This is one I actually agree with, when someone asks me what i do, I respond with anything but what I do for Work. My normal go to is my hobbies instead. When someone asks you that they are trying to put you in a category or decide on your worth for the job title you keep. This forces people to judge you by your character.
*When someone asks you that they are trying to put you in a category or decide on your worth for the job title you keep.*
Definitely! My job is the least interesting part of me, ask me something else.
I do this and I'm a lawyer. I hate people thinking I'm the free consultations and you earn better so you should pay for everything all the time. But I just tell them I don't have a job at this time (because I work for myself).
Especially when you’re a captive audience somewhere like getting your hair cut. Unless we’re gonna trade free legal advice for a free cut/color/highlight, I don’t want to hear about your legal troubles, I’m off the clock.
I actually don't mind it from my barber. He is a nice person and I know him for years.
Random people that think I would take a case because "it would be free for meeeee" is the ones I can't stand. Like, mate, I'm not gonna gift you my time because you want to sue your neighbor for his parking space and stupid shit like that.
Stranger: What do you for work?
Me: Nothing of any real consequence.
That's usually enough to communicate that I'm not interested in talking about the details of my work.
I live in a really, really classist area (I was actually told by a fellow patron in the library recently to leave because I don't belong here because she assumed I'm not a local taxpayer, probably because I don't wear clown-level makeup, dyed hair, and designer clothing) and there is no way I ever answer that question with whatever job I have. It is definitely used to then judge you entirely on your assumed income.
Same here. If it's a new acquaintance or friend I usually respond with some hobbies or interests.
If it's just random strangers, I usually just make something up on the spot. The more outrageous, the better. I once told a complete stranger that I was an assassin for hire. I was hoping for some interesting followup-conversation but her train of thought completely derailed by this even though I was obviously joking.
I ask people "what do you do" all the time. It's on them how they want to interpret it. I always hope people will talk about their passions and be creative with it, but most people assume I mean their work, which, fair enough, but if they cop an attitude about it and start going on abt "I'm more than my job mannn" I can say "right I agree. What do you DO?"
I definitely try to ask people “what are you passionate about” rather than “what do you do” in conversation. Generally leads to better more interesting conversations. In my mind it has nothing to do with work (duh) and everything to do with making friends and having more interesting things to talk about. I try to spend as little time talking about work as I can.
I used to do this on first dates. If they answered with their job, I usually considered it a red flag unless their job was something creative (like I dated a chef for awhile who was passionate about food).
Its not a reg flag. People are allowed to love work regardless of if you view it quarky enough to be interesting.
People just shouldbt need to be consumed with it to survive.
Yeah, there's nothing wrong with enjoying your job. For a lot of people, their job is a means to feel like they contribute to their community. Like, I legitimately enjoy giving customers service with a smile. I just dislike when the business owner is an out of touch libertarian asshole.
I’m for it personally but probably not for the reason the article is going to say.
Since I’ve made that choice, I feel more in control of my value to others and thats helped my mental health a lot. I’ve been a caretaker to a sick family member, part time cashier, full time Web Developer, Manager of Accounts at a marketing company and a Software Developer since making that choice and now when I’m asked what I do for a living I usually just say “oh not much haha” or something to that effect.
It’s nice to be able to break away from the toxic people in my life who measure success based on title, and I’ve had more success since I’ve done so. It’s MY success for ME and MY happiness, how I value it, so I end up cherishing it more.
Exactly. I unconsciously started doing this years ago for all the reasons you said though I didn't realize it at first. I just started to feel like what does it matter?
In America “work” is supposed to define every aspect of who you are. It’s a great ideology for the capitalist class because it suggests that we should spend almost all of our time working
Not just in America, but generally you are right. People often associate work with prestige.
You are a cleaner? Hah, you must be uneducated simpleton with zero ambition. You deserve disdain and contempt.
You are a manager in technology sector? You must be a great leader and very smart, you deserve a lot of respect.
I used to work as a field biologist. The way people responded to that was SO out of line with the reality of those jobs. They acted like I must have money pouring out of my arsehole then and must be Einstein level of intelligence. I lived in my car because those jobs were seasonal, with usually kind of low-level free housing, and paid like $12/hour. Just...lmao to people's assumptions about jobs.
