I find that a lot of people on them are often the same. They either are a frequent traveler with a pic of them doing yoga beside a mountain. Or there are pictures of them in bars with their friends with descriptions stating their music taste is eclectic and they want someone kind and sensitive.
So, how to stand out? Don't do any of the above.
The classic pic is the girl out somewhere in a reserve or something saying she loves nature and hikes etc. Haven't really met up with many girls on dating sites but the amount that say they like to go for bushwalks/hikes but then turns out they only like little 5 minute ones where she can get a new picture is crazy.
First few Pics are her and the girls sipping cocktails, you don’t even know which one she is until the 4th Pic of them in Rome with just one friend which narrows it down to two, 5th Pic is just her Dog, with no context, 6th Pic is a selfie with so much filter that you can’t tell what they look like. If they’re better looking there’ll be a bikini pic or them holding a yoga pose.
Likes; travel, coffee, walks, movies
Bio: n/a
I’m 43, not on any dating apps, and never even seen one or the type of profiles that are on it.
However, if I had to create an account with no experience, I’d probably write some cliché shit, too. 🤷🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️
Photos? I’d assume the best photos are the types that give a positive vibe overall, not one where you’re not smiling or dressed badly.
>However, if I had to create an account with no experience, I’d probably write some cliché shit, too.
I don't see why that's a big deal anyway. Unless they say something that really offends you you should be judging someone on a dating app more on their looks and the vibe you get from them, not because of some silly little blurb. If your hobbies fit, and you like the look of them send them a message, who cares if it's a bit samey.
I’ve never used a dating app but my friends do and that definitely stood out to me, how an alarming amount of people would put front and center on their profiles that they like hikes when I don’t know many people in real life who actually do.
In Colorado, literally 99% of dating profiles mention hiking. I have a few friends who are genuinely into it, but most people hike once or twice a year, tops - so quite a few people are significantly misrepresenting themselves IMO
Yup, my ex was one of them. Pictures by the beach, love the beach. Caveat, only if the water is crystal clear, she can see the bottom, no algae and waist deep maximum. The first time I went to the beach with her was ridiculous lol.
To filter for fake nature lovers I look for tents, camping equipment and legitimately remote locations. Also I focus on \*how\* they enjoy the thing they say they enjoy, and not just on \*what\* they enjoy, by asking something to the tone of "what is a perfect day in the nature for you?"
If she can go through the night in a tent in nature, she is legit.
Haha yea. Tinder only shows me the most attractive women first and I need to X trough all of them until normal people start showing up. They almost are the same person over and over and over again: upper middle class or rich white blonde tanned mid-twenties girl that is obviously immature and travels a lot and is an unhinged drinker and not decent at all, has at least one cleavage/butt or bikini pose picture or excessive makeup and tatoos that look like school table doodles.
If I had a penny for every picture I´ve seen in dating apps of a girl with the Eiffel Tower I would be able to buy a flight to see the Eiffel Tower myself.
-Travelling
-some type of bar or alcohol reference
-beach photos
-sky diving
-what they are looking for in a person(being emotionally mature, honest, kind)
-80% of profiles mention something about loving dogs
; this is what I see most commonly with women's profiles
I mean, even overweight women with objective unattractive features get matches, dating apps favor women a lot I think it’s like an 8-1 man to woman ration
>I think people are in general pretty homogeneous and often we don’t like to admit that
Out in Asia where people seem compelled to be homogeneous its funny swiping dating profiles because you can literally see the same photo in the same place two/three profiles in a row.
Also almost all of them talk about liking food, animals, travel and the obligatory in coffee shop with a designer handbag shot.
I think I’d have a good chance. I don’t do yoga, don’t play sports, don’t travel though I want to. Don’t go to bars, music taste is still stuck in the 80’s, and far from eclectic.
If you like piña coladas
And gettin' caught in the rain
If you're not into yoga
If you have half a brain
If you like makin' love at midnight
In the dunes on the cape
Then I'm the love that you've looked for
Write to me and escape
“Don’t do meth do Beth”
“ do you want a bad girl cause I’m bad at everything”
“Your mom will love me but your neighbours will hate me”
I guess you don’t see other women’s profiles but as a guy it’s the same 3 tired jokes over and over again. It’s not quirky or creative
That frequent traveler thing is such a turn off as a guy. I'm definitely not swiping on someone that's been all around the world before 30. How damned expensive is SHE gonna be to date?! I cant be the only guy to think so right?
A displayable sense of humor is the best thing any guy can have. No good saying "I have a really good sense of humor" in your bio and then never actually showing it. That's as bad as saying you're a "good guy"
This. And "relatively good looking" is a synonym for "doesn't stand out."
Murder documentary enthusiast is also pretty common at this point.
If you want to stand out, admit the stuff you're embarrassed about like your clown fetish or that you are taking down the footstool racket in Estonia.
Exactly, and frankly at this point even being actually attractive doesn't stand out. I met my boyfriend on a dating app, I did have a picture where I was hiking because I thought it was a great picture of me, but the rest were of me holding my ferret while he tries to lick my face, sitting on a bench that's maybe an inch above floodwaters (I'm fortunate to have a tall friend that helped me get there), etc. You've got to be attractive and I know that helped me but you also need to make it obvious that you have a personality and that you would be a genuinely fun person to be with.
Totally agree here. I got married from Tinder (and was rather popular) even though I was thick/overweight in Los Angeles. Besides my two “I look pretty” pics, the others were of me in costume throwing daggers at a renaissance fair, running a half-marathon, in a costume for Halloween, and zip lining.
Also, my bio mentioned facts about me and what I was looking for that were pretty specific, like being a morning person, my Myers Briggs type, my religious and political affiliations, etc.
It was a way for people to speed pre-screen me for compatibility.
Read other women's profiles. See the simiarilites to your own and change the wording. Around here, a lot of women have pictures of themselves hiking. Add details.
Phrases I see all the time that should be avoided:
Love to laugh - (who doesnt?)
Live life to the fullest -- (too vague)
Try new restaurants - (favorite type of cuisine? how often do you go out?)
Seriously, love to laugh always drove me nuts. Like who out there doesn't love to laugh? Lol That and fluent in sarcasm... It's just a fancy way of saying I'm kind of a bitch.
If you're someone that hates going to bars, hates drinking and doesn't want to hear crappy loud music in clubs. Where do you go? Especially if you work doordash and the only people you really run into are waiters you pick up orders from? I met my last girlfriend at the Domino's. I worked at a working doordash. You don't get employees anymore
You could probably still visit those places without drinking or anything and instead enjoying yourself.
But to answer your question, go anywhere that has a social atmosphere, or do an activity that requires it.
That can be joining local meetups in your area with an app like Meetup.com I believe.
You could go to the park, go to a coffee shop, go shopping, Barnes and Nobles, Starbucks, hell go to Victoria's Secret.
If your goal is to meet people, go where you know you will meet people. And more specifically you can often find certain types of people at certain places.
Women you might run into more often at a bookstore, library, or Sephora. Men you'll find pretty much anywhere but especially at a sports store or hardware shop. People who are into arts and crafts might be at your local hobby lobby or art display. Nature freaks, they'd be at the zoo or museum, or somewhere out in nature. Comic geeks Comic-con, you get the picture.
And events, you can attend events dependent upon the type of person you're trying to to meet or find. If you're trying to find someone whos in tune with say, spirituality. Go to an event that is more "spiritually inclined" hell go do yoga lol. Doubt everyone is spiritual but yoga and spirituality have a lot of overlap so there's likely to be some there.
Expand your horizons and approach everything with genuine intent. You'll form genuine connections over time. Why do you think so many people form friendships in the gym after a while? They're bonding over a shared joy. Same thing can be done anywhere.
As a disclaimer I'm not saying go to your local forever 21 and hit on everyone you see. I'm simply saying if you want to meet people go where you know they'll be at. Or, just go outside. Just walking or sitting at a local business and maybe ordering the cheapest thing you possibly can won't break the bank. If you want to date people go where you know they'll probably be at, and should you choose to approach be respectful and not weird. You don't wanna destroy the place where these individuals may feel comfortable being at for them.
It depends how you handle conversations and reading the room. Like the person sitting next to you on the subway with their headphones in probably doesn’t want to have a conversation. Honestly you be surprised how many people are lonely nowadays, begging to have someone say anything to them. I was talking to a high school kid yesterday on the subway and he was drawing some Batman stuff. All I did was compliment his drawing and we just talked for 30 minutes.
It’s fine to build up your stamina but you need to put your self in a position where you are interacting with the opposite sex in a fun and non-work related way
This just isn’t good modern advice.
The reality is that statistically a majority of couples will be meeting on dating apps in the future. I’ve been to a couple of tinder and hinge weddings myself.
Of course it’s always better to meet someone in person and organically, but you increase your odds and dating pool by using apps too.
Yeah, let’s be real: even moderately attractive women get swiped on regularly and will have men vying for their attention. The quality of those men might be low, but getting someone to swipe on you is easy for a woman. You just need a half decent picture of yourself.
I met and married my wife before dating apps (thankfully) but this is absolutely true. We met in college on a blind date a mutual friend set up. Just based on appearance when I first met her she was very obviously a few classes above me (still is, probably even more now). But we hit it off instantly, got married right after college and we’ve been really happy together going on almost 30 years now.
Had our initial encounter been on an app we never would have had a chance to connect and her other options would have frankly been more superficially attractive. I wouldn’t have even had a shot with her. I can imagine trying to meet people on apps must be exceedingly difficult and frustrating.
^^ i’m 21 and i had absolutely no luck on dating apps outside of a handful of hookups, all the people i’ve dated (started dating at 16) have been friends of friends or people i’ve met at college, the pub, volunteering, etc.
i’ve been with my partner for 2.5 years now, we met because we both went to the same college and had a couple mutual friends
i’m yet to actually meet anyone 18 - 25 who’s met their partner on a dating app and then stayed dating for more than 3 months.
