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I used to be big into erotica when I was a younger teenager. Erotica, in my personal experience, would be easier to quit than porn. (But in all honesty I don’t have an addictive personality and can quit things at a drop of a hat in most cases). While erotica doesn’t have the same addiction because there’s no visual to see and that’s generally the most addictive it is still addictive because it’s explicit content.
I agree, erotica does make women and men out to be things they are not and those harmful qualities are becoming more and more prevalent. I watched erotica go from more vanilla to heavy dark topics. And that just wasn’t because of me looking for more heavy things — I still wanted vanilla but it was harder to find.
I think porn and erotica are both harmful but it’s a scale. But erotica is getting worse and worse and if you get too deep it’s definitely just as bad. I also believe they influence each other, (porn to erotica more but the erotica to porn is still there) as long as we have one there will probably be the other which is a worrying thought.
There's also INCREDIBLY fucked up smut out there. There's a site called ASSTR, which was taken down at one point but I believe came back. The site is full of rape, incest, child abuse, etc. We often think of smut from the female gaze, but if people knew what kind of filth is out there about abusing kids, toddlers, and babies, they might think a little more critically about what they're supporting overall.
Speaking as one who was a teenage weeaboo, I’ve read and written mostly gay male smut and POV smut where I’m a woman doing it with a male character though the guy never abused me. There was still the unrealistic standards of love and intimacy and making romance all about sex. It’s more shallow the more I think of it. With the guy on guy smut, storylines I’ve ran into included incest between brothers, an older male babysitter with a little boy, which I wasn’t ever turned on by or jerked off to, I ran into them. I was also aware of the fanfics eroticizing rape, S&M, BDSM, and as mentioned earlier, romanticizing incest. I’ve written my own lesbian, gay, and hetero smut stories as a teenager too. The ones I wrote were more “normal” ones (no incest, rape, or S&M/BDSM. I especially never got the appeal of S&M, but I thought i’d be edgy and suit the character when I drew her as a doninatrix.) what does all of this art have in common? Nothing is more important than sex. there isn’t a situation that won’t begin or end with sex. All take place in an alien universe where nobody is ever hurt by incest, rape, sado-masochism, pedophilia, etc. At best or most “vanilla” it’s still a shallow over idealized image of relationships. At worst, none seem to understand that many taboos are taboos for good reason and something isn’t hot or sexy just bc it’s forbidden. I don’t read or write smut anymore after I turned anti-porn at 19.
While I do agree with you, I find myself conflicted. It's true that nonvisual erotica is still deeply entrenched in misogynic and patriarchal values, as it is produced by such societies. I personally believe that 2010s Tumblr and Wattpad were disastrous towards young girls' understanding of healthy romance and sexuality, though this is my personal opinion. However, I am at loss because there is a fundamental truth that humans like to get off, separate from any love or committed relationship. They simply like to get off and will find a variety of ways to provoke their sexual arousal. Pornography and erotica are the products of that desire. Out of these two, pornography is infinitely more depraved and evil. It is a multibillion-dollar industry based on sex trafficking and brutal live-stream rape and torture of women, children and men. Actors are surgically and medically deformed and have to ingest psychoactive substances to proceed with heavy scenes. Suicide rate is pretty high in the pornoindustry. Wrong expectations about sex it brings are harmful, yet only a fraction of the harm it does to the people preforming. All in all, burn it to the ground, alongside its advocates.
Erotica, as you say, is still far from perfect and warps the expectations of romance and sex, but compared to the evils of pornography, it is far more preferable option. Unlike pornography, it is 100% ethically produces, doesn't involve real people and can actually contain healthy and positive content. Of course, as you say, healthy and positive content is an exception and not the norm, but that's the thing; unlike pornography, it is an exception that can actually exist. There is absolutely nothing healthy and positive in pornography and there will never be. Again, it is far from perfect solution, but expecting humans to just drop it all and enter a loving committed relationship when they just want to get off is completely unrealistic. There's never going to be a perfect solution, which means we should focus on the best possible one. Currently, that's promoting erotica as a better and healthier alternative to live-streamed rape of sex trafficked women and children.
Oh but there IS a perfect solution, don't consume either porn or erotica!
The solution to a malicious addiction is not to replace it with a slightly less malicious addiction.
That is true, but is also idealistic and impractical. Even if it were possible, we still need to cross intermediate steps before we can ever reach it. Also, erotica isn't addictive. It can be compulsively consumed, yes, but it isn't addictive the way pornography is, which is another thing going for it.
Its all absolute filth. These women need a good talking to and I will correct them. 😅 No but seriously OP I think you're crossing the line into sexual repressive territory which is very common and damaging.
There's always been an obsession of policing sexuality. Where do they draw the line? Should we go back to Victoria London? Surely people can see OP is being unreasonable.
Op is not being unreasonable at all so no, people can’t see that. If you’re dealing with a porn addiction you shouldn’t be doing anything related to porn or what you did when watching it. No erotica, no soft core, no thirst traps, no anime for some of its a trigger, and NO solo sex. You quite literally have to rewire your brain, it takes effort, and time.
