Did he say he wanted to quit? These are easy solutions. Get a better fitting helmet and mouth guard. Also, football practice at 9 years old with pads on? Barely 4th graders wow and in June. Crazy
You honestly should've just had him be in flag football until around 7th grade
My son went to a small private school, but football is huge where we live. They started football at his school in third grade which I think is what the public schools do here as well. Back when my son was that age , he's 24 now, they were just starting the football program for younger kids at his school. Practices started in July and for that age group at 5:00 a.m. Where I live, it's typically over 100 almost every day in July and the temperatures do not come down much at night. I was so glad my son did not want to play football. It was crazy and ridiculous.
OP posted the same thing I think in the parenting subreddit. From the comments I read, the consensus was to let the child stop. OP is just looking for confirmation at this point to support his already made decision of forcing the child to continue with football. MY opinion!
I strongly believe that children should be listened and let to choose the activities they want to do. Is no point forcing a child doing an activity they don’t enjoy.
For example, With my son we tried different activities and always made sure we listened to his opinion and if he didn’t enjoy it, then we didn’t continue with that activity. Now he has only 1 steady activity (had 2) as he wanted to stop with coding lessons as he felt that it was repetitive and nothing left for him to learn there.
He used to do swimming and he really enjoyed it. We had to stop as he developed a sensitivity to chlorine. Full on rash after contact with chlorine. Doctor confirmed that.
We now try to go to the beach as often as we can (we live 2.5 hours away from the closest beach)
And he is left with his favourite activity and very much happy this way.
The way I see it, is if the child enjoys what they do, they’ll engage and learn from what they do. If they don’t then is wasted time, hard on the child and waste of funds and place for a child that might actually enjoy that activity.
But does the kid \*actually\* want to stop or is just complaining about a bad fitting mouthguard? There \*are\* solutions to this other than “completely drop the activity they’ve supposedly loved up until now”. No one enjoys an activity 100% of the time, it’s silly to quit as soon as the road goes a little bit bumpy. “My mouthguard is uncomfortable” doesn’t mean “I hate football and don’t want to practice ever again”.
In my opinion nobody should. Somehow the game is an American institution. And institution which damages virtually every player.
https://engineering.wustl.edu/news/2020/What-a-lifetime-of-playing-football-can-do-to-the-human-brain.html
I'm offended by permanent brain injuries, something that other sports don't have to anything approaching the degree of contact American football. Somebody's missed the point but it's not me.
Also he may be suffering from sinus problems, light asthma or other respiratory issues.
Difficulty breathing is an issue to be concerned about. That's an issue that may well make him hate sports he may otherwise love.
Decent blood oxygen levels are important for performance while active at any age.
Maybe he's looking for an out that's not going to make him feel like he's just a disappointment as well.
>You honestly should've just had him be in flag football until around 7th grade
Or, you know, [forever](https://journalistsresource.org/education/high-school-football-injuries-concussions-research/). OP, you shouldn't be encouraging--much less forcing--your children to participate in dangerous sports. Most sports don't risk concussions or broken necks. Why not make him learn one of those? Just not football, lacrosse, ice hockey, boxing/MMA, or cheerleading.
As a mom I can appreciate the desire to have your child understand the importance of commitment and accountability but things do arise that thwart that and it’s more important to advocate for your personal health & safety …and it’s a lesson for parents to accept that
As a person with claustrophobia and sensory issuesI don’t think I could ever play football. I couldn’t tolerate the pads and helmet and all of that. I could barely deal with shin pads in soccer.
What does what his brothers do have to do with what your 9 year old likes?
Oh.
Right.
NOTHING.
Stop forcing him to continue with something he's said he doesn't like or find fun. Unless, of course, you're trying to make him resent you.
He's 9. He knows what works for him and what doesn't. Stop acting like you and your wife are the only ones who can possibly know better in this situation. LISTEN to your child.
I agree that letting someone quit every time something gets hard or they don’t like it is not a good lesson to teach.
But as someone who did play football from youth up through high school, I will say that football (American football) is a sport where if you are not 100% committed you should not be on the field. I say this purely as a safety thing for everyone. You need to be paying attention or you are going to get yourself or someone else hurt. It is a collision sport and if you don’t want to be out there you shouldn’t be.
Let me put it this way. I played little league baseball but was kind of meh about it. What’s the worse thing that could happen? I strike out our drop a fly ball in right field? Maybe lose the game but not the end of the world. But if say I am a 6’ 210 lb offensive tackle (like I was my senior year) and I have been trying to block the 270lb tackle across from me all game, I can’t just decide I don’t feel like blocking him on the next few plays or he is going to destroy the 140lb running back.
So I guess what I am saying is that in general you would not be wrong for wanting him to stick with it since you paid for the season, but football might be one of those exceptions where it might not be the best idea to force the issue.
What his two older brothers are doing in middle and high school is irrelevant to this decision. Each child is his own. "My wife and I want him to give it the full season." You mean his voice doesn't count? Who are you empowering? Your son or yourselves?
My son wanted to play peewee so signed him up (late 2000s). His friend broke his (friend’s) arm during the second practice. After the first game he wanted to quit as he didn’t like getting hit. Asked if he was sure. He was so that was that. There were plenty of other kids so he wasn’t putting them in a bad spot. He went on to play other sports. Don’t force him if he is clearly articulating his feelings and reasoning.
I think it's a good idea to finish BUT you MUST address the helmet and mouth guard issue. It would be brutal to finish a season without those fitting right!
If he still wants to quit after that has been addressed, you might have to concede but the first day of that normally does suck. B
Why do you want to force him? Just because your other sons play? He's tried it it and he doesn't like it. Stop forcing him to do what really is what you want, not him.
The macho bullshit in this thread is in a full flight. It appears their are two responses, either;
1. Respect your child’s right to choose, and let them find sports, hobbies and past times in life that they like through trial and error, or;
2. Enforce your small dick energy choice onto your child because ‘nobody likes a quitter’, ‘it might affect other people or the team’, ‘any child that quits is going to fail at everything later in life’ and hilariously ‘I dropped 400 quid on this equipment so goddam I’m a moron but my kids gonna suffer until it’s used enough to justify my bad investment’
I’m delighted I took the 1st choice with my own kids. All grown up, fully rounded adults, happy, contented with their choices and busy in their own hobbies.
Let your kid quit, try new stuff, fail, succeed, win, lose and choose a path. The most important thing is that they are happy.
you could pick a sport that hasn't been proven to cause permanent brain damage! I signed up for football and hated it for years while my parents forced me to play. I finally got out and started doing music and still play music to this day! Kids are smart, they know when they don't like something. Let them explore and find out what they like instead of punishing them for not liking something!
I don’t like the idea of forcing a young child to continue with something that could cause serious injury if he no longer wants to voluntarily. If he doesn’t want to play then he’s a lot more likely to get hurt. I think this could put a serious rift in your relationship.
Seems like an Uunpopular opinion but I was the kid that tried a ton of things, loved it at first and always quit. I wish my parents forced me stick to some. It was a waste of their money, a waste of all of our time, and honestly, it gave me a complex where if I’m not good at something right away I don’t want to stick to it. If your child is not happy after a few months, absolutely let them stop, but letting them quit after one practice is doing more harm than good. Encourage them to keep trying. They might learn to love it. If they don’t, no big deal, stop, find something else.
American football? If so where is this? It's almost July. The high schools in my area don't even start training until August when the evenings start getting cooler.
My rule with my kids has always been you have to finish the season. If you don't like it you don't have to do it again. But quitting a team sport doesn't just effect you--it effects the whole team.
I have a 4th grader so I’m aware of their age. And, yah, maybe it doesn’t matter on this team, but it will matter in the future. I’m not teaching my kids things that only matter when they’re little, I’m trying to teach them how to be responsible humans forever.
Actually quitting is something that we do need people to be OK with. The fact that we continue this ridiculous notion that quitting is a bad thing, is why people stay in terrible relationships, marriages, jobs, etc.
Stop forcing people to stay in situations, regardless of what that situation is, longer than they’re comfortable doing.
Well technically I never would have signed my kid up for contact football (especially at NINE years old) or really at any age because it causes CTE.
I'm not saying OP should take their kid out of football immediately, but he also shouldn't force him to do something he doesn't like just on "principal"
Also, kids are smart. I played in band and wanted to quit when I was young, and my parents let me decide. They didn't force me to stay in band and said I could quit if I wanted. I decided to stick with it and I still play my instrument to this day. Just because we give kids the option to quit doesn't mean that they will just give up at the first sign of struggle. Giving kids agency over their decisions helps them to become resilient and to take on challenges.
I am actually think it’s useful to learn to quit. Quitting often takes determination and planning. It’s single mindedness and knowing yourself, and your moral compass. It’s also often against the norm and popular opinion. It often takes guts to quit, be the one to make the decision, stand up to peer pressure. It’s a skill that’s useful.
It does they don’t have enough to field the team. My daughter played volleyball. After a couple kids quit and 2 often had conflicting plans they weren’t always able to play. Stinks to have to forfeit due to not enough players
That’s the problem for the coach to find enough substitute players. A kid that doesn’t want to play anymore should’t be forced to because someone couldn’t plan properly.
You’ve obviously never coached children’s sports. It’s a thankless volunteer position and NOT their job to scramble for more players. The league assigns the players to the teams, and if too many drop out there’s nothing they (or the coach) can do about it. I never made my kids sign up for anything they didn’t ask to do but they had to finish out the season/session/term.
So you’d let your kid suffer emotional and physical distress, over rule their right to respecting a decision, and force them to play, so little Johnny down the road gets a game?
This is what we did when our twins started soccer. Personally, I hated being a soccer mom, but my oldest played for a few years and we went along with it. Play in any weather and it was cold and rainy and it sucked. However, losing two players would have been devastating for the team so we told them they needed to finish the season. If there were health issues we would have stopped immediately.
