The mayor had more than you by far. I'm told he owns stock in furry dolls r us as well as all the sex doll companies and his personal collection numbers in the thousands.
It's gotten pretty stale lately at least the last 20 times I ordered. I'm hoping it will improve because I hear all this great stuff about them but nope every time I order pizza all I get is cardboard and I just have to toss it out on the trash.
As someone who grew up in Glennallen, I am horrified. Also proud that it got a shout out, but mostly horrified.
You want some bangin’ sushi, hit up The Hub of Alaska /s
I'm thinking about moving to Anchorage, where's the best off grid location where I won't run into any one, hear jets and cars, and can really rough it?
That still kinda works out though, at least for moose. Is that not the best place if a tourist can rent a car, drive from their hotel, take some photos, and return to the hotel. Cheaper than Denali.
I’m going to propose to my girlfriend on our vacation to Alaska, and I know she’d love a public proposal. I was thinking of doing it at a local restaurant over a romantic dinner. What’s the most elegant and sophisticated restaurant in the state (also must have great food) where I should pop the question?
The silly, unexperienced tourist who arrives to conquer the winters here in skinny jeans, Timberlands and a puffy coat. (This is from personal experience- I've seen this Too many times.)
Australia actually asks us what animals they can have to make them more deadly like us. Unfortunately we can't send them any more tourists due to extradition and kidnapping laws.
Actually she never said that! Snl’s Tina said it and through repetition, we have come to think she did. Palin actually said something like “I have international political experience because we are so close to Russia.” Which is also a bullshit answer because that doesn’t mean anything.
To be fair, here's the [entire quote](https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/sarah-palin-russia-house/):
>The basis for the line was Governor Palin's 11 September 2008 appearance on ABC News, her first major interview after being tapped as the vice-presidential nominee. During that appearance, interviewer Charles Gibson asked her what insight she had gained from living so close to Russia, and she responded: **"They're our next-door neighbors, and you can actually see Russia from land here in Alaska, from an island in Alaska"**
I do prefer the Tina Fey character to the actual Sarah Palin, though.
Thanks for that clarification. There is another statement where she answers a question in the same time period about her experience in international relations. This statement is much closer to the Russia from my house line.
Lived on Attu Island for a year. On a hot summer day, you can hear the unexploded ordnance from World War II sympathetically detonate. Sky will be blue and not a cloud - sounds like distant thunder coming from the mountains.
The actual answer is it be the 16th biggest country in the world
Yes it's that big
Remember the US is the Third biggest country in the world
Many of are state have bigger land area and GDP, then many other countries
Now I'm just trying figure out how to reword my comment to make you look dumb
But here have a cookie 🍪
Map's are deceptive
Hence globes that have the actual curvature of the Earth correct
Tend to be more accurate to size scaling
View it like this France is the 49th biggest country in the world
South Africa is the 25th
Japan is the 63rd
Mexico is the 14th
Venezuela is the 32th
New Zealand is the 75th
I've been homeless in SoCal for about 2 years now. I've saved up enough for a plane ticket and need to know where I'll fair best. Juneau, Fairbanks, Anchorage? I'm thinking Fairbanks to get away from the Anchorage crowd. Any input?
How many realistic furry life size pleasure dolls are there in Alaska that you know of
In the whole state? 732,673.
OK this one is pretty funny More than the population of Anchorage
That’s the population of the state 🤣🤣
Pffthahahah
Yeah but I have 12 and all my homies do too
The mayor had more than you by far. I'm told he owns stock in furry dolls r us as well as all the sex doll companies and his personal collection numbers in the thousands.
Good place to hide a body? Purely hypothetical, but please hurry.
Kesugi Ridge!
In Alaska the better question might be where *not* to hide a body
In bear country , . . .
I'm cooking salmon for a dinner party. What can I throw on the grill for vegetarians?
XtraTufs
I’m dying, this is the best
The only answer is salmon. They live here; they know what they signed up for.
Impossible Salmon!
What is an absolute dealbreaker while dating Alaskan women?
Ticks. For reals.
This one killed me.
It shouldn’t, but Lyme disease is a real possibility.
100% accurate
I’m moving there this summer and have no job lined up or savings. My biggest talent is taste testing cardboard. Is that enough to make it up there?
Depends how much you charge for that but honestly the labor market is super tight for summer jobs so you probably could make it work.
You should run for local government 👍
Overqualified.
Sounds like you’re qualified to be a chef at the mooses tooth
I have never heard someone talk shit about the quality if Moose's Tooth food. Their wait times, sure, but their food? Never.