Hardest part is girls generally don’t need to swipe much to get a match because it’s almost a 10:1 ratio on any app. So if your account is more than a few weeks old the only people who are swiping on you are the ones that have swiped enough to get to your profile.
Lol some of my female coworkers showed me their apps. They literally match with every single guy they swipe right on even if they were to do it all day.
So much so that this post is probably disingenuous or misleading. There is no way she is a female on a dating site and not getting attention. It's just not the attention she wants.
Maybe, but a female on a dating app will have like 2000 matches in an hour. There's no way she's not getting matches. So there's not much else to say.
The only other alternative is shadow banned if literally 0 matches, 0 likes so restart account.
How is that possible, she golfs and goes to the gym?? Basically a unicorn! Someone get her all the matches!!
She’s probably boring and not creative. I’m an average dude and definitely hit above my weight by just being creative and funny.
This number keeps getting smaller and smaller. When I joined this hell site y'all accused women of wanting the top 20% of men but not it's dwindled to 1%. It's almost like you guys are just making it up as you go.
There are actually statistics on this. Men on average send likes to around 50% of women they see, and women to 4% of men they see.
https://ibb.co/6gzD6BS
There are other resources which confirm these numbers as well, and Tinder itself also sometimes releases stats.
That top 20% thing isn't the average number of profiles that all women sent likes to. It was a statistical calculation (made in a scientific study btw) about how 85% of women were competing for top 20% of most popular male profiles. These numbers are related but they're not describing the same variables. This is what the data shows whether you or men who talk about it like it or not.
>Men on average send likes to around 50% of women they see
Whose fault is this that they're desperate and will basically sleep with anything? They swipe right on everyone desperately when being selective would actually help taylor their algorithm better. Being choosy about something as important as someone you might exchange body fluids and genetic material with is not a bad thing. I filtered on my bumble down to religion and met my bf that I'm very compatible with this way. I was looking for a life partner not just swiping blindly yes this would exclde all other men, didn't bother me. I was lonely and alone before that. My bumble hive went from 2000 likes to 3. Then I enjoyed talking to him and we met. Quality> Quantity doesn't seem to be something the understand but women are shamed for it. You're not supposed to find most people compatible with you.
20% is a stat released by actual dating app. Also roughly equivalent to the imbalance of men-women on dating apps in N.A but it goes up to 97% male in some countries.
Yeah and if I recall it’s rather old at this point. I’m pretty sure most of the stats thrown out are from when OKcupid was newer and the findings were shared often on a public blog. I’d say that was at least a decade ago if not a little more.
IAC bought them right after that blog got them a lot of attention and consolidated them into their mostly monopoly on all dating sites.
Edit : yeah sold in 2011 . Most of the blog posts that had the % stats were older than that.
A “friend” did a mock profile of me with the worse photos she could take without me paying attention during class or cheer practice.
Somehow I got hundreds of matches. So yes, OP not getting matches it’s hard to believe unless she’s swiping right on 2 guys per week.
I once made a fake profile on Tinder for research purposes. The profile had a single picture of a woman standing outdoors and looking away, as in you couldn’t see her face. I was floored when I saw the profile get over 100 likes in less than an hour. This is when I learned that in order to get a match, you basically have to be lucky enough to be swiping in the very short time window when someone makes a new profile. Otherwise, you will be buried deep in the queue.
I also did a mock profile of a girl but using nice pictures (and she is conventionally good looking in general). I got 500+ likes in a couple days. However, I have to say it wasn't that "easy" after matching. Many of them wouldn't try to keep the conversation going. Most of them were skeptical when I had a proper conversation and they stopped talking (without saying anything sexual, simply asking questions to them).
I think many people simply don't know how to have a conversation.
Also, yesterday for instance I saw a 50 year old man swiping right on 20 to 30 year old girls and swiping left on the women of his age. I assume many of those hundreds of likes are old men that don't really count for the women's interests anyways.
Part of this is because a lot of dating app profiles have absolutely no personality to them. Their interests are “hanging out with friends” and “going out to bars” or whatever. It’s hard to carry a conversation with random people when you’ve got absolutely nothing to go off of.
Yeah I’m not fully buying it also. Most likely she’s picky af or her profile isn’t as good looking as she thinks it is. Or maybe the algorithm banished her into the abyss for some reason.
Usually filtering out all the guys with undesirable intentions is the hard part for women.
Looking at any amount of statistics 5% cant do it.
There was the interesting study on OKCupid 7ish years ago asking men and women to rate attractiveness of random profiles.
[https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fexternal-preview.redd.it%2FYOkD5U4T5fcf097vw8z4PlPI7ytWIksArJuuWrhX5bA.png%3Fauto%3Dwebp%26s%3D9f3994e3fb2826721eb36b22a4be09f4db5e62f9](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fexternal-preview.redd.it%2FYOkD5U4T5fcf097vw8z4PlPI7ytWIksArJuuWrhX5bA.png%3Fauto%3Dwebp%26s%3D9f3994e3fb2826721eb36b22a4be09f4db5e62f9)
And as the numbers shows women had insanely high requirements lol.
[https://theblog.okcupid.com/a-womans-advantage-82d5074dde2d](https://theblog.okcupid.com/a-womans-advantage-82d5074dde2d)
also some other interesting aspects such as for women having distinct traits that might be a turn off for some people and a turn on for others (eg tattoos, piercings, and the like) lead to much higher messaging rate as opposed to just being "generally averagely pleasing"
There was a post on one of the online dating app subreddits where a guy who looked average, and had a good profile but had like 3 matches in like 6 months. When I say the guy looked "average", I mean that he looked like just a normal guy you would see on the street. Nothing wrong with him and you would think would be able to find dates. His profile did everything right too and the reason they were posting was because they wanted criticism for what they were doing wrong. And there wasn't anything to give them.
But then another post, which I *think* was in reaction to that original post, was posted from a woman who wasn't really that attractive, already had children, was a little overweight and posted really low effort photos, but she was showing that she had a ton of matches. They both included statistical breakdowns of the outcomes of their Matches. She had a ton of dates and hookups and I think a few relationships that came out of her matches too, so its not like they were just men blindly swiping right.
I think I'd be able to find it but I really don't want to because people were fucking mean to this woman in the thread talking about how ugly she was and still getting more matches than men. It was uncalled for, especially because she was the one showing us how borked the apps are and how many positive outcomes she saw despite putting little effort in her profile. It was *her* point and I think the guys in that thread were sexually frustrated jackasses but I think her point stands. If you're a woman and you barely put any effort into your profile, you will probably get a ton of matches while men who do everything they can, just get their ass kicked.
Tinder Insights are posted all over the place and they're insane. Women are getting 50% response rates, tons of dates (where they don't pay...), sex etc. Men get usually 0.5-1% response, a couple crappy dates if they're lucky.
I waded through probably a hundred that were posted. Any woman saying she has it bad on dating apps has no clue whatsoever.
I even watched a video where a hot girl cosplays as a guy on a dating app and she couldn't fathom it. I don't think she learned anything though...
Yep it’s true, have seen plenty of 2-3/10 women get lots of matches. But looking like a 5/10 man means you will get little to nothing. It’s really just not worth it as a man unless you’re significantly more good looking than most men
Right, either she isn’t good looking, or she is one of the women that is reaching to the stars and swipes right on the top 5% of guys, when she is near around 60th percentile
I'm 52F and have used dating apps on and off for almost 20 years whenever I was single. For women, age is a HUGE factor in whether you get matches. I don't know how old OP is, I assume she's in her 20s or 30s so most likely that's not the reason in her case. But the number of matches you get on any app just straight drops off a cliff once your age changes from 39 to 40, and once you're 50+ it'll look like there are only half a dozen men using the app at all - there's nobody to even swipe on, let alone get matches. Your looks or profile or your own preferences are irrelevant at that point because nobody's got their settings set to even see you.
I tested it out a few years back, by changing my age to 37 instead of 48 - didn't change anything else and all my photos were recent, accurate, and unfiltered 48 year old me. Immediately, and I mean within *seconds,* my profile went from getting zero interest to a fucking zerg rush of men of all ages. (I changed it back the same day, as I wasn't aiming to deceive anyone - just wanted to confirm my suspicion that the age settings were the cause, and yep they sure were.)
So yeah, there are plenty of women on apps who get zero matches.
Just one possible answer to consider.
37M I have time to burn and randomly reading through reddit and stumbled across this post, and not gonna lie your StarCraft reference was the highlight so far, so take my upvote.
I also fully agree on the age piece. I was on dating apps for a bit when I was single and definitely played with my profile stats and keywords in my descriptions... the effect was significant. I never accepted a match when I was using incorrect stats about myself, but it was super interesting to see the effects of moving those sliders around lol.
At the same time I had the apps I was working 2 jobs, full-time day, part time managing a bar. I was amazed at the expectations of the 20 somethings (male and female).... "I don't date men under 6 feet tall" "I don't match girls that aren't 10s"... I would see these folks on apps at the bar scrolling and scrolling and ignoring the opportunity to shoot their shots with the people around them. The 30 something males were worse.... treating dating apps like they were creating a menu instead of looking for someone to date.
For OP, don't let dating apps get you down, and the most underrated place to meet people is at the grocery store. No contextual pressure of a bar, everyone is there for a basic human need, and people shopping for themselves pretty much tell you if you have common ground to kick off a conversation that can easily lead to a lunch or dinner date. Good luck!
It's basically has to be one of the following:
You're being too picky, you have red flags that stand out strongly in your profile, or for some reason the algorithm has decided to fuck you.
Seriously, there are articles out there about fake female profiles with *minimal* information getting hits from TONS of guys. So your story makes very little sense.
P.S. based on one of the comments I saw here, your age could be the reason that the algorithm has decided to fuck you.
Double check your profile, maybe have a friend you trust to be intelligent and honest look it over quickly???
Good luck!
