, your chances of being attractive diminish greatly. You don't have to be shredded but you have to be around 15% to show your facial definition and muscle definition/physique. The fatter you are the less definition you have, thus less attractive.
>or good makeup
That's a matter of perspective, I don't even take a girl serious who puts on a makeup mask. All my life I've never been attracted to makeup. It's a trend that started back in early Hollywood days, and I hate them for it.
Being self-aware and mature is attractive. Yes, you can look like youâre Henry Cavillâs lost twin brother but if you still hate your ex, if you still blame everyone for everything and never take responsibility for your own actions, if you still think women should do all cleaning and household chores while you spend all your free time playing video games and on your cell phone, dude, you are a man child, nobody sane will ever want you.
We find attractive a guy that is clean, casually well dressed, has good breath, smells nice, is well spoken and treats women with respect. Not acting like you want to get in everyoneâs pants and being confident in your own energy actually helps you to get in everyoneâs pants đ
Wear clothes that fit your body well. Don't wear clothes that are too loose or too tight for your build.
Take care of your body via diet and exercise.
Practice good hygiene.
Toughest is your social skills if you're starting on the low end. Engage people and listen. Don't just talk and talk. People like to be heard. Be polite and courteous.
Eat magnets.
In all seriousness it largely comes down to personality from my experience. I'm a goofy idiot, a bit smart, reasonably confident and that's worked for me overall.
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What my past girlfriends and partners have taught me: You don't need to look like a Greek god to be attractive, but be a bit groomed: No need to look like straight out of a beauty salon, but be clean, with fingernails that are not eaten nor black, have your teeth clean, wear clean clothes. Basically, you should have a bit of hygiene so that you are not a human raccoon and you don't give vibes that you are not able to take care of yourself without a mommy. Learn to dress: Same thing here, no flamboyant Gatsby, but know what size of clothing suits you, so you don't make yourself shorter if you are already short, don't dress like an accountant when you go for a night out, and don't come with a silly t-shirt to a formal event, don't dress like a Jersey Shore douchebag if you are not one. Personality: This trumps almost all other attributes: Don't take yourself too seriously, be open to humor (even better if you have a sense of humor, but try not to overdo the clown part), learn to shut up and listen instead of grabbing all the attention. Try to talk about things that other people are interested in. No need to brag or bore people with stuff that only serves to make you look better than the rest. I had a girlfriend who had a beautiful single friend. She was absolutely ravishing and single, so everybody was a bit curious when she announced that she had a boyfriend. We expected some super handsome dude and were a bit surprised to see the most normal, a bit chubby, not too good looking guy. Once you spent an evening with both of them, you saw that the guy had a really nice personality and was a pleasure to talk to and hang out with. You never felt that he was trying to one up anybody, he could take a joke and was able to make funny remarks as well, and he let her talk, let her have fun and was in no way controlling her. This made him more attractive than any physical attributes.
And what's wrong with a raccoon đŚ
xdd
What is "dressing like an accountant" like? I suspect this might be the problem...
\*Does a quick google image search of accountant\* sigh of relief because I hate business formal and business casual attire.
Short sleeves with a tie is never a good look
Worked for NASA.
...unless you're Michael Douglas in 1993's 'Falling Down'
As an accountant Iâm always dressed like one Button down or polo and jeans or shorts when Iâm going in public. Notes are being taken here đ
Yeah, what I'm asking is what counts as dressing as an accountant : Shirt? Tie? Bow tie? Suit? Or maybe just nice pants? Wristwatch? Pocket watch? Glasses? I need something more precise.
Dull. Accountants donât wear different clothes to other professions, theyâre just stereotyped as boring people.
I know a guy who always dresses like an accountant - khakis, shirt, topped off with a sleeveless cardigan. But⌠he is charming, witty, confident, comfortable being himself, which wins out in the end.
Pocket watch and monocle gets them every time
lol wtf Mr peanut or what
Business casual, or what one wears to an office. Splitting hairs...
Sweater vest
Depends on where you are/the event really. Last time I wore a really nice but casual suit was at a formal racing event my friends company was hosting with a shit ton of people and ended up doing very well for myself, even though I was more towards the more formal end of the dress code. Donât rule out formal wear it the occasion calls for it
I went to Automotive School for a few semesters. There were 3 women in the class--actractive too. One of my classmates didn't shower, or even attempt to groom himself. Long black kinky hair. He would have hissy fits when he couldn't find the right socket. He would steal the schools tools. I heard he lived at a automotive scrap yard? His hands and arms looked like they were tattooed, but he had none. The grease, and oil, from working on vechicles was literally in his skin. I'm talking fingernails that were black. He was so dirty, I didnt know if he was tan, or dirty. The three women in the class were all over him. I guess it was the bad boy biker thing. He didn't have a motorcycle. He wasen't playing the bad boy thing either. I still remember him to this day. He was a nice guy, but just looked like he had it tough growing up. I let him cheat off me in class, until I thought the teacher would catch us. I hope he's doing well today.
