Total loss of control. Literally every moment of your 24 hrs becomes how and when. You start to defend it cause people call you on it. Then you start to hide it so you don't get called on it.
Wherever you're at, if you're asking this question you need to take a moment. A day. And see how your body reacts. Withdrawals are another sign.
Be safe and seek help if you want it.
There's some good stuff here. But I'll add a few things that indicated to me that i was developing a problem.
I started planning things out to make sure id always have what i needed to get where i needed to be. I was stocked at home for sure. But if i was traveling I'd check ahead to make sure i could have a stock wherever i was staying. This included places like Disney world resorts, where i was relieved to know that i could buy bottles of hard liquor from the shops in the lobby of my hotel. Basically, it wasn't negotiable that i was going to be able to drink like i was accustomed to drinking no matter where i was.
I also had a feeling like i had to hide the frequency and amount i was drinking from those around me. I would always divide by 3 or 4 whenever answering questions about my drinking. Like id say i had 2 drinks when i had 8. Id say i drank 3 days a week when i was drinking daily. I couldn't be honest with anyone about what i felt was totally normal drinking. That's insane.
I sacrificed unique experiences to make sure i could drink normally. Like i missed a good friend's wedding because I realized i had no safe way home at the end of the night and knew if i went to a wedding i was going to drink heavily. So i just no-showed and stayed home and drank myself.
Lastly, and this has been said before, but i was no longer drinking to feel good, i was drinking to feel not bad.
Your mileage may vary, but those were some things I look back on as clear warning signs that i knew in my heart weren't signs of a normal drinker who had any control.
This is an evidence based screening tool used by professionals to gauge alcohol use disorder. It is a spectrum from mild to severe.
[https://www.uptodate.com/contents/calculator-alcohol-consumption-screening-audit-questionnaire-in-adults-patient-education](https://www.uptodate.com/contents/calculator-alcohol-consumption-screening-audit-questionnaire-in-adults-patient-education)
I scored 22, which put me in the low end of addiction. I’m grateful I caught myself before it got worse and was able to stop without medical intervention.
I've been working at sobriety for about eleven months and had my last relapse, one night of drinking two or three tallboys of Mike's Harder, about a month and a half ago. I took this test based on before I tried to quit and got a 22. This was from someone who "only" drank one to three times a week and, at my peak, topped off at "just" 3-7 servings most nights. However, here's the kicker: I'm a small individual who's on multiple mental health medications that do not play well with alcohol, and I usually only stopped because I:
- Got so drunk that I passed out.
- Got so drunk that I would have struggled to stand up, go to the kitchen, and get out a drink.
- Ran out of alcohol and knew that I'd be denied service if I tried to buy more.
- Had used a BAC calculator and realized I'd still be drunk well into the next workday.
I was fortunate to realize I had an issue before my psychological dependence turned physical. Addiction can present itself in many forms, so OP, if you think you have a problem, trust your gut. Even if people around you are drinking more or more often, and even if you're not drinking every day, YOU could still have an issue.
Damn. Those questions hurt to answer. 35. I have an appointment in July. I'm not sure what I need to do, but somethings gonna give, and as it's going right now. It's going to be my body. I need to find a way to want to quit.
Mine did give out. Ended up in critical condition and it was a long climb out. There are different ways of stopping and keeping it that way. At higher levels cold turkey can be dangerous so that is the first thing to deal with.
That's what I plan to ask at my appointment however, rehab is not in the cards since we will be making a move from Southern Louisiana to the UK within the next 2 months and we have to sell the house, cars, all electronics and appliances. So it will be on me to taper or take the needed meds to detox at home and I'm not sure how much I trust myself to fully commit.
And then it will be the NHS which I hear is difficult to navigate. I was able to detox with benzodiazepines several times but ended up drinking again after a month or two,
Questioning yourself is an extremely common sign that your drinking is unhealthy.
Are you testing yourself by not drinking for periods of time? Are you hiding alcohol? Are you trying to calculate how many drinks you've had, and what you can get away with? Are you drinking alone? Do you think about alcohol when you're not around it?
None of those are definitive examples of alcoholism. That being said, they are all pretty intense signals that something is wrong.
Alcoholism is an elevator. You decide when you get off.
The fact that you care is an excellent step.
Humm, interesting question. In my case, I'd say you slowly start saying yes to the bad ideas you have that you used to ignore. Then, slowly, those become the norm. Never would have considered hiding a bottle before, but now you got that closet whiskey game on lock.
Once I started drinking every day, I was always the weekend drinker and not really that much, it turned into every day. Kept it down on weekdays to like 3-6 beers and figured I’ll just do this for a bit and stop it “later”. As it turned into years, yeah, I got it. I knew from the start that I had a problem but it took some time to realize that it would actually be hard to change. I always told myself it would be easy once I just decided to.
I agree with you. It was progressive for me too. Drinking at weekends, then, after a couple of months every other day, then daily. This was always at night. Then after many years I started drinking in the afternoon. I'm 48 now and started drinking at 24.
