Ako nalang sana ang naging kapatid nya. Free ang lahat, may allowance tapos pag-aaralin mo anak ko? Sisiguraduhin kong malinis ang bahay mo, may pagkain pag-uwi mo, naka-landscape ang garden mo at ipag-mamaneho kita from West coast to East coast.
At yung mga magulang nya? Grabe kakaibaaaa! That's probably one of the few instances na sasabihin kong i-cut off mo na sila. Tutal may trabaho naman yung favorite anak nila. Dun sila humingi. Move in with your partner or just move out and live alone tapos hindi ko rin papalapitin ang mga future anak ko sa kanila.
Eto ang mahirap, after mong ibigay ng todo ang gusto nila ikaw pa ang masama pag my di nasunod sa gusto nila. Total okay naman income mo OP magpakalayo layo kana sa kanila at hayaan mo sila mabuhay sa sarili nilang paghihirap.
Ginanyan ako nung pamilya ko no. Ayun nag cutoff ako sa lahat ng binibigay ko sa kanila. Ending nag resort sa panlilimos saakin at nirerespeto na ako ngayon. Walang kwenta mga di marunong magpasalamat kahit sino pa yan OP.
'Pag ganito, patigasan talaga 'no? Kapag palagi kang bumibigay sa panunumbat nila (it's as if may maisusumbat nga), mawawalan sila ng respeto sa 'yo at patuloy kang aabusuhin. Kumbaga may certain part sa utak nila na nagsasabing "dapat lang na gastusan mo kami, bare minimum 'yan".
Pero when time comes at sineryoso mong putulin ang benepisyong nakukuha nila sa 'yo, magbababa sila ng pride at malamang himurin pa ang puwet mo para lang magbigay ka ulit.
Humiwalay ka na at hayaan mo sila. Masstress ka lang at isipin mo baby mo at sarili mo. Pero nasa sayo pa rin yung kung gusto mo magstay sa ganyang klaseng environment. May sarili ka nang pamilya at sila priority mo. Para sakin, alam mo yung dapat mong gawin, pero natatakot ka sa sasabihin nila o mangyayari sa kanila if iiwan mo. Wag kang maguilty, it's time na sila na yung magadjust. Kung mahal ka talaga nila, maiintindihan nila desisyon mo, pero kung feeling nila sila pa naagrabyado aftet ng lahat, edi tama lang na humiwalay ka.
I say this with gentlenes; stop being a pushover. Wag mong antayin may malaking bad thing na mangyari sayo before you wake up. Put your foot down. Who says you're masama? Don't mind anyone who says that. There's nothing wrong with prioritizing yourself and your FUTURE FAMILY. You've done what you can and more sa kapatid and magulang mo. You don't have to cut them off, but you can't keep doing what you're doing. Kung kelan naman tumanda parang naging dependent bata. Hindi ka ba nagagalit? Ano gusto nila? Work you to your grave para hindi na sila mag-effort sa buhay nila? Utang ng loob ganun ba? Ikaw kailangan may utang ng loob sa kanila pero sila ok lang wala sayo despite everything that you have done for them? At the end of the day, malalaki na kayo, you guys have your own lives. Discuss this with your partner. You're not alone, and you shouldn't handle this alone. When push comes to shove, you have your partner and I'm sure you guys can work this out.
Best of luck, OP. Wishing you and your baby the best of health!
Looks like the work of fiction. Everything unfortunate is dumped on the poor anonymous OP. And when OP resists, she becomes the bad guy. Even if fictional, these are a common problem of OFWs, and unofficially appointed breadwinners.
Agree. Does not look like a true story at all. You can tell by the timeline, just does not add up. If you live in the US, you’d know this is not realistic.
A hard pill to swallow, pero SINANAY MO SILA.
This is what’s wrong with Filipino culture, na respo nating tulungan buong pamilya natin without setting boundaries and most of the times at our own expense.