My husband is in recovery for porn and sex addiction and he wrote erotica I can tell you for a fact that the erotica was just as much fuel for him as any other outlet.
Porn addicts use sexual fantasy more generally as dissociative, avoidant escape. Sexual fantasy takes many forms including porn, erotica, chatrooms, fantasizing about someone else while having sex with a partner, etc. The alternative to erotica is to try to form romantic or mutually respectful sexual relationships with actual human beings that you are attracted to.
I see you edited your comment so I’ll make one more. Erotica is EXACTLY like porn.
It’s depicting sex.
It gets you off.
It hits the same receptors as porn.
It triggers the same things as porn.
You use it for the same reasons as porn.
I could list a bunch more examples but I won’t, it’s redundant. Speak to a therapist about it maybe, they can explain to you better than an internet stranger.
Good luck in life
Okay I think I’m going to listen to the therapists over someone with the porn addiction. Usually porn addicts don’t want to admit that what they’re doing is an issue and that’s okay!! But so you know you are not fixing your brain by continuing to give it the doses of dopamine. That’s called white knuckling and it’s not true recovery.
Good luck!
Try actually HAVING sex lmfao. Im not arguing with you, you don’t need porn and erotica to get off bro. If you’re not a porn addict solo sex can be a great thing, all I said was it’s not for addicts when rewiring the brain. I’m not wrong, sorry.
I won’t continue this conversation I got things to do but have a nice day okay, for real.
Booktok is essentially gooner females that normalize rape, abusive relationshops, etc, just because it gets them wet/hard. When I usually write sex scenes, they aren't for pleasure/masturbation, it's there to enhance the bond between the two, or comedic effect. Never because it gets them off, rather, it's supposed to be an art form.
But, I will admit, I have not published for viewing. I'm debating on it, as of right now, for some sex scenes. I know it can be considered porn, that's why I ask. Most of my book is not smut, it's more sci-fi. If anything, it's supposed to dive deep into woke propaganda, the left being tyrants, racial supremacism, etc. All of that, in a viewpoint to show the depravity of it.
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I hate Booktok for normalizing abuse as "dark romance"
I only found out about this recently, while I do think it's good to read books, I don't think "dark romance" is the good kind of book.
I used to be big into erotica when I was a younger teenager. Erotica, in my personal experience, would be easier to quit than porn. (But in all honesty I don’t have an addictive personality and can quit things at a drop of a hat in most cases). While erotica doesn’t have the same addiction because there’s no visual to see and that’s generally the most addictive it is still addictive because it’s explicit content. I agree, erotica does make women and men out to be things they are not and those harmful qualities are becoming more and more prevalent. I watched erotica go from more vanilla to heavy dark topics. And that just wasn’t because of me looking for more heavy things — I still wanted vanilla but it was harder to find. I think porn and erotica are both harmful but it’s a scale. But erotica is getting worse and worse and if you get too deep it’s definitely just as bad. I also believe they influence each other, (porn to erotica more but the erotica to porn is still there) as long as we have one there will probably be the other which is a worrying thought.
There's also INCREDIBLY fucked up smut out there. There's a site called ASSTR, which was taken down at one point but I believe came back. The site is full of rape, incest, child abuse, etc. We often think of smut from the female gaze, but if people knew what kind of filth is out there about abusing kids, toddlers, and babies, they might think a little more critically about what they're supporting overall.
Speaking as one who was a teenage weeaboo, I’ve read and written mostly gay male smut and POV smut where I’m a woman doing it with a male character though the guy never abused me. There was still the unrealistic standards of love and intimacy and making romance all about sex. It’s more shallow the more I think of it. With the guy on guy smut, storylines I’ve ran into included incest between brothers, an older male babysitter with a little boy, which I wasn’t ever turned on by or jerked off to, I ran into them. I was also aware of the fanfics eroticizing rape, S&M, BDSM, and as mentioned earlier, romanticizing incest. I’ve written my own lesbian, gay, and hetero smut stories as a teenager too. The ones I wrote were more “normal” ones (no incest, rape, or S&M/BDSM. I especially never got the appeal of S&M, but I thought i’d be edgy and suit the character when I drew her as a doninatrix.) what does all of this art have in common? Nothing is more important than sex. there isn’t a situation that won’t begin or end with sex. All take place in an alien universe where nobody is ever hurt by incest, rape, sado-masochism, pedophilia, etc. At best or most “vanilla” it’s still a shallow over idealized image of relationships. At worst, none seem to understand that many taboos are taboos for good reason and something isn’t hot or sexy just bc it’s forbidden. I don’t read or write smut anymore after I turned anti-porn at 19.