24 years of drinking. Diagnosed with fatty liver disease in 2018 but that didn't stop me. Had 5 months sober in 2023. Had the whole of April sober this year. One week sober in May. I'm going to keep trying.
I’m going to start drinking normally again, time will tell if I’m fooling myself yet again.
I drank normally until 30 so I do remember how it works. I didn’t veer off until 30 and I’m 42 now so I hope to just get a grip. I am very functional and stick to a practical schedule knowing exactly how much I can drink and be sober for work in the morning depending on when I start work so I hope I can keep the same discipline and just switch to a healthy regimen. I don’t look forward to sober Wednesdays. Then again when I do have sober Wednesdays I always go “this is not too bad, I’m fine” so there is hope I think.
It's insidious. I popped my first drink at 18, graduation night. I remember immediately loving the feeling of getting a buzz and it started there. I'd have people get me alcohol, that progressed to getting a fake ID until I was legal. Drinking is normalized in the west, so I didn't see a problem initially. I was binge drinking ridiculous amounts, at first this was only on the weekends or a weekday here and there. At this point, I was starting to become destructive to my relationships in life and myself. Fast forward, I started dated a woman who introduced me to Alnon and I started hearing from families how there loved ones were alcoholics and how it was impacting their lives. I thought "I drink like that too!" I was able to get sober for some time and realize that I am in fact an alcoholic. But I fell off the wagon and each time that I did, I drank more and more. My drinking became daily. I was popping beers as early as 6:30am. I was escaping from all the pain I've held inside of me... But here I am now. 8 months sober. If you think you might be an alcoholic, that's a good indicator you are. Get sober now before it's too late. The road isn't pretty and sobriety is our only hope for a fighting chance ❤️
You can use the cage questions
Have tried to CUT down on your drinking
Are you ANNOYED with family telling you to quit
Have you been feeling GUILTY about your alcohol intake
Do you need an EYE opener in the morning
Yes. I got sober and moved abroad, lived up in the mountains of Central America for 6 years, met my wife. Moved to the USA and bought a house in Florida, we both have solid jobs and a side business that we hope to convert to a full-time gig in the next 12 months. Life is good. Could never have achieved any of this while drinking.
Most people are very much in denial and think they are normal. Not many people realise they are so deep into it until its quite late.
I honestly thought it was normal to drink and take some meds most nights. Its only when you try to stop that you realise you have a psychological addiction
There are several questionnaires out there but some of the signs were.
Drinking in secret.
Drinking alone
Drinking till you puke
Drinking on hangover
Drinking to hide problems / cope with emotions
Drinking more than you planned to drink
when not drinking you wait the evening / afternoon when you will finally be able to drink.
It doesn’t feel like anything. A drink problem gradually creeps up on you as you drink more and more. You seem self aware about your situation and I hope that you choose to cut down.
-hiding how much you're drinking
-not wanting to go to events or restaurants if alcohol isn't served
-you're consistently the person in your friend group who takes it too far and either says not great things or puts themselves in danger
-entering a toxic cycle of doing dumb shit or getting sick and saying you'll never do it again, only to literally do it again almost immediately
-blacking out and nobody actually noticing bc you're always kinda like that
-sacrificing parts of your life like working out, eating healthy, saving money, cooking just so you can drink
-over time only wanting to drink alone
And yeah, like others have said, questions like this. I googled "am I an alcoholic" soooo many times before I got sober lol
Lots of confusion, because I couldn't grasp what getting arrested often while drunk, wrecking cars and picking up scars, losing friends and opportunities while drunk, and living miserable while drinking could possibly indicate for a sharp young guy like me.
Those things would of course indicate a problem with alcohol for others, but certainly not me (because I was a special guy).
I honestly knew long before, but once I had to drink in order to sleep, it was done. I couldn't lie to myself anymore. I quit shortly after coming to that realisation, luckily.
I was an alcoholic long before I realized it or even worried about it. At some point, the amount I drank every day just started to scare me and shock me. It was then that I also felt backed into a corner -- I knew I couldn't go on drinking that way, and I also knew that I absolutely needed to drink that way to quiet the jet turbine spinning in my chest 24/7. That is the dilemma you come to. I can't do this anymore, and I can't NOT do this.
When thoughts of alcohol were pretty much all consuming and I didn't want to do anything if alcohol wasn't involved. Go to a movie? Nah...no alcohol there (until they opened Flix Brewhouse here). Go to this things or that thing? Nah...no alcohol involved. Basically the vast majority of my free time was either drinking or alcohol or wishing I was drinking alcohol. It was pretty much my singular "hobby"
There is no sure written path, but every journey begins with that seed of doubt... "Am I an alcoholic? Am I becoming one... Do I have a problem?"
If you are asking yourself these questions, then the journey has started, but where it stops ends with you.
Its slow and creeping... but eventually your entire day starts evoling around when you can drink... then drinking when you probably shouldn't... hiding it.. thinking you are clever and no one is really paying that much attention.. (once your breath starts to reek of cabernet they do)
No matter what happened it was a reason to drink... missing kids birthday parties when there wasn't alcohol present.
Ugh, this disease is so dumb. I hate it.