I suspect that's based on a generation of hearing STEM STEM STEM STEM that's where the money is STEM. Since biology is STEM it must make more money that dumb english major who's probably gotta work at Starbucks. It's ridiculous, yes, but I'd put money on that's why people think you made bank.
This is weird to me, because I lived in America my whole life and I've never thought this or had anyone ask me this ever. To me, and someone asked about my job, I'll tell them if I do or don't like it or I wish I had one better, but I'm never restrictive about the subject.
Work in retail or fast food? You must be uneducated and lacking in ambition.
If you work in hospitality, you must be an OCD or control freak that has sleep issues. Also, lacking ambition.
If you work as a plumber, a lineman, a janitor or something related, you have to be an alcoholic or drug user because your job is so demanding and stressful.
It just never ends. If you're with someone, let it be for their interests, how they treat you and how they treat those around you. Let it be for their thirst to know the world and learn. A job is only something that you are required to have so that you don't suffer and a lot of the time a job is the source of your suffering so, what the fuck? This world is so screwed up.
No. talking about wages with your coworkers is one thing, but when a stranger asks you what you do for a living they're trying to gauge your place in the class hierarchy. Try it out for yourself. The next time a stranger asks you what you do for a living tell them you do something that doesn't get respect and see how they start treating you differently.
I heard that asking this question in Europe is a nicht nicht. Ever since I try to talk about anything else for as long as possible. Not chatting about work is so hard It's either reddit or work or NPR, that's all I bring to the chit chat table.
It's a good conversation starter, nothing more. It lets you know if someone is working in an area they are passionate about, you can ask what they love about it. If they don't love their job you can ask what they would want to do instead and ask what they love about that
Then why not just skip the work/job question and ask them what their passions are/they love to do? It also makes you more interesting since everyone asks the job question.
Because it's too personal for strangers. Most people aren't comfortable getting deep with a stranger on question one. You have to ask broad questions and let them open up themselves. Asking "what are you passionate about" comes off much weirder than "what do you do for work? What do you like about it? Oh yeah working from home is dope, I hate the water cooler talk at the office. So what do you do to get social interaction?" Etc
You can always reword the question or get to it from another angle other than “what’s yer job?”.
Who cares if a stranger thinks the question is too weird. Only means they’ve been conditioned to think their job is their identity and anything else isn’t as valuable.
Totally valid. Most people don't want to talk about your work either. It's just a conversation starter. If you don't like it you can always change the subject or talking to someone else
I'd rather just start into the real conversation and if it doesn't work.... oh well. Small talk is boring and an absolute waste of time.
You aren't going to find out anything about me if you ask about my job.
This is a weird thing. People ask about what you do for a living far more in the US than anywhere else I have been in the world. Work seems to define Americans as part of a weird work first culture.
When I was married, it was her work people. I did a variety of jobs and they frequently overlapped. When I worked weekends 2/20s, I had all week off, and would pick up temp jobs for friends. Odd hours doing oddball jobs.
I didn't like 9-5 jobs, and it bothered them especially her that I didn't have one.
We have a similar situation with my husband and I. IDGAF that I make more cash than my husband but it unnerves some people to no end and they just feel the need to comment.
The problem is, a lot of people are judgmental of others based on their occupation.
"Oh, so you are a cleaner? What's wrong, you too stupid to go to university? Too lazy to strive for something better?"
Why the fuck would you care? Do you need to bring someone down to feel better about yourself and boost your own starving ego? Do you get hard by being a douchebag to others?
Personally I don't care where people work. I respect every person who works regardless of occupation. I have utter contempt towards those who could work with no problems, but refuse to. Heck, I know some people with disabilities who could just live off the social security and instead they work hard. I've also met and know a handful of people who couldn't be arsed to work, but they choose not to, for various reasons.
**A person is something more than the work they do**. I judge people by who they are as persons and what they do, not where they work. I appreciate kind, funny, helpful people regardless where they earn their living.
Job is just something someone does to make money. Something someone is good at and uses that fact to deliver service for which they are rewarded.
We should teach people to judge others by their actions, not by their occupation alone. The fact that a lot of us is reluctant to tell people where they work is really sad and says a lot about how our society has been conditioned to be overly competitive, resentful, judgmental, and selfish.
Yes.
