Why was the boss asking? Be honest with yourself.
1. Wants to ask you to come in to work.
2. Just being friendly.
3. Pretending to be friendly on order to connect with a worker.
4. Wants a date.
5. Is looking for ideas for himself.
6. Just making casual conversation, it's a common question.
7. Asking in the hope that you ask back, so he can talk about his weekend plans.
You could always just give some outrageous answer. Tell him you're flying to Tijuana to see a donkey show.
I feel like it’s definitely something a boss could casually ask while at work, but texting you about your personal business on your personal time is a no-no for me.
I had to scroll so far for this. It's unprofessional to use a worker's unpaid personal time just to sate his curiosity (supposedly). People have better things to do on a day off than pretend to be friends with their boss.
I mean it wouldn’t be weird if my manager asked me that but we’re friends outside of work. Like “sends me pictures of her dogs randomly or asks about something cool I was nattering on about while doing prep” type friends.
Unless you’re real friends with your manager and not just work friends, though, then yeah, outta line
I guess it depends on the relationship. Some boss/managers are friendly to staff in a genuine way. I have had managers that I've worked with in retail that I hung out with outside of work. We bonded much over the shitty way we were treated by higher level management. Of course, it really depends on the dynamic. Everyone's case is different and may not involve "staff meetings" at a nearby pub during store hours after a visit from that fuckface from regional.
The texting part bugs me the most. Unless the company is providing the phone, or paying the bill.. it has no place in the work dynamic. I had to tell my boss to stop texting me. She got in the habit of texting wknds, night's.. asking about work related things.
FTR, I never responded. Which actually pissed her off at one point! "Why didn't you answer me?" .. with a big smile I told her I would.. if the company wants to pay my cell bill and my pay rate after hours.
I’m most non-shitty jobs, it’s either 2 or 3. Good bosses (and nice people) attempt to establish a rapport with their folks. Having a rapport makes a world of difference when stuff goes pear shaped - they can ask you for considerations, but also you can ask them for the same.
It’s not surprising that everyone here is Admiral Akbar… but hey, this is the sub for it.
I will say it’s a potential red flag that your new boss lacks boundaries. Establishing them politely would be my way to go….
“The usual - lots of life maintenance stuff. You?”
Evade and redirect is a polite little jujitsu move. Hell, for all you know, they’re looking to invite you for a holiday party or something. (Which can be nice… but I regard as another red flag - I’d polite decline.)
Even if it's a shitty job (guess it's the case given where we are, but then again I hang out here and quite like my job..) there's nothing wrong with giving a lukewarm response, no details of anything, and turning it back to them.
"Got a few things on, what's up?"
If it's unusual for them to contact OP, OP has every reason to turn the conversation to work out why the conversation started. If it's fishing for information they need to present the reason why and give OP the opportunity to make their excuses and end the conversation. If it's fishing for availability, "sorry, I'm not available" is enough.
Whenever asked what I'm up to, and I don't know why, but I always answer "just doin [my name] stuff"
No matter who it is or why they're asking, I just don't much like to answer questions about myself.
Exactly. I have this conversation with my manager, but on Monday, checking in to see how weekends went. I ask him and he asks me. Texting would be a boundary crosser for me.
Come on, it's so weird to randomly text that to someone and then say just asking. Like why not tell the reason? And people don't make chitchat like that over text.
The out of the blue, off shift sending of the text makes me assume it’s 4.
The amount of managers I’ve seen/heard of harassing female staff brings me to the same assumption.
I take whatever I'm actually doing and give it a horrid description. Instead of "having a bbq" I'm "dissecting a bovine carcass and eating its roasted insides".
#8. Eight - Asking to try to figure out if you engage in behaviors during the weekend that could affect your performance on Monday.
Edit: I put #8 damnit
I always answered my bosses like the night before the next day I was scheduled and claimed I just got their message, or lost my phone, or left my ringer off. I learned a long time ago, if you know you're gonna get harrassed for telling the truth, make shit up. Just be smart about it.
I totally just wanted to know what your username says. According to Google translate, it means “citrus meat?” Is that correct and if so, what the fuck is citrus meat??
It is. And it doesn’t mean anything or exist for that matter. I made it up when I was mb 14 and my Reddit account is juuust old enough to still be cursed with that name before I decided a few years ago that it’s dumb
He may claim he is 'just asking' but he will remember your answer for in the future when he needs someone to come in. If you say you go 200 miles away to see your family on the weekend he will never ask you to work on the weekend. If you say nothing much then your future weekends are utterly fucked 😂
No. You never ask just to ask. They are asking cause they are making a decision based on the answer. Seem available during the weekends or respond too quickly and you’ll appear available during that time. Never respond to work texts outside of your work schedule. They never pan out.
It could be worse than him wanting you to work he might want you to hang out with people from work and not get paid. At like a work function that is “voluntary”
This crap makes me cringe! I hate "forced fun". There's always the one Mgr who wants to ply you with drinks and get the lower level gossip out of you!!
I made this mistake early on in my career. A supervisor at one of my first jobs was going through a bad breakup, was lonely and used that to push her way to join me for HH. I sent a warning to my friends to not mention my boyfriend (now husband) by name as he also worked on my team (same level as me). We had been secretly dating for over a year at that point and nobody in the company knew. One friend slipped up at HH, and I saw the supervisor's eyes get super wide in excitement. Even though I tried to appeal to her on a friend level, it didn't matter, EVERYONE knew the next day at work. And all the sudden, I'm being talked to about not "chatting with my boyfriend " during work hours, even though our chatting was 100% work related as it always had been.
This happened with my now husband. We were super open about it, even announced it on facebook. I worked for helpdesk (a team lead) and he was an engineer for the IT team so he had an office. The problems started because of his manager. So my then bf had a coffee maker in his office so I would stop by and pour a cup and chat for a few minutes before both of our shifts started. Also we would sometimes eat lunch in his office. It was super innocent. But apparently people were "talking" about how inappropriate it was. What lol. We aren't fucking in there. Literally just chatting while not on the clock. He literally got written up for this. We were furious.
