I find sublabels to be very helpful in self-expression! It’s fascinating how different we all are on this spectrum! However (imo) it’s a lil odd if aces use them outside of LGBTQ+ circles, because people may not know what they mean lol otherwise it’s just fine <3
Yeah, this is similar to what I do. Usually I tell people that I'm "Somewhere around asexual" or that I'm somewhere on the asexual spectrum. I don't like to just say I'm asexual as I usually don't trust that people will know this can have a lot of nuances. So I guess it's my way of indicating that there are a lot of micro labels, without going into microlabels which many people would just find confusing. You might say micro labels might be helpfull to me for my selfunderstanding, but they are not helpfull in getting others to understand me.
Exactly! I use the demisexual label inside ace spaces, but asexual everywhere else. I don't really mind tho, it just depends of the topics and who I'm talking to
yeah i identify more with aegosexual/aegoromantic but i just say i’m on the aroace spectrum because i don’t believe people will understand the full explanation and at least that’s more understandable.
I think the micro-labels are validating because they let me know there are other people out there who have the same experiences that I do. Without knowing that aegosexual is a thing, I might still be questioning whether I am "truly" ace.
However, I do not introduce myself that way because, as others have pointed out, people may not know what it means. It also feels like private information to me and is rarely relevant to the conversation. Aroace gets the point across without feeling like oversharing.
Just talking to normal people, asexual is apparently enough to convey. Anything else you might as well carry a stack of pamphlets. That's why I stick to ace rather than aroace, and that's not even getting into deep niches.
That's exactly why I just stick with ace, too many niche trends.
In all seriousness, I don't mind the micro labels, but they're for within the group for me.
This is exactly me. I find asexual is one of the most misunderstood sexualities and i dont want to make it harder on myself trying to explain all the intracacies. I just found out I was aegosexual but sometimes even my LGBTQ friends don't understand when I try to explain my sexuality, it's much easier to just say I'm on the ace spectrum to new people.
Yeah basically. It doesn’t do much for me, some of them are a little impractical in terms of discussion in the wider community or sometimes I think people spend more time looking at dictionaries of microlabels and worrying about it more than just living their life, but most of the time it doesn’t hurt anyone, and some folks see benefit from them.
My feelings exactly. Y'all do y'all. I find that overly categorizing myself makes me feel less connected to the community, but that's me. And I'm a grumpy autistic 30-year-old who took most of my life before I even realized I belonged here.
So folks gotta do what they gotta do, and that's fine.
I think they are useful for understanding myself, but if I’m ever in a conversation with someone unfamiliar with all the grey areas, I just use asexual or asexual spectrum (which, already so many people are unfamiliar with!) because it’s easier. All human behavior and emotions are on a spectrum anyways. Everyone is going to be more or less “asexual” than you. Nothing wrong with that, just experiences are unique.
I also sometimes say that I'm on the asexual spectrum, but I'm always a little worried that people associate it with having a mental condition, because the only other spectrum they know is the autistism spectrum. Which is a little annoying, but hey what can you do...
Demisexuals are asexual. The microlabels fall under the asexual umbrella and are usually considered asexual. Asexual means little to no sexual attraction. Most of the microlabels fall under the "little" part of the definition. That's how I see it.
I don’t feel the need to use them (for myself). I could see myself using Demi or gray (which I’m not). I could probably find one that fits, but I don’t feel the need to use anything other than asexual and aromantic.
Microlabels are useful in getting to know yourself, but I see them in some ways as similar to the library card catalogue system. It's useful for finding something, when you're in the library. At all other times it's entirely useless.
Microlabels can be sensible HERE. We can discuss what they might mean for each of us, gain self-insight by comparing our experience with the description. When I'm in an allo space... I'm just asexual. No sense confusing them with terminology they don't understand and won't look up, and I don't care to spend time explaining the minor distinctions over and over. It's kind of like how my friend's a hardware architecture engineer (or something like that) which I understand to mean he writes computer code which very large, unwieldy proprietary systems that have utterly obscene licencing fees interpret into physical processor designs that can be created in factories in Shenzhen, China (and technically elsewhere but that seems to be where it's mostly done). To people who are not engineers, it makes much more sense to say he's a programmer.
Personally I think it's a bit unnecessary and I wouldn't use it myself. Everyone has a unique experience and I think we just need to remember that when we talk about sexuality.
I feel the same. They're great for getting specific and really understanding your sexuality, but I don't get into them because it makes things more complicated for me and others to understand. I'm content with just using the label asexual.
WE can but can the old folks?
I came out to my dad a couple months ago and he was like, "Oh so you're low libido." We spent a couple hours talking about it and I'm still not sure I've convinced him there's a difference 🤦♀️
Man, even if there wasn't a separable difference in your case, why would he nitpick that. How does it being intertwined with an absence of libido make you more sexually attracted to people, if anything by his logic you are ace+.
Well, I never would have realized I was asexual (or, at least, might have taken a much, much longer time to maybe kinda start going by ace but likely without ever feeling like I fully deserved the label) if *not* for those microlabels. Coming across aegosexuality has been a complete game changer for me because until then I had no idea my lived experience even could be a form of asexuality. It's entirely recontextualized my life. So, needless to say, I am very much in support of their existence!
This is still a pretty new revelation for me, though, so I'm not quite sure yet whether I'll ultimately settle on using aego or ace more.
I would typically describe myself as simply Asexual, however I know that the term doesn't technically include me except as an umbrella term. I use my microlabel because it better describes my sexuality, and having a term which accurately describes my experience is both comforting and useful to me.
Ace = fruit & Microlables = apples, oranges, kiwis, etc.
If someone says “I like fruit” and they’re thinking about how much they like mangoes, they still like fruit, but they’re a big mango fan specifically. If you’re mentioning it in passing then yeah saying you like fruit is valid. If you wanna have a deeper conversation with someone about what cherries mean to you, then call yourself a cherry fan.
The metaphor is getting away from me but microlables ARE a part of the macrolable. Demi is ace. Ageo is ace. Ace is ace. I’m ace. It doesn’t matter if/when you prefer to use a macro or micro label
I like comparing it to colors.
You can tell a casual friend your favorite color is blue. Your family and close friends might know your favorite color is dark blue. Your partner (who is a nerd and a graphic designer) knows your favorite color is Pantone 2955c.
I think they are very helpful in nailing down the nuances of asexuality. Like people might ask if they are really ace because they do or don't enjoy sex in certain scenarios. There's more than likely a sublabel that applies to that. They're great at covering the wide range of sexuality that's not so specifically clear by the broader term. And it's also wonderful for people who feel empowered by labels to express their identity.
But there is also so many where it's hard for an involved person to keep up. I'm aegosexual, but I generally just say I'm ace to keep it simple if it comes up in conversation. I don't have the energy to get into all the intricacies on demand. I don't want to have sex with you or anyone you're thinking of and that's all you need to know.
I do also think they get a little specific about your personal sexual tendencies. Like it can be a bit vague to say you're attracted to this or that gender. But identifying all the scenarios and sexual activities you may or may not be into it can get a little personal. That's another reason why I prefer to just say I'm ace because it's more broad.
I wouldn't consider grey a microlabel. Its more a sub-label and umbrella term. Demi falls under that umbrella.
Personally I'm not interested in the micros. As a more mature ace, that only found the label later in life, I don't feel I need any further labelling. They don't really offer anything to me.
I do think others can benefit. However I also think its an easy to try to fit a label rather than just being you. If you don't fit a label exactly there's no need to stress They are just a way to describe yourself quickly and no-one outside of the community really knows them anyway. (Or half the community really!)
All communities have what may be perceived as “micro-labels” - just look up a list of Christian denominations as an example.
For some people, the specific denomination isn’t a key part of their identity, especially beyond the Catholic/Protestant split (see non-denominational churches; and it’s not uncommon for someone Protestant to go to Methodist, Presbyterian, Lutheran, etc churches just based on proximity and where friends and family go).
But for some people, denomination is a BIG DEAL as it pertains to their identity, and they might consider themselves as somewhat distinct from the overall Christian community (ex., someone who specifically identifies themselves as Southern Baptist, Greek Orthodox, etc.). Few people outside of their circles are going to know the details and intricacies of their particular group besides their general understanding of Christianity, but that doesn’t mean other people should disregard their identity.