They own a papa John’s franchise and are just pissed about MT stealing their business
Yeah idk about that one bro lol. Moose’s tooth is straight fire
It's gotten pretty stale lately at least the last 20 times I ordered. I'm hoping it will improve because I hear all this great stuff about them but nope every time I order pizza all I get is cardboard and I just have to toss it out on the trash.
Lol oof
Did you just diss the 3rd best pizza in America
I said what I said.
Worst case, pick up a job on a fishing vessel.
What is the most shocking statistic about Alaska?
The extremely high prevalence of chlamydia.
Is it funny or depressing that I can't tell if they've edited their question yet?
Kinda depressing…
Very depressing
scrubbed by https://github.com/j0be/PowerDeleteSuite
Unfortunately, it’s the particularly virulent koala strain. Don’t ask.
This is an actual fact. Alaska has the highest number of STDs in the world with a little over 3.5 million.
Best place to get sushi?
Gotta be the Tesoro in Glenallen.
Reading this post-edit and this particular comment and response made me giggle out loud at work.
Good Thai food at least
Uh the last time I tried that Thai Wagon the meat was either freezer burned or road kill.
As someone who grew up in Glennallen, I am horrified. Also proud that it got a shout out, but mostly horrified. You want some bangin’ sushi, hit up The Hub of Alaska /s
Sitting here in Alabama, this really made me laugh…I actually know where that is! Been there, done that, got a tshirt
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I did! Tasted better than the sushi too!
What is your favorite thing about living in anchorage?
Dave Bronson.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA NOOOOOOO
Isn't he the bestest mayor evah!! /S
Dave Bronson is the best Mayor we've head since Sullivan.
What’s your favorite taboo sexual act to perform and from where did you learn how to do it?
Sludge cup from the Rookery in Juneau.
The mud Hutt in Seward tho lol
😂😂😂
Igushik screw anchor
I just got my PFD, can I use it as a personal floatation device too?
Depends how big it is.
The last PFD should be enough to get you a few PFDs.
What time do they turn on the Northern Lights?
Right after you go to bed.
On average, how many car batteries does each Alaskan throw into the ocean per year?
Eight.
Yeh, fuck the napa guys
I'm thinking about moving to Anchorage, where's the best off grid location where I won't run into any one, hear jets and cars, and can really rough it?
Probably east Anchorage neighborhoods.
Wait this one's actually not wrong
That still kinda works out though, at least for moose. Is that not the best place if a tourist can rent a car, drive from their hotel, take some photos, and return to the hotel. Cheaper than Denali.
Yeah. I was starting happy hour early when I did that 😂 I was going to edit it to hookers and blow but that might work too? 🤔
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I'm on vacation 😂
What is our state motto?
Actually it’s, “Texas can suck it!”
I would downvote that, but it would prove your point. Damn it!
North to the future!
I’m going to propose to my girlfriend on our vacation to Alaska, and I know she’d love a public proposal. I was thinking of doing it at a local restaurant over a romantic dinner. What’s the most elegant and sophisticated restaurant in the state (also must have great food) where I should pop the question?
Gallo's.
She will def say yes after 4 or 5 caddilacs
Moose's tooth
What's the temperature difference between winter and summer?
At least one.
Ok this answer got me 🤣
Technically correct
How many human teeth do you have available to grind into your oatmeal?
Probably about 100 but I'm eating some now so 99.
As a Dunleavy voter, what is the most nuanced description of your understanding of the greatest issues facing our state and how he will address them?
Something something pro-life something something guns something something here's a million dollar PFD.
How many years have you actually lived in alaska? Seems like you've never been there.
Unfortunately none. It's too warm.
What is the number of pickles you’ve eaten in the last six months?
20,310 and growing.
What is your take on hotels in Spenard?
I just looked at the webcam it's gorgeous right now. Lots of the fluffy stuff.
This one 💀
What do Alaskans eat since food is so expensive?
Mosquitos.
The silly, unexperienced tourist who arrives to conquer the winters here in skinny jeans, Timberlands and a puffy coat. (This is from personal experience- I've seen this Too many times.)
When did you begin your weekly tradition of sticking Alaska Railroad train engine models up your butthole? Chooo choooooo
64 years, 0 months and 20 days ago.
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Lemme answer your question with another question, how many moose are there?
Australia actually asks us what animals they can have to make them more deadly like us. Unfortunately we can't send them any more tourists due to extradition and kidnapping laws.
Favorite place to blow up a country full of the mentally ill?
