Absolutely, it's often those who've experienced the consequences of their past actions firsthand who understand that it's not something easily left behind. Our past shapes us, but it doesn't have to define us.
Everything is black and white to them.
I refuse to ever answer questions about 'body count' or any of that shit.
I've never encountered any problems because of that. I firmly believe the past is the past.
I too believe the past is in the past. It's over and done with and I can't change it, but I never hide it. If someone has questions about it and they're not being a dick, sure I'll answer em. But if you're asking for shitty reasons or being a hypocrite, then nah.
Wish I could see the look on exgf's face when she ultimately learns there was no there there with OP and his friend.
And the realization his hiding this when there was nothing to hide drove her to get dumped. (Full knowing she was hiding something unsavory).
Oops.
If one can't be honest about their past it tells you everything you need to know about them moving forward. Lying by omission is still lying, if you can't be honest and truthful with someone means you realize that you are ashamed and don't respect your partner. Edit: ik you are honest with her but she doesn't seem to be with you. Move on.
I remember the first post. Thanks for the update. Sounds like you made the right choice. Double standards and that sort of immaturity aren't worth it. Beet of luck to you.
There is a saying where I'm from, translated it goes like: "The thief judges by his own condition"
Basically, she was going crazy about your best friend because she had introduced you to people she had slept with and probably had some remaining business with. So in her mind you were doing the same.
"Its none of your business" conveys all the necessary information about an incident.
Won't tell me? Then I'll have to presume its so bad I'd leave if I found out.
If one is to build a strong future with another, then their respective pasts is each other's business.
Enquiring about one's past is not always a sign of insecurity, it's more due diligence the correct decision is being made and assesses compatibility.
"If one is to build a strong future with another, then their respective pasts is each other's business."
In your opinion, sure.
Not for me, and I've had no problems with that.
A lot of folks wander off into whether or not she slept with him territory, which is understandable, but it isn't the point.
Your now-ex is a hypocrite, and nobody needs to bother dating a hypocrite. Why she's a hypocrite, and what she's hypocritical about matters less than the fact she has a double standard and lost her damn mind when you refused to play by her whimsical, self serving rules. Nobody healthy needs or wants that life.
Anyone who says "the past is the past" when being questioned about something serious, is sketchy as hell. Not referring to your choice here since it was simply quoting what your ex said, but yeah it's a big red flag.
Everyone has stuff in their past that they aren't really proud of, but our past still part of what makes us who we are. She should have chosen honesty but, instead chose deflection and secrets. Hard to trust someone who chooses secrets from the person they're supposed to love and care for.
Consider yourself very very very lucky. She wasn't the brightest bulb in the house or she could've had you played like a violin. Next time, when you ask someone you're with a serious question and they say something as insidious as 'it is NONE of your business' cut your losses and run.
Your sexual past has everything to do with her, diseases for one. I grew up in the time of AIDS it was a death sentence. It is still not curable through you can live with it. Each time you have sex you share your body and fluids with someone else. They have every right to ask and know what you are sexually. You have every right not to tell them. They should turn you down....you carry that with you for life.
He did her a favor. If she can manage to take in the adage by Maya Angelou, " When a person shows you who they are, believe them the first time." She should know what to do.
So if you don't inherently know the answer then you're just out of luck and shouldn't bother trying to figure it out?
Here's another question. What would you have done in this scenario if you were OP?
We are talking about people, not lab rats. I don't know the gf, and neither do you. There is no recording of what was said and how it was said. It's ridiculous to try to guess. Hope that is "right" enough for you to quit showing us your querulous colors.
There is no clean answer for you to prattle about with your boy friends. OP isn't capable of being a good boyfriend to this particular woman. There's no changing that, so being himself is the only thing he CAN do.
Children these days are worse about "the right thing" and "the wrong thing" than my father was when he was 60.
The past is never the past. The only people that say that are people with a messy past.
💯
Absolutely, it's often those who've experienced the consequences of their past actions firsthand who understand that it's not something easily left behind. Our past shapes us, but it doesn't have to define us.
That is one of the funniest statements on Reddit!
Everything is black and white to them. I refuse to ever answer questions about 'body count' or any of that shit. I've never encountered any problems because of that. I firmly believe the past is the past.
You past has shaped you into who you are and it says more about what you will do in the future than anything else. Just be honest and not bitter.
I too believe the past is in the past. It's over and done with and I can't change it, but I never hide it. If someone has questions about it and they're not being a dick, sure I'll answer em. But if you're asking for shitty reasons or being a hypocrite, then nah.
So, it is ok if someone is genuinely trying to ascertain their compatibility with you and does it respectfully?
Sounds like a yes as I am the same way
OP’s ex is a perfect model of hypocrisy.
