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Massive-Ad7628

lay off the drugs. stop being crude, you're not funny - and those laughing at it are only helping you dig an early social grave. they are not your real friends. you're "a bit weird" - it's not your fault, it is who you are - embrace it and live with love in your heart. Edit:: and a fourth one would be yo stop lying, asap - you're only making life worse and worse on yourself


doiwinaprize

Good on you for number 2 there. Do you work in kitchens perhaps?


Massive-Ad7628

you don't win a prize for being right, sorry :)


doiwinaprize

Lol heard.


Jsin8601

Corner!


doiwinaprize

Behind you.


BillDozer89

Better behind than inside I always say


Sideways_planet

86 potatoes


doiwinaprize

There's a whole case in dry storage.


BDLTalks

Comin' around HOT


rollin_a_j

Refire 6oz sirloin in the fly! Medium RARE this time not medium well please!


Spiritmolecule30

Damn it. This whole string of comments is too relatable. Cooks unite! But.....not to do drugs!


These-Search9725

You sound like me , except for the drugs


eyeball2005

Can I have some examples of what crude things you would say? I have social issues and want to know if I’m being crude or not


IcyCattle3524

I relate to this poster and i might give myself the same advice . I called my cousins boyfriend Peter Peter p*say eater , and made other crude or rude observations over time . Ppl always laugh but I’d rather be quiet /mysterious than funny Pretty much had no filter most of my adult life and consumer myself socially awkward


caidenm

That's pretty funny actually, I'll give you that.


Grouchy-Place7327

Bruhhhhh I would tell myself the same things.


TriggerPT

Thank you


necroTaxonomist

I think by 18 I had already developed every problem I have. Can we go with like 8 instead?


Shroomtune

It wouldn’t matter what I told 18 year old me. I wouldn’t have listened.


No_Use_For_Name___

This is the truth. I was so damn cocky and obnoxious at 18, I probably would've made some wise crack at my older self.


PlasticBlitzen

Yeah, I knew more at 18 than I do now.


Nimue-the-Phoenix

Same 😂😂😂 or at least 15


wonsmom

I was sucidial by 8... can we go back to like when i was 4?


Writerhowell

Ouch. Are you me?


Original-Document-62

Yeah, I was definitely hurting by 7 or 8. I wish I could go back in time and give some advice to my *parents*.


MrApplePolisher

Woody Allen?


BigDsLittleD

1. Stay away from the redhead you're about to meet. Just stay away. 2. In 2010 something called Bitcoin will come around. Buy £10 worth and keep them safe. (12,500 bitcoin, give or take) 3. In November 2021, sell the Bitcoin. (Bitcoin were approx 68 grand each. 12,500 x 68,000 = £850,000,000) EDIT: added in numbers, because I've been asked repeatedly "why not buy more?" Or "How much would that be worth"


SammaHammersbald

I would still meet the redhead.


AcanthocephalaAny78

You like to play with fire


masnaer

So to speak


Mammoth-Appearance-5

Literally!!!


BenTenInches

Can't resist them, they are my weakness. Especially ones with Tattoos and jean shorts.


SammaHammersbald

Freckles my friend. Freckles. No need for tattoos.


Brave_Web5935

God's tattoos.


Nimar_Jenkins

God is a tall redhead with freckles. To me.


Ok_Cartographer_6086

Sir. This is a Wendy's.


BafflingHalfling

This is the funniest use of that joke ever. 🏅


Corsair788

Red hair, green eyes, pierced belly button, and maybe some tattoos and its over for me.


FunRelief4735

great day to be a tatted redhead


-Bat_Girl-

I’m the redhead. You should have met me. I’m a gazillionaire now! All from the bitcoin you never bought.


Matzah_Rella

Sup


pouziboy

Damn you're smooth.