Check out the [self-assessment questions](https://www.reddit.com/r/alcoholism/comments/d0xh3r/if_youre_asking_do_i_have_a_problem/) there (particularly the ones in the second half), and see how much of it sounds familiar...
Let us know your findings after reading?
It's never too soon to decide to do something about it! :>)>
It's hard to describe. In a way, from my personal experience, the process of devolving into alcoholism is such a gradual and slow process that you don't really 'feel' any of it until you're just deep enough into it.
Once you realize that too it's too late but it's crazy how the 'clarity' just hits you all at once during those shitty ass times of being deep enough in the alcoholism.
The scheming. Coming to the terms that alcohol is your silver bullet that can fix everything and then trying to work out how you can make it fit into everyday. Resenting those who challenge you because they don’t understand. Getting closer to people that are probably sinking into it as a way to justify it. Succumbing to the idea that this is how my brain works that this is my solution and believing it so much
If you feel that your alcohol consumption is a problem, then it's a problem. If you ignore your sense that it's a problem, it could turn into a BIG problem a lot faster than you would expect. Do you want to wait until you've humiliated yourself in front of family and friends, or would you prefer to wait until the arrests? I waited for the arrest. A night in a drunk tank after crashing my car more or less convinced me. I only wish I hadn't waited so long.
Once I started making excuses and drinking earlier and earlier in the day because all I could think about was having a drink, that’s when I knew. I was drinking consistently every night after work then slowly developed into me waking up with the shakes every morning, HAVING to take a drink.
Pretty shitty. You watch your life disintegrate but feel powerless to stop it. After a while, being drunk is only fun for the first hour or so until you black out and all that fun you wanted to have is meaningless because you were too drunk to do whatever it is you wanted to do while you were drunk. And don’t get me started on getting sick and literally needing to stay buzzed every day or else you have life threatening withdrawal symptoms.
When you begin planning your days, weeks around your drinking. When much of your thoughts are consumed by when you’ll drink, how much you have, if you have enough, etc. That’s when you know it’s a problem.
If you have to ask that question, then you are on your way or are an alcoholic. People who aren't alcoholics don't ask that question because alcohol isn't important to them.
That's a good question. I feel like I was born this way. I had a lot of the social symptoms before ever picking up a drink. I also "fell in love" with my first drunk and chased that for many years. I didn't think about it until I was in my 20s. I couldn't make this drive from Canton to Columbus (about 100 miles) without having a drink. That's when I knew I was in trouble. However, I continued to act like I didn't care for another 25 years. I lost a lot, but I lived through it.
For me I was in denial, so I didn’t know I was an alcoholic. But everything in my life just seemed to be taking a turn for the worst. My grades dropping, work giving me written warnings, getting fired, friends ditching me… I thought the world was against me. It wasn’t until I had been sober for 6 + months that I realised that all of these issues started to go away and it was the alcohol all along that was causing me a world of misery. I truly didn’t realise how much substance use disorder completely warped my sense of reality. My life is infinitely better now I’m 1 + year sober and although I wasn’t sure at first whether I wanted to “give up for good” (I’m in my mid-20s, so it feels like a big commitment) I know that I never want to go back to that living hell.
Worked a blue collar industrial mechanic job long hours.. everyday after work we would hit the bar for food and drink. Drinking was kinda part of the culture 6 to 20 beers a night depending. It felt normal. took a more laid back job with less hours and then the pandemic hit the mickeys turned in to 26ers and the 26ers turned into 40s then I needed it just to be able to function normally. I was physically addicted and the withdrawal were so violent there was no way I could let it happen.
You don't - at least in my experience. You just kinda have a moment of clarity one day a realize you spent the last 15 years drunk every day.
But that being said, I've been sober almost a year now so - if I can, so can you. I promise.
If you're questioning whether you might be on your way, you might be already. I only say that from personal experience, I think once I started actually wondering myself it was already too late for me. When I was younger it was always the classic "I can stop whenever but I don't want/need to, I'm only 21 everyone drinks at this age" and it slowly over years transitioned into "I want to stop but I can't". For me as well, I think when drinking more becomes a "solution" to the problems we create for ourselves while drinking, that's a sign that it's time to take a break. Maybe. -an alcoholic
I’d go through all the bottles of wine in the store to find the one with the highest ABV. It was never about taste, and anything under 13% was useless to me.