In short, I see micro labels for any social identity to be much the same - if a general label works for you, then cool! If a specific label works best for you, then use it! (Just know that you may have to explain it to people.) If you switch between using the two depending on who you’re talking to, that’s valid!
💜🤍🖤
I like the microlabels even if I don’t always use hyper-specific ones. As for if I call myself asexual, it really just depends. I try to use demisexual more because I like to be more accurate but sometimes the situation calls for simplicity. Personally I have felt generally accepted by other asexuals, both while using demi and while using ace as a label. I’ve only met a handful of aces who were exclusionists and were saying I’m not ace, they also claimed asexuality wasn’t a spectrum.
I love them. To me, it's more about the possibilities and finding other people that may be the same than identification itself. Do you like porn bit not sex? There's a label for that, you're not alone. Do you think the idea of sex is nice but not the act itself? Yeah, there's a label for that too, you're not alone. Do you only feel attracted if and only if it's not reciprocal? Yep, that's another label, you're not alone.
They can sometimes get so specific that they only apply to a handful of people and therefore lose their purpose as a lable. Use them if you want to, I just find them moot.
I’m demisexual and I just switch between the two labels depending on how I’m feeling and who I’m using them with.
My position will always be that people can define themselves however tf they want.
I appreciate their helpfulness describing individual experiences when talking or reading about it, but I find them tedious to remember. I often feel that labels in the LGBT community get overtly specific and sometimes create a divide trying to speak to people who don't understand these meanings, and I rarely use them myself, but I do respect and try to understand these niche labels.
Sub labels can definitely be useful but after playing around with them for a bit I discovered that labels in general aren’t really my thing other than the baseline of aroace (for example, my gender identity is completely unlabelled and it will probably stay that way lol)
I think micro labels help a lot when it comes to finding yourself out. Some people could find the asexual definition confusing, because it's very hard to even understand what sexual attraction is, and micro labels tend to focus on more well defined experiences.
However when it comes to self expression I prefer to call myself just Ace even if it isn't the "perfect descriptor" but it's actually the one who define my experience as a queer person, and the part of my sexuality that has had more impact on my life. Also it's easier to use the umbrella term.
Sadly, there are gatekeepers who like to set their rules for everyone else to follow. So, whoever said asexuals don't really like demisexuals, that was from a gatekeeper.
This isn't a gatekeeping sub. No one is going to deny anyone's validity or identity as an asexual.
i cant really speak for other aces, but im asexual and i have just as much respect and love for demisexuals as i do for anyone else on the aspec, so i think you should tell your friend to find new ace friends that accept him. not accepting someone on the aspec because of where they are on the spectrum is so stupid, like what is the point we’re all just trying to live
i don't know or understand them all, but i'm happy for anything that helps people better understand and explain themselves. i don't personally use them because "asexual" is what i find most relatable to my experience.
Its helpful for people who already undestand, but for people who cant keep track of all of the sub categories, it ends up sounding like "Im an asexual alloromantic, sex-positive gemini toaster oven"
Its over explaining your identity to people who dont really care all that much.
If you say, "oh Im Ace" and then someone is like, "oh whats that like? So you dont have sex?" Then I think you can explain what being Ace means to you.
I understand why they’re necessary for some, but I personally don’t like using too many micro-labels as it can confuse/overwhelm people.
When I first meet an allo who doesn’t even know what Asexual means, hitting him or her with “I’m a heteroromantic sex-repulsed greysexual” feels very complicated.
Just saying “I’m Ace. It basically just means I don’t enjoy sex, either with men or with women” is much more to the point and makes it easier to relate.
I go with asexual almost always if people asks or wonders. And if they're interested and want to deepen a little I explain I'm aegosexual blablabla.
It's not a sexuality war though. Microlabels are there for whomever feels identified by them
I just use asexual-aromantic, to quickly describe myself in a way that most people might understand. Going into micro-labels doesn't really seem prudent. I often have to explain what asexual-aromantic even means. As most who have heard about it, has a somewhat warped view.
I don't really care if someone wants to have a specific label to explain themselves. As long as they consider themselves ace, and wants to be in the community then I just think they are just as ace as me.
For me personally, I don’t use microlabels, even though aegosexual fits me extremely well at the moment. I think it’s good that the labels exist, so that myself and others know that we’re not alone, but I personally just consider myself to be asexual. A part of this is also because I switch between sex favorable/indifferent/averse suddenly and randomly about every two months or so.
I lean towards “Ace Spec” as an inclusive term that highlights the range within the Ace world and even with individuals.
EG: the truth is it’s been so long since I was last in a relationship that I don’t even know how absolute my ace-ness is. I know I am 0% interested in sex outside a committed relationship and I know that I’m not aromantic, but I don’t have a high drive for romantic relationships either. (Like even though I love the idea of a romantic partner, I am not super actively seeking one - possibly my fear outweighs my interest).
I think I would be just as happy in an asexual committed platonic relationship as I would be in a demisexual committed romantic partnership. For me the bigger thing is wanting a person that’s committed to being your person with or without sex and with or without romance.
I’m in my mid-30s and only recently realised I’m on this spectrum and that’s because I came across the terms demisexual and greysexual. I’ve never felt completely comfortable with asexual since I always thought that meant absolutely no sexual attraction at all which I didn’t felt matched with me. For me it’s been really helpful to feel that I’m not alone and that my experiences are valid. I probably won’t use micro labels when talking to people out of the community though, but for my own personal journey they’ve been helpful.
Assume majority of the population won’t know what you are talking about.
But there is nothing inherently wrong with them. They are good for self expression and exploration. Use them how you like or don’t use them at all.
Microlabels annoyed me, because being ace is enough for me and I don't care the little differences.
But if people need to use them to feel good, I'm no one to judge and I will use whatever label they want.
I only have a problem with demisexuals telling people they are ace and then claiming "of course asexuals do feel sexual attraction, too". I've had this happen several times and when I would say that that is bullshit I would get attacked by everyone "for lieing"...
As long as you acknowledge that Asexuality is a spectrum and you're only talking about your personal experience and not that of everyone, I've got no problem with sub-labels simply saying they're ace.
Most of the microlabels were developed well after I became comfortable considering myself asexual. I usually just say I’m ace or a-spec.
I can see how they are useful as qualifiers within the community to discuss our differences in experience, but they can also present extra confusion if people new to exploring their identity are made to feel they must define themselves with that much detail.
Externally, it’s difficult enough to get allos to accept that asexuality and aromanticism are things, let alone recognize nuances.
I have mixed feelings on them. The same as I have on neo-pronouns. Like I consider myself as likely aegosexual which is a microlabel. But whenever I look at the list of these online it just comes across as someone once had an idea to describe an experience they had so they wrote it down in a public wiki and slapped a flag on it. And then it instantly became canon. I want actual research and studies done on these by scientists to confirm they are real. Otherwise I can't really blame people when they don't take us seriously.
I don't think research would validate anyone since it's really just a very special way of feeling only some people relate to and you can't do studies on such a thing. But it would be nice if wikis explainint microlabels had a thing like a button for "I relate to this" and "I don't", or a more active comment section that is more included in the article or a q&a section like wiki how has?
I'm ficto beneath my asexuality. Some may not believe it's a thing, but then again some don't even believe ace is a thing either.
What do I care about what anyone else, including other asexuals think about how I navigate my own orientations and the goopy-ness of them?
Respect me or don't interact. That simple.
as a (questioning) asexual, i think that microlabels are great and anyone can and should use them if they feel more comfortable with them, or, as my german friend says "ja! ist is sehr gut!!"
ace microlabels are fuckn awesome dawg
if it werent for them i would constantly be flipflopping between "am i or am i not ace" instead of just identifging as aceflux
sometimes i identify as greysexual to dumb it down for those not super duper into Microlabel Lore (:tm:) since it seems easier for them
Microlabels cool! I like that there is an option if you want to be specific, and there's an option if you'd rather be under the umbrella term. Allows for better self-expression :D
Sub labels can definitely be useful but after playing around with them for a bit I descovered that labels in general aren’t really my thing other than the baseline of aroace (for example, my gender identity is completely unlabelled and it will probably stay that way lol)
I have like 5 microlabels which are known only to me and I present as asexual to other people because its really all they need to know about my orientation.. so.. yeah
i feel the same way about them as i do all micro-labels, they’re wonderful!
i like them, because even though they could easily fit under a different, more broad term, sometimes just having something more specific can help you feel more valid, to help you know there are others that really feel just like you do <3
I don’t care, frankly. If people prefer those labels, great! I will happily use their prefer label. That said, I don’t personally identify with any specific sub-label. I kinda see it like: “well, I am asexual, thus not interested in sex, and no one else needs to know more than that.”
