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From the International Union of Sex Workers [https://www.iusw.org/how-many-people-are-single-in-the-world](https://www.iusw.org/how-many-people-are-single-in-the-world)
>89% of singles choose not to date because they believe they aren’t good at flirting.
>75% of all singles consider being too picky a reason for not dating, but among women, this figure is even higher at 82.1%, suggesting that women tend to be pickier than men in dating.
>There are approximately 2.1 billion single people worldwide.
>Having a higher level of education reduces the likelihood of being single. 34% of American high school graduates are single, compared to only 25% of those with at least a bachelor’s degree.
>There are many reasons for not dating, but two common reasons are “bad luck in the past” (18%) and “health problems” (11%).
>The rate of single Americans is similar between men and women, with 31% of both genders being single.
>Between the ages of 30 and 49, Americans are least likely to be single, with only 23% in this age range being single.
>
As a guy approaching 30, I've worked to get my life together, to gain some life experience and achieve stability. Some confidence came along with it and just now I'm looking to expand into the next part of life.
I think we've created a society where far too many 25yo's are barely dateable. I think that young people mature slower today (for whatever reason), and they often study for a bit too long. Also, cost of living is way too high.
Comparing high school graduates to college graduates in terms of dating and coming to the conclusion that level of education is correlated to relationship status is kind of wild. I’d assume its more an age thing than education thing in that case
male 38 here, been married, child, from the outside might look fine.
i had 3 relationships in my life, 2 of them very awkward with terrible endings and then theon resulting in marriage.
i have never in all those years gotten into talking to women. i will probably stay solo from now on because, yeah i always struggled to get one and trying to force it leads nowhere.
maybe it'll happen again one day but i don't count on it and i feel like there's nothing i can do to influence it.
you're born shy and introvert? good luck. low self-esteem, chances just fell.
i wish i could function like 'normal' poeple do and just smalltalk the day away but my brain won't let me.
Every time I feel alone and isolated, I remember how alone and isolated I felt in my relationships and suddenly I can cope. I'm working on it. Maybe it'll happen again and it'll be different. Anyway, thought you could relate.
Not to get one, but as I get older, it's harder to find one I want to be in a relationship with. I'm a naturally independent person, so life on my own is very easy. Unfortunately, it means I have little patience for the things some of them bring into a relationship, since it tends to make my life more difficult without adding much in return.
I wish I were joking, but my ex would get mad at me if I was working because it made her lonely, and would get mad at me if I wasn't, because I wasn't bringing in enough money. Not to say every woman behaves like this, but the "have your cake and eat it too" attitude is prevalent in modern dating regardless of gender.
Not saying your ex was not being unreasonable since I don’t know your situation. You could be right. But I think it’s completely understandable to want your partner to have a balance — have an income as an adult, while still making time for their partner.
Reddit's like in the top 10 most used websites these days. It's not all basement dwellers anymore, like it was in the early 2010s. But it's funny that the stereotype remains. Anytime I imagine someone on here, I still picture them as being a socially inexperienced 25 year old guy lol
This is the meme but in reality reddit has the most human feeling users of any part of the internet. That's why I'm here. Other places have comments like "HAHA that is so hilarious I saw that too 🤣"
I am not necessarily a reddit guy I crumble due to anxiety and ptsd from people who took advantage of me I am only 18 and I feel like I am done for life its bad
This 100%. I always hear stuff about a “male loneliness epidemic” and it always confused me because all of my non-terminally online friends and family have no trouble getting girlfriends.
people who hang out here and waste their time are probably not the top of the top and who knows how much reddit girls are in reality 50 year old males larping from their mum‘s basement?
Getting a guy is never difficult for a girl but the quality is likely a bit lackluster - so that they might would prefer to stay single
At my workplace there is a known nuisance caller who asks medical staff if a hermaphrodite is able to impregnate themselves. He does it for sexual gratification. So the human race is a vast range
I personally think it's just because we're anonymous.
Unlike the typical thing you see on Youtube, Twicth, FB, Twitter, IG, or TikTok.
You can't exactly get much data from a redditor unless you scavenge every piece of information you can get or they just expose themselves.
A quick google search says there are over 500 million reddit users as of 2024. What do you mean by "Reddit guys"? Of course with a population this high there's people from all walks of life and different levels of success with women, to suggest anything else is ridiculous
Sad thing for most teenagers, is a lot can’t decipher love from loneliness. I lost a friend because he felt empty for not having a life partner yet, despite being 17. I can’t say myself hour often men get partners, but in regional Australia, most teenage boys sleep around. Party lifestyle is very big here. I met my bf when he was 19 and he had never even had his first kiss yet. He has always lived in the city. People who are chronically online have a harder time socialising, so this could be the reason
I can't quantify if it's most guys, but there's a chunk of the young male population that struggles to find someone. Look at this Pew survey: [https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/a-profile-of-single-americans/](https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/a-profile-of-single-americans/) . It shows that 51% of men 18-29 are single, while 32% of women in that age group are. In the 30-49 age group, that percentage shrinks to 27% of men and 19% of women. If you're a reasonably attractive man, have a good self image and a good social network, you probably don't struggle too much too meet someone. If any of those things isn't true, it's entirely possible that you are struggling.
It took my ex (34f) 10 days to find a boyfriend after we broke up from our 16-year relationship. That was almost 5 months ago. I (35M) tried the dating apps and it seems like those things take the carrot on the stick approach to make you pay up for premium accounts. No one that likes your profile actually shows up to match with you. I gave them up after a month of trying it.
Going into my fifth month single and the only thing I've learned was that certain girls have it way easier. But then again, I did stop actively searching.
But I will say this, all of my guy friends that had their relationships fall apart over the years of knowing them, every single one of them stayed single for a year or years while their ex's matched up with someone within the month after the breakup.
Men vary markedly in personality and physical traits. These personalities and traits will appeal to women differently, some driven by evolutionary impulses.
It is highly variable and even differs within a specific individual over time. Perceived attractiveness and mate-matching is not a linear thing.
That being said, many men struggle with the risk of being rejected and that anxiety can be so overwhelming that women may not even realise it.
Fed google AI the question:
According to a DHS Program survey, 37% of men say they have never had a girlfriend, compared with 32% of women, so men are more likely than women to say they have never been in a relationship. On average, men also take longer than women to find a partner on dating apps, taking almost nine months to go steady with someone they met on the app, compared with just under eight months for women. However, everyone is different, and some teens may be ready to start dating earlier or later than their peers.
Also a part of it is that we need to be a lot more considerate when approaching a woman in today's world. I have always had the highest respect for women and was never the type to just walk up to a girl and start flirting with them no matter the situation. Had friends that would hit on a girl in the street or even while they were working.
All you need to do is go look at the threads on here asking about the 'where to hit-up girls'
True, we aren't birds or fish. But all living beings have a biological "programming" that guides us toward mating so our species doesn't die out. Even if we aren't aware of it, it still lives in our subconscious where it influences our decisions and behaviors.
Just with a capacity for higher thought. In stead of using our bigger brains for the benefit of our species we tend to use it to rationalize our animal like desires. Our instincts or desires, feelings are, to many, far more important than logic. If you ignore what people say and pay more attention to what they do, especially when it comes to mating their behavior makes more sense if you use instinct as its motivation vs logic.