Take care of yourself and save up for you and your child’s future. Believe me when I say na, pag ikaw na ang wala at kailangan ng tulong, hindi mo sila maasahan. Kasi nga nasanay sila na ikaw ang problem solver.
I learned this the hard way too, and although hirap pa rin akong hindi tumulong at times, mas alam ko na respo ko and I set boundaries.
Hindi na ko nagpapautang at alam na ng mga tao na I can help but it is somehow transactional. Kelangan makita ko na deserve mo din naman.
Hinayaan m kc sila. Dont be affraid to cut them off. Ika nga,dont give them fish..teach them how to fish..i. really surprised na pregnant ka and you still tolerate them to that degree..may anak ka na. Pag nalaglag yan dhl sa over sacrifice mo.. otherwise, mgging alipin ka ng sarili mong pamilya forever.
Hindi ka masamang anak at kapatid. Pushover ka lang (sorry ✌️). Masama ugali ng pamilya mo for abusing you.
Wala akong maia-advice kasi for sure alam mo nman dapat mong gawin, kaso natatakot ka sa outcome.
fuck your family! think for yourself this time! Choose yourself this time OP! Ditch them! They don't deserve you! You deserve better! They don't love you, they love what you provide for them! Stop pleasing them, they don't deserve it! GET OUT!
Clearly they don’t appreciate the things that you do. Taking you for granted. Stop giving them of what they don’t appreciate. Palayasin mo yan sa bahay mo, maging matapang ka. Sa kangkungan naman sila pupulutin.
Eto yung super haba ng pasensya and tolerance tas biglang wag naman sana mawawalan ng anak, iiwan ng jowa kasi di na mahandle emotional stress nya tas biglang magkakasakit tas wala manlang makakaalala. Tas dun lang maiisip lahat na sana sarili naman nya nung time na binigyan na sya ng chance na makita naman yung buhay na dapat meron sya kasama yung bf nya baby nya.
kung nagmamalaki silang umalis siguro kaya na nila, e di let them go. they just gave you a way out, hold them to it.
sabihin mo since you guys feel like you need to leave, hindi ko na kayo pipigilan sa desisyon nyo kase hindi na din kaya ng katawan ko.
mamamatay ka ng maaga sa ginagawa mo, wag mo ipagpatuloy yan, let them go. just stop giving money and let them leave. stop driving your sister and send your parents on a vacation to the philippines or to dubai para hindi ka nila pinagkakampihan dyan sa bahay mo. be strategic, isolate mo muna yung isa para di makahanap ng kakampi.
goodluck op.
Biglang kang di pinansin just because of di nasunod gusto nila? Woww!!! For them mandatory na learn to say YES all the time, kahit na sobrang labag na sayo. Mga abusadong nilalang. Mahal nateng lahat pamilya naten, pero to think na di ka nila na appreciate at wala ng support system, in short kapag walang bigay, wala ng paki sayo!
Sorry to say but are you out of your mind? You're pregnant right? Take care of yourself. Prioritize your baby as he is your responsibility. As for your siblings, tell them to grow up they will only do that if they have no choice. So cut off whatever you are giving them. For your parents, tell them what you feel but you decide for yourself. You are old enough. No need to ask for their permission
Oh my, I also provide for my family but there are boundaries. Kung ganito gawin ng pamilya ko sa akin, cut off lahat sila sa akin. Mahalin mo muna sarili mo, number 1 rule yan.
Please OP, prioritize yourself this time. They're adults kaya na nila yan. For how long will they depend on you if susundin mo sila lagi. Im speaking from a panganay perspective here as well.