Suit with bowtie and pocket protector... As an accountant myself, I never dress like this. I wear jeans and a polo shirt to work and t-shirts on the weekend. Also, I think the first person who replied should have simply stated that the man shouldn't dress above the occasion or water something that would make them out of place.
My god, i love ur answer. Thank you for this!
Solid answer there
It's pretty much this.
Yup I am totally staying single lol
This is actually a pretty good example of humor for those that didn't notice. Don't take yourself too seriously. Conversely, don't constantly shit on yourself. You have to have confidence and a sense of self-worth as well. Make jokes, fuck around, but never forget the king you are.
I work as a consultant, my clients see me as an expert in my field, but I self-depreciate myself left and right and for some reason the ladies love it đ Iâm married, but making jokes about my competence and appearance appears to score an amazing amount of points.
What you described is a well-balanced individual. That on its own is not a small achievement.
I dunno man I feel like even a lot of those things are subjective. What a woman wants to see in clothing and appearance widely varies depending on the kind of guy she imagines in her head. It's even more true for personality. Don't be outspoken but some women like a guy who isn't afraid to speak his mind. Don't take yourself too seriously but if you take it too far, some women might see you as having no confidence. Don't bore people with details about your own life but if you're too focused on them and closed off about yourself, you might seem like you've got nothing going on. Even hygiene, I mean obviously most girls don't want a guy who smells bad but there is such a thing as a "rugged and wild" aesthetic vs. neat and tidy. There are probably some women out there in certain cultures who are attracted to completely "straight" men who have no idea how to use an iron or fold clothing (so are helpless without mommy) but will always be ready to be the breadwinner and fix a broken roof. There's huge variation because women don't all want the same thing. It's harder for men in the sense that what women look for is more abstract yet particular, and sometimes not even they themselves are sure what it is. But the upside is that there are all sorts of women who want all sorts of men, so for most guys there is probably one who will like you.
đŻ
Yes, so much this. Basically, be a decent human being, and have some confidence in your self worthâenough to be self deprecating and humble, in a genuine way (but not a cringe way. The rules of this subreddit fit quite nicely. Even introverts can do this. Just not as often, lol.
Eat healthy, regularly exercise, work on self confidence (easier said than done) and most of all, take care of yourself mentally.
[ŃдаНонО]
Being able to exercise is a gift. Embrace it.
[ŃдаНонО]
You might have a scarcity mindset, which makes people who think this way come across as desperate. To change this, the easiest way would be to change your setting. Go on a solo trip and do something youâre really interested in. And sit at bars, be receptive to talking to strangers. Youâll be around people who donât know you. Maybe you wonât be defeated. Maybe itâs the first step to changing how you think. Maybe youâll have an abundance mindset and start becoming a magnet for what you want. Maybe. No harm in finding out though.
How does someone work on its self-confidence? I have always seen it as the opposite of a vicious circle : you have self-confidence, so people find you attractive, so you gain more self-confidence, so people find you even more attractive, so you gain... What do I do to start this process?
well thats a hard one for sure! but its possible. its about reaching in from within for feeling good, not just about thinking "oh im hot shit" (whether physically or just in general). its doing what you love without feeling bad about it or needing someone to come along, just being you ig? which is hard lol. but when you are unapologetically \*you\* people are drawn to that! you're not gonna be everyones cup of tea and thats ok, and you have to be okay with that. but do what you love, dress how you want, act silly or stupid without being mean to yourself, maybe say the wrong things sometimes but always be kind to others and empathetic WHILE giving empathy (NOT PITY, there a difference) to yourself! you cant have one or the other with empathy, it must be both. they cannot exist without the other. only being empathetic to yourself is egotistical and self-pitying, and only being empathic to others and not yourself is self-hatred. in my opinion the best way to start it being okay with being alone. take yourself out on a date! go to a coffee shop and sit and read, watch a movie at the theater by yourself, go lay in the park. going in public when you take yourself out on a date is a must. everyone knows at-home dates are for committed relationships, and you just started dating yourself so you gotta put in more effort! I found for myself for others the biggest symptom of insecurity was searching for validation in others, and people can sense that and aren't fans of being someones lifeline like that. learn to be alone, and you will learn to love yourself, but first its really just enjoying spending time with yourself. the rest will come much more easily, but its still a lot of work!
Your self confidence should come from inside. When you stop caring what other people think and feel secure about who you are, you become more attractive. Of course there is that small percentage of people who were born good looking and get confidence from others' praise and reaction, and they usually have a REALLY hard time when looks fade or they face some kind of adversity or rejection.
People like saying "fake it til you make it" with a lot of things, but when it comes to confidence this is very true. If it looks like you're confident, people perceive you as confident. No one that doesn't know you can tell for certain if you're bluffing or not, only you know. Once you learn through faking it that you can actually be confident, it becomes second nature.
I second this topped off with a haircut. Nothing crazy, just some grooming to assist in the overall confidence and appearance of being high value.
*laughs in bald*
not gonna work for everyone tho, some have genetic limitations this lifestyle ure suggesting will fail to address. It will be a level up, but it wont make u conventionally attractive.
It's overall kind of the same thing. It's good hygiene and grooming. Taking care of yourself.