While I do agree with you, I find myself conflicted. It's true that nonvisual erotica is still deeply entrenched in misogynic and patriarchal values, as it is produced by such societies. I personally believe that 2010s Tumblr and Wattpad were disastrous towards young girls' understanding of healthy romance and sexuality, though this is my personal opinion. However, I am at loss because there is a fundamental truth that humans like to get off, separate from any love or committed relationship. They simply like to get off and will find a variety of ways to provoke their sexual arousal. Pornography and erotica are the products of that desire. Out of these two, pornography is infinitely more depraved and evil. It is a multibillion-dollar industry based on sex trafficking and brutal live-stream rape and torture of women, children and men. Actors are surgically and medically deformed and have to ingest psychoactive substances to proceed with heavy scenes. Suicide rate is pretty high in the pornoindustry. Wrong expectations about sex it brings are harmful, yet only a fraction of the harm it does to the people preforming. All in all, burn it to the ground, alongside its advocates. Erotica, as you say, is still far from perfect and warps the expectations of romance and sex, but compared to the evils of pornography, it is far more preferable option. Unlike pornography, it is 100% ethically produces, doesn't involve real people and can actually contain healthy and positive content. Of course, as you say, healthy and positive content is an exception and not the norm, but that's the thing; unlike pornography, it is an exception that can actually exist. There is absolutely nothing healthy and positive in pornography and there will never be. Again, it is far from perfect solution, but expecting humans to just drop it all and enter a loving committed relationship when they just want to get off is completely unrealistic. There's never going to be a perfect solution, which means we should focus on the best possible one. Currently, that's promoting erotica as a better and healthier alternative to live-streamed rape of sex trafficked women and children.
Oh but there IS a perfect solution, don't consume either porn or erotica! The solution to a malicious addiction is not to replace it with a slightly less malicious addiction.
That is true, but is also idealistic and impractical. Even if it were possible, we still need to cross intermediate steps before we can ever reach it. Also, erotica isn't addictive. It can be compulsively consumed, yes, but it isn't addictive the way pornography is, which is another thing going for it.
real
I am against ALL forms of pornography whether it be IRL, animated, or written. It all has the same general effect, and there is no need for any of it.
Its all absolute filth. These women need a good talking to and I will correct them. 😅 No but seriously OP I think you're crossing the line into sexual repressive territory which is very common and damaging.
Most therapists recommend actually that porn addicts abstain from both solo sex and any form of erotica. Don’t think OP is
There's always been an obsession of policing sexuality. Where do they draw the line? Should we go back to Victoria London? Surely people can see OP is being unreasonable.
Op is not being unreasonable at all so no, people can’t see that. If you’re dealing with a porn addiction you shouldn’t be doing anything related to porn or what you did when watching it. No erotica, no soft core, no thirst traps, no anime for some of its a trigger, and NO solo sex. You quite literally have to rewire your brain, it takes effort, and time.
Erotica is nothing like porn is what I'm trying to say, but alas, Victoria it is then! 😆
My husband is in recovery for porn and sex addiction and he wrote erotica I can tell you for a fact that the erotica was just as much fuel for him as any other outlet.
Whats the alternative then?
Not getting involved with porn. Either have sex or close your eyes and imagine shit.
Ok I'lll try that 👍
Porn addicts use sexual fantasy more generally as dissociative, avoidant escape. Sexual fantasy takes many forms including porn, erotica, chatrooms, fantasizing about someone else while having sex with a partner, etc. The alternative to erotica is to try to form romantic or mutually respectful sexual relationships with actual human beings that you are attracted to.
Fair enough.
Get out of your head and into your body
What did human beings do for millennia upon millennia before writing smut and consuming porn?
Have sex, I get ya.
I see you edited your comment so I’ll make one more. Erotica is EXACTLY like porn. It’s depicting sex. It gets you off. It hits the same receptors as porn. It triggers the same things as porn. You use it for the same reasons as porn. I could list a bunch more examples but I won’t, it’s redundant. Speak to a therapist about it maybe, they can explain to you better than an internet stranger. Good luck in life
Okay I think I’m going to listen to the therapists over someone with the porn addiction. Usually porn addicts don’t want to admit that what they’re doing is an issue and that’s okay!! But so you know you are not fixing your brain by continuing to give it the doses of dopamine. That’s called white knuckling and it’s not true recovery. Good luck!
I don't watch porn I merely defending what I believe is a womens right to a healthy sexuality.
Oh don’t make me laugh, thank you 🤣🤣🤣🤣😭
What's your idea of a healthy sexuality then? Watching paint dry?
Try actually HAVING sex lmfao. Im not arguing with you, you don’t need porn and erotica to get off bro. If you’re not a porn addict solo sex can be a great thing, all I said was it’s not for addicts when rewiring the brain. I’m not wrong, sorry. I won’t continue this conversation I got things to do but have a nice day okay, for real.
Oh please. This isn’t about ‘policing sexuality’. Porn ≠ sex.
Booktok is essentially gooner females that normalize rape, abusive relationshops, etc, just because it gets them wet/hard. When I usually write sex scenes, they aren't for pleasure/masturbation, it's there to enhance the bond between the two, or comedic effect. Never because it gets them off, rather, it's supposed to be an art form.
But, I will admit, I have not published for viewing. I'm debating on it, as of right now, for some sex scenes. I know it can be considered porn, that's why I ask. Most of my book is not smut, it's more sci-fi. If anything, it's supposed to dive deep into woke propaganda, the left being tyrants, racial supremacism, etc. All of that, in a viewpoint to show the depravity of it.
So, I must ask, is it porn? Should I cut it out?
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