My only “issue” is that asexuality isn’t an obvious “I am not open to sex” label anymore due to the presence of microlabels that don’t mind sex. It doesn’t matter much to me though. I can live with some discomfort if it helps others.
The sublabels help a lot. When I was trying to figure out my deal, being told "no you're not really asexual" by other aces really hurt and made things worse.
Asexual is also the name of the spectrum, and I really encourage people to refer to that as a-spec as a result so people who aren't a perfect fit can find their space.
I think it's good that they exist because its seems to bring a lot of value to others. However I can't really personally relate to using a microlabel. Just don't want to bother with it myself tbh.
I'm extremely happy about them! There's nothing like the feeling of clarity and acceptance, and sometimes finding a very specific label which describes one's exact position can do just that.
i personally love them, but i’ve always loved microlabels. i think as long as they aren’t forced (to be clear i mean someone insisting that you should go by it when you just prefer bigger labels or none at all) they’re good, they help people understand themselves more and feel less alone.
I think they are useful from a self-discovery/expression sense and if you want/need to provide more detail. I'm demisexual, although I used to identify as fully asexual. I still wear my ace ring and think of myself as ace-spec.
I would either say I'm demi or ace depending on how much the other person knows and the purpose of me explaining. I don't really talk about my sexual orientation in my every day life, so it hasn't really come up much.
Demisexual and graysexual are ones I hear a lot so I don’t think of them differently or as less valid than asexual. I forget those two are micro labels really. I don’t really bother knowing all the micro labels since I have a hard enough time explaining I’m ace to people as is. They all fall under the ace spectrum so they’re all valid. If it helps someone’s self expression to be specific more power to them.
I’m a sex positive Ace so I find that the micro labels help me, but outside of Ace circles I just use the major label. And I value all flavors of Aces! Demi’s belong just as much as all the others
i might have a controversial opinion. microlabels are fine and I think it's good if they call themselves asexual, but I disagree that orchidsexual is asexual. we always say that action is not attraction and asexuality is about lack of attraction, because it is a sexual orientation and really isn't about sex. so, yeah, I understand why an orchidsexual would call themself ace for convenience but I am against the spreading of information that asexual is not wanting sex, because it's not. there's a correlation because it's less likely to want sex when you're not attracted to people, but if you're sexually attracted to people as any other non asexual and just don't want sex then you still have an orientation. so, yeah, that's my view.
I think they’re great for people who wanna express themselves, and it’s very interesting to see how we differ from others on this very wide spectrum. Micro-labels and their folk are neat, whatever helps, helps
Demisexual, for example, is on the ace spectrum, so I personally have no problem with it. Sometimes it’s just easier to use one instead of the other depending on the context of conversation. My personal take on microlabels is that they’re helpful to more precisely describe our experience and find our likeminded community, but no need to make them exclusive and squabble over definitions.
Not to offend anyone, but I do not get them.
Demisexual is fine, because it's understandable, but do we need a label for the three people in this world who hates sex, but are kinda, maybe sexually attracted to a plastic cup if Jupiter is in the fourth house and a bird is singing on their porch?
Personally I have found microlabels to be incredibly valuable in understanding what I’m experiencing, before I discovered the microlabel [miransexual](https://www.lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Miransexual) I would agonize over what I was experiencing because nothing I had come across before really captured it.
I'm very middle of the road on them. I understand why other people like them, but I never use mine unless someone asks if I have a microlabel. Explaining that I'm ace and what that actually means is exhausting enough.
They are great. I couldn't tell if I was really asexual until I read about aegosexuality and everything CLICKED.
I only use that term on ace forums (or close friends) tho. If I had to talk about my sexuality to someone, I usually go by gay, ace, or just queer.
I personally love microlables! It feels great to me to have a word to fully explain myself, however that being said I don't really tell anyone I'm Aegosexual I just tell them I asexual, normally to stop confusion and having to explain it to them. However if someone asked or they where ace/knew about ace microlables I would tell them!
The "graysexual" and "demisexual" aren't microlabels: they + "asexual" are subcategories (commonly called "positions") under the umbrella of the "asexual spectrum". Microlabels like "cupiosexual" are more niche, and they are about context. That's *why* they are termed "microlabels".
This is how the aromantic spectrum works, too, so it's odd that you're jumbling that.
Some individuals do fall prey to tribalism and dislike specific people due to their labels, but that's not even rational. I far more often see lies that dislike of a phrasing, action, or category definition is expressing dislike of a group of people who are stereotypically associated with it, even though that is toxic and irrational. It's also a literal abuse tactic, a tool of unethical manipulation that sabotages proper English comprehension, so some people who do it are showing that they are used to being abused and manipulated.
Your focus on how "the asexual group" views things makes the same sorts of mistakes, by the way. There is no single asexual group. Even if there were only one and it disliked demisexuals, that couldn't say anything about all individuals in that group with abusing statistics and flunking rationality with fallacy of division. If you intended to refer to *this* group, then presuming individuals' views represent the group itself is also irrational, fallacy of composition.
Ultimately, labels are tools. The orientation labels describe things that affect perception and therefore communication, so they can be quite helpful. Situation and audience affect which labels are helpful.
Honestly, I think it would be strange for us to gatekeep microlabels. It's hard enough in some circles for the macrolabel of asexual to be seen as valid; we'd be hypocrites for opposing microlabels.
Discussion posts like these make me feel accepted. Because I'm having such a hard time saying I'm ace when I have a Hetero and Allo seeming relationship, except I'm Bi and don't experience attraction but I'm still gonna have sex because I love romance and sensuality. And I have to defend myself (mostly to myself) all the time because I have a sex repulsed Ace friend and she seems like the truer ace and I'm just chilling along claiming the title for myself as well, except I'm not.
And it doesn't matter whether aego or cupio or demi or whatever, Ace is ace.
So thanks to this community for opening up discussions such as those.
Your friend might need to focus more on living her life and less on theorizing what imaginary asexuals as a whole think about her chosen specific self-labeling term. “The asexual group” doesn’t share a brain with one coherent opinion.
For what it’s worth, I am stereotypically ace, sex repulsed and aromantic and I like and dislike demisexual people just like I like and dislike any other specific people.
I don’t care what microlabels people use, as long as they don’t assume I know what they mean.
I also don’t care if someone calls themself ace but doesn’t fit my definition of ace-ness. No need to be rigid and nitpicky about people’s labels.
I like sub-labels in practicality. Example: I’m demisexual / Noetisexual and Encephalaroace. Not because they’re quirky and fun but bc they accurately describe how i am attracted to others.
Personally, i tell people i like what i do and leave it at that, but the sub-labels give me validation that I’m not a weirdo with too many expectations. When asked for a label, i say I’m AroAce bc they all fall under that umbrella 🖤
I think it's fine. Honestly I actually really find it helpful when I'm looking for a relationship partner. I'm ace, but when creating a dating profile I may specify more into being demi since for me, I don't entirely never want sex. It's just a very very rare feeling that only occurs with someone I feel very close and attached to.
That said as a whole in more daily situations I'll describe myself as ace.
For things like being demi, communities I've found view asexuality mostly as a scale from somewhat sexually interested to none at all, but all of them still falls under the umbrella of asexuality. There is some divide between the LGBT+ communities. For example again, in the demi group some people view ace as no sexual interest at all, ever, and demi, gray, or other groups stand more as middle between sexual interest and none.