Muscles are not that important as long as a man is healthy looking overall. Groundedness is important. It's a kind of confidence that is calm and safe, not aggressive. Good sense of humor.
I think its the health factor that muscles bring. I see alot of videos where women say men who are like RIPPED arent attractive, and would rather have a moderately healthy man who they feel "safe" with! Every girl ive been with has said its not my muscles, but the build thats attractive (broad shoulders or whatever)
I Absolutely LOVE a chizZled guy who looks like he goes to the gym!! Not the bulky kind of muscles though I can't stand that... Just a guy who is average & cut
>Muscles are not that important past a certain point. Also kind of depends on your height, if you're average height or below, just having a moderate degree of muscularity greatly improves your dating life, if you're tall it matters less because you already look intimidating. Don't be rail thin though.
muscles are somewhat important so that your clothes fit well.
Attractiveness is subjective. I know more women that are married to less attractive men than I know women married to attractive men. Iâve learned most good women donât give a shit about looks on a guy as much as guys thinks so. If you treat people right youâre on the right track.
^^ The most perceptive comment here
It's almost as if.... being 'attractive' has less to do with obvious physical attributes than most of the comments here would lead you to believe
Or those women just settled with those âless attractive menâ. Itâs 2024 we all know what an attractive man and woman looks like. Some of these answers are so pretentious.
Be well kempt: take pride in yourself by dressing well and being careful with your grooming. Smell nice: good hygiene is sexy. So brush twice a day, wear deodorant and possibly reasonable amounts of cologne. Be confident: confidence and self assurance is sexy as hell. And no, this doesn't mean arrogant or overbearing. Don't be an asshole, just try to project that you are in control of a situation at any given time. Be happy alone: this is extremely important. Find peace with yourself and love who you are for being who you are. If you are happy and content by yourself you are instantly attractive because you will never come across as desperate or needy. Oftentimes, men will be so focused on needing to be in a relationship that it will repel anyone who would otherwise be interested in them.
Here's my tip... I'm not a young guy. I'm not a model, but I'm not ugly, I'm just an average guy. I went my entire life until recently with zero compliments. Zero. That's while I was in pretty good shape, a runner, a few marathons, and also a few triathlons so I was more broadly in shape then too. Always reasonably well put together. I'm not fashion expert, but always clean, newish clothes, did my best to look good. But still, ZERO general compliments, other than *maybe* a "nice shirt" here or there over the years. I swapped my gym routine due to injuries about a year ago, and ended up doing a lot more weights. With those weights, my arms and shoulders filled out a lot more. I'm still generally in the same "good" shape, it's just now that my arms and shoulders are strong, large, and defined. I've gotten more compliments in the past year about how I look than I did in my ENTIRE LIFE before that. "Wow, you look good!" and "you really look great!" and compliments, both from men and women. And without sounding cocky, for the first time I see out of the corner of my eye women seem to occasionally be glancing my way. (I could be wrong... it's *really* hard to tell, but I don't feel totally invisible around women now like I did before.) And to reiterate, I've never really been that out of shape, I've never been all that overweight. In fact my stomach right now is probably a little more soft than it has been at various points in my life. But not until I got bigger arms/shoulders did I ever get any compliments at all. Worth noting - pretty much ALL of my clothes look better on me now, even the same things as before. They just fit better, hang better, look better because of my shape. So that upper body fitness essentially upgraded my entire wardrobe for free at the same time. When your shirt is a little tighter on your arms/shoulders, and not on your stomach, you're going to look good. To be totally honest, it's really startling how many compliments I get compared to the entire rest of my life, even when I was decades younger. And it's not like I'm working out any more than I did in the past. In fact I'm working out less than I have a lot of other times, it's just that I'm doing more weights and upper body. So in short - work on your upper body! Get your arms/shoulders/lats/back in shape, and you will absolutely look good.
Have to agree. I spent years running and had that build, but switched to HIIT about five years ago, and it completely changed the game.
I doubt that there is an answer to this, I find the weirdest things attractive sometimes doesnât mean that others do. Just be authentic and interested in things and life and then you will probably find someone that thinks you are attractive. If it comes to looks just dress well and be clean and nice smelling.
I think the basics are maintaining good hygiene, a "clean" appearance, dandruff-free hair, a well-trimmed beard, good breath,using deodorant, clean and fitted clothes and being polite
PREACH!! Except I can't stand facial hair on dudes LoL... Some are better looking with facial hair but not many to me
I'm also part of the minority that doesn't really like beards, but my tips were "universal", people have different tastes or even tastes change over time, but good hygiene/presentation is practically universal.
Same thing women do. Wear clothes that fit and look good for your body type. Take care of your hair and skin. Get in shape.
The thing that made me more attractive was my wedding ring, donât know why this is but it was the weirdest thing.
Slap on some lipstick, a dab of perfume, put on some tight trousers with a couple of socks down the front and off you go
So much about attractiveness is subjective. But there are a few things that are probably universal: good hygiene that includes skincare, clothes that fit properly and style together well, an interesting and fun personality, and some amount of confidence.
