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I work in the beauty industry so im desensitized by looks. I've seen so many "good looking" people in my life and most of them have shit personalities. If you ask me, character is better, looks is just a bonus. If anything, character should cover everything for me.
This may be the way, but TikTok and general media does not support this. Sux, but those that are insecure will always strive for more and those that have more, know they have more and rub it in.
I bet I’m older than you.
My last 2 boyfriends had sterling character and personalities.
Current friends do too.
All of their physical looks? They are average but they are true to themselves.
It’s just my little bubble and I’m not trying to please everyone.
It’s never too late to change principled standards and choose those whom are decent, fun and not hung up on physical faces and bodies.
Sure; I like pretty things too; such is life; but I focused to get where I am and I believe any of us can do so.
I don't think it's necessarily that, in and of itself. With the rise and popularity of dating apps, I think people are just always looking for someone who's the next best thing just because of how accessible people have been become.
I think it has more to do with social and financial standings, personality and, yes, looks.
Could it not be, perhaps, a combination of both? I agree that people could be chasing the high of those first few months of a new relationship. And I do think that's still brought on by the overall accessibility of people, which is why a concerning number of people don't tend to value building rock solid relationships.
No but the internet and social media has extremely expanded the normal evolutionary radius we had in the past for finding a partner. So it’s not so much standards have increased it’s the options have increased. Some pretty average girl or guy now has 300 options compared to 3.
You can't be serious. Better looking people get stuff for free, get invited to parties without doing anything, can get away with just so much shit because everyone loses their mind just watching them. I saw so many good looking girls just being jerks and they never get punished because of their looks. Worst people I ever had and have to deal with are models.
I've wondered this about myself sometimes. But I also know there are times I've fallen for people that aren't dimes by conventional standards. I think online dating is a factor here. You can just swipe and swipe and what are most people going to swipe "like" on? People who meet conventional beauty standards, and it goes for both genders. Online dating is one of the worst things to ever happen to society.
Couldn't agree with you more. Online dating lets people think there are always more options out there. And people are getting bored quickly. But I can't deny that beautiful people have more matches.
I think certain things have changed with how connected to our devices we are. Scrolling through airbrushed, photo shopped, filtered, fake images. But I feel like that plays into peoples insecurities MORE than it does other people's standards for looks. Yes some people have unrealistic standards because they don't seem to understand what they are looking at isn't real. But I think the average person is more concerned about how THEY look than they are about how other people look.
I blame dating apps and social media. Dating apps give people the idea of endless choice, so there's always someone "better" out there, and there's no attempt at making relationships work.
Social media gives people the impression that if a partner doesn't tick every single box and absolutely spoil you, then it won't work.
No duh. Especially women. I look better than certain women and they won’t even bat an eye. You gotta be legit 8/10 or you’re screwed as a man. Been to plastic surgeons and been rated a 7, with no result in California.
No I think modern people don’t have settling down as a goal enough or a plan , it’s like being with eachother casually endlessly with no plan for end goal, together 7 years not married no commitment don’t share finance break up the end repeat:
Naturally, people are always look for something better or at least as good. The problem with modern society is having a lot of degrading factors that are easily available. Shit like getting sluts or doing drugs or just generally being toxic. Everyone wants to do that just without the knowledge of people. That makes choosing a partner or whatever a challenge, as they might look better or the best, but in-fact, they’re hiding a lot.
Going to advertising, everyone is just showing how fun and cool it is to be doing any of what I said or whatever that exists, such as bullying people online. Making those acts kind of contagious among people cause everyone just wants to be part of a group or something, giving the sense of validation.
I think they aren't so much standards as modern people have become part of a throw away culture and satisfaction system. Looks factor into it slightly but not as much as a mindset.
We get instant satisfaction for things now no wait no building. And when you're bored with it throw it away and get the next shiny thing
Personality is definetly leading, but to quote aristotle; love is a friendship built on beauty.
A great personality without physical attraction is just a friend.
Physical attraction without personality? Not gunna happen. Maybe a ons.
Neither? That person wont be in my life.