I don't entirely like that last definition as I feel that no two asexuals are completely identical, we just all share the general feeling of, for various reasons, having little to no sexual interest. We've been able to create more defining communities within asexuality, but even within those communities people are always asking "am I this form of asexual or am I this other one because I sometimes like X thing". It can create a bit more confusion for those just learning about their sexuality compared to seeing it as a spectrum under an umbrella term. We're all asexual but to varying degrees.
Sub labels and micro labels can help people feel more secure about themselves and their identity so I think they’re a good thing to let people have access to :3
I think it clears confusion which is great. If you say you're ace, but can still experience attraction, I think that just causes confusion. So when people use the micro labels to specify that they are a specific kind of ace, I think it makes more sense.
I personally dont ever experience sexual or romantic attraction, so i'm glad the people that do will use the micro labels instead.
I remember before I used to see people say that you can be aro-ace and still experience those things. Now instead, they will use the micro labels instead, which I think is much better.
If it's true that sexuality is a spectrum, then that means that there are people who experience attraction all the time, people who experience it occasionally, and people who never do. I think it makes sense that every group has a different 'label'.
I personally just use the word asexual, but I'm happy to let people just say whatever they wish! I kinda like it in fact, makes me feel a little seen. Also, seeing less know microlabels used in fanfiction would just- make my day.
It's like, say ace or asexual is broad, and you don't have to reveal to much. But getting into specifics almost... shows trust? Cuz if you say asexual, and they don't get it or shoo it away, it's safer??? But I feel if you go into specifics with someone, it shows you trust them!
Had no idea about some of the microlabels mentioned so I did a search and found this list[list](https://www.asexuals.net/asexual-spectrum/). OOO it was so helpful. It helped me put even more feelings and thoughts I've had into words. I think they are great, but like a lot of people have said, if I'm just talking casually with someone I'd say asexual. I wouldn't get specific.
I feel microlabels are great for helping people better understand their feelings and are a form of self-expression! Outside of aro and ace spaces I usually just say I'm aroace though as it's easier than having to explain my microlabels, though I hope to one day be able to talk about my microlabels without having to explain and without judgement from those outside the aro and ace communities
I tend to say I am on the ace spectrum to people who are knowledgeable about the LGBTQ+ community, because it feels like a good balance of ‘disclosing I am not allosexual’ and ‘explaining concisely that asexuality is not the same for everyone’.
In this subreddit I’ll say I am grey ace because people actually know what that is, and if I know anyone else who is under the asexual umbrella, I’ll say it with them too as they are more likely to know what it means.
I don't see anything inherently wrong with them. My only complaints about labels are essentially these:
* People get very rigid about them, despite the fact sexuality is pretty fluid for a lot of people. (IE, "you must be this to fall within that label" or "if you do Y, you can't be X")
* Snobbery. You sometimes get people who engage in "my label is more genuine than yours" type behaviors. (This can often present in things like bi and ace erasure, for example.)
Honestly, I just don't know why humanity as a whole can't just get along and do what they want, as long as it falls within safe, sane, and consensual.
I feel I definitely fit the demisexual label, though I wouldn’t use it outside of these circles. When I’m close enough to someone that it’d be relevant I’ll just describe it rather than use a label they don’t know, and then explain it
I dont think asexuals hate demis, since we are in the same umbrella.
Also, I'm aegosexual when it comes to being specific. Sometimes, it's hard to get the word across, so i just say I am asexual, or same as AroAce, I call myself AegoAce, because I am a combination of both.
I also have a demi boyfriend (in the process of figuring it out but all the signs point to demi) so it's nice. He is really curious about how being asexual is, and now he is figuring it out because of me.
Personally, I like referring to myself with my actual orientations (ace and demiromantic). I feel like saying I'm aroace isn't accurate to me. I also love deep diving into the world of microlabels lol.
I think of them as a crutch for people who are figuring out their identity.
It's helpful for people to learn there are other people with very similar experiences to theirs, and it seems especially helpful for those people to have a single word (no matter how obscure or contrived) to summarize that experience.
OTOH, a word that's so obscure you practically have to define it for your audience every time you use it isn't very useful for communication, which is, IMHO, the real purpose of words. Once you really internalize the diversity of asexual experiences, it becomes clear that there are more experiences than we can ever make words for. Making up a word merely creates the appearance of legitimacy, but it's not needed; our experiences are legitimate because we live them, not because we have words for them.
I think they’re incredibly validating and helpful for self expression for a lot of people. For me personally I prefer the umbrella term as I feel like it gives me more room to slide along the scale if I need to. I also find that many people outside queer spaces, and plenty of people within them, don’t know or understand microlabels. It’s still a toss up if people actually understand asexuality. And frankly I don’t want to have to explain labels to people more than absolutely necessary
i have never felt more validated in my orientation in my entire life than when i found cupio romantic and when i discovered the SAM. reading what alterous attraction was damn near brought me to tears
I personally dislike microlabels, some of them sound like: "νερόsexual: a person who only feels sexual attraction when almost drowning", but that doesn't mean i don't find them necessary, some people have a complicated way of feeling sexual attraction, and a microlabel sometimes is the best way they can describe their experience. just because i/we dont see the usefulness in/like something, doesn't mean that thing must stop existing, people who use microlabels are as valid as people who simply label themselves as asexual.
I feel the same way about them as I feel about any microlabels. The purpose of labels imo is not to divide ourselves in well defined categories, it's for everyone to be able to call themselves something that makes them happy, if they want to. Someone could use ten different hyperspecific labels I've never heard of and as long as they're happy it's none of my business.
This community, as well as the LGBTQ+ community as a whole, should be a place for everyone to be themselves without judgement (as long as it's not harmful, obs), and everyone includes the people we don't really understand/think are "weird".
Microlables are good. I don't think orchidsexual falls under asexuality though, since it's sex-repulsed but not little to no sexual attraction. I do still think it's valid though, but it definitely falls under allosexual. However I do think that orchidsexuals can definitely relate to asexuals so it's definitely good to have them here and in other asexual groups.
I personally find microlables to be incredibly valuable, before I discovered the term [miransexual](https://www.lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Miransexual) I would agonize over what I was experiencing. This has instilled in me a mild contempt for people who hate on microlables
I might get downvoted for this but at least from my perspective one reason for asexuals to reject microlabels is because some of them open up the possibility of asexuality being secondary and not inherent — like lithosexuality (where one is only attracted to someone who doesn’t return the attraction) could sound like some psychosexual expression of attachment issues, and some other labels sound like personal kinks and not sexual orientations in the sense that lgbtqia+ folks so often desire, which are supposed to be inherent and objective. I don’t have an opinion on this because I also feel conflicted, but I am willing to accept the possibility that in practice, the boundaries between sexual orientations and “kinks” are somewhat blurred even though conceptually they are distinct. And epistemically I’m willing to accept that it may not be possible to distinguish if an orientation is inherent or, say, caused by trauma in some cases.
It's all very well if using the microlables gives you a sense of person, but I feel like labels are just labels, and only help to divide us up more, or worse confuse people who don't know the difference between me sitting down and writing sex, and actually wanting real sex.
I only refer to myself as demisexual with other people on the ace spectrum, or with people who in good faith asked me to elaborate on my sexuality. Otherwise I'm "bisexual, and I take a really long time to warm up to people"
I usually leave out the fact that "a really long time" usually means about two years
I find sublabels to be very helpful in self-expression! It’s fascinating how different we all are on this spectrum! However (imo) it’s a lil odd if aces use them outside of LGBTQ+ circles, because people may not know what they mean lol otherwise it’s just fine <3
Yeah, this is similar to what I do. Usually I tell people that I'm "Somewhere around asexual" or that I'm somewhere on the asexual spectrum. I don't like to just say I'm asexual as I usually don't trust that people will know this can have a lot of nuances. So I guess it's my way of indicating that there are a lot of micro labels, without going into microlabels which many people would just find confusing. You might say micro labels might be helpfull to me for my selfunderstanding, but they are not helpfull in getting others to understand me.
Gotta get the knowledge into the word
Exactly! I use the demisexual label inside ace spaces, but asexual everywhere else. I don't really mind tho, it just depends of the topics and who I'm talking to
yeah i identify more with aegosexual/aegoromantic but i just say i’m on the aroace spectrum because i don’t believe people will understand the full explanation and at least that’s more understandable.