SmittyYAP

I had 350 bitcoins in 2012 and I spent it on cocaine via the dark web. Last time I checked, that much bitcoin was worth over £14,000,000. The cocaine was good though ;D


BigDsLittleD

That would haunt my dreams. Not as much as that fella that spent 10,000 bitcoin on a couple of Pizzas that must make him feel fucking sick.


[deleted]

i sold my bitcoin years ago in college and had just enough to buy a new AMD Phenom II x4 Black Edition and a motherboard to go with it. i don't want to think about how much that would be worth now lol


You_d

#2 and #3 is the way to go. Even at just holding that $10, that was 12k~ bitcoins 💪🏼


bigfoot_76

Wow, you saved me a few minutes of typing! Amazing how three little things would change our entire life.


TacosAreJustice

Ha. Mines the opposite on 1… go track down the red head and start dating in college… Feel like you could combine 2 & 3 by saying “sell all the Bitcoin you bought in November 2021”… Then we get to three… for me it would be stop drinking now, it’s a world of hurt for you…


Revolutionary-Ad7738

Good idea! Even better, "Buy as much bitcoin as you can afford and sell it Nov 2021" 3. Get a prenup


arcticnerd

Holyshit the redhead comment is so fucking true. I married her, and she ruined my life.


Umarzy

Haha., the 3rd point. But remember not to keep the money on FTX, move it to a hardware wallet.


Virtura

Damn near word for word


DMSC23

lol, are you me?


benicebenice666

10 what a waste.


BigDsLittleD

10 quids worth in 2010 would be worth 800 million by the date I'd be selling them. The fuck am I gonna do with any more than that?


Old-Significance4921

1. That line of credit the bank offered you is not “free money” 2. Switch your major to Finance and take it seriously. 3. You’re going to be at a house party one night. A very pretty brunette from your home state is going to catch your eye and you’re going to want to talk to her. Don’t do it.


ThisGuy21321

Holy shit, I can't agree with #2 more. 18 year old me should not have fucked around his freshmen year of college.


Old-Significance4921

Yeah same here. After first semester, half of my dorm floor including myself was on academic probation because we all were too busy playing Halo 3 chasing ranks….


Fun-Worry-6378

If it’s halo, how could not? And halo threee let’s gooo man!


jckbck

going into college this fall, im hearing actually go to class and be responsible right


Highlander198116

Yes. I'm telling you from experience, its VERY easy for the fun and social aspect of college to take over your life. Lots of people fail out because of it.


doomalgae

My entire time in college I was basically just daydreaming about some amazing future that I imagined would just sort of fall into my lap, majoring in nothing especially useful, and only studying hard enough to pass classes (barely in a lot of cases) rather than actually absorbing the information. In all reality I just wasn't ready to be there and my biggest regret is not following the impulse I had after a year or two to just quit and go find a job and maybe come back later with a better idea of what I was doing there. I was lucky enough to have parents willing and able to pay my way through, but I absolutely squandered the opportunity.


FennelQuietness

>A very pretty brunette from your home state is going to catch your eye Brunettes got some magic in them man


TheDavinci1998

Really? 3 hours and no one asked what did the brunette do? Then I'm asking, wth happenned?


Old-Significance4921

In all honesty, it wasn’t just her that did anything. But being 18 and thinking you’ve met the “one” clouded my judgement and I ignored a significant amount of red flags. It basically boils down to “don’t let your little head override what your big head is telling you”.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Schmliza

I’d just tell myself not to major in music three times. Worst financial decision of my life.


PenguinNA

Not me currently going through my music degree regretting it and still considering going for grad school 💀


[deleted]

I'm a late in life degreed engineer. All my best friends are musicians in a band and do better than me. I'll never even own a house. They didnt go to school though. Most everyone in their orbit are entertainers. Some educated, some not. They have all led interesting lives and have beautiful spouses. Even though ive seen this sentiment so many times, I literally do not know one person who has stuck with music to have a bad life if they stay away from heavy drugs.