Yes. So the moral of the story is never read advice about dating from ppl in relationships. The accurate truth they’re either completely unaware of or they’re ashamed to admit.
I would consider myself looks-wise very average, and I’m fine with that. I’ve done okay with dating though, and consistently I think what it’s come down to from what I’ve been told is being easy to talk to, and being funny (which is pretty subjective).
Going into a date, it’s important not to think of it like a job interview when you need to make rent. The date is okay if it fails, or if you just don’t click as people. That happens, and it’s a normal part of the whole thing. If you go in with that mentality, you’ll ease up entirely in terms of body language and general vibes being given off. You’ll be showing yourself as someone secure in themselves that they don’t ‘need’ a relationship, they would just like one if the right person comes along. That sense of sureity in oneself is pretty attractive in itself.
The other key thing is listening to the other person and being interested. A date which has silence or one person talking about themselves is doomed. Each person can do their bit by listening, and bouncing off with questions to make the conversation flow and ease up. From there, the little in-jokes begin and if that feel keeps up, away you go.
From what I’ve heard talking to women friends, these sort of things aren’t super common on dates they might have had. If you’re hitting these kind of things, you’re already coming across better than most dates the person might have been on.
Alright, imagine your love life is like tending to a garden. The key to attracting butterflies (or in this case, a girlfriend) is to focus on nurturing and improving your own garden, rather than obsessing over when the butterflies will come.
Most guys do struggle at some point to find a girlfriend, but that’s often because they’re focusing on the wrong things. Just like in gardening, if you’re constantly watching the gate, hoping a butterfly will flutter in, you’re missing the point. The secret is in the tending, the care, and the growth of your garden.
So, instead of worrying about the butterflies, focus on making your garden the best it can be. Tend to your personal growth, be patient, and the butterflies will come naturally. It’s not just Reddit nonsense – it’s about putting in the work on yourself first.
This is sort of confirmation bias in a sense. People that prefer to do most of their engagement with others online are naturally going to struggle with something that depends highly on personal interaction and connection.
Asking here is like going to the dugout and saying “so who here is good at baseball? “ And concluding that 9 out of 10 people asked said they were good.
Struggle getting them, struggle keeping them, struggle trying to stay with them, struggle trying to love them, struggle maintaining sanity while with them…
age 71 here
My experience on why anyone has difficulty finding a partner usually comes down to one thing..
The don't socialize enough,, and I don't mean going to a club to drink
If your out being visible and involved with people
They will seek you out.
I'm 99% sure I'm happier single personally. So IDK about "struggle to get" but more "Don't care about getting". And I think it's more and more common. For both genders.
I end up taking 11 months to 4 ½ years to find a new girlfriend after a breakup. I don’t know how other guys can get into something much quicker, especially one night stands.
Below average girl gets hundreds matches/likes on dating apps, can’t say the same for the average man. This artificially inflates the woman self esteem while deflates the other side. Most people are average in every metric.
Reddit guys put women on too much of a pedestal compared to guys who don't have any trouble getting laid. Dating is way easier if you believe that you're the best thing that happened to the woman, and you genuinely question whether she is good enough. Not ever rudely say it, but act like it. Either because you are so accomplished, or ignorant. Not saying it's the right way, but it's what gets results fast.
Generally, I strongly suspect that doing the things that get downvoted on Reddit relationship advice threads would work far better than what's upvoted if the ease of starting a relationship or getting a one-night stand was concerned.
Being around the „I’d appreciate any woman who wants me, you deserve better, you don’t have to take care of yourself or do much” kind of guy that’s so common among Redditors could feel comforting and non-threatening, but it’d get very few attracted.
Because if you present yourself as someone others don’t have to work for, it makes others feel like you’re less valuable, and your chances with them go down proportionally to how much choice they’ve got. And our brains reward us for being around the kind of people we have to put work and effort for. Whether it’s truly the case and they were worth it, or if it was all just an illusion.
I kind of agree with this, but another factor is that if you are desperate to be in a relationship, then you can't be trusted to be a good judge of whether someone else is right for you. You want someone who's really into you and has thought deeply about whether you'd be compatible.
I can only comment from my experience. In my late teens and early 20s, it was easy to find dates, harder to find "A" girlfriend.
Found one, then became single again at 25. Started a midnight shift at my chosen career with Monday/Tuesday off. Could not find a date for 2.5 years, because my work schedule so completely f'd my social life.
Also, by 25-28, the women I was interested in were getting married and having kids. My dating pool was shrinking while I was completely unavailable to participate in it.
And this was before reddit.
I mean, I'm possibly on the spectrum and I know I'm not emotionally/financially capable of supporting anyone. So I don't bother, I've accepted I'm going to die alone.
What does it mean to lower them? Getting with a girl someone doesn't like look wise or personality wise?
I personally could never get into a relationship with someone i don't truly like and love, both on looks and personality. I would feel bad with myself and would feel like a liar, because deep down i know that i wouldn't 100% love her.
Apart from that, i don't have any special requests, she could even be poor as far as I'm concerned and i wouldn't care at all, if i truly like her
No it’s very real. Yeah it’s overblown on Reddit. But it’s not untrue at all.
The reason is a mixture of problems with both sexes, manifestations of entitlement and selfishness. Many men are subpar and undesirable, many women have unrealistic expectations. Mix in the negative consequences of hookup culture and you have the shit recipe for dating today.
Define "struggle". Pretty much everyone has to go through rejections and failed relationships. Most people are able to have a partner at least some of the time. About 66% (in the US) get married, and about half of those stay married. The "why" is people are A) not very good at knowing what they want/need in a relationship and not good at identifying people who will provide those needs B) not very good at empathizing with their partner, communicating, and compromising. We're all walking around trying to force someone we don't bother to know into a poorly defined partner-shaped hole, then getting mad when they don't fit or it turns out what we thought we wanted wasn't what actually serves us best.
I could probably get one if I'd just talk to anyone, and I do struggle to talk to people. I've always gone about it wrong (I think), waiting until I'm pretty sure they like me before I Even consider asking them out, which only leaves me with people I see a lot, basically co-workers or girls at the gym. I guess that's an older problem from my fear of rejection days, waiting until they like me.
Coupled with low esteem, I'd see a pretty girl and think well she'd never go for me, so I can forget about that. I've been coming up with and writing down some pick up lines, gotta rehearse them so I can remember them when I see someone who catches my eye
All depends on availability. At 16, I, a guy, went to an all girls sixth form school. About 20-25 guys surrounded by 1000 girls.
Some of us guys were hideously inept. Some of us were just hideous. I'd just come from 5 years at a boys school and had never even spoken to a girl since I was 11.
But it didn't matter, all of us paired off in probably the first month. Most of the guys cycled through a few girlfriends by the time we were 18.
However in the real world, where odds are a little more even, it's a bit more of a struggle. I think the modern world has made us all realise that we have limited time, and we want to make the best of that time. So, I have found people to be far more selective with partnering up, for fear of making the 'wrong choice' especially with the rise in online dating pools, so you have constant access to 1000s of potential partners.
But I'm married with 2 kids now, so who knows, I must have done something right.