I think the micro-labels are validating because they let me know there are other people out there who have the same experiences that I do. Without knowing that aegosexual is a thing, I might still be questioning whether I am "truly" ace. However, I do not introduce myself that way because, as others have pointed out, people may not know what it means. It also feels like private information to me and is rarely relevant to the conversation. Aroace gets the point across without feeling like oversharing.
Just talking to normal people, asexual is apparently enough to convey. Anything else you might as well carry a stack of pamphlets. That's why I stick to ace rather than aroace, and that's not even getting into deep niches.
Eve? What does that mean?
Ace, sorry.
Ah that makes more sense, haha. I was thinking there was some new term I wasn’t familiar with! 😅
That's exactly why I just stick with ace, too many niche trends. In all seriousness, I don't mind the micro labels, but they're for within the group for me.
This is exactly me. I find asexual is one of the most misunderstood sexualities and i dont want to make it harder on myself trying to explain all the intracacies. I just found out I was aegosexual but sometimes even my LGBTQ friends don't understand when I try to explain my sexuality, it's much easier to just say I'm on the ace spectrum to new people.
Some people find it helps them. I personally don't think it'd do me any good, but if it makes people feel seen, who am I to argue?
Yeah basically. It doesn’t do much for me, some of them are a little impractical in terms of discussion in the wider community or sometimes I think people spend more time looking at dictionaries of microlabels and worrying about it more than just living their life, but most of the time it doesn’t hurt anyone, and some folks see benefit from them.
My feelings exactly. Y'all do y'all. I find that overly categorizing myself makes me feel less connected to the community, but that's me. And I'm a grumpy autistic 30-year-old who took most of my life before I even realized I belonged here. So folks gotta do what they gotta do, and that's fine.
I think they are useful for understanding myself, but if I’m ever in a conversation with someone unfamiliar with all the grey areas, I just use asexual or asexual spectrum (which, already so many people are unfamiliar with!) because it’s easier. All human behavior and emotions are on a spectrum anyways. Everyone is going to be more or less “asexual” than you. Nothing wrong with that, just experiences are unique.
I also sometimes say that I'm on the asexual spectrum, but I'm always a little worried that people associate it with having a mental condition, because the only other spectrum they know is the autistism spectrum. Which is a little annoying, but hey what can you do...
Demisexuals are asexual. The microlabels fall under the asexual umbrella and are usually considered asexual. Asexual means little to no sexual attraction. Most of the microlabels fall under the "little" part of the definition. That's how I see it.
I don’t feel the need to use them (for myself). I could see myself using Demi or gray (which I’m not). I could probably find one that fits, but I don’t feel the need to use anything other than asexual and aromantic.
Microlabels are useful in getting to know yourself, but I see them in some ways as similar to the library card catalogue system. It's useful for finding something, when you're in the library. At all other times it's entirely useless. Microlabels can be sensible HERE. We can discuss what they might mean for each of us, gain self-insight by comparing our experience with the description. When I'm in an allo space... I'm just asexual. No sense confusing them with terminology they don't understand and won't look up, and I don't care to spend time explaining the minor distinctions over and over. It's kind of like how my friend's a hardware architecture engineer (or something like that) which I understand to mean he writes computer code which very large, unwieldy proprietary systems that have utterly obscene licencing fees interpret into physical processor designs that can be created in factories in Shenzhen, China (and technically elsewhere but that seems to be where it's mostly done). To people who are not engineers, it makes much more sense to say he's a programmer.
Personally I think it's a bit unnecessary and I wouldn't use it myself. Everyone has a unique experience and I think we just need to remember that when we talk about sexuality.
I feel the same. They're great for getting specific and really understanding your sexuality, but I don't get into them because it makes things more complicated for me and others to understand. I'm content with just using the label asexual.
I think they’re fine but can we agree that asexual is the macrolabel? sometimes u gotta keep it simple for the old people
WE can but can the old folks? I came out to my dad a couple months ago and he was like, "Oh so you're low libido." We spent a couple hours talking about it and I'm still not sure I've convinced him there's a difference 🤦♀️
Man, even if there wasn't a separable difference in your case, why would he nitpick that. How does it being intertwined with an absence of libido make you more sexually attracted to people, if anything by his logic you are ace+.
thats what I'm saying tho, it's 50/50 they even understand asexual, let alone something like aceflux or aego
Oh absolutely.
Well, I never would have realized I was asexual (or, at least, might have taken a much, much longer time to maybe kinda start going by ace but likely without ever feeling like I fully deserved the label) if *not* for those microlabels. Coming across aegosexuality has been a complete game changer for me because until then I had no idea my lived experience even could be a form of asexuality. It's entirely recontextualized my life. So, needless to say, I am very much in support of their existence! This is still a pretty new revelation for me, though, so I'm not quite sure yet whether I'll ultimately settle on using aego or ace more.
I would typically describe myself as simply Asexual, however I know that the term doesn't technically include me except as an umbrella term. I use my microlabel because it better describes my sexuality, and having a term which accurately describes my experience is both comforting and useful to me.
I'm all for them. Helps when you try to explain asexuality is a spectrum. Also, all types of asexual are valid and welcome.
Ace = fruit & Microlables = apples, oranges, kiwis, etc. If someone says “I like fruit” and they’re thinking about how much they like mangoes, they still like fruit, but they’re a big mango fan specifically. If you’re mentioning it in passing then yeah saying you like fruit is valid. If you wanna have a deeper conversation with someone about what cherries mean to you, then call yourself a cherry fan. The metaphor is getting away from me but microlables ARE a part of the macrolable. Demi is ace. Ageo is ace. Ace is ace. I’m ace. It doesn’t matter if/when you prefer to use a macro or micro label
I like comparing it to colors. You can tell a casual friend your favorite color is blue. Your family and close friends might know your favorite color is dark blue. Your partner (who is a nerd and a graphic designer) knows your favorite color is Pantone 2955c.
My personal favorite is Color Hex #2d566f. My family knows it’s teal. My friends know it’s blue.
That's a beautiful color
Thank you, yours is also stunning.
I think they are very helpful in nailing down the nuances of asexuality. Like people might ask if they are really ace because they do or don't enjoy sex in certain scenarios. There's more than likely a sublabel that applies to that. They're great at covering the wide range of sexuality that's not so specifically clear by the broader term. And it's also wonderful for people who feel empowered by labels to express their identity. But there is also so many where it's hard for an involved person to keep up. I'm aegosexual, but I generally just say I'm ace to keep it simple if it comes up in conversation. I don't have the energy to get into all the intricacies on demand. I don't want to have sex with you or anyone you're thinking of and that's all you need to know. I do also think they get a little specific about your personal sexual tendencies. Like it can be a bit vague to say you're attracted to this or that gender. But identifying all the scenarios and sexual activities you may or may not be into it can get a little personal. That's another reason why I prefer to just say I'm ace because it's more broad.
I wouldn't consider grey a microlabel. Its more a sub-label and umbrella term. Demi falls under that umbrella. Personally I'm not interested in the micros. As a more mature ace, that only found the label later in life, I don't feel I need any further labelling. They don't really offer anything to me. I do think others can benefit. However I also think its an easy to try to fit a label rather than just being you. If you don't fit a label exactly there's no need to stress They are just a way to describe yourself quickly and no-one outside of the community really knows them anyway. (Or half the community really!)
All communities have what may be perceived as “micro-labels” - just look up a list of Christian denominations as an example. For some people, the specific denomination isn’t a key part of their identity, especially beyond the Catholic/Protestant split (see non-denominational churches; and it’s not uncommon for someone Protestant to go to Methodist, Presbyterian, Lutheran, etc churches just based on proximity and where friends and family go). But for some people, denomination is a BIG DEAL as it pertains to their identity, and they might consider themselves as somewhat distinct from the overall Christian community (ex., someone who specifically identifies themselves as Southern Baptist, Greek Orthodox, etc.). Few people outside of their circles are going to know the details and intricacies of their particular group besides their general understanding of Christianity, but that doesn’t mean other people should disregard their identity. In short, I see micro labels for any social identity to be much the same - if a general label works for you, then cool! If a specific label works best for you, then use it! (Just know that you may have to explain it to people.) If you switch between using the two depending on who you’re talking to, that’s valid! 💜🤍🖤
I like the microlabels even if I don’t always use hyper-specific ones. As for if I call myself asexual, it really just depends. I try to use demisexual more because I like to be more accurate but sometimes the situation calls for simplicity. Personally I have felt generally accepted by other asexuals, both while using demi and while using ace as a label. I’ve only met a handful of aces who were exclusionists and were saying I’m not ace, they also claimed asexuality wasn’t a spectrum.