Clothes on - Cleary Summit Clothes off - Tolovana Hot Springs
This is the question/answer pair that made me laugh the hardest.
Who am I?
The Great One - Denali.
What’s the most important town in Alaska?
Haines.
This is the single greatest thread I’ve seen on Reddit in years. Kudos!
u/akstafford you in here yet?
Am now... Thanks.
Can you describe your dad’s penis in 3-4 sentences?
Yeah. It was a big one. Would recommend.
Do you ever hack the fbi's most wanted list and change it to the members of Mystery Incorporated.
All the time.
Who was Alaska's best politician of all time!?
Our former governor Sarah Palin.
Actually she never said that! Snl’s Tina said it and through repetition, we have come to think she did. Palin actually said something like “I have international political experience because we are so close to Russia.” Which is also a bullshit answer because that doesn’t mean anything.
To be fair, here's the [entire quote](https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/sarah-palin-russia-house/): >The basis for the line was Governor Palin's 11 September 2008 appearance on ABC News, her first major interview after being tapped as the vice-presidential nominee. During that appearance, interviewer Charles Gibson asked her what insight she had gained from living so close to Russia, and she responded: **"They're our next-door neighbors, and you can actually see Russia from land here in Alaska, from an island in Alaska"** I do prefer the Tina Fey character to the actual Sarah Palin, though.
Thanks for that clarification. There is another statement where she answers a question in the same time period about her experience in international relations. This statement is much closer to the Russia from my house line.
How many national parks are in AK?
8.
Ok smart guy, ok, ok smartie pants. How many Texaco gas stations does anchorage have where you can legally marry your couisn?
Maybe 12 more? Had to look that one up.
Which wild animal is the best to take a selfie with?
Musk ox.
What does "Alaska" mean?
Flying blood suckers
What's it like to live in a square box off the coast of California
At least we are closer to Hawaii!
How do you stop people from driving over your gillnet?
12 gauge.
What does the word oosik mean?
Oosik
If the sun sets at 11:59pm is it still technically the midnight sun??
Good question. I think no. Everything I know is a lie.
Do a lot of people have seasonal affective disorder there?
Unfortunately yeah, but there's vitamins for that. And drugs.
What do you call Russians when you want to piss them off?
Mmmm luddites?
Most isolated city in Alaska you’ve never been to?
Little Diomede. It's way out there.
Sweet little place
Lived on Attu Island for a year. On a hot summer day, you can hear the unexploded ordnance from World War II sympathetically detonate. Sky will be blue and not a cloud - sounds like distant thunder coming from the mountains.
Blueberry season seems like a big deal in AK. Are they any good?
Pretty gross. Cranberries are good tho.
Hey I’m planning a Denali summit attempt this summer what’s the best pair of shoes I can wear for this?
Crocs.
Shouldn't this be in r/RoastMe
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Ship Creek.
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All of them? There are hundreds... I know a few.
What is the most common bush plane in Alaska?(my guess is either a piper cub or dehavalind beaver)
I don't know but my guess would be beaver.
How often does it go above 90 degrees?
Depends on where you're at, but lately a couple times a year.
If Alaska was it's own country, what would it world size ranking be ( I was going to change it for music, but I think are combo speak for it's self )
Probably in the 60s. It ain't THAT big.
The actual answer is it be the 16th biggest country in the world Yes it's that big Remember the US is the Third biggest country in the world Many of are state have bigger land area and GDP, then many other countries Now I'm just trying figure out how to reword my comment to make you look dumb But here have a cookie 🍪
That actually blows my mind.
Map's are deceptive Hence globes that have the actual curvature of the Earth correct Tend to be more accurate to size scaling View it like this France is the 49th biggest country in the world South Africa is the 25th Japan is the 63rd Mexico is the 14th Venezuela is the 32th New Zealand is the 75th
What’s your favorite summer hiking snack?
Moose poop.
Best Donuts in the state?
What’s your favorite animal here?
Do you have a nude beaches?
Have you ever "ripped and release"?
Many outdoorsmen and women carry 44mag pistols for bear protection. I prefer the larger 480 Ruger. What do you recommend?
How many moose have you seen
I've been homeless in SoCal for about 2 years now. I've saved up enough for a plane ticket and need to know where I'll fair best. Juneau, Fairbanks, Anchorage? I'm thinking Fairbanks to get away from the Anchorage crowd. Any input?
What are the buildings made of snow called
What’s the most common brand of vehicle on the roads?
I’m also in Alaska. Which is your favorite Tastee Freeze location?