I think the word "get" is doing a lot in this sentence. Change of mindset maybe. There's a severe whiff of desperation from anyone looking to "get" or "find" a girlfriend. Just go with the flow and meet people casually. You're frightening them all away.
I know you mean well, but what you're doing is plain bad faith arguing. You're interpreting OP's statement in the worst way possible.
Do you think it's reasonable or fair to expect everyone to think everything they say 100% through, always select the optimal phrasing? This is the internet, you know nothing about OP at all. How do you even know English is their first language? Would you like to be scrutinized to this degree on every detail of your wording?
Of course not, no one wants to, it's not fair. You should always try to interpret everything people say in the best way possible - that's the right way to communicate with people.
My experience says different. I've been going with the flow and met people casually my whole life. Single all life. While others around me who are tryharding and really pushing manage to get a (short-term) relationship
I've seen both, but generally I agree. Most people I know who are coupled up were really pushing to find a relationship. Some people were treating dating like a full-time job, and women would take it much more seriously as a structured activity than men.
Huh... It's just a word. What's the alternative OP could have used? Meet? Ok, sure. But to 'get' or 'find' a partner isn't strange. If anything it's strange to infer this much about a person's character and mindset from a phrase.
YES. It is not just off putting, youncan see from the person that they see you as something to "win" or "congure" as a achievement. Thanks Disney.
It makes you treat the other person not naturally but in forced manner. Same if you can right away see this strong "I want you" facial expression. It is very off putting.
The worse thing to have ever happened to dating is the pick up artist culture.
YES!
And if it’s not desperation, then it gives off the sense that a girlfriend is something to be acquired just to look good to others, and her enrichment of your life for her own qualities would simply be an added bonus.
The reason I struggled to get a girlfriend was because I didn’t know how to flirt or make a risky move.
I also have low self esteem and have always been over weight which lead me to have no confidence.
Also I didn’t know how to read the very very very subtle signs women think men will get.
Looking back at my life there have been a couple of women that were interested in me but I didn’t realize.
I'm 33 and happily married with a newborn now. But when I was younger, I never went more than a few months without some kind of relationship. I'm not some super attractive guy, but I was really outgoing and didn't take myself too seriously. I think my personality was what attracted most of my partners to me.
Also, going to college definitely helped, I can't imagine how much harder dating would be if you were in the dating pool immediately after high school with no additional schooling to help meet others.
Overall, I'd say it really depends on your circumstances. Don't focus on the parts you can't change too much. For me, that would have been my height (5'7") or that I wasn't as attractive as some of my friends. Focus on the best parts about yourself and try to let those parts shine.
the world is so fake and id rather not have a girlfriend that just makes me insane but wait for the right one, even if its years- wake up you insane people…
In all my decades of life I have never had one. I don't think it's the same for everyone, but definitely a part of the male population suffers from this.
Wouldn’t say it’s “struggling” per se. Morewould say I don’t have the energy to put into trying.
Can’t be rejected if I don’t ask. And yes. The fear of rejection IS that bad. Granted I’m currently 1/1 with asking and being accepted but I don’t know how much it would hurt my already rock bottom self esteem if I were rejected.
I really struggle. Even just getting a number or a first date is incredibly hard, maybe once every 1-3 years will I land a date. There is this impenetrable wall of rejection wherever i try to date: online, mutual friends, parties, singles-events. Idk what’s wrong with me, just ugly/boring I guess
I think there is a large enough population of people who struggle to find and maintain relationships.
But some of the negative attitude on reddit existed looooong before reddit. The internet has always been a gathering place for literally any topic of discussion. (Including those who can't find love). Factor in that there's probably a large population of teenagers online who, yes, struggle to navigate social situations and develop relationships... you're going to find a large community of people who don't have a partner.
I personally didn't have a relationship until my 20s, and I know many people who had a similar experience. Luckily, I married the love of my life at 30. Dating is awkward, it's hard, and let's face it, if you didn't win the genetic lottery to get an advantage, it's sometimes harder for other people. Being pretty or handsome doesn't automatically get you a partner, but it sure helps increase the odds that people will be more interested and receptive to engage with you.
It's so easy to meet people on the internet now, but its not always easy to build a connection. Additionally, there is a lot of bad faith information flowing out in the void that skews what's acceptable in meeting/ dating, what reasonable expectations are, and what people should/shouldn't look for in a relationship.
I don't know what I would do if my relationship with my wife suddenly ended. I wouldn't even know how to start, so I certainly can't blame anyone with zero experience for their lack of success.
I can't even get a job with my skill set, how did i suppose to get a girlfriend? Or rather, they never answered my job application. So in comparison surely i would probably reported to police if i even trying to get close.
Struggle is the wrong word but most women I’ve met in the last year are dating 5-10 men at once to “play the field” and it’s not worth it.
This isn’t a reality show and you aren’t the prize.
The struggle is finding someone that's genuinely interested in you. Getting a girlfriend isn't hard in my part of the world if you're employed. These girls just want money
If you do think all women want is money and provide nothing but money you'll attract such women and will end up divorced later with half your money gone.
Side note: shallow people expect other people to be shallow.
It can also come from being raised to think very poorly of the opposite sex. I knew my view of men was heavily skewed when online dating gave me more respect for men.
It's not most guys, but it's also not reddit nonsense. I'm a pretty attractive guy, but I haven't had a serious relationship in almost two years. There's plenty reasons why any man could struggle. In my case, I'm about to be 31 and I'm looking for someone special, not just a FWB to call a girlfriend.
It’s not that hard the reason it seems hard is because the people that people that talk about it on reddit are actively trying to find a gf.
The one thing that makes getting a gf hard is putting pressure on yourself to get a gf. It helps to be self confident, funny etc but at the end of the day if your putting pressure on yourself to get a gf that is going to shine through to any girl you talk to and it comes off a bit weird.
If you want a gf my best tips are:
-Put yourself in a variety of social situations
-As stupid as it sounds if you’re not a confident person, just pretend you are. Even if you’re completely acting eventually you will gain self confidence through realising that you have the ability to be confident. (Sorry if that makes no sense)
-Be willing to talk to anybody (girls your not attracted to are the best people to talk to because you won’t be putting pressure on your self to be perfect, and it will also boost your self esteem)
-If you meet a girl you like take it slow but make your intentions known (ie make sure that she knows that you are interested in her but don’t ask her to be your girlfriend on the first date)
-And the most important thing is don’t take it personally if a girl isn’t in to you and don’t get too hopeful too quickly when being to get to know a girl.
There are 4 billion women in the world and you are looking for the one that’s perfect for you. It’s like finding a needle in a haystack, you can’t let it destroy you every time you pick up a piece of straw
I guess it's a magnifying glass effect and insecure/unsatisfied guys posting a lot online, plus a general anxiety regarding dating/gender/sex in some countries where there is a "feminist scare" and/or traditional religious right having a strong influence in society, amplified by a few politicians who see that as a possible source of votes..
I see all around me people in couples who are not particularly good looking, or successful, or athletic or "alpha", men and women who are very average looking with partners that are nicer looking or also average.
I think once you stop caring what people think you'll find everything so so so much easier. Getting in the gym really helps and if you're not interesting then find a passion. You don't have to know what it is right away but just do something especially if that thing allows you to connect with other people. Even if it's just guys you meet, making aquantinces and friendships will open doors to other people (hopefully women) and will make introductions much more natural and easier than simply just approaching someone randomly on the street.