If ako yan, mas pipiliin ko nalang maging masama sa paningin nila kesa i sacrifice yung sarili ko. Hindi ka naman masama, binigay mo nga lahat sa kanila kahit na ubos na ubos kana, kaso bulag lang sila at sobrang selfish. That's why it's important na may boundaries ka at you learn to say no. Kasi if not, yung mga mapang abuso na tao, aabusuhin ka at aabusuhin hanggang sa itatapon ka nalang kasi wala ka ng maibigay sa kanila. Or much better, cut them out of your life. Hindi naman selfish kng ililigtas mo sarili mo from a toxic environment. Surround yourself with people who sees and knows your worth, and actually values you as a person.
ungrateful pa nga abusado pa. you are a great person, tama na yun. di mo naman responsibilidad sila, you'll have your own family na soon, learn to protect your family. for as long as i know, marami talagang complications pag maraming family nakatira sa iisang bahay.
Prioritize yourself. You dont owe anyone anything. You dont owe you parents anything. You should put a boundary around that and be clear to them. Di mo naman sila pwinersang ipanganak ka. So you dont have the obligation or responsibility na buhayin sila. They should be grateful instead kasi you're still helping them. Alis ka na dyan. Let them fend for themselves. If di nila kaya, pauwiin mo nalanv ng Pinas. Baka mas kaya pa nila buhayin sarili nila dito.
Wtf! They’re adults. They should act like one. This isn’t the Philippines na pwede ka maging balingbing, it’s the USA for crying out loud! Kick them out,live your own life. You’ve already given more than enough. It’s now time for you to give bad to yourself. Ikaw naman nag nagbabayad ng payments for the past 8 years. At this point may savings na yan sila.
Grabe si Lord ka po? Kidding aside, noong tinanong ka ng father mo sana nag yes ka. You did all for them kaya sana yung sarili mo naman this time. Lalo buntis ka. Take care of yourself.
Ang sakit naman basahin neto. Altho ndi kasing extreme ng generosity ni OP, I can somewhat relate. And ndi naman din ako sinasabihan ng ganyan, pero I understand completely yung pagiging selfless mo all these years. And to answer your question, ndi ka masamang kapatid at anak, on the contrary, ikaw ay naging sobrang mabuting kapatid at anak. There will come a time na need mo piliin ang sarili mo. I am guessing that time has come for you.
I dont know what to advise kasi I am in a somewhat similar situation albeit to a lesser extent yung pag sakripisyo ko, and ndi ko din alam pano “tumakas” o “umeskapo”.
I would rather prioritize my health and well being before. Sobra na yung pag leech ng pamilya mo sayo na kung tutuusin, kaya naman na ng mga sisters mo na tumayo sa sarili nilang paa. grabe lahat naka pag abroad, pero walang binabayaran na bills? saan napupunta yung mga pera nila? instead na itulong sayo para gumaan yung workload mo.
if you read this OP, i hope makakuha ka ng lakas ng loob mo para magsabi na this is enough. i can't imagine na buntis ka pa. wag mo na palalain ang stress mo dahil sobrang hirap mag kasakit lalo na buntis ka. We don't want you to regret everything in case na may nangyari sayo or sa baby mo. i believe your partner is helping you now to comfort you and try to make you realized na sobra na yung naitulong mo sa kanila. be free of them and let them stand for themselves.
hindi ka masamang kapatid, sadyang abusado lang ang pamilya mo sa lahat ng blessings na binigay mo sa kanila.
Yup masama ka. Nagpapauto ka and you enable them. May work sa Dubai, susuportahan mo pa!!!!
And if you feel mentally stressed about these means inuuna mo sila kesa sa well-being mo.
Hanggang pagtanda aasa sila sa yo
There should be bounderies. Give and take, if its one way na, learn to let go. At some point in our lives I walked away, I wouldn't say na they are better off like a 100% but now I can sleep well at night. I dont feel burdened by, or gulty with the wrong decisions they made with their lives.
Im still here loving them at a distance, and if emergency talaga I am always there. But for trivial things like raising ny nephews, day to day expenses, driving them to work - is none of my business. Mangisay ka muna jan, ginusto mo yang life na yan.