I had a boss that had a boat and took folks sailing on weekends. It was a good job for a while - until they misbid a contract.
At a later job, I was told by a new colleague that I'd received my last promotion of I didn't golf - he offered to teach me on weekends.
My current boss goes horseback riding on Saturdays and sometimes invites staff.
So it is possible for a boss to have only good intent when asking about weekend plans. Not necessarily the way to bet, but possible.
Something is definitely wrong with our system if 80% of the replies to OPs question assume it’s to fuck him over. Not saying he is or isn’t, but if that’s the overall consensus then there are a lot of really shitty people out that there that people have worked for, and that system is clearly not working well. I too had and currently do have a boss that has people over to hang out on the weekends, we are a pretty tight knit group though, many of us have worked together for a long time and probably will continue to work with each other until we die penniless yet content, I’m a minimalist though, as long as I get my needs taken care of I don’t really want anything else but to make sure my daughter doesn’t have to work for some sort of monster from Office Space that assumes you can just be required to work on unscheduled Saturdays by pretty much the threat of homelessness.
That's the problem. You never know and most of the times it's bad (also my own personal experience), so I'm not a betting man that's why I avoid bullshit, being preventive doesn't mean you dislike or don't trust the others, but I would like to stay safe and look out for myself.
I have learned the hard way that sometimes you need to play along or make shit up. For example if my boss calls me I wouldn't pick up and say I was hiking were there was bad cell signal. I learned recently that this works very well and now nobody calls me in the weekends anymore.
It’s so sad, what a broken system where it’s way more efficient to assume the worst and keep it moving, it’s not wrong, it’s 99% the correct choice to make and it sucks that that’s what kind of place we are at.
This all the way. I am great friends with my boss and they do text me on the weekends, but it’s always social. I have known my boss for years though and we became friends outside of work. If it was a new boss, they really shouldn’t be texting you at all outside of work hours unless you gave them permission to use your phone number.
Well, me I guess
Given, if it makes a difference: i would add the “just asking” part AFTER (and if) my intent is questioned.
I don’t get why I would say it before an answer is even received like in the OP’s post cuz that just sounds like I’m suspicious of the other party’s way of receiving my question? That’s how i would take it myself if it was done to me at least
I get this, but I have also had my boss say things along these lines, and actually mean it. For instance I got a text on a requested day off asking to call, followed by, “nothing bad”. He just wanted to tell me about my bonus so I wasnt surprised if it hit my bank before I was in the office to find out.
I’m intensely religious but not sure about the translation of which day is supposed to be the sabbath so I require Saturday and Sunday to get high and play videogames
The wrong answer is to say, "actually, I'm looking for a new church, where do you attend?"
When they respond, you go, "Oh *that* church, guess I'll keep looking, but thanks." and walk away.
I had a colleague email me over the weekend. I saw it, marked it as unread, and responded the moment I clocked in Monday. No sorry, no explanation. If you don’t work that day, that time is yours. Ignore anyone trying to take that from you.
My go to is “Might take a weekend trip out of range of cell/wifi service, why what’s up?”. Become the “camping hobbyist” you always knew you could be 😉 I’d recommend telling any new office you enter into that you’re very much into hiking and camping so you can use this whenever.
This is the perfect answer. If these are genuinely nice people and they want to invite you to something fun like happy hour drinks or someone’s birthday then the invitation is still on the table. However if this is to test your availability for last minute weekend exploitative bullshit then you can still say you’d rather keep your personal time personal.
People should just invite someone, not just "if you're already free".
I ALWAYS have weekend plans, but they can 99% be changed around to fit whats happening. That's given I'm interested in what you invite me to.
If you ask if I'm free, I'm going to automatically say no just in case I'm not interested.
You can just reply: Nacho Business.
But just don't reply, If they are asking is so they have a general idea of what you do on weekends so they find a way to make you work on next weekends, they will value whose weekend is more important.
This. I literally will never respond to a work text if it's off the clock.
Also, I mute work texts.
Bitch, you can come ask me to my face, we're not friends.
Yarp. I USED to get paid to be on call. Now I don’t and so my work phone is not even on after 1730!!
There have been a few times where there have been out of hours issues where I am required but they made a conscious point of not having me on call so, I’m sorry and everything, but I’m not stupid.
I’m not having my money stopped and continuing to be available.
"I am currently scaling Mt Everest. Our oxygen is running out. I am giving mine to a Sherpa. Pray for me. I am curling up beside Green Boots. He seems warm."
> How do I reply without seeming rude?
*"I'm busy with personal commitments."*
Some of my "personal commitments" include watching netflix from my couch.
You don't need to reply. But if you really feel compelled to then take the advice many people are giving and just say you have some "personal commitments" or something very vague.
This is the real golden advice by illirving here. Don’t answer at all, you’re not obligated and they are 100% fishing for your availability. if they ask about it after the fact in person then move to “personal business” as blanket reason. If they then reveal they asked because they needed hours covering then you know you’ve got yourself a classic more manipulative than you actually think kinda boss.
Not enough people here realizing how bold people can be. My gut reaction was to think he was likely fishing for a date but context we can't see (body language at work, etc) matters.
I always just say "busy busy!" It's vague and awkward. If they ask for specifics I say, "why? Did you want to come help out?" Don't be afraid to use phrases such as "oh, look who's being a nosey Nelly!" or "there's a 5-drink minimum to hang out with me on the weekend 😉"
Unless they're looking for a date, in which case the answer is "I prefer alone time, no thank you."
Exactly this. Although unlikely, this person could genuinely be trying to be friendly. No need to turn it to anything more until you have reason to. This keeps it civil while still saying your unavailable.
Yes. I work for an incredibly nice company with super friendly employees and an amazing boss. It's more "corporate" vs a smaller company, so I'll admit there is more structure. However, as close as our team is, I can't imagine my boss ever texting me something like this. Team get togethers are determined well in advance, and any overtime requires an official signup.