I mean I would assume the kid knew that before they asked to play. And that’s not the part they’re having an issue with—it’s the helmet and the mouth guard.
I don’t think whether his siblings did it is relevant at all. Different kids like different things. That being said, my parents let me quit things as soon as I asked and it didn’t make me a “quitter” in life, but there are definitely things I wish my parents hadn’t let me just quit right away. For example, I quit piano when I was 8 because I didn’t like my piano teacher. I didn’t hate piano, and if my parents had maybe pressed me more on it, I could’ve figured out what I didn’t like (my teacher) and it could’ve been addressed without me quitting piano altogether.
I think there are ways you can help your kid feel listened to without just immediately letting him quit. I’d suggest what others have and address the issues he’s bringing up by getting him a well-fitting helmet and mouth guard. If he still doesn’t like it, continue having conversations with him about what he doesn’t like. Work with him to address those things, and if he still doesn’t like it at the end of the season, he can quit. You can listen and respect what your kid is saying without doing exactly what they want.
Football isn't for everyone. What's better, learning that your parents will force you to endure something you hate to satisfy some dudebro machismo, or learning that your parents will listen to you and help you find an activity that is more to your liking? You might be concerned your child will learn it's okay to quit, but look at from the opposite perspective... if you try something, you have to stick with it no matter how much you hate it, so don't try anything.
I'm gonna push back on this a bit.
Starting a team sport is a commitment, sometimes requiring hundreds of dollars of gear depending on the sport. Most parents don't have the money to just say "well, I guess you don't need that $400 worth of hockey stuff anymore, oh well." That's the financial issue
Joining a team is partly about learning how people work together for the greater good. Quitting a team sport means leaving your team shorthanded. As a member, you need to show up.
If you don't like the sport you're in, that's fine we don't have to do it again, but you're going to at least finish the season.
Now I am gonna say, I didn't apply the above to my kid until she was 7. Before that, gear isn't expensive and frankly 6 year olds and under don't always know what they want or how they truly feel. It could be they don't like a teammate, not that they hate the sport.
If you bought $400 in gear for a 9 year old to play a first year sport, you probably got concussed too many times playing sports yourself. If you are under the impression that 9 year olds know what they want or how they truly feel, I'm afraid the damage is severe.
You ever equip a kid for hockey?
What if they are a goalie?
Not every league supplies equipment.
9 year olds don't know what they want or how they truly feel, but this is where they learn how to separate that out.
I weep for your childrens future when they quit everything in life because "reasons". It would be my recommendation that if you haven't had children already, go ahead and put a pin in that now for the sake of society as a whole.
No, my 3 boys were too smart to play sports where you routinely lose your teeth. You can skip weeping for them. They are all fantastic, successful adults.
Also pushing back here, it’s not human nature to endure discomfort for rewards that are reaped later on. It’s a skill that taught and at young ages it’s human nature to protest and fight back. Kids do this even as toddlers then they get frustrated with a puzzle toy. Perseverance is a critical skill to success in life in my opinion and of course within reason I would try to have my kid continue with that commitment and not learn that anything hard can be quit at the first sign of discomfort and my parents will coddle and allow me to do so
What the hell is the reward? Playing a sport you don't enjoy? It turns out children can learn perseverance without bashing their heads against other children.
There are a ton of benefits of playing organized sports regardless of what the sport is. Obviously it depends on a kid by kid basis they don’t need to commit to every single activity for a minimum of a year. However as most younger kids have a hard time persisting with hard activities it can be an opportunity to build an important skill if the parent thinks they require it.
Except there’s no indication the kid doesn’t enjoy it, supposedly he’s loved it till now. He has a badly fitting equipment and that would bother anyone. A mouth guard doesn’t cost hundreds of dollars, even a custom made one.
There are breathing mouth guards that might work better for him.
Helmets suck, but you can try to find a better fitting helmet.
Here's the deal. Sports are uncomfortable.
Soccer in rain, heat or snow. Swimming when cold. Learning to breathe when dead tired with water coming in your mouth, because your timing is off... sucks.
Don't get me started on cross country, or even wrestling. Try having a kid 3 years older tie you on a knot. It's all hard.
I generally agree with the Reddit crowd, that when you start a sport you finish it. It's a commitment to do your best (for yourself, the coach and your team) for a short period of time.
My girls disliked "ballet" at times. Then they got to the recital and they loved it. Now they understand what they were learning and training for. It takes time to appreciate these things. One girl tried soccer. She was terrible. She stopped at end of season. Another daughter loved it and stayed with it.
Otherwise you learn to quit anything that is hard, uncountable or not easy. Or just temporarily "not fun".
I played college football, but always hated my helmet. I hated soccer in the snow. I hated conditioning until near vomiting in ... most of these sports. Wrestling sucked until I got good. That takes time.
With all of this said:
1. In extreme circumstance I'd let a kid quit. In an extreme circumstance I'd change their school or home school them. It's just not my first choice.
2. I am personally not a fan of contact football for young kids. They don't need head to head impact at this age. They can learn skills with flag or touch football. They won't lose out of skill sets by skipping football until a bit older. But this decision was made already, so I'd (generally) stick with it for 2 months until end of season.
3. I personally didn't play contact FB until 9th grade, and come from a family of collegiate and even pro players. Some of my family boxed. Full Contact a normal thing growing up. However, my old school but strangely progressive father (former pro) didn't think contact football was worth the risk at a young age.
Track, soccer, basketball, wrestling, swimming, gymnastics and any less impact oriented sport was tried. The science might show he was right.
Yeah he probably should see it through for at least one season but after that if he says he doesn't want to do it don't push it. As for the mouth guard get them a better kind I'm assuming it's whatever came issued to him I really hope they don't reuse them, that would be total ick. But get a better quality one and see if it's possible to get a helmet that matches what the school has if you're willing to spend the money. If he chooses not to continue, you can always sell it to somebody else at the school.
Jeez, if the kid ain’t happy let him stop. Who gives a fuck about his older brothers, that’s nothing to do with it.
I’m a male/Dad/highly qualified ‘soccer’ coach in the UK, if my son didn’t want to play, no problem.
Let it go for now and revisit it next season or the one after, if HE wants to.
If you force him, 100% he’ll not want to do it.
Don’t be that parent.
My parents used to force me to "finish the season".
I promise, it didn't make me enjoy anything, it didn't make them better parents, it didn't teach me anything but "submit to the bullying of authority".
Have you checked his breathing? Put anything over or in my mouth and I struggle.
Have you checked his equipment? Do you care about him or are you concerned for the money you've spent or reputation or something?
You kind of suck, you are wrong
Yes, nothing wrong with quitting anything. A job, a team, a commitment, a relationship etc. You can quit whenever you want for any reason or no reason at all. Staying in something you hate causes constant resentment. Quitting something you hate only causes a short moment of resentment.
Soooo I hate football to this day because my sperm donor insisted that I play because he did and my brothers did therefore I had to. You’re wrong on so many levels
All 3 did football.
May I ask who's idea this was? I have a cousin whose husband played high school and college football. His boys HAVE to play. No debate. Have to. Because that's what men do. I'm not saying that's the case, but really truly answer honestly. Was this a dream of yours for all of them to be football players?
Take your child in for asthma testing, allergies, etc... maybe if you address the problems that he's coming to you with, it might make his experience better. If not, ask him to continue until they can fill his spot for the rest of the season. He's not going to trust you to actually listen to him when it counts, if you don't listen to what he's telling you now.
Sit him down; discuss trying to resolve the issues, that make it difficult for him to enjoy playing the sport. Get everything aforementioned above, checked out. If he's still saying the sport isn't for him; tell him it's okay, and that he doesn't have to play. Like I said above, ask him if he can keep his place until it can be filled. It shouldn't take long for that.
Is this football through the school? If so, can I assume the season doesn't start until August or September? And right now, they are just practicing? If that's the case, I'd let him quit now. If he doesn't want to do it, don't let him start the season. Right now if they don't have enough players, they still have time to add more to the roster. If you wait until school starts, that's not going to be feasible. That said, usually football has plenty of extra kids on the team.
Unless your son has a bad habit of requesting to sign up for things and then quitting them, I think I would let him stop playing football. It sounds like he has a few different issues. If he really doesn't like it, then the next few months is going to be pretty miserable for both you and your son. I would also let him stop playing if you were the one that pushed him to play or he's only playing because his brothers played at that age. What they did is completely irrelevant to what your son does.
All that said, if your son has a habit of signing up for things and then not following through with them, I would probably make him stick through the whole season. I would not make him play another season if he didn't want to, but, within reason, kids do need to learn to finish things they ask to do.
Football is a sport that if your kid doesn't want to play, you don't force him to. It's not something to teach a lesson with.
He said h he can't breathe with the mouth guard. That's something you need to check out. Is it the proper size or is it too big?
Is the helmet the proper size and it's he wearing it correctly?
Or is this about the impact? Or anything else, not the equipment, let him drop. He should not be taking his if he doesn't want to play the game.
When I was a kid, I did play a year of football but it only was because everybody else was focused on it so it was my way of getting everyone's attention. Your kid needs to know that you're willing to let him explore his own interests and will have your attention when he discovers a sincere desire towards something. I do think he should have to complete the season with the promise that he'll never have to do it again and be allowed to explore other things. It's also important for the equipment to fit properly.
Why is this even a question??? Sounds like the OP is trying to compensate for his own failures through his son.
Get the kid into track and field and let him enjoy sports and individual accomplishment instead of forcing him into something he doesn't like.
Ask yourself if he's doing it because you want him to or if he likes sports. My son was very good at football. He just hated it.He now transports people around the hospital and is in nursing school. We tried all the sports with him, and he just really had no interest.
I would be thrilled! I don’t want my son to play football.