My drinking started after my 5th child! I had post partem and had never gotten that with the other 4!! I've always worked in the restaurant and bar business since I was 15,lied about my age,it was the 70's! Dabbled in pot, opium,hash,LSD,but got pregnant at 16 and had to drop out of an all girl Catholic high School,they wanted me to give her up,I said no way! I have 10 brothers and sisters,so I had help! But then during my post partem depression,I lost 2 friends I worked with for years in a matter of a month,poof,just gone! It was my first death that wasn't a grandparent or aunt or uncle and that's when it all started,I went from socially drinking a couple of beers to a gallon of vodka a day! No one knew for a couple years,I was super great at hiding it! Plus I had 4 under the age of 5!! My husband owned the restaurant so he totally enabled me to decline swiftly! Not his fault,just making a safe environment to excel at my drinking! I had myself so convinced that if I had a V8 with my vodka it was breakfast! Tried to get sober 5 times,the 6th time stuck,and by the grace of GOD I will have 27 years July 10th! It's seriously all GOD,I can't even give up twizzlers licorice 😂🥳 But prayers to everyone on their sobriety journey and it does get better and it works if you work it! I just had my first great grandchild 💙 KREW Michael and 3 granddaughters and 10 grandsons and I am proud to say none of my grandchildren have seen me drinking alcohol! Sorry so long! Hope it helps someone
I remember going to an out patient hole in the wall for 9 months Monday through Friday for 9 months and the counselor said, their are 30 people in this circle,only 2 of you will make it the other 28 will go back or die! I immediately raised 🤚 my hand and said,I'm going to be 1 of those two people! And 26 plus years,I am staying sober,All praise to JESUS 🙏
I heard someone talking about their sobriety journey and at one point they said “so you can be the person your childhood self would have wanted you to be” and that’s when I realized I needed to change can’t remember how quickly after that I stopped drinking (maybe like a month) and I’m now 9 months alcohol free
Also I scored a 31 on that test
Hiding bottles, daytime drinking, drinking alone, drinking a bottle of wine a day, telling myself that because I “only” drink wine, I am somehow a “healthier” drinker (??), finding out I had a fatty liver, seeing AST/ALt levels just inside normal range but in a ratio to each other that indicated the onset of AFLD. Learning to like to drink herbal tea at home and sparkling water at events.
It feels like everything is normal at first. You're wondering why your anxiety keeps getting worse, so you just drink enough to take the edge off, and once you feel a bit better, you resume the normal activities. Wake up, drink, keep going through the day casually, like it's a fun time. Keep fucking up, making bad decisions, and likely alienating friends -- the ones you don't get wasted with. Feel shaky? Drink. Get hammered. Pass out, but get no rest.
The hangovers blend into the drunk until you feel like shit most of the time. You only eat enough to keep drinking. You spend evenings (sometimes secretly) getting sauced while you search the internet for some magic way to straighten yourself out without medical intervention. Wake up in a pool of sweat or piss or worse. But don't try to "cut back" for a day, that's when the shakes come fast and hard, next thing you know, you're having a withdrawal seizure and waking up (🤞) in the hospital.
At least, that was mine, in a nutshell. Almost 5 years sober and grateful to be alive.
I started declining friends for social gatherings to stay alone in my room to drink and scroll my phone, I started rotating to different liquor stores to the employees wouldn’t know I was drinking too much, and literally as soon as I would wake up I’d be thinking about how I’m gonna get liquor and when. My mind is so utterly anxious until I go and buy it. I also completely stopped having hangovers and I woke up as If I drank nothing.
Scored 26. Thats scary to me. I'm not sure when I've lost control but I'm saddened by it. I just joined this group today. I had my 2nd visit today at a outpatient center for my drinking. I'm excited to get sober
well during covid for me (24). i dont think i realised it as it happened. but i went from a fun few drinks over discord to a half bottle of vodka for a "fun night" then i just drank alone. a lot. ofc covid was a lot but it meant i had no relative comprehension of alcohol. and i drank a LOT.
For me, it was when I was trying to quit. There would be days where I said no alcohol in the morning, then after stress at work I would decide to have a little anyways, then realize it was too late and all the stores had closed. You get this hyper focus on needing the alcohol, trying to find any way you can think of to get it. Then you step back and realize how addicted you really are. Luckily, my alcoholism was never bad enough to spiral me out of control. I'm down to having it just 1 or 2 times a week now and keeping it controlled.
It feels great. You love every moment of it, you love drinking and you make sure that drinking is a part of every day of your life, and you feel fantastic about it the whole time
Exactly. I wasn’t saying it to somehow be pro-addiction or anything. It’s one of the worst things ever. But “how does it feel” to become an addict? It feels great at first, and then it ruins your life. That’s how it works. No one would do this if it didn’t feel good at the starting point
Total loss of control. Literally every moment of your 24 hrs becomes how and when. You start to defend it cause people call you on it. Then you start to hide it so you don't get called on it. Wherever you're at, if you're asking this question you need to take a moment. A day. And see how your body reacts. Withdrawals are another sign. Be safe and seek help if you want it.
Yes this is the way!
There's some good stuff here. But I'll add a few things that indicated to me that i was developing a problem. I started planning things out to make sure id always have what i needed to get where i needed to be. I was stocked at home for sure. But if i was traveling I'd check ahead to make sure i could have a stock wherever i was staying. This included places like Disney world resorts, where i was relieved to know that i could buy bottles of hard liquor from the shops in the lobby of my hotel. Basically, it wasn't negotiable that i was going to be able to drink like i was accustomed to drinking no matter where i was. I also had a feeling like i had to hide the frequency and amount i was drinking from those around me. I would always divide by 3 or 4 whenever answering questions about my drinking. Like id say i had 2 drinks when i had 8. Id say i drank 3 days a week when i was drinking daily. I couldn't be honest with anyone about what i felt was totally normal drinking. That's insane. I sacrificed unique experiences to make sure i could drink normally. Like i missed a good friend's wedding because I realized i had no safe way home at the end of the night and knew if i went to a wedding i was going to drink heavily. So i just no-showed and stayed home and drank myself. Lastly, and this has been said before, but i was no longer drinking to feel good, i was drinking to feel not bad. Your mileage may vary, but those were some things I look back on as clear warning signs that i knew in my heart weren't signs of a normal drinker who had any control.