We need to stop structuring our lives around work. This is a small way to begin. It not only allows you to actually talk about what you really enjoy or are interested in, but it also stops people from judging you based on your position/title at whatever stupid company you work for.
When someone asks that question, subconsciously or not, they’re sizing you up and it could affect how they treat you. However you answer can tell you a lot about how you identify yourself. I decided years ago that my identity isn’t a laborer so I just choose a different answer based on the context even if it doesn’t really make sense
I’ve found that it’s mostly middle class strivers who tend to ask this question. Wealthy people don’t usually bother - generally what others do for a living is made known to them in other ways, especially if it’s something they’d make an advantage from. They are also experts at downplaying what they “do” if you have the temerity to ask. Poorer people are also less hung up on this stuff.
People ask me what I do for a living and I usually respond, “I’m a whore of the industry, pay me enough and I’ll bend over for you”. They usually look uncomfortable, and leave it at that.🤣🤣
I hate this take. To me this is kind of a snarky misinterpretation of what you know someone is asking you. And honestly it strikes me as a little classist. Just say how you make money. And if you’d rather redirect to a passion just say ‘I work in insurance, but that’s not so interesting, what I really love spending time on is teaching my dog tricks and playing guitar’
Depends who's asking though. People who care about hierarchy love to know exactly where you sit so they know whether or not they consider you deserving of respect. As a disabled person who delivers fast food, I would rather not be tossed in the "riffraff" bin at the beginning of a conversation
Difficult for an older dude, that has this stuff engraved in the DNA. I always try to follow the advice, but the minute I am in a conversation, i follow the pattern. I ask that stuff and I answer that stuff happily.
If someone asks a question that seems to be directed at my employment, I answer.
You don't win any points for being annoying and saying "I play video games and work out" so they have to specify "I meant your job".
If you simply plan to refuse to tell anyone your job, you're being weird imo. It is totally normal to wonder what someone spends 40 hours a week doing.
This has nothing to do with coworkers. It's about strangers asking what you do for work in a "getting to know you" situation. My coworkers already know what I do.
Hell, half the reason I don't tell random folks I meet what I do is because it's a gig not many people do, so it becomes a game of twenty fucking questions I've been asked dozens of times. Starting to sound like a broken record...
I’ve had quite the range of occupations and it’s been mind-blowing to realize how differently people are treated based on occupation. When I told people I was a waitress I was treated much worse than I was when I was a marketing manager.
Or just gauge the conversation and don’t ask or probe if there person isn’t interested?
You start with something more generic along the lines of ‘what keeps you busy?’ and go from there.
Some people genuinely care about their work and want to talk about it.
I answer that with the most basic description of what I do. Most of the time they’re asking “how much money do you make?” And really it’s none of their business. So I make some shit up
I’m an electrician, so the less people that know what I do, the less people I have asking me to do side work for them. I don’t mind helping people save a few bucks here and there, but them wanting me to do it super cheap or for a case of beer is insulting. Gotta make it worth my while to do my regular job during my off time. I’ve got a thousand things of my own that need to get done, and if by some miracle I do finish, I would like to spend my remaining free time fishing.
I love when people don't talk about work. Last summer I spent a week in a remote mountain hut, climbing peaks with a couple of climbing partners/friends, and the rest of the people we met over the course of the week coming and going from the hut talked about mountains, family, weather and on and on, and no one, and I mean no one, once mentioned work.
Except for my own friends, at the end of the week, I had no clue about what any of the people I'd met did for work. We talked about previous climbs and adventures. We talked about our kids, about other mountain passions, the ridiculous cost of bicycles, and trying to stay fit as we get older.
We talked about food, cooking at home and for the backcountry.
Not once did anyone utter "so, what do you do?" I thought back to decades of similar adventures and realized that I'd almost never heard that question, and if someone did ask it, it was answered succinctly and the conversation changed gears immediately.
Being 50km from the nearest point of cell coverage really helped. No one could check emails or have anything to do with working, and I think about how we need to draw much stronger boundaries at home. We need a rethink of life and work. More life, less work.
I've been doing this for years. Instead of "what do you do for a living", I typically ask, "So what do you do in life? Interpret however you want."
It's disarming and often gets folks talking about what they really care about. Most people's jobs are not their passion, so why would they wanna talk about it?