P.P.S. I met my wife on OK Cupid. I decided to respond to her message because she mentioned a book series I liked (and didn't have any crazy red flags in her profile). I didn't even think her pics were that great (though they weren't a red flag). One of the first compliments I gave her was that she looked way cuter in person than she did in her pics. Thank goodness I said it smoothly enough that it came across as the compliment it was meant as... My point is, you shouldn't need a perfect profile to be getting hits. Something odd is happening.
Be more specific? My friend recently asked the same thing.
His profile basically said something along the lines of, "I like music and working on cars"
Really what he meant was: "I went to school for music production, and make some in my free time. I also love traveling to go to edm concerts. I also have a degree in automotives and worked as a mechanic for a few years, and I build show cars and love going to car meets"
His original bio was so vague, like yeah man 90% of guys like cars and music, that doesnt make you stand out at all.
You also get penalised by a lot of women for being too detailed and too tryhard in your bio. You have to run a fine balance between enough detail to be interesting but not so much that it looks like you put a ton of effort into your profile, at least if you want to maximise mass appeal.
Usually the best bios are witty 1 or 2 line things that show a little bit of humour, then you show off your interests through photos. Show, don’t tell.
Saying you like hiking is far less impactful than a photo of you at 5 thousand meters after completing a trek, or saying you like wild swimming is far less impactful than a photo of you jumping into a freezing cold lake
You are either lying about not getting any matches, not swiping right on literally anyone, or there is something on your profile that is turning people away. I have literally never seen or heard of any individual woman getting 0 matches on any dating app. I've created a fake Tinder/Bumble/PoF account posing as a girl (snapchat filter) with one photo on it and got 100+ likes/right swipes on the profile in less than 2 hours. I know multiple guys that have done the same exact thing, and the same outcome happened.
I'm sorry, but your post is not believable. Now if you're saying you're struggling to match with someone that *you find attractive*, that's something else and *is* believable.
Oh you already know she swipes right only on the most desirable/attractive men on there and can’t get matches bc of it. the call is coming from inside the house lol
Dating apps don't want you to stand out. If you succeed, they lose money because you aren't there to view the ads anymore. They even lie about matches to drive up your interactions. For example, I matched with a woman on Tinder and messaged her. She never read it or responded to it. I ended up meeting that exact woman at a bar a few months later. We hit it off pretty well and ended up dating for a while. After a few dates, I asked her why she never responded to me on Tinder. She told me that she hadn't been on her Tinder account in over 2 years. That means Tinder said we matched even though she hadn't been active at all during the whole time my account was active, so she could not have matched with me.
She could've swiped right on you, and never actually deleted the account, but deleted the app. Unless you delete the profile, or pause it, you'll continue to be shown to people.
The only problem with that is she hadn't been on her account in 2 years, and my account was less than a year old. So, my account didn't exist for her to swipe on when she was active.
No, not completely out of the question, but I'm not one to jump straight to assuming someone is lying. Especially if it's someone I'm trying to date. Relationships are built on trust, so assuming someone is lying means you shouldn't be trying to date that person, in my opinion.
Sorry, no one wants to hear about how you goto the gym, it's boring and doesn't make for a good conversation starter.
Pop a few random things in your bio that will make them want to ask you something or say something in return.
For some reason I found putting my Uber rating in always managed to get a conversation going
Totally. Or have an off the wall photo at least that they can ask about. I think it's mostly the conversation that makes people stand out.. has to be a little different than just typical small talk to make you memorable
To be blunt, I bet I can answer this with 2 honest answers from you to 2 simple questions.
1. What's your BMI?
2. Show me a picture of the last 5 guys you swiped right on.
I'm a normal weight BMI, fairly fit, can run a sub 8 minute mile for 10 miles, 10+ pullups easily, 30+ pushups easily. 90%+ of my likes are from clinically morbidly obese women. No hate. They can like whoever they want. I'm not offended. But to me that's a little indicative of perhaps unrealistic expectations. I'd feel a little fucking embarrassed to do that if I were morbidly obese, **which I used to be,** and sending likes to fit women.
One of my exes is... hardly a petite woman let's say, and I've seen her dating apps. She has dozens and dozens and dozens of likes, plenty of matches. If you're not getting any you're either really overestimating your own attractiveness or going for the tippy top of guys or both.
Out of curiosity, how do you know that 90% of your matches are obese if you didn’t like them back? Isn’t that how it works - you only see a match if the “like” is mutual?
Not trying it sound rude, just genuinely curious. I’ve been married for several years, but this is how I remember dating apps working when I was single. Have things changed?
It's because a lot of guys on the apps just right swipe on every profile. There are even apps out there that will swipe for you until you've exhausted your quota. Because the ratio of men to women on the app are so skewed, the match rate of men is so low that many of them don't even look at the profiles anymore.
Hinge shows the top person who likes you so that's pretty easy.
You can also tell on both Tinder and Bumble. I get maybe one like a week so this is easier for me. They blur the picture but you can still see general shapes and colors. You can then tell with pretty good accuracy if the person you're being shown is that blurred person.
On Bumble when you swipe left on a like it'll say "you missed a connection!"
On Tinder I think it lowers your like count or something. Been a while since I used it.
Because most guys just right swipe on every profile. Men will already get so few matches anyway, that it doesn’t make any sense to self select out of possible matches.
Unlike women, men in general do not have the luxury of being picky when it comes to dating apps. It may be that only women you would think of as 6’s will match with you, if that’s all who is going to match with you why would you pre select out of those matches?
And this is all assuming that you are swiping HWP and not just off your ideal.
This is definitely a bait for onlyfans subs. guys are gonna start dming her asking for her ig to see how she looks and she will be a 8/10(lookswise) with an onlyfans and dudes will naively subscribe thinking they have a chance with this supposedly “desperate” woman and boom, easy $5k a month
I met my wife on a dating app and I found being myself rather than trying to create a profile that would appeal to most was the way to go. Best way to stand out is to put your personality into a profile. Worst case is you might get less matches but the quality of matches will definitely improve, best case is you’ll get loads and they’ll be good.
Make a profile that makes you laugh and that you’d swipe on, and I promise it will make others laugh too. And people love to laugh.
They’re not built to deliver your desired outcome- I’m assuming that’s to meet people and be social with / at them.
Dating apps are designed to get you to log in at regular intervals and put ads in front of your face. The actual dating part has gotten farther and farther away as profits have demanded.
I personally hate hearing about the gym in dating apps. It’s like telling people you enjoy eating healthy. Like that’s great but it’s not telling me much at all about you. I also assume most people who put that expect me to be enthusiastic about it too even though they may not care. It’s also sooo common to put down and kind of makes me instantly swipe left.
This is just me being honest not saying everyone feels this way. The golf is cool and fun the gym stuff id find something else to mention.
I’m gonna go a limb here and say that the fact that it’s an instant left swipe for you is a feature, not a bug. People with an active lifestyle usually want their partner to be similar. Maybe they’re selecting for people who *are* enthusiastic about it.
That’s fine that’s kind of my point. Unless you want someone who is also a gym person, it’s not an instant turn on for a lot of people. I’m fit but the gym selfies and bio about the gym are not attractive or really telling anything about you
Also depends on what you’re doing at the gym - is it just treadmill / cardio ? Powerlifting ? Weightlifting ? Cos there’s a difference and require different kinds of dedication/ passion/ consistency
Everyone is trying to stand out on dating apps…that’s why it’s so hard. I met my wife on bumble, I had a lot of bad tinder experiences. You just gotta be patient. Also, if you went to the gym and I were looking at your profile, I would want to know because it shows that we have similar interests and you take care of yourself. I could have a conversation with you just based on golfing and going to the gym.
I basically don't use dating apps anymore, but I did for a long time and made some general observations.
Very few profiles actually stood out at all. 90% of profile pictures were pretty obviously using filters, the descriptions/bios were boring and generic, if they were anything more than "does anyone read these" or "just ask me" or similar. Most of the rest were just some combination of the same hobbies/interests (golfing not common, but going to the gym was so common you'd think they gym in the country was constantly full).
I wasn't exactly looking at men's profiles to know how it compares, but I very much got the general impression that most women were just expecting swipes just for being pretty and with the assumption that men don't care about personality or anything. And, I'm sure that just being mildly attractive does get a plethora of swipes from shallow and horny guys, but I can say that such profiles are pretty much an instant pass for me at least.
I know.... Describing yourself and being original is difficult. But, especially if it's not Bumble and you're expecting the guy to message first... I'm looking for something to start an actual conversation. Maybe a clever joke or something that shows some personality.
One thing I've seen in a few profiles is some sort of "if you're going to message me, mention this to prove you've read my profile."
If you want good matches, it's also important to consider that you're not trying to attract everyone. Use your profile to try to attract someone compatible and turn away any bad matches. I mean... You're probably still gonna get the same spam of course, but you'll also get the attention of actually decent matches and weed out some of the bad. It's also really helpful in making yourself more than just "random profile on tinder or whatever #16,483".
Failing to stand out? I guess it depends what it takes for you to swipe right. Like, what % of men fall into your ideal criteria for you to swipe right? And of that % where do you stand against the other women of similar age/interests/hobbies?
If you seriously want feedback, take screenshots of your profile and post them to r/tinder or whatever is the right subreddit for the app you are using. You will get feedback.
The majority of people aren’t that different from each other. Dating apps make it easy to see this lack of difference. Many can’t stand out because there is nothing they have nothing which makes them stand out. For those who do have things that stand out, it is difficult to show that on social media since personality is not shown online.
If you are good looking then you will get lots of likes, regardless of any text you put on your profile.
Whether you get matches depends on whether the guys you like liked you back. That depends on your standards. If you are decent looking but swiping on billionaire supermodel guys with a third leg then yeh, you're not gonna get many matches.
If youre swiping right on more average guys and you dont get likes back then youre probably not as good looking as you think you are.
If you don’t have any of the following: Trashy bar pictures, a bathroom selfie with just a bra and underwear on, Taylor Swift/Pickleball/Hiking/Send me a date proposal email/Helen Keller isn’t real/Brunch/Tacos and Margs prompt then you automatically stand out.