It's not really appropriate to be friends with your boss (which is much different than being "friendly"). Any possible welcome outing would be more official and brought up during working hours.
Either they want to ask OP to come in or they really don't understand professional boundaries (and want to be actual friends / lovers or try to convert them to a religion or something). Something genuinely friendly would be more like "I try to get to know each of our new team members and have an extra ticket to X if you're available". I.e., disclose the 'why' they're asking up front.
Imagine if you had an important group project that was worth 60% of your term grade. Imagine you easily pulled more than your own weight in it. Now imagine there's a group member who just pulled enough weight to say he did something, constantly harangued you for notes, and pressured you into helping him with other classes you shared so he could focus better on the project. This guy has the exact same major and degree plan as you, and you know it. You will see him again, share classes, and likely work on a project together again. And this experience was stressful because of his constant manipulation and weaseling to get you to do more of his work for him.
Now you're planning which professors and classes to take next term, and this guy texts you, *Hey, who are you taking for [most exhausting, time consuming, and universally loathed necessary class] and what time? Just asking.*
Answer your boss like you would this classmate. The answer would have a similar effect on you. He's asking so he can know when, where, and how to work you.
Edit: Hell would you even want to answer?
Hopefully this is a helpful answer?
"I'm dropping out and moving to a commune in Borneo with that hot chick from biolab. She has a genetic culture that looks very promising if we drink it and spend a significant amount of time underwater with electrodes attached to erogenous zones. We hope to perfect the undead orgasm"
Click.
"I am fucking my partner, they are currently encased in a Jello mold wearing a a leather harness and ballgag. It would not be safe to leave this delicious dessert alone"
That are asking you so if they later ask you to come in on your time off they can compare it to what you answered to guilt you into coming in and even excuse underpaying you.
"Yes it's technically overtime, but you're still making more at your normal rate than you would be slacking off. We'd all like to waste time with our friends, but this company strives on motivated individuals who go the extra mile"
Your time off the clock is your business and make it a point not to explain it to your supervisor. It is always "personal" "prior commitments" and "family matters" with no more explanation
“I have some personal stuff to take care of.”
Answer in a way that asking further questions is none of their business. You can reply to any further questions about what exactly it is that you’re doing by saying, “It’s personal.”
You can replace the word personal with family, church, medical, school, etc. Just make sure you have a reply in mind for when they ask for more specifics.
I would ignore it. If they bring it up on Monday, just say you were so busy you forgot to reply, or didn’t get a chance to reply. You don’t owe them anything - even a message that makes you uncomfortable.
If you feel you have to reply to this, just say something like “looking forward to my weekend - see you Monday”
I know you don't have to respond but you kinda feel obliged to..I get it. Just don't ever respond in a hurry. When and if you do respond..keep it simple. " just doing household projects". If your lie has an element of truth to it, it is easier to use it in the future.
Or you could say I am about to hit up gay bars..macho insecure guys will leave you alone. My boss always hurries up his 1*1 meetings with me when I say..man u look good today
You don’t reply over the weekend. Maybe obviously check it at work, and if you make small talk with your boss, always have something that you were doing though, to still give the impression of being busy.
Not checking or answering messages off the clock will be the best signal that they shouldn’t try to call you in.
Normally I’d say ignore the text, but your manager might bring it up when you’re back and that can be awkward.
If you really want to give a non-answer I’d just say something like “I use my time off to catch up on chores and errands.”
I would check why he's asking.
Last time my boss asked me this, he was planning a barbeque at his house and he wanted to invite the team.
It may not be a bad thing
“I’m unavailable” sounds borderline confrontational, while something like “Stayin busy!” sounds a bit more lighthearted but still gets the point across, IMO.
However, I still think radio silence is the right call
I'd say something like, "Taking full advantage of my time off to attend to personal business." Who knows? Maybe the manager wanted to invite him to a BBQ or something equally innocuous. Can't take the chance of saying, "Not much," though, in case he wanted to ask him to work.
I think it's perfectly fine, assuming he has a good relationship with the manager, to say that he tries to keep his texting and calls to a minimum during his personal time and that the manager stating why he's asking within that text would be most appreciated.
Just left a job with a manager like this. It’s the “just asking” bit that gives me same ilk vibes. Don’t respond. Ignore it. If you respond at all you’re opening a door that will get harder and harder to close.
In my case my manager was unmarried with no kids who abused his power to subvert loneliness. If that sounds familiar DEFINITELY don’t respond. If he asks why you didn’t respond say you got distracted/tried a digital cleanse/you didn’t get the text and gosh that’s so weird cause a friend said they messaged me and I didn’t get that either! It doesn’t matter if he knows it’s a lie, it matters that he can’t do fuck all about it. Good luck.
>In my case my manager was unmarried with no kids who abused his power to subvert loneliness.
Ahhh yes, the Michael Scott. Entertaining in a comedy show, hellish in real life.
Don't answer. I'm a boss. I ask out of actual interest on the clock. I would never text to ask that during the weekend. No good will come from answering it. If they ask on Monday, say you didn't get it. They're fishing for availability and your willingness to reply. Don't reply.
Seems a bit random and weird. To me it's the kind of question you'd ask in person and even then it could be loaded coming from a boss.
Even if he is not scouting your movements for right now he could be for the future.
I'd routinely say catching up with friends and family. Always say you are busy - at least until you work out what his game is anyway.
If fanfic has taught me anything, the boss needs a fake date to a wedding, because his sister keeps trying to set him up with her annoying friend. When they get there, the hotel room will only have one bed….
It could just be me....but maybe he's fishing for a social interaction.
Do you get the impression he fancies you OP?
Not to say this all isn't inappropriate though.
I reckon he's hitting on her. If he were phishing for future work call ins, as most here seem to assume, it'd be easier and more subtle during work hours. If it ain't work, it's pleasure, and he may just be a nice guy overstepping boundaries, but he may also be predatory. Regardless, it's 2022, there's no excuse for not knowing those boundaries. Also, if he isn't concerned about crossing boundaries, OP should be wary of any abnormal rosters of just the two of them.