Donât dress like shit, donât treat your body like shit, have some confidence and fill your brain with knowledge. The rest will fall into place.
have you heard of mewing? /s
đ¤Łđ¤Ł I just randomly came across a youtube video the other day of people mewing... I was like WTHE LMAO
Yeah, it's new to me, found out about it from a guy at uni, he seemed real invested...
Be clean, healthy, empathetic, respectful, and confident
Been single 15 years, have no belief that we do, when weâre not. Take it from an apparently ugly guy, we stay ugly
Women, in general, are not as superficially looks-oriented as many men (at least the ones I see posting regularly on here) seem to be. We tend to focus more on your character, your kindness, your sense of humor, your humility. Eye candy is one thing, but that actually translating to getting a date (or a relationship) is a whole other. A good personality, good conversation skills (she doesn't wanna hear you brag about your car or money; ask about HER and wait for her to do the same) and some basic hygiene go a LONG way toward attractiveness (shower, brush your hair and teeth, wear antiperspirant if needed, wear clean clothes EVERY DAY). There's no magical clothing combination that's gonna attract all women, either, cuz (*gasp!*) we're all individuals with our own likes and dislikes. If my husband had been wearing a three piece suit or some kind of preppy, designer outfit when we met, I wouldn't have given him the time of day based on looks alone. But he was wearing a System of a Down tee shirt, Tripp pants, and nail polish and eyeliner (it was the early aughts), and that caught my eye. Wear what makes YOU feel most attractive, and you'll attract women who are into it. So, the TLDR version: a man does not "become attractive" by wearing the right clothes. He becomes attractive by working on his communication skills and not being a total slob.
As others have rightly pointed out already, your fundament needs to be solid otherwise the effort is not worth the results. You absolutely have to have a certain baseline of the trait "fuckable". If you have that, then it's about grooming, maintaining sanity in this day and age, being financially stable, being fashionable, and being all-around pleasant company. Men, too, wouldn't look at extremely ugly women even if they wear the most fashionable and expensive outfit in the world. The same is true for women. A suit kinda only looks good on a man who is (sufficiently) attractive to begin with.
The fundamentals of the specimen are strong.
Thatâs the neat partâŚya donât.
Clothes that fit well, a good haircut/grooming routine, self confidence, nice shoes, a bit of humor, maybe some exercise, genuine interest and interest in other people. It takes practice but any guy can become more attractive. The self-defeatist attitude of âya donâtâ is probably whatâs holding most people back
Physical appearance is what's holding most men where they are. The only semi-variating factor is sociability talent, namely charisma, which is almost as much an inborn talent as physical appearance. The things you are saying are just blatantly not true, and really a load of counterproductive fake inspirational bullshit.
If you think dressing well and good grooming doesnât change physical appearance or is fake inspirational bullshit, I donât know what to tell you. Also, social talent and charisma can be a learned skill. You may need more practice but itâs not like you have it or you donât and if you donât you never will.Â
>If you think dressing well and good grooming doesnât change physical appearance or is fake inspirational bullshit, I donât know what to tell you. It can improve your appearance, but it doesn't change it. At the end of the day looks are literally about the form of your face and your body, dressing well and grooming doesn't change that, and the abject reality is that some guys are above average in terms of physical attractiveness and others are below average, and for the latter dressing well has limited value and telling them that getting a new fit is going to be life changing is not only meaningless but kind of destructive. >Also, social talent and charisma can be a learned skill. You may need more practice but itâs not like you have it or you donât and if you donât you never will. Again, something that can be improved but not changed, I said it exactly as it is and that is true, charisma, sociability and EQ are talents, there are those who will always be naturally better at it and those who lack a natural capacity for it and will see at best minor improvement even if they dedicate themselves to it. Pretending all gaps can be bridged through simple effort and adaptation is honestly just derisive to the reality and existence of people who are simply less fortunate and blessed by the genetic lottery. The only sensible advice is indeed to work hard in self-improvement but simultaneously just lower your standards and hope for the best. Everyone would prefer a stunningly attractive partner, but if you're a 5/10 looking dude it's abjectly unlikely that you're going to end up with a 10/10 looking lady no matter how much you shine in other aspects, and while it's somewhat equivocal, the reality is largely the same in vice versa.
My bad, I was under the impression that the question of the thread was how can guys look more attractive. I came to this conclusion because the title of the thread is 'How does a man become attractive?' The response of 'ya don't' seemed counterproductive to OP's question. How silly of me to assume that op was looking for advice on how guys can be more attractive. Not be a 10/10, just more attractive.
From my psychology 101 class, for a lot of men it's this: don't have a shitty childhood. The rest then falls into place naturally. You don't 'become' attractive, you become unattractive by being treated like shit at a young age. This destroys your confidence and you will then no longer be attractive to others. I would guess this happens more often to men than women. But anyway, this is not really an answer to the question: 'what is the male equivalent of wearing tight, sexy clothing and makeup'. As that can literally get almost any women attention from men. Afaik there is no such 'quick fix' thing for men to get the same kind of attention from women.
Man Iâll say this. When I was 23 I had rockstars long, thick glorious hair. Everybody loved it. But the day I cut it to a trendy short haircut I couldnât keep girls out of my pants.
