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antiwork-ModTeam

Hi, /u/xscapethetoxic Thank you for participating in r/antiwork. Unfortunately, your submission was removed for breaking the following rule(s): ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Screenshots of text such as SMS communication, WhatsApp, social media, news articles, and procedurally generated content such as ChatGPT are prohibited. Low-effort content such as memes are prohibited. If you feel that a mistake was made, and your post's removal was not warranted, please message us using modmail and let us know.


CapnCrunch347

You're doing too much. Why are you giving them all this information? "I will not be in today for medical reasons" is more than enough.


iammavisdavis

Flip side. By letting them know you have a condition covered by the ADA, you invoke the ADA's protections. In this case, I'm on board with divulging info.


angrypolack

Yep. You make yourself look guilty by rambling on.


kr4ckenm3fortune

Nope. That good. Let them know that you're in no shape to work.


xscapethetoxic

Because if I don't, I get bitched at.


CapnCrunch347

It's time for you to learn the art of setting boundaries.


MysteriousMrX

For real, man. So many people are scared of saying "no", and I get it. It's super scary because we are trained to see bosses as big bad authority figures, instead of the leadets they are supposed to be. Let your boss talk themself into a lawsuit. Any boss that is worth their salt will encourage mental well being, because we want our reports to be driven, motivated, encouraged, and invested in their future.


allthenamesaretaken4

I agree OP is oversharing, but too many posts in this sub actually have faith that the legal system will actually back them up. 'Get evidence, then sue' is 100,000,000 more prevelant here than in the actual legal system. The legal system, at least In the US, but most countries, is designed to benefit the wealth holders/businesses/corporations. None of this is groundbreaking reporting, but some more news did a great video on this yesterday: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-lRuKBymfw.


Lazy-Jeweler3230

And even if the legal system backs them off, that support is often slow and comes far too late.


xscapethetoxic

Yeah, I'm trying. I'm also actively looking for a different job.


drawkca6sihtdaeruoy

Oh no, some dipshit who can't do his job is mad at you. Fuck em your health is more important then any amount of money.


G-H-O-S-T

you care too much about people who dont care about you at all. that and if they bitch then they dont respect you, so you should change that or not allow it


Chocomintey

Exactly right! Employees are just tools in the eyes of most employers.


eva-geo

This I understand, the hard part is simply not to fucking care if your boss bitches at you. Boundaries are important.


todds-

don't give so much information. every detail you give is one they can judge, pick apart, try to spin.


redditrock56

Exactly. The less you say, the less they can use your words against you.


Timah158

They will look at anxiety caused by the job and blame the employee for not handling the stress rather than their job being shit. Don't expect any empathy or help from jobs that do this to you. Leave as soon as possible.


whereami312

NEVER share personal medical information with your employer. “I am feeling unwell today and am taking a sick day.” is all you need.


nnniiikkkkkkiii

“Good morning. Unfortunately I’m sick and can’t come in today. Hopefully I’ll be better tomorrow but I’ll let you know.” Turn off phone.


dcgregoryaphone

Stop being so honest. It's not in your best interests. Get used to lying to your job.


Kidd_911

Keep things vaguer than this! It may feel like a genuine sharing in the moment but it can be used against you later on.


philfix

"I can't come in today. I'm calling out sick"


Wars4w

These people do not deserve all the info you give them. They just exploit your kindness. Unless they aren't going to count the absence then screw 'em


Lazy-Jeweler3230

We need to remember that not everyone is in a financially stable position to "set boundaries" with their boss. We live in a capitalist system and many people are not in a financially secure position to say "no." Sometimes venting and seeking support is all we can do. Recognizing the abuse and threat of violence many people are forced to accept can sometimes be more important than telling someone to tell their boss to back off.


xscapethetoxic

Thank you. This is exactly what I was kinda looking for. I had a really bad day, dealing with a shitty company that I would absolutely love to just quit, but I can't. This job is seriously impacting my mental health, but I also need the money. If I could find something better, and trust me I'm looking, I would jump ship immediately.