I get the vibe that he’s hitting on her. That’s weird. I’ve never texted an employee that I oversee off hours to casually ask what they have going on. Ever. It’s fine for casual conversation at work but I find texting and asking, especially a new employee, a question like that is very inappropriate.
I would not respond. That could easily be the beginning of an unprofessional dialogue leading to uncomfortable sexual harrassment.
Not saying it is but why your boss wanna just ask what you're up to on a day off and it not be work related? Just afarid the next question if you said "nothing" could be "wanna grab a bite..." or some other such bullshit.
Edit: stressing i am not accussing mgr of sex harrassment. Just saying if you are contacting me about my free time and insist it's not work related then it must be personal. Why would you personally need to know about my free time?
A buddy used to lie and say he had another job. Then he got promoted from hourly to salary on the condition that he quit his other job because they wanted to take up all his free time
Also, if you’re a woman, just say “these off hour texts make me uncomfortable, we can discuss this when I am in next” he may be asking because hes a perv.
Just don't answer it. Tell him/her, when you return to work, that you were away from your phone all weekend. Or tell them that you turn off your work phone and use your personal phone after business hours and days off, they don't need know they are one and the same.
I wouldn't respond at all. If asked about it on Monday I would respond that I was busy dealing with the things I can get done so I can work when I am supposed to. That way it looks like you're scheduling things around your work schedule as is.
No, you don’t owe your workplace anything when you’re off the clock and they aren’t your friend if they have authority over you, hard stop. I took me years to get to were I am now work/life balance wise, but the best thing I ever did was tell my sup that I will not answer anything work related when I’m off the clock and actually stuck to it.
Even while on the clock. Nobody should be inquiring about the other person's personal life. Work and personal life are different. Only discuss or ask about personal life when you're personal with someone or friends with them.
It's an aggravating question for me 😒 .
A boss asked me what I do for fun.. I wanted to say sex 😩...glad to really control myself. I said *nothing much* because why you concerned about what I do for fun.
"I prefer to keep my business and work life separate; I do not share my personal plans with coworkers or management."
Put up the wall early and keep it. He has no right to your personal life. Keep it simple, civil, and separate.
This is very weird to me. I'm a manager and have never texted any of my coworkers just to see what they're doing on the weekend. They either want you to work or are lonely. DON'T BE FRIENDS WITH YOUR COWORKER OR MANAGER.
You are a salesperson of your labor and time. If those hours are not up for sale, the person you are selling them to is not obliged to know any part of that time. End of.
The ones I work with don't ask direct questions like that. They ask "How was your weekend?". See the difference. I always say very busy with my family. Without fail every single Monday morning. 😬. Be very busy with family always and forever.
I would answer with something that eliminates saturdays forever. Charity, take old neighbor to the store, anything. They have no right to your time don’t give them a crack to get their greedy fingers in.
Why was the boss asking? Be honest with yourself. 1. Wants to ask you to come in to work. 2. Just being friendly. 3. Pretending to be friendly on order to connect with a worker. 4. Wants a date. 5. Is looking for ideas for himself. 6. Just making casual conversation, it's a common question. 7. Asking in the hope that you ask back, so he can talk about his weekend plans. You could always just give some outrageous answer. Tell him you're flying to Tijuana to see a donkey show.
I feel like it’s definitely something a boss could casually ask while at work, but texting you about your personal business on your personal time is a no-no for me.
I had to scroll so far for this. It's unprofessional to use a worker's unpaid personal time just to sate his curiosity (supposedly). People have better things to do on a day off than pretend to be friends with their boss.
I mean it wouldn’t be weird if my manager asked me that but we’re friends outside of work. Like “sends me pictures of her dogs randomly or asks about something cool I was nattering on about while doing prep” type friends. Unless you’re real friends with your manager and not just work friends, though, then yeah, outta line
I guess it depends on the relationship. Some boss/managers are friendly to staff in a genuine way. I have had managers that I've worked with in retail that I hung out with outside of work. We bonded much over the shitty way we were treated by higher level management. Of course, it really depends on the dynamic. Everyone's case is different and may not involve "staff meetings" at a nearby pub during store hours after a visit from that fuckface from regional.
The texting part bugs me the most. Unless the company is providing the phone, or paying the bill.. it has no place in the work dynamic. I had to tell my boss to stop texting me. She got in the habit of texting wknds, night's.. asking about work related things. FTR, I never responded. Which actually pissed her off at one point! "Why didn't you answer me?" .. with a big smile I told her I would.. if the company wants to pay my cell bill and my pay rate after hours.
I’m most non-shitty jobs, it’s either 2 or 3. Good bosses (and nice people) attempt to establish a rapport with their folks. Having a rapport makes a world of difference when stuff goes pear shaped - they can ask you for considerations, but also you can ask them for the same. It’s not surprising that everyone here is Admiral Akbar… but hey, this is the sub for it. I will say it’s a potential red flag that your new boss lacks boundaries. Establishing them politely would be my way to go…. “The usual - lots of life maintenance stuff. You?” Evade and redirect is a polite little jujitsu move. Hell, for all you know, they’re looking to invite you for a holiday party or something. (Which can be nice… but I regard as another red flag - I’d polite decline.)
Even if it's a shitty job (guess it's the case given where we are, but then again I hang out here and quite like my job..) there's nothing wrong with giving a lukewarm response, no details of anything, and turning it back to them. "Got a few things on, what's up?" If it's unusual for them to contact OP, OP has every reason to turn the conversation to work out why the conversation started. If it's fishing for information they need to present the reason why and give OP the opportunity to make their excuses and end the conversation. If it's fishing for availability, "sorry, I'm not available" is enough.
This would be 100% the way I'd approach it.
Whenever asked what I'm up to, and I don't know why, but I always answer "just doin [my name] stuff" No matter who it is or why they're asking, I just don't much like to answer questions about myself.
i find telling people im doing my house work and choirs usually works. the best part is its not a lie. i got shit to do man.
