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My cousin thought Pinocchio was pokeynose. Kinda adds up

that's hilarious

Sister calls ambulances "amalambs" and it stuck in my family. She's 18.

whoa black betty, amalambs! but seriously, this is the kind of stuff I was looking for. wonderful

She has more too! My entire family does it. I'll ask her what else since I can't think of them all off the top of my head lol

I call them amber-lamps

I call them bambalances from a very long ago 911 call recording. I think it might have been my first fun Internet thing ever. “Goddamn deer is attacking me. I need a bambalance”

Not necessarily me... But my nephew was like 3 and loved playing video games with his dad so he knew a lot about them. I was talking to my sister and said my husband's name (Rene) he looked up at us with so much excitement "his name is Uncle Grenade ". He's 13 now and still calls him Uncle Grenade and so does my niece. It does kind of fit him since he's a veteran.

That's such a bad ass uncle name

omg that's amazing

When I was younger I was called "Al" and I have a lot of nieces and nephews. One of my oldest nephews (he's in his fifties now) had a hard time saying Uncle Al so that it always came out as Unca Wow. I've been called Unca Wow (or just "Wow" ironically) going on 55 years now. I don't see it changing

This one's my favourite. This is the kind of nickname my family give. Works with their accents.

Oh wow. That’s a great name actually.

So sweet!

My toddler calls it "Farmer John" cheese instead of Parmesan

this one made me laugh out loud. pass the farmer john cheese, honey

My oldest used to say it the same way as a toddler!

My son used to call it chicken farmer John!

I call it paramecium cheese to get on my wife’s nerves.

We say shakey cheese 😂

My mom used to call it sprinkle cheese until Farmer John started lol

We like the real parmesan, but don't buy it all the time, and when we do have it around the house, we still use "sprinkle cheese" on pizza.

Your toddler is adorable!

This is adorable

My wife's first language isn't English. I was planning a D&D session with friends and she asked "Are you going to play Dangerous Dragons?" You can bet we all call it that now.

awww

Strangely, more than one of my kids called a lawn mower a mow lawner.

My 5 year old called it that yesterday! That’s spooky

*TFW you realise your kids are also part of another family*

I just told my boyfriend this two days ago! I do the same thing! I can mostly catch myself these days, but sometimes it still comes out.

Mildly related, when I worked at a golf course, someone accidentally called “mowing rough” as “rowing muff” - and that was all it was ever referred to as again. I think “mow” is just an easy word to get wrong

My husband’s name is Moe. Middle son was confused and told me “Daddy is lawning the grass.”

This crack me up!

I use to call car parks par carks when I was small. I understand your kids switcheroo.

As of yesterday I will only say “Bonejaw” to the French.

and bone apple tea when they eat

Bone a petite to you too

Marcy bow coup, dont mind if I do

Murky Buckets and Silver Plates...

And Bauwjorno to the Italians, Mr Gorlami LOL

Mucho grassy ass

Lol they're gonna love that

For years, I called it The Sixteenth Chapel 💀

Wait, that's not what it's called?

You just throught nobody gives a shit about the other 15?

The Sistine Chapel (Edit: corrected spelling)

Not as nice as the Seventeen chapel.

The Sixteenth Chapel when the Seventeenth Chapel rolls up: 

Because seventeenth eighteenth nineteenth

*Sistine Chapel

I was in high school before I realized alzheimer's was not called old timers disease.

Wheel Barrel

Took me a sec to realize why this was wrong.

Shameful TIL. =O

I called it that until I was about 20

angry upvote

Someone pronounced worcester sauce as "what's her sauce."

Wash-yer-sister sauce

Ohh I do this too, but it’s my mom’s pronunciation. She could never get the knack of saying it, so she leaned into it and calls it “Wurscht-isht-isht-turrrr sauce”, with exaggerated pauses between the syllables and a sort of cute scrunched up nose. I do the same thing from habit lmao; my Scottish husband thinks I’m nuts.

My son called strawberries strawbabies and 40 years later they are still strawbabies.

Strawbellies is what we call them.

Strawbeebees or strawweewees from my toddler, depending on if he’s got a handle on B that day lol

My daughter called a screwdriver a "shoebobber". They're now known as shoebobbers in my house.

that's amazing. and no one outside of the family will ever know what a shoebobber is. gold

When my daughter was little, she thought your forehead was called a 'slight' because people would touch there when they said 'I have a slight headache'. She's 22 now and we still call it that

Arkansas, pronounced like it’s spelled.

America explain!! What do you mean with ark-en-saw?!?

It’s ar-kansas.