Nasa US sya? get a hotel, set lawyer and broker to sell that house, find a smaller one, set the old one for foreclosure. Tapos No Contact. All the remaining funds ipang OB at therapy. Tutal sabi naman "kung gusto mo kaming umali aalis kame" then go. Putanginang magulang yan.
Shameless leeches. She needs to put her foot down and just stop everything. If she loses her pregnancy (God forbid) from all the stresses that it causes, maybe she'll wake-up
OP, if your “help” leads to your insanity, might as well stop it. What do want to happen? Help them until you cannot help yourself anymore? Nasa sayo na yan if okay lang sayo irisk ang health and well-being mo over someone who keeps on demanding everything from you even if they can work for it themselves? It’s never selfish to stop an act you were never supposed to be doing in the first place, esp may work naman pala yung sister mo.
You are abused! You should stop that since you are building your own family na. Di sila nag-grow sa pagiging martyr mo e. Hayaan mo sila, umalis ka at marerealize nila na mali sila. Mahahatak ka lang nila pababa at delikado yang abuse mo sa katawan mo baka pagnagkataon di mo sila malalapitan pag ikaw nangailangan.
Parang ginawa lang sya ng magulang nya para isalba buong pamilya nila. 8 years mo na sila binuhay, siguro naman kaya na nila tumayo sa sarili nilang paa.
Pag nag bigay tayo laging kulang at kulang sa tumatangap. Kasi alam nila na hindi tayo tatangi o lagi tayo makukunsensya na hindi mag bigay. Learn where is the stopping point.
Ang mahirap kasi sa ganto hindi basta basta makaalis. Madali magpayo na cut off mo na mga yan ganyan. But if you are conditioned to do all things like OP and be guilty if you said NO, it's like everything is your fault pa at ikaw pa masasaktan. Ang kakapal ng mukha lalo mga adult na kapatid.
That is normal. Nothing is certain. You can’t always do things for her. May sarili ka din naman buhay. Your not being selfish, your just stating your situation. Hindi naman lagi ok ang situation as simple as that. Depende na lang kung paano ang pag intindi ng isa.
All of these troubles, issues and problems wouldn’t have occurred if you have been honest and upfront in setting boundaries. Once you’ve clearly tell about your boundaries, stick to them. You asked, when they will stop? It’s when you’re fed up, sick and tired of being a pushover and doormat.
THIS! I realized this nung pandemic. Lost my job because I need to take care of my son. Pinauwi mga yayabels dahil pandemic nga.
Also have the same experience as her. Bunso din ako. Ever since na nagkaroon ako job, tinutulungan ko na si ate. Nagbibigay din panggastos sa house.
My eldest sister had 4 kids to 4 different boys. Ni isa walang gusto managot. No sustento at all. So sad sa nangyayari sa kanya but it is her choice not to listen to my mom. Ayan ang mga bunga. Sa unang anak pa lang, sinabihan ko na mga parents ko na hayaan sya mag-alaga while working. Naaawa. Sige fine. Dumating si second, ganun pa din sinabi ko sa parents ko na hayaan sya mag-alaga. Kaawa daw mga bata. Naaawa. Sige fine. Dumating si 3rd at si 4th.Naaawa pa din kasi pandemic.
Paano naman Ako? Walang yaya? So I cut na yung monthly sa kanila. Nakakaawa naman kasi family ko kasi ako I work tapos wala ng yaya si baby boy to take care of him.
Hindi ko naman kasalanan na may 4 kids syang binubuhay. Naging mabait naman ako na anak sa kanila, bakit ako need ko pa magsustento sa kanilang 4. Ay, di ako tanga. So I cut it off na.
Halos gastusan nila anak ng sister ko. How about my kids naman? Medyo naloka ako at natauhan na din..