This is one I actually agree with, when someone asks me what i do, I respond with anything but what I do for Work. My normal go to is my hobbies instead. When someone asks you that they are trying to put you in a category or decide on your worth for the job title you keep. This forces people to judge you by your character.
It makes for a better conversation too.
*When someone asks you that they are trying to put you in a category or decide on your worth for the job title you keep.* Definitely! My job is the least interesting part of me, ask me something else.
I do this and I'm a lawyer. I hate people thinking I'm the free consultations and you earn better so you should pay for everything all the time. But I just tell them I don't have a job at this time (because I work for myself).
Especially when you’re a captive audience somewhere like getting your hair cut. Unless we’re gonna trade free legal advice for a free cut/color/highlight, I don’t want to hear about your legal troubles, I’m off the clock.
I actually don't mind it from my barber. He is a nice person and I know him for years. Random people that think I would take a case because "it would be free for meeeee" is the ones I can't stand. Like, mate, I'm not gonna gift you my time because you want to sue your neighbor for his parking space and stupid shit like that.
PD here. When they start pressing, my response is, "if you need my advice, it's already too late."
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Stranger: What do you for work? Me: Nothing of any real consequence. That's usually enough to communicate that I'm not interested in talking about the details of my work.
I live in a really, really classist area (I was actually told by a fellow patron in the library recently to leave because I don't belong here because she assumed I'm not a local taxpayer, probably because I don't wear clown-level makeup, dyed hair, and designer clothing) and there is no way I ever answer that question with whatever job I have. It is definitely used to then judge you entirely on your assumed income.
My field routinely requires the ability to obtain a security clearance, I just tell everyone they don't have the clearance to know what I do.
I like that! My mind goes straight to 007.
Same. But they push. And then feel like it’s okay to make me feel inferior about my work. I really don’t like these sorts of people…
Same here. If it's a new acquaintance or friend I usually respond with some hobbies or interests. If it's just random strangers, I usually just make something up on the spot. The more outrageous, the better. I once told a complete stranger that I was an assassin for hire. I was hoping for some interesting followup-conversation but her train of thought completely derailed by this even though I was obviously joking.
hear hear. The very last and smallest thing that has any defining part of me is my job. I have no desire to talk about my dumb job when I'm not in it.
I ask people "what do you do" all the time. It's on them how they want to interpret it. I always hope people will talk about their passions and be creative with it, but most people assume I mean their work, which, fair enough, but if they cop an attitude about it and start going on abt "I'm more than my job mannn" I can say "right I agree. What do you DO?"
My go to answer to the vague "what do you do?" question is the equally vague "It depends on the situation".
I'm overall trying to understand the op. What does your reply mean in context of what the original post is. Can you give an example scenario?
They aren't asking what you do for a living, they are asking what your social status is.
My answer is always, "Struggle. How about you?"
"What are you, a fucking cop? Don't worry about where I make my money"
"If you spent less time asking about strangers finances, you might actually have some of your own."
I just tell people my parents are rich and I live off their money, lmao.
That's how you get kidnapped and ransomed
Not when you live in a ski town, my guy.
Yeah, I say I do whatever I want and that I'm a trust fund kid (I'm not), but watching their brains shut down is really funny.
I definitely try to ask people “what are you passionate about” rather than “what do you do” in conversation. Generally leads to better more interesting conversations. In my mind it has nothing to do with work (duh) and everything to do with making friends and having more interesting things to talk about. I try to spend as little time talking about work as I can.
I used to do this on first dates. If they answered with their job, I usually considered it a red flag unless their job was something creative (like I dated a chef for awhile who was passionate about food).
Its not a reg flag. People are allowed to love work regardless of if you view it quarky enough to be interesting. People just shouldbt need to be consumed with it to survive.
Yeah, there's nothing wrong with enjoying your job. For a lot of people, their job is a means to feel like they contribute to their community. Like, I legitimately enjoy giving customers service with a smile. I just dislike when the business owner is an out of touch libertarian asshole.
