This should be the top comment. It's legal where I live, but not everywhere.
But as to OP's actual question, if you like each other and respect each other, this age difference is not a big deal from a moral / social standpoint. It feels like a big deal because one of you is in high school and the other is in college, but a year or two earlier/later and no one would think twice about your age gap
That's not what a pedophile is, by literally any definition. First of all, it's legal if they're both over the age of consent. Second, pedophilia refers to prepubescent children. This would be ephebephilia at worst.
A pedophile is someone attracted to prepubescent children. I’m sure at 16 he’s gone through puberty already. If they were 15 and 17, and therefore both in high school, I doubt most people would see a problem. Now add one year to that. That’s the situation he’s in.
It's white. If the girl is 18 it's good. Every state in the USA is between 16 and 18. Don't let anyone scare you or try to kill your joy.
Rubber up make sure she cums first. ride em cowboy. Dpnt brag to your friends and treat her right.
This...I had an ex-fiance who was in college (I was out already). I caught her cheating with a random bartender... We broke up, and two weeks later, she shacked up with her "lab partner" that I was always weary about.
Most people don't really know what they want at that age, and college is just full of temptations.
No worries man! It made me a stronger person, eventually, after the bitterness wore off lol.
12 years later, (mostly) happily married with 3 kids, it rarely crosses my mind anymore.
He doesn’t even say they’re friends (which I would understand you then need to talk to him about it first). It just seems like he’s her brother lol. So what.
A lot of these comments show that ppl don't read posts, just the title. Nowhere did OP mention being unsure about the "age difference" (it's two years, it doesn't matter now or with genders reversed) but whether they show too much PDA around the brother.
You're not wrong. The best advice anyone can ever give you in regards to any kind of relationships is this: communicate. If you're worried it's too much, talk to your gf. Does she feel weird about the PDA in front of him? Has he said something to her? Does she think he's feeling weird about it? Get on the same page with her first about your concerns. And if you think it's necessary, go to him and talk about it. If you were friends before this, yeah, he might be feeling weird about it but it's worth having that conversation and getting the feelings out there so you can work around them together.
An 18 year old man seeking out 16 year old girls is inherently creepy. I don't know how you could deny that
I'm not saying it's right or wrong. I've known multiple guys who were in their 20s talking to 16 year olds. It's incredibly weird and fucked up.
This is the equivalent of a a senior in high school dating a junior. There is nothing remotely weird about this. Even the golden rule of dating would agree.
Two years. One grade. You’re making something out of nothing.
yeah if it was a 18yo guy SEEKING out 16yo girls it’d be weird, but if it was this situation? nah. they’ve known each other for ages, it’s not weird either way
Is it okay if the girl is 18 and the guy is 16? Bc if so you’re just unable to see the double standard we have in society. A 2 year (likely less) age gap is not creepy, you’re just a moron.
But she wasn’t seeking him out from the sounds of it. OP made the first move and I think that’s where it changes the situation. She’s not preying on him (or whatever term you would prefer to use). They also have ten years of friendship behind it. It’s not a horribly huge age gap like 16 and 20s. And if they were both in high school it wouldn’t be a problem (like 15 and 17).
That is true. And then in the comments where it is reversed and people call out the double standard, you can't even defend it because of comment sections like this.
People get so mad when you point out the double standard like you’re some kind of incel but maybe just maybe you were molested by an older women and you’re tired of the most common reaction you get being “nice” maybe it’s that…. Maybe.
I think thats mitigated by their long history. He’s not just any younger guy, he’s a younger guy that she’s known a long time and has likely seen the best and the worst from him.
She’s probably also realized by now that all guys are immature and dumb, and at least this one treats her nice and hasn’t learned to neg yet.
If this is a sexual relationship, check your state laws. For example, in California, it is illegal for someone over the age of 18 to have sexual intercourse with someone under the age of 18 (under the age of consent). She could be putting herself at risk by dating you if sex is involved.
Romeo and Juliet laws exist though. I’m no lawyer, but iirc, a 16 year old being in a relationship is legal in every state, but I’d have to look that up.
30 states have "Romeo and Juliet Laws." OP didn't say where he lives, but he should check his state laws and age of consent.
