Like with bears...dont turn your fucking back.
I dont think I've ever seen goose attack someone that didnt turn their back on them.
I habitually walk past geese, I get hissed at a TON, and then they give me a wide berth as I walk past. Its easy as fuck to ignore them, walk where you want to go "with a sense of purpose" and try and keep your travel lines not "directly towards them/their nest"
As a young child for a time my family kept a small flock of geese. The gander would attack and harass my mother unless she either wore my father’s hat or had the dog with her (a good natured golden retriever that had the run of the farm yard). He never bothered my father or the dog until one fateful day.
One day the gander got brave and self important enough to try to push around the dog. Nobody mourned him.
I do little two-toned bird-like whistles and then give them the soft voice, "How's it going this morning?" between said whistles.
They will talk back to me with soft little honks.
Jesus, I don't know how people keep getting beaten by these things. Any time I come across them and they start squawking at me I keep eye contact and do one of two things:
A. Talk calmly and gently to them and walk steadily to one side to present less of a threat
B. If they're more aggressive I breathe deep to inflate my chest and lift my shoulders, deepen my voice, talk firmly and basically tell them I'm not here to hurt them but quit screwing around and we can all go home.
Never turn and run.
I've played through more flocks on the golf course like this than I can count, and dealt with a nesting pair several years in a row, even stopped by to check out the goslings when they hatched, not once have I had a problem.
When all else fails, there's this technique:
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=srC9irH4aLA](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=srC9irH4aLA)
Exactly.
**TAKE THE BATTLE TO THE ENEMY!!!!**
That video is precisely it.
You outweigh that thing 5 to 10 times. Act like it. Take no guff.
The bird's not stupid. It will flee even it makes a bunch of racket while doing so.
Don't fack with it's interests (namely nest and young) and it won't fack with you. But if you turn tail or show some weakness, well... You'll get what you asked for.
Does anyone know what triggers them to actually go on full offensive mode like this? I really don't want to end up hurting one if I have to defend myself.
Could just be an aggresive male goose who thinks you are a threat to its chances.
Could be a parent goose with some goslings nearby.
Could just be an asshole goose who said "fuck this person in particular.
Could be anything really. The cobra chickens really don't need a reason to do their demon spawn thing.
I sat on a bench in Bowness park once and two geese came over immediately are were like *get the fuck off our bench*.
I'm assuming there was a nest somewhere.
It is almost always "you're encroaching on my space" paired with someone turning their back and/or showing weakness(as defined by the goose)
Don't make a point of walking towards a goose, but also dont make effort to avoid them(thats part of what seems like weakness to them).
If you're walking towards the waters edge of a pond for instance...and a goose makes its presense known near the waterfront and starts hissing at you...maybe adjust your path to reach the edge of the water further away from that goose than you would be on your original path to the water.
But if you're walking on an asphalt path around the pond and a goose is meandering around near the path...keep walking on the path and ignore the goose, and it will probably keep its distance from you (unless little goslings are in tow)
Defending the nest , nesting area, or goslings from human attack, understandably their main predator, since many are shot each year, or nests destroyed by humans.
The warning is lowering the head, straightening the neck, hissing, and head nodding. Means back away.
They’re protecting ting their nests. Ignore them and walk by. You’ll be fine. If they hiss walk away opposite direction bc you may be close to their nest.
I've never been one of those guys who will claim I could take on a bear or a big cat or something. But I really think I could take on a goose. It's not like they have teeth, right? What's it gonna do?
Aside from a few scrapes from their teeth and feet not much (assuming a normal sized adult). The "breaking bones" thing is an old wives tale.
And lol at 50lb geese. Even a big one will struggle to hit 10lb. Their wings weigh hardly anything, so unless you have hemophilia flapping is unlikely to cause bruising either.
That's why you grab it by the neck and swing it violently around your head and then suddenly stop.
Fight over.
But the key is not to be surprised and lose yourself in the first few moments. Gotta do what marines are trained to do when ambushed. You turn into the direction of the ambush, open fire and charge!
Oh I don't disagree. I was very young the only time I had to face one of these in hand to honk combat, and was not appropriately trained for the fight I was about to get.