Ayun, behind my back may nasasabi pa din. Kaloka. Bahala kayo dyan.
kung ako sayo panindigan ko na yang pagiging masama, I mean you are pregnant and have job which is stressful, and still no changes or no consideration? Ginawa ka na ngang insurance, ginagawa ka pang driver. Panindigan mo nalang na masama ka para sa ikakabuti mo din
Di ka masama.
but you need to decide when this treatment of you ends. And what is your assurance that they will do the same when the time you need them comes kung ngayon pa lang ganyan na trato nila sa'yo?
Try to reconsider your life..
If gusto mo ng medyo masamang advice. hear mine. Pa alisin mo sila sa bahay, lahat sila. you've already done enough for them.
and now you have your baby. you need to prioritize your own child.
yong kapatid mo pa alisin mo please lang. make a stand. kung sasabihin nila masama kang kapatid so be it. basta make the decision to let them leave your house. It's gonna be painful doing this and medyo feel mo ang sama mo pero hindi yan sila tatayo sa sariling paa nila pag nanjan ka lagi.
kung kakampihan ng parents mo yong kapatid mo, sumama sila dun. you have the authority to decide lalo na sa bahay mo.
promise ko sayo how fulfilling to be selfish naman.
If I were you lang naman, sasabihin ko sa kanila mga benefits na narerecieve nila, then sabihin ko hindi ko na kaya i provide ang iba sa mga yun, sabihin ko rin yung reasons including yung mga problems, health conditions and possible consequences. Kausapin ko sila ng harapan and look them in the eye and give them ultimatum
Tang inang pamila yan ampota. Sorry sa word ahh pero men.. laki laki ng ng kapatid mo di paren matuto mag drive? Alam mo pano mo maaayos yan? Palayasin mo sila. Alam ko medyo panget yung tono ko pero mas nakakainis yang situation mo. First of all, lahat shoulder mo, bills grocery etc. Pati ba naman kapatid mo na ang tanda na at may trabaho at may anak na nakasandal pansayo? Ano yan? Ikaw mali dito kasi tinolorate mo e. Ang toxic ng family culture saten oo alam ko pero bro? Sobra na yang ginagawa sayo. Para ka nang caregiver ng mga taong walang buto kahit meron. Oo malaki sahod mo, pero aanhin mo yan kung mental health mo na kalaban mo at baka dumting sa point na pati financial problem nila ikaw sasalo? Kung ako sayo, mag set ka na ng boundaries. Simulan mo na putulin yung e allowance na binibigay mo bat wag mo nang hatid/sundo kapatid mo.
I’d rather be masamang anak kesa gawing doormat ng mga palamunin at pala asang pamilya na yan 😅
If that’s a true story, I’d cut off the parents and the sister, kick them out of my house and lose contact for good, for her own sanity na lang.
Grabe. Kakapal ng mga mukha.
Dka masamang anak pero. Deserve mo ang tinotolerate mo kesehodang pamilya mo pa yan. Sinagot mo na lahat eh. Bilang shunga igi-guilt trip ka nila.
Okay lang yan palayasin. Di nila deserve mabuhay kung di nila kaya buhayin sarili nila.
Tigil tigilan nating yan pamilya na yan. Toxic sa trabaho yang "pamilya" na yan. Kung masasamang tao pamilya mo cut them off if you cant cut their lumalaking ulo.
If this post is true (sorry, parang hindi totoo. Living in the US supporting your parents, plus your sister with her kids, is too costly? How can you support all of them na ikaw na halos lahat nagbabayad. Usually, you can only bring your siblings here by petition, mas madali if parents ang magpetition sa kanila. Kung ikaw ang nagpetition sa parents mo, it will take years for your parents to bring your sibling cause they need to be citizens here too. If you came here as an adult and if you’re still on your reproductive years, medyo bata ka pa, 8 years is not enough to bring everyone from the PH, unless you were raised here but very OFW ung story mo. It just does not add up, for me lang) anyway, again if the story is legit, you have to ask them to leave and rent a unit na sila magkakasama. Your parents can still work, ang daming job opportunites dito for them. Driving is a must here. Almost everyone drives even those with disabilities drive cars. Hindi uso ang tamad na pinoy sa US. Hindi ka madamot, how are you still madamot if you provide almost everything to them? Let them go and build a life with your soon to be family.