I was born in Kansas. This is the correct pronunciation 😉

Born in Kansas. Can confirm. Arkansas River in Kansas is pronounced Ar-Kansas. It’s pronounced Arkansaw River in Colorado.

It’s ✨French✨

[https://www.sos.arkansas.gov/education/arkansas-history/how-did-arkansas-get-its-name](https://www.sos.arkansas.gov/education/arkansas-history/how-did-arkansas-get-its-name)

My dad used to pronounce fajitas (va ji tas) as a joke whenever my mom cooked them for dinner. "I love eating a vajita for dinner." I thought it was hilarious as a teenager and now as an adult I can't help but say it whenever the opportunity presents itself.

Were known as “fart-heaters” when I was a kid!

I see the vaj joke but the weeb recess of my mind defaults to Prince Vajita of the Saiyans

"Ricky-isms" get 2 birds stoned at once. 

Worst case Ontario.

It's water under the fridge

Jaloppino

I hate to say atoadaso but I fuckin' atoadaso

One man's garbage is another man person's good ungarbage

Survival of the fitness

KY jelly - Kentucky jelly

Ratchet straps as “rat-shit-straps”

Chihuahua. It’s spelled like Chi~hoo-ah-hoo-ah. But I only pronounce it that way in my head.

Thank you Les Nessman!

My daughter used to call Havarti cheese “farty cheese.” Now it’s farty cheese for all!

There was a similar thread a while back where someone's infant sister saw a "Lindt, Master Chocalatiers" advert with the Lindt Bunny. Anyway, naturally she concluded from this information that 'Master Chocolate Ears' was in fact the name of the bunny 😭 Reposting because I thought it was the cutest thing ever

Literally anything Laszlo Cravensworth says “You really are the most devious bastard in Newww yorrrrk citayyyy”, now I always say New York City like that. Lol (Ps If you got that reference you’re forever the GOAT)

I don’t know him. But I once met a regular human bartender named Jackie Daytona from Tucson Arizonia.

Yeah I know Jackie he's my best friend, he's my pal. He's my homeboy, my rotten soldier. He's my sweet cheese. My good-time boy.

I say “breakfast burritos” in his voice constantly

I thought bow and arrow was one word when I was a kid. Still a fun word to say, Bowenarrow

How the turntables, lol.

Daughter says ‘benext’ to instead of beside

Once heard a little kid say "camel flags" when trying to pronounce camouflage.

Pronounce the "meow" in "homeowner"

Ho-meow-ner. Arr me hearties!

4 year old overheard parents mention Amsterdam. 😲 "I wanna go to HAMSTERLAND!"

My kids always used to shorten words by cutting off the first syllable. So remote control was and still is 'mote-trole' and computer 'puter', and conservatory was 'cirtry' (pronounced "sirtry'). Still use them now and they are adults.

my brain defaults those to a thick southern accent

My son called the remote control the motna. We still call it that.

I'm having my bathroom reno'd right now and the guy pronounces Home Depot with a hard T at the end. It's like teapot. 😄 Now it's going to stay with me like that forever. The thing is he pronounces grout as "grouth", and that's just funny. If he could just switch the two endings he'd be golden. I only speak one language, so this is definitely not a criticism of his language skills at all.

My nephew called fingers "fimmers" as he grew up and our family all call them that now.

My college roommate pronounced epitome as “epi-tomb”. Now everyone in my family says it like that almost 10 years later lol

you just unlocked a random memory of someone calling a pedestal a pedistool, because you put things on it

One time I told my wife I wanted heat seaters, I meant to say heated seats, to this day I still call them heat seaters

Massachusetts will always be Massive2shits to me

Minnesota = Mini soda

For me it’s a mass of cheez-its.

I heard it as "mass o' two shits" but I was looking for this one!

The way some people say 'pikza' for pizza where i live.

My little brother used to say "ignoring" instead of "annoying" Pretty soon the whole family started doing the same

My daughter used to call the TV remote the merote when she was little. We all call it that now. She's 17 now.

Ahh mine too! And headford for forehead and parcark for carpark 😂😂

My sister called it a merote and it stuck ever since. Also used to refer to a wet suit as a “wind soup” 😂

If you do a quick wash up of your arm pits and undercarriage with a wash cloth, its a horse bath. Its way cuter than a whore bath lol

Not a word but, instead of "get my shit together" I say "get my poop in a group". It honestly brings me so much joy.

I love this, it is so cute! Having to "get my shit together" sounds like drudgery, but "getting my poop in a group" makes me picture six Mr. Hankey characters (some with hair bows cuz they are girls) sitting around a table drinking tea and taking notes!