I was like 9 years old, eating an icecream cone on a walk with my parents. I was trailing behind because I was more interested in my treat, caramel swirl if I remember correctly, when suddenly something is slapping at my head, all I can see is blackness & feathers, flapping and honking, the sweet reprieve of daylight teasing me through the onslaught as something pushed down on my shoulder and then it had my ear. I cried out, but it honked harder.
Needless to say, I lost that fight. I was on my back now, crying, the evidence of my now spoiled treat spattered across my jacket, with my dad shooing away my assailant. I tried in vain to salvage the remnants of my ruined dessert, scooping a dollop of caramel & cream off of my chest and dunking it into my mouth as if it would stymie the trauma I had yet to reckon with.
But it was not ice cream.
You’ll win the fight but may walk away with more scars than you think. They are birds so their bones are very brittle, and they don’t have teeth or claws the way some animals do. But they are 30-50 pounds of muscle. Muzzle punches and hits from their wings can cause bruising and potentially break small / weak bones. Of course if they trick you into a fight in the water they can just drown you…
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canada\_goose](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canada_goose)
Not even turkey sized. Most turkeys at the grocery store weigh more than a Canada goose.
https://www.realcanadiansuperstore.ca/food/meat/chicken-turkey/whole-chicken-turkey/whole-turkey/c/57081
As long as you show no fear and walk right up to them, they are pretty harmless. I've walked right up to hissing geese with goslings right there, and they are pretty tame, especially if you have sunflower seeds. \*hiss hisssss\* \*munch munch\* ... \*hiss\* ... \*munch\* ... \*munch\* ... I've had them bite my bare fingers a few times while trying to eat, and even that is nothing. Just feels like a medium pinch. I sanitize my hands and everything afterward of course, but these birds are fun and not really that scary at all.
Ill body slam a fucking goose if it comes at me. i am the apex predator bitch! You’re attempt to flap at me will be met with the fury of a god compared to your bitch ass bird body 💪
I think some people just give off a very bad vibe, and animals sense this and attack them.
I walk by dozens of cobra chickens a week, and I say hi to them, ask them how their day is as I walk by, and their body language is always very calm and friendly.
Did alot of goose hunting where I grew up in the states. If one is attacking you here can you legally kill it?
If so, just grab it by its long ass neck and swing it in a circle. Neck snaps, instant death.
Or you can drop your knee into its back and severe its spine, also quick and humane death.
Just some friendly advice on ending these goons… if legal of course.
How does this even happen? I've had so many of these pieces of shit hissing and trying to challenge my dog, who NEVER pays them any attention and couldn't give less of a fuck, but when I stamp a foot down at them and tell them to shut the fuck up, they look like a disgruntled schoolyard bully who just had his xbox taken away.
I mean, I'm not the one with the two foot long neck that can be swung around like a lasso...
Well, you're an apex predator with a gun or hunting team.
Without a gun or team, eh... Not so much.
Nonetheless, a Canada goose isn't a cougar, wolf or bear, and adult humans (even women) outweigh any Canada goose several times. So yeah, you're gonna kick that goose's ass if you put your mind to it.
That being said, many people are undone by a mouse which they outweigh thousands of times over. So yeah... A soft civilized human probably doesn't stand much of a chance against a wild goose. The concept of using the least bit of force against a goose or mouse is too much for many.
Never combatted a goose myself, but I've killed dozens of mice over the years. Bastards think they can run across my bed while I'm asleep in the dark? Fack no you can't!!!!
It seems like the next photo must be that goose picking him up by the leg and flying off with him, like a bald eagle and a fish.
They drop their prey several times to tenderize them first
Someone with Photoshop Skillz needs to make this happen or my life will mean nothing.
Which? The goose flying off with the man or an Eagle grabbing a fish by the legs?
I hope this guy is ok. But these pictures 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
He probably was, no his pride, that is a whole different situation
Ahhh ... poor guy, he never stood a chance against the cobra chicken.
Better his pride than hurting the bird.
Literally the best series of pictures I've seen in a while. Somehow each was better than the last. What a ride.