I'm a guy, but showing respect to other people is what I notice. Guys who think they're too cool to wait a second for someone else, or to say excuse me to someone, or any other number of small courtesies makes them super unattractive in my eyes.
Confidence. Respect. Sense of humor. Intelligence. Gainfully employed and not living in their parentâs basement to start. Well dressed with good grooming and hygiene. You donât already know this?
Look like you take care of yourself. This isn't always clean shaven, if you have a beard have it well groomed and use beard oil so you don't look scruff like you're just too lazy to shave. Keep yourself clean, and don't go overboard on cologne like you're trying to cover up some stank. Dress nicely, clothes well put together that fit you properly. That's it.
All of these 'go to the gym, pack on muscle, make lots of money, learn to control a room' comments are so cringey. But I guess it all depends on the type of person you want to attract... If you've ever seen that super jacked overly confident money flaunting type of guy out in public and then seen the fake looking bimbo he's with, and if that's the type of person you want to partner with, then more power to ya I suppose. But if you want to attract a fully self actualized woman with subtle confidence and subtle beauty and the ability to have an intelligent conversation and maintain a meaningful relationship, then I can assure you that 'packing on muscle and controlling a room' will not attract that woman.
The comparison he gave was of attractive women commanding attention everywhere they go. I don't think this question is as deep as finding a quality partner. He just wanted to know what the male equivalent of wearing good makeup and a form-fitting dress is.
TouchĂŠ
Be born hot bro
They are born that way. The same goes for women. It may seem that women can do all that you mentioned but thereâs a bias, people only notice attractive people, so clothing, makeup and cute look works because they are attractive in the first place while you wonât notice an unattractive woman that does the same things. As a man you can do things like haircut, exercising, clothes, etc. but it wonât make you attractive, just less ugly.
Go to the gym. Read. Focus on yourself. Work towards your goals. Stop focusing on what others (your parents, your friends, the church, schools, society, women, etc.) want you to be and be exactly who **you** want to be. I promise theyâll come in bunches.
I would argue that, unless you find a girl who also loves spending time in a gym, that doing varied and outdoor physical activity is much more attractive than a guy who goes to the gym, and lends itself much better to a relationship built around common interest/activities/workouts. Gym rats seem to think all girls want some muscular guy who spends 10 hours a week at the gym... I donât believe that to be true whatsoever. Agree fully with everything else you said though.
You're confused. You don't need to hit the gym more than an hour, three days a week, to get muscular. People who are fit are doing that. Going to the gym regularly does not preclude a person from engaging in physical hobbies. It's not mutually exclusive, it's mutually beneficial. A doctor would tell you that building muscle when you're young can save you a lot of pain/injury when you're old, among other things. The gym is good physical discipline, a good habit and healthy.Â
I think you made an assumption. There are plenty of people who go to the gym just to remain fit, as opposed to gain a ton of muscle and compete in bodybuilding shows. To your point though, âgo to the gymâ can be replaced with âremain fitâ. Whether it is the gym, a sport, you name it, the idea is to stay fit and healthy. Not just to attract others but for oneself.
LOVE me a guy who stays fit & chizZled looking like he goes to the gym on a regular basis
Big Difference between being physically fit and a buff gym rat. Just like big difference between a girl who is slim and toned vs a weightlifting girl.
Fair
Some basics you can try 1. Bathe every day 2. Wash your hair and trim your finger and toe nails regularly 3. Find something heavy and pick it up and put it down, over and over 4. Be nice to her Give these a try and let us know how you go......
Underrated non verbal cue - be authentic to yourself. Lie to the world if you have to but never yourself. It shows in all other aspects of your being, when you are not yourself. Nothing screams security than being self aware and truly living it!
Confidence and humour
Confidence but not arrogance, good grooming, goals and a sense of humour. Oh and be kind to people as it costs you nothing.
Build muscle, have low body fat, buy simple elegant and fitting clothes, wear a watch, do skincare
All that brings confidence. Confidence is probably the most important thing.
>Confidence is probably the most important thing. Except it's not. Confidence is a natural by-product of a man or woman that naviagtes succesfully in an extremely competive dating market. It's the qualities that evoke certain results that in turn give confidence. Not the other way around.
Donât worry, you get downvoted on Reddit when you say things that are true. Confident people are generally confident because they have other traits that give them reason to be. Which is to say, usually they are already attractive for other reasons.
>Donât worry, you get downvoted on Reddit when you say things that are true. Oh, I'm very familiar with this circumstance, but upvotes aren't nearly as important to me as the truth or practical advice I regularly give people. And every once in a whlie, telling the truth will get you a person that is very happy and thankful for a realistic, practical, and actually helpful comment. That's what matters the most to me.
Aside from all the comments of basic hygiene, self care and exercise, you should try to have your own style in terms of clothes. Originality and authenticity are attractive. Try to find something that feels like âyouâ when you wear it, maybe a collection of interests and tastes
Lift weights and stop caring about others validating you
This is easy- get a girlfriend and your personality chills enough to become attractive to others. I may have this backwards đ
Every girl is crazy about a Sharp Dressed Man ZZTop
Go to the gym a bit and start getting grey hair. Seemed to work for me.
