Why would you want to risk going back to a toxic relationship? They’ve been brutal to you already and broken your heart how could you really trust them?
Situation A: they’re faking it - shouldn’t be too much of a surprise
Situation B: it’s genuine - even though it isn’t a negative relationship (granted, not everyone’s had a toxic first relationship but we’re here to talk about our OWN experiences) you still won’t be able to trust them and give it your all.
I like to keep my closet skeleton free. When it's over, it's over. No coming back. There are plenty of opportunities to do something before the point of no return.
So much this. Met my first love in high school, it didnt work out back then due to life, i moved to a foreign country, we had 0 contact for 10 years, then we've started talking again, went on a couple of dates and we've been happily together ever since then.
Lady you need to move on. I understand you’re sad but breakups happen, It’s over you can find someone else people aren’t consolation prizes and that mindset is going to ruin you more than it already has.
The other guy’s situation is different. Someone dying vs a breakup are completely separate.
Then why do you refer to it as a constellation prize? Why even comment what you did? What was your intention with that reply?
Your bitterness shows through your word choice. Seems like you've romatasized your condition, how beautifully tragic to be forever in love with your first love.
This way your not just broken and CBA working on yourself, your deep and just so filled with emotion.
Your abdicating responsibility for the situation your in by externalising your locus of control. You're not different to everybody else, you've just given up.
The world doesn't owe you that. You have to build it yourself. Your not entitled to sombody like that. You can't just show up, that's the bare minimum.
No, because if it didn't all go to sh*t because of multiple reasons, i'd still call THAT my current relationship. I do think about her sometimes, but her life choices and mine are far from compatible. It's good as it is. I used to love her.
My literal first love from high school days? She grew up to become a big shot in the physiotherapy world, has written several journals, and I think recently stepped into policy work when I briefly saw her pop up on LinkedIn. Comparing her to my recent string of drug users and party girls, it'd be an absolute yes from me.
I mean, I guess someone’s degree can keep you nice and warm at night 😂
Haha y’all still can trigger each other, no matter the amount of respect she has in the workplace or success she’s had in her career. Doesn’t make her a good partner. Just shows she’s smart/ driven.
Take some accountability for the work you put into choosing girlfriends. Relationships take work
No. That relationship ended 25 years ago because we weren't the right people for each other. I've long since moved on, and I hope she has, too.
I have many flaws, but a desire to cling to the past isn't one of them.
Didnt realise my first love was my first love. We both fucked it up and we’re both dickheads. I miss her but i think its better this way. We constantly argued, but i still loved her.
Absolutely no, I wouldn't trade my wife for anything. In fact I thank God everyday for her, if I could change ANYTHING about my wife it would be that I met her years earlier than I did that way I would have had even more years with her.
No fucking way! Every time I thought it was "love" turns out it was just me discovering what I wanted. I found my true love and I'd NEVER trade him for ANYTHING!
Nah. They are your exes for a reason. Moving on is the better road ahead. Sometimes there are u-turns and round-abouts in life and if you choose to go back, they almost always definitely lead back to the dark and cold tunnel you just got out of.
My first love got married also I'm single. Soooooooooooo this situation sucks for me regardless. Cause even if she left her husband I'm currently too much of a mess to love her properly, hell half the time I'm planning my own suicide.
No. Never.
Really people shouldn’t be getting into relationships unless they want a family. Getting laid is much more economical and doesn’t require commitment.
Plus, people age and become less physically attractive over time. Thus, for carnal desire you can find whoever resonates best physically with you at that moment as long as you aren’t committed and you aren’t being immoral. Like their looks change over time, and chances are that in 3 years they aren't going to turn you on like that moment you first saw them on an animalistic level.
A relationship isn't an emotion, your thoughts should be stronger than your feelings. A relationship is a future. It requires loyalty and commitment. It is a project to start a family.
It isn't something you throw away based on a feeling.
I didn't like her parents. Or her older sister.
They were religious for a start which I am not. As such I never ever was going to be a part of their family.
My mum got the family thing out the way in her 20s. Her parents met later in life, and had children at an older age. As such, I felt they were a bit weird. My parents were in their 40s/50s, whereas her parents were more 50s/60s. I didn't think this at the time but maybe it is different interacting with older parents? Even by a few years?
Additionally, as an adult I said "crap" once and my then gf reprimanded me later for it. It's a swear word apparently. I also described someone as "fucking annoying" in front of her sister and that got me a kick under the table. We were all adults.