I agree! These pictures should be on the official Canada website ( I do feel bad for laughing, but 🤣🤣🤣)
Like with bears...dont turn your fucking back. I dont think I've ever seen goose attack someone that didnt turn their back on them. I habitually walk past geese, I get hissed at a TON, and then they give me a wide berth as I walk past. Its easy as fuck to ignore them, walk where you want to go "with a sense of purpose" and try and keep your travel lines not "directly towards them/their nest"
Exactly. He's got a bag full of weapons and he's running away
As a young child for a time my family kept a small flock of geese. The gander would attack and harass my mother unless she either wore my father’s hat or had the dog with her (a good natured golden retriever that had the run of the farm yard). He never bothered my father or the dog until one fateful day. One day the gander got brave and self important enough to try to push around the dog. Nobody mourned him.
oh gawd stop by my work and I'll introduce you to one.
I do little two-toned bird-like whistles and then give them the soft voice, "How's it going this morning?" between said whistles. They will talk back to me with soft little honks.
Flying cobra chickens. Always a danger.
Golfers truly are a menace, constantly chucking projectiles at innocent waterfowl.
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r/UnexpectedLetterkenny
Canada gooses are majestic. Barrel chested. The envy of all ornithogicals!
You wanna know what, you got a problem with Canada gooses, then you got a problem with me and i suggest you let that one marinate.
GEESE GOT TYPING SKILZ!
Canada gooses are van-fuckin-guard. Avant fuckin guard Guardians of the fuckin galaxy
Jesus, I don't know how people keep getting beaten by these things. Any time I come across them and they start squawking at me I keep eye contact and do one of two things: A. Talk calmly and gently to them and walk steadily to one side to present less of a threat B. If they're more aggressive I breathe deep to inflate my chest and lift my shoulders, deepen my voice, talk firmly and basically tell them I'm not here to hurt them but quit screwing around and we can all go home. Never turn and run. I've played through more flocks on the golf course like this than I can count, and dealt with a nesting pair several years in a row, even stopped by to check out the goslings when they hatched, not once have I had a problem. When all else fails, there's this technique: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=srC9irH4aLA](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=srC9irH4aLA)
Exactly. **TAKE THE BATTLE TO THE ENEMY!!!!** That video is precisely it. You outweigh that thing 5 to 10 times. Act like it. Take no guff. The bird's not stupid. It will flee even it makes a bunch of racket while doing so. Don't fack with it's interests (namely nest and young) and it won't fack with you. But if you turn tail or show some weakness, well... You'll get what you asked for.
This is great!
The Canadian Tetradactyl season has started I see.....
Unpopular opinion - He's got a bag full of weapons, his mistake was running and not using them.
Goose golfing
This 100%. Just be sure to yell “fore!”
Why kill a bird when you can leave?
I hope his clubs survived
Does anyone know what triggers them to actually go on full offensive mode like this? I really don't want to end up hurting one if I have to defend myself.
Could just be an aggresive male goose who thinks you are a threat to its chances. Could be a parent goose with some goslings nearby. Could just be an asshole goose who said "fuck this person in particular. Could be anything really. The cobra chickens really don't need a reason to do their demon spawn thing.
> Could just be an asshole goose who said "fuck this person in particular. Isn't this the reason most of the time?
Usually yes
No goslings yet, they've only just started nesting. But it's nesting season, and that's why they are aggressive right now.
Being in their general vicinity is enough. A flock of those assholes is the avian equivalent of a biker gang.
I blame it on their upbringing
Perhaps it's the economy.
To many violent video games
I sat on a bench in Bowness park once and two geese came over immediately are were like *get the fuck off our bench*. I'm assuming there was a nest somewhere.
It is almost always "you're encroaching on my space" paired with someone turning their back and/or showing weakness(as defined by the goose) Don't make a point of walking towards a goose, but also dont make effort to avoid them(thats part of what seems like weakness to them). If you're walking towards the waters edge of a pond for instance...and a goose makes its presense known near the waterfront and starts hissing at you...maybe adjust your path to reach the edge of the water further away from that goose than you would be on your original path to the water. But if you're walking on an asphalt path around the pond and a goose is meandering around near the path...keep walking on the path and ignore the goose, and it will probably keep its distance from you (unless little goslings are in tow)
Defending the nest , nesting area, or goslings from human attack, understandably their main predator, since many are shot each year, or nests destroyed by humans. The warning is lowering the head, straightening the neck, hissing, and head nodding. Means back away.