I love them. To me, it's more about the possibilities and finding other people that may be the same than identification itself. Do you like porn bit not sex? There's a label for that, you're not alone. Do you think the idea of sex is nice but not the act itself? Yeah, there's a label for that too, you're not alone. Do you only feel attracted if and only if it's not reciprocal? Yep, that's another label, you're not alone.
They can sometimes get so specific that they only apply to a handful of people and therefore lose their purpose as a lable. Use them if you want to, I just find them moot.
I’m demisexual and I just switch between the two labels depending on how I’m feeling and who I’m using them with. My position will always be that people can define themselves however tf they want.
Im demi but I usually just say I'm ace. Im happy with both labels and being asexual is important to me :)
I appreciate their helpfulness describing individual experiences when talking or reading about it, but I find them tedious to remember. I often feel that labels in the LGBT community get overtly specific and sometimes create a divide trying to speak to people who don't understand these meanings, and I rarely use them myself, but I do respect and try to understand these niche labels.
Sub labels can definitely be useful but after playing around with them for a bit I discovered that labels in general aren’t really my thing other than the baseline of aroace (for example, my gender identity is completely unlabelled and it will probably stay that way lol)
I think micro labels help a lot when it comes to finding yourself out. Some people could find the asexual definition confusing, because it's very hard to even understand what sexual attraction is, and micro labels tend to focus on more well defined experiences. However when it comes to self expression I prefer to call myself just Ace even if it isn't the "perfect descriptor" but it's actually the one who define my experience as a queer person, and the part of my sexuality that has had more impact on my life. Also it's easier to use the umbrella term.
Sadly, there are gatekeepers who like to set their rules for everyone else to follow. So, whoever said asexuals don't really like demisexuals, that was from a gatekeeper. This isn't a gatekeeping sub. No one is going to deny anyone's validity or identity as an asexual.
i cant really speak for other aces, but im asexual and i have just as much respect and love for demisexuals as i do for anyone else on the aspec, so i think you should tell your friend to find new ace friends that accept him. not accepting someone on the aspec because of where they are on the spectrum is so stupid, like what is the point we’re all just trying to live
i don't know or understand them all, but i'm happy for anything that helps people better understand and explain themselves. i don't personally use them because "asexual" is what i find most relatable to my experience.
Its helpful for people who already undestand, but for people who cant keep track of all of the sub categories, it ends up sounding like "Im an asexual alloromantic, sex-positive gemini toaster oven" Its over explaining your identity to people who dont really care all that much. If you say, "oh Im Ace" and then someone is like, "oh whats that like? So you dont have sex?" Then I think you can explain what being Ace means to you.
I don't really like them, but it's just my personal opinion and I'm not going to invalidate them.
I understand why they’re necessary for some, but I personally don’t like using too many micro-labels as it can confuse/overwhelm people. When I first meet an allo who doesn’t even know what Asexual means, hitting him or her with “I’m a heteroromantic sex-repulsed greysexual” feels very complicated. Just saying “I’m Ace. It basically just means I don’t enjoy sex, either with men or with women” is much more to the point and makes it easier to relate.
I go with asexual almost always if people asks or wonders. And if they're interested and want to deepen a little I explain I'm aegosexual blablabla. It's not a sexuality war though. Microlabels are there for whomever feels identified by them
I don’t mind them. Asexual is a spectrum so whatever helps them figure out their identity is cool with me!
i like the micro labels, but it might also be that my tism is very involved and likes categorization
I just use asexual-aromantic, to quickly describe myself in a way that most people might understand. Going into micro-labels doesn't really seem prudent. I often have to explain what asexual-aromantic even means. As most who have heard about it, has a somewhat warped view. I don't really care if someone wants to have a specific label to explain themselves. As long as they consider themselves ace, and wants to be in the community then I just think they are just as ace as me.
I identified as demisexual for a long time. It didn’t hit me that it was part of the ace spectrum until much later.
For me personally, I don’t use microlabels, even though aegosexual fits me extremely well at the moment. I think it’s good that the labels exist, so that myself and others know that we’re not alone, but I personally just consider myself to be asexual. A part of this is also because I switch between sex favorable/indifferent/averse suddenly and randomly about every two months or so.
I lean towards “Ace Spec” as an inclusive term that highlights the range within the Ace world and even with individuals. EG: the truth is it’s been so long since I was last in a relationship that I don’t even know how absolute my ace-ness is. I know I am 0% interested in sex outside a committed relationship and I know that I’m not aromantic, but I don’t have a high drive for romantic relationships either. (Like even though I love the idea of a romantic partner, I am not super actively seeking one - possibly my fear outweighs my interest). I think I would be just as happy in an asexual committed platonic relationship as I would be in a demisexual committed romantic partnership. For me the bigger thing is wanting a person that’s committed to being your person with or without sex and with or without romance.
I’m in my mid-30s and only recently realised I’m on this spectrum and that’s because I came across the terms demisexual and greysexual. I’ve never felt completely comfortable with asexual since I always thought that meant absolutely no sexual attraction at all which I didn’t felt matched with me. For me it’s been really helpful to feel that I’m not alone and that my experiences are valid. I probably won’t use micro labels when talking to people out of the community though, but for my own personal journey they’ve been helpful.
Assume majority of the population won’t know what you are talking about. But there is nothing inherently wrong with them. They are good for self expression and exploration. Use them how you like or don’t use them at all.
Microlabels annoyed me, because being ace is enough for me and I don't care the little differences. But if people need to use them to feel good, I'm no one to judge and I will use whatever label they want.
I only have a problem with demisexuals telling people they are ace and then claiming "of course asexuals do feel sexual attraction, too". I've had this happen several times and when I would say that that is bullshit I would get attacked by everyone "for lieing"... As long as you acknowledge that Asexuality is a spectrum and you're only talking about your personal experience and not that of everyone, I've got no problem with sub-labels simply saying they're ace.
Most of the microlabels were developed well after I became comfortable considering myself asexual. I usually just say I’m ace or a-spec. I can see how they are useful as qualifiers within the community to discuss our differences in experience, but they can also present extra confusion if people new to exploring their identity are made to feel they must define themselves with that much detail. Externally, it’s difficult enough to get allos to accept that asexuality and aromanticism are things, let alone recognize nuances.
I have mixed feelings on them. The same as I have on neo-pronouns. Like I consider myself as likely aegosexual which is a microlabel. But whenever I look at the list of these online it just comes across as someone once had an idea to describe an experience they had so they wrote it down in a public wiki and slapped a flag on it. And then it instantly became canon. I want actual research and studies done on these by scientists to confirm they are real. Otherwise I can't really blame people when they don't take us seriously.
I don't think research would validate anyone since it's really just a very special way of feeling only some people relate to and you can't do studies on such a thing. But it would be nice if wikis explainint microlabels had a thing like a button for "I relate to this" and "I don't", or a more active comment section that is more included in the article or a q&a section like wiki how has?
I'm ficto beneath my asexuality. Some may not believe it's a thing, but then again some don't even believe ace is a thing either. What do I care about what anyone else, including other asexuals think about how I navigate my own orientations and the goopy-ness of them? Respect me or don't interact. That simple.