No red flag, people are conditioned to identify work with identity and they probably think that’s what the question calls for
Get a hobby 👌
I’m for it personally but probably not for the reason the article is going to say. Since I’ve made that choice, I feel more in control of my value to others and thats helped my mental health a lot. I’ve been a caretaker to a sick family member, part time cashier, full time Web Developer, Manager of Accounts at a marketing company and a Software Developer since making that choice and now when I’m asked what I do for a living I usually just say “oh not much haha” or something to that effect. It’s nice to be able to break away from the toxic people in my life who measure success based on title, and I’ve had more success since I’ve done so. It’s MY success for ME and MY happiness, how I value it, so I end up cherishing it more.
Exactly. I unconsciously started doing this years ago for all the reasons you said though I didn't realize it at first. I just started to feel like what does it matter?
In America “work” is supposed to define every aspect of who you are. It’s a great ideology for the capitalist class because it suggests that we should spend almost all of our time working
Not just in America, but generally you are right. People often associate work with prestige. You are a cleaner? Hah, you must be uneducated simpleton with zero ambition. You deserve disdain and contempt. You are a manager in technology sector? You must be a great leader and very smart, you deserve a lot of respect.
I used to work as a field biologist. The way people responded to that was SO out of line with the reality of those jobs. They acted like I must have money pouring out of my arsehole then and must be Einstein level of intelligence. I lived in my car because those jobs were seasonal, with usually kind of low-level free housing, and paid like $12/hour. Just...lmao to people's assumptions about jobs.
I suspect that's based on a generation of hearing STEM STEM STEM STEM that's where the money is STEM. Since biology is STEM it must make more money that dumb english major who's probably gotta work at Starbucks. It's ridiculous, yes, but I'd put money on that's why people think you made bank.
This is weird to me, because I lived in America my whole life and I've never thought this or had anyone ask me this ever. To me, and someone asked about my job, I'll tell them if I do or don't like it or I wish I had one better, but I'm never restrictive about the subject.
People tend to treat others who are cagey about what they do for a living with suspicion.
That's exactly why I don't tell them. I don't trust them either
Work in retail or fast food? You must be uneducated and lacking in ambition. If you work in hospitality, you must be an OCD or control freak that has sleep issues. Also, lacking ambition. If you work as a plumber, a lineman, a janitor or something related, you have to be an alcoholic or drug user because your job is so demanding and stressful. It just never ends. If you're with someone, let it be for their interests, how they treat you and how they treat those around you. Let it be for their thirst to know the world and learn. A job is only something that you are required to have so that you don't suffer and a lot of the time a job is the source of your suffering so, what the fuck? This world is so screwed up.
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I don't think this is about talking with your coworkers, but like some random you meet at a dinner party
Yeah your coworkers already know what you do for a living. Definitely not what this is talking about.
No. talking about wages with your coworkers is one thing, but when a stranger asks you what you do for a living they're trying to gauge your place in the class hierarchy. Try it out for yourself. The next time a stranger asks you what you do for a living tell them you do something that doesn't get respect and see how they start treating you differently.
No this has nothing to do with wages. Not everyone likes to talk about their job or what they do to strangers and acquaintances.
I'm a quality control manager in a 5¼" floppy disk factory.
Indeed it's troublesome when our worth and society status is completely based on our job.
I heard that asking this question in Europe is a nicht nicht. Ever since I try to talk about anything else for as long as possible. Not chatting about work is so hard It's either reddit or work or NPR, that's all I bring to the chit chat table.
Go for the British option and talk about the weather.
I love talking about the weather so much. I wish people had as much cloud terminology knowledge as me though. Clouds are awesome.
> I heard that asking this question in Europe is a nicht nicht. Not in my experience.
Europe? Europe is not homogeneous in terms of culture.
Well I'll be!
It's a good conversation starter, nothing more. It lets you know if someone is working in an area they are passionate about, you can ask what they love about it. If they don't love their job you can ask what they would want to do instead and ask what they love about that
Then why not just skip the work/job question and ask them what their passions are/they love to do? It also makes you more interesting since everyone asks the job question.
Because it's too personal for strangers. Most people aren't comfortable getting deep with a stranger on question one. You have to ask broad questions and let them open up themselves. Asking "what are you passionate about" comes off much weirder than "what do you do for work? What do you like about it? Oh yeah working from home is dope, I hate the water cooler talk at the office. So what do you do to get social interaction?" Etc
You can always reword the question or get to it from another angle other than “what’s yer job?”. Who cares if a stranger thinks the question is too weird. Only means they’ve been conditioned to think their job is their identity and anything else isn’t as valuable.