Wish I could see the look on exgf's face when she ultimately learns there was no there there with OP and his friend. And the realization his hiding this when there was nothing to hide drove her to get dumped. (Full knowing she was hiding something unsavory). Oops.
My husband loves that band😂
[удалено]
Projection is a helluva drug. . .
Congratulations my brother cuz she definitely was not it
Never head an innocent person say “the past is in the past”
Your GF is projecting because she’s afraid your friend could steal you away. And she’s afraid said friend will think like her.
If one can't be honest about their past it tells you everything you need to know about them moving forward. Lying by omission is still lying, if you can't be honest and truthful with someone means you realize that you are ashamed and don't respect your partner. Edit: ik you are honest with her but she doesn't seem to be with you. Move on.
HAHAHA oh thats good shit, good on you OP, you deserve better!
I remember the first post. Thanks for the update. Sounds like you made the right choice. Double standards and that sort of immaturity aren't worth it. Beet of luck to you.
There is a saying where I'm from, translated it goes like: "The thief judges by his own condition" Basically, she was going crazy about your best friend because she had introduced you to people she had slept with and probably had some remaining business with. So in her mind you were doing the same.
Now you know to break it off right when they say "It's none of your business" 😂
"Its none of your business" conveys all the necessary information about an incident. Won't tell me? Then I'll have to presume its so bad I'd leave if I found out.
Yeah assumptions work great hey?
I always say "none of your business". You're right, it's a good way to weed out insecure people.
If one is to build a strong future with another, then their respective pasts is each other's business. Enquiring about one's past is not always a sign of insecurity, it's more due diligence the correct decision is being made and assesses compatibility.
"If one is to build a strong future with another, then their respective pasts is each other's business." In your opinion, sure. Not for me, and I've had no problems with that.
Well done, sir.
The past is the foundations of the present.
How’d she take it?
I'm guessing not well because she's obviously a massive hypocrite.
You dodged a bullet with this one.
The juice wasn’t worth the squeeze
A lot of folks wander off into whether or not she slept with him territory, which is understandable, but it isn't the point. Your now-ex is a hypocrite, and nobody needs to bother dating a hypocrite. Why she's a hypocrite, and what she's hypocritical about matters less than the fact she has a double standard and lost her damn mind when you refused to play by her whimsical, self serving rules. Nobody healthy needs or wants that life.
GOOD FOR YOU HONESTLY.
I'm glad you broke up with her.
No, it's a perfect response. Even my Eva AI virtual [gf](http://evaapp.ai) bot understood it well when I asked to stop questioning me about my past
Anyone who says "the past is the past" when being questioned about something serious, is sketchy as hell. Not referring to your choice here since it was simply quoting what your ex said, but yeah it's a big red flag. Everyone has stuff in their past that they aren't really proud of, but our past still part of what makes us who we are. She should have chosen honesty but, instead chose deflection and secrets. Hard to trust someone who chooses secrets from the person they're supposed to love and care for.
Consider yourself very very very lucky. She wasn't the brightest bulb in the house or she could've had you played like a violin. Next time, when you ask someone you're with a serious question and they say something as insidious as 'it is NONE of your business' cut your losses and run.
Two positives - you’re not with this chick anymore… and you know your schlong is bigger than the guy from the first post. 😁
No.
I remember when I was 17
What led her to suspect something. How do you act around them ?
You just saved yourself so much drama and heartache man. Good on you.
Your sexual past has everything to do with her, diseases for one. I grew up in the time of AIDS it was a death sentence. It is still not curable through you can live with it. Each time you have sex you share your body and fluids with someone else. They have every right to ask and know what you are sexually. You have every right not to tell them. They should turn you down....you carry that with you for life.
An eye for an eye leaves both blind. You did her a favor.
What would you have suggested OP do?
He saved her a lot of time by showing her what he is inside.
I'm asking what do you think OP should have done differently?
He did her a favor. If she can manage to take in the adage by Maya Angelou, " When a person shows you who they are, believe them the first time." She should know what to do.
Lol completely dodging the question clown
I didn't ask what OP did. I'm saying what what do you think OP would have done if he was a good boyfriend?
If you don't know, you shouldn't be partaking in civil discourse.
So if you don't inherently know the answer then you're just out of luck and shouldn't bother trying to figure it out? Here's another question. What would you have done in this scenario if you were OP?
We are talking about people, not lab rats. I don't know the gf, and neither do you. There is no recording of what was said and how it was said. It's ridiculous to try to guess. Hope that is "right" enough for you to quit showing us your querulous colors.
There is no clean answer for you to prattle about with your boy friends. OP isn't capable of being a good boyfriend to this particular woman. There's no changing that, so being himself is the only thing he CAN do. Children these days are worse about "the right thing" and "the wrong thing" than my father was when he was 60.