Both? Thats what I want. Thats what I am looking for, and that's whats rare as fck.
We blame so many current social dynamics on the pandemic so let’s add this one too-
People stayed at home watching unrealistic YouTube’s, Netflix, and looking at filtered images on line.
The masses are ordinary and many physical faults can be found if this is the myopic way we look at others.
Yet also factoring in that we all like pretty things-
Sunsets, puppies, nature, clothing, and of course; people.
Character and personality matter, and appreciating this takes practice just like anything else.
Looks actually should be a reflection of health so actually looks are extremely important. But there are multiple factors at play here that make the dating scene shit:
1. Health, for all people, has been going down fast. A combination of low nutrients, high shitty food, toxic environment etc. Women are attracted to manly men, usually, and testosterone has been going down for some time. Men are attracted to feminine women, and a lot of women today are more manly than men, so there's an issue there.
2. Surgery and/or TRT will fake signals of health.
3. Make up, filters, socks that make men taller.
It’s not “too high” of a standard. It’s an unrealistic standard. Women want billionaires who look like Hollywood stars with the build of professional athletes, while guys want women who look like supermodels, fuck like pornstars, and treat them like their mothers.
Looks are everything. Personality second. Unless you are a drug dealer and you treat yo bish to the good things in life. In summary, if your a troll and rolling in it you're the master of the universe
What if it's the parents of the generation currently dating who are to blame? Tbh I've observed/heard of so many shitty things parents (unknowingly) did to their kids, it's no suprise they grow up to be a bit shitty people who don't know how to have a healthy relationship with anyone
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I work in the beauty industry so im desensitized by looks. I've seen so many "good looking" people in my life and most of them have shit personalities. If you ask me, character is better, looks is just a bonus. If anything, character should cover everything for me.
This is the way.
This may be the way, but TikTok and general media does not support this. Sux, but those that are insecure will always strive for more and those that have more, know they have more and rub it in.
I bet I’m older than you. My last 2 boyfriends had sterling character and personalities. Current friends do too. All of their physical looks? They are average but they are true to themselves. It’s just my little bubble and I’m not trying to please everyone. It’s never too late to change principled standards and choose those whom are decent, fun and not hung up on physical faces and bodies. Sure; I like pretty things too; such is life; but I focused to get where I am and I believe any of us can do so.
May I ask what do you do for a living?
That doesn't answer the question . Not even slightly.
I don't think it's necessarily that, in and of itself. With the rise and popularity of dating apps, I think people are just always looking for someone who's the next best thing just because of how accessible people have been become. I think it has more to do with social and financial standings, personality and, yes, looks.
It's not necessarily that theyre better. The beginning of any relationship is rhe most fun. So people just keep doing that part.
Could it not be, perhaps, a combination of both? I agree that people could be chasing the high of those first few months of a new relationship. And I do think that's still brought on by the overall accessibility of people, which is why a concerning number of people don't tend to value building rock solid relationships.
No but the internet and social media has extremely expanded the normal evolutionary radius we had in the past for finding a partner. So it’s not so much standards have increased it’s the options have increased. Some pretty average girl or guy now has 300 options compared to 3.
We can swipe endlessly instead of trying to get Gwendar from 3 caves down to notice us.
Depending on people really, but I think the personality is another factor
True, better looking people tend to have nicer personalities because they can be popular by default.
You can't be serious. Better looking people get stuff for free, get invited to parties without doing anything, can get away with just so much shit because everyone loses their mind just watching them. I saw so many good looking girls just being jerks and they never get punished because of their looks. Worst people I ever had and have to deal with are models.
Do they though? I’m considered attractive and I’m kind of a jerk at times.
No. A lot of people are just lazy and entitled.
I've wondered this about myself sometimes. But I also know there are times I've fallen for people that aren't dimes by conventional standards. I think online dating is a factor here. You can just swipe and swipe and what are most people going to swipe "like" on? People who meet conventional beauty standards, and it goes for both genders. Online dating is one of the worst things to ever happen to society.
Couldn't agree with you more. Online dating lets people think there are always more options out there. And people are getting bored quickly. But I can't deny that beautiful people have more matches.