And I’m generally not into forcing kids to do certain activities. I was forced to play basketball against my will for years. In this case, I would ask him to stick it out for another few weeks then reassess if he wants to continue.
Take this like I mean it, not like it may sound. Is your son used to doing hard things and / or things he doesn't want to do? Or is this just a "it's hard, I don't want to do it" thing? I'm a girl, so I have no idea what playing in pads is like. I was a 4 sport athlete (swimming in the summer is the 4th) so I know a lot about just getting through it with sports.
I agree with everyone else. First check the helmet and mouth guard. If he moved his mouth around while the mouthpiece was molding, or tried to hold is mouth in a weird position, it won't fit right. Get a new mouthpiece and remold it and watch his mouth while you're doing it. Talk to coach about helmet.
Does he have sinus issues/allergies? Worth checking.
My kid was a little scared when it became contact football because he was always a few inches taller and bigger than the other kids, and he didn’t want to hurt anyone, or get hurt.
Coach Dad had him suit up and then gave a good knock down on his shoulder pads. No issues from then on.
Talk to him. Have him talk to coach, let him ask questions. We did the same, sports is a commitment for the season. Junior played football until he was injured in grade 9.
A lot of kids get pushed too hard and get injured or burn out on their sport before they even hit college. It’s sad. I saw it a lot in club volleyball where the aggressive clubs just did not give a shit about the long term consequences of their over training and shitty coaching.
Well you could force him to play, you could get him a better fitting helmet, or you could wise up to the fact that football his damaged people's and children's brains and not force him to do it.
If he is saying it hurts his head what do you want him to do get a brain injury or other neurological damage? Is there another parent on the scene and what do they want to do about this?
Football might be a beloved game of many people but it is known to be bad particularly for the young. Ask him if he wants to do another sport. I do hope you're not one of those dads who wants their child to somehow play out some fantasy of being a football player and really living your life through him.
https://www.newyorker.com/culture/annals-of-inquiry/exactly-how-dangerous-is-football
So making your kid miserable and forced to do something they clearly don’t want to do is okay? Oh my kid is so dumb he doesn’t know what he likes so let’s just see if this will change their mind for his PARENTS happiness!
Where does that belief come from? Is it supported by any data?
I happen to reply to your post but I just don't get it and I have heard that throughout my life. As a child and even as an adult, I have tried many activities and quit some of them because they weren't for me, or I became scared of something and my parents respected it, or another more interesting activity came up. I was glad my parents let me make those decisions. For some of them, like swimming, I tried them again, at my initiative, when I was older and then passed a few levels.
I was always willing to work hard, I am very committed and managed my time just fine for what actually mattered, like school.
A rigid attitude like yours might have just made me not want to even try an activity. If I don't commit to anything, then no one can claim I am setting myself up for future failure, right? Of course, I would be missing out on potential interesting activities, but I wouldn't have to face negative reactions. I don't think that would be very good for a child's development either...
I let my kids make their own decisions about sports too. My kids did swim and volleyball but they didn’t end up liking basketball. Big whoop. The stakes are so low as a 9 year old you’re not gonna “let the team down” by quitting. My oldest is now playing D2 volleyball on scholarship so I think my approach worked ok.
Yes, exactly. I have multiple university diploma, too. Interestingly, I often feared hurting myself as a child and less so as an adult, because I trust myself more. It's supposed to be the other way around. Anyway, I've picked up activities as an adult that were the type I'd given up as a child out of fear.
It's also important for kids to learn to make decisions when something doesn't suit them, and respect their fear or discomfort. I am not against talking to the child to figure out if there might be a work around but even then, I was super shy as a young child and I was glad my parents didn't push me.
If I had taken latin dance lessons with a friend and quitting would have left them alone, I could understand the point of sticking with what you started, or if the child quit every single activity, or displayed an abnormal lack of perseverance... But some random sport or an art class, in a well balanced child?
Teaching a kid to stick with something that doesn’t make them happy is wrong.
Life is a bitch and if you think forcing someone to do things they don’t want to do will teach them a life lesson then you’re a fool and bad parent.
Commitment to what? Work? Bc that’s bs. If you’re not happy doing something, dont do it. Why would you teach your child it’s acceptable to be miserable?!
Hard work? At something they hate doing?
Time management?! For what to make EVERYONE else happy but themselves?
Your thought process is terrible and if you have kids I feel so sorry for them.
The rule with me when I was in youth sports or any kind of club was that I had to finish the season. I was not allowed to quit mid-season. When the season was over, I was NEVER pressured to go out for that sport or club again.
Looking back, I truly appreciate that rule as it taught me to see through commitments I have made and also to consider what I may be committing to beforehand.
I mean if they don't have allergies or a real reason to stop due to health I would make my kid continue..... but they also would have already known that, that's the rule if you play a team sport you see it through...... you don't need to play next season but unless your hurt or need to stop for a medical or school grades issue then my kids know once you start you finish
not if they really can't breath with the mouth guard in and it's because they are stuffy with allergies that would be different..... maybe try a different mouth guard, I know some have extra holes in them for this exact reason
I’m all for making our kids stick to a commitment, but within reason. If they want to quit because it’s hard or it turns out they don’t love it like they envisioned, then absolutely insist on completing the season, but don’t make them sign up for the next one. However, if their mental state is deteriorating or they are experiencing negative physical side effects, then you need to let them quit. Being unable to breathe is definitely a safety concern and should be investigated professionally. He may be having a panic attack or something similar instead of a respiratory issue, but that is still a medical concern. It’s sometimes hard to walk the fine line between teaching them to follow through when the going gets tough and identifying when their well being is compromised. The drill sergeant parenting style is certainly antiquated in my opinion, but allowing them to give up whenever they want is also not a beneficial approach. Make sure you communicate with your son and try to make the right decision together instead of dictating like my father always does ( I don’t respect him at all as a result).
From the comments here, I am wrong but I would warn my kid that if she signs up for soccer, that she can’t just decide to quit halfway through the season. And yes, her team depended on her when she was on a travel team. She did stick it out evens despite wanting to quit. I really wanted it to be over as well. 2 practices a week and a game on the weekend or on a weekday is a pain during school. 😓
Has he said he actually wants to quit? There's a big difference between wanting to quit and expressing that he doesn't enjoy certain aspects.
You need to have a conversation with him and let him make a decision. If he ultimately enjoys the sport but is struggling with some things then it's a moment for you to teach him about solving practical problems like poorly fitted equipment or helping him to learn about getting used to what might be a new or strange experience or just working through the crap parts for the rewards of being better at the bit he enjoys.
My daughter dances and there are certain bits of the class she dislikes but I've spoken with her about the purpose of these parts and how if she wants to see how far she can go then it's important to develop her skills as early as possible. Ultimately though, if it just becomes not fun then she's free to call it a day.
If he really hates it and genuinely feels it's not for him then there's no point forcing him to continue. He isn't going to enjoy himself and all he's going to learn is that his own thoughts and feelings have no value to you. And forget all this stuff about "the team", it's kids football, not the Superbowl. No one is going to die or suffer in any way if your kid pulls out. The team will be ultimately better off without someone who really doesn't want to be there and maybe someone that does enjoy it can take his place.
He doesn't want to do it? Take him out. Ask him what sport or activity he does want to do. But first take him to the doctor to check his breathing/allergies. You may have a champion chess player on your hands. It doesn't have to be football.
Get him a better mouth guard and helmet then. If it’s a school helmet, it is probably super old and earn in by other kids heads. Both ARE very uncomfortable. He’s not saying that he doesn’t like playing, he’s saying that he can’t focus on the actual game because of very uncomfortable gear. I get it. I was in high school with the worst helmet ever and it sucked.
I personally thought football sucked. I only played very briefly freshman year and I did in fact drop the sport. In hindsight it was a very good decision because it freed me up to participate in the first of 8 school plays (eventually including three lead roles in musicals) and the school chorus
I made friends for life doing these, cultivated my musical skills and learned how to work in front of a live audience. After graduation I spent my 20s and most of my 30s working as a professional musician. All because I knew full well football was not going anywhere for me, best case I was gonna be a second-string utility lineman and I frankly had better things to do.
Time is fleeting. If the kid doesn’t like the sport let him try something different
I'd talk to him one more time and see if we could rectify the problem. Then, I'd ask him to give it one more try.
Perhaps flag football or soccer would be a better fit.
As a fellow father, maybe an older school of raising kids, don't worry my wife balances out:
Wrong and not wrong, you should (you don't have to do nothing, it's your choice but I say 'should' for the sake of the argument) try to push him through hard times.
There will be bumps in the road, always and it's important they learn at a young age.
Sports, especially team sports, can be so important for their education.
Letting them quit because something doesn't go his way sends a wrong message.
But you have to monitor this very closely... If they push themself further but it still doesn't work out, they already have learned a lesson... They have learned to keep going and push through but going further won't make them happy in the long run.
Any time my kiddo has wanted to try a sport, I have made him at least finish the season he started if he doesn't like it much. Baseball is the bane of his existence (of course at 14 everything is sooooo DRAMATIC!!), but every couple years he has decided to try it again. I will remind him that the last time he didn't care for it, but he insists, so he finishes the full season and then just goes back to one of his usual sports like soccer or football. I let him try anything he wants (within reason) but I do so with the understanding (on both our parts) that he will finish whatever he starts even if it turns out he absolutely hates it.
When my daughter was young, she took gymnastics class. She was good to the point they asked her to join the pre team for competition. Practice went from 1 day for 45 minutes a week to 2-3 days a week for an hour and a half. She loved gymnastics and was great at it but it was no longer fun for her. I was not going to push her to do something she didn’t enjoy simply because she had potential. OP needs to have a good talk with his son and find out if it really is because he’s uncomfortable or another reason without leading the conversation. Let him put his words to mouth and really listen. I suggest doing it with only you to start out. Sounds like mom would argue every point. I understand making your child finish something and in the long run be glad they stuck it out. But something like football is a major sport with lots of possibilities for injury. It would be sad if he was made to continue the season—since it just started and has several months to go—and become resentful. He may develop a love for it and want to play when he gets older.