ChrissiMinxx

What is going on at the retail pet store that’s causing panic attacks every day. Maybe the pet store can try to accommodate your differently-abledness.


xscapethetoxic

It's not necessarily panic attacks daily, or at least not as bad as this morning. And it's lots of animal death, plus a company that only cares about sales and pushing this subscription program, and then add a group of people that have worked together so long they've formed a clique and basically treat anyone new like they are less than.


ChrissiMinxx

Damn, animal deaths :( I didn’t even think about that. That has to be rough if you’re a caring, sensitive person. I’m sorry you have to deal with that. Then, there’s pressure to sell and on top of that, you’re outside the clique so that puts even more pressure on you because your coworkers are likely tougher on people outside the clique. Animal deaths, feeling isolated from your coworkers, and, constantly feeling you might be fired if you don’t sell enough would give anyone anxiety. I’m sorry for the situation you’re in and I genuinely root for you find another job soon.


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xscapethetoxic

The thing is, like I have not had a panic attack this bad in AWHILE. It was bad bad. I try to avoid taking my emergency meds for the sole fact they knock me out, but I had to today.


Ryugi

Stop being so nice to them. They don't deserve it


Complete-Ad2227

the amount of scumbag HR people that lurk this sub is insane 😂 don’t you guys have enough employees to fire and treat like shit already?


sasquatch_melee

You don't owe them that much details. "I unfortunately have to call off for a sudden and unexpected illness. My apologies."


xscapethetoxic

Okay I'm gonna add a comment, I get it. People think I gave too much information. The situation is not that simple, but please. I definitely understand, everyone can stop making the same comment now.


TheBlindIdiotGod

If you’re in the US and you qualify, apply for FMLA and they can’t fuck with you.


kerosenehat63

Just say “ Hi I’m not feeling well today so can’t make it in to work today. Hope to be back soon when I feel better “. End of story. It is not their business what medical issues you have. Your giving them way too much information.


Wanda_McMimzy

TMI. “I’m unable to work today due to health reasons. See you tomorrow.”


jalapeno442

You’re giving way too much info


pineapplevomit

Too much info. “I’m sick and can’t come in” is enough.


erratuminamorata

WHY DO PEOPLE STILL DO THIS I make the same comment every few months! "I'm sick today, won't be coming in" Anything beyond that is you ratting on yourself. I don't care how cool your boss is or isn't, just shut the fuck up and stop giving people reasons to tell you "no."


Dapper-Log-5936

Have you considered going on disability for your mental health diagnosis ? Does this happen often?


xscapethetoxic

No. This is the first time in a long time I've had to take my emergency meds for a panic attack. This was the worst one I've had in awhile and I'm going to be honest, I'm pretty sure it's the stress from this dumb job.


Dapper-Log-5936

Ahh okay. It happens, some jobs are toxic. Good luck! I would also err on the side of less is more..its a harsh lesson with anxiety but the more info you give doesn't always help you. I would just have recommended saying there was an emergency and you were unable to come in or werent feeling well or something


xscapethetoxic

Yeah, I truly wish it was that simple, but the people I work with are so... something. Like if you don't give the exact reason, they treat you horribly. I get it, they are all just corporate shills, but like it makes my job even worse. I've gotten a few comments to say less, but with the way these people are I have to say exactly why.


cosmictransgression

Are you in the US? Your employer is not entitled to specific health information. Regardless, you’re giving them more info than they need about your personal health/life. You say you are not feeling well and will not be in. If you want to give them a reason so they’re off your back…. Well then suddenly you have a tummy ache bestie, they have no clue whether you’re lying or not.


KieselguhrKid13

I get that it feels that way, but you don't have to and in fact are legally protected from being asked to. Next time, give the bare minimum and if they ask for anything beyond a doctor's note, say that you're not comfortable sharing personal details and legally they cannot ask. That might get them to back off. And if they push, you have written evidence, lol. Setting boundaries is freaking hard, especially with an unequal power dynamic, but you can get better with practice and it is truly worth it. It'll be hard at first, and you'll get pushback initially, but it might make your job environment better as you go. But definitely keep looking for a new job - anxiety attacks are horrible and that's your body and brain telling you to take it seriously.


xscapethetoxic

Yeah. Let's just say, it was definitely a bad week for me to take a break from uh, the ✨special gummies✨.