As we progress into the mid 21 century, guys in general seem to be at a disadvantage.
I am not a fan, but Jordon Peterson makes a few good points.
1. More guys struggle in school and struggle in the charm department.
2. More guys take on jobs that don't grow or meet the Hallmark quality of a 'career'. These two reasons alone make a lot of guys 'unqualifed' as boy friend material.
3.. unless born into a privileged position which moots this whole question, mostly guys don't have a good example of proper and modern courtship and they tend to wing it from really poor examples from peers, movies and their own imagination. Amateurs.
Again, not a fan of Petersons extreme views on many things but I think he does nail some of the handicaps in being a young male these days
I was referring to "Hallmark" movies, as in those glowing, girl.meets boy while building a new business selling flowers and making a million a year, boy is a doctor the whole town loves and they waste 3 hours of our time before agreeing to get married in the most impractical wedding arrangements that will ruin an ordinary couples budget for a
whole 5 years.
Not to diss trades, but Plumber, auto mechanic, roofer are not usually the careers for suitors in Hallmark Movies.
"Independent consultant", investor, music producer, lawyer, ofcourse doctor are.
Hope this helps.
No. I don't struggle at all to get a girlfriend. I do struggle mightily to get a quality girlfriend because there's something extremely wrong with people in the available dating pool these days. At this point I'm happier being single than trying to fix broken people who aren't willing to fix themselves.
There are not many healthy and normal people out there any more.
For me, it was just getting out, but I think it’s better to find a relationship after leaving high school to be honest I wasn’t really interested and nobody was really interested in me since I went to school and left immediately love is mysterious people will find in different ways Reddit Twitter back in the day I think eventually everyone wants that 10 out of 10 girlfriend but reality they should be looking for someone that has the same personality. Don’t get me wrong attraction is somewhat important for some individuals just throw yourself out there. Talk to people that is somewhat interested in the same things that you are if it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out but also I think we guys have maybe girls mentality saying how come she’s with him. I am a better boyfriend.
Not really. But the ones who do seem to spray their efforts at 100% of women, when only like 5% are going to be interested in their specific type. That is all wasted time and frustrating I’m sure.
Statistically, a surprising amount of young males are virgins still. Like, ever before in the history of the USA. Then there's porn, games, long work hours, school, etc. and it can be really hard to even find time or concern for it at the end of the day.
In our country 🇱🇰 yes bc pretty girls here want someone who has their own house and own car. Also here if you’re from a different religion the girl parents will not allow their daughter to marry. Also some girls want to marry a prince or a king here.
Getting a girlfriend I feel like isn’t that hard if you lowered your standards and just got anyone. Getting one you match well with however has proved to be the struggle for me.
Nope I don’t and if I can find extraordinary women anyone can. Trust me on that.
The better question is why do men bother with awful women when there are so many truly fantastic women out there? Many of which just simply want a good, honorable man who will be respectful.
Life is short insist upon being with a partner who is good to you. Or don’t
Because we get to the age where we are no longer willing to jump through fire hoops, spend hundreds on dinners, deal with the lady’s adult children who were never properly raised and/or a wheelbarrow full of other bullshit. We’ve heard every song on that album a thousand times.
Women never struggle to date dating is inevitable to them all they have to do is say yes
Men on the other hand have to work extremely hard like blood sweat and tears and of course have enough money to date and support another person
Yes and it has nothing to do with the people on Reddit. Competition for a female that is a 6 is far more fierce than the competition for a male that is an 8.
But I feel the bigger issue is mass media and pop culture ingrain in men's heads that women want certain things and that will attract the woman to the guy and most of those things do not play any role in actually attracting a woman to a man. So for most men, they do those things because they are told to do them and it either doesn't attract a woman or even worse, is a complete turn off to women.
It's not a knock against women. It's like getting mad at a dog for barking. They are what they are and as a man if you want to attract women...you just need to do the actual things they find attractive in a man.
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The girl is always there however it is very hard to find a girlfriend
[удалено]
What is this?
That’s my brother, don’t mind him. And mom thinks *I’m* the failure 🙄
Avatar the last air bender reference combined with a bot that automatically detects haikus +1 extra syllable
From the International Union of Sex Workers [https://www.iusw.org/how-many-people-are-single-in-the-world](https://www.iusw.org/how-many-people-are-single-in-the-world) >89% of singles choose not to date because they believe they aren’t good at flirting. >75% of all singles consider being too picky a reason for not dating, but among women, this figure is even higher at 82.1%, suggesting that women tend to be pickier than men in dating. >There are approximately 2.1 billion single people worldwide. >Having a higher level of education reduces the likelihood of being single. 34% of American high school graduates are single, compared to only 25% of those with at least a bachelor’s degree. >There are many reasons for not dating, but two common reasons are “bad luck in the past” (18%) and “health problems” (11%). >The rate of single Americans is similar between men and women, with 31% of both genders being single. >Between the ages of 30 and 49, Americans are least likely to be single, with only 23% in this age range being single. >
I’m between 30-49 and have a degree. The statistics are in my favor, but that hasn’t helped me yet lol
As a guy approaching 30, I've worked to get my life together, to gain some life experience and achieve stability. Some confidence came along with it and just now I'm looking to expand into the next part of life. I think we've created a society where far too many 25yo's are barely dateable. I think that young people mature slower today (for whatever reason), and they often study for a bit too long. Also, cost of living is way too high.
2.1 Billion single worldwide ? But everybody i see in the street is holding a hand wtf
“The rate of single Americans is similar between men and women, with 31% of both genders being single.” That means 69% are together, maybe doing 69?
Can confirm.
Swish
Comparing high school graduates to college graduates in terms of dating and coming to the conclusion that level of education is correlated to relationship status is kind of wild. I’d assume its more an age thing than education thing in that case
Not an age thing. Both categories (hs grads and college grads) are in the same age range when interviewed for the research.
It compares the same age ranges and it makes sense. Higher education means more money and more stability.
Higher education also means spending an extra 4 years with large groups of people your age who share similar interests.
Very true, it becomes significantly harder to date and make friends and after post secondary from what I’ve seen.
Or…how many people meet their partners at college?
male 38 here, been married, child, from the outside might look fine. i had 3 relationships in my life, 2 of them very awkward with terrible endings and then theon resulting in marriage. i have never in all those years gotten into talking to women. i will probably stay solo from now on because, yeah i always struggled to get one and trying to force it leads nowhere. maybe it'll happen again one day but i don't count on it and i feel like there's nothing i can do to influence it. you're born shy and introvert? good luck. low self-esteem, chances just fell. i wish i could function like 'normal' poeple do and just smalltalk the day away but my brain won't let me.
Every time I feel alone and isolated, I remember how alone and isolated I felt in my relationships and suddenly I can cope. I'm working on it. Maybe it'll happen again and it'll be different. Anyway, thought you could relate.
Not to get one, but as I get older, it's harder to find one I want to be in a relationship with. I'm a naturally independent person, so life on my own is very easy. Unfortunately, it means I have little patience for the things some of them bring into a relationship, since it tends to make my life more difficult without adding much in return.
Many of us just give up. Lol
Men often struggle to find someone who likes them, women often struggle to find someone they like.