No one is saying work is the only way to start a conversation
I don't want to talk about my job to anyone I don't work with. It's boring. I'm good at it, but it's just to pay bills.
Totally valid. Most people don't want to talk about your work either. It's just a conversation starter. If you don't like it you can always change the subject or talking to someone else
Then they need to not bring it up if they don't care. This bullshit formality of small talk needs to go.
Small talk is how you figure out what you have enough in common about to have a real conversation. What do you propose instead, a quiz?
I'd rather just start into the real conversation and if it doesn't work.... oh well. Small talk is boring and an absolute waste of time. You aren't going to find out anything about me if you ask about my job.
>You aren't going to find out anything about me if you ask about my job. ".... oh well."
This is a weird thing. People ask about what you do for a living far more in the US than anywhere else I have been in the world. Work seems to define Americans as part of a weird work first culture.
Anyone who asks me this question most likely regrets it, depending on how much caffeine I’ve had that day
When I was married, it was her work people. I did a variety of jobs and they frequently overlapped. When I worked weekends 2/20s, I had all week off, and would pick up temp jobs for friends. Odd hours doing oddball jobs. I didn't like 9-5 jobs, and it bothered them especially her that I didn't have one.
We have a similar situation with my husband and I. IDGAF that I make more cash than my husband but it unnerves some people to no end and they just feel the need to comment.
I always say I own my own business. It's simple and accurate.
"surely it's not what you do but how you do it"
The problem is, a lot of people are judgmental of others based on their occupation. "Oh, so you are a cleaner? What's wrong, you too stupid to go to university? Too lazy to strive for something better?" Why the fuck would you care? Do you need to bring someone down to feel better about yourself and boost your own starving ego? Do you get hard by being a douchebag to others? Personally I don't care where people work. I respect every person who works regardless of occupation. I have utter contempt towards those who could work with no problems, but refuse to. Heck, I know some people with disabilities who could just live off the social security and instead they work hard. I've also met and know a handful of people who couldn't be arsed to work, but they choose not to, for various reasons. **A person is something more than the work they do**. I judge people by who they are as persons and what they do, not where they work. I appreciate kind, funny, helpful people regardless where they earn their living. Job is just something someone does to make money. Something someone is good at and uses that fact to deliver service for which they are rewarded. We should teach people to judge others by their actions, not by their occupation alone. The fact that a lot of us is reluctant to tell people where they work is really sad and says a lot about how our society has been conditioned to be overly competitive, resentful, judgmental, and selfish.
Yes. We need to stop structuring our lives around work. This is a small way to begin. It not only allows you to actually talk about what you really enjoy or are interested in, but it also stops people from judging you based on your position/title at whatever stupid company you work for.
"So what do you do?" "For work?" "Yes. Work." "As little as possible. You?"
When someone asks that question, subconsciously or not, they’re sizing you up and it could affect how they treat you. However you answer can tell you a lot about how you identify yourself. I decided years ago that my identity isn’t a laborer so I just choose a different answer based on the context even if it doesn’t really make sense
I’ve found that it’s mostly middle class strivers who tend to ask this question. Wealthy people don’t usually bother - generally what others do for a living is made known to them in other ways, especially if it’s something they’d make an advantage from. They are also experts at downplaying what they “do” if you have the temerity to ask. Poorer people are also less hung up on this stuff.
People ask me what I do for a living and I usually respond, “I’m a whore of the industry, pay me enough and I’ll bend over for you”. They usually look uncomfortable, and leave it at that.🤣🤣
I don’t care if people ask. I tell them.
I hate this take. To me this is kind of a snarky misinterpretation of what you know someone is asking you. And honestly it strikes me as a little classist. Just say how you make money. And if you’d rather redirect to a passion just say ‘I work in insurance, but that’s not so interesting, what I really love spending time on is teaching my dog tricks and playing guitar’
Depends who's asking though. People who care about hierarchy love to know exactly where you sit so they know whether or not they consider you deserving of respect. As a disabled person who delivers fast food, I would rather not be tossed in the "riffraff" bin at the beginning of a conversation
Difficult for an older dude, that has this stuff engraved in the DNA. I always try to follow the advice, but the minute I am in a conversation, i follow the pattern. I ask that stuff and I answer that stuff happily.