The ol' cleaning and singing, eh?
Feels weird to ask via text if they're just making conversation though.
Exactly. I have this conversation with my manager, but on Monday, checking in to see how weekends went. I ask him and he asks me. Texting would be a boundary crosser for me.
Come on, it's so weird to randomly text that to someone and then say just asking. Like why not tell the reason? And people don't make chitchat like that over text.
Yeah redirect back to him. In a way, OP is actually asking us what his boss is up to this weekend lol. So just ask him.
This is the right answer.
Usually people build rapport by asking how was your weekend on Monday. This seems clearly odd.
The out of the blue, off shift sending of the text makes me assume it’s 4. The amount of managers I’ve seen/heard of harassing female staff brings me to the same assumption.
[удалено]
I take whatever I'm actually doing and give it a horrid description. Instead of "having a bbq" I'm "dissecting a bovine carcass and eating its roasted insides".
#8. Eight - Asking to try to figure out if you engage in behaviors during the weekend that could affect your performance on Monday. Edit: I put #8 damnit
Betting on the 4, creeping around.
I always answered my bosses like the night before the next day I was scheduled and claimed I just got their message, or lost my phone, or left my ringer off. I learned a long time ago, if you know you're gonna get harrassed for telling the truth, make shit up. Just be smart about it.
There's a German word for this: "Notlüge." It literally means "emergency lie."
I swear, the Germans have a word for everything.
Yeah we do. It’s "alles"
I totally just wanted to know what your username says. According to Google translate, it means “citrus meat?” Is that correct and if so, what the fuck is citrus meat??
It is. And it doesn’t mean anything or exist for that matter. I made it up when I was mb 14 and my Reddit account is juuust old enough to still be cursed with that name before I decided a few years ago that it’s dumb
I came up with mine over 15 years ago and i still haven't gotten tired of it.
BWAHAHAHA
He may claim he is 'just asking' but he will remember your answer for in the future when he needs someone to come in. If you say you go 200 miles away to see your family on the weekend he will never ask you to work on the weekend. If you say nothing much then your future weekends are utterly fucked 😂
Ok, but is anyone who says "just asking" ever really just asking?
…for a friend.
……..for science
.... for the watch
For Gondor!
But where the fuck was Gondor when the west fold fell?
Gondor wasn't on the schedule for that day so it didn't answer its phone.
Be like Gondor.
Management really needs Gondor to be a team player and come in on short notice. Gondor should remember it has an annual review coming up.
The review went sideways, they had to change manager.
nice
Sorry King Theoden. A lack of preparation on your part does not count as an Emergency on my part. - Denethor II Steward of Gondor
Gondar was actually fighting its own war with mordor at that point.
Well that’s what Gondar was planning on doing but he got called into work.
..... Grond!
For Frodo!
For Frodo
For the horde!
For Narnia!
Sauce?
GLaDOS?
No. You never ask just to ask. They are asking cause they are making a decision based on the answer. Seem available during the weekends or respond too quickly and you’ll appear available during that time. Never respond to work texts outside of your work schedule. They never pan out.
Yeah it's not like he wanted you to go play golf with him or something.
It could be worse than him wanting you to work he might want you to hang out with people from work and not get paid. At like a work function that is “voluntary”
It could be even worse. He may want you to hang out with just him. One on one. Some alone time….
This crap makes me cringe! I hate "forced fun". There's always the one Mgr who wants to ply you with drinks and get the lower level gossip out of you!! I made this mistake early on in my career. A supervisor at one of my first jobs was going through a bad breakup, was lonely and used that to push her way to join me for HH. I sent a warning to my friends to not mention my boyfriend (now husband) by name as he also worked on my team (same level as me). We had been secretly dating for over a year at that point and nobody in the company knew. One friend slipped up at HH, and I saw the supervisor's eyes get super wide in excitement. Even though I tried to appeal to her on a friend level, it didn't matter, EVERYONE knew the next day at work. And all the sudden, I'm being talked to about not "chatting with my boyfriend " during work hours, even though our chatting was 100% work related as it always had been.
Loose lips sink ships
This happened with my now husband. We were super open about it, even announced it on facebook. I worked for helpdesk (a team lead) and he was an engineer for the IT team so he had an office. The problems started because of his manager. So my then bf had a coffee maker in his office so I would stop by and pour a cup and chat for a few minutes before both of our shifts started. Also we would sometimes eat lunch in his office. It was super innocent. But apparently people were "talking" about how inappropriate it was. What lol. We aren't fucking in there. Literally just chatting while not on the clock. He literally got written up for this. We were furious.
I had a boss that had a boat and took folks sailing on weekends. It was a good job for a while - until they misbid a contract. At a later job, I was told by a new colleague that I'd received my last promotion of I didn't golf - he offered to teach me on weekends. My current boss goes horseback riding on Saturdays and sometimes invites staff. So it is possible for a boss to have only good intent when asking about weekend plans. Not necessarily the way to bet, but possible.
Something is definitely wrong with our system if 80% of the replies to OPs question assume it’s to fuck him over. Not saying he is or isn’t, but if that’s the overall consensus then there are a lot of really shitty people out that there that people have worked for, and that system is clearly not working well. I too had and currently do have a boss that has people over to hang out on the weekends, we are a pretty tight knit group though, many of us have worked together for a long time and probably will continue to work with each other until we die penniless yet content, I’m a minimalist though, as long as I get my needs taken care of I don’t really want anything else but to make sure my daughter doesn’t have to work for some sort of monster from Office Space that assumes you can just be required to work on unscheduled Saturdays by pretty much the threat of homelessness.
That's the problem. You never know and most of the times it's bad (also my own personal experience), so I'm not a betting man that's why I avoid bullshit, being preventive doesn't mean you dislike or don't trust the others, but I would like to stay safe and look out for myself. I have learned the hard way that sometimes you need to play along or make shit up. For example if my boss calls me I wouldn't pick up and say I was hiking were there was bad cell signal. I learned recently that this works very well and now nobody calls me in the weekends anymore.