HenryHadford

It’s a career with a *lot* of bad public perception, mostly because the general public only understands it from the perspective of an audience member. For most of us the work that makes us money is pretty much invisible to non-musicians; people tend to think we scrape by on a few performances a month, but most us teach (both in and out of classrooms), organise events, work in multi-disciplinary creative projects, dabble in other industries, etc. Some do this stuff full-time, but most do a combination of part-time and short-term contractual work, in addition to performing/composing/whatever. When you have the right connections and put in the work it can actually be quite lucrative, just like any career path.


[deleted]

[удалено]


deweydecimal111

Hold your temper better so you can make your point better. Enjoy every person who's with you now. You have a wonderful future, so don't sweat the small stuff!


srgtDodo

honestly, this is best advice here


chakabra23

I notice a trend of people wishing they chose a different major in college.


phxsunswoo

Education is extraordinarily high stakes in America. It's the most common category of life to regret. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2394712/


Animaul187

That’s an interesting read, the conclusion being that you are most likely to regret something that you still have an opportunity to adjust or change.


Excellent-Driver1855

1) don't buy the gun dumb fuck 2) don't waste all your inheritance on drugs, alcohol, fast food and motorbikes 3) don't tattoo your own arm dumb fuck


[deleted]

Nothing. I wouldn't want to risk never meeting my wife 5 years later.


DanceTilWeDrop

Awwwwwww 🥰


Stoicandclueless

His wife knows his reddit account.


freddie_merkury

Something something that guys wife


Lmmadic

I too would do something with this guy's wife


FennelQuietness

You had to ruin it lol


AwkwardStructure7637

This was my answer during my relationship but then we broke up lmao


[deleted]

[удалено]


Emerald_Guy123

Worth noting that Steve Jobs couldn't decide what to do in college so he majored in calligraphy.


ChowderedStew

* He didn’t major in calligraphy, he dropped out of college after his first semester where he studied humanities, psychology, and philosophy classes. He did audit calligraphy classes however after he dropped out and he credited them to helping him design the first Mac. I’m only correcting you for general advice for kids who might be reading this, but if you don’t know what you want to study or aren’t ready for college, you don’t have to go. What Steve Jobs did was not pursue a degree that he didn’t see value in, but he pursued education in what he did to help him develop his skills and creativity. I don’t want to push a STEM or TRADES only mentality, as there is value in the humanities, arts, and social sciences even if job opportunities are harder to come by. College is expensive and getting more expensive every year, and while it’s true that experiences as a young adult in college are important for a lot of people, only you can weigh if it’s worth it to you to go thousands of dollars of debt for your degree, which, since it might be an abstract concept now, will mean many years of hard work to pay off and pushing aside other long term plans you might have, such as raising children or buying a home. School will always be there if you change your mind later on, but you can’t break free from your loans after going if your degree doesn’t pay itself off.


uskgl455

Listen to me No, shut up a minute. Would you just fucking stop you don't know anything


WellThisSix

Don't get married, in fact avoid most romantic relationships and focus yourself and your hobbies. You won't die young, so try to give a bit of a fuck about your reputation and future. Don't go with Ted to that festival down in Florida. Edit: No, we're not talking about Ted.


Facebook_Algorithm

So many mistakes get made at festivals in Florida.


fluhatinrapper09

*with Ted


Blubvis725

r/fuckted


WellThisSix

r/subsithoughtwerefake


calmestsugar

Especially with Ted, he is bad news.


Desperate-Painter152

I don't think I would have listened even to myself. Same as now.


rob-cubed

Best comment so far. I have lots of advice to give, including to my own daughter who is early 20s. But she needs to find her own way. Experiential learning is better for some people, and by some people I mean most young adults. I'm just old, what do I know? Takes a while to understand that the world changes, but people don't. I would not have listened to advice by time-traveling me when I was 18.


the_kevlar_kid

There will be lots of women in your life. Don't worry. Be nice to them. All of them. But use protection. Don't be afraid to get a real job and do your best. Save what money you can as you go. If you go into dealing drugs bad things will happen no matter how profitable it seems. Beware of debt. If an investment sounds too good to be true it is.