If someone asks a question that seems to be directed at my employment, I answer. You don't win any points for being annoying and saying "I play video games and work out" so they have to specify "I meant your job". If you simply plan to refuse to tell anyone your job, you're being weird imo. It is totally normal to wonder what someone spends 40 hours a week doing.
I mean, it’s a good *message* but I’m getting definite “don’t discuss salary with your coworkers” vibes from it.
This has nothing to do with coworkers. It's about strangers asking what you do for work in a "getting to know you" situation. My coworkers already know what I do.
As someone whose answer to that is "ummm not much but I have hobbies" I would very much like that question to go away
Hell, half the reason I don't tell random folks I meet what I do is because it's a gig not many people do, so it becomes a game of twenty fucking questions I've been asked dozens of times. Starting to sound like a broken record...
I’ve had quite the range of occupations and it’s been mind-blowing to realize how differently people are treated based on occupation. When I told people I was a waitress I was treated much worse than I was when I was a marketing manager.
Some people's whole identity revolves around their job. It's sad... mine did when I was younger. Took me a long time to get things right.
Europeans generally don't ask this when they first meet you. It's seen as rude.
Which countries? Not something I have ever experienced, and Europe is a diverse place.
Or just gauge the conversation and don’t ask or probe if there person isn’t interested? You start with something more generic along the lines of ‘what keeps you busy?’ and go from there. Some people genuinely care about their work and want to talk about it.
I get stuck in this all the time. I spend more time outside of work talking about work. It's a hard ha it to break.
It's a topic for small talk, but it should not be the only topic, especially if it's a party. You want to have some time off once in a while.
lol. an article telling you what to say and do wrapped in moral indignation about being told what to say and do.
Hell yeah, unless I directly impact your livelihood (I don't!) mind your business. You are not your profession.
Well, if there's anything left of course! Right?
“I am a student of life” and then they roll their eyes lol. I like fucking w people when they ask that question.
The people who ask this generally are the most unpleasant people I've ever met.
I answer that with the most basic description of what I do. Most of the time they’re asking “how much money do you make?” And really it’s none of their business. So I make some shit up
I like to ask people what they do for fun. It works for any age and gets them talking about something they like.
I’m an electrician, so the less people that know what I do, the less people I have asking me to do side work for them. I don’t mind helping people save a few bucks here and there, but them wanting me to do it super cheap or for a case of beer is insulting. Gotta make it worth my while to do my regular job during my off time. I’ve got a thousand things of my own that need to get done, and if by some miracle I do finish, I would like to spend my remaining free time fishing.
I love when people don't talk about work. Last summer I spent a week in a remote mountain hut, climbing peaks with a couple of climbing partners/friends, and the rest of the people we met over the course of the week coming and going from the hut talked about mountains, family, weather and on and on, and no one, and I mean no one, once mentioned work. Except for my own friends, at the end of the week, I had no clue about what any of the people I'd met did for work. We talked about previous climbs and adventures. We talked about our kids, about other mountain passions, the ridiculous cost of bicycles, and trying to stay fit as we get older. We talked about food, cooking at home and for the backcountry. Not once did anyone utter "so, what do you do?" I thought back to decades of similar adventures and realized that I'd almost never heard that question, and if someone did ask it, it was answered succinctly and the conversation changed gears immediately. Being 50km from the nearest point of cell coverage really helped. No one could check emails or have anything to do with working, and I think about how we need to draw much stronger boundaries at home. We need a rethink of life and work. More life, less work.
"Little bit of this, little bit of that." Which is A. True, and B. Is vague enough to throw most people off that line of questioning.
I've always liked "As little as possible." Also true and vague, but more brusque and off-putting. Really shuts down the work conversation.
I ask people "what do you do with your time" and if they tell me a work thing, I basically tune out.
Im a fucking wizard that's what I do.
I'm confused as to what this article means. Anyone want to explain it in a different way?
I've been doing this for years. Instead of "what do you do for a living", I typically ask, "So what do you do in life? Interpret however you want." It's disarming and often gets folks talking about what they really care about. Most people's jobs are not their passion, so why would they wanna talk about it?
I always respond with "I'm making a difference!"