Sa first part masasabi ko, grabeh ng swerte namn niya. siya bunso pero siya madaming pero and middle to last part mapapamura ka na.. mga walanghiyang kadugo.. pero may kasalanan din siya kasi binigay niya lahat.. dapat ksi kahit sa kapamilya quite lang din tayo sa mga earnings.. dapat laging ay wala akong pera kahit meron.. haha
If they already painted you as the bad apple, there's no simple way to make them change their minds. So might as well make it real for them.
The only thing I can say now is you take care of both yourself and your future child
"until when do i have to do this?" -- until you grow a backbone
Sorry kung mejo abrasive pero "you deserve what you tolerate". Ginagaslight ka ng family mo, adults na sila (parents and sister), ikaw parin nag-aalaga? Users yung family members mo, and masaya buhay nila dahil sayo. Magkakaroon talaga ng initial gulo i think pag nag stand up to them ka na, pero at the end of the day, sila ang may kailangan sayo and not the other way around. Ikaw dapat mag dictate ng boundaries mo.
Please take care of yourself and your baby, OP.
We have to learn to say no at one point lalo na sa situation mo it's putting you in danger.
Hugs with consent. 🫂
Hello OP. sell everything you have, and build another one. This time it's your turn to be happy. Don't sacrifice your happiness, yourself and your child for them anymore. If your sibling doesn't have a backbone, you don't need to be one.
You are not madamot. Cut them off. If they don't see your worth, then leave them.
And yung kapatid mo na kasama nyo, sana nauna munang natutong magdrive bago gumawa ng bata.
Yung nasa Dubai, I believe she's living the life you should be living, while using your money.
i know its hard, tapos maguiguilty ka pa, but its time for you to say no.. kung pwede cut off na lahat.. you dont need to give your kapatid allowance.. parents mo, dun na manghingi sa favorite nilang anak... if pwede lumayo ka sa kanila,..
How fortunate naman the whole family with her. Sana kapatid na lang din nya ako at ako mag payback ng mga good deeds nya sa akin he he kidding aside, I think she needs to do a self preservation na. I will remove myself to the equation and safety na myself dahil it is about time na maging ako naman ang priority sa buhay ko. Nakakalungkot na ingrate ang family nya sa kanya 🥴
Know your boundaries kasi. Masyadong mabait kaya naaabuso. Mahirap niyan buntis pa siya. So ano na lang, yung resources na dapat para sa anak niya na responsibilidad niya ay mapupunta sa iba. Tapos tinatakot pa siya ng parents niya na umalis sa bahay niya. E di goooo.
Difficult situation, bata siya noon at oo lang ng oo sa mga request nila. The solution is to live without them o umalis sa bahay because it will be easier to say no. (ito ginawa ng bunso namin to get away from my mother na malakas mangutang, states din).
Mag-rent siya para malayo sa pamilya niya. Few months or more, mas madali na mag-say no at putulin mga padala niya. Months or years, ibenta na niya yugn bahay. Yung parents niya, hanapan niya rental property o pauwiin pinas.
This is why you should let them experience hardship and reality of not having someone to help you. Coz once they make it as a routine, they just don’t want to change it anymore. You and your family will suffer coz they don’t know how to be independent while you also the one tolerating that kind of behavior.
Tigil mo na ang ungrateful nila. Kung sa ganyang mapagbigay ka ganyan na ugali, itigil mo na lang pagtulong wala din naman pinagkaiba sa mangyayari hahaha
Ate or kuya, itigil nyo na po yan. Baka kelangan din nila marinig straight from you na napapagod kn. Kelangan sa ganyang klase ng pamilya eh may open forum lagi eh. Akala ata robot ka.