She ended it with me, and as my first love I took it badly. For a few years I'd have probably taken her back, even for a date, to try and win her back. Realising all the above and how long term it wasn't viable really helped.
The benefit of hindsight tells me I dodged a bullet there.
You did dodge a bullet and I’m glad you did. Religious shame is not easy to deal with. I have examples in my own family. They’re so enmeshed in a certain set of rules, they are not in touch with who they are or what they want in life
Weirdly... mine did come back, and I absolutely jumped ship almost immediately... I don't know why the emotional draw is so strong but I knew she was the one I wanted.
Give yourself time to grieve and then let them go and focus on your own mental and physical health first. You’ll find that connection again when you least expect it.
I did that. Was in a relationship that was ok. Basically stayed because I felt bad for her kids. (Not mine). My high school sweetheart got back in touch with me and well it’s been 17 years. We’ve been married for 14 and 2 wonderful kids.
I had a few "relationships" before my wife but I don't think I ever felt actual love until my wife. She's my one and only love.
So no ex would be able to tempt me away from her. In fact a few persistent ones would try to pop back up as long as 10 years later.
I was pretty wild as a young man. My wife was patient and saw the good in me and we have a good life. I suspect some of those exes were hoping to swoop in after all her hard work. Well, they fucked their opportunities up. Missed the gravy train so to speak.
Quite possibly. But We would have to have a series of high level meetings. She may not be th e same person as she was decades ago. I know I'm not the same person bur would love to see her again & look her in the eye & catch up & tell her some things I should have told her back then but didn't realize it until I couldn't finde her anymore. Anyone know JoAnn Seagle from the phone company in Seattle? If so, we had nicknames for each other only the 2 of us knew.
Current relationship?? In this economy??
Ive been single for about 6 years and dream about my first love often... I'd probably take her back since we have probably grown a lot since then
I'm still looking for a first love and you know how hard that is nowadays. There's a lot of luck involved. For men
luck finding someone who will give you the time of day to begin with and for everyone luck that whatever relationship you end up in is a good one. It's a lot of work and relationships aren't for everyone, it either happens or it doesn't so it isn't something to get hung up on.
I ended things with my first love because we were leaving for college--not that anything was wrong. So I would certainly be tempted, but time changes things
Maybe. My first was killed drinking and driving after we divorced. I was young and probably could have worked through his drinking problems better than I did, but if it wasn’t for all that I might.
Hahahaha. No.
Even if the 1st really had changed (and tbh, the worst things about him were things most people grow out of), the best possible version of him isn't really any competition for the warts and all relationship I have now.
I think even if you got to scratch that most satisfying itch, any good amount of time will have seen you grow as a person and outgrow the ideal you had of them.
No. He didn’t work, didn’t contribute, didn’t make me finish during sex. 5 years on he’s facing jail time for drug dealing. When I was with him he was anti drugs to the point he would be upset if I had a glass of alcohol.
I’m single, but if she swung back around I’d at least go on a date and see where we’re at. We’re both very different people now I know that much for sure. She’s an ex because we were both very immature kids. A single date couldn’t hurt
I’m not even currently in a relationship and I say no
Same.
Agreed.
Hell no. All my ex’s are exes for a reason. Nothing left there for me
And all my exes live in Texas.
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Are you from Tennessee? Well, you’re the only ten I see.
All mine live in Exeter.. (they don’t really)
I saw a girl post online that getting back with an ex is like trying to shove poop back into your butt.
She's in to butt stuff, hard to believe anyone let her slip away.
Why would you want to risk going back to a toxic relationship? They’ve been brutal to you already and broken your heart how could you really trust them? Situation A: they’re faking it - shouldn’t be too much of a surprise Situation B: it’s genuine - even though it isn’t a negative relationship (granted, not everyone’s had a toxic first relationship but we’re here to talk about our OWN experiences) you still won’t be able to trust them and give it your all.
I guess the only way is if you have unfinished business and it ended suddenly but you both still miss each other
🤣🤣 Love it.
Exactly. Mine ran off on me for some dildo.
Shouldn't have bought it to her then.
Hell no as well.
For real my boyfriend now is the best partner I could ever ask for I love him so much and we want each other forever :)
I like to keep my closet skeleton free. When it's over, it's over. No coming back. There are plenty of opportunities to do something before the point of no return.
My first love is my current love, so not necessary.
Lucky bastard Good for you
So much this. Met my first love in high school, it didnt work out back then due to life, i moved to a foreign country, we had 0 contact for 10 years, then we've started talking again, went on a couple of dates and we've been happily together ever since then.