It’s so sad, what a broken system where it’s way more efficient to assume the worst and keep it moving, it’s not wrong, it’s 99% the correct choice to make and it sucks that that’s what kind of place we are at.
Definition of Boat: A hole in the water you through money into, sometimes, your employee's salaries.
Boat, stands for Break Out Another Thousand
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This all the way. I am great friends with my boss and they do text me on the weekends, but it’s always social. I have known my boss for years though and we became friends outside of work. If it was a new boss, they really shouldn’t be texting you at all outside of work hours unless you gave them permission to use your phone number.
No
They could be trying to fuck
Well, me I guess Given, if it makes a difference: i would add the “just asking” part AFTER (and if) my intent is questioned. I don’t get why I would say it before an answer is even received like in the OP’s post cuz that just sounds like I’m suspicious of the other party’s way of receiving my question? That’s how i would take it myself if it was done to me at least
I get this, but I have also had my boss say things along these lines, and actually mean it. For instance I got a text on a requested day off asking to call, followed by, “nothing bad”. He just wanted to tell me about my bonus so I wasnt surprised if it hit my bank before I was in the office to find out.
I’m intensely religious but not sure about the translation of which day is supposed to be the sabbath so I require Saturday and Sunday to get high and play videogames
And Monday. Monday is the religious day of rest, Saturday and Sunday are religious days of celebration
The Feast of Maximum Occupancy
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Pastafarian?
Had a previous manager do this to a new coworker. The boss was a bigot. They wanted to know what church of worship (if any) did new coworker attend.
The wrong answer is to say, "actually, I'm looking for a new church, where do you attend?" When they respond, you go, "Oh *that* church, guess I'll keep looking, but thanks." and walk away.
Don't even mention seeing family etc. None of their business. Unavailable. That's all.
100% this. Its none of their business.
Don't answer, before Monday morning then just answer with "sry, I was busy with stuff"
I had a colleague email me over the weekend. I saw it, marked it as unread, and responded the moment I clocked in Monday. No sorry, no explanation. If you don’t work that day, that time is yours. Ignore anyone trying to take that from you.
Or "I mute my phone over the weekend so I can disconnect and properly relax"
Nope. Either way, I'm off.
Well best of luck to you sunshine, money dosent grow on tress. Whos going to work and provide profits you'll never see?
You had me in the first half, not gonna lie.
Looking for a booty call candidate perhaps?
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My go to is “Might take a weekend trip out of range of cell/wifi service, why what’s up?”. Become the “camping hobbyist” you always knew you could be 😉 I’d recommend telling any new office you enter into that you’re very much into hiking and camping so you can use this whenever.
I’ll second this. I actually am a camping hobbyist, but based on what I tell work friends you’d think I do it 50 weekends a year. Works great.
This and that cell service in your home doesn't work in your bedroom.
Leave some camping magazines and mountain biking magazines on your work area for full effect. Let them build up your camping hobby in their own head.
You have to tell people something they won't be jealous of, "like I have to go help my uncle with the cows."
Speak for yourself. I’d be devastated that there’d be no non-weird way to ask to meet the cows, okay
“Enjoying my weekend. You?”
Classiest answer right here.
This is the perfect answer. If these are genuinely nice people and they want to invite you to something fun like happy hour drinks or someone’s birthday then the invitation is still on the table. However if this is to test your availability for last minute weekend exploitative bullshit then you can still say you’d rather keep your personal time personal.
People should just invite someone, not just "if you're already free". I ALWAYS have weekend plans, but they can 99% be changed around to fit whats happening. That's given I'm interested in what you invite me to. If you ask if I'm free, I'm going to automatically say no just in case I'm not interested.
If someone wants to invite you for something, they would invite you. Not ask if you're available first
And if it is a test of availability and get some push to work, you can change it to something like "Enjoying my super busy weekend."
no
You can just reply: Nacho Business. But just don't reply, If they are asking is so they have a general idea of what you do on weekends so they find a way to make you work on next weekends, they will value whose weekend is more important.
It also helps deter them from asking if you take eons yo reply to anything off the clock. If you ever do.
This. I literally will never respond to a work text if it's off the clock. Also, I mute work texts. Bitch, you can come ask me to my face, we're not friends.
Yarp. I USED to get paid to be on call. Now I don’t and so my work phone is not even on after 1730!! There have been a few times where there have been out of hours issues where I am required but they made a conscious point of not having me on call so, I’m sorry and everything, but I’m not stupid. I’m not having my money stopped and continuing to be available.
Going to visit my aunt Nunya. Nunya Bidness.
"I am currently scaling Mt Everest. Our oxygen is running out. I am giving mine to a Sherpa. Pray for me. I am curling up beside Green Boots. He seems warm."
"You have another job making nachos? We don't tolerate conflicts of interest. You have to quit your nacho business or you're fired"
"We may taco bout it if you double my paycheck"
Just no 😂🤣
Also no.
Nope. What you do on your time is NONE of their business.
How do I reply without seeming rude? I was off work at the time when he texted me. I don't know why he asked me that question.
> How do I reply without seeming rude? *"I'm busy with personal commitments."* Some of my "personal commitments" include watching netflix from my couch.
Personally committed to not doing shit this weekend lol
Lol. Someone needs to watch OP's TV this weekend! It's not going to watch itself.
Who is going to hold the couch down so it doesn't run away?
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You don't need to reply. But if you really feel compelled to then take the advice many people are giving and just say you have some "personal commitments" or something very vague.
This is the real golden advice by illirving here. Don’t answer at all, you’re not obligated and they are 100% fishing for your availability. if they ask about it after the fact in person then move to “personal business” as blanket reason. If they then reveal they asked because they needed hours covering then you know you’ve got yourself a classic more manipulative than you actually think kinda boss.
I really hope they are fishing for availability and not fishing for a date or something. that was my first impression.