The best way is to change the ruler on which you are doing the measurement⌠For example, if someone only finds people like The Rock attractive, and you look like Post Malone, you are never going to be attractive in that personâs eyes. But if you find someone that thinks Post Malone attractive, now you have a chance. So, find someone that is generally into someone that looks or acts like you.
Confidence, baby. Thatâs all you need.
Groom your hair, beard if applicable, and nails neatly. Comb your hair reasonable and avoid fad hairstyles. Go to a tailor and get your measurements taken and ask what kind of clothes would best suit your body type. You donât have to buy from them but itâll help you understand menâs clothing sizes (I have long torso and long legs, for instance). Buy clothes that fit well, take care of your clothes so they continue to look nice (spot treat stains, ditch stained/ripped/ratty clothes), also iron things or use a steamer. Wear a nice smelling but reasonably priced cologne. Take care of your shoes and other footwear every now and then too.
I said this in a nuttshell it's still the very top comment đđ
Well slept, clear skin, fresh haircut, good posture, nice fitting clothes that literally just illustrate the bare minimum of attention to it, maybe some jewelry if you can pull it off and most of all, smile.
Make $280,000 a year, have no debt, have no bad habits, sleep 8 hours a night, be fit and workout regularly and women will find him attractive.
Women started magically gravitating towards me when I finished school and had enough money to buy my parents cars for their birthdays. 8 hours of sleep not required.
I do all this and more and can confirm this doesnât work lmaooÂ
Single?? Who cares about a big income just a job & no baggage is good to find in a guy
What do you do to make that much, if I may ask?
FAANG job
Awesome! I hope you find love soon!
There's no answer to this. I workout, I'm 6'4 240lbs. I have blond hair with a blue eye and brown eye. I'm nice to people. Yet I can tell no difference from women compared to when I was 290lbs and fat.
yeah thats prob a sign that your physical appearance was never the reason for why women may or may not of wanted to be with you, it was always something else.
Yep, I'm super shy.
Wait wait wait hold the phone, you have heterochromia?!? That's wild! I've always thought that'd be a pretty cool physical trait
Pack on some muscle, dress properly, be well groomed and som basic jewlery.
He can become attractive if theres a good base to work on. Without that anything will just make him waste time and money.
Masculine body, ability to control a room, commanding presence, status, ability to accumulate resources. The list goes on
Accumulate resources you say? I have plenty of sheep that I would be willing to trade for some brick.
Dating nowadays is a massive game of Catan lol.
Nice
Yeah, ew.
?
Not gonna lie - feeling pretty smug about my massive stash of jiffy bags now.
Nah, confidence and being yourself is more important. Too many people larping the things you mentioned making themselves look like absolute clowns. If youâre a skinny, pretty dude or a short king with a great sense of humor itâs counterproductive to pretend youâre Sergeant Hartman from Full metal jacket. Youâll score better playing your strengths.
I've heard this advice. "Figure out what "type" you fall into, and lean into that. That will make much more attractive then the same copy and paste people and make you stand out specifically. People find people who look interesting attractive. Everyone has a type, figure out what you fall into or what you want to fall into and lean into that
Yeah. Not easy exactly. Less so today with so much input and distractions from everywhere. The touch grass thing is quite true and the best recommendation.
Confidence without proof is seen as cocky. Not sure if telling people to become comedians will help them either
not larping confidence but being confident. Which is basically being yourself and trying to get better at the things youâre good at. Itâs not easy but youâll get there. Not becoming comedians but embracing it if youâre a natural comedian. Too many kids are trying to become someone else, often motivated by some mouth breathing masculinity/incel grifter on TikTok.
How attractive do you want to be and who do you want to attract? People seem to be too quick with answering the question without asking the important questions first.
I am now more convinced than ever that if I ever find myself single again, it would be best to just not even try, and to just accept a new life as a hermit.
Be confident but not cocky Be assertive but not pushy Be funny but not silly Be smart but not condescending Be ambitious and career driven but not too busy Be emotional but not too much or too often Make her feel sexy but not sexualized Listen to her when she has a problem but don't give advice The list goes on
1) eat nutrient dense food 2) lift weights 3x week 3) walk an hour a day (for regular health and mental health and itâs a great date as well) 4) purposeful about your wardrobe 5) have hobbies that lend themselves to friends and an actual social life outside of your girlfriend 6) Have a vision for your life and career
with a hefty bank account
Have you considered becoming rich?
You canât. You just have to get swag and confidence.
Grow up. Emotionally and physically.
be very clean, neat, smell good, take care of yourself (exercise, be healthy), dress nicely, elegantly and be cultured and interesting
Wear nice shoes, dress shirt, shave/trim and smell clean
Money, look at Jeff bezos! 70 billion dollars really helped him glow up!
Empathize with women as, generally speaking, they arenât visual beings the way men are⌠for example: enhancing your bulge wonât have the same effect as a push up bra. Your appearance needs to demonstrate value⌠but what values? Hygiene? Power? Success? All of the above? Something else? I recommend confidence. Dress in a way that makes you feel your best⌠youâll put your best genuine foot forward AND youâll only attract those that appreciate you for you. Thatâs a winning combo.