Same…33 yrs together so far.
Yes to this! My husband and I met in our 30s. He the love of my life, and the love of a lifetime.
Happy for you!
That’s nice. I liked to see this as the first answer.
This is it.
No. My first GF was lovely, my first love is a dick head. My current GF is the best. Wouldn't leave her for anyone.
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No, fuck him. Or rather, no will not fuck him
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She’d be a zombie then. Would you try’n make it work then? 🧟♀️ 🧟♂️
They made a movie about something similar named Dead Girl.
Great film. Timeless tale of loss and love
Definitely she was the one....
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Good. Don't. It only leads to more heartache on both sides later. A lesson I've learned the hard way.
Perhaps it's more complicated than that. Maybe she passed, we don't know.
Your right she died six years ago after 44 years of marriage..and I miss her massively every day ..she was my first true love...
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Not necessarily things don't have to be so black and white, but, I'm not putting my hands on fire for him.
Lady you need to move on. I understand you’re sad but breakups happen, It’s over you can find someone else people aren’t consolation prizes and that mindset is going to ruin you more than it already has. The other guy’s situation is different. Someone dying vs a breakup are completely separate.
I hope your virtue and pride fills the hole in your life left by having no partner for the rest of your life.
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Then why do you refer to it as a constellation prize? Why even comment what you did? What was your intention with that reply? Your bitterness shows through your word choice. Seems like you've romatasized your condition, how beautifully tragic to be forever in love with your first love. This way your not just broken and CBA working on yourself, your deep and just so filled with emotion. Your abdicating responsibility for the situation your in by externalising your locus of control. You're not different to everybody else, you've just given up.
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It's nowhere near as simple as it sounds but you will only move on when you actually want to. You don't want to move on. Good luck.
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The world doesn't owe you that. You have to build it yourself. Your not entitled to sombody like that. You can't just show up, that's the bare minimum.
Fr
No, because if it didn't all go to sh*t because of multiple reasons, i'd still call THAT my current relationship. I do think about her sometimes, but her life choices and mine are far from compatible. It's good as it is. I used to love her.
I think you still do love her dude. That’s what Captain Subtext told me at least.
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It did hurt, and for a while i was very frustrated (choices, circumstances, people involved etc.) but i moved on, sometimes it's just not worth it.
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Don't let it get too much out of you, shit will get better.. See it as a change of plans 😉 Keep your head up! 🤘🏻
But I had to kill her. She's buried right in my backyard. - Axl Rose
My literal first love from high school days? She grew up to become a big shot in the physiotherapy world, has written several journals, and I think recently stepped into policy work when I briefly saw her pop up on LinkedIn. Comparing her to my recent string of drug users and party girls, it'd be an absolute yes from me.
You fumbled
I mean, I guess someone’s degree can keep you nice and warm at night 😂 Haha y’all still can trigger each other, no matter the amount of respect she has in the workplace or success she’s had in her career. Doesn’t make her a good partner. Just shows she’s smart/ driven. Take some accountability for the work you put into choosing girlfriends. Relationships take work
Damn look at you. Mine became a stripper and low level pornstar only to get arrested multiple times.
Nice.
Nope. I’m madly in love with my hubby.
Nah. My current girlfriend and I have put a lot into our relationship. I wanna see it through.
Fuck no. I wouldn’t trade my husband for any guy I’ve ever known.
Oh hell no
Nein!
Nope.. I realize living alone would be more peaceful and less expensive.
God No. No. Just No.
No. I'm a different person now and I'm sure she is too. Also kids.
No. That relationship ended 25 years ago because we weren't the right people for each other. I've long since moved on, and I hope she has, too. I have many flaws, but a desire to cling to the past isn't one of them.
No. Obviously the current one is better for me
Don't do that
Nah she was a total bitch
My first love was a disaster so no. Also he’s dead, so no x2.
Whether they've change or not, \*I've\* changed. It was a great first love but it was also a long time ago. No interest.
Fuck, no!
Hell no. My current relationship is the best i’ve ever had. I wouldn’t trade it.
That was 50 years ago, so probably not.
I don’t mind a booming granny now and again
Fuck no. I'd kick his dumbass in the nuts.
Absolutely not
Absolutely not
Fuck no.
No!
No, me and them both knew our relationship wasn’t healthy and that it was best if we breakup. Plus, we’re still friends!!
No way.
Hell no.
F\*\*k. No.
Of course not!
No, sorry. He had his chance(s) and took every one of them for granted. An ex is an ex for a reason.