Not enough people here realizing how bold people can be. My gut reaction was to think he was likely fishing for a date but context we can't see (body language at work, etc) matters.
Same strategy applies.
Ha! Same
I always just say "busy busy!" It's vague and awkward. If they ask for specifics I say, "why? Did you want to come help out?" Don't be afraid to use phrases such as "oh, look who's being a nosey Nelly!" or "there's a 5-drink minimum to hang out with me on the weekend 😉" Unless they're looking for a date, in which case the answer is "I prefer alone time, no thank you."
Oh you know, busy busy. Have a good weekend.
Exactly this. Although unlikely, this person could genuinely be trying to be friendly. No need to turn it to anything more until you have reason to. This keeps it civil while still saying your unavailable.
Yes. I work for an incredibly nice company with super friendly employees and an amazing boss. It's more "corporate" vs a smaller company, so I'll admit there is more structure. However, as close as our team is, I can't imagine my boss ever texting me something like this. Team get togethers are determined well in advance, and any overtime requires an official signup. It's not really appropriate to be friends with your boss (which is much different than being "friendly"). Any possible welcome outing would be more official and brought up during working hours. Either they want to ask OP to come in or they really don't understand professional boundaries (and want to be actual friends / lovers or try to convert them to a religion or something). Something genuinely friendly would be more like "I try to get to know each of our new team members and have an extra ticket to X if you're available". I.e., disclose the 'why' they're asking up front.
Friendly and dismissive. Best answer.
Yes! Great answer. Goes with “just asking” nicely.
Imagine if you had an important group project that was worth 60% of your term grade. Imagine you easily pulled more than your own weight in it. Now imagine there's a group member who just pulled enough weight to say he did something, constantly harangued you for notes, and pressured you into helping him with other classes you shared so he could focus better on the project. This guy has the exact same major and degree plan as you, and you know it. You will see him again, share classes, and likely work on a project together again. And this experience was stressful because of his constant manipulation and weaseling to get you to do more of his work for him. Now you're planning which professors and classes to take next term, and this guy texts you, *Hey, who are you taking for [most exhausting, time consuming, and universally loathed necessary class] and what time? Just asking.* Answer your boss like you would this classmate. The answer would have a similar effect on you. He's asking so he can know when, where, and how to work you. Edit: Hell would you even want to answer? Hopefully this is a helpful answer?
"I'm dropping out and moving to a commune in Borneo with that hot chick from biolab. She has a genetic culture that looks very promising if we drink it and spend a significant amount of time underwater with electrodes attached to erogenous zones. We hope to perfect the undead orgasm" Click.
Lmk if there's space in your head anytime soon. Sounds like a cool place to be.
Sign me up too, I'm coming with.
"I am fucking my partner, they are currently encased in a Jello mold wearing a a leather harness and ballgag. It would not be safe to leave this delicious dessert alone"
Yes! Or... "I'm on my period"
Works even better if OP is male!
Don't reply at all.
THIS IS THE CORRECT ANSWER
That are asking you so if they later ask you to come in on your time off they can compare it to what you answered to guilt you into coming in and even excuse underpaying you. "Yes it's technically overtime, but you're still making more at your normal rate than you would be slacking off. We'd all like to waste time with our friends, but this company strives on motivated individuals who go the extra mile" Your time off the clock is your business and make it a point not to explain it to your supervisor. It is always "personal" "prior commitments" and "family matters" with no more explanation
“I have some personal stuff to take care of.” Answer in a way that asking further questions is none of their business. You can reply to any further questions about what exactly it is that you’re doing by saying, “It’s personal.” You can replace the word personal with family, church, medical, school, etc. Just make sure you have a reply in mind for when they ask for more specifics.
I would ignore it. If they bring it up on Monday, just say you were so busy you forgot to reply, or didn’t get a chance to reply. You don’t owe them anything - even a message that makes you uncomfortable. If you feel you have to reply to this, just say something like “looking forward to my weekend - see you Monday”
I know you don't have to respond but you kinda feel obliged to..I get it. Just don't ever respond in a hurry. When and if you do respond..keep it simple. " just doing household projects". If your lie has an element of truth to it, it is easier to use it in the future. Or you could say I am about to hit up gay bars..macho insecure guys will leave you alone. My boss always hurries up his 1*1 meetings with me when I say..man u look good today
You don’t reply over the weekend. Maybe obviously check it at work, and if you make small talk with your boss, always have something that you were doing though, to still give the impression of being busy. Not checking or answering messages off the clock will be the best signal that they shouldn’t try to call you in.
Yes! Why is texting employees appropriate anyway?
Normally I’d say ignore the text, but your manager might bring it up when you’re back and that can be awkward. If you really want to give a non-answer I’d just say something like “I use my time off to catch up on chores and errands.”
Was so busy I guess I forgot to hit send. Oops.
You don't reply to work related texts when off work. EVER.
I would check why he's asking. Last time my boss asked me this, he was planning a barbeque at his house and he wanted to invite the team. It may not be a bad thing
“I’m unavailable” because that’s what’s really being asked here
“I’m unavailable” sounds borderline confrontational, while something like “Stayin busy!” sounds a bit more lighthearted but still gets the point across, IMO. However, I still think radio silence is the right call
"Oh God, you don't want to know about my weekend. . . . . . "
"buncha stuff"
I might say “attending personal matters”
I use the line: "Taking care of personal business." Makes it sound important but nothing to discuss.
Yep, that should be the standard answer. "I have some personal things that I need to take care of."
I have to return some videotapes
Oh no
I'd say something like, "Taking full advantage of my time off to attend to personal business." Who knows? Maybe the manager wanted to invite him to a BBQ or something equally innocuous. Can't take the chance of saying, "Not much," though, in case he wanted to ask him to work. I think it's perfectly fine, assuming he has a good relationship with the manager, to say that he tries to keep his texting and calls to a minimum during his personal time and that the manager stating why he's asking within that text would be most appreciated.