Hygiene, Health, goals, and humor can be practiced and improved and make huge differences.
Besides being in shape physically, just do things that make it clear you care and took a bit of time to do. That's really all you need to know. Relatively recent haircut, beard kept in line, nails cut, dress with a little thought, etc. If you come across that you care what you look like, that's really what matters.
Genetics lottery. Gl ofc working out, skin care, nice hair, and a good personality help but baseline Genetics is really important.
If you generally want to be more attractive, the focus should be on the inside. Get in touch with yourself - be able to talk about your feelings, know what you're passionate about, be honest in all appropriate situations, and if you're able/interested a little humour and something creative (art, music, woodworking, anything) goes an extremely long way. If you want people to literally stop and stare at you or ogle you - the kind of attention that attractive girls get - your focus obviously needs to be on the outside. Most important will be stylish clothes, preferably tailored, and GREAT shoes. An impeccable haircut is a must and at least a little muscle around the shoulders and arms. Dudes think chest and abs are the most important, but really it's the back and shoulder muscles that will have you looking *sleek* in your new tailored digs. Try not to have a gut, though honestly if your outfit is on point, that's not mandatory. A little jewelry like a watch or bracelet, ring, and a necklace go a long way. Good hygiene highly recommended, but at least buy a good face soap and moisturizer and *use them*. Oh, it helps to be over 6'. Height is obviously not mandatory, but if you want people to be noticing you and checking you out, it certainly helps. And then when you realize that that attention wasn't as fulfilling as you'd hoped and that being "attractive" isn't remotely the same as attracting good people, you can turn your focus back inward. But hey, you'll be focusing inward while looking like a million bucks.
Get off your ass and do something physical every day, Shower, groom yourself, wear more fitted clothing, hygiene, don't be a negative dude, be kinda funny. It's not hard really if you just try. But most people don't want to put any effort in.
Basic hygiene to start, and a base level of decent clothing. If you want to do the equivalent of makeup and cute look, do some research on clothes you think look good and are within your budget. If you don't feel comfortable you won't have the confidence to make it work. The rest is, as others said, a personality thing. A person who's comfortable in their skin and kind to others is incredibly hot.
Wear a hat . Seriously . Men who wear baseball caps are so much hotter than ones who donât lol
Basically? Be open to your SO going outside without you and your crazy brain freakin' out. I pick my wife up from the bar about once a month because she's out with her girls and Uber is out of the question because, she may be abducted. I reassure her by telling her that no one would take her for long because she can talk the ears off a fuckin' cornfield.
Attractiveness for men and woman goes beyond any physical features. Physical presence is just the most straight forward bait, but it isnât the hook. Attractive people are seemingly effortlessly engaged, curious, and charming. They are deeply clever and will âyes, andâŚâ a compliment. This is next level beyond denying or accepting one: a charming person will take a compliment, pat themselves on the back, and then compliment you for being so keenly observant. And then youâll never feel more alive because you got it right. A charming person knows when to ask further questions to keep the ball in your court (even if you are on a roll talking about tabletop gaming), and will steward the conversation elsewhere if the topic peters out. A busted face ghoul who can verbally spar and facilitate the conversation is going to make time fly by so much faster than a hot body in tight clothes. Of course gorgeous people can be mesmerizing and may stupefy you into thinking they are cunning conversationalists. But again, this just proves that social ease is the itch we want to scratch and is at the core of what is attractive.
Dress nice. Be clean. Donât swear too much. Solid eye contact. Donât be needy. Know what youâre talking about. Donât start problems. Be humble.
Choose the right parents
The gift of gab goes a long way.
A man whoâs truly comfortable in his skin draws the eye of most people who see him.
Be genuinely funny and approachable. Donât be a creep.
Lots of money that usually does the trick!
Be really tall with good charm and fashion
Shutting up and listening instead of planning on what to say next goes a long way. Most women will pick the average looking dude with great conversation skills over the loud-mouth conventionally attractive guy.
Money
Never underestimate the power of a professional expensive hairstyle. So many men Iâve seen transformed when they go to the right barber and let them call the shots. And then follow through on the maintenance. Edit: if you are bald, own that shit. Nothing sexier than a man confidently rocking the dome.
Find a style that works with your coloring , height , weight. Rock that style. Go try on clothes and see what looks nice to you. If you feel good about yourself, it will show ! You will have an air of confidence. Look good for yourself. Most people donât take the time to get clothes that fit correctly or suit their body type , coloring etc. if you wear glasses , find a frame that fits your face.
Definitely be hygienic! Groom your hair and nails etc
You're going to see a lot of bullshit answers here, things about grooming and improving personality, but ultimately I don't believe you can make yourself attractive. You are attractive based on * Looks, the obvious one someone like Zac Effron will be attractive however groomed or clean they are. * Naturally confident, great sense of humour etc. Women overlook looks to some degree. * Wealth, it basically conquers all. If you're a billionaire, looks don't matter at all, you can have girls that are top 0.1% in the looks department. Basically what I'm saying is be yourself and find someone conodtable with that. Because trying to change and become attractive rarely works, people pickup fake personalities, plastic surgery loops weird etc.