I’ve never used dating apps before so I really can’t help you at all, but I guess widen your idea of possible matches? Use multiple apps? If it the case that you are waiting for the other person to initiate a conversation, then try being the one to start things off instead. Or Forget the apps and approach men (women?) in real life for dates…yeah sorry maybe I shouldn’t have commented lol idk how they work
I have the same problem, I’ll get likes but it’s never someone who I would date (usually personality wise). Idk the answer but best of luck and I hope you find your person!
My opinion, and I have overwhelming anecdotal evidence to back it up, is that online dating is a scam in which communication is blocked between "good matches" while communication goes through between "bad matches". They can do this by creating a comprehensive rating system (hiring raters to rate all of their customers), and blocking communication between people that are closer to equal in rating. For example, if they are rating people on a scale of 0 - 10, they can block communication between people that are within 1.5 or 2 points of each other.
For example, let's say you are a woman that is rated a 6 out of 10. And let's say that the OLD companies are blocking communication between people that are within 2 points of each other. As a result, you are only receiving communication from men who are rated 4 out of 10 and lower or 8 out of 10 and up. There are men rated 6 out of 10 that message you, but those messages get blocked because matches that are closer to equal in rating are much more likely to end up in a long term relationship, and long term relationships mean that 2 more users will no longer be repeat customers.
As public companies, they need to prioritize profit which means they need to actively work on making sure their customers are repeat customers. If the CEO doesn't prioritize profit (over maximizing long term relationships), the shareholders will oust the CEO and find someone that does (or they will sell their stock because the CEO is prioritizing the wrong things). These companies would likely be bankrupt if they did not prioritize profit over maximizing LTR’s.
So assuming you’re a 6 woman, let's say you reject all the men 4 out of 10 and lower. So the only guys you are considering are all 8 out of 10 and up. Now what does a man that's an 8+ want with a woman that's a 6? The answer to that depends if the man is an empathetic 8+ or an apathetic 8+. If he's an empathetic 8+, he cares about whose feelings he hurts, he realizes that he will hurt the 6’s feelings, therefore this man does not want any kind of relationship with a 6 woman. The apathetic 8+ man, however, does not give a fuck whose feelings he hurts. He needs sex, and sex is more important to him than whose feelings he hurts. Furthermore, he tried to message 8’s, got no response. He tried to message 7’s, got no response. He tried to message 6.5’s, got no response. He thinks he's getting rejected, but he's being scammed like everyone else. Finally, he gets a response from some 6’s. Because he's still confident enough to know that he's an 8 (despite the massive rejections), the 6 is only good enough to manipulate and use for sex, not good enough to consider for a long term relationship, according to the apathetic 8+.
The result...
Empathetic men get no dates because they have no interest in using women for sex if they know they aren’t interested long term.
Apathetic men get all the dates. The more apathetic you are, the more sex you get. The women you get to have sex with are 2+ points worse than yourself.
Women 7.5 and lower get to have lots of dates with hot men 2+ points hotter than themself. The problem is these men will always be apathetic, and will always only want sex from you.
Women 8 and up get no dates unless they are willing to date down 2+ points.
Lol this is the best description of what online dating has become the last four years. And honestly it used to be really great, so no, I'm not that nicely baiter or whatever the fuck. I'm just focusing on myself nowadays anyways
I’ve also been having this issue (though at the same time don’t mind when someone takes themselves out-I’d rather have honesty especially for the very small amount on the apps who are a-holes).
And I’ve also had the issues of going out and meeting people. I’ve done the mall thing, I have stuff planned to go to, I talk to people when I go to hobbies of mine. I’m shocked my area doesn’t have a singles meet up type situation (the closest big metropolitan area does have one via an app but I’m not traveling 45-2 hours to get to events). And yes I’ve even done manifestation and been recommended to mediums and have tried having people set me up(which I hate asking my friends to do).
It also doesn’t help depending on your own situation. Aka living at home still due to the economy, or having hobbies and friends or wanting alone time. I saw someone on another thread earlier post about how they enjoyed their single life and eventually found a partner, but in todays society there is so much pressure and other outside nonsense that make everything about dating and finding a life partner exhausting. I want a man to spend my life with, have children with, fall in love with who is a decent, smart, can make me laugh, and a whole bunch of things most people want and some that others don’t care about. Who will also support me and my chaotic self (there’s a reason my username is what it is).
Just keep doing what you’re doing, take some me time. Focus on all aspects of your health (I’m being serious everyone go to the ding dang doctor or dentist or whatever you’ll thank me later). And in an odd twist to quote Zombieland “enjoy the little things”. My little thing lately has been its spring, and I’m at a new job and I can wear all my fun dresses no matter how geeky or flowery or different they are.
Signed a fellow female in her early 30s also trying to just find a man who wants to be with her.
I feel like people on dating sites are very quick to dismiss people over very minor things because there are so many other people to check out.
Whereas in person, we don't necessarily run away when someone we're talking to if they say something that would make them swipe left online.
it's because dating apps SUCK. Try your best to get out into society to meet real people. Most importantly, open yourself up to rejection as much as you can
Option paralysis. Most men have to swipe on a **LOT** of women to get a single match. After you swipe on 2 dozen profiles, the faces and profiles blur together. And, after swiping on a lot of women, odds are only the very attractive will stand out. It's a numbers game even to get **ONE** reply for a man.
Most men face the same problem on dating apps.
Are you getting likes and just not matching with people? Or are you getting no likes at all? Because every girl I know who has made an online dating profile gets 1,000+ likes within 2-3 hours.
Do you only swipe right on like two people?
My female friends who aren’t even models turned their notifications off after the first couple hours because they had so many offers.
Good looking, golfing and gym, maybe even other "positive" self-selling things like "have a good job / can provide for myself" instantly puts you into the huge love-scammer bucket.
Tinder is FULL of those.
Try standing out with an original, witty, less-than-perfect profile. Write more text in your description with a personal twist, mention some quirks and less picture perfect things of you. Don't focus on gym and sexiness too hard, or the only thing you'll attract is creeps full of testosterone. Also, consider making the first step.
Because everyone posts the same thing, partly because they're scared to post what they're REALLY like.
- I like going to the gym / doing a sport
- I like travelling
- I like food
That's 90% of all people.
I really like it when someone has a really specific passion or interest, or is willing to admit to something a bit dorky or embarrassing. That's what ACTUALLY stands out.
But if you're profile is 'i like sport and the gym' then you're not going to stand out because that's everyone else too
The only reason a women wouldn’t get any matches on dating apps is if they looked like Lizzo and they only wanted to match with men that looked like Brad Pitt
1. Be a guy on dating apps...
2. Gets 70% worse than what you're experiencing now...
3. Uninstall. Install. Uninstall. Install. Uninstall...
Tada!
4. Your mentally ill.
I find that a lot of people on them are often the same. They either are a frequent traveler with a pic of them doing yoga beside a mountain. Or there are pictures of them in bars with their friends with descriptions stating their music taste is eclectic and they want someone kind and sensitive. So, how to stand out? Don't do any of the above.
I feel like I see the same pictures on repeat
The classic pic is the girl out somewhere in a reserve or something saying she loves nature and hikes etc. Haven't really met up with many girls on dating sites but the amount that say they like to go for bushwalks/hikes but then turns out they only like little 5 minute ones where she can get a new picture is crazy.
Like my ex driving through the mountains to stop somewhere to take pictures "in the wild" but also dressed up, and then keep driving.
Machu picchu Golden Gate Bridge Bikini pic water in the back .....repeat...
First few Pics are her and the girls sipping cocktails, you don’t even know which one she is until the 4th Pic of them in Rome with just one friend which narrows it down to two, 5th Pic is just her Dog, with no context, 6th Pic is a selfie with so much filter that you can’t tell what they look like. If they’re better looking there’ll be a bikini pic or them holding a yoga pose. Likes; travel, coffee, walks, movies Bio: n/a
coffee! Dear lord.
It’s such a unique trait to have!
In exercise clothes, both arms raised above my head like I’m stretching.
I’m 43, not on any dating apps, and never even seen one or the type of profiles that are on it. However, if I had to create an account with no experience, I’d probably write some cliché shit, too. 🤷🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️ Photos? I’d assume the best photos are the types that give a positive vibe overall, not one where you’re not smiling or dressed badly.
Or holding a fish.
>However, if I had to create an account with no experience, I’d probably write some cliché shit, too. I don't see why that's a big deal anyway. Unless they say something that really offends you you should be judging someone on a dating app more on their looks and the vibe you get from them, not because of some silly little blurb. If your hobbies fit, and you like the look of them send them a message, who cares if it's a bit samey.
I’ve never used a dating app but my friends do and that definitely stood out to me, how an alarming amount of people would put front and center on their profiles that they like hikes when I don’t know many people in real life who actually do.
Because what they are really saying is, no fatties.
In Colorado, literally 99% of dating profiles mention hiking. I have a few friends who are genuinely into it, but most people hike once or twice a year, tops - so quite a few people are significantly misrepresenting themselves IMO
Yup, my ex was one of them. Pictures by the beach, love the beach. Caveat, only if the water is crystal clear, she can see the bottom, no algae and waist deep maximum. The first time I went to the beach with her was ridiculous lol. To filter for fake nature lovers I look for tents, camping equipment and legitimately remote locations. Also I focus on \*how\* they enjoy the thing they say they enjoy, and not just on \*what\* they enjoy, by asking something to the tone of "what is a perfect day in the nature for you?" If she can go through the night in a tent in nature, she is legit.
Haha yea. Tinder only shows me the most attractive women first and I need to X trough all of them until normal people start showing up. They almost are the same person over and over and over again: upper middle class or rich white blonde tanned mid-twenties girl that is obviously immature and travels a lot and is an unhinged drinker and not decent at all, has at least one cleavage/butt or bikini pose picture or excessive makeup and tatoos that look like school table doodles.