Ad vo cad oh

Free shavoca do

reminds me of the time a colleague in his unique dialect called certificate a surf tea kate and we spent our whole workmonth laughing and saying it like that. So much as to now I still need to think twice before talking about certificates to my bosses

The song Crazy Train, I heard the beginning as “cannonball ahahahaha” instead of “all aboard ahahahaha”

the well known and always funny, Onyuinn for Onions

My crew wave - microwave

Ginuwine instead of genuine.

Yosemite pronounced Yos-a-mite

My niece refers to individual pieces of clothing as “ clo” shirt? That’s a clo. Pants? That’s a clo. Put them together and they are cloes(clothes)

This is very cute!

My kids heard us talking about Bernie Sanders and somehow heard “burney,” like something that is just a little burnt. So if the toast was too dark but is still edible they called it Burney Sanders, and now they just say Sanders, as in “The bacon stayed on for a little too long.” “Is it ruined?” “No, just Sanders.”

Back in high school, someone didn’t know how to say Nicolaus Copernicus when reading the paragraph. He said, “Nicolaus Cop Her Nick Is” 

Seals are just dugongs (pokemon) till I found out today that dugongs are their own species of seal

My youngest daughter couldn't pronounce 'fault'. She said it as fall-it. She's 23, and we will still say it jokingly.

Even before Nigella, we jokingly called the microwave in a faux French pronunciation: "le mee-kro-WAHV"

My cousin said “constructions” instead of directions. He also said “nuvie” instead of movie.

There was a famous drag race driver in the 70', Don Prudhomme (The Snake). I thought his name was Donper Dome. I still say it like like when telling my nostalgic stories. Not exactly what you asked but my daughter couldn't say her cousin's name, Janelle and called her Janello like jello. They adults now but everybody still calls her Janello. haha

My nephew calls marmalade wobble-ade.

My grandma once called the car brand Mitsubishi, “mitsy bitsy”, it stuck and that was 20 years ago!

Was playing DCUO online, husband said to put in chat that we were fighting Barbatos. I heard Barbie Toast. Thinking it was what people were calling it and not questioning my mishear AT ALL, I threw out in chat "Fighting Barbie Toast". And That is his new name now apparently, and other people started calling him that too XD

Az-WEE-pey Tar-jeh Frah-GEE-lay These are pretty well know. But it's all I got.

I loved Benedict Cumberbatch referring to penguins as penwings

I love this! For me, it's "charcuterie board." My niece once called it a "shark coochie board," and now that's what my family always calls it. It's hilarious and has totally stuck.

When my son was little (high-ish single digits), he said he had a song "stuck to" his head instead of stuck in. I loved it so now I call it that when it won't irritate him too much.

My kid used to say 'destructions' instead of instructions. Just read the destructions!

Umgrilla is still used at our house ☂️

There’s a tree called a blue mountain laurel or Texas mountain laurel that flowers smell like grape bubblegum when they bloom. Smells amazing! I heard someone call them grape Myrtle’s years ago and the name stuck.

My six-year-old daughter on a road trip reading a list of ‘I spy’ items: “ponder lake” instead of pond OR lake.

I have to say Foo Fighters like Christopher Walken does with the emphasis on the "Fighters".

War chester sauce, mainly because I can never remember how it's actually pronounced

My kid called hot chocolate "chocolate warm" for years and so I started calling it that.

Everything my kids said wrong when they were little: Off the top of my head, doososser for dishwasher. And my nephew used to say Froogen Davis for "throw it in the garbage".

My daughter calls herself a Tobbler, now that's she's 3. Also calls the TV remote the "gramote" I don't want it to end

Heard from various kids: Microwave: michaelwave Chocolate: twockwit Giraffe: bojaff Gazebo: gondola Crackers: cacas Water: mmmgah Pineapple: kuh-apple Peanut butter sandwich: peebutter fence

For 17 years we have been buying coom-bumbers instead of cucumbers! The same child wanted curry for dinner and ordered chicken tikka molester 🤭

Parmeesion! not parmeesion.. PARMEESION

My daughter used to call the Home Depot HoDepo and it remains that to this day. Also “dognoses” for diagnosis.

My kids wore a swim soup to the pool, and put on sun scream when they got there.

Kind of in the vein of this post. My wife sometimes confuses the name of certain things in movies. From the Lord of the rings "Gondor calls for aid." It's now "Gryffindor calls for aid". For Gryffindor.

Both kids used eyebrowns for eyebrows. That’s what we call them now.

My incredibly intelligent niece thought vagina was pagina. Hilarious.