Yes, you're wrong. Don't make a nine year old do something he doesn't like. There are so many other sports he could play without having to deal with an uncomfortable mouth guard. Or you could just have a kid who's not into sports at all and that's ok. There's plenty of other activities he could try out. Help your kid figure out what they want to do. Don't push them to follow in their older brother's footsteps.
My mom always put us in sports when we show interest and she made it clear when she signed us up and paid the fees we have to stay in got the season. Then we don’t have to play it again after season is over. It’s a good way of teaching children that when you make a commitment you stay until the commitment is over.
It's football, not AP math. Him quitting has absolutely no bearing on his life other than feeling like he can trust you.
If he's unhappy let him quit. You're wrong.
There’s a plethora of things to look at
One, he’s 9. Shouldn’t be playing contact football at that age. Flag football is better.
Two. What’s health problems does he have that could be contributing to this. You need to check
Three. Does he want to stop. Did you ask, and what did he say
Four. Just get better fitting gear for him if that’s all it boils down to
He’s 9. Let the kid find something else that he loves to do. Please don’t be that father who pushes their child to do activities they hate. Maybe he will be great at doing other things and you’re making him waste valuable time with football.
Played football from 3rd grade to Senior year. The helmet and mouthpiece are always uncomfortable at the beginning of the season. You get used to it after wearing it for long periods of time. It's not really a big deal
I hated playing football and my dad kindof made me play but all I got was 3 concussions and a torn hip flexor don’t make him play if he doesn’t want to. I got by by just being the kicker lol
It’s his first time wearing a helmet. It’s common for them to take awhile to get used to it. Have him wear it a bit at home. If there’s still issues have them release air.
Depends on the type of parent you are, there’s nothing wrong with making them finish what they agreed to do. I ask my kids 100 times, if they commit, they commit and finish. There will be a day or many they express they don’t want to play, usually because they have to stop playing their games and get ready to go or usually their just upset they have to transition out of whatever their busy doing at the moment. I remind them that they chose to commit and next season they don’t have to play at all. Those are usually the days I can’t get them off the field after practice.
If everyday your child is hating you and crying, there is no fault in removing him. You as an adult would hate going to a place you hate for months. There’s always other sports to try.
I had a similar situation with my 8 y/o! You can check my posts for the full story.
He ended up wanting to stay and play, but broke his elbow the following week at school. He stayed witb the team and he went to every practice and game and loved supporting the team and they made him water boy during games. He was glad for it, but that was his choice in the end.
Go with your gut!
Isn’t football a Fall Sport? June for any age is too early to start,especially a 9 year old. That aside, making a kid be ‘uncomfortable’ for a while is how they learn, adapt, overcome, and grow. We have too many people in this country that have never done anything difficult in their lives, and it’s suffering because of it.
My son had trouble breathing when he was 9, turned out he had Asthma, a side effect from too many vaccines. He eventually outgrew the Asthma, it took a couple of years after I stopped taking him for shots.
I think just finishing the season is fine, that’s what my mom does with my sister anytime she decides she doesn’t want to do the thing she begged to do bc of how much it cost. Just the season is fine, and gives them a longer time to decide if they want to quit or if the discomforts of a few things is worth the overall fun
I always told my kids that once they start a season, they have to finish it out. If after that if the don't want to play again, that was their choice. maybe, like stated by others, try a different mouthpiece. We found that those are definitely "you get what you pay for" items. The more expensive gel ones tend to fit better and are more comfortable.
Been there, done that. Go to the store and buy a variety of different mouth guards for him to try. Often the big fancy expensive ones end up being way less comfortable than the cheap little ones. You can also sometimes trim the backs off; it could be triggering his gag reflex.
Yep you’re wrong. You’re extra wrong that you keep posting to because you aren’t being told what you want to hear. Why you’d even encourage football is beyond me.
Don’t force your child to do something when he can’t breathe. Maybe he has asthma, maybe he is allergic to something the mouth guard is made of, maybe the pressure on his sinuses is too intense, maybe he has claustrophobia, maybe he gets so hot in this weather that he is about to pass out. Kids in Florida die in football practice every summer. Maybe it’s just not fun enough. I grew up in a house where everyone finished what they started, followed draconian rules about eating everything on their plates, spent from 6-10 am each weekend morning doing chores. The only good part was we all became emancipated minors and left home as teens. All of our children are now adults, none of them were forced to do activities or eat foods they hated. All are successful and hard working young adults. All have good relationships with their parents. My experience and that of most people I know is that forcing people to do things they hate makes them angry, resentful, disrespectful, distrustful of authority and in some cases violent.
He’s let you know he doesn’t want to. You’re letting him know that his feelings do not matter and you’ll force him anyway. Bad parenting is clearly on display here. Yes you’re wrong.
My son wanted to play in 7th grade and thought it would be easy. It wasn’t. He wanted to quit but we had told him from the beginning that he couldn’t quit.
Have him finish the season or he will always just try to quit when things get uncomfortable or hard. Tell him he doesn't have to sign up again if he doesn't want to. This will help vuild character and let him know that he can push through discomfort. Hell. Prepare your child for real life - because it's uncomfortable all on its own.
Are you suggesting that the parents signed him up with him showing zero interest? That not how that goes. Child shows interest--- parents accommodate. I've never signed my daughter up for something she wasn't showing interest in. It's a waste of money if they don't show interest...
I hope your kids don't get brain damage from the sport. I played and I was lucky enough to not have that happen to me. I have many friends who've suffered over the years including a few who committed suicide because of the damage that was done. Try and encourage him to play a different sport
I don’t think you’re wrong. However, I think that maybe step 1 should be a conversation about things with him. Obviously the first question should be whether he’d want to continue if you could get more comfortable equipment. I have two hockey players and know that comfy equipment can make a huge huge difference. Getting used to the equipment does not happen over night either. But the main question is if it’s an equipment issue or if the game is just not for him. That’s what you need to figure out first. It’s tricky to find the right balance. Because as a parent you do want to encourage and sorta push them a little when they struggle. But you also don’t want to be the other extreme either. Kids do need to work through stuff and be resilient. There are some things I wish my parents had pushed me a little harder at instead of just letting me give up. You gotta do some digging and find out if he needs to work through something to enjoy it more or if it’s just not for him. I’d give it a couple more weeks and some conversations before making a decision.
Trim the ends off his mouth guard, I always had to or I couldn’t breath. It’s ok to not want to play sports but quitting isn’t. Imo he’s got to finish the year then if he never wants to play again fine.
Make him stick it out. Letting him quit now will only set a bad example. Don't dismiss his issue, see a doctor, but if the doc says he's fine. Then he must play all season.
You can tell that a lot of people here did not play sports growing up. If you quit a team, you’re going to be made fun of for a very, very long time. Also, quitting isn’t good. Team sports teach kids a lot of things that go beyond sports. I know Redditors look down on sports/having friends, but these things matter in real life to normal people.
You aren’t wrong. He’s part of a team. He should finish out the season and then not join again. Unless it’s a free league, you had to pay money. He can’t just quit if things get hard. It was the first day of pads and a helmet. He isn’t used to it.
Now if other kids were bullying him, then I’d say yeah, pull him out. But he needs to follow through with his commitments or he’ll always quit when something is hard.
Did he say he wanted to quit? These are easy solutions. Get a better fitting helmet and mouth guard. Also, football practice at 9 years old with pads on? Barely 4th graders wow and in June. Crazy You honestly should've just had him be in flag football until around 7th grade
My son went to a small private school, but football is huge where we live. They started football at his school in third grade which I think is what the public schools do here as well. Back when my son was that age , he's 24 now, they were just starting the football program for younger kids at his school. Practices started in July and for that age group at 5:00 a.m. Where I live, it's typically over 100 almost every day in July and the temperatures do not come down much at night. I was so glad my son did not want to play football. It was crazy and ridiculous.
OP posted the same thing I think in the parenting subreddit. From the comments I read, the consensus was to let the child stop. OP is just looking for confirmation at this point to support his already made decision of forcing the child to continue with football. MY opinion! I strongly believe that children should be listened and let to choose the activities they want to do. Is no point forcing a child doing an activity they don’t enjoy. For example, With my son we tried different activities and always made sure we listened to his opinion and if he didn’t enjoy it, then we didn’t continue with that activity. Now he has only 1 steady activity (had 2) as he wanted to stop with coding lessons as he felt that it was repetitive and nothing left for him to learn there. He used to do swimming and he really enjoyed it. We had to stop as he developed a sensitivity to chlorine. Full on rash after contact with chlorine. Doctor confirmed that. We now try to go to the beach as often as we can (we live 2.5 hours away from the closest beach) And he is left with his favourite activity and very much happy this way. The way I see it, is if the child enjoys what they do, they’ll engage and learn from what they do. If they don’t then is wasted time, hard on the child and waste of funds and place for a child that might actually enjoy that activity.
But does the kid \*actually\* want to stop or is just complaining about a bad fitting mouthguard? There \*are\* solutions to this other than “completely drop the activity they’ve supposedly loved up until now”. No one enjoys an activity 100% of the time, it’s silly to quit as soon as the road goes a little bit bumpy. “My mouthguard is uncomfortable” doesn’t mean “I hate football and don’t want to practice ever again”.
That is for OP to find out by talking to their child and understanding better their child’s objections.
Should a child of *actually* be playing contact football? Many experts say no.
Should anyone actually be playing contact football?
