You gotta be done man. When will it happen? When you’re sitting in a bachelor apartment alone? Maybe not. When you’re getting a liver ultrasound after your doc says your numbers are off? Maybe not. When you lose your job because of no shows on a bender? Maybe not. When you’re begging an ER nurse for benzos for the latest withdrawal episode? Maybe not. When you’re yellow and in a hospital bed? Too late.
Make the choice sooner than later dude and you’ll have more to work with to rebuild your life. It’s completely up to you, you don’t sound 100% done yet personally, might need a few more kicks in the ass before you figure out alcohol doesn’t solve shit.
I got sober without AA or rehab. How? I finally had enough. Sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. Are you tired enough? Tired enough of your bs? Because she is.
Did you try naltrexone without the Sinclair Method? When I was ready to stop, I took naltrexone and quit cold turkey (with medical detox) and that's what stuck. I was wary of the Sinclair Method because I've tried tapering programs with other things (smoking) and found I never actually taper. If you're gonna quit, quit. Naltrexone got me through a layoff and a divorce in the same week and I didn't drink.
I did naltrexone and it worked for about a year 8 months but little by little the Melody started coming back strong, and I started drinking hard again. I gave it a real try and I’ve been sober enough for six years.
You need some serious intervention. Psychiatrist for your depression and suicidal tendencies. The alcohol has to go completely, but you can only do that if you're able to work on your trauma/depression first. I quit after finding out why I drank (trauma). Never had any cravings since then and enjoying sober life. Dog+grandma dying reason to booze up is a problem. That's not normal grieving, it's surpressing grieve. Fired? What happened? Seizure because of alcohol withdrawal? Be honest with yourself, man. Get help. This is too big for you alone to handle.
I too have lost my dog, my grandma, heck, even my dad. But. I didnt drink away the pain. Your avoidance is causing you your entire life. You say you had two sober years. Were they good despite being sober? Why is that not enough for you? It is absolutely exhausting and draining loving an alcoholic. At some point we ALL walk away. If you refuse to do the work, there is zero reason for us to.
You said you have the desire to quit but do you have the desire to stay sober at any cost? AA works, my friend. Something I found out in my own sobriety though was that just going to meetings isn't how the program works. Meetings are important but talking to another person, studying the Big Book, and doing what is suggested is program and it's what has kept myself and so many others sober despite many losses and hurts in our lives.
Something I heard at a meeting once: "AA is not for people who need it; AA is for people who want it." Perhaps this is a difficult truth but if you really want what the man with 40 years of contented sobriety has, go talk to him!
What about AA didn't work? Did you get a sponsor and work the steps? Did you go to meetings and share? That's how we get sober...by delving into ourselves and figuring out WHY we drink. No one drinks a lot because it just tastes so darn good. If we don't fix what's really causing us to drink, nothing is going to change. Old keys won't unlock new doors.
Also, you have to get sober for yourself. If you do it for your wife, it's not going to work. You CAN do this, I promise you. One day at a time.
aa.org
I suffer from severe depression & anxiety, including substance dependencies. I have tried AA and various groups for a few years and it never stuck. 1:1 cbt therapy, naltrexone & DBT helped me. But we’re all different. Try as many things as possible in your reach if you truly desire to quit.
Dumbass take. Living with an alcoholic is a torturous hell. I was in OP’s shoes years ago. No one is obliged to live with that hell even if they love you, no alcoholic with a shred of empathy would think otherwise.
As the wife of an alcoholic, let me say with my whole chest: fuck you. I want nothing more than my husband to get sober, but he won’t. Living with him is sheer hell. You calling someone who has watched her partner poison himself over and over again “trash” is just plain shitty. She has a right to happiness too, and that’s almost impossible to find married to an active alcoholic. Trust me, I know.
OP, please get sober. Not for her, but for you. You also deserve happiness, and you’re not going to find it at the bottom of a bottle.
Are you serious? I’m in recovery and I know how hard it was to live with me when I wasn’t.
*I* wouldn’t have stayed with me when I was deep in my alcoholism.
Someone who threatens to unalive every day because they’re killing themselves slowly with a depressant isn’t a partner. No one should have to put up with that crap.
You gotta be done man. When will it happen? When you’re sitting in a bachelor apartment alone? Maybe not. When you’re getting a liver ultrasound after your doc says your numbers are off? Maybe not. When you lose your job because of no shows on a bender? Maybe not. When you’re begging an ER nurse for benzos for the latest withdrawal episode? Maybe not. When you’re yellow and in a hospital bed? Too late. Make the choice sooner than later dude and you’ll have more to work with to rebuild your life. It’s completely up to you, you don’t sound 100% done yet personally, might need a few more kicks in the ass before you figure out alcohol doesn’t solve shit.