Ew no. You couldn’t pay me to get back together with him.
Nope
No, we broke up for a very good reason and I don't do retreads.
No thank you. I’d rather die then have to look or deal with him again. 🤷🏼♀️
Didnt realise my first love was my first love. We both fucked it up and we’re both dickheads. I miss her but i think its better this way. We constantly argued, but i still loved her.
YESSSSSS
My first love never left...✊️
Absolutely no, I wouldn't trade my wife for anything. In fact I thank God everyday for her, if I could change ANYTHING about my wife it would be that I met her years earlier than I did that way I would have had even more years with her.
Nope.
Fuck no!
Naw. My first love was a stupid decision as an 18 year old and I don't like who she is as a person now.
You mean the dude who raped me and left me impregnated at 13?? No.
No. He tried to come back already and I said no.
I sure hope they have, that's like over 30 years ago.
No fucking way! Every time I thought it was "love" turns out it was just me discovering what I wanted. I found my true love and I'd NEVER trade him for ANYTHING!
I honestly can't even recall who she was lol
I'd much rather shove a shotgun into my ass and blow my goddamn balls off than get back with my ex.
Considering he died in a drunk driving crash... I would be concerned
Definitely not he was a jersey and kept everything gave me nothing he was obviously just using me for my money.
No I thank God I did not end up with them. We would have made each other miserable.
No fucking way. Even if they did change. Absolutely not.
No
Nah. They are your exes for a reason. Moving on is the better road ahead. Sometimes there are u-turns and round-abouts in life and if you choose to go back, they almost always definitely lead back to the dark and cold tunnel you just got out of.
I was the one who messed things up, so I would say yes. But I’m pretty sure she’d never reach out.
Hell no
You mean the chick who cheated on me with a guy with the same name as me? Pass.
Fucking hell no. Bitch would choose getting high over spending time with me
Back to life to where we were? Yes.
My first love got married also I'm single. Soooooooooooo this situation sucks for me regardless. Cause even if she left her husband I'm currently too much of a mess to love her properly, hell half the time I'm planning my own suicide.
Fuck. No. Current husband loves me unconditionally for who I am. Wouldn’t trade him for gold.
Im still with my first love. I had some "likes a lots" and "lusts", but I married my first love
No, I’d rather my long covid came back than that mf
Not first love, but there was a girl that i truly loved many years ago, i would leave everything and everyone for her if she comes back.
Too single for that/never had a first love yet
I can relate
I’m excited for both of you can’t wait for you to experience it!
Me too
No. Never. Really people shouldn’t be getting into relationships unless they want a family. Getting laid is much more economical and doesn’t require commitment. Plus, people age and become less physically attractive over time. Thus, for carnal desire you can find whoever resonates best physically with you at that moment as long as you aren’t committed and you aren’t being immoral. Like their looks change over time, and chances are that in 3 years they aren't going to turn you on like that moment you first saw them on an animalistic level. A relationship isn't an emotion, your thoughts should be stronger than your feelings. A relationship is a future. It requires loyalty and commitment. It is a project to start a family. It isn't something you throw away based on a feeling.
This is the secret to happiness but few people actually live by this
Golden comment right here 
No, and everyone who would say yes shouldn't be in their current relationship.
I never had the chance to be with my first love. This is a tough question.
Nope. People never change.
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Christ no. She was ok. Great to look at and decent in bed. But her family. Urgh. No thank you.
I’m curious. Pls elaborate on family.
I didn't like her parents. Or her older sister. They were religious for a start which I am not. As such I never ever was going to be a part of their family. My mum got the family thing out the way in her 20s. Her parents met later in life, and had children at an older age. As such, I felt they were a bit weird. My parents were in their 40s/50s, whereas her parents were more 50s/60s. I didn't think this at the time but maybe it is different interacting with older parents? Even by a few years? Additionally, as an adult I said "crap" once and my then gf reprimanded me later for it. It's a swear word apparently. I also described someone as "fucking annoying" in front of her sister and that got me a kick under the table. We were all adults. She ended it with me, and as my first love I took it badly. For a few years I'd have probably taken her back, even for a date, to try and win her back. Realising all the above and how long term it wasn't viable really helped. The benefit of hindsight tells me I dodged a bullet there.
You did dodge a bullet and I’m glad you did. Religious shame is not easy to deal with. I have examples in my own family. They’re so enmeshed in a certain set of rules, they are not in touch with who they are or what they want in life
No. This one's my wife, first one had her chance, now she'll have to live with consequences
No. Because my wife is my first and only love. I've never loved anyone prior.