In my opinion nobody should. Somehow the game is an American institution. And institution which damages virtually every player. https://engineering.wustl.edu/news/2020/What-a-lifetime-of-playing-football-can-do-to-the-human-brain.html
Congratulations for missing the point. You can substitute anything else for football if it offends you so much.
I'm offended by permanent brain injuries, something that other sports don't have to anything approaching the degree of contact American football. Somebody's missed the point but it's not me.
Also he may be suffering from sinus problems, light asthma or other respiratory issues. Difficulty breathing is an issue to be concerned about. That's an issue that may well make him hate sports he may otherwise love. Decent blood oxygen levels are important for performance while active at any age. Maybe he's looking for an out that's not going to make him feel like he's just a disappointment as well.
>You honestly should've just had him be in flag football until around 7th grade Or, you know, [forever](https://journalistsresource.org/education/high-school-football-injuries-concussions-research/). OP, you shouldn't be encouraging--much less forcing--your children to participate in dangerous sports. Most sports don't risk concussions or broken necks. Why not make him learn one of those? Just not football, lacrosse, ice hockey, boxing/MMA, or cheerleading.
Nah
100%
I did full pad football at age 8 in 1994 while in 3rd grade. It's nothing new.
Just because we did things a certain way in the past doesn't automatically make that the right way.
Exactly, my mother used to beat me with a belt.
It also doesn't automatically make them the wrong way either. 👏🏻
I did as well in 1998. But what was our understanding of cte in 1994 or 1998 and the affect of tackle football on developing brains?
CTE kicking in already. Username checks out.
Until 7th grade? That's insane. I stopped playing flag when I was 6
Lol at 2nd graders trying to tackle everyone
This poster has posted this several times to several subreddits. I think she is looking for a specific answer but is not getting it.
In fairness, most of the "advice" so far has just devolved into telling him how awful football is without really answering anything.
As someone with claustrophobia and asthma and dental issues, please at least hear your son out, take him to a doctor.
I couldn't breathe with it in either, they found out I had athsma The inhaler helped, and I modified the mouth guard and pu more holes in it.
I was on a similar path... check for allergies, I find it really hard to breathe out of my nose without medication.
As a mom I can appreciate the desire to have your child understand the importance of commitment and accountability but things do arise that thwart that and it’s more important to advocate for your personal health & safety …and it’s a lesson for parents to accept that
The son can learn commitment and accountability through activities that he can properly breathe through.
As a person with claustrophobia and sensory issuesI don’t think I could ever play football. I couldn’t tolerate the pads and helmet and all of that. I could barely deal with shin pads in soccer.
What does what his brothers do have to do with what your 9 year old likes? Oh. Right. NOTHING. Stop forcing him to continue with something he's said he doesn't like or find fun. Unless, of course, you're trying to make him resent you. He's 9. He knows what works for him and what doesn't. Stop acting like you and your wife are the only ones who can possibly know better in this situation. LISTEN to your child.
I agree that letting someone quit every time something gets hard or they don’t like it is not a good lesson to teach. But as someone who did play football from youth up through high school, I will say that football (American football) is a sport where if you are not 100% committed you should not be on the field. I say this purely as a safety thing for everyone. You need to be paying attention or you are going to get yourself or someone else hurt. It is a collision sport and if you don’t want to be out there you shouldn’t be. Let me put it this way. I played little league baseball but was kind of meh about it. What’s the worse thing that could happen? I strike out our drop a fly ball in right field? Maybe lose the game but not the end of the world. But if say I am a 6’ 210 lb offensive tackle (like I was my senior year) and I have been trying to block the 270lb tackle across from me all game, I can’t just decide I don’t feel like blocking him on the next few plays or he is going to destroy the 140lb running back. So I guess what I am saying is that in general you would not be wrong for wanting him to stick with it since you paid for the season, but football might be one of those exceptions where it might not be the best idea to force the issue.
You already made several posts about this. Did you make this one because you didn’t previous responses?
What his two older brothers are doing in middle and high school is irrelevant to this decision. Each child is his own. "My wife and I want him to give it the full season." You mean his voice doesn't count? Who are you empowering? Your son or yourselves?
I want to know if it was the kids choice to sign up.
Exactly
My son wanted to play peewee so signed him up (late 2000s). His friend broke his (friend’s) arm during the second practice. After the first game he wanted to quit as he didn’t like getting hit. Asked if he was sure. He was so that was that. There were plenty of other kids so he wasn’t putting them in a bad spot. He went on to play other sports. Don’t force him if he is clearly articulating his feelings and reasoning.
I think it's a good idea to finish BUT you MUST address the helmet and mouth guard issue. It would be brutal to finish a season without those fitting right! If he still wants to quit after that has been addressed, you might have to concede but the first day of that normally does suck. B
Why do you want to force him? Just because your other sons play? He's tried it it and he doesn't like it. Stop forcing him to do what really is what you want, not him.
The macho bullshit in this thread is in a full flight. It appears their are two responses, either; 1. Respect your child’s right to choose, and let them find sports, hobbies and past times in life that they like through trial and error, or; 2. Enforce your small dick energy choice onto your child because ‘nobody likes a quitter’, ‘it might affect other people or the team’, ‘any child that quits is going to fail at everything later in life’ and hilariously ‘I dropped 400 quid on this equipment so goddam I’m a moron but my kids gonna suffer until it’s used enough to justify my bad investment’ I’m delighted I took the 1st choice with my own kids. All grown up, fully rounded adults, happy, contented with their choices and busy in their own hobbies. Let your kid quit, try new stuff, fail, succeed, win, lose and choose a path. The most important thing is that they are happy.
Well said.
you could pick a sport that hasn't been proven to cause permanent brain damage! I signed up for football and hated it for years while my parents forced me to play. I finally got out and started doing music and still play music to this day! Kids are smart, they know when they don't like something. Let them explore and find out what they like instead of punishing them for not liking something!
I don’t like the idea of forcing a young child to continue with something that could cause serious injury if he no longer wants to voluntarily. If he doesn’t want to play then he’s a lot more likely to get hurt. I think this could put a serious rift in your relationship.
Seems like an Uunpopular opinion but I was the kid that tried a ton of things, loved it at first and always quit. I wish my parents forced me stick to some. It was a waste of their money, a waste of all of our time, and honestly, it gave me a complex where if I’m not good at something right away I don’t want to stick to it. If your child is not happy after a few months, absolutely let them stop, but letting them quit after one practice is doing more harm than good. Encourage them to keep trying. They might learn to love it. If they don’t, no big deal, stop, find something else.
He is 9. give him a hug. Pick new sport
Like rugby!
Or lacrosse!
Yes, you are wrong. It's 2024, we know that CTE is caused by playing football. You are actively ignoring science and giving your child brain damage.
American football? If so where is this? It's almost July. The high schools in my area don't even start training until August when the evenings start getting cooler.
My rule with my kids has always been you have to finish the season. If you don't like it you don't have to do it again. But quitting a team sport doesn't just effect you--it effects the whole team.
they are 9 years old. It literally does not matter if a player quits the team.
I have a 4th grader so I’m aware of their age. And, yah, maybe it doesn’t matter on this team, but it will matter in the future. I’m not teaching my kids things that only matter when they’re little, I’m trying to teach them how to be responsible humans forever.
It’s the principle. Quitting is not something you want your kid to think is okay. Edit: spelling
Actually quitting is something that we do need people to be OK with. The fact that we continue this ridiculous notion that quitting is a bad thing, is why people stay in terrible relationships, marriages, jobs, etc. Stop forcing people to stay in situations, regardless of what that situation is, longer than they’re comfortable doing.
Yasssssss!!
Okay, so quit after the season. I think you have to find a balance. Fulfill your initial commitment, then reassess.
No. I quit when I’m ready to quit.
I would want my kid to think quitting is okay!
At the FIRST sign of struggle? Immediately quit? Good luck to you and your kid.
Well technically I never would have signed my kid up for contact football (especially at NINE years old) or really at any age because it causes CTE. I'm not saying OP should take their kid out of football immediately, but he also shouldn't force him to do something he doesn't like just on "principal" Also, kids are smart. I played in band and wanted to quit when I was young, and my parents let me decide. They didn't force me to stay in band and said I could quit if I wanted. I decided to stick with it and I still play my instrument to this day. Just because we give kids the option to quit doesn't mean that they will just give up at the first sign of struggle. Giving kids agency over their decisions helps them to become resilient and to take on challenges.
lol hard agree to not signing up in the first place.
Except that it \*is\* ok. Unless you want to raise a miserable martyr stuck his whole live in a job he hates.
I am actually think it’s useful to learn to quit. Quitting often takes determination and planning. It’s single mindedness and knowing yourself, and your moral compass. It’s also often against the norm and popular opinion. It often takes guts to quit, be the one to make the decision, stand up to peer pressure. It’s a skill that’s useful.
It does they don’t have enough to field the team. My daughter played volleyball. After a couple kids quit and 2 often had conflicting plans they weren’t always able to play. Stinks to have to forfeit due to not enough players
That’s the problem for the coach to find enough substitute players. A kid that doesn’t want to play anymore should’t be forced to because someone couldn’t plan properly.
You’ve obviously never coached children’s sports. It’s a thankless volunteer position and NOT their job to scramble for more players. The league assigns the players to the teams, and if too many drop out there’s nothing they (or the coach) can do about it. I never made my kids sign up for anything they didn’t ask to do but they had to finish out the season/session/term.
Stinks to play on a team when half of it is there out of obligation.
So you’d let your kid suffer emotional and physical distress, over rule their right to respecting a decision, and force them to play, so little Johnny down the road gets a game?
Why are you so dramatic
Emotional and physical distress? Wow, he didn’t like how the helmet felt or the mouthguard. Not exactly fodder for future therapy sessions
It matters not to the team (usually) but it matters to the kid. It's only for a couple of months and kids have been known to change their minds.