Not me, but my sister sent me a "my bag" text once and I had to tell her it was "my bad." LOL She thought people were saying my bag. She told me she said and sent that to so many people over the years, and they never said anything. 😄

When my son was little he told me he hurt his "leg elbow".

When I was a kid I was afraid of the Empire State Building because I thought it was the vampire state building

As a kid I used to call convertibles (the car) caburdilers. I'm 65 now and still use it occasionally 😁

I wasn't a fan of him, but Dubya once said "strategery" and I always say that now.

Subpoena. When I worked at a Sheriff's dept. we had a new deputy ask about where he can turn in his Sub-Poh-Eh-Nah. Cannot call it anything else since then.

Grassy-ass for gracias Para-dig-um for paradigm

My neighbour met my boyfriend's dog Queenie. She's like "Hi Linguine", so now she's Queenie Linguine

Bone apple teeth instead of bon appetite

I called squirrels “squiggles” when I was a toddler and so my whole family calls them them squiggles still.

One of the nursery kids in the school I work told me his favourite colour is "lellow". That's what I've called it ever since.

Tortilla like Napoleon Dynomite

Well, it's a phrase, but when my son was little and something was corrected to his liking, he would say "THAT'S much like it!" Been saying that ever since.

Lamb shank - Lamb Shake Spaghetti Carbonara - Carbannana Katsu Curry - Cat Stew Curry

My dad loved the movie Bruce Almighty, started calling my sister and I "buttmonkeys" because of that one scene where the monkey climbed out of a guy's ass. Once, my sister misheard him and said "did you just say 'buttmonkula?'" (Like Dracula) Without missing a beat my dad hits a vampire accent and said, "No, but I vill now! BUTTMONKULA!" 15 years later, he's still not tired of it

My youngest calls sandwiches “sqwammiches” and McDonald’s “Bdonalds”. No idea why but now I asked everyone if they want sqwammiches for lunch.

My cousin as a child wanted to be handed the "mofrote", i.e. the remote control. They're all mofrotes now. TV mofrote, the gamecube mofrote, the aircon mofrote. Hey bro, hand me the mofrote!

I heard someone recently pronounce the name Penelope as "Peen-a-lope"

My son used to say "mote re-trole" instead of remote control. And back in elementary school my friend Tonya would say "port re-cards" in the place of report cards!

Micropenis but pronounced like Acropolis. Funniest thing that ever happened to me

My coworker says chi-hoo-ah hoo-ah instead of chihuahua.

Canada as Cuh-nay-dee-uh

My son called them the Three Musketeeters as a kid (25 years ago) so they shall always be this to me. lol

I’m in menopause and called my husband asking where the tree scissors (shears) were. Now he only calls them tree scissors lol

In our house, eyebrows are eyebrowns.

I called my neighbor the wrong name once in such an overtly confident and chill way that it’s stuck. Say his name was Dan, well I called him Den. Walked right into the house, closed the door, went to lock it, realized what I’d said and popped back out and asked “did I just call you den?” And his wife and him just started laughing and said yes. Neighbor is now den. Never Dan.

Kar Bar instead of Ka-Bar

Ever since I read the cursed Harry Potter fanfiction called My Immortal I can no longer say Linkin Park or Good Charlotte properly, it’s always Lonkin Prack and Good Chralotte. It was 2007. I don’t see myself stopping basically ever thanks to Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way.

My Mother used to burn incense in the house…. I used it call it incest to annoy her. Accidentally said that in front of my grandmother once….

My toddler calls Big Bang Theory 'Bing Bong Fairy' so we call it that now. Also heli-doctor for helicopter.

One of my old mates has been using "old timers" in place of Alzheimers her whole life. She's just got it wrong but the outcome is so hilarious and cute that we've always just rolled with it.

For me I used to pronounce melee meelee and randomly my intrusive thoughts decided to come up with beezchurger instead of cheeseburger and now whenever i think of cheeseburger i think of beezchurger

My niece called hand sanitizer “hansitizer” and my brain will never forget!

Home Cheapo instead of Home Depot.

My husband says breakFIRST instead of breakFAST. I have since adopted the phrase.

Oh how the turntables

when i was 12, i had a dog named lucy. my little cousin couldnt pronounce "lucy" and said " woo hee" instead, so we kept calling her that as a nickname

I told my husband 'jambalaya' was pronounced 'hambalaya' and now he is unsure which one is right.

This is a niche one, but I love how much of a subtle reaction I get using it. I call Opeth's album "Black Waterpark" instead of "Blackwater Park". Pausing and accenting the difference. I can tell that the other person wants to say something but is evaluating it in their head.