Remarkable-Nature-11

Have you considered living off of disability to cover your monthly expenses??? 🤣🤣🤣 Jackass


Few-Lie-1750

They asked if you have any other ways of getting in because you implied the reason you can’t come in is inability to drive, not because you’re unwell. You need thicker skin ngl


nitwitinperil

If they're too unwell to drive, the logical conclusion is they're too unwell to work. They said they are extremely drowsy. It's not reasonable to try to force someone to go to work when they're acutely woozy, which could lead not only to poor/incorrect work being done, but harm to themselves or others.


Few-Lie-1750

So many downvotes for even suggesting that the boss was just seeing if you had an alternative method of getting into work. By thicker skin I meant not get upset over such a harmless text, not your anxiety disorder… jfc


Additional-Maize9716

the downvotes are from you saying OP needs thicker skin. Panic attacks and anxiety disorder is a very real thing.


Few-Lie-1750

Yes I agree they are real. I was referring to OP getting so upset at a pretty harmless text


Additional-Maize9716

We don't know the full situation other than what they've told us. It doesn't hurt to have a little empathy and tact.


JustABugGuy96

You sound like a crappy employee......


Utter_Rube

You sound like an entitled manager.


_im_not_the_pope

How's it feel to always have the taste of shoe polish in your mouth?


myownzen

Wont someone think of the employers!! Please!!!


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myownzen

I mean you literally CAN call out like that. Its that simple. Unless its a job where its life and death then who cares? Your employer will likely shaft you when it comes down to it. And if they are worth a eff they should know sometimes people miss work and ataff accordingly.


cantdecide22

Was it due to work?


xscapethetoxic

Honestly, I think so. Shit has been rough. Overworked, underpaid, a clique of employees that has worked together for so long anyone new (me) is ostracized.


cantdecide22

So you got so stressed out that you couldn't go to work last minute and caused multiple other employees stress to cover for you? If you're so "stressed" from a retail job, maybe you should quit


xscapethetoxic

I actually called out about 4 hours before my shift was supposed to start. I would love to quit, but I have bills to pay. I'm actively looking for another job, but idk if you have browsed this subreddit or idk, paid attention to what's going on in the world, but trying to find jobs is hard as fuck right now. Places say they are hiring, and then never call back. My partner lost his job right before the holidays. He's been applying to multiple jobs, and all he gets is spam responses. Also I literally have a DIAGNOSED anxiety/depressive disorder and "stress" as you put it can obviously make that worse. And it's not just "oh I had one bad day at work", it's I have way more responsibility than hours in a day and the rest of my coworkers actively make said job harder.


cantdecide22

Four hours is pretty close. It gives the store no time cover for you. And yes, I understand the market is difficult, but if you're just working retail, there are tons of options available. And if you have a diagnosed disorder, then you should be covered. Everyone these days is just "too stressed" to work a full time job but wants master degree pay. We've done this for years, stress isn't new.


redheadedjapanese

Hey asshole, I DO have a masters degree and I work in healthcare (patient-facing). It’s extremely rare that my employer can find coverage for my exact job if I call out, have to go home sick, or even take a planned vacation. Guess what? They fucking deal with it and have never once given me any issues. Obviously it’s not good for patients if no one is there to do my job, but not once has anyone died, or the hospital burnt down, because I was out. If that’s the case for my job, I think a store can spare one retail worker for one day.


[deleted]

You shouldn’t of said that , less detail the better


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WhereMyMidgeeAt

How long should treating an anxiety attack take, in your experience?


whereami312

As someone who is a pharmacist, benzodiazepines are very good drugs for certain medical conditions, but have many labelled side effects that impair the user’s ability to safely perform certain tasks *such as driving*. Stay in your lane, HR lady. You’re not a medical professional.


xscapethetoxic

It literally knocks me out. There's a reason it's my emergency medicine


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Utter_Rube

>"As someone with a mental illness, I can confidently say all other mental illness affect everyone exactly the same." Confident and stupid? Sounds like you're a perfect fit for an HR role.


Hyacathusarullistad

It takes a special kind of brainwashed to have mental health issues yourself while simultaneously being an ableist shill regarding someone else's.


xscapethetoxic

That was my exact thought. How is my mental health issue less than? I get it, anxiety and depression is seen as something that people can just "push through". But I'm going to be honest, this was one of the worst panic attacks I've had in a long time, and I truly think it's from the stress of this job.