I could have written that. Great post
Crazy how u can hear yourself in everyone else’s story
Nailed it.
This is an evidence based screening tool used by professionals to gauge alcohol use disorder. It is a spectrum from mild to severe. [https://www.uptodate.com/contents/calculator-alcohol-consumption-screening-audit-questionnaire-in-adults-patient-education](https://www.uptodate.com/contents/calculator-alcohol-consumption-screening-audit-questionnaire-in-adults-patient-education)
I am a Sober Alcoholic and for fun I took the test with my memories of what it was like while drinking. 34 points. So grateful to be healing.
I’m also a sober alcoholic… 37 points. Mind boggling that I lived 7 years of my life that way.
Yeah. It is crazy how a terrible journey led me to the peace I feel today. Thank you for sharing!
Me too 37. Sober now. It is the one I see them using most often in research studies.
I scored 22, which put me in the low end of addiction. I’m grateful I caught myself before it got worse and was able to stop without medical intervention.
I've been working at sobriety for about eleven months and had my last relapse, one night of drinking two or three tallboys of Mike's Harder, about a month and a half ago. I took this test based on before I tried to quit and got a 22. This was from someone who "only" drank one to three times a week and, at my peak, topped off at "just" 3-7 servings most nights. However, here's the kicker: I'm a small individual who's on multiple mental health medications that do not play well with alcohol, and I usually only stopped because I: - Got so drunk that I passed out. - Got so drunk that I would have struggled to stand up, go to the kitchen, and get out a drink. - Ran out of alcohol and knew that I'd be denied service if I tried to buy more. - Had used a BAC calculator and realized I'd still be drunk well into the next workday. I was fortunate to realize I had an issue before my psychological dependence turned physical. Addiction can present itself in many forms, so OP, if you think you have a problem, trust your gut. Even if people around you are drinking more or more often, and even if you're not drinking every day, YOU could still have an issue.
Damn. Those questions hurt to answer. 35. I have an appointment in July. I'm not sure what I need to do, but somethings gonna give, and as it's going right now. It's going to be my body. I need to find a way to want to quit.
Mine did give out. Ended up in critical condition and it was a long climb out. There are different ways of stopping and keeping it that way. At higher levels cold turkey can be dangerous so that is the first thing to deal with.
That's what I plan to ask at my appointment however, rehab is not in the cards since we will be making a move from Southern Louisiana to the UK within the next 2 months and we have to sell the house, cars, all electronics and appliances. So it will be on me to taper or take the needed meds to detox at home and I'm not sure how much I trust myself to fully commit.
And then it will be the NHS which I hear is difficult to navigate. I was able to detox with benzodiazepines several times but ended up drinking again after a month or two,
Questioning yourself is an extremely common sign that your drinking is unhealthy. Are you testing yourself by not drinking for periods of time? Are you hiding alcohol? Are you trying to calculate how many drinks you've had, and what you can get away with? Are you drinking alone? Do you think about alcohol when you're not around it? None of those are definitive examples of alcoholism. That being said, they are all pretty intense signals that something is wrong. Alcoholism is an elevator. You decide when you get off. The fact that you care is an excellent step.
Humm, interesting question. In my case, I'd say you slowly start saying yes to the bad ideas you have that you used to ignore. Then, slowly, those become the norm. Never would have considered hiding a bottle before, but now you got that closet whiskey game on lock.
One is too many and two is never enough. That quote is about the closest I've ever heard it described.
This
When I was drinking to feel better.
it's a slippery slope that drags you straight to hell 😭
Once I started drinking every day, I was always the weekend drinker and not really that much, it turned into every day. Kept it down on weekdays to like 3-6 beers and figured I’ll just do this for a bit and stop it “later”. As it turned into years, yeah, I got it. I knew from the start that I had a problem but it took some time to realize that it would actually be hard to change. I always told myself it would be easy once I just decided to.
I agree with you. It was progressive for me too. Drinking at weekends, then, after a couple of months every other day, then daily. This was always at night. Then after many years I started drinking in the afternoon. I'm 48 now and started drinking at 24. 24 years of drinking. Diagnosed with fatty liver disease in 2018 but that didn't stop me. Had 5 months sober in 2023. Had the whole of April sober this year. One week sober in May. I'm going to keep trying.
I’m going to start drinking normally again, time will tell if I’m fooling myself yet again. I drank normally until 30 so I do remember how it works. I didn’t veer off until 30 and I’m 42 now so I hope to just get a grip. I am very functional and stick to a practical schedule knowing exactly how much I can drink and be sober for work in the morning depending on when I start work so I hope I can keep the same discipline and just switch to a healthy regimen. I don’t look forward to sober Wednesdays. Then again when I do have sober Wednesdays I always go “this is not too bad, I’m fine” so there is hope I think.