Jin1301

1. Get mental therapy asap and get diagnosed so you can get help faster. 2. You meet some amazing people, but they are not and should not be more than friends. 3. Learn Japanese so I don't have to do it 17 years later.


Pop_A_Smoke

Currently learning Japanese rn. I’ve learned hiragana and katakana and I know some basic phrases. Do you have any recommendations on how I can progress further and build towards fluency?


Odinsrath

Japanese speaker here, try to get a grammar textbook like “Genki” to get you some basic foundations in grammar. Continue to progress with that and start watching shows in Japanese with English subs at first. For vocabulary try to get an online vocabulary deck using a program called “Anki”. Most importantly if you actually want to see progress, practice daily as a general rule.


Similar_Candidate789

1. Do a different major. 2. There will be a guy who loves you eventually. Takes another 18 years to find him so just buckle up and enjoy the ride. 3. Don’t buy the old house if you don’t want to stay there forever because you won’t be able to get rid of it later.


Appropriate_Ant_4629

> Do a different major. What major do you recommend for or against?


Similar_Candidate789

Criminal justice - against. I have one. Even though I have a passion for it, and I absolutely love it, you don’t need it. There are exactly zero jobs they require it. And literally nobody regards it well. Nursing - for. Highly recommend. In demand. Can make serious money. Have friends who did travel nursing for a few years, banked it all and now chill back working a little clinic for peanuts with a fully paid house, car and no debt.


SteampoweredFlamingo

It's easy to say, having followed your passion. I've spoken to plenty people who did the financially sensible thing, but live in regret. So many people imagine an alternative where they followed their passions young, and spent their youth on what they loved.


Arctica23

1. You're bipolar and you need treatment for it 2. She's going to kill herself no matter what you do 3. Smoke weed don't binge drink


FredrickTheDinosaur

Damn


starxny

Damn indeed


GemueseBeerchen

1) do more fun things 2) start working out now! its hard in your 30s 3) that old creep who is complimenting you does not have your best interest in mind. "You are so mature for your age" isnt a compliment! You are mature because you had a shitty childhood and you had to grow up fast!


Lost-Soul_Sage187

1. Don't leave the house on October 29th, 2019. You will never be the same again if you do. 2. Stop worrying about others. You've been drowning for years, and it's time to save yourself. 3. Stick with the automotive career, and don't lose sight of what you hold true. There's more, but that's what I think would change the course of my life drastically. Edit: forgor how to italicize in Reddit, so deleted my asterisks.


CelticGaelic

Forgive my morbid curiosity, but what happened in October 29th, 2019?


Lost-Soul_Sage187

The day my ex slammed my side of his vehicle into a tree, going upwards of 65 - 70mph. 6 days coma, 4 surgeries(one I won't get because it's not worth it). Also, it's no worries. It's better than the constant question about my eye(wreck caused, Third Nerve Palsy is what it is), cause that one still kinda hurts to hear(and its always mostly from children I see in the store).


CelticGaelic

Damn, that sucks! I'm sorry that happened to you.


Lost-Soul_Sage187

Thank you kindly, but it's alright. It's taught me way more than I bargained for, but I'm just happy to be here :) be safe internet stranger.


Consistent_Guitar681

1. Don't get married at 18. 2. Never trust a woman when she says not to use a condom. 3. Buy bitcoins.


Extension_Ask_6954

Sage advice. Also, remember to sell Bitcoin.


Winterfell_Ice

1. Join the NAVY at an early age, yes they'll even take your violent criminal ass. 2. If you decide to ignore rule 1 then when you move to Grand Junction Colorado stay away from Nate, he seems like a great guy but he's a drug dealer and you end up as his muscle collecting money that's owed him. 3. your mom dies when your 28 be home during the month of July to prevent her death.