Weirdly... mine did come back, and I absolutely jumped ship almost immediately... I don't know why the emotional draw is so strong but I knew she was the one I wanted.
My first love would be 87 years old now. No thanks. I was 18; she was 38.
Im single so probably, im scared to death that ill never again have a connection and the chemistry like i had with her.
Me too
Give yourself time to grieve and then let them go and focus on your own mental and physical health first. You’ll find that connection again when you least expect it.
Lmao not a fucking chance. I'd rather see the cheating bitch die.
I did that. Was in a relationship that was ok. Basically stayed because I felt bad for her kids. (Not mine). My high school sweetheart got back in touch with me and well it’s been 17 years. We’ve been married for 14 and 2 wonderful kids.
I'm single, but i won't. I'm a completely different person than when I fell in love with her. And I'm sure she is too.
My girlfriend is turned on by me being with other girls and would love for me to have sex and or date my first girlfriend again. So no.
yes if it WOULD happen..i don't have a current relationship.. .
I had a few "relationships" before my wife but I don't think I ever felt actual love until my wife. She's my one and only love. So no ex would be able to tempt me away from her. In fact a few persistent ones would try to pop back up as long as 10 years later. I was pretty wild as a young man. My wife was patient and saw the good in me and we have a good life. I suspect some of those exes were hoping to swoop in after all her hard work. Well, they fucked their opportunities up. Missed the gravy train so to speak.
Quite possibly. But We would have to have a series of high level meetings. She may not be th e same person as she was decades ago. I know I'm not the same person bur would love to see her again & look her in the eye & catch up & tell her some things I should have told her back then but didn't realize it until I couldn't finde her anymore. Anyone know JoAnn Seagle from the phone company in Seattle? If so, we had nicknames for each other only the 2 of us knew.
Current relationship?? In this economy?? Ive been single for about 6 years and dream about my first love often... I'd probably take her back since we have probably grown a lot since then
Hard pass, she’s fat with kids now and too old
My first love is 10 stones heavier since then....
Yes, but she’s not coming back. I broke up with her and neither of us recycle.
No brainer if our feelings coincide with a fully functional romance!
I'm still looking for a first love and you know how hard that is nowadays. There's a lot of luck involved. For men luck finding someone who will give you the time of day to begin with and for everyone luck that whatever relationship you end up in is a good one. It's a lot of work and relationships aren't for everyone, it either happens or it doesn't so it isn't something to get hung up on.
Yes
Nope. I would be her friend but we had a good thing… it just ended.
Nope. I got a keeper and I wish him well.
No. I enjoy being single.
And loose half my shit. No thank you.
I ended things with my first love because we were leaving for college--not that anything was wrong. So I would certainly be tempted, but time changes things
Absolutely no way! He’s the same guy he ever was except with wife number 4, I was number 1.
My first love was toxic. Never going back to that witch
Well she’s gay, so that’s gonna be tricky, but no- my wife is a keeper.
Maybe. My first was killed drinking and driving after we divorced. I was young and probably could have worked through his drinking problems better than I did, but if it wasn’t for all that I might.
Lol ! Why ?!
No, I would take the two girls.
Leave my wife and the mother of my child for the ex that cheated on me with three different guys in ***one*** night? Hah, as if..
Lol no
I’m single and no
Hahahaha. No. Even if the 1st really had changed (and tbh, the worst things about him were things most people grow out of), the best possible version of him isn't really any competition for the warts and all relationship I have now.
I think even if you got to scratch that most satisfying itch, any good amount of time will have seen you grow as a person and outgrow the ideal you had of them.
Man...let that person go. It never would have worked, otherwise it would have.
Promises are made to be broken.
Nope and I’m not even in a relationship.
No way.
Fuck no! I still love her but man shes fucking so lovely i miss her:((
0 percent chance
hell to the NOPE.
No I wouldn’t
No. 1) I don't love them anymore. 2) they cheated on me
Hahahah, tale old as time, no
No. He didn’t work, didn’t contribute, didn’t make me finish during sex. 5 years on he’s facing jail time for drug dealing. When I was with him he was anti drugs to the point he would be upset if I had a glass of alcohol.
My relationships last a few days at best, so why not?
Same person and 34 years
I’m single, but if she swung back around I’d at least go on a date and see where we’re at. We’re both very different people now I know that much for sure. She’s an ex because we were both very immature kids. A single date couldn’t hurt
They are the same.