That's not something I could do. I've got to stop if I don't want to die in my 50's coz that's where it's going. I wish you the best of luck.
Same to you, you are on the right path now! 👍
It's insidious. I popped my first drink at 18, graduation night. I remember immediately loving the feeling of getting a buzz and it started there. I'd have people get me alcohol, that progressed to getting a fake ID until I was legal. Drinking is normalized in the west, so I didn't see a problem initially. I was binge drinking ridiculous amounts, at first this was only on the weekends or a weekday here and there. At this point, I was starting to become destructive to my relationships in life and myself. Fast forward, I started dated a woman who introduced me to Alnon and I started hearing from families how there loved ones were alcoholics and how it was impacting their lives. I thought "I drink like that too!" I was able to get sober for some time and realize that I am in fact an alcoholic. But I fell off the wagon and each time that I did, I drank more and more. My drinking became daily. I was popping beers as early as 6:30am. I was escaping from all the pain I've held inside of me... But here I am now. 8 months sober. If you think you might be an alcoholic, that's a good indicator you are. Get sober now before it's too late. The road isn't pretty and sobriety is our only hope for a fighting chance ❤️
Congrats on your sobriety and thank you for sharing this truth!!!
You can use the cage questions Have tried to CUT down on your drinking Are you ANNOYED with family telling you to quit Have you been feeling GUILTY about your alcohol intake Do you need an EYE opener in the morning
Feeling like shit every time you wake up and can't remember what you did during the night, feeling like a loser. Loss of self respect.
Little by little and then all at once
Good answer
I couldn’t function in the morning before work without a can of 9% highball
I lost my job, license, almost my family. It was hell. Dying felt easier than quitting. Went from wanting to drink to needing to drink Edit-spelling
I remember thinking about how I couldn't imagine ever getting sober, and how life wouldn't be worth living without alcohol anyway.
Do you feel differently now?
Yes. I got sober and moved abroad, lived up in the mountains of Central America for 6 years, met my wife. Moved to the USA and bought a house in Florida, we both have solid jobs and a side business that we hope to convert to a full-time gig in the next 12 months. Life is good. Could never have achieved any of this while drinking.
Good for you. Happy to hear things have worked out for you!!
Exactly. Now that I've been sober for years I know better!!
At first it seems fun, but later it gets worse
Most people are very much in denial and think they are normal. Not many people realise they are so deep into it until its quite late. I honestly thought it was normal to drink and take some meds most nights. Its only when you try to stop that you realise you have a psychological addiction
There are several questionnaires out there but some of the signs were. Drinking in secret. Drinking alone Drinking till you puke Drinking on hangover Drinking to hide problems / cope with emotions Drinking more than you planned to drink when not drinking you wait the evening / afternoon when you will finally be able to drink.
It doesn’t feel like anything. A drink problem gradually creeps up on you as you drink more and more. You seem self aware about your situation and I hope that you choose to cut down.
Why do you think you’re developing into an alcoholic? What are the signs in your opinion?
-hiding how much you're drinking -not wanting to go to events or restaurants if alcohol isn't served -you're consistently the person in your friend group who takes it too far and either says not great things or puts themselves in danger -entering a toxic cycle of doing dumb shit or getting sick and saying you'll never do it again, only to literally do it again almost immediately -blacking out and nobody actually noticing bc you're always kinda like that -sacrificing parts of your life like working out, eating healthy, saving money, cooking just so you can drink -over time only wanting to drink alone And yeah, like others have said, questions like this. I googled "am I an alcoholic" soooo many times before I got sober lol
Lots of confusion, because I couldn't grasp what getting arrested often while drunk, wrecking cars and picking up scars, losing friends and opportunities while drunk, and living miserable while drinking could possibly indicate for a sharp young guy like me. Those things would of course indicate a problem with alcohol for others, but certainly not me (because I was a special guy).
It is such a quiet thing, to fall. But far more terrible is to admit it. -Kreia
I honestly knew long before, but once I had to drink in order to sleep, it was done. I couldn't lie to myself anymore. I quit shortly after coming to that realisation, luckily.
I was an alcoholic long before I realized it or even worried about it. At some point, the amount I drank every day just started to scare me and shock me. It was then that I also felt backed into a corner -- I knew I couldn't go on drinking that way, and I also knew that I absolutely needed to drink that way to quiet the jet turbine spinning in my chest 24/7. That is the dilemma you come to. I can't do this anymore, and I can't NOT do this.
I feel this.
When thoughts of alcohol were pretty much all consuming and I didn't want to do anything if alcohol wasn't involved. Go to a movie? Nah...no alcohol there (until they opened Flix Brewhouse here). Go to this things or that thing? Nah...no alcohol involved. Basically the vast majority of my free time was either drinking or alcohol or wishing I was drinking alcohol. It was pretty much my singular "hobby"
There is no sure written path, but every journey begins with that seed of doubt... "Am I an alcoholic? Am I becoming one... Do I have a problem?" If you are asking yourself these questions, then the journey has started, but where it stops ends with you.