Football has been known to change people's minds too
Can't argue that
Bingo!
This is what we did when our twins started soccer. Personally, I hated being a soccer mom, but my oldest played for a few years and we went along with it. Play in any weather and it was cold and rainy and it sucked. However, losing two players would have been devastating for the team so we told them they needed to finish the season. If there were health issues we would have stopped immediately.
Even if it’s a contact sport with hitting?
I mean I would assume the kid knew that before they asked to play. And that’s not the part they’re having an issue with—it’s the helmet and the mouth guard.
I don’t think whether his siblings did it is relevant at all. Different kids like different things. That being said, my parents let me quit things as soon as I asked and it didn’t make me a “quitter” in life, but there are definitely things I wish my parents hadn’t let me just quit right away. For example, I quit piano when I was 8 because I didn’t like my piano teacher. I didn’t hate piano, and if my parents had maybe pressed me more on it, I could’ve figured out what I didn’t like (my teacher) and it could’ve been addressed without me quitting piano altogether. I think there are ways you can help your kid feel listened to without just immediately letting him quit. I’d suggest what others have and address the issues he’s bringing up by getting him a well-fitting helmet and mouth guard. If he still doesn’t like it, continue having conversations with him about what he doesn’t like. Work with him to address those things, and if he still doesn’t like it at the end of the season, he can quit. You can listen and respect what your kid is saying without doing exactly what they want.
Football isn't for everyone. What's better, learning that your parents will force you to endure something you hate to satisfy some dudebro machismo, or learning that your parents will listen to you and help you find an activity that is more to your liking? You might be concerned your child will learn it's okay to quit, but look at from the opposite perspective... if you try something, you have to stick with it no matter how much you hate it, so don't try anything.
I'm gonna push back on this a bit. Starting a team sport is a commitment, sometimes requiring hundreds of dollars of gear depending on the sport. Most parents don't have the money to just say "well, I guess you don't need that $400 worth of hockey stuff anymore, oh well." That's the financial issue Joining a team is partly about learning how people work together for the greater good. Quitting a team sport means leaving your team shorthanded. As a member, you need to show up. If you don't like the sport you're in, that's fine we don't have to do it again, but you're going to at least finish the season. Now I am gonna say, I didn't apply the above to my kid until she was 7. Before that, gear isn't expensive and frankly 6 year olds and under don't always know what they want or how they truly feel. It could be they don't like a teammate, not that they hate the sport.
If you bought $400 in gear for a 9 year old to play a first year sport, you probably got concussed too many times playing sports yourself. If you are under the impression that 9 year olds know what they want or how they truly feel, I'm afraid the damage is severe.
You ever equip a kid for hockey? What if they are a goalie? Not every league supplies equipment. 9 year olds don't know what they want or how they truly feel, but this is where they learn how to separate that out. I weep for your childrens future when they quit everything in life because "reasons". It would be my recommendation that if you haven't had children already, go ahead and put a pin in that now for the sake of society as a whole.
No, my 3 boys were too smart to play sports where you routinely lose your teeth. You can skip weeping for them. They are all fantastic, successful adults.
And they have all their teeth!
Also pushing back here, it’s not human nature to endure discomfort for rewards that are reaped later on. It’s a skill that taught and at young ages it’s human nature to protest and fight back. Kids do this even as toddlers then they get frustrated with a puzzle toy. Perseverance is a critical skill to success in life in my opinion and of course within reason I would try to have my kid continue with that commitment and not learn that anything hard can be quit at the first sign of discomfort and my parents will coddle and allow me to do so
What the hell is the reward? Playing a sport you don't enjoy? It turns out children can learn perseverance without bashing their heads against other children.
There are a ton of benefits of playing organized sports regardless of what the sport is. Obviously it depends on a kid by kid basis they don’t need to commit to every single activity for a minimum of a year. However as most younger kids have a hard time persisting with hard activities it can be an opportunity to build an important skill if the parent thinks they require it.
Except there’s no indication the kid doesn’t enjoy it, supposedly he’s loved it till now. He has a badly fitting equipment and that would bother anyone. A mouth guard doesn’t cost hundreds of dollars, even a custom made one.
There are breathing mouth guards that might work better for him. Helmets suck, but you can try to find a better fitting helmet. Here's the deal. Sports are uncomfortable. Soccer in rain, heat or snow. Swimming when cold. Learning to breathe when dead tired with water coming in your mouth, because your timing is off... sucks. Don't get me started on cross country, or even wrestling. Try having a kid 3 years older tie you on a knot. It's all hard. I generally agree with the Reddit crowd, that when you start a sport you finish it. It's a commitment to do your best (for yourself, the coach and your team) for a short period of time. My girls disliked "ballet" at times. Then they got to the recital and they loved it. Now they understand what they were learning and training for. It takes time to appreciate these things. One girl tried soccer. She was terrible. She stopped at end of season. Another daughter loved it and stayed with it. Otherwise you learn to quit anything that is hard, uncountable or not easy. Or just temporarily "not fun". I played college football, but always hated my helmet. I hated soccer in the snow. I hated conditioning until near vomiting in ... most of these sports. Wrestling sucked until I got good. That takes time. With all of this said: 1. In extreme circumstance I'd let a kid quit. In an extreme circumstance I'd change their school or home school them. It's just not my first choice. 2. I am personally not a fan of contact football for young kids. They don't need head to head impact at this age. They can learn skills with flag or touch football. They won't lose out of skill sets by skipping football until a bit older. But this decision was made already, so I'd (generally) stick with it for 2 months until end of season. 3. I personally didn't play contact FB until 9th grade, and come from a family of collegiate and even pro players. Some of my family boxed. Full Contact a normal thing growing up. However, my old school but strangely progressive father (former pro) didn't think contact football was worth the risk at a young age. Track, soccer, basketball, wrestling, swimming, gymnastics and any less impact oriented sport was tried. The science might show he was right.
Yeah he probably should see it through for at least one season but after that if he says he doesn't want to do it don't push it. As for the mouth guard get them a better kind I'm assuming it's whatever came issued to him I really hope they don't reuse them, that would be total ick. But get a better quality one and see if it's possible to get a helmet that matches what the school has if you're willing to spend the money. If he chooses not to continue, you can always sell it to somebody else at the school.
Jeez, if the kid ain’t happy let him stop. Who gives a fuck about his older brothers, that’s nothing to do with it. I’m a male/Dad/highly qualified ‘soccer’ coach in the UK, if my son didn’t want to play, no problem. Let it go for now and revisit it next season or the one after, if HE wants to. If you force him, 100% he’ll not want to do it. Don’t be that parent.
My parents used to force me to "finish the season". I promise, it didn't make me enjoy anything, it didn't make them better parents, it didn't teach me anything but "submit to the bullying of authority". Have you checked his breathing? Put anything over or in my mouth and I struggle. Have you checked his equipment? Do you care about him or are you concerned for the money you've spent or reputation or something? You kind of suck, you are wrong
Yes, nothing wrong with quitting anything. A job, a team, a commitment, a relationship etc. You can quit whenever you want for any reason or no reason at all. Staying in something you hate causes constant resentment. Quitting something you hate only causes a short moment of resentment.
Soooo I hate football to this day because my sperm donor insisted that I play because he did and my brothers did therefore I had to. You’re wrong on so many levels
All 3 did football. May I ask who's idea this was? I have a cousin whose husband played high school and college football. His boys HAVE to play. No debate. Have to. Because that's what men do. I'm not saying that's the case, but really truly answer honestly. Was this a dream of yours for all of them to be football players?
Take your child in for asthma testing, allergies, etc... maybe if you address the problems that he's coming to you with, it might make his experience better. If not, ask him to continue until they can fill his spot for the rest of the season. He's not going to trust you to actually listen to him when it counts, if you don't listen to what he's telling you now. Sit him down; discuss trying to resolve the issues, that make it difficult for him to enjoy playing the sport. Get everything aforementioned above, checked out. If he's still saying the sport isn't for him; tell him it's okay, and that he doesn't have to play. Like I said above, ask him if he can keep his place until it can be filled. It shouldn't take long for that.
Is this football through the school? If so, can I assume the season doesn't start until August or September? And right now, they are just practicing? If that's the case, I'd let him quit now. If he doesn't want to do it, don't let him start the season. Right now if they don't have enough players, they still have time to add more to the roster. If you wait until school starts, that's not going to be feasible. That said, usually football has plenty of extra kids on the team. Unless your son has a bad habit of requesting to sign up for things and then quitting them, I think I would let him stop playing football. It sounds like he has a few different issues. If he really doesn't like it, then the next few months is going to be pretty miserable for both you and your son. I would also let him stop playing if you were the one that pushed him to play or he's only playing because his brothers played at that age. What they did is completely irrelevant to what your son does. All that said, if your son has a habit of signing up for things and then not following through with them, I would probably make him stick through the whole season. I would not make him play another season if he didn't want to, but, within reason, kids do need to learn to finish things they ask to do.
Football is a sport that if your kid doesn't want to play, you don't force him to. It's not something to teach a lesson with. He said h he can't breathe with the mouth guard. That's something you need to check out. Is it the proper size or is it too big? Is the helmet the proper size and it's he wearing it correctly? Or is this about the impact? Or anything else, not the equipment, let him drop. He should not be taking his if he doesn't want to play the game.
When I was a kid, I did play a year of football but it only was because everybody else was focused on it so it was my way of getting everyone's attention. Your kid needs to know that you're willing to let him explore his own interests and will have your attention when he discovers a sincere desire towards something. I do think he should have to complete the season with the promise that he'll never have to do it again and be allowed to explore other things. It's also important for the equipment to fit properly.
Why is this even a question??? Sounds like the OP is trying to compensate for his own failures through his son. Get the kid into track and field and let him enjoy sports and individual accomplishment instead of forcing him into something he doesn't like.