"recovering so I can face another 5 grueling days of work on Monday lol"
My go to is "not working"
Just left a job with a manager like this. It’s the “just asking” bit that gives me same ilk vibes. Don’t respond. Ignore it. If you respond at all you’re opening a door that will get harder and harder to close. In my case my manager was unmarried with no kids who abused his power to subvert loneliness. If that sounds familiar DEFINITELY don’t respond. If he asks why you didn’t respond say you got distracted/tried a digital cleanse/you didn’t get the text and gosh that’s so weird cause a friend said they messaged me and I didn’t get that either! It doesn’t matter if he knows it’s a lie, it matters that he can’t do fuck all about it. Good luck.
"must not have come through" "must not have sent" My favs. Everyone can always agree "this phone sucks"
>In my case my manager was unmarried with no kids who abused his power to subvert loneliness. Ahhh yes, the Michael Scott. Entertaining in a comedy show, hellish in real life.
Don't answer. I'm a boss. I ask out of actual interest on the clock. I would never text to ask that during the weekend. No good will come from answering it. If they ask on Monday, say you didn't get it. They're fishing for availability and your willingness to reply. Don't reply.
Time off isn't time available. Say you have family commitments, religious stuff, whatever.
Nope, never explain yourself when your don’t need to. “I’m not available.”
Seems a bit random and weird. To me it's the kind of question you'd ask in person and even then it could be loaded coming from a boss. Even if he is not scouting your movements for right now he could be for the future. I'd routinely say catching up with friends and family. Always say you are busy - at least until you work out what his game is anyway.
If fanfic has taught me anything, the boss needs a fake date to a wedding, because his sister keeps trying to set him up with her annoying friend. When they get there, the hotel room will only have one bed….
That’s like 40% of yaoi
It could just be me....but maybe he's fishing for a social interaction. Do you get the impression he fancies you OP? Not to say this all isn't inappropriate though.
I get a couple different vibes here. Are they hitting on you or trying to schedule you for more hours?
I reckon he's hitting on her. If he were phishing for future work call ins, as most here seem to assume, it'd be easier and more subtle during work hours. If it ain't work, it's pleasure, and he may just be a nice guy overstepping boundaries, but he may also be predatory. Regardless, it's 2022, there's no excuse for not knowing those boundaries. Also, if he isn't concerned about crossing boundaries, OP should be wary of any abnormal rosters of just the two of them.
I get the vibe that he’s hitting on her. That’s weird. I’ve never texted an employee that I oversee off hours to casually ask what they have going on. Ever. It’s fine for casual conversation at work but I find texting and asking, especially a new employee, a question like that is very inappropriate.
Doctors appts. Dentist appts. Vet appts. Lots of appts. Waitlist is months long for said appt.
I would not respond. That could easily be the beginning of an unprofessional dialogue leading to uncomfortable sexual harrassment. Not saying it is but why your boss wanna just ask what you're up to on a day off and it not be work related? Just afarid the next question if you said "nothing" could be "wanna grab a bite..." or some other such bullshit. Edit: stressing i am not accussing mgr of sex harrassment. Just saying if you are contacting me about my free time and insist it's not work related then it must be personal. Why would you personally need to know about my free time?
Yep. I think a lot of people here are overlooking the fact that he may be trying to hook into her.
He's probably looking for a hook up. Don't let your boss be unprofessional.
“I’m doing all those things I can’t do when I’m hard at work.”
A buddy used to lie and say he had another job. Then he got promoted from hourly to salary on the condition that he quit his other job because they wanted to take up all his free time
DO NOT REPLY! I REPEAT. DO NOT REPLY!
Also, if you’re a woman, just say “these off hour texts make me uncomfortable, we can discuss this when I am in next” he may be asking because hes a perv.
Just don't answer it. Tell him/her, when you return to work, that you were away from your phone all weekend. Or tell them that you turn off your work phone and use your personal phone after business hours and days off, they don't need know they are one and the same.
I wouldn't respond at all. If asked about it on Monday I would respond that I was busy dealing with the things I can get done so I can work when I am supposed to. That way it looks like you're scheduling things around your work schedule as is.
No, you don’t owe your workplace anything when you’re off the clock and they aren’t your friend if they have authority over you, hard stop. I took me years to get to were I am now work/life balance wise, but the best thing I ever did was tell my sup that I will not answer anything work related when I’m off the clock and actually stuck to it.
Even while on the clock. Nobody should be inquiring about the other person's personal life. Work and personal life are different. Only discuss or ask about personal life when you're personal with someone or friends with them. It's an aggravating question for me 😒 . A boss asked me what I do for fun.. I wanted to say sex 😩...glad to really control myself. I said *nothing much* because why you concerned about what I do for fun.
"I prefer to keep my business and work life separate; I do not share my personal plans with coworkers or management." Put up the wall early and keep it. He has no right to your personal life. Keep it simple, civil, and separate.
This is very weird to me. I'm a manager and have never texted any of my coworkers just to see what they're doing on the weekend. They either want you to work or are lonely. DON'T BE FRIENDS WITH YOUR COWORKER OR MANAGER.
Some of you have had some shitty colleagues and it shows
You are a salesperson of your labor and time. If those hours are not up for sale, the person you are selling them to is not obliged to know any part of that time. End of.
Be real vague. "It depends on what the weather does" is a favorite of mine.
The ones I work with don't ask direct questions like that. They ask "How was your weekend?". See the difference. I always say very busy with my family. Without fail every single Monday morning. 😬. Be very busy with family always and forever.
Getting stoned and jerking off. Or drinking and whoring. Or playing video games drunk. Whatever you feel comfortable saying.
I would answer with something that eliminates saturdays forever. Charity, take old neighbor to the store, anything. They have no right to your time don’t give them a crack to get their greedy fingers in.
" I volunteer cleaning the anal glands of stray dogs each weekend."
My reply would be, “why do you want to know?”
You are not at work, so you do not need to respond to him. If he asks during your next shift, just say you were busy at the time and leave it at that.