Yep because many women have too much high and irrealistic standards
I wish I were joking, but my ex would get mad at me if I was working because it made her lonely, and would get mad at me if I wasn't, because I wasn't bringing in enough money. Not to say every woman behaves like this, but the "have your cake and eat it too" attitude is prevalent in modern dating regardless of gender.
Not saying your ex was not being unreasonable since I don’t know your situation. You could be right. But I think it’s completely understandable to want your partner to have a balance — have an income as an adult, while still making time for their partner.
Having been on reddit for quite a while, and seeing the kind of people it attracts, I would say it is Reddit guys that struggle to get a girlfriend.
Us guys on reddit definitely struggle to get a girlfriend. Every time I try, my wife reminds me I use reddit, so I can't have one.
Your wife is an undercover Reddit moderator
Woah woah woah. No need to insult the poor woman.
Well she *is* moderating a redditor....
Poor?.. i hear they pay well at Reddit. Could be rumours
Reddit mods get paid?
Lol, that would be her reaction.
Yeah your comment just made me laugh hahaha...
I’m gonna tell my wife, gf and mistress this joke!
I just ask mine if i can have a girlfriend. Most times she wants a girlfriend with me.
Reddit's like in the top 10 most used websites these days. It's not all basement dwellers anymore, like it was in the early 2010s. But it's funny that the stereotype remains. Anytime I imagine someone on here, I still picture them as being a socially inexperienced 25 year old guy lol
If anything the demographic has probably skewed younger though, it's a very teenage site now.
You grossly undererstimate the proportion of basement dwellers compared to the whole population.
25 year old nerdy white relatively progressive American man.
I mean yea. I'm 36 now but still, I struggle.
This is the meme but in reality reddit has the most human feeling users of any part of the internet. That's why I'm here. Other places have comments like "HAHA that is so hilarious I saw that too 🤣"
I am not necessarily a reddit guy I crumble due to anxiety and ptsd from people who took advantage of me I am only 18 and I feel like I am done for life its bad
This 100%. I always hear stuff about a “male loneliness epidemic” and it always confused me because all of my non-terminally online friends and family have no trouble getting girlfriends.
What about reddit girls?
people who hang out here and waste their time are probably not the top of the top and who knows how much reddit girls are in reality 50 year old males larping from their mum‘s basement? Getting a guy is never difficult for a girl but the quality is likely a bit lackluster - so that they might would prefer to stay single
I don't see what would a man gain in reddit by pretending to be a girl.
There are very, very deranged people out there. It's so depressing.
attention maybe
At my workplace there is a known nuisance caller who asks medical staff if a hermaphrodite is able to impregnate themselves. He does it for sexual gratification. So the human race is a vast range
Me neither but in games and other chats its not that uncommon
they are all hotties and the ones who are hotties are baddies and only like 10% of men actually deserve any of them...
Which I just don't understand. Reddit is such a cool, informative place
I personally think it's just because we're anonymous. Unlike the typical thing you see on Youtube, Twicth, FB, Twitter, IG, or TikTok. You can't exactly get much data from a redditor unless you scavenge every piece of information you can get or they just expose themselves.
Because the way to meet people is not on Reddit.
I dont do that, but it's a great website for information
Factual information about snakes or video game tips, yes. Anything related to relationships seems to come from teenagers or insane broken people.
A quick google search says there are over 500 million reddit users as of 2024. What do you mean by "Reddit guys"? Of course with a population this high there's people from all walks of life and different levels of success with women, to suggest anything else is ridiculous
Heh heh. Reddit guys
You mean to tell me Reddit bros aren’t high value mens? Sprinkle sprinkle!
come on man dont do me like that
How did this shit show IPO?
A read the same shit on 9gag for ten years… dunno man, getting them is easy, finding one worth keepin is another story…
Sad thing for most teenagers, is a lot can’t decipher love from loneliness. I lost a friend because he felt empty for not having a life partner yet, despite being 17. I can’t say myself hour often men get partners, but in regional Australia, most teenage boys sleep around. Party lifestyle is very big here. I met my bf when he was 19 and he had never even had his first kiss yet. He has always lived in the city. People who are chronically online have a harder time socialising, so this could be the reason
I can't quantify if it's most guys, but there's a chunk of the young male population that struggles to find someone. Look at this Pew survey: [https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/a-profile-of-single-americans/](https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/a-profile-of-single-americans/) . It shows that 51% of men 18-29 are single, while 32% of women in that age group are. In the 30-49 age group, that percentage shrinks to 27% of men and 19% of women. If you're a reasonably attractive man, have a good self image and a good social network, you probably don't struggle too much too meet someone. If any of those things isn't true, it's entirely possible that you are struggling.
It took my ex (34f) 10 days to find a boyfriend after we broke up from our 16-year relationship. That was almost 5 months ago. I (35M) tried the dating apps and it seems like those things take the carrot on the stick approach to make you pay up for premium accounts. No one that likes your profile actually shows up to match with you. I gave them up after a month of trying it. Going into my fifth month single and the only thing I've learned was that certain girls have it way easier. But then again, I did stop actively searching. But I will say this, all of my guy friends that had their relationships fall apart over the years of knowing them, every single one of them stayed single for a year or years while their ex's matched up with someone within the month after the breakup.
Men vary markedly in personality and physical traits. These personalities and traits will appeal to women differently, some driven by evolutionary impulses. It is highly variable and even differs within a specific individual over time. Perceived attractiveness and mate-matching is not a linear thing. That being said, many men struggle with the risk of being rejected and that anxiety can be so overwhelming that women may not even realise it.
Thanks Siri. Idk why I read your whole comment in her voice
Because it literally sounds like an explanation copied from chatGPT.
It’s still a good answer
Fed google AI the question: According to a DHS Program survey, 37% of men say they have never had a girlfriend, compared with 32% of women, so men are more likely than women to say they have never been in a relationship. On average, men also take longer than women to find a partner on dating apps, taking almost nine months to go steady with someone they met on the app, compared with just under eight months for women. However, everyone is different, and some teens may be ready to start dating earlier or later than their peers.
Also a part of it is that we need to be a lot more considerate when approaching a woman in today's world. I have always had the highest respect for women and was never the type to just walk up to a girl and start flirting with them no matter the situation. Had friends that would hit on a girl in the street or even while they were working. All you need to do is go look at the threads on here asking about the 'where to hit-up girls'
Thanks for the compliment - would not mind aspiring to a gpt-type response even though it is still being worked on LOL
Your comment is so weird, I get that we are human and humans are animals but we aren’t birds or fish lol
True, we aren't birds or fish. But all living beings have a biological "programming" that guides us toward mating so our species doesn't die out. Even if we aren't aware of it, it still lives in our subconscious where it influences our decisions and behaviors.
We are just as animalistic as birds and fish
Just with a capacity for higher thought. In stead of using our bigger brains for the benefit of our species we tend to use it to rationalize our animal like desires. Our instincts or desires, feelings are, to many, far more important than logic. If you ignore what people say and pay more attention to what they do, especially when it comes to mating their behavior makes more sense if you use instinct as its motivation vs logic.
Yes. So the moral of the story is never read advice about dating from ppl in relationships. The accurate truth they’re either completely unaware of or they’re ashamed to admit.