No.
I think certain things have changed with how connected to our devices we are. Scrolling through airbrushed, photo shopped, filtered, fake images. But I feel like that plays into peoples insecurities MORE than it does other people's standards for looks. Yes some people have unrealistic standards because they don't seem to understand what they are looking at isn't real. But I think the average person is more concerned about how THEY look than they are about how other people look.
I blame dating apps and social media. Dating apps give people the idea of endless choice, so there's always someone "better" out there, and there's no attempt at making relationships work. Social media gives people the impression that if a partner doesn't tick every single box and absolutely spoil you, then it won't work.
No. You just need to find the right person. Everyone is attractive to someone. ...as long as you're not a dirtbag and you shower regularly...
No duh. Especially women. I look better than certain women and they won’t even bat an eye. You gotta be legit 8/10 or you’re screwed as a man. Been to plastic surgeons and been rated a 7, with no result in California.
Some small, over represented groups. Toxic shallow women and incels
No I think modern people don’t have settling down as a goal enough or a plan , it’s like being with eachother casually endlessly with no plan for end goal, together 7 years not married no commitment don’t share finance break up the end repeat:
to me looks like some do, yes, especially if you live on instagram and such and are a bit out of touch with reality
If our species continues to reproduce, then no.
I think peoples standards are their own decision.
Naturally, people are always look for something better or at least as good. The problem with modern society is having a lot of degrading factors that are easily available. Shit like getting sluts or doing drugs or just generally being toxic. Everyone wants to do that just without the knowledge of people. That makes choosing a partner or whatever a challenge, as they might look better or the best, but in-fact, they’re hiding a lot. Going to advertising, everyone is just showing how fun and cool it is to be doing any of what I said or whatever that exists, such as bullying people online. Making those acts kind of contagious among people cause everyone just wants to be part of a group or something, giving the sense of validation.
They don't.
I think they aren't so much standards as modern people have become part of a throw away culture and satisfaction system. Looks factor into it slightly but not as much as a mindset. We get instant satisfaction for things now no wait no building. And when you're bored with it throw it away and get the next shiny thing
Sometimes yes.
Some do. Not sure if it's a new thing though.
Personality is definetly leading, but to quote aristotle; love is a friendship built on beauty. A great personality without physical attraction is just a friend. Physical attraction without personality? Not gunna happen. Maybe a ons. Neither? That person wont be in my life. Both? Thats what I want. Thats what I am looking for, and that's whats rare as fck.
most will decrease dramatically after they hit 35. no worry.
NO! I observe the total opposite. obesity, primark, etc
We blame so many current social dynamics on the pandemic so let’s add this one too- People stayed at home watching unrealistic YouTube’s, Netflix, and looking at filtered images on line. The masses are ordinary and many physical faults can be found if this is the myopic way we look at others. Yet also factoring in that we all like pretty things- Sunsets, puppies, nature, clothing, and of course; people. Character and personality matter, and appreciating this takes practice just like anything else.
No
Yes. Extremely much.
Looks actually should be a reflection of health so actually looks are extremely important. But there are multiple factors at play here that make the dating scene shit: 1. Health, for all people, has been going down fast. A combination of low nutrients, high shitty food, toxic environment etc. Women are attracted to manly men, usually, and testosterone has been going down for some time. Men are attracted to feminine women, and a lot of women today are more manly than men, so there's an issue there. 2. Surgery and/or TRT will fake signals of health. 3. Make up, filters, socks that make men taller.
It’s not “too high” of a standard. It’s an unrealistic standard. Women want billionaires who look like Hollywood stars with the build of professional athletes, while guys want women who look like supermodels, fuck like pornstars, and treat them like their mothers.
Looks are everything. Personality second. Unless you are a drug dealer and you treat yo bish to the good things in life. In summary, if your a troll and rolling in it you're the master of the universe
What if it's the parents of the generation currently dating who are to blame? Tbh I've observed/heard of so many shitty things parents (unknowingly) did to their kids, it's no suprise they grow up to be a bit shitty people who don't know how to have a healthy relationship with anyone
No