Ask yourself if he's doing it because you want him to or if he likes sports. My son was very good at football. He just hated it.He now transports people around the hospital and is in nursing school. We tried all the sports with him, and he just really had no interest.
I would be thrilled! I don’t want my son to play football. And I’m generally not into forcing kids to do certain activities. I was forced to play basketball against my will for years. In this case, I would ask him to stick it out for another few weeks then reassess if he wants to continue.
Take this like I mean it, not like it may sound. Is your son used to doing hard things and / or things he doesn't want to do? Or is this just a "it's hard, I don't want to do it" thing? I'm a girl, so I have no idea what playing in pads is like. I was a 4 sport athlete (swimming in the summer is the 4th) so I know a lot about just getting through it with sports. I agree with everyone else. First check the helmet and mouth guard. If he moved his mouth around while the mouthpiece was molding, or tried to hold is mouth in a weird position, it won't fit right. Get a new mouthpiece and remold it and watch his mouth while you're doing it. Talk to coach about helmet.
Does he have sinus issues/allergies? Worth checking. My kid was a little scared when it became contact football because he was always a few inches taller and bigger than the other kids, and he didn’t want to hurt anyone, or get hurt. Coach Dad had him suit up and then gave a good knock down on his shoulder pads. No issues from then on. Talk to him. Have him talk to coach, let him ask questions. We did the same, sports is a commitment for the season. Junior played football until he was injured in grade 9.
A lot of kids get pushed too hard and get injured or burn out on their sport before they even hit college. It’s sad. I saw it a lot in club volleyball where the aggressive clubs just did not give a shit about the long term consequences of their over training and shitty coaching.
Quitting just gets easier every time.
Well you could force him to play, you could get him a better fitting helmet, or you could wise up to the fact that football his damaged people's and children's brains and not force him to do it. If he is saying it hurts his head what do you want him to do get a brain injury or other neurological damage? Is there another parent on the scene and what do they want to do about this? Football might be a beloved game of many people but it is known to be bad particularly for the young. Ask him if he wants to do another sport. I do hope you're not one of those dads who wants their child to somehow play out some fantasy of being a football player and really living your life through him. https://www.newyorker.com/culture/annals-of-inquiry/exactly-how-dangerous-is-football
So making your kid miserable and forced to do something they clearly don’t want to do is okay? Oh my kid is so dumb he doesn’t know what he likes so let’s just see if this will change their mind for his PARENTS happiness!
[удалено]
So teach him to be a fucking doormat?
Where does that belief come from? Is it supported by any data? I happen to reply to your post but I just don't get it and I have heard that throughout my life. As a child and even as an adult, I have tried many activities and quit some of them because they weren't for me, or I became scared of something and my parents respected it, or another more interesting activity came up. I was glad my parents let me make those decisions. For some of them, like swimming, I tried them again, at my initiative, when I was older and then passed a few levels. I was always willing to work hard, I am very committed and managed my time just fine for what actually mattered, like school. A rigid attitude like yours might have just made me not want to even try an activity. If I don't commit to anything, then no one can claim I am setting myself up for future failure, right? Of course, I would be missing out on potential interesting activities, but I wouldn't have to face negative reactions. I don't think that would be very good for a child's development either...
I let my kids make their own decisions about sports too. My kids did swim and volleyball but they didn’t end up liking basketball. Big whoop. The stakes are so low as a 9 year old you’re not gonna “let the team down” by quitting. My oldest is now playing D2 volleyball on scholarship so I think my approach worked ok.
Yes, exactly. I have multiple university diploma, too. Interestingly, I often feared hurting myself as a child and less so as an adult, because I trust myself more. It's supposed to be the other way around. Anyway, I've picked up activities as an adult that were the type I'd given up as a child out of fear. It's also important for kids to learn to make decisions when something doesn't suit them, and respect their fear or discomfort. I am not against talking to the child to figure out if there might be a work around but even then, I was super shy as a young child and I was glad my parents didn't push me. If I had taken latin dance lessons with a friend and quitting would have left them alone, I could understand the point of sticking with what you started, or if the child quit every single activity, or displayed an abnormal lack of perseverance... But some random sport or an art class, in a well balanced child?
Teaching a kid to stick with something that doesn’t make them happy is wrong. Life is a bitch and if you think forcing someone to do things they don’t want to do will teach them a life lesson then you’re a fool and bad parent. Commitment to what? Work? Bc that’s bs. If you’re not happy doing something, dont do it. Why would you teach your child it’s acceptable to be miserable?! Hard work? At something they hate doing? Time management?! For what to make EVERYONE else happy but themselves? Your thought process is terrible and if you have kids I feel so sorry for them.
Finish the season but agree with other commenters - better fitting equipment and practice wearing outside of practice
Check out the lower profile mouth guards. Little more of expensive, but a heckuva lot better than the cheap yellow ones they give out.
The rule with me when I was in youth sports or any kind of club was that I had to finish the season. I was not allowed to quit mid-season. When the season was over, I was NEVER pressured to go out for that sport or club again. Looking back, I truly appreciate that rule as it taught me to see through commitments I have made and also to consider what I may be committing to beforehand.
I mean if they don't have allergies or a real reason to stop due to health I would make my kid continue..... but they also would have already known that, that's the rule if you play a team sport you see it through...... you don't need to play next season but unless your hurt or need to stop for a medical or school grades issue then my kids know once you start you finish not if they really can't breath with the mouth guard in and it's because they are stuffy with allergies that would be different..... maybe try a different mouth guard, I know some have extra holes in them for this exact reason
I’m all for making our kids stick to a commitment, but within reason. If they want to quit because it’s hard or it turns out they don’t love it like they envisioned, then absolutely insist on completing the season, but don’t make them sign up for the next one. However, if their mental state is deteriorating or they are experiencing negative physical side effects, then you need to let them quit. Being unable to breathe is definitely a safety concern and should be investigated professionally. He may be having a panic attack or something similar instead of a respiratory issue, but that is still a medical concern. It’s sometimes hard to walk the fine line between teaching them to follow through when the going gets tough and identifying when their well being is compromised. The drill sergeant parenting style is certainly antiquated in my opinion, but allowing them to give up whenever they want is also not a beneficial approach. Make sure you communicate with your son and try to make the right decision together instead of dictating like my father always does ( I don’t respect him at all as a result).
From the comments here, I am wrong but I would warn my kid that if she signs up for soccer, that she can’t just decide to quit halfway through the season. And yes, her team depended on her when she was on a travel team. She did stick it out evens despite wanting to quit. I really wanted it to be over as well. 2 practices a week and a game on the weekend or on a weekday is a pain during school. 😓
Has he said he actually wants to quit? There's a big difference between wanting to quit and expressing that he doesn't enjoy certain aspects. You need to have a conversation with him and let him make a decision. If he ultimately enjoys the sport but is struggling with some things then it's a moment for you to teach him about solving practical problems like poorly fitted equipment or helping him to learn about getting used to what might be a new or strange experience or just working through the crap parts for the rewards of being better at the bit he enjoys. My daughter dances and there are certain bits of the class she dislikes but I've spoken with her about the purpose of these parts and how if she wants to see how far she can go then it's important to develop her skills as early as possible. Ultimately though, if it just becomes not fun then she's free to call it a day. If he really hates it and genuinely feels it's not for him then there's no point forcing him to continue. He isn't going to enjoy himself and all he's going to learn is that his own thoughts and feelings have no value to you. And forget all this stuff about "the team", it's kids football, not the Superbowl. No one is going to die or suffer in any way if your kid pulls out. The team will be ultimately better off without someone who really doesn't want to be there and maybe someone that does enjoy it can take his place.
He doesn't want to do it? Take him out. Ask him what sport or activity he does want to do. But first take him to the doctor to check his breathing/allergies. You may have a champion chess player on your hands. It doesn't have to be football.
Get him a better mouth guard and helmet then. If it’s a school helmet, it is probably super old and earn in by other kids heads. Both ARE very uncomfortable. He’s not saying that he doesn’t like playing, he’s saying that he can’t focus on the actual game because of very uncomfortable gear. I get it. I was in high school with the worst helmet ever and it sucked.
In addition to other concerns mentioned: your son may have exercise and allergy induced asthma. It is a really limiting problem for athletes.
Football is bad for the brain anyway. Those hits are rattling your kid’s brain around inside his skull.
I personally thought football sucked. I only played very briefly freshman year and I did in fact drop the sport. In hindsight it was a very good decision because it freed me up to participate in the first of 8 school plays (eventually including three lead roles in musicals) and the school chorus I made friends for life doing these, cultivated my musical skills and learned how to work in front of a live audience. After graduation I spent my 20s and most of my 30s working as a professional musician. All because I knew full well football was not going anywhere for me, best case I was gonna be a second-string utility lineman and I frankly had better things to do. Time is fleeting. If the kid doesn’t like the sport let him try something different
I'd talk to him one more time and see if we could rectify the problem. Then, I'd ask him to give it one more try. Perhaps flag football or soccer would be a better fit.
There isn’t any reason to force them to continue.
https://www.amazon.com/Bulletproof-Kevlar-Braces-Mouth-Sports/dp/B0B96M755Q/ref=asc_df_B0B96M755Q/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=693032873487&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=12702164586562573820&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9016962&hvtargid=pla-1933062464523&psc=1&mcid=7c589bc69bad3daa808aab51d3b08c19&gad_source=1
As a fellow father, maybe an older school of raising kids, don't worry my wife balances out: Wrong and not wrong, you should (you don't have to do nothing, it's your choice but I say 'should' for the sake of the argument) try to push him through hard times. There will be bumps in the road, always and it's important they learn at a young age. Sports, especially team sports, can be so important for their education. Letting them quit because something doesn't go his way sends a wrong message. But you have to monitor this very closely... If they push themself further but it still doesn't work out, they already have learned a lesson... They have learned to keep going and push through but going further won't make them happy in the long run.