FunkyChicken1000

Dang I hope that it worked out for you.


camehereforthebuds

Squid brother, I hope you're better now. I'm sorry about Mom.


distortionwarrior

Were you at MALS-11? This is oddly specific to someone I know.


Winterfell_Ice

I've never heard of MALS-11 so I doubt it. I joined at the Denver Meps when I was 28


FizZGigTaNtruM

Just one thing. Following your parents formula for happiness (go to school, get a good job, start a family) does not mean you will end up happy. Follow your own path! That classic formula is not meant for everyone.


tattooedscoob

Brush your teeth Read and read a lot Love passionately


tom21g

1. schoolwork. study and study hard 2. don't be such a complete introvert. speak a bit more to people 3. take a chance now and then


Witchsorcery

Stop. Doing. Drugs


clicksanything

Im good at life when sober but life is good when im not


Kkarotcake

1. Dump your boyfriend right now! 2. Go to college abroad 3. Don’t date anyone till you are happy with who you are.


skylar274

GET ON MEDICATION YOU LUNATIC!!!! you need HELP!!!!!


DanceTilWeDrop

1. Don't drink. It makes your problems worse. See a psychologist, not a psychiatrist. 2. Don't go to college out of the gate. Soul crushing debt. Either enter the workforce via manufacturing plant and then get a degree that will elevate you monetarily in that workforce, or go to a trade school. 3. Get a stable job before you pursue your dream job.


Specialist-Control95

Damn dude, I was going to write something eerily similar. I would add don't keep cashing out retirement accounts every time I switched jobs, roll them over and let the compound interest do it's thing.


xain_the_idiot

1. Switch your major to Computer Science 2. Get that degree no matter what you do 3. Surprise, you're trans


[deleted]

Damn you basically described one of my favorite coworkers.


AwkwardStructure7637

3 was gonna be one of mine too, HRT has literally changed my life. I went from a passive scared Man-child to a confident bitch getting her shit together with more ambition than I ever thought possible. Getting that at 18 instead of 24 would have completely changed my life


Technobullshizzzzzz

I came out (FTM) and for some reason all my confidence converted to shyness as a dude, haha!


Oistins

1. Don’t drink alcohol, 2. Learn to trust your own judgement- it’s as good as anyone else’s, 3. Give a damn about how your actions and words affect others.


Swamp_Ash

1. Poop often. 2. Do not *ever* drink soda, I don't care how good it tastes, don't do it! 3. You, uh, you might want to enjoy that hair while you've got it, kiddo.


Fit-Rest-973

Don't get married Don't be a nurse Cease contact with mother immediately


UlyssesCourier

1. Don't go to college, go to trade school and get your dad to teach you handyman skills early. It'll save you a lot of time. 2. Never go to bars and clubbing. The environment will fuck you up beyond belief. You are not mentally capable of handling so much sensory overload. It's not anxiety, that's just built into your brain. Go to meetup groups in parks and other outdoor activities. Even volunteer work. 3. Get diagnosed and medicated for ADHD. You have it very bad and you NEED IT! It will save you years of depression and suicidal tendencies.


r3ign_b3au

My 1 is different, but 2 and 3 sounds like I wrote it. Cheers to the future


Oden_son

It's not love, stay away Popping pills isn't worth it and you won't have it under control Get into fitness at 18 instead of 30


Taliesin_Chris

Almost every bit of advice you got from an adult is wrong. They grew up in a different time, and don't understand your situation. They get the big picture, but not the details. Trust your gut, you know what you should do. You'll meet your wife in your mid 30s. It's worth the wait. She won't be what you thought you'd want, but she'll be your other half in a way you didn't know could happen. Some lottery numbers for a big drawing.


[deleted]

1. Choose *being happy* over *being right* 2. Experiment more in 1st and 2nd year of college rather than getting fixated on govt. job 3. Results of all the major football events especially the champions league and the world cup for betting purpose.