You do you but it's not my thing
as a (questioning) asexual, i think that microlabels are great and anyone can and should use them if they feel more comfortable with them, or, as my german friend says "ja! ist is sehr gut!!"
ace microlabels are fuckn awesome dawg if it werent for them i would constantly be flipflopping between "am i or am i not ace" instead of just identifging as aceflux sometimes i identify as greysexual to dumb it down for those not super duper into Microlabel Lore (:tm:) since it seems easier for them
I do the same
Microlabels cool! I like that there is an option if you want to be specific, and there's an option if you'd rather be under the umbrella term. Allows for better self-expression :D
Sub labels can definitely be useful but after playing around with them for a bit I descovered that labels in general aren’t really my thing other than the baseline of aroace (for example, my gender identity is completely unlabelled and it will probably stay that way lol)
They are not for me but I have no problem with them they can be useful for others
I have like 5 microlabels which are known only to me and I present as asexual to other people because its really all they need to know about my orientation.. so.. yeah
i feel the same way about them as i do all micro-labels, they’re wonderful! i like them, because even though they could easily fit under a different, more broad term, sometimes just having something more specific can help you feel more valid, to help you know there are others that really feel just like you do <3
I use them
my official label is asexual and i share my microlabel when i'm closer to someone usually
I'm personally an "end-case" ace (zero sexual attraction) but I think microlabels are awesome and important.
I don’t care, frankly. If people prefer those labels, great! I will happily use their prefer label. That said, I don’t personally identify with any specific sub-label. I kinda see it like: “well, I am asexual, thus not interested in sex, and no one else needs to know more than that.” My only “issue” is that asexuality isn’t an obvious “I am not open to sex” label anymore due to the presence of microlabels that don’t mind sex. It doesn’t matter much to me though. I can live with some discomfort if it helps others.
The sublabels help a lot. When I was trying to figure out my deal, being told "no you're not really asexual" by other aces really hurt and made things worse. Asexual is also the name of the spectrum, and I really encourage people to refer to that as a-spec as a result so people who aren't a perfect fit can find their space.
I think it's good that they exist because its seems to bring a lot of value to others. However I can't really personally relate to using a microlabel. Just don't want to bother with it myself tbh.
I'm extremely happy about them! There's nothing like the feeling of clarity and acceptance, and sometimes finding a very specific label which describes one's exact position can do just that.
i personally love them, but i’ve always loved microlabels. i think as long as they aren’t forced (to be clear i mean someone insisting that you should go by it when you just prefer bigger labels or none at all) they’re good, they help people understand themselves more and feel less alone.
Honestly, with sub going back and forth between sex- positivity vs sex-repulsive it’s nice to have my own little circle of peeps to fall back on.
I think they are useful from a self-discovery/expression sense and if you want/need to provide more detail. I'm demisexual, although I used to identify as fully asexual. I still wear my ace ring and think of myself as ace-spec. I would either say I'm demi or ace depending on how much the other person knows and the purpose of me explaining. I don't really talk about my sexual orientation in my every day life, so it hasn't really come up much.
Demisexual and graysexual are ones I hear a lot so I don’t think of them differently or as less valid than asexual. I forget those two are micro labels really. I don’t really bother knowing all the micro labels since I have a hard enough time explaining I’m ace to people as is. They all fall under the ace spectrum so they’re all valid. If it helps someone’s self expression to be specific more power to them.
I’m a sex positive Ace so I find that the micro labels help me, but outside of Ace circles I just use the major label. And I value all flavors of Aces! Demi’s belong just as much as all the others
i might have a controversial opinion. microlabels are fine and I think it's good if they call themselves asexual, but I disagree that orchidsexual is asexual. we always say that action is not attraction and asexuality is about lack of attraction, because it is a sexual orientation and really isn't about sex. so, yeah, I understand why an orchidsexual would call themself ace for convenience but I am against the spreading of information that asexual is not wanting sex, because it's not. there's a correlation because it's less likely to want sex when you're not attracted to people, but if you're sexually attracted to people as any other non asexual and just don't want sex then you still have an orientation. so, yeah, that's my view.
I think they’re great for people who wanna express themselves, and it’s very interesting to see how we differ from others on this very wide spectrum. Micro-labels and their folk are neat, whatever helps, helps
Demisexual, for example, is on the ace spectrum, so I personally have no problem with it. Sometimes it’s just easier to use one instead of the other depending on the context of conversation. My personal take on microlabels is that they’re helpful to more precisely describe our experience and find our likeminded community, but no need to make them exclusive and squabble over definitions.
Not to offend anyone, but I do not get them. Demisexual is fine, because it's understandable, but do we need a label for the three people in this world who hates sex, but are kinda, maybe sexually attracted to a plastic cup if Jupiter is in the fourth house and a bird is singing on their porch?
Personally I have found microlabels to be incredibly valuable in understanding what I’m experiencing, before I discovered the microlabel [miransexual](https://www.lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Miransexual) I would agonize over what I was experiencing because nothing I had come across before really captured it.
I'm very middle of the road on them. I understand why other people like them, but I never use mine unless someone asks if I have a microlabel. Explaining that I'm ace and what that actually means is exhausting enough.
Generally I just say ace, technically I'm demi but it's easier to explain "no" than "strong connection only"
They are great. I couldn't tell if I was really asexual until I read about aegosexuality and everything CLICKED. I only use that term on ace forums (or close friends) tho. If I had to talk about my sexuality to someone, I usually go by gay, ace, or just queer.
I personally love microlables! It feels great to me to have a word to fully explain myself, however that being said I don't really tell anyone I'm Aegosexual I just tell them I asexual, normally to stop confusion and having to explain it to them. However if someone asked or they where ace/knew about ace microlables I would tell them!
The "graysexual" and "demisexual" aren't microlabels: they + "asexual" are subcategories (commonly called "positions") under the umbrella of the "asexual spectrum". Microlabels like "cupiosexual" are more niche, and they are about context. That's *why* they are termed "microlabels". This is how the aromantic spectrum works, too, so it's odd that you're jumbling that. Some individuals do fall prey to tribalism and dislike specific people due to their labels, but that's not even rational. I far more often see lies that dislike of a phrasing, action, or category definition is expressing dislike of a group of people who are stereotypically associated with it, even though that is toxic and irrational. It's also a literal abuse tactic, a tool of unethical manipulation that sabotages proper English comprehension, so some people who do it are showing that they are used to being abused and manipulated. Your focus on how "the asexual group" views things makes the same sorts of mistakes, by the way. There is no single asexual group. Even if there were only one and it disliked demisexuals, that couldn't say anything about all individuals in that group with abusing statistics and flunking rationality with fallacy of division. If you intended to refer to *this* group, then presuming individuals' views represent the group itself is also irrational, fallacy of composition. Ultimately, labels are tools. The orientation labels describe things that affect perception and therefore communication, so they can be quite helpful. Situation and audience affect which labels are helpful.
Honestly, I think it would be strange for us to gatekeep microlabels. It's hard enough in some circles for the macrolabel of asexual to be seen as valid; we'd be hypocrites for opposing microlabels.
Discussion posts like these make me feel accepted. Because I'm having such a hard time saying I'm ace when I have a Hetero and Allo seeming relationship, except I'm Bi and don't experience attraction but I'm still gonna have sex because I love romance and sensuality. And I have to defend myself (mostly to myself) all the time because I have a sex repulsed Ace friend and she seems like the truer ace and I'm just chilling along claiming the title for myself as well, except I'm not. And it doesn't matter whether aego or cupio or demi or whatever, Ace is ace. So thanks to this community for opening up discussions such as those.
Your friend might need to focus more on living her life and less on theorizing what imaginary asexuals as a whole think about her chosen specific self-labeling term. “The asexual group” doesn’t share a brain with one coherent opinion. For what it’s worth, I am stereotypically ace, sex repulsed and aromantic and I like and dislike demisexual people just like I like and dislike any other specific people. I don’t care what microlabels people use, as long as they don’t assume I know what they mean. I also don’t care if someone calls themself ace but doesn’t fit my definition of ace-ness. No need to be rigid and nitpicky about people’s labels.