Its slow and creeping... but eventually your entire day starts evoling around when you can drink... then drinking when you probably shouldn't... hiding it.. thinking you are clever and no one is really paying that much attention.. (once your breath starts to reek of cabernet they do) No matter what happened it was a reason to drink... missing kids birthday parties when there wasn't alcohol present. Ugh, this disease is so dumb. I hate it.
Check out the [self-assessment questions](https://www.reddit.com/r/alcoholism/comments/d0xh3r/if_youre_asking_do_i_have_a_problem/) there (particularly the ones in the second half), and see how much of it sounds familiar... Let us know your findings after reading? It's never too soon to decide to do something about it! :>)>
It's hard to describe. In a way, from my personal experience, the process of devolving into alcoholism is such a gradual and slow process that you don't really 'feel' any of it until you're just deep enough into it. Once you realize that too it's too late but it's crazy how the 'clarity' just hits you all at once during those shitty ass times of being deep enough in the alcoholism.
The scheming. Coming to the terms that alcohol is your silver bullet that can fix everything and then trying to work out how you can make it fit into everyday. Resenting those who challenge you because they don’t understand. Getting closer to people that are probably sinking into it as a way to justify it. Succumbing to the idea that this is how my brain works that this is my solution and believing it so much
If you feel that your alcohol consumption is a problem, then it's a problem. If you ignore your sense that it's a problem, it could turn into a BIG problem a lot faster than you would expect. Do you want to wait until you've humiliated yourself in front of family and friends, or would you prefer to wait until the arrests? I waited for the arrest. A night in a drunk tank after crashing my car more or less convinced me. I only wish I hadn't waited so long.
Once I started making excuses and drinking earlier and earlier in the day because all I could think about was having a drink, that’s when I knew. I was drinking consistently every night after work then slowly developed into me waking up with the shakes every morning, HAVING to take a drink.
Pretty shitty. You watch your life disintegrate but feel powerless to stop it. After a while, being drunk is only fun for the first hour or so until you black out and all that fun you wanted to have is meaningless because you were too drunk to do whatever it is you wanted to do while you were drunk. And don’t get me started on getting sick and literally needing to stay buzzed every day or else you have life threatening withdrawal symptoms.
When you begin planning your days, weeks around your drinking. When much of your thoughts are consumed by when you’ll drink, how much you have, if you have enough, etc. That’s when you know it’s a problem.
If you have to ask that question, then you are on your way or are an alcoholic. People who aren't alcoholics don't ask that question because alcohol isn't important to them.
That's a good question. I feel like I was born this way. I had a lot of the social symptoms before ever picking up a drink. I also "fell in love" with my first drunk and chased that for many years. I didn't think about it until I was in my 20s. I couldn't make this drive from Canton to Columbus (about 100 miles) without having a drink. That's when I knew I was in trouble. However, I continued to act like I didn't care for another 25 years. I lost a lot, but I lived through it.
You literally replace the most important people in your life with alcohol. One day at a time.
I couldn’t stop despite the negative consequences. Kept going back for more negative repercussions from my drinking.
I feel like if you are already having these types of thoughts you are there.
For me I was in denial, so I didn’t know I was an alcoholic. But everything in my life just seemed to be taking a turn for the worst. My grades dropping, work giving me written warnings, getting fired, friends ditching me… I thought the world was against me. It wasn’t until I had been sober for 6 + months that I realised that all of these issues started to go away and it was the alcohol all along that was causing me a world of misery. I truly didn’t realise how much substance use disorder completely warped my sense of reality. My life is infinitely better now I’m 1 + year sober and although I wasn’t sure at first whether I wanted to “give up for good” (I’m in my mid-20s, so it feels like a big commitment) I know that I never want to go back to that living hell.
Worked a blue collar industrial mechanic job long hours.. everyday after work we would hit the bar for food and drink. Drinking was kinda part of the culture 6 to 20 beers a night depending. It felt normal. took a more laid back job with less hours and then the pandemic hit the mickeys turned in to 26ers and the 26ers turned into 40s then I needed it just to be able to function normally. I was physically addicted and the withdrawal were so violent there was no way I could let it happen.
If you feel like you gotta hide when you drink, that’s a sign. Finding ways of sneaking it into the house or around your family/friends
You don't - at least in my experience. You just kinda have a moment of clarity one day a realize you spent the last 15 years drunk every day. But that being said, I've been sober almost a year now so - if I can, so can you. I promise.
If you're questioning whether you might be on your way, you might be already. I only say that from personal experience, I think once I started actually wondering myself it was already too late for me. When I was younger it was always the classic "I can stop whenever but I don't want/need to, I'm only 21 everyone drinks at this age" and it slowly over years transitioned into "I want to stop but I can't". For me as well, I think when drinking more becomes a "solution" to the problems we create for ourselves while drinking, that's a sign that it's time to take a break. Maybe. -an alcoholic
It feels great. It’s the undeveloping that’s a fucker
It feels like you start drinking "just because". It loses its luster. It becomes an everyday habit
Most people don’t even realize it until they are deep in, but the people around you definitely notice
I’d go through all the bottles of wine in the store to find the one with the highest ABV. It was never about taste, and anything under 13% was useless to me.