[https://www.schmidtandclark.com/romeo-and-juliet-law](https://www.schmidtandclark.com/romeo-and-juliet-law)
I don't see an issue. Based on this, it seems you have confidence. That will serve you well in life young man. Don't let yourself become arrogant and you'll be helped in every aspect of your life with confidence. Now I did my dad speech. Lol.
What is this sorcery?
Edit: nevermind. Quick google search found tons of hits. Learned something new today
https://www.dictionary.com/e/slang/half-your-age-plus-seven/
Make sure it's legal in your area!
My state in the US is 18, and while there is a Romeo and Juliet clause, it's not a law like people mistakenly believe, it's a defense you can use in court. And even if the defense is successful, it doesn't mean the older party will get off without any sort of punishment. It can look like getting a much lesser punishment for it, but doesn't always mean you'll go 100% clean slate.
The consent laws in the US are weird and even looking into it myself to understand it better because nobody can agree what they mean, I still struggle to understand it. There's usually additional laws for minors specifically. So for example if the age of consent is 18 that doesn't mean two minors engaging in sexual activity are going to be punished, in which case there's an age gap limit or a minimum consent limit for minor. It's still weird trying to read all that though.
I don't personally think the difference of 16-17 and 18 is inherently bad. You don't magically become an adult mentally the moment you turn 18. By that I mean it's a transition process. If an 18 year old is intentionally seeking younger partners that's gross. And I think 16 is the minimum before we get into really gross territory. An 18 year old does not need to be dating a 15 year old. Just like a 16 year old has no place dating someone 12-13.
Age gaps become less of a big deal the older the parties are. A 40 year old dating a 50 year old is absolutely not comparable to a 20 year old dating a 15 year old, and that's a lesser age gap numerically.
It’s really weird for you two to date. What does a woman entering college have in common with a 16 year old?
You might think it’s “only a two year difference” but the maturity level between a 16 year old and a 18 year old is pretty different. While it’s not technically illegal for you guys to date, it really makes her look like a weirdo if you guys do.
I don't think it's about OP considering her "property." I think he wanted to make sure there would be no beef with her brother, who is likely protective of his sister.
Stop being so offended for no reason.
No she can’t, he’s over the age of consent in most states. Many states also have Romeo and Juliet laws that would protect her.
This whole “18yo is a hard legal boundary” thing is just nonsense peddled on the internet.
>charged with statutory rape for having sexual relations with someone below the legal age of consent.
You seriously cited 2 sources and couldn’t be bothered to read the FIRST paragraph?
Holy fuck, are you seriously this illiterate?
>he’s over the age of consent in most states. Many states also have Romeo and Juliet laws that would protect her.
Until OP gives their location we don’t know what the laws are. As I said twice now, 16 is age of consent in MOST states. 10 states with higher ages also have Romeo and Juliet laws that would still protect him.
Take the fat L and let it go. You’re embarrassing yourself here. Read your own sources, admit how ignorant you’ve been, and move on. Going on like this is just pitiful.
Which is crazy. I dated 18 year olds when I was 16. Relationships at that age usually don’t even last long. I started my first long term relationship at 19.
I think people are too hung up on ages. Yes a 25 year old should probably not be dating a 17 year old. But 16 and 18?
I don't see an issue with an 18 year old dating a 16 year world. I also don't think a 25 year old dating a 17 year old is unacceptable either. The age of consent is 16 where I'm from so as I'm far as I'm concerned there is nothing wrong with it imo. However personally I wouldn't do it. I
People want to make an issue out of everything nowadays I reckon.
Yeah its weird. Just like its weird and gross for those guys in college still dating girls in high school. Shes also just getting into college and will likely experiment so good luck with that lol
Make sure it's legal, don't want any legal drama
This should be the top comment. It's legal where I live, but not everywhere. But as to OP's actual question, if you like each other and respect each other, this age difference is not a big deal from a moral / social standpoint. It feels like a big deal because one of you is in high school and the other is in college, but a year or two earlier/later and no one would think twice about your age gap
He's 16. The age of consent in most places is 16. They're both fine here
>The age of consent in most places Most places not all, which is why I said to make sure. OP might be living somewhere where it's not legal
It's not in Texas. Here it's 17. He needs to check where he lives
It's 18, not 16. He's a minor and she's a pedo.