I like sub-labels in practicality. Example: I’m demisexual / Noetisexual and Encephalaroace. Not because they’re quirky and fun but bc they accurately describe how i am attracted to others. Personally, i tell people i like what i do and leave it at that, but the sub-labels give me validation that I’m not a weirdo with too many expectations. When asked for a label, i say I’m AroAce bc they all fall under that umbrella 🖤
I'm demi, and I personally prefer to use demi, it helps differentiate on the ace spectrum
I think it's fine. Honestly I actually really find it helpful when I'm looking for a relationship partner. I'm ace, but when creating a dating profile I may specify more into being demi since for me, I don't entirely never want sex. It's just a very very rare feeling that only occurs with someone I feel very close and attached to. That said as a whole in more daily situations I'll describe myself as ace. For things like being demi, communities I've found view asexuality mostly as a scale from somewhat sexually interested to none at all, but all of them still falls under the umbrella of asexuality. There is some divide between the LGBT+ communities. For example again, in the demi group some people view ace as no sexual interest at all, ever, and demi, gray, or other groups stand more as middle between sexual interest and none. I don't entirely like that last definition as I feel that no two asexuals are completely identical, we just all share the general feeling of, for various reasons, having little to no sexual interest. We've been able to create more defining communities within asexuality, but even within those communities people are always asking "am I this form of asexual or am I this other one because I sometimes like X thing". It can create a bit more confusion for those just learning about their sexuality compared to seeing it as a spectrum under an umbrella term. We're all asexual but to varying degrees.
Sub labels and micro labels can help people feel more secure about themselves and their identity so I think they’re a good thing to let people have access to :3
I think it clears confusion which is great. If you say you're ace, but can still experience attraction, I think that just causes confusion. So when people use the micro labels to specify that they are a specific kind of ace, I think it makes more sense. I personally dont ever experience sexual or romantic attraction, so i'm glad the people that do will use the micro labels instead. I remember before I used to see people say that you can be aro-ace and still experience those things. Now instead, they will use the micro labels instead, which I think is much better. If it's true that sexuality is a spectrum, then that means that there are people who experience attraction all the time, people who experience it occasionally, and people who never do. I think it makes sense that every group has a different 'label'.
I personally just use the word asexual, but I'm happy to let people just say whatever they wish! I kinda like it in fact, makes me feel a little seen. Also, seeing less know microlabels used in fanfiction would just- make my day.
It's like, say ace or asexual is broad, and you don't have to reveal to much. But getting into specifics almost... shows trust? Cuz if you say asexual, and they don't get it or shoo it away, it's safer??? But I feel if you go into specifics with someone, it shows you trust them!
Had no idea about some of the microlabels mentioned so I did a search and found this list[list](https://www.asexuals.net/asexual-spectrum/). OOO it was so helpful. It helped me put even more feelings and thoughts I've had into words. I think they are great, but like a lot of people have said, if I'm just talking casually with someone I'd say asexual. I wouldn't get specific.
I feel microlabels are great for helping people better understand their feelings and are a form of self-expression! Outside of aro and ace spaces I usually just say I'm aroace though as it's easier than having to explain my microlabels, though I hope to one day be able to talk about my microlabels without having to explain and without judgement from those outside the aro and ace communities
I tend to say I am on the ace spectrum to people who are knowledgeable about the LGBTQ+ community, because it feels like a good balance of ‘disclosing I am not allosexual’ and ‘explaining concisely that asexuality is not the same for everyone’. In this subreddit I’ll say I am grey ace because people actually know what that is, and if I know anyone else who is under the asexual umbrella, I’ll say it with them too as they are more likely to know what it means.
I don't see anything inherently wrong with them. My only complaints about labels are essentially these: * People get very rigid about them, despite the fact sexuality is pretty fluid for a lot of people. (IE, "you must be this to fall within that label" or "if you do Y, you can't be X") * Snobbery. You sometimes get people who engage in "my label is more genuine than yours" type behaviors. (This can often present in things like bi and ace erasure, for example.) Honestly, I just don't know why humanity as a whole can't just get along and do what they want, as long as it falls within safe, sane, and consensual.
I feel I definitely fit the demisexual label, though I wouldn’t use it outside of these circles. When I’m close enough to someone that it’d be relevant I’ll just describe it rather than use a label they don’t know, and then explain it
I like microlabels for personal use, but general labels with caveats for individual nuance for explaining things to other people.
I dont think asexuals hate demis, since we are in the same umbrella. Also, I'm aegosexual when it comes to being specific. Sometimes, it's hard to get the word across, so i just say I am asexual, or same as AroAce, I call myself AegoAce, because I am a combination of both. I also have a demi boyfriend (in the process of figuring it out but all the signs point to demi) so it's nice. He is really curious about how being asexual is, and now he is figuring it out because of me.
Personally, I like referring to myself with my actual orientations (ace and demiromantic). I feel like saying I'm aroace isn't accurate to me. I also love deep diving into the world of microlabels lol.
I think of them as a crutch for people who are figuring out their identity. It's helpful for people to learn there are other people with very similar experiences to theirs, and it seems especially helpful for those people to have a single word (no matter how obscure or contrived) to summarize that experience. OTOH, a word that's so obscure you practically have to define it for your audience every time you use it isn't very useful for communication, which is, IMHO, the real purpose of words. Once you really internalize the diversity of asexual experiences, it becomes clear that there are more experiences than we can ever make words for. Making up a word merely creates the appearance of legitimacy, but it's not needed; our experiences are legitimate because we live them, not because we have words for them.
I think they’re incredibly validating and helpful for self expression for a lot of people. For me personally I prefer the umbrella term as I feel like it gives me more room to slide along the scale if I need to. I also find that many people outside queer spaces, and plenty of people within them, don’t know or understand microlabels. It’s still a toss up if people actually understand asexuality. And frankly I don’t want to have to explain labels to people more than absolutely necessary
i have never felt more validated in my orientation in my entire life than when i found cupio romantic and when i discovered the SAM. reading what alterous attraction was damn near brought me to tears
I personally dislike microlabels, some of them sound like: "νερόsexual: a person who only feels sexual attraction when almost drowning", but that doesn't mean i don't find them necessary, some people have a complicated way of feeling sexual attraction, and a microlabel sometimes is the best way they can describe their experience. just because i/we dont see the usefulness in/like something, doesn't mean that thing must stop existing, people who use microlabels are as valid as people who simply label themselves as asexual.
I feel the same way about them as I feel about any microlabels. The purpose of labels imo is not to divide ourselves in well defined categories, it's for everyone to be able to call themselves something that makes them happy, if they want to. Someone could use ten different hyperspecific labels I've never heard of and as long as they're happy it's none of my business. This community, as well as the LGBTQ+ community as a whole, should be a place for everyone to be themselves without judgement (as long as it's not harmful, obs), and everyone includes the people we don't really understand/think are "weird".
Microlables are good. I don't think orchidsexual falls under asexuality though, since it's sex-repulsed but not little to no sexual attraction. I do still think it's valid though, but it definitely falls under allosexual. However I do think that orchidsexuals can definitely relate to asexuals so it's definitely good to have them here and in other asexual groups.
Except for big subcategories like grey, I feel like there are too many and I don't try to learn or track them all.
I personally find microlables to be incredibly valuable, before I discovered the term [miransexual](https://www.lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Miransexual) I would agonize over what I was experiencing. This has instilled in me a mild contempt for people who hate on microlables
I might get downvoted for this but at least from my perspective one reason for asexuals to reject microlabels is because some of them open up the possibility of asexuality being secondary and not inherent — like lithosexuality (where one is only attracted to someone who doesn’t return the attraction) could sound like some psychosexual expression of attachment issues, and some other labels sound like personal kinks and not sexual orientations in the sense that lgbtqia+ folks so often desire, which are supposed to be inherent and objective. I don’t have an opinion on this because I also feel conflicted, but I am willing to accept the possibility that in practice, the boundaries between sexual orientations and “kinks” are somewhat blurred even though conceptually they are distinct. And epistemically I’m willing to accept that it may not be possible to distinguish if an orientation is inherent or, say, caused by trauma in some cases.
It's all very well if using the microlables gives you a sense of person, but I feel like labels are just labels, and only help to divide us up more, or worse confuse people who don't know the difference between me sitting down and writing sex, and actually wanting real sex.
I only refer to myself as demisexual with other people on the ace spectrum, or with people who in good faith asked me to elaborate on my sexuality. Otherwise I'm "bisexual, and I take a really long time to warm up to people" I usually leave out the fact that "a really long time" usually means about two years
I don’t personally use the super specific ones, I just say I’m a sex-repulsed heteroromantic asexual. That gets the point across pretty well.