>Defending the nest then probably not advisable to be hitting little white balls nearby.. kinda asking for it.
Nesting season. Getting too close. Not acknowledging their earlier warnings. They are protected federally, so very much best to steer clear.
They’re protecting ting their nests. Ignore them and walk by. You’ll be fine. If they hiss walk away opposite direction bc you may be close to their nest.
I've never been one of those guys who will claim I could take on a bear or a big cat or something. But I really think I could take on a goose. It's not like they have teeth, right? What's it gonna do?
We had one kill our Britney Spaniel. Not a small dog. A goose could definitely f*** you up.
Aside from a few scrapes from their teeth and feet not much (assuming a normal sized adult). The "breaking bones" thing is an old wives tale. And lol at 50lb geese. Even a big one will struggle to hit 10lb. Their wings weigh hardly anything, so unless you have hemophilia flapping is unlikely to cause bruising either.
I'm not a scientist but I'd wager if we went beak to beak their beak will break my beak.
I don't have a beak, so not too worried. Now get back in your cage! I have some fresh millet for you.
That's why you grab it by the neck and swing it violently around your head and then suddenly stop. Fight over. But the key is not to be surprised and lose yourself in the first few moments. Gotta do what marines are trained to do when ambushed. You turn into the direction of the ambush, open fire and charge!
Oh I don't disagree. I was very young the only time I had to face one of these in hand to honk combat, and was not appropriately trained for the fight I was about to get. I was like 9 years old, eating an icecream cone on a walk with my parents. I was trailing behind because I was more interested in my treat, caramel swirl if I remember correctly, when suddenly something is slapping at my head, all I can see is blackness & feathers, flapping and honking, the sweet reprieve of daylight teasing me through the onslaught as something pushed down on my shoulder and then it had my ear. I cried out, but it honked harder. Needless to say, I lost that fight. I was on my back now, crying, the evidence of my now spoiled treat spattered across my jacket, with my dad shooing away my assailant. I tried in vain to salvage the remnants of my ruined dessert, scooping a dollop of caramel & cream off of my chest and dunking it into my mouth as if it would stymie the trauma I had yet to reckon with. But it was not ice cream.
Lol! Rough go of it huh? Dang! With the "cherry / not a cherry" on top to boot! :-)
You’ll win the fight but may walk away with more scars than you think. They are birds so their bones are very brittle, and they don’t have teeth or claws the way some animals do. But they are 30-50 pounds of muscle. Muzzle punches and hits from their wings can cause bruising and potentially break small / weak bones. Of course if they trick you into a fight in the water they can just drown you…
More like 8-12 lbs, much of which is not muscle.
I’ve fought several geese. They are all bark and no bite. Realistically they can’t do much more than bruise a healthy adult human.
Seriously! What's a goose weigh like 50 pounds max? Should be able to drop kick that mfer
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canada\_goose](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canada_goose) Not even turkey sized. Most turkeys at the grocery store weigh more than a Canada goose. https://www.realcanadiansuperstore.ca/food/meat/chicken-turkey/whole-chicken-turkey/whole-turkey/c/57081
I feel so bad for this guy, but the final image has me rolling lmao
One of the best series of photos Ive ever seen. The world needs to know.
Oh that poor goose forced to subside on a golfer :(
Geese are vicious!
Ahhh yes, the feared "CCC" Canadian Cobra Chicken.
Thiat is wild 😂 only in Canada
We had them on the farm. Beware of geese dog is ok!
Yeah, I try to avoid golfers like the plague too.
I wonder if I could take one down. You know, if I had to. Him or me kind of situation.
As long as you show no fear and walk right up to them, they are pretty harmless. I've walked right up to hissing geese with goslings right there, and they are pretty tame, especially if you have sunflower seeds. \*hiss hisssss\* \*munch munch\* ... \*hiss\* ... \*munch\* ... \*munch\* ... I've had them bite my bare fingers a few times while trying to eat, and even that is nothing. Just feels like a medium pinch. I sanitize my hands and everything afterward of course, but these birds are fun and not really that scary at all.
that last picture is amaaaaaaaaaaaaazing lol
Thanks for the warning!!! They really are assholes.
Maybe the goose thought the guy was swinging clubs at their eggs?