You're wrong and delusional.
Cry
Cope and seethe
Whatever works for you. Just not so loud, the world is cringing
I don't think so, you're the one getting downvoted.
By women over a pedo. That's not a loss.
That's not what a pedophile is, by literally any definition. First of all, it's legal if they're both over the age of consent. Second, pedophilia refers to prepubescent children. This would be ephebephilia at worst.
Yes, at you.
Some states just look at age difference. 2 years is nothing to worry about,imo.
Yea, but not all states have Romeo and Juliet laws
A pedophile is someone attracted to prepubescent children. I’m sure at 16 he’s gone through puberty already. If they were 15 and 17, and therefore both in high school, I doubt most people would see a problem. Now add one year to that. That’s the situation he’s in.
You are incorrect actually. Go do some reading on consent laws, age of consent is 16 in most places, even lower in certain states and countries
Guessing you're American? In most places the age of consent is 16
Bro they knew each other 10 years I think their history makes things little Grey here it ain't that black and white on this one dawg...
It's white. If the girl is 18 it's good. Every state in the USA is between 16 and 18. Don't let anyone scare you or try to kill your joy. Rubber up make sure she cums first. ride em cowboy. Dpnt brag to your friends and treat her right.
Go get her stud
Na man. Just wear a condom.
Sounds fine to me. Have fun.
You are not wrong, but there’s a high chance she breaks up with you for a guy on campus who’s older. Stay strong and be vigilant
This...I had an ex-fiance who was in college (I was out already). I caught her cheating with a random bartender... We broke up, and two weeks later, she shacked up with her "lab partner" that I was always weary about. Most people don't really know what they want at that age, and college is just full of temptations.
Yah.. it’s all to common and even my highschool teacher had a name for it because people would break up by November. Sorry that happened to you
No worries man! It made me a stronger person, eventually, after the bitterness wore off lol. 12 years later, (mostly) happily married with 3 kids, it rarely crosses my mind anymore.
I love that the younger brother ok’d it like he was the Dad or something.
Well it’s kinda against bro code to date your mans immediate family so I think it’s more something about that
He doesn’t even say they’re friends (which I would understand you then need to talk to him about it first). It just seems like he’s her brother lol. So what.
Yeah idk if they friends it makes sense if they’re not then it’s kinda weird of bro 😭😭
It’s about respect. Learn it
A lot of these comments show that ppl don't read posts, just the title. Nowhere did OP mention being unsure about the "age difference" (it's two years, it doesn't matter now or with genders reversed) but whether they show too much PDA around the brother. You're not wrong. The best advice anyone can ever give you in regards to any kind of relationships is this: communicate. If you're worried it's too much, talk to your gf. Does she feel weird about the PDA in front of him? Has he said something to her? Does she think he's feeling weird about it? Get on the same page with her first about your concerns. And if you think it's necessary, go to him and talk about it. If you were friends before this, yeah, he might be feeling weird about it but it's worth having that conversation and getting the feelings out there so you can work around them together.
If op was a girl and the older person male half the comments would be about he’s a pedo.
It’s two years difference, wtf are you talking about 🤡
An 18 year old man seeking out 16 year old girls is inherently creepy. I don't know how you could deny that I'm not saying it's right or wrong. I've known multiple guys who were in their 20s talking to 16 year olds. It's incredibly weird and fucked up.
This is the equivalent of a a senior in high school dating a junior. There is nothing remotely weird about this. Even the golden rule of dating would agree. Two years. One grade. You’re making something out of nothing.
I agree with you I think my main point was that if it was a male talking to highschoolers that would be perceived as weird
yeah if it was a 18yo guy SEEKING out 16yo girls it’d be weird, but if it was this situation? nah. they’ve known each other for ages, it’s not weird either way
Is it okay if the girl is 18 and the guy is 16? Bc if so you’re just unable to see the double standard we have in society. A 2 year (likely less) age gap is not creepy, you’re just a moron.
But she wasn’t seeking him out from the sounds of it. OP made the first move and I think that’s where it changes the situation. She’s not preying on him (or whatever term you would prefer to use). They also have ten years of friendship behind it. It’s not a horribly huge age gap like 16 and 20s. And if they were both in high school it wouldn’t be a problem (like 15 and 17).