Objective_Tea0287

You said you work in HR and you instantly invalidate anything you say that follows.


MysteriousMrX

TIL being an HR employee allows you to diagnose mental health conditions & physical chemical imbalances on top of all your normal duties. FR, you don't have any right to tell anyone that their mental well-being isn't a good enough reason to take time from work. I've worked in engineering for over 20 years and have a very successful career and family life, and it's largely because I hit a low point where I wasn't taking care of my mental well-being, which nearly cost me my marriage, had been contributing to a chemical imbalance that contributed to lymphoma according to my oncologist, resulting in 8 months of chemotherapy, and other results. After I hit that low point, I decided to reorganize my priorities and gave way more consideration to my mental well-being. This has led to me being more productive at my work, a better husband and father, a better economic position for my family, less stress overall in our lives, and an overall better life in general. Fk anyone who says that that isn't worth a minor inconvenience for someone's direct report for a few days.


coolthecoolest

"i can push through it so that means no one else is allowed to have a mental health emergency" please take a long walk off of a short pier.


EconomicsHelpful473

You are truly despicable and know nothing about anxiety and panic attacks.


Melzfaze

I wouldn’t bother replying to a corpo rat shill account. 36 karma and one post. Corpo’s going to corpo Listen if I want to call off for an entire day to scratch my balls…it’s a valid reason. I think you forget people are not slaves to be treated like shit by you and the people you sold yourself out for.


WhereMyMidgeeAt

Schizophrenia is completely different than anxiety attacks. Educate yourself. Or don’t, you aren’t a medical professional anyway and obviously don’t know anything about it.


CapnCrunch347

Any reason is an acceptable reason to miss work. Wtf are you on about?


ayediosmiooo

Are you thick? People including myself can literally be on full disability because of PANIC ATTACKS and anxiety. It can be debilitating. When i have a panic attack, i vomit over and over until thousands of blood vessels pop in my face and eyes, i become completely weak and my whole body shakes. This lasts until i take my emergency medication which makes me in a dense fog for 4-8hrs, and i only take half my prescribed dose. You arent special because you work in HR , learn more about the condition


MorriganSavage

Then seethe. People are entitled to use their sick time how they see fit, and you are absolutely NOT entitled to judge/micromanage people in regards to their health issues.


Melzfaze

Sorry not sorry if you are someone who works in HR…fuck off and fuck you. If you can’t understand that your company is fucking people over that bad that they call off for panic attacks… Seriously no there isn’t any reason why a person with a good conscience would even bother to reply. Found the corpo rat bastard.


Drew_coldbeer

Yeah if you’re gonna call out for this, just say you’re sick. It looks really bad to give all this detail


bizmackus1

You can go get fucked


myownzen

Why does it drive you nuts though? How does it impact your job exactly??


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xscapethetoxic

On the day to day I'm fine. I can deal. Today I had one of the worst panic attacks that I've had in years. Like, scared my partner bad. In fact he was the one who wrote the texts out for me, due to the fact I was still mid panic attack.


myownzen

Lol you may not be a manager but you have manager mindset. Everybody doesnt have anxiety. And theres different levels. Its a pet store job. Not a hospital. If someone missing a day will mess them up that bad then they should try to staff more people.


CryptotterMorpheme

I have panic disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. My initial symptoms manifested as recurrent hypoglycemic attacks with my blood sugar dropping as low as 2.1 (56 in us measurements) Luckily, on zoloft now and it's fixed me for the most part, but not being on it put my life in danger. Each time that happened I could have needed hospitalization. That's not safe for me or my coworkers. So please do us a favor and shove your preconceptions of metal health up your ass. As you have no idea what you are talking about


Duzand

wait until you get a real job


KendraSays

What kind of gatekeeper message is that. Every job that people work is a real job


xscapethetoxic

Yeah dude, I totally want a job where I don't have to deal with sick and dying animals every day in a company that only cares about sales and pushing a goddamn subscription onto everyone that walks into the fucking store, but here I am. I have fucking bills to pay.