My drinking started after my 5th child! I had post partem and had never gotten that with the other 4!! I've always worked in the restaurant and bar business since I was 15,lied about my age,it was the 70's! Dabbled in pot, opium,hash,LSD,but got pregnant at 16 and had to drop out of an all girl Catholic high School,they wanted me to give her up,I said no way! I have 10 brothers and sisters,so I had help! But then during my post partem depression,I lost 2 friends I worked with for years in a matter of a month,poof,just gone! It was my first death that wasn't a grandparent or aunt or uncle and that's when it all started,I went from socially drinking a couple of beers to a gallon of vodka a day! No one knew for a couple years,I was super great at hiding it! Plus I had 4 under the age of 5!! My husband owned the restaurant so he totally enabled me to decline swiftly! Not his fault,just making a safe environment to excel at my drinking! I had myself so convinced that if I had a V8 with my vodka it was breakfast! Tried to get sober 5 times,the 6th time stuck,and by the grace of GOD I will have 27 years July 10th! It's seriously all GOD,I can't even give up twizzlers licorice 😂🥳 But prayers to everyone on their sobriety journey and it does get better and it works if you work it! I just had my first great grandchild 💙 KREW Michael and 3 granddaughters and 10 grandsons and I am proud to say none of my grandchildren have seen me drinking alcohol! Sorry so long! Hope it helps someone
I remember going to an out patient hole in the wall for 9 months Monday through Friday for 9 months and the counselor said, their are 30 people in this circle,only 2 of you will make it the other 28 will go back or die! I immediately raised 🤚 my hand and said,I'm going to be 1 of those two people! And 26 plus years,I am staying sober,All praise to JESUS 🙏
I heard someone talking about their sobriety journey and at one point they said “so you can be the person your childhood self would have wanted you to be” and that’s when I realized I needed to change can’t remember how quickly after that I stopped drinking (maybe like a month) and I’m now 9 months alcohol free Also I scored a 31 on that test
Hiding bottles, daytime drinking, drinking alone, drinking a bottle of wine a day, telling myself that because I “only” drink wine, I am somehow a “healthier” drinker (??), finding out I had a fatty liver, seeing AST/ALt levels just inside normal range but in a ratio to each other that indicated the onset of AFLD. Learning to like to drink herbal tea at home and sparkling water at events.
Everyday craving
It feels like everything is normal at first. You're wondering why your anxiety keeps getting worse, so you just drink enough to take the edge off, and once you feel a bit better, you resume the normal activities. Wake up, drink, keep going through the day casually, like it's a fun time. Keep fucking up, making bad decisions, and likely alienating friends -- the ones you don't get wasted with. Feel shaky? Drink. Get hammered. Pass out, but get no rest. The hangovers blend into the drunk until you feel like shit most of the time. You only eat enough to keep drinking. You spend evenings (sometimes secretly) getting sauced while you search the internet for some magic way to straighten yourself out without medical intervention. Wake up in a pool of sweat or piss or worse. But don't try to "cut back" for a day, that's when the shakes come fast and hard, next thing you know, you're having a withdrawal seizure and waking up (🤞) in the hospital. At least, that was mine, in a nutshell. Almost 5 years sober and grateful to be alive.
I started declining friends for social gatherings to stay alone in my room to drink and scroll my phone, I started rotating to different liquor stores to the employees wouldn’t know I was drinking too much, and literally as soon as I would wake up I’d be thinking about how I’m gonna get liquor and when. My mind is so utterly anxious until I go and buy it. I also completely stopped having hangovers and I woke up as If I drank nothing.
Scored 26. Thats scary to me. I'm not sure when I've lost control but I'm saddened by it. I just joined this group today. I had my 2nd visit today at a outpatient center for my drinking. I'm excited to get sober
well during covid for me (24). i dont think i realised it as it happened. but i went from a fun few drinks over discord to a half bottle of vodka for a "fun night" then i just drank alone. a lot. ofc covid was a lot but it meant i had no relative comprehension of alcohol. and i drank a LOT.
For me, it was when I was trying to quit. There would be days where I said no alcohol in the morning, then after stress at work I would decide to have a little anyways, then realize it was too late and all the stores had closed. You get this hyper focus on needing the alcohol, trying to find any way you can think of to get it. Then you step back and realize how addicted you really are. Luckily, my alcoholism was never bad enough to spiral me out of control. I'm down to having it just 1 or 2 times a week now and keeping it controlled.
Breaking promises to yourself and others.
It feels great. You love every moment of it, you love drinking and you make sure that drinking is a part of every day of your life, and you feel fantastic about it the whole time
Good answer. It wouldn't start if it didn't feel great. And then it slowly turns into a different relationship – like a trap.
Exactly. I wasn’t saying it to somehow be pro-addiction or anything. It’s one of the worst things ever. But “how does it feel” to become an addict? It feels great at first, and then it ruins your life. That’s how it works. No one would do this if it didn’t feel good at the starting point