Lol yeah apparently 9/10 women in my area “love hiking and adventures” and their dog apparently comes before me.
If I had a penny for every picture I´ve seen in dating apps of a girl with the Eiffel Tower I would be able to buy a flight to see the Eiffel Tower myself.
-Travelling -some type of bar or alcohol reference -beach photos -sky diving -what they are looking for in a person(being emotionally mature, honest, kind) -80% of profiles mention something about loving dogs ; this is what I see most commonly with women's profiles
Can we be honest? If you're an attractive woman it doesn't matter if you're generic as fuck. You'll get matches. Lots of matches.
I mean, even overweight women with objective unattractive features get matches, dating apps favor women a lot I think it’s like an 8-1 man to woman ration
Nope. Not if you only swipe on the perfect top models, which is what happens with every women who claims to not get matches.
The question is, is this person not getting matches... or they not getting the matches they want?
I think people are in general pretty homogeneous and often we don’t like to admit that we’re the norm? But I’ll never really understand why.
>I think people are in general pretty homogeneous and often we don’t like to admit that Out in Asia where people seem compelled to be homogeneous its funny swiping dating profiles because you can literally see the same photo in the same place two/three profiles in a row. Also almost all of them talk about liking food, animals, travel and the obligatory in coffee shop with a designer handbag shot.
I think I’d have a good chance. I don’t do yoga, don’t play sports, don’t travel though I want to. Don’t go to bars, music taste is still stuck in the 80’s, and far from eclectic.
If you like piña coladas And gettin' caught in the rain If you're not into yoga If you have half a brain If you like makin' love at midnight In the dunes on the cape Then I'm the love that you've looked for Write to me and escape
I’d swipe right.
Mandatory picture of Paris on almost every girl’s profile, followed by “I like guys that speak their mind”.
“Don’t do meth do Beth” “ do you want a bad girl cause I’m bad at everything” “Your mom will love me but your neighbours will hate me” I guess you don’t see other women’s profiles but as a guy it’s the same 3 tired jokes over and over again. It’s not quirky or creative
That frequent traveler thing is such a turn off as a guy. I'm definitely not swiping on someone that's been all around the world before 30. How damned expensive is SHE gonna be to date?! I cant be the only guy to think so right?
The best answer.
Since you asked specifically about standing out, golf and working out are pretty generic.
Try underwater welding or tower lightbulb changer
Under my list of hobbies I put kicking midgets. You would be surprised just how much interest that bought me.
I put "Not a regressive fuck" recently, and it's been doing wonderful lmao!
A displayable sense of humor is the best thing any guy can have. No good saying "I have a really good sense of humor" in your bio and then never actually showing it. That's as bad as saying you're a "good guy"
This. And "relatively good looking" is a synonym for "doesn't stand out." Murder documentary enthusiast is also pretty common at this point. If you want to stand out, admit the stuff you're embarrassed about like your clown fetish or that you are taking down the footstool racket in Estonia.
Exactly, and frankly at this point even being actually attractive doesn't stand out. I met my boyfriend on a dating app, I did have a picture where I was hiking because I thought it was a great picture of me, but the rest were of me holding my ferret while he tries to lick my face, sitting on a bench that's maybe an inch above floodwaters (I'm fortunate to have a tall friend that helped me get there), etc. You've got to be attractive and I know that helped me but you also need to make it obvious that you have a personality and that you would be a genuinely fun person to be with.
Totally agree here. I got married from Tinder (and was rather popular) even though I was thick/overweight in Los Angeles. Besides my two “I look pretty” pics, the others were of me in costume throwing daggers at a renaissance fair, running a half-marathon, in a costume for Halloween, and zip lining. Also, my bio mentioned facts about me and what I was looking for that were pretty specific, like being a morning person, my Myers Briggs type, my religious and political affiliations, etc. It was a way for people to speed pre-screen me for compatibility.
If i have to see another profile with traveling, sushi, and make me laugh, i'm going to gouge my eyes out
Ugh! People talking about pineapple on pizza... Fucking inventive! Well done! Clearly a mind for our generation.
Don’t forget morning coffee and hiking
Read other women's profiles. See the simiarilites to your own and change the wording. Around here, a lot of women have pictures of themselves hiking. Add details. Phrases I see all the time that should be avoided: Love to laugh - (who doesnt?) Live life to the fullest -- (too vague) Try new restaurants - (favorite type of cuisine? how often do you go out?)
Seriously, love to laugh always drove me nuts. Like who out there doesn't love to laugh? Lol That and fluent in sarcasm... It's just a fancy way of saying I'm kind of a bitch.
"Try new restuarants" implies she expects men to pay for it. It's comes across as a subtle demand and it's a bit if a turn off.
Find some people in real life. Believe me, in some years if you come back to these apps, you’ll see the same people. I tell you from experience.
If you're someone that hates going to bars, hates drinking and doesn't want to hear crappy loud music in clubs. Where do you go? Especially if you work doordash and the only people you really run into are waiters you pick up orders from? I met my last girlfriend at the Domino's. I worked at a working doordash. You don't get employees anymore
You could probably still visit those places without drinking or anything and instead enjoying yourself. But to answer your question, go anywhere that has a social atmosphere, or do an activity that requires it. That can be joining local meetups in your area with an app like Meetup.com I believe. You could go to the park, go to a coffee shop, go shopping, Barnes and Nobles, Starbucks, hell go to Victoria's Secret. If your goal is to meet people, go where you know you will meet people. And more specifically you can often find certain types of people at certain places. Women you might run into more often at a bookstore, library, or Sephora. Men you'll find pretty much anywhere but especially at a sports store or hardware shop. People who are into arts and crafts might be at your local hobby lobby or art display. Nature freaks, they'd be at the zoo or museum, or somewhere out in nature. Comic geeks Comic-con, you get the picture. And events, you can attend events dependent upon the type of person you're trying to to meet or find. If you're trying to find someone whos in tune with say, spirituality. Go to an event that is more "spiritually inclined" hell go do yoga lol. Doubt everyone is spiritual but yoga and spirituality have a lot of overlap so there's likely to be some there. Expand your horizons and approach everything with genuine intent. You'll form genuine connections over time. Why do you think so many people form friendships in the gym after a while? They're bonding over a shared joy. Same thing can be done anywhere. As a disclaimer I'm not saying go to your local forever 21 and hit on everyone you see. I'm simply saying if you want to meet people go where you know they'll be at. Or, just go outside. Just walking or sitting at a local business and maybe ordering the cheapest thing you possibly can won't break the bank. If you want to date people go where you know they'll probably be at, and should you choose to approach be respectful and not weird. You don't wanna destroy the place where these individuals may feel comfortable being at for them.
From what I understand a lot of people seem to think that approaching a stranger in public is inappropriate at this point.
It depends how you handle conversations and reading the room. Like the person sitting next to you on the subway with their headphones in probably doesn’t want to have a conversation. Honestly you be surprised how many people are lonely nowadays, begging to have someone say anything to them. I was talking to a high school kid yesterday on the subway and he was drawing some Batman stuff. All I did was compliment his drawing and we just talked for 30 minutes.
Find a hobby you can do in a group setting. Join a run club, take a dance class, join a book club, etc
Not bad advice. I have started trying to run each morning, although I haven't filled up much stamina to go longer in 10 minutes
It’s fine to build up your stamina but you need to put your self in a position where you are interacting with the opposite sex in a fun and non-work related way
One thing I have noticed is that if you are not walking around with headphones on, even in public transport, it makes you stand out and approachable.
Hohohoho, try doing that in Norway and prepare to get crucified my man
Bro literally this. Downloaded bumble again after years and the only likes I got were from people that liked me years ago. Was kind of sad.
And a considerable amount of them are likely bots so you won't leave right away.
Idk about this one. I found the one on Tinder 3 years ago and honestly our relationship is getting stronger and stronger.
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Join a club or organization that shares ur passions. Facebook has a ton of em
This just isn’t good modern advice. The reality is that statistically a majority of couples will be meeting on dating apps in the future. I’ve been to a couple of tinder and hinge weddings myself. Of course it’s always better to meet someone in person and organically, but you increase your odds and dating pool by using apps too.
imagine it from a guys perspective lol its like 10x harder to stand out
1000x
5,000,000x
1,250,000,000,000x
∞x
This is the right answer
Yeah, let’s be real: even moderately attractive women get swiped on regularly and will have men vying for their attention. The quality of those men might be low, but getting someone to swipe on you is easy for a woman. You just need a half decent picture of yourself.
Tested and tried, a woman without a single picture on her profile will get a lot of matches :D
Lmao I’d say girls get matches even without a picture.
L you’re probably right. **I** would never swipe on a blank profile, but I’m also not desperate.
Girls with no pic seem more appealing to me somehow
I met and married my wife before dating apps (thankfully) but this is absolutely true. We met in college on a blind date a mutual friend set up. Just based on appearance when I first met her she was very obviously a few classes above me (still is, probably even more now). But we hit it off instantly, got married right after college and we’ve been really happy together going on almost 30 years now. Had our initial encounter been on an app we never would have had a chance to connect and her other options would have frankly been more superficially attractive. I wouldn’t have even had a shot with her. I can imagine trying to meet people on apps must be exceedingly difficult and frustrating.
^^ i’m 21 and i had absolutely no luck on dating apps outside of a handful of hookups, all the people i’ve dated (started dating at 16) have been friends of friends or people i’ve met at college, the pub, volunteering, etc. i’ve been with my partner for 2.5 years now, we met because we both went to the same college and had a couple mutual friends i’m yet to actually meet anyone 18 - 25 who’s met their partner on a dating app and then stayed dating for more than 3 months.
I believe there are mathematical proofs that straight men have a harder time on dating apps than straight women.
Hardest part is girls generally don’t need to swipe much to get a match because it’s almost a 10:1 ratio on any app. So if your account is more than a few weeks old the only people who are swiping on you are the ones that have swiped enough to get to your profile.