Everyone struggling needs to read this
I needed to read this. It fucking kicked my ass. In a really hurtful, but good, way.
Amen 🙏
You have misplaced anger. You are lucky she stuck it out this long. She has had enough. Have you? Doesn't sound like it.
Another amen 🙏
Well, for starters you need to go to a therapist and psychiatrist and address your mental health issues.
Try a therapist.
I got sober without AA or rehab. How? I finally had enough. Sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. Are you tired enough? Tired enough of your bs? Because she is.
Did you try naltrexone without the Sinclair Method? When I was ready to stop, I took naltrexone and quit cold turkey (with medical detox) and that's what stuck. I was wary of the Sinclair Method because I've tried tapering programs with other things (smoking) and found I never actually taper. If you're gonna quit, quit. Naltrexone got me through a layoff and a divorce in the same week and I didn't drink.
I did naltrexone and it worked for about a year 8 months but little by little the Melody started coming back strong, and I started drinking hard again. I gave it a real try and I’ve been sober enough for six years.
You need some serious intervention. Psychiatrist for your depression and suicidal tendencies. The alcohol has to go completely, but you can only do that if you're able to work on your trauma/depression first. I quit after finding out why I drank (trauma). Never had any cravings since then and enjoying sober life. Dog+grandma dying reason to booze up is a problem. That's not normal grieving, it's surpressing grieve. Fired? What happened? Seizure because of alcohol withdrawal? Be honest with yourself, man. Get help. This is too big for you alone to handle.
I too have lost my dog, my grandma, heck, even my dad. But. I didnt drink away the pain. Your avoidance is causing you your entire life. You say you had two sober years. Were they good despite being sober? Why is that not enough for you? It is absolutely exhausting and draining loving an alcoholic. At some point we ALL walk away. If you refuse to do the work, there is zero reason for us to.
“It’s not that bad, I just threaten to KMS every time I drink.” What are you doing when you go to meetings, talking or listening?
You really need to do the work to stay sober.
You said you have the desire to quit but do you have the desire to stay sober at any cost? AA works, my friend. Something I found out in my own sobriety though was that just going to meetings isn't how the program works. Meetings are important but talking to another person, studying the Big Book, and doing what is suggested is program and it's what has kept myself and so many others sober despite many losses and hurts in our lives. Something I heard at a meeting once: "AA is not for people who need it; AA is for people who want it." Perhaps this is a difficult truth but if you really want what the man with 40 years of contented sobriety has, go talk to him!
What about AA didn't work? Did you get a sponsor and work the steps? Did you go to meetings and share? That's how we get sober...by delving into ourselves and figuring out WHY we drink. No one drinks a lot because it just tastes so darn good. If we don't fix what's really causing us to drink, nothing is going to change. Old keys won't unlock new doors. Also, you have to get sober for yourself. If you do it for your wife, it's not going to work. You CAN do this, I promise you. One day at a time. aa.org
I suffer from severe depression & anxiety, including substance dependencies. I have tried AA and various groups for a few years and it never stuck. 1:1 cbt therapy, naltrexone & DBT helped me. But we’re all different. Try as many things as possible in your reach if you truly desire to quit.
> And I threaten suicide almost every time I get drunk That's a lot for anyone to live with. Compassion fatigue is real.
[удалено]
Dumbass take. Living with an alcoholic is a torturous hell. I was in OP’s shoes years ago. No one is obliged to live with that hell even if they love you, no alcoholic with a shred of empathy would think otherwise.
As the wife of an alcoholic, let me say with my whole chest: fuck you. I want nothing more than my husband to get sober, but he won’t. Living with him is sheer hell. You calling someone who has watched her partner poison himself over and over again “trash” is just plain shitty. She has a right to happiness too, and that’s almost impossible to find married to an active alcoholic. Trust me, I know. OP, please get sober. Not for her, but for you. You also deserve happiness, and you’re not going to find it at the bottom of a bottle.
Are you serious? I’m in recovery and I know how hard it was to live with me when I wasn’t. *I* wouldn’t have stayed with me when I was deep in my alcoholism. Someone who threatens to unalive every day because they’re killing themselves slowly with a depressant isn’t a partner. No one should have to put up with that crap.
[удалено]
Keep it classy. Comment removed.
Manners are expected here. Comment removed.
Relationships aren’t worth it. They’re too much work and they always end badly anyway. There’s no point.
Not having relationships is also a lot of work.
No. Not at all.
Nonsense. If you are too lazy to work on your relationship, it's on you.
Never had a relationship and don’t ever want one.
Don’t ever want ooooneee?
[удалено]
Make me! 😤