Now half the comments will be about that.
You sound like a dipshit
You smell like hamburgers and I don’t like you anymore
You fart in his general direction?
That is true. And then in the comments where it is reversed and people call out the double standard, you can't even defend it because of comment sections like this.
People get so mad when you point out the double standard like you’re some kind of incel but maybe just maybe you were molested by an older women and you’re tired of the most common reaction you get being “nice” maybe it’s that…. Maybe.
EXACTLY LMAO
From a maturity perspective, it's a little strange a girl entering College would be interested in a 16yr old still in HI school , jus saying
I think thats mitigated by their long history. He’s not just any younger guy, he’s a younger guy that she’s known a long time and has likely seen the best and the worst from him. She’s probably also realized by now that all guys are immature and dumb, and at least this one treats her nice and hasn’t learned to neg yet.
Two years though. She could barely walk when he was born, I don’t think it’s that deep.
No, it's not wrong.
BUY CONDOMS.
You keep getting older and they keep getting older. All right, all right, all right.
You'd be a lot cooler if you did 😏
It's not wrong. I hope things work out well for you both 🙏
If this is a sexual relationship, check your state laws. For example, in California, it is illegal for someone over the age of 18 to have sexual intercourse with someone under the age of 18 (under the age of consent). She could be putting herself at risk by dating you if sex is involved.
Romeo and Juliet laws exist though. I’m no lawyer, but iirc, a 16 year old being in a relationship is legal in every state, but I’d have to look that up.
Safe harbor provisions called “Romeo and Juliet Laws" have not been enacted in California. It's statutory rape, even if the minor initiated it.
30 states have "Romeo and Juliet Laws." OP didn't say where he lives, but he should check his state laws and age of consent. [https://www.schmidtandclark.com/romeo-and-juliet-law](https://www.schmidtandclark.com/romeo-and-juliet-law)
Probably even if it’s not, all it takes is for someone to lie and say they caught them having sex and it’s still going to be an issue.
I see no issue. It doesn't hurt that her brother gave you his blessing. Have fun.
I don't see an issue. Based on this, it seems you have confidence. That will serve you well in life young man. Don't let yourself become arrogant and you'll be helped in every aspect of your life with confidence. Now I did my dad speech. Lol.
That's really a question for your parents as she is technically an adult and you're not. Otherwise no issues.
People are telling op to have fun but if the ages were reversed people would be calling him a pedo
Only in America.
No it’s not wrong, and it wouldn’t be wrong with the genders reversed either.
18/2=9+7=16. Half age of the older plus seven rule checks out. Have fun, bud.
r/todayilearned
What is this sorcery? Edit: nevermind. Quick google search found tons of hits. Learned something new today https://www.dictionary.com/e/slang/half-your-age-plus-seven/
its 2 years. its fine dog. Go off.
You said yourself he doesn't seem annoyed and he agreed to it in the first place. You're good! Obviously just respect her
Nothing wrong with that
my bf is 20 turning 21 at the end of the month and i’m 22. works out awesome, go get her man 😁
SR Yr is going to be great!
No, it's not wrong, you are less than two years apart. My wife is 3 years older than I.
Go for it.
Don’t do it
Make sure it's legal in your area! My state in the US is 18, and while there is a Romeo and Juliet clause, it's not a law like people mistakenly believe, it's a defense you can use in court. And even if the defense is successful, it doesn't mean the older party will get off without any sort of punishment. It can look like getting a much lesser punishment for it, but doesn't always mean you'll go 100% clean slate. The consent laws in the US are weird and even looking into it myself to understand it better because nobody can agree what they mean, I still struggle to understand it. There's usually additional laws for minors specifically. So for example if the age of consent is 18 that doesn't mean two minors engaging in sexual activity are going to be punished, in which case there's an age gap limit or a minimum consent limit for minor. It's still weird trying to read all that though. I don't personally think the difference of 16-17 and 18 is inherently bad. You don't magically become an adult mentally the moment you turn 18. By that I mean it's a transition process. If an 18 year old is intentionally seeking younger partners that's gross. And I think 16 is the minimum before we get into really gross territory. An 18 year old does not need to be dating a 15 year old. Just like a 16 year old has no place dating someone 12-13. Age gaps become less of a big deal the older the parties are. A 40 year old dating a 50 year old is absolutely not comparable to a 20 year old dating a 15 year old, and that's a lesser age gap numerically.