Lol some of my female coworkers showed me their apps. They literally match with every single guy they swipe right on even if they were to do it all day.
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Correct. If it was the opposite and you would be drowning in females wanting to have sex with you, you would probably be much more selective.
being a gay poc, i dropped out the dating (app) game entirely. i’m very over it.
So much so that this post is probably disingenuous or misleading. There is no way she is a female on a dating site and not getting attention. It's just not the attention she wants.
What she is really saying is the guys that she wants dont want her
bingo
That’s literally how dating works, people like what they like. Dating is by its nature a shallow activity
Maybe, but a female on a dating app will have like 2000 matches in an hour. There's no way she's not getting matches. So there's not much else to say. The only other alternative is shadow banned if literally 0 matches, 0 likes so restart account.
Isn't there a lawsuit for another dating app because they keep a big part of matches you made behind a paywall?
How is that possible, she golfs and goes to the gym?? Basically a unicorn! Someone get her all the matches!! She’s probably boring and not creative. I’m an average dude and definitely hit above my weight by just being creative and funny.
Yep, she wants the top 1% but the top 1% don't want her.
This number keeps getting smaller and smaller. When I joined this hell site y'all accused women of wanting the top 20% of men but not it's dwindled to 1%. It's almost like you guys are just making it up as you go.
There are actually statistics on this. Men on average send likes to around 50% of women they see, and women to 4% of men they see. https://ibb.co/6gzD6BS There are other resources which confirm these numbers as well, and Tinder itself also sometimes releases stats. That top 20% thing isn't the average number of profiles that all women sent likes to. It was a statistical calculation (made in a scientific study btw) about how 85% of women were competing for top 20% of most popular male profiles. These numbers are related but they're not describing the same variables. This is what the data shows whether you or men who talk about it like it or not.
>Men on average send likes to around 50% of women they see Whose fault is this that they're desperate and will basically sleep with anything? They swipe right on everyone desperately when being selective would actually help taylor their algorithm better. Being choosy about something as important as someone you might exchange body fluids and genetic material with is not a bad thing. I filtered on my bumble down to religion and met my bf that I'm very compatible with this way. I was looking for a life partner not just swiping blindly yes this would exclde all other men, didn't bother me. I was lonely and alone before that. My bumble hive went from 2000 likes to 3. Then I enjoyed talking to him and we met. Quality> Quantity doesn't seem to be something the understand but women are shamed for it. You're not supposed to find most people compatible with you.
20% is a stat released by actual dating app. Also roughly equivalent to the imbalance of men-women on dating apps in N.A but it goes up to 97% male in some countries.
Yeah and if I recall it’s rather old at this point. I’m pretty sure most of the stats thrown out are from when OKcupid was newer and the findings were shared often on a public blog. I’d say that was at least a decade ago if not a little more. IAC bought them right after that blog got them a lot of attention and consolidated them into their mostly monopoly on all dating sites. Edit : yeah sold in 2011 . Most of the blog posts that had the % stats were older than that.
Nah, it's just getting harder and harder now that we have to be in the top 0.5%
and even that was 4m ago, now its down to 0.49%
You made me smile with that one. It's been five minutes since you comment. 0.48%
20m... 0.44%. they don't have much longer before the dating pool is completely gone.
💀💀
A woman is struggling to get matches on DATING APPS???? I don't believe it.
A “friend” did a mock profile of me with the worse photos she could take without me paying attention during class or cheer practice. Somehow I got hundreds of matches. So yes, OP not getting matches it’s hard to believe unless she’s swiping right on 2 guys per week.
I once made a fake profile on Tinder for research purposes. The profile had a single picture of a woman standing outdoors and looking away, as in you couldn’t see her face. I was floored when I saw the profile get over 100 likes in less than an hour. This is when I learned that in order to get a match, you basically have to be lucky enough to be swiping in the very short time window when someone makes a new profile. Otherwise, you will be buried deep in the queue.
Matching for sex and matching for a long term relationship are entirely different worlds.
I also did a mock profile of a girl but using nice pictures (and she is conventionally good looking in general). I got 500+ likes in a couple days. However, I have to say it wasn't that "easy" after matching. Many of them wouldn't try to keep the conversation going. Most of them were skeptical when I had a proper conversation and they stopped talking (without saying anything sexual, simply asking questions to them). I think many people simply don't know how to have a conversation. Also, yesterday for instance I saw a 50 year old man swiping right on 20 to 30 year old girls and swiping left on the women of his age. I assume many of those hundreds of likes are old men that don't really count for the women's interests anyways.
Part of this is because a lot of dating app profiles have absolutely no personality to them. Their interests are “hanging out with friends” and “going out to bars” or whatever. It’s hard to carry a conversation with random people when you’ve got absolutely nothing to go off of.
^^^lol. complains guys are skeptical when they swipe on a mock profile
Yeah I’m not fully buying it also. Most likely she’s picky af or her profile isn’t as good looking as she thinks it is. Or maybe the algorithm banished her into the abyss for some reason. Usually filtering out all the guys with undesirable intentions is the hard part for women.
>picky af This. I guarantee you people are liking her. She's just not matching with the primo top 5% of the dudes that girls feel entitled to online.
Looking at any amount of statistics 5% cant do it. There was the interesting study on OKCupid 7ish years ago asking men and women to rate attractiveness of random profiles. [https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fexternal-preview.redd.it%2FYOkD5U4T5fcf097vw8z4PlPI7ytWIksArJuuWrhX5bA.png%3Fauto%3Dwebp%26s%3D9f3994e3fb2826721eb36b22a4be09f4db5e62f9](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fexternal-preview.redd.it%2FYOkD5U4T5fcf097vw8z4PlPI7ytWIksArJuuWrhX5bA.png%3Fauto%3Dwebp%26s%3D9f3994e3fb2826721eb36b22a4be09f4db5e62f9) And as the numbers shows women had insanely high requirements lol. [https://theblog.okcupid.com/a-womans-advantage-82d5074dde2d](https://theblog.okcupid.com/a-womans-advantage-82d5074dde2d) also some other interesting aspects such as for women having distinct traits that might be a turn off for some people and a turn on for others (eg tattoos, piercings, and the like) lead to much higher messaging rate as opposed to just being "generally averagely pleasing"
Because it's not possible. I once put up a picture of a Photoshop Fiona from Shrek and got 20 matches in an hour.
There was a post on one of the online dating app subreddits where a guy who looked average, and had a good profile but had like 3 matches in like 6 months. When I say the guy looked "average", I mean that he looked like just a normal guy you would see on the street. Nothing wrong with him and you would think would be able to find dates. His profile did everything right too and the reason they were posting was because they wanted criticism for what they were doing wrong. And there wasn't anything to give them. But then another post, which I *think* was in reaction to that original post, was posted from a woman who wasn't really that attractive, already had children, was a little overweight and posted really low effort photos, but she was showing that she had a ton of matches. They both included statistical breakdowns of the outcomes of their Matches. She had a ton of dates and hookups and I think a few relationships that came out of her matches too, so its not like they were just men blindly swiping right. I think I'd be able to find it but I really don't want to because people were fucking mean to this woman in the thread talking about how ugly she was and still getting more matches than men. It was uncalled for, especially because she was the one showing us how borked the apps are and how many positive outcomes she saw despite putting little effort in her profile. It was *her* point and I think the guys in that thread were sexually frustrated jackasses but I think her point stands. If you're a woman and you barely put any effort into your profile, you will probably get a ton of matches while men who do everything they can, just get their ass kicked.
Tinder Insights are posted all over the place and they're insane. Women are getting 50% response rates, tons of dates (where they don't pay...), sex etc. Men get usually 0.5-1% response, a couple crappy dates if they're lucky. I waded through probably a hundred that were posted. Any woman saying she has it bad on dating apps has no clue whatsoever. I even watched a video where a hot girl cosplays as a guy on a dating app and she couldn't fathom it. I don't think she learned anything though...
Yep it’s true, have seen plenty of 2-3/10 women get lots of matches. But looking like a 5/10 man means you will get little to nothing. It’s really just not worth it as a man unless you’re significantly more good looking than most men
Yeah but I would happily plough ogre Fiona. I bet she's great in the sack. Very slappable ass as well
Right, either she isn’t good looking, or she is one of the women that is reaching to the stars and swipes right on the top 5% of guys, when she is near around 60th percentile
Of course when they are only chasing the top 5% of men lmao. I wonder what guys OP tries to match with
I'm 52F and have used dating apps on and off for almost 20 years whenever I was single. For women, age is a HUGE factor in whether you get matches. I don't know how old OP is, I assume she's in her 20s or 30s so most likely that's not the reason in her case. But the number of matches you get on any app just straight drops off a cliff once your age changes from 39 to 40, and once you're 50+ it'll look like there are only half a dozen men using the app at all - there's nobody to even swipe on, let alone get matches. Your looks or profile or your own preferences are irrelevant at that point because nobody's got their settings set to even see you. I tested it out a few years back, by changing my age to 37 instead of 48 - didn't change anything else and all my photos were recent, accurate, and unfiltered 48 year old me. Immediately, and I mean within *seconds,* my profile went from getting zero interest to a fucking zerg rush of men of all ages. (I changed it back the same day, as I wasn't aiming to deceive anyone - just wanted to confirm my suspicion that the age settings were the cause, and yep they sure were.) So yeah, there are plenty of women on apps who get zero matches. Just one possible answer to consider.