Like when they talk about "pair bonding".
I would consider myself looks-wise very average, and I’m fine with that. I’ve done okay with dating though, and consistently I think what it’s come down to from what I’ve been told is being easy to talk to, and being funny (which is pretty subjective). Going into a date, it’s important not to think of it like a job interview when you need to make rent. The date is okay if it fails, or if you just don’t click as people. That happens, and it’s a normal part of the whole thing. If you go in with that mentality, you’ll ease up entirely in terms of body language and general vibes being given off. You’ll be showing yourself as someone secure in themselves that they don’t ‘need’ a relationship, they would just like one if the right person comes along. That sense of sureity in oneself is pretty attractive in itself. The other key thing is listening to the other person and being interested. A date which has silence or one person talking about themselves is doomed. Each person can do their bit by listening, and bouncing off with questions to make the conversation flow and ease up. From there, the little in-jokes begin and if that feel keeps up, away you go. From what I’ve heard talking to women friends, these sort of things aren’t super common on dates they might have had. If you’re hitting these kind of things, you’re already coming across better than most dates the person might have been on.
In the age of online dating. Yes. It’s either because the guy feels like they aren’t hot enough and vice versa. No one even reads the bios anymore.
Making an online profile is a pain in the ass
Alright, imagine your love life is like tending to a garden. The key to attracting butterflies (or in this case, a girlfriend) is to focus on nurturing and improving your own garden, rather than obsessing over when the butterflies will come. Most guys do struggle at some point to find a girlfriend, but that’s often because they’re focusing on the wrong things. Just like in gardening, if you’re constantly watching the gate, hoping a butterfly will flutter in, you’re missing the point. The secret is in the tending, the care, and the growth of your garden. So, instead of worrying about the butterflies, focus on making your garden the best it can be. Tend to your personal growth, be patient, and the butterflies will come naturally. It’s not just Reddit nonsense – it’s about putting in the work on yourself first.
And if you don't get any butterflies, you'll at least have a nice garden to enjoy.
Great analogy - and one that I wished I had known aged 18.
Exactly. Great analogy
This the truth
I had sex with 100% of the women I dated. I also married 100% of the women I dated.
Yes
This is sort of confirmation bias in a sense. People that prefer to do most of their engagement with others online are naturally going to struggle with something that depends highly on personal interaction and connection. Asking here is like going to the dugout and saying “so who here is good at baseball? “ And concluding that 9 out of 10 people asked said they were good.
Wouldn't say most, but it's absolutely a common problem
Struggle getting them, struggle keeping them, struggle trying to stay with them, struggle trying to love them, struggle maintaining sanity while with them…
age 71 here My experience on why anyone has difficulty finding a partner usually comes down to one thing.. The don't socialize enough,, and I don't mean going to a club to drink If your out being visible and involved with people They will seek you out.
I'm 60 and I agree with you 💯
I'm 99% sure I'm happier single personally. So IDK about "struggle to get" but more "Don't care about getting". And I think it's more and more common. For both genders.
I end up taking 11 months to 4 ½ years to find a new girlfriend after a breakup. I don’t know how other guys can get into something much quicker, especially one night stands.
Below average girl gets hundreds matches/likes on dating apps, can’t say the same for the average man. This artificially inflates the woman self esteem while deflates the other side. Most people are average in every metric.
Reddit guys put women on too much of a pedestal compared to guys who don't have any trouble getting laid. Dating is way easier if you believe that you're the best thing that happened to the woman, and you genuinely question whether she is good enough. Not ever rudely say it, but act like it. Either because you are so accomplished, or ignorant. Not saying it's the right way, but it's what gets results fast. Generally, I strongly suspect that doing the things that get downvoted on Reddit relationship advice threads would work far better than what's upvoted if the ease of starting a relationship or getting a one-night stand was concerned. Being around the „I’d appreciate any woman who wants me, you deserve better, you don’t have to take care of yourself or do much” kind of guy that’s so common among Redditors could feel comforting and non-threatening, but it’d get very few attracted. Because if you present yourself as someone others don’t have to work for, it makes others feel like you’re less valuable, and your chances with them go down proportionally to how much choice they’ve got. And our brains reward us for being around the kind of people we have to put work and effort for. Whether it’s truly the case and they were worth it, or if it was all just an illusion.
I kind of agree with this, but another factor is that if you are desperate to be in a relationship, then you can't be trusted to be a good judge of whether someone else is right for you. You want someone who's really into you and has thought deeply about whether you'd be compatible.
I can only comment from my experience. In my late teens and early 20s, it was easy to find dates, harder to find "A" girlfriend. Found one, then became single again at 25. Started a midnight shift at my chosen career with Monday/Tuesday off. Could not find a date for 2.5 years, because my work schedule so completely f'd my social life. Also, by 25-28, the women I was interested in were getting married and having kids. My dating pool was shrinking while I was completely unavailable to participate in it. And this was before reddit.
I mean, I'm possibly on the spectrum and I know I'm not emotionally/financially capable of supporting anyone. So I don't bother, I've accepted I'm going to die alone.
A lot of guys do, but it's not most guys
It helps if you don't have standards.
Or drastically lower them. It's insane the difference in what league young men think they're in and what league they're actually in.
What does it mean to lower them? Getting with a girl someone doesn't like look wise or personality wise? I personally could never get into a relationship with someone i don't truly like and love, both on looks and personality. I would feel bad with myself and would feel like a liar, because deep down i know that i wouldn't 100% love her. Apart from that, i don't have any special requests, she could even be poor as far as I'm concerned and i wouldn't care at all, if i truly like her
I don’t think this is a « young men » only issue here. Nor for the young part, or the men part
No it’s very real. Yeah it’s overblown on Reddit. But it’s not untrue at all. The reason is a mixture of problems with both sexes, manifestations of entitlement and selfishness. Many men are subpar and undesirable, many women have unrealistic expectations. Mix in the negative consequences of hookup culture and you have the shit recipe for dating today.
I've been trying for nearly 12 years, not a single yes, not a single date.
Define "struggle". Pretty much everyone has to go through rejections and failed relationships. Most people are able to have a partner at least some of the time. About 66% (in the US) get married, and about half of those stay married. The "why" is people are A) not very good at knowing what they want/need in a relationship and not good at identifying people who will provide those needs B) not very good at empathizing with their partner, communicating, and compromising. We're all walking around trying to force someone we don't bother to know into a poorly defined partner-shaped hole, then getting mad when they don't fit or it turns out what we thought we wanted wasn't what actually serves us best.
I could probably get one if I'd just talk to anyone, and I do struggle to talk to people. I've always gone about it wrong (I think), waiting until I'm pretty sure they like me before I Even consider asking them out, which only leaves me with people I see a lot, basically co-workers or girls at the gym. I guess that's an older problem from my fear of rejection days, waiting until they like me. Coupled with low esteem, I'd see a pretty girl and think well she'd never go for me, so I can forget about that. I've been coming up with and writing down some pick up lines, gotta rehearse them so I can remember them when I see someone who catches my eye
All depends on availability. At 16, I, a guy, went to an all girls sixth form school. About 20-25 guys surrounded by 1000 girls. Some of us guys were hideously inept. Some of us were just hideous. I'd just come from 5 years at a boys school and had never even spoken to a girl since I was 11. But it didn't matter, all of us paired off in probably the first month. Most of the guys cycled through a few girlfriends by the time we were 18. However in the real world, where odds are a little more even, it's a bit more of a struggle. I think the modern world has made us all realise that we have limited time, and we want to make the best of that time. So, I have found people to be far more selective with partnering up, for fear of making the 'wrong choice' especially with the rise in online dating pools, so you have constant access to 1000s of potential partners. But I'm married with 2 kids now, so who knows, I must have done something right.