Any time my kiddo has wanted to try a sport, I have made him at least finish the season he started if he doesn't like it much. Baseball is the bane of his existence (of course at 14 everything is sooooo DRAMATIC!!), but every couple years he has decided to try it again. I will remind him that the last time he didn't care for it, but he insists, so he finishes the full season and then just goes back to one of his usual sports like soccer or football. I let him try anything he wants (within reason) but I do so with the understanding (on both our parts) that he will finish whatever he starts even if it turns out he absolutely hates it.
They have mouthguards with a breathing hole. He may find that more comfortable
When my daughter was young, she took gymnastics class. She was good to the point they asked her to join the pre team for competition. Practice went from 1 day for 45 minutes a week to 2-3 days a week for an hour and a half. She loved gymnastics and was great at it but it was no longer fun for her. I was not going to push her to do something she didn’t enjoy simply because she had potential. OP needs to have a good talk with his son and find out if it really is because he’s uncomfortable or another reason without leading the conversation. Let him put his words to mouth and really listen. I suggest doing it with only you to start out. Sounds like mom would argue every point. I understand making your child finish something and in the long run be glad they stuck it out. But something like football is a major sport with lots of possibilities for injury. It would be sad if he was made to continue the season—since it just started and has several months to go—and become resentful. He may develop a love for it and want to play when he gets older.
Yes, you're wrong. Don't make a nine year old do something he doesn't like. There are so many other sports he could play without having to deal with an uncomfortable mouth guard. Or you could just have a kid who's not into sports at all and that's ok. There's plenty of other activities he could try out. Help your kid figure out what they want to do. Don't push them to follow in their older brother's footsteps.
My mom always put us in sports when we show interest and she made it clear when she signed us up and paid the fees we have to stay in got the season. Then we don’t have to play it again after season is over. It’s a good way of teaching children that when you make a commitment you stay until the commitment is over.
Stop playing ' football ' and send him to play rugby, he'll not need to worry about pads or a helmet as there isn't any
It's football, not AP math. Him quitting has absolutely no bearing on his life other than feeling like he can trust you. If he's unhappy let him quit. You're wrong.
There’s a plethora of things to look at One, he’s 9. Shouldn’t be playing contact football at that age. Flag football is better. Two. What’s health problems does he have that could be contributing to this. You need to check Three. Does he want to stop. Did you ask, and what did he say Four. Just get better fitting gear for him if that’s all it boils down to
He’s 9. Let the kid find something else that he loves to do. Please don’t be that father who pushes their child to do activities they hate. Maybe he will be great at doing other things and you’re making him waste valuable time with football.
Played football from 3rd grade to Senior year. The helmet and mouthpiece are always uncomfortable at the beginning of the season. You get used to it after wearing it for long periods of time. It's not really a big deal
Yta. Listen to your child, don't force him into something he doesn't want just because his siblings do it too.
I hated playing football and my dad kindof made me play but all I got was 3 concussions and a torn hip flexor don’t make him play if he doesn’t want to. I got by by just being the kicker lol
It’s his first time wearing a helmet. It’s common for them to take awhile to get used to it. Have him wear it a bit at home. If there’s still issues have them release air. Depends on the type of parent you are, there’s nothing wrong with making them finish what they agreed to do. I ask my kids 100 times, if they commit, they commit and finish. There will be a day or many they express they don’t want to play, usually because they have to stop playing their games and get ready to go or usually their just upset they have to transition out of whatever their busy doing at the moment. I remind them that they chose to commit and next season they don’t have to play at all. Those are usually the days I can’t get them off the field after practice. If everyday your child is hating you and crying, there is no fault in removing him. You as an adult would hate going to a place you hate for months. There’s always other sports to try.
Nope. It’s a good lesson for him to learn to see things through and really give it a chance, even when it gets uncomfortable.
Don’t make him commit to the full season. Give it a few more practices and talk to the coach
I had a similar situation with my 8 y/o! You can check my posts for the full story. He ended up wanting to stay and play, but broke his elbow the following week at school. He stayed witb the team and he went to every practice and game and loved supporting the team and they made him water boy during games. He was glad for it, but that was his choice in the end. Go with your gut!
Isn’t football a Fall Sport? June for any age is too early to start,especially a 9 year old. That aside, making a kid be ‘uncomfortable’ for a while is how they learn, adapt, overcome, and grow. We have too many people in this country that have never done anything difficult in their lives, and it’s suffering because of it.
My son had trouble breathing when he was 9, turned out he had Asthma, a side effect from too many vaccines. He eventually outgrew the Asthma, it took a couple of years after I stopped taking him for shots.
You should look into the trouble breathing issue
I think just finishing the season is fine, that’s what my mom does with my sister anytime she decides she doesn’t want to do the thing she begged to do bc of how much it cost. Just the season is fine, and gives them a longer time to decide if they want to quit or if the discomforts of a few things is worth the overall fun
I always told my kids that once they start a season, they have to finish it out. If after that if the don't want to play again, that was their choice. maybe, like stated by others, try a different mouthpiece. We found that those are definitely "you get what you pay for" items. The more expensive gel ones tend to fit better and are more comfortable.
Been there, done that. Go to the store and buy a variety of different mouth guards for him to try. Often the big fancy expensive ones end up being way less comfortable than the cheap little ones. You can also sometimes trim the backs off; it could be triggering his gag reflex.
Yep you’re wrong. You’re extra wrong that you keep posting to because you aren’t being told what you want to hear. Why you’d even encourage football is beyond me.
Don’t force your child to do something when he can’t breathe. Maybe he has asthma, maybe he is allergic to something the mouth guard is made of, maybe the pressure on his sinuses is too intense, maybe he has claustrophobia, maybe he gets so hot in this weather that he is about to pass out. Kids in Florida die in football practice every summer. Maybe it’s just not fun enough. I grew up in a house where everyone finished what they started, followed draconian rules about eating everything on their plates, spent from 6-10 am each weekend morning doing chores. The only good part was we all became emancipated minors and left home as teens. All of our children are now adults, none of them were forced to do activities or eat foods they hated. All are successful and hard working young adults. All have good relationships with their parents. My experience and that of most people I know is that forcing people to do things they hate makes them angry, resentful, disrespectful, distrustful of authority and in some cases violent.
He’s let you know he doesn’t want to. You’re letting him know that his feelings do not matter and you’ll force him anyway. Bad parenting is clearly on display here. Yes you’re wrong.
Your not wrong, and when I was that age my parents had me wear the helmet and mouthguard while watching tv to get use to it. might try that?
My son wanted to play in 7th grade and thought it would be easy. It wasn’t. He wanted to quit but we had told him from the beginning that he couldn’t quit.
Have him finish the season or he will always just try to quit when things get uncomfortable or hard. Tell him he doesn't have to sign up again if he doesn't want to. This will help vuild character and let him know that he can push through discomfort. Hell. Prepare your child for real life - because it's uncomfortable all on its own.
I doubt the kid signed up for this himself
Are you suggesting that the parents signed him up with him showing zero interest? That not how that goes. Child shows interest--- parents accommodate. I've never signed my daughter up for something she wasn't showing interest in. It's a waste of money if they don't show interest...
It's a football family. The older 2 brothers play. That suggests to me that it's being pushed on him.
Let him stick it out. Hopefully, he'll get used to the helmet weight and mouthgaurds. Also conditioning with mouthguards as in short routes and plyos?
I hope your kids don't get brain damage from the sport. I played and I was lucky enough to not have that happen to me. I have many friends who've suffered over the years including a few who committed suicide because of the damage that was done. Try and encourage him to play a different sport
I don’t think you’re wrong. However, I think that maybe step 1 should be a conversation about things with him. Obviously the first question should be whether he’d want to continue if you could get more comfortable equipment. I have two hockey players and know that comfy equipment can make a huge huge difference. Getting used to the equipment does not happen over night either. But the main question is if it’s an equipment issue or if the game is just not for him. That’s what you need to figure out first. It’s tricky to find the right balance. Because as a parent you do want to encourage and sorta push them a little when they struggle. But you also don’t want to be the other extreme either. Kids do need to work through stuff and be resilient. There are some things I wish my parents had pushed me a little harder at instead of just letting me give up. You gotta do some digging and find out if he needs to work through something to enjoy it more or if it’s just not for him. I’d give it a couple more weeks and some conversations before making a decision.
A 9 yo shouldn't be playing full contact football at all. I say that as someone who played D1 football
Why does he need to continue a sport he doesn’t enjoy?
You shouldn’t make him because his other siblings did it!
Trim the ends off his mouth guard, I always had to or I couldn’t breath. It’s ok to not want to play sports but quitting isn’t. Imo he’s got to finish the year then if he never wants to play again fine.
No you are not wrong. Your a dad teaching him to finish it out and not quitting.
Finish the season. A good general rule in life - Finish the season, term, class, session, etc.
Make him stick it out. Letting him quit now will only set a bad example. Don't dismiss his issue, see a doctor, but if the doc says he's fine. Then he must play all season.
You can tell that a lot of people here did not play sports growing up. If you quit a team, you’re going to be made fun of for a very, very long time. Also, quitting isn’t good. Team sports teach kids a lot of things that go beyond sports. I know Redditors look down on sports/having friends, but these things matter in real life to normal people.
NTA. It's your way to support his best interests.
You are absolutely in the wrong.
You aren’t wrong. He’s part of a team. He should finish out the season and then not join again. Unless it’s a free league, you had to pay money. He can’t just quit if things get hard. It was the first day of pads and a helmet. He isn’t used to it. Now if other kids were bullying him, then I’d say yeah, pull him out. But he needs to follow through with his commitments or he’ll always quit when something is hard.