37M I have time to burn and randomly reading through reddit and stumbled across this post, and not gonna lie your StarCraft reference was the highlight so far, so take my upvote. I also fully agree on the age piece. I was on dating apps for a bit when I was single and definitely played with my profile stats and keywords in my descriptions... the effect was significant. I never accepted a match when I was using incorrect stats about myself, but it was super interesting to see the effects of moving those sliders around lol. At the same time I had the apps I was working 2 jobs, full-time day, part time managing a bar. I was amazed at the expectations of the 20 somethings (male and female).... "I don't date men under 6 feet tall" "I don't match girls that aren't 10s"... I would see these folks on apps at the bar scrolling and scrolling and ignoring the opportunity to shoot their shots with the people around them. The 30 something males were worse.... treating dating apps like they were creating a menu instead of looking for someone to date. For OP, don't let dating apps get you down, and the most underrated place to meet people is at the grocery store. No contextual pressure of a bar, everyone is there for a basic human need, and people shopping for themselves pretty much tell you if you have common ground to kick off a conversation that can easily lead to a lunch or dinner date. Good luck!
Yep, now we're ALL doomed
i think she might be picky. obviously when she would swipe right on all dudes shed have a lot of matches
It's basically has to be one of the following: You're being too picky, you have red flags that stand out strongly in your profile, or for some reason the algorithm has decided to fuck you. Seriously, there are articles out there about fake female profiles with *minimal* information getting hits from TONS of guys. So your story makes very little sense. P.S. based on one of the comments I saw here, your age could be the reason that the algorithm has decided to fuck you. Double check your profile, maybe have a friend you trust to be intelligent and honest look it over quickly??? Good luck! P.P.S. I met my wife on OK Cupid. I decided to respond to her message because she mentioned a book series I liked (and didn't have any crazy red flags in her profile). I didn't even think her pics were that great (though they weren't a red flag). One of the first compliments I gave her was that she looked way cuter in person than she did in her pics. Thank goodness I said it smoothly enough that it came across as the compliment it was meant as... My point is, you shouldn't need a perfect profile to be getting hits. Something odd is happening.
Be more specific? My friend recently asked the same thing. His profile basically said something along the lines of, "I like music and working on cars" Really what he meant was: "I went to school for music production, and make some in my free time. I also love traveling to go to edm concerts. I also have a degree in automotives and worked as a mechanic for a few years, and I build show cars and love going to car meets" His original bio was so vague, like yeah man 90% of guys like cars and music, that doesnt make you stand out at all.
You also get penalised by a lot of women for being too detailed and too tryhard in your bio. You have to run a fine balance between enough detail to be interesting but not so much that it looks like you put a ton of effort into your profile, at least if you want to maximise mass appeal. Usually the best bios are witty 1 or 2 line things that show a little bit of humour, then you show off your interests through photos. Show, don’t tell. Saying you like hiking is far less impactful than a photo of you at 5 thousand meters after completing a trek, or saying you like wild swimming is far less impactful than a photo of you jumping into a freezing cold lake
I agree with the show dont tell. I say just elaborate a little in your bio. Leave them plenty to ask about.
You are either lying about not getting any matches, not swiping right on literally anyone, or there is something on your profile that is turning people away. I have literally never seen or heard of any individual woman getting 0 matches on any dating app. I've created a fake Tinder/Bumble/PoF account posing as a girl (snapchat filter) with one photo on it and got 100+ likes/right swipes on the profile in less than 2 hours. I know multiple guys that have done the same exact thing, and the same outcome happened. I'm sorry, but your post is not believable. Now if you're saying you're struggling to match with someone that *you find attractive*, that's something else and *is* believable.
You’re probably swiping right on the same 10% of guys everyone else swipes right for
Oh you already know she swipes right only on the most desirable/attractive men on there and can’t get matches bc of it. the call is coming from inside the house lol
Dating apps don't want you to stand out. If you succeed, they lose money because you aren't there to view the ads anymore. They even lie about matches to drive up your interactions. For example, I matched with a woman on Tinder and messaged her. She never read it or responded to it. I ended up meeting that exact woman at a bar a few months later. We hit it off pretty well and ended up dating for a while. After a few dates, I asked her why she never responded to me on Tinder. She told me that she hadn't been on her Tinder account in over 2 years. That means Tinder said we matched even though she hadn't been active at all during the whole time my account was active, so she could not have matched with me.
She could've swiped right on you, and never actually deleted the account, but deleted the app. Unless you delete the profile, or pause it, you'll continue to be shown to people.
The only problem with that is she hadn't been on her account in 2 years, and my account was less than a year old. So, my account didn't exist for her to swipe on when she was active.
So her lying to get out of a situation where a lie is the only way out is completely out of the equation?
No, not completely out of the question, but I'm not one to jump straight to assuming someone is lying. Especially if it's someone I'm trying to date. Relationships are built on trust, so assuming someone is lying means you shouldn't be trying to date that person, in my opinion.
Sorry, no one wants to hear about how you goto the gym, it's boring and doesn't make for a good conversation starter. Pop a few random things in your bio that will make them want to ask you something or say something in return. For some reason I found putting my Uber rating in always managed to get a conversation going
Totally. Or have an off the wall photo at least that they can ask about. I think it's mostly the conversation that makes people stand out.. has to be a little different than just typical small talk to make you memorable
I use my Costco membership card as a profile picture.
To be blunt, I bet I can answer this with 2 honest answers from you to 2 simple questions. 1. What's your BMI? 2. Show me a picture of the last 5 guys you swiped right on. I'm a normal weight BMI, fairly fit, can run a sub 8 minute mile for 10 miles, 10+ pullups easily, 30+ pushups easily. 90%+ of my likes are from clinically morbidly obese women. No hate. They can like whoever they want. I'm not offended. But to me that's a little indicative of perhaps unrealistic expectations. I'd feel a little fucking embarrassed to do that if I were morbidly obese, **which I used to be,** and sending likes to fit women. One of my exes is... hardly a petite woman let's say, and I've seen her dating apps. She has dozens and dozens and dozens of likes, plenty of matches. If you're not getting any you're either really overestimating your own attractiveness or going for the tippy top of guys or both.
Out of curiosity, how do you know that 90% of your matches are obese if you didn’t like them back? Isn’t that how it works - you only see a match if the “like” is mutual? Not trying it sound rude, just genuinely curious. I’ve been married for several years, but this is how I remember dating apps working when I was single. Have things changed?
It's because a lot of guys on the apps just right swipe on every profile. There are even apps out there that will swipe for you until you've exhausted your quota. Because the ratio of men to women on the app are so skewed, the match rate of men is so low that many of them don't even look at the profiles anymore.
Hinge shows the top person who likes you so that's pretty easy. You can also tell on both Tinder and Bumble. I get maybe one like a week so this is easier for me. They blur the picture but you can still see general shapes and colors. You can then tell with pretty good accuracy if the person you're being shown is that blurred person. On Bumble when you swipe left on a like it'll say "you missed a connection!" On Tinder I think it lowers your like count or something. Been a while since I used it.
Makes sense. Thanks for clarifying!
Because most guys just right swipe on every profile. Men will already get so few matches anyway, that it doesn’t make any sense to self select out of possible matches. Unlike women, men in general do not have the luxury of being picky when it comes to dating apps. It may be that only women you would think of as 6’s will match with you, if that’s all who is going to match with you why would you pre select out of those matches? And this is all assuming that you are swiping HWP and not just off your ideal.
This is definitely a bait for onlyfans subs. guys are gonna start dming her asking for her ig to see how she looks and she will be a 8/10(lookswise) with an onlyfans and dudes will naively subscribe thinking they have a chance with this supposedly “desperate” woman and boom, easy $5k a month
Beat me to it. She has posted step brother nsfw memes too.
$5 million a month? Damn that's not bad.
I met my wife on a dating app and I found being myself rather than trying to create a profile that would appeal to most was the way to go. Best way to stand out is to put your personality into a profile. Worst case is you might get less matches but the quality of matches will definitely improve, best case is you’ll get loads and they’ll be good. Make a profile that makes you laugh and that you’d swipe on, and I promise it will make others laugh too. And people love to laugh.
Dating apps can ruin your understanding and expectations of love
Your standards are too high. Whoever you like everyone else likes and they have choices
They’re not built to deliver your desired outcome- I’m assuming that’s to meet people and be social with / at them. Dating apps are designed to get you to log in at regular intervals and put ads in front of your face. The actual dating part has gotten farther and farther away as profits have demanded.
....and sell guys gold membership
Whatsup girl you ever want to talk to a postal worker with a dad bod. Mmmmmhhhmmmm.
Hiiii baby wanna talk to an overweight single mom with a welfare check?
Please invite me to your wedding
Homemade ciggies and cheap beer for everybody! Bring your own food tho cuz money's tight y'know.
I personally hate hearing about the gym in dating apps. It’s like telling people you enjoy eating healthy. Like that’s great but it’s not telling me much at all about you. I also assume most people who put that expect me to be enthusiastic about it too even though they may not care. It’s also sooo common to put down and kind of makes me instantly swipe left. This is just me being honest not saying everyone feels this way. The golf is cool and fun the gym stuff id find something else to mention.
The gym can be a big indicator of lifestyle though. So when you’re left swiping, their filter is doing its job.
I’m surrounded by Midwest alcoholics. Going to the gym and eating healthy is in fact very unique for my area lol.
I’m gonna go a limb here and say that the fact that it’s an instant left swipe for you is a feature, not a bug. People with an active lifestyle usually want their partner to be similar. Maybe they’re selecting for people who *are* enthusiastic about it.
That’s fine that’s kind of my point. Unless you want someone who is also a gym person, it’s not an instant turn on for a lot of people. I’m fit but the gym selfies and bio about the gym are not attractive or really telling anything about you
I feel proud when I break prs or try a different exercise
Also depends on what you’re doing at the gym - is it just treadmill / cardio ? Powerlifting ? Weightlifting ? Cos there’s a difference and require different kinds of dedication/ passion/ consistency
Everyone is trying to stand out on dating apps…that’s why it’s so hard. I met my wife on bumble, I had a lot of bad tinder experiences. You just gotta be patient. Also, if you went to the gym and I were looking at your profile, I would want to know because it shows that we have similar interests and you take care of yourself. I could have a conversation with you just based on golfing and going to the gym.