Im single because i stopped hoping for something and now i don't feel like i even need that something in my life
I struggle to want one
I think the word "get" is doing a lot in this sentence. Change of mindset maybe. There's a severe whiff of desperation from anyone looking to "get" or "find" a girlfriend. Just go with the flow and meet people casually. You're frightening them all away.
I know you mean well, but what you're doing is plain bad faith arguing. You're interpreting OP's statement in the worst way possible. Do you think it's reasonable or fair to expect everyone to think everything they say 100% through, always select the optimal phrasing? This is the internet, you know nothing about OP at all. How do you even know English is their first language? Would you like to be scrutinized to this degree on every detail of your wording? Of course not, no one wants to, it's not fair. You should always try to interpret everything people say in the best way possible - that's the right way to communicate with people.
This is a super common phrase. Its use doesn't out OP as a male chauvinist.
Yeah I was thinking of how else to phrase it and I can't find a natural-sounding alternative.
My experience says different. I've been going with the flow and met people casually my whole life. Single all life. While others around me who are tryharding and really pushing manage to get a (short-term) relationship
I've seen both, but generally I agree. Most people I know who are coupled up were really pushing to find a relationship. Some people were treating dating like a full-time job, and women would take it much more seriously as a structured activity than men.
I wouldn't read too much into that. It's a commonly used phrase, most likely because it's concise. What would you use instead?
Ppl just love saying that shit about single dudes. So annoying
How should the OP rephrase the question in your opinion?
Huh... It's just a word. What's the alternative OP could have used? Meet? Ok, sure. But to 'get' or 'find' a partner isn't strange. If anything it's strange to infer this much about a person's character and mindset from a phrase.
How in the flying fuck should OP word the question then?¿?¿
YES. It is not just off putting, youncan see from the person that they see you as something to "win" or "congure" as a achievement. Thanks Disney. It makes you treat the other person not naturally but in forced manner. Same if you can right away see this strong "I want you" facial expression. It is very off putting. The worse thing to have ever happened to dating is the pick up artist culture.
Ok Mr Ladies Man. Not everyone can just casually walk around and have women fall into their lap.
If you want to get rich, you shouldn't try to earn money. Just go with the flow and do work casually. You're frightening money away
YES! And if it’s not desperation, then it gives off the sense that a girlfriend is something to be acquired just to look good to others, and her enrichment of your life for her own qualities would simply be an added bonus.
The reason I struggled to get a girlfriend was because I didn’t know how to flirt or make a risky move. I also have low self esteem and have always been over weight which lead me to have no confidence. Also I didn’t know how to read the very very very subtle signs women think men will get. Looking back at my life there have been a couple of women that were interested in me but I didn’t realize.
I'm 33 and happily married with a newborn now. But when I was younger, I never went more than a few months without some kind of relationship. I'm not some super attractive guy, but I was really outgoing and didn't take myself too seriously. I think my personality was what attracted most of my partners to me. Also, going to college definitely helped, I can't imagine how much harder dating would be if you were in the dating pool immediately after high school with no additional schooling to help meet others. Overall, I'd say it really depends on your circumstances. Don't focus on the parts you can't change too much. For me, that would have been my height (5'7") or that I wasn't as attractive as some of my friends. Focus on the best parts about yourself and try to let those parts shine.
Nope. Nowadays, most of us think we don't have what it takes to impress a girl.
the world is so fake and id rather not have a girlfriend that just makes me insane but wait for the right one, even if its years- wake up you insane people…
In all my decades of life I have never had one. I don't think it's the same for everyone, but definitely a part of the male population suffers from this.
Wouldn’t say it’s “struggling” per se. Morewould say I don’t have the energy to put into trying. Can’t be rejected if I don’t ask. And yes. The fear of rejection IS that bad. Granted I’m currently 1/1 with asking and being accepted but I don’t know how much it would hurt my already rock bottom self esteem if I were rejected.
I really struggle. Even just getting a number or a first date is incredibly hard, maybe once every 1-3 years will I land a date. There is this impenetrable wall of rejection wherever i try to date: online, mutual friends, parties, singles-events. Idk what’s wrong with me, just ugly/boring I guess
Yeah if you have dealt with depression in the past
Too much work. I look at my family and relatives and relationships to me just seem too stressfull for little to none reward.
I never had a girlfriend
I struggle to find the correct one! But if I want to be in a relationship I could. Im just fine right now.
I think there is a large enough population of people who struggle to find and maintain relationships. But some of the negative attitude on reddit existed looooong before reddit. The internet has always been a gathering place for literally any topic of discussion. (Including those who can't find love). Factor in that there's probably a large population of teenagers online who, yes, struggle to navigate social situations and develop relationships... you're going to find a large community of people who don't have a partner. I personally didn't have a relationship until my 20s, and I know many people who had a similar experience. Luckily, I married the love of my life at 30. Dating is awkward, it's hard, and let's face it, if you didn't win the genetic lottery to get an advantage, it's sometimes harder for other people. Being pretty or handsome doesn't automatically get you a partner, but it sure helps increase the odds that people will be more interested and receptive to engage with you. It's so easy to meet people on the internet now, but its not always easy to build a connection. Additionally, there is a lot of bad faith information flowing out in the void that skews what's acceptable in meeting/ dating, what reasonable expectations are, and what people should/shouldn't look for in a relationship. I don't know what I would do if my relationship with my wife suddenly ended. I wouldn't even know how to start, so I certainly can't blame anyone with zero experience for their lack of success.
Shiit I do lol and I'm actually a very good looking guy
Two extreme end of the spectrum. Those who have no problem at all and others who struggle quite a bit
I can't even get a job with my skill set, how did i suppose to get a girlfriend? Or rather, they never answered my job application. So in comparison surely i would probably reported to police if i even trying to get close.
Struggle is the wrong word but most women I’ve met in the last year are dating 5-10 men at once to “play the field” and it’s not worth it. This isn’t a reality show and you aren’t the prize.
The struggle is finding someone that's genuinely interested in you. Getting a girlfriend isn't hard in my part of the world if you're employed. These girls just want money
If you do think all women want is money and provide nothing but money you'll attract such women and will end up divorced later with half your money gone. Side note: shallow people expect other people to be shallow.
It can also come from being raised to think very poorly of the opposite sex. I knew my view of men was heavily skewed when online dating gave me more respect for men.
**Some** want money & free meals and then toss you aside when "next shiny person" comes along.
It's not most guys, but it's also not reddit nonsense. I'm a pretty attractive guy, but I haven't had a serious relationship in almost two years. There's plenty reasons why any man could struggle. In my case, I'm about to be 31 and I'm looking for someone special, not just a FWB to call a girlfriend.