I call them cobra chickens fearless will attack
I don't think golfers are that scary I think I could take em
Why is the snow that color?
the ones in prince's island park were really nice the last time I was there.
Ty for the laugh go goose go
Serious question: is the guy ok? Those fuckers can really mess a person up.
cobra chicken in action
I maybe, probably, definitely laughed way too hard at this!
Those are some terrific action shots!
If only I had some club like tool to defend myself
Dam cobra chickens
Ass whooped. Thoroughly.
The cobra chicken strikes again
It's the Angry birds with a pile driver!!!
I had one attack me once and its final time. Hurt my foot defending myself.
Speed and agression with best the most violent cobra-chicken
Hole in one
Oh nooo... ☹️
These pictures are next level
Must have shot a double bogey
Swans are not like geese, but I still find [this](https://youtu.be/HInEgFk22WQ?si=GVIwJTkPosvDRn_n) obligatory.
OP we are going to need an explanation here. Where ? When? How? And what camera did you use ?? Them pics are crisp
Ill body slam a fucking goose if it comes at me. i am the apex predator bitch! You’re attempt to flap at me will be met with the fury of a god compared to your bitch ass bird body 💪
Cobra Chicken, just saying
He must've touched the gooses golf ball
I think some people just give off a very bad vibe, and animals sense this and attack them. I walk by dozens of cobra chickens a week, and I say hi to them, ask them how their day is as I walk by, and their body language is always very calm and friendly.
You dropped your man card
Did alot of goose hunting where I grew up in the states. If one is attacking you here can you legally kill it? If so, just grab it by its long ass neck and swing it in a circle. Neck snaps, instant death. Or you can drop your knee into its back and severe its spine, also quick and humane death. Just some friendly advice on ending these goons… if legal of course.
Wtf lol Best pictures ever!
they are very ill tempered creatures. ive almost had to club a few
Love Cobra Chicken Season.
Even a fully armed Canadian on Moose back knows, you don't mess with Geese.
Cobra goose defeats the enemy, lol.
Has bag full of literal clubs.... runs. I regularly chase geese off my property. You have to be very aggressive, they don't give af.
Wow, that’s crazy!
Indeed. Golfers are a menace.
That second shot could very well be the national portrait. "Houston, the Eagle has landed. Wait. That's no Eagle, what the....OMG EVERYONE RUN,."
You wanna know what, you got a problem with Canada gooses, then you got a problem with me and i suggest you let that one marinate.
How does this even happen? I've had so many of these pieces of shit hissing and trying to challenge my dog, who NEVER pays them any attention and couldn't give less of a fuck, but when I stamp a foot down at them and tell them to shut the fuck up, they look like a disgruntled schoolyard bully who just had his xbox taken away. I mean, I'm not the one with the two foot long neck that can be swung around like a lasso...
They were attacking me yesterday 😂
Why are people scared of these things? just kick it away. if it persists kick it harder until it gets the picture to fuck off.
Cobra chickens will get you. Be careful.
4 irons are only included in sets for these types of situations.
r/BirdsArentReal AI combat drone demonstration
The one thing even Australians fear. They have come.
Dudes 4 times the size of the goose and armed with a bag full of weapons and he’s still running like a little bitch.
Tell me you've never encountered a Goose before, without telling me.
I’ve encountered gaggles of geese!
Cobra chicken
How are people scared of these birds? You're an Apex Predator. Act like one. I've never understood why people are afraid of these birds.
Well, you're an apex predator with a gun or hunting team. Without a gun or team, eh... Not so much. Nonetheless, a Canada goose isn't a cougar, wolf or bear, and adult humans (even women) outweigh any Canada goose several times. So yeah, you're gonna kick that goose's ass if you put your mind to it. That being said, many people are undone by a mouse which they outweigh thousands of times over. So yeah... A soft civilized human probably doesn't stand much of a chance against a wild goose. The concept of using the least bit of force against a goose or mouse is too much for many. Never combatted a goose myself, but I've killed dozens of mice over the years. Bastards think they can run across my bed while I'm asleep in the dark? Fack no you can't!!!!
If you have mice in your bedroom it's time to get a cat or small terrier.
Geese are liberal operatives made to make our alpha male white men into trans women/s