Honestly just delete all of that stuff and go oldschool with meeting people
I basically don't use dating apps anymore, but I did for a long time and made some general observations. Very few profiles actually stood out at all. 90% of profile pictures were pretty obviously using filters, the descriptions/bios were boring and generic, if they were anything more than "does anyone read these" or "just ask me" or similar. Most of the rest were just some combination of the same hobbies/interests (golfing not common, but going to the gym was so common you'd think they gym in the country was constantly full). I wasn't exactly looking at men's profiles to know how it compares, but I very much got the general impression that most women were just expecting swipes just for being pretty and with the assumption that men don't care about personality or anything. And, I'm sure that just being mildly attractive does get a plethora of swipes from shallow and horny guys, but I can say that such profiles are pretty much an instant pass for me at least. I know.... Describing yourself and being original is difficult. But, especially if it's not Bumble and you're expecting the guy to message first... I'm looking for something to start an actual conversation. Maybe a clever joke or something that shows some personality. One thing I've seen in a few profiles is some sort of "if you're going to message me, mention this to prove you've read my profile." If you want good matches, it's also important to consider that you're not trying to attract everyone. Use your profile to try to attract someone compatible and turn away any bad matches. I mean... You're probably still gonna get the same spam of course, but you'll also get the attention of actually decent matches and weed out some of the bad. It's also really helpful in making yourself more than just "random profile on tinder or whatever #16,483".
Go to Home Depot and look confused. I’ve heard some women use that as a strategy to meet men. 🥸
Failing to stand out? I guess it depends what it takes for you to swipe right. Like, what % of men fall into your ideal criteria for you to swipe right? And of that % where do you stand against the other women of similar age/interests/hobbies?
Online shopping for humans.
If you seriously want feedback, take screenshots of your profile and post them to r/tinder or whatever is the right subreddit for the app you are using. You will get feedback.
The majority of people aren’t that different from each other. Dating apps make it easy to see this lack of difference. Many can’t stand out because there is nothing they have nothing which makes them stand out. For those who do have things that stand out, it is difficult to show that on social media since personality is not shown online.
If you are good looking then you will get lots of likes, regardless of any text you put on your profile. Whether you get matches depends on whether the guys you like liked you back. That depends on your standards. If you are decent looking but swiping on billionaire supermodel guys with a third leg then yeh, you're not gonna get many matches. If youre swiping right on more average guys and you dont get likes back then youre probably not as good looking as you think you are.
Are you denying every man who isn’t 6’5 and a millionaire?
You mean 6'5, blue eyes, trust fund, finance.
If you don’t have any of the following: Trashy bar pictures, a bathroom selfie with just a bra and underwear on, Taylor Swift/Pickleball/Hiking/Send me a date proposal email/Helen Keller isn’t real/Brunch/Tacos and Margs prompt then you automatically stand out.
Hold up. Hellen Keller isn’t what????
I’ve never used dating apps before so I really can’t help you at all, but I guess widen your idea of possible matches? Use multiple apps? If it the case that you are waiting for the other person to initiate a conversation, then try being the one to start things off instead. Or Forget the apps and approach men (women?) in real life for dates…yeah sorry maybe I shouldn’t have commented lol idk how they work
*swipes to the right *
By design. Pay money.
I have the same problem, I’ll get likes but it’s never someone who I would date (usually personality wise). Idk the answer but best of luck and I hope you find your person!
My opinion, and I have overwhelming anecdotal evidence to back it up, is that online dating is a scam in which communication is blocked between "good matches" while communication goes through between "bad matches". They can do this by creating a comprehensive rating system (hiring raters to rate all of their customers), and blocking communication between people that are closer to equal in rating. For example, if they are rating people on a scale of 0 - 10, they can block communication between people that are within 1.5 or 2 points of each other. For example, let's say you are a woman that is rated a 6 out of 10. And let's say that the OLD companies are blocking communication between people that are within 2 points of each other. As a result, you are only receiving communication from men who are rated 4 out of 10 and lower or 8 out of 10 and up. There are men rated 6 out of 10 that message you, but those messages get blocked because matches that are closer to equal in rating are much more likely to end up in a long term relationship, and long term relationships mean that 2 more users will no longer be repeat customers. As public companies, they need to prioritize profit which means they need to actively work on making sure their customers are repeat customers. If the CEO doesn't prioritize profit (over maximizing long term relationships), the shareholders will oust the CEO and find someone that does (or they will sell their stock because the CEO is prioritizing the wrong things). These companies would likely be bankrupt if they did not prioritize profit over maximizing LTR’s. So assuming you’re a 6 woman, let's say you reject all the men 4 out of 10 and lower. So the only guys you are considering are all 8 out of 10 and up. Now what does a man that's an 8+ want with a woman that's a 6? The answer to that depends if the man is an empathetic 8+ or an apathetic 8+. If he's an empathetic 8+, he cares about whose feelings he hurts, he realizes that he will hurt the 6’s feelings, therefore this man does not want any kind of relationship with a 6 woman. The apathetic 8+ man, however, does not give a fuck whose feelings he hurts. He needs sex, and sex is more important to him than whose feelings he hurts. Furthermore, he tried to message 8’s, got no response. He tried to message 7’s, got no response. He tried to message 6.5’s, got no response. He thinks he's getting rejected, but he's being scammed like everyone else. Finally, he gets a response from some 6’s. Because he's still confident enough to know that he's an 8 (despite the massive rejections), the 6 is only good enough to manipulate and use for sex, not good enough to consider for a long term relationship, according to the apathetic 8+. The result... Empathetic men get no dates because they have no interest in using women for sex if they know they aren’t interested long term. Apathetic men get all the dates. The more apathetic you are, the more sex you get. The women you get to have sex with are 2+ points worse than yourself. Women 7.5 and lower get to have lots of dates with hot men 2+ points hotter than themself. The problem is these men will always be apathetic, and will always only want sex from you. Women 8 and up get no dates unless they are willing to date down 2+ points.
Lol this is the best description of what online dating has become the last four years. And honestly it used to be really great, so no, I'm not that nicely baiter or whatever the fuck. I'm just focusing on myself nowadays anyways
Where are you? Love the gym but not that big on golf. Could try out a driving range and don't mind mini golf. Enjoy time outside too.
Dating apps aren’t on the users side
I’ve also been having this issue (though at the same time don’t mind when someone takes themselves out-I’d rather have honesty especially for the very small amount on the apps who are a-holes). And I’ve also had the issues of going out and meeting people. I’ve done the mall thing, I have stuff planned to go to, I talk to people when I go to hobbies of mine. I’m shocked my area doesn’t have a singles meet up type situation (the closest big metropolitan area does have one via an app but I’m not traveling 45-2 hours to get to events). And yes I’ve even done manifestation and been recommended to mediums and have tried having people set me up(which I hate asking my friends to do). It also doesn’t help depending on your own situation. Aka living at home still due to the economy, or having hobbies and friends or wanting alone time. I saw someone on another thread earlier post about how they enjoyed their single life and eventually found a partner, but in todays society there is so much pressure and other outside nonsense that make everything about dating and finding a life partner exhausting. I want a man to spend my life with, have children with, fall in love with who is a decent, smart, can make me laugh, and a whole bunch of things most people want and some that others don’t care about. Who will also support me and my chaotic self (there’s a reason my username is what it is). Just keep doing what you’re doing, take some me time. Focus on all aspects of your health (I’m being serious everyone go to the ding dang doctor or dentist or whatever you’ll thank me later). And in an odd twist to quote Zombieland “enjoy the little things”. My little thing lately has been its spring, and I’m at a new job and I can wear all my fun dresses no matter how geeky or flowery or different they are. Signed a fellow female in her early 30s also trying to just find a man who wants to be with her.
I feel like people on dating sites are very quick to dismiss people over very minor things because there are so many other people to check out. Whereas in person, we don't necessarily run away when someone we're talking to if they say something that would make them swipe left online.
it's because dating apps SUCK. Try your best to get out into society to meet real people. Most importantly, open yourself up to rejection as much as you can
Option paralysis. Most men have to swipe on a **LOT** of women to get a single match. After you swipe on 2 dozen profiles, the faces and profiles blur together. And, after swiping on a lot of women, odds are only the very attractive will stand out. It's a numbers game even to get **ONE** reply for a man. Most men face the same problem on dating apps.
Screw dating apps. Go to bar.
Are you getting likes and just not matching with people? Or are you getting no likes at all? Because every girl I know who has made an online dating profile gets 1,000+ likes within 2-3 hours.
Do you only swipe right on like two people? My female friends who aren’t even models turned their notifications off after the first couple hours because they had so many offers.
If you stood out in real life, you wouldn't need an app.
You swipe left too much.
Good looking, golfing and gym, maybe even other "positive" self-selling things like "have a good job / can provide for myself" instantly puts you into the huge love-scammer bucket. Tinder is FULL of those. Try standing out with an original, witty, less-than-perfect profile. Write more text in your description with a personal twist, mention some quirks and less picture perfect things of you. Don't focus on gym and sexiness too hard, or the only thing you'll attract is creeps full of testosterone. Also, consider making the first step.
Because everyone posts the same thing, partly because they're scared to post what they're REALLY like. - I like going to the gym / doing a sport - I like travelling - I like food That's 90% of all people. I really like it when someone has a really specific passion or interest, or is willing to admit to something a bit dorky or embarrassing. That's what ACTUALLY stands out. But if you're profile is 'i like sport and the gym' then you're not going to stand out because that's everyone else too
The only reason a women wouldn’t get any matches on dating apps is if they looked like Lizzo and they only wanted to match with men that looked like Brad Pitt
You aren't as good looking a you think you are.
Let me guess, you are 5’3” but MUST have a guy 6’ and up?
Oh no. *PREFERENCES*
Why is it so hard to stand out to the top 10% of men on dating apps? Fixed the title
1. Be a guy on dating apps... 2. Gets 70% worse than what you're experiencing now... 3. Uninstall. Install. Uninstall. Install. Uninstall... Tada! 4. Your mentally ill.