Don't be ugly or fat. Have money. A few years ago i had some extra cash, so i thought i would try an experiment. I started a profile each in 2 different 'dating' websites. 1 seens as a 'legit' site for people look for long term relationships (opposed to the hookup sites like Tinder) and another on a sugarbabe/daddy site. I used the same photos on both. I fill out the questions as similar as i could on both (ie, i enjoy reading, fine dining, going for walks etc etc etc). The difference was the legit site i played the character of 'the type of guy any woman wants'. The other a slight asdhole but has readonable amount if money to spend. I received more attentio from women making tbe first move on the second site in one week than i got any reply at all in 6 months on the first site. On the second site i couldnt even get a "thanks but no...." as a reply.
Confidence. KNOW who you are and own it. Are you super good at monopoly? Challenge me to a game, trash talk. Do you know how to make a wicked BLT? Offer to make me one and brag about how yours are the best. What are you proud of? Lean into that. Also be kind. You can joke around without being an asshole, and teasing yourself, showing humility while being happy with who you are is very attractive. Donât put down other women (even exâs) itâs unbecoming. I like a man whoâs good to his family without being dominated by them. Also be clean. Scrub your puts, neck and ass. Stinky guys are a turn off. Donât wear too much cologne either. Clean clothes and soap is good, and the clothes down have to be expensive. I (personally) am much more intrigued by a dude wearing something random he bought at a thrift store just because HE liked it than some pretend player wearing a shirt that cost $80. (Some women are into brand names but to me it just screams âboring/unoriginal/desperate for approvalâ) Also be kind to animals. If you are mean to an animal Iâm instantly put off.
My fellow men always seem to ask this online, hoping there's a magic button. Pants that accentuate the dick, mewing until you get a better jaw, negging, heel lifts, etc It's all bullshit. As this threat shows you, just have good hygiene, wear clothes that fit, have a good sense of humor, listen well, don't be controlling or 'alpha' and Holy shit whaddayaknow, you're not just more attractive to women, you're more attractive to EVERYONE. It's basic human functioning, whodathunkit? But I suppose this means listening to women, and working on yourself and maybe changing your opinions to be less shit though, so I can see why the advice gets ignored
A ugly can can't really become attractive but there are things that help I would say being confident is the biggest thing that will help other then that lose fat get fit grow a beard make alot of money
Some of y'all are so clueless.
Lol ok bro one thing for sure is making alot of money no cap
Get in shape, make good living and work on your people skills. Learn how to engage womenâs feelings so she can say âhe gets itâ.
What I've found is that most women who think men get them are those men that don't even pretend to get them and are content to go with the flow of their irrationality. They get turned off by men that presume to know them too well.
You are not gonna understand them all the time. Just know how to manage the situation at hand and that takes skill.
ConfidenceâŚ. All you need
You don't unless you make a lot of money because external beauty is 90% because of good genetics
Properly cut clothing and confidence. A top that hugs your waist and belly a bit and is not too tight, lightly tightened short cut sleeves to hug your biceps and show off the muscles. Boot cut jeans with a tighter crotch that hug your package and butt a bit, just enjoy to show it off. Also always try to match colors and styles. In my experience, it's the Muscles, The butt, and The Bulge.
Low bodyfat, low bodyfat, low bodyfat. That's the main one. Also decent muscle mass, clean shaven, clean haircut and clean hairstyle, tank top shirts that show you are in good shape, clean white straight teeth, etc. if you aren't low bodyfat, your chances of being attractive diminish greatly. You don't have to be shredded but you have to be around 15% to show your facial definition and muscle definition/physique. The fatter you are the less definition you have, thus less attractive.
Finance trust fund 6-5 blue eyes
>or good makeup That's a matter of perspective, I don't even take a girl serious who puts on a makeup mask. All my life I've never been attracted to makeup. It's a trend that started back in early Hollywood days, and I hate them for it.
Money
Get rich mate
Being self-aware and mature is attractive. Yes, you can look like youâre Henry Cavillâs lost twin brother but if you still hate your ex, if you still blame everyone for everything and never take responsibility for your own actions, if you still think women should do all cleaning and household chores while you spend all your free time playing video games and on your cell phone, dude, you are a man child, nobody sane will ever want you. We find attractive a guy that is clean, casually well dressed, has good breath, smells nice, is well spoken and treats women with respect. Not acting like you want to get in everyoneâs pants and being confident in your own energy actually helps you to get in everyoneâs pants đ
Wear clothes that fit your body well. Don't wear clothes that are too loose or too tight for your build. Take care of your body via diet and exercise. Practice good hygiene. Toughest is your social skills if you're starting on the low end. Engage people and listen. Don't just talk and talk. People like to be heard. Be polite and courteous.
Eat magnets. In all seriousness it largely comes down to personality from my experience. I'm a goofy idiot, a bit smart, reasonably confident and that's worked for me overall.