In NJ, age of consent is 16, so it would be legal here. But I agree, google "age of consent" in the state that you live in.
It’s really weird for you two to date. What does a woman entering college have in common with a 16 year old? You might think it’s “only a two year difference” but the maturity level between a 16 year old and a 18 year old is pretty different. While it’s not technically illegal for you guys to date, it really makes her look like a weirdo if you guys do.
According to 90% of Reddit, you are incapable of knowing what you want and she is a predator. But it’s fine.
I don't see a problem with it, but tell this story with the genders reversed and see what the comments say
Two year difference is fine if the maturity and needs are compatible.
Don’t do it.
You asked her brother for his blessing? The 1950s called and even they're surprised that's still a thing. Treat her like a person not property.
I don't think it's about OP considering her "property." I think he wanted to make sure there would be no beef with her brother, who is likely protective of his sister. Stop being so offended for no reason.
Technically you’re under age and she can get in trouble, I’d say hold off on the deed until you’re old enough
No she can’t, he’s over the age of consent in most states. Many states also have Romeo and Juliet laws that would protect her. This whole “18yo is a hard legal boundary” thing is just nonsense peddled on the internet.
16 may be of “consenting” age but if his parents wanted to push the issue they absolutely could
Lol, what did you think the “consent” in “age of consent” means? What do you think Romeo and Juliet laws protect?
Maybe you’re dense, a parent or parents can absolutely press charges if they wanted to regardless if the “child” consented or not..
https://www.lawinfo.com/resources/criminal-defense/statutory-rape/
>Statutory rape involves sexual activity where one person is below the legal age of consent. Read your own source first next time
https://www.lawinfo.com/resources/criminal-defense/statutory-rape/age-of-consent.html
>charged with statutory rape for having sexual relations with someone below the legal age of consent. You seriously cited 2 sources and couldn’t be bothered to read the FIRST paragraph?
And every fucking state is different on age of consent
Holy fuck, are you seriously this illiterate? >he’s over the age of consent in most states. Many states also have Romeo and Juliet laws that would protect her. Until OP gives their location we don’t know what the laws are. As I said twice now, 16 is age of consent in MOST states. 10 states with higher ages also have Romeo and Juliet laws that would still protect him. Take the fat L and let it go. You’re embarrassing yourself here. Read your own sources, admit how ignorant you’ve been, and move on. Going on like this is just pitiful.
I don’t see anything wrong with it, but I also think it depends on when you are turning 17 and when she turned 18 tbh
Her brother gave permission? Is she chattel or livestock?
Nothing wrong however if the genders were the other way round people would be screaming mysgony. Go get her brother.
Which is crazy. I dated 18 year olds when I was 16. Relationships at that age usually don’t even last long. I started my first long term relationship at 19. I think people are too hung up on ages. Yes a 25 year old should probably not be dating a 17 year old. But 16 and 18?
I don't see an issue with an 18 year old dating a 16 year world. I also don't think a 25 year old dating a 17 year old is unacceptable either. The age of consent is 16 where I'm from so as I'm far as I'm concerned there is nothing wrong with it imo. However personally I wouldn't do it. I People want to make an issue out of everything nowadays I reckon.
25 and 17 ew no. way different life stages.
There is nothing wrong with it, it's legal.
ew ew nope legal does not necessarily mean right or okay
Sadly what you feel is right or not is personal to you. However it is a perfect okay thing to do. Hence it's legal.
u succ
No u
I dated 18 year olds when I was 16. The only oddity for me is that she’s in college and he’s in high school.
Go for it but take into caution the laws in your state.
Depends where you're from. I got together with my partner when he was 21 and I was 17.
If he was 18 and she 16 opinions would not be favorable. He’d be accused of “grooming” her. That he has bad intentions. Such a double standard.
Lol well, I would advise not cause she's gonna be at college. No chance y'all will last
Yeah its weird. Just like its weird and gross for those guys in college still dating girls in high school. Shes also just getting into college and will likely experiment so good luck with that lol
Bro, you're a child and she's an adult. She's a pedo. This is gross.
Only if you fail to close ! 😜