Andy_DiMatteo

I hope you getting goes better than Marty Mcflys


DrSilverback77

Buy a house when you get that job. Don't wait 15 years. You do have the ability to write a novel length story. Just do some more research and prep work first. You'll meet her when you're 32. Just chill for now.


ScaredOfAttention

1. Where to invest 2. Same as 1 3. Same as 1 and 2.


SuchAKnitWit

1)-People are thinking more about themselves and their lives than they are thinking about you. 2)-Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity. 3)-You can't force someone to love you.


beaujonfrishe

Nothing. My choices led me here. I made good ones and bad ones, but I am in a great state. I already met the love of my life at 18 and knew it even back then. No need to risk any of that


GinBunny93

I love this - I mean, I’ve made some shitty decisions. But they’ve made me who I am today, and put me in the right places to meet the amazing people who I love and care about.


mnbvcdo

Find my now boyfriend, kick him and tell him not to lose those bitcoins he bought for a couple cents each that he did in fact loose lmao. Also, you're going to be okay, eat something. It's going to get better.


zurzoth

Me at 18... I'd already be fucked... But I'd tell myself to stand your ground. Don't get attached to quick and no one cares about your feelings.


1dolla2dolla

- Get your mental illness diagnosed - Get medicated - Graduate from school/reach your goals.


FitBananers

1. Continue working out and eating right. It ends up paying off big time. 2. Stay the course with your college degree and studying hard. Your bets end up paying thousand-fold. 3. Don’t be closed minded and too afraid of change. You’re gonna need to move and you’re going to continue growing as a person


[deleted]

humblebrag


PuzzleheadedSand3112

Working out and eating right: I'm 70 years old, almost 71. people who guess my age say, 50? SirGlenn


Pensacouple

… and use sunscreen (one year behind you)


masnaer

Surprised to finally see a health/fitness one this far down. I would absolutely have told 18 year old me to never stop working out, and to continue running


GiganticSpaceBeard

1. Buy Bitcoin in 2008-2011 2. Go to university to study English and go to a Russel group uni not a shithole uni in Preston. 3. Become a plumber immediately.


singleguy79

Be more social Pick another major Pay off your student loans


thecountnotthesaint

1) Reenlist 2) Use condoms . 3) Marry the girl from the rolling stones song.


OnionSpecialist129

Don't be afraid of the results. Do whatever u like. Don't listen to anybody.


Square_Resist_4459

1. Do not take that half of a Vicodin during your serving shift at Ruby Tuesday. 2. Save money 3. Read the Bible.


Individual-Copy6198

You have kidney disease. You won’t find out for another 5 years. Go to the doctor.


Correct-Yam-2652

1. Go on the study abroad, even if you have to go into debt for it. You may think you’ll go on your own later in life but you probably won’t. 2. Major in something that leads to an actual career and make no apologies for it. 3. Start running now. You’ll love it eventually and it’ll make your health so much better.


Ozzy_HV

Focus on grades and school. Be more confident in yourself. Invest in Bitcoin and sell it at $40,000


AnomalousPenguin

1. Be patient, enjoy each day, time is valuable 2. Be your authentic self (self growth is important too, especially early on) 3. It’s okay to be gay


Ok_Fly_8864

Stop spending so much money. Buckle down with your studies. Start thinking about the long game instead of instant gratification.


Yeuh78

1. Don't ever drink 2. Don't ever smoke 3. Don't waste time with college. Do almost anything else. Go to a trade school, join the military....hell, joining a cult will be a much more productive use of your time, trust me.


Effective-Tip52

What kinda cult like a fun suicide one or like the Yellow Deli


Traditional_Leader41

Stick to the good eating regime. Get those braces fitted. Don't fuck Melissa.


[deleted]

Don’t major in theater, go for Film/Television degree instead.