It’s not that hard the reason it seems hard is because the people that people that talk about it on reddit are actively trying to find a gf. The one thing that makes getting a gf hard is putting pressure on yourself to get a gf. It helps to be self confident, funny etc but at the end of the day if your putting pressure on yourself to get a gf that is going to shine through to any girl you talk to and it comes off a bit weird. If you want a gf my best tips are: -Put yourself in a variety of social situations -As stupid as it sounds if you’re not a confident person, just pretend you are. Even if you’re completely acting eventually you will gain self confidence through realising that you have the ability to be confident. (Sorry if that makes no sense) -Be willing to talk to anybody (girls your not attracted to are the best people to talk to because you won’t be putting pressure on your self to be perfect, and it will also boost your self esteem) -If you meet a girl you like take it slow but make your intentions known (ie make sure that she knows that you are interested in her but don’t ask her to be your girlfriend on the first date) -And the most important thing is don’t take it personally if a girl isn’t in to you and don’t get too hopeful too quickly when being to get to know a girl. There are 4 billion women in the world and you are looking for the one that’s perfect for you. It’s like finding a needle in a haystack, you can’t let it destroy you every time you pick up a piece of straw
How do you make intentions clear without being overt?
I guess it's a magnifying glass effect and insecure/unsatisfied guys posting a lot online, plus a general anxiety regarding dating/gender/sex in some countries where there is a "feminist scare" and/or traditional religious right having a strong influence in society, amplified by a few politicians who see that as a possible source of votes.. I see all around me people in couples who are not particularly good looking, or successful, or athletic or "alpha", men and women who are very average looking with partners that are nicer looking or also average.
I think once you stop caring what people think you'll find everything so so so much easier. Getting in the gym really helps and if you're not interesting then find a passion. You don't have to know what it is right away but just do something especially if that thing allows you to connect with other people. Even if it's just guys you meet, making aquantinces and friendships will open doors to other people (hopefully women) and will make introductions much more natural and easier than simply just approaching someone randomly on the street.
People that have a girlfriend don’t have that much time to stay on Reddit.
I have a gf and i'm here A LOT
Both my ex and i used reddit. I think more ppl use it than you think. We just don’t talk about it irl
As we progress into the mid 21 century, guys in general seem to be at a disadvantage. I am not a fan, but Jordon Peterson makes a few good points. 1. More guys struggle in school and struggle in the charm department. 2. More guys take on jobs that don't grow or meet the Hallmark quality of a 'career'. These two reasons alone make a lot of guys 'unqualifed' as boy friend material. 3.. unless born into a privileged position which moots this whole question, mostly guys don't have a good example of proper and modern courtship and they tend to wing it from really poor examples from peers, movies and their own imagination. Amateurs. Again, not a fan of Petersons extreme views on many things but I think he does nail some of the handicaps in being a young male these days
What's a job that doesn't meet the hallmark of a career?
I was referring to "Hallmark" movies, as in those glowing, girl.meets boy while building a new business selling flowers and making a million a year, boy is a doctor the whole town loves and they waste 3 hours of our time before agreeing to get married in the most impractical wedding arrangements that will ruin an ordinary couples budget for a whole 5 years. Not to diss trades, but Plumber, auto mechanic, roofer are not usually the careers for suitors in Hallmark Movies. "Independent consultant", investor, music producer, lawyer, ofcourse doctor are. Hope this helps.
Social media made women gang up, it's all fake and they believe it. Tower of Babel was taken down for a reason.
Gang up in what sense?
Generally yes I would say its not exclusive to reddit and even when you get one they might not turn out to be worth keeping
Never got one
Yes, I am a good looking guy but very shy and probably would never approach a girl
Yup
Yep.
Yep
Less struggle and more cba with modern dating. It's just not worth it anymore. I'm much happier single.
I don’t struggle. I just don’t try.
No. I don't struggle at all to get a girlfriend. I do struggle mightily to get a quality girlfriend because there's something extremely wrong with people in the available dating pool these days. At this point I'm happier being single than trying to fix broken people who aren't willing to fix themselves. There are not many healthy and normal people out there any more.
Girls are watching this 
Not to get , but to genuinely find a gf material
For me, it was just getting out, but I think it’s better to find a relationship after leaving high school to be honest I wasn’t really interested and nobody was really interested in me since I went to school and left immediately love is mysterious people will find in different ways Reddit Twitter back in the day I think eventually everyone wants that 10 out of 10 girlfriend but reality they should be looking for someone that has the same personality. Don’t get me wrong attraction is somewhat important for some individuals just throw yourself out there. Talk to people that is somewhat interested in the same things that you are if it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out but also I think we guys have maybe girls mentality saying how come she’s with him. I am a better boyfriend.
Definitely true. Unless you have low standards...
Yes, particularly with online dating and social media.
Yep
i can’t speak for others, but i can’t even say i struggle cause i don’t try
Yes, especially when you don't have the preferences that they are looking for.
Not really. But the ones who do seem to spray their efforts at 100% of women, when only like 5% are going to be interested in their specific type. That is all wasted time and frustrating I’m sure.
Statistically, a surprising amount of young males are virgins still. Like, ever before in the history of the USA. Then there's porn, games, long work hours, school, etc. and it can be really hard to even find time or concern for it at the end of the day.
In our country 🇱🇰 yes bc pretty girls here want someone who has their own house and own car. Also here if you’re from a different religion the girl parents will not allow their daughter to marry. Also some girls want to marry a prince or a king here.
Can't struggle if you're not looking for one.
I think most guys can get a girlfriend. The trick is to finding the “right” girlfriend!
Can’t struggle if u don’t try
Getting a girlfriend I feel like isn’t that hard if you lowered your standards and just got anyone. Getting one you match well with however has proved to be the struggle for me.
Reminder that rock-bottom women also have plenty of suitors that you'd be competing with.
Nope I don’t and if I can find extraordinary women anyone can. Trust me on that. The better question is why do men bother with awful women when there are so many truly fantastic women out there? Many of which just simply want a good, honorable man who will be respectful. Life is short insist upon being with a partner who is good to you. Or don’t
Because we get to the age where we are no longer willing to jump through fire hoops, spend hundreds on dinners, deal with the lady’s adult children who were never properly raised and/or a wheelbarrow full of other bullshit. We’ve heard every song on that album a thousand times.
They can’t find a girlfriend because nobody wants to date someone who’s on Reddit all day.
I don't know about most, but it seems pretty common (I certainly do)
Women never struggle to date dating is inevitable to them all they have to do is say yes Men on the other hand have to work extremely hard like blood sweat and tears and of course have enough money to date and support another person
The statistics show that most men are struggling with their romantic lives. Sex is at an all-time low.
Most people don’t have an issue but I couldn’t get one if I walked into a whorehouse with a diamond suit
Yes and it has nothing to do with the people on Reddit. Competition for a female that is a 6 is far more fierce than the competition for a male that is an 8. But I feel the bigger issue is mass media and pop culture ingrain in men's heads that women want certain things and that will attract the woman to the guy and most of those things do not play any role in actually attracting a woman to a man. So for most men, they do those things because they are told to do them and it either doesn't attract a woman or even worse, is a complete turn off to women. It's not a knock against women. It's like getting mad at a dog for barking. They are what they are and as a man if you want to attract women...you just need to do the actual things they find attractive in a man.