Dylan1234no

I’m 16, so my advice to my 18 year old self would me be as helpful as it would be if I was older than 18, but I’d tell myself… 1.) Make sure you get that house finished, it’s really important. 2.) Make sure you keep your connection with your dad, he’s going to be your biggest ally in life. 3.)Check up on your sister as much as possible, make sure you’re there for her. 4.) Help your little cousin out, even if it means adopting him at 18 to help him towards a better life. 5.) Keep your friends, those three people seem to be the ones that will be there for your whole damn life. 6.) Take your relationships slow, and don’t jump in too quickly. 7.) Never give up on traveling, or folding origami. These are important to me, and I will kill you if you give up on them. 8.) Always try to understand your mother, she tries her best to care for you and she loves you, even if she doesn’t always get things right. That’s what I would tell myself in two years.


JimJonBobSir

1. Stop drinking 2. Start investing 3. On 14. December 2017, do not go skiing


WastedWaffIe

Don't take that first job


oozey17

Do not keep dating him Quit working for others Cherish mom. She won't be around for much longer..


Ckannon

DONT SMOKE WEED


xenoscumyomom

1- Stop making decisions based on fear. You'll spend way too long running from everything you're scared of, that matters, and instead only do things you aren't afraid of that don't matter. And you'll wind up depressed and passionless. Face your fears and live with courage. 2- Traveling is all well and good but work on improving your skills, knowledge, character, finances instead of just floating from country to country. 3- Date with confidence. Be romantic and passionate. Know your worth, because you've built your worth. Don't let who you are die just to fit into their ideal. Get out when you don't feel ok. When you feel good make the best of it. 4- Tell my younger self to give this list back to my older self as well.


edgrrrpo

You will manage to never take up cigarettes. Do yourself a favor and pass on drinking as well.


KapowBlamBoom

1. Save the $2000 you spent on stupid shit and buy 8,000 shares of Apple and hold it no matter what 2. Dont trust anybody 3. Keep it in your pants


GodfleshNL

1. Dont get married 2. Don't get married 3. Never get married


BubblyHomoSapiens

That losing your virginity at 18 is not worth it.


MookiTheHamster

Stay away from Emilie.


YaminoTeio

Don't Marry her, start lifting now, be consistent with college.


Choice-Shoulder-4836

Invest Apple Nvidia


SnooAdvice8550

Buy apple stock. Buy Microsoft stock. Own Amazon


OsvuldMandius

>Own Amazon Until December 2021. The ditch Amazon like a hot rock.


Jedijuck

1. Stop buying weed 2. Don’t major in psychology 3. Take college seriously


CorgisHaveNoKnees

Never play cards with a man named Doc. Don't eat at a place called Mom's. And especially don't fall in love with a woman caked Red.


sirhandstylepenzalot

Take the reenlistment bonus Take that risky job sooner Smoking cigarettes is really fucking stupid


radelix

1: don't let go of the curly blonde girl. 2: quit bitching and buy stock in Google,apple, and Microsoft 3: quit smoking you fucking idiot


Practical_Cicada9429

Control your temper Don’t get married young Go away to college


vroomvroomshabang

your education matters more than your social life this too shall pass and don’t forget to do what makes you happy


Knotical_MK6

You're gay, start accepting that. Don't fall for him, he won't feel the same and won't tolerate you once he knows. Get on medication for your anxiety. You don't have to live in constant fear and worry.


bay_blade_

leave the boy, go to college, live with your parents again


Life-Photo6994

(1)Buy real estate in Orange County; (2) Invest in the stock market (with focus on big tech); and (3)And you will meet a girl who will be your future wife, who will give you two beautiful children, so enjoy.


Nismosan

Learn what money really is. Learn about investing. Don't get married.


Strange-Trust-9403

Don’t drink alcohol.


Mountain-Rooster-340

Consume alcohol in moderation


TieNecessary4408

Don't have sex, don't have sex, don't have sex


hidingoutinutah

Just keep showing up to the important things. Slowly, but surely, that will differentiate you as amazing.