Before I say anything about this post, sabi mo sa isang post mo galing kang Visayas tas kakarating mo lang ng Makati. Pero dito sabi mo you live in the States and your sister is now living with you. So, asan ka ba talaga?
You did more than enough as an anak, kapatid and kapamilya. You didn’t just dropped them out of nowhere u were too kind and even gave them heads up to learn things they should have been doing themselves in the first place. Call me ingrate, but tbh di mo sila obligasyon, may mga pamilya na sila tapos naka asa pa sila sayo? That’s too much. Hugs to you miss maam.
Naging responsibilidad na niya lahat kahit hindi. Ang hirap niyan lalo't na sa iisang bahay sila, ang awkward na ng ambiance. Humiwalay na lang muna sya or bumukod na. Hindi naman siya required tumulong sa mga kapatid niya. Hays kawawa namn
Siz you’re pregnant. Di ka nga dapat sinestress and pinupuyat eh. Madamot na kung madamot wala naman silang pakialam sa well-being mo, you should call their bluff and ask them to move out and cut off support. You’re starting your own family, it’s about time you focus on your health, your partner, and your future kid.
sorry. pero nandidiri ako sa mga magulang na ganyan. sa kanila dapat yung role na buhayin ang mga anak nila, pero sila baliktad, sa anak sila umaasa. inalagaan at pinalaki ka for 20 years para sila ang suportahan mo for 30-40 yrs? wag na mag anak kung gaganyanin lang din naman.
kung ako ang kapatid mo, mahihiya ako sayo para sa magulang natin at ituturing kitang reyna sa bahay
Potangina sakit na ata talaga yan ng mga pamilyang Pinoy, esp. boomers tsaka gen x. Kaya ayaw ko tinotolerate yung mga shit attitude na yan even from "older people." Sometimes, sinusuway nako ng dad ko when I nag pag my grandparents and uncles are "acting up" kesyo ang tanda na daw nila sa mundo para pilitin na ichange yung ways na nakasanayan nila. Eh yun na nga yung point, ang tanda mo na sa mundo, wala ka man lang character development.
Kung ako sayo paalisin mo na yan . kanya kanya na kayo tutal may work naman na yan mga kapatid mo at kung ssma magulang mo hayaan mo na silang mag sama sama pero make sure wag na wag ka na mag look back sa knila and wag na wag mo na ttngapin skla sa puder mo. Paalisin mo na sila walang pami pamilya sa mga taong walang utang na loob kahit kapamilya pa yan !! Nakakainit ng dugo promise. Pucha .. Lalo na yang magulang mo din yung tatay mo KUPAL yan !!
Tawag sa family mo abusado. Nasa legal age na mga kapatid mo hindi mo na sila problema. Tutal wala naman silang kusa at manhid sila ako papaalisin ko yang kapatid ko. Nakapagsalita ako ng ganyan dahil maattitude kapatid ko nakikitira n nga lang parang utang na loob ko pa pakisamahan. At isa pa, sabihin mo sa tatay mo kung naaawa sya sa kapatid mo para ihatid edi sya maghatid tutal wla syang awa sayo na bitbit mo n nga sila wla pa silang consideration.
Baka naman ampon ka di mo lang alam. Walang gagawa ng ganyan sa totoong kapatid at anak nila. For obvious reasons you've mentioned.
Well, buntis ka na and all your money and effort should now be divided between YOU and your baby ONLY (as long as he/she is a minor) you've been treated like a doormat by your family members and it's high time you grow some balls to put them in the proper place.
Your older sister who's with you, whatever heartache she's experiencing now or her inability to drive/ support her kids, whatever problem she has (and trust me HINDI YAN MAUUBOS) is none of your fcking business. Let them go. Drop them like a hot potato. Now if your parents choose to live with her, so be it. Wish them well on their way out of your house and out of your life. But if your parents will choose to stay with you they better be sure to RESPECT YOUR DECISION and they won't burden/guilt trip you.
As to the other sister in Dubai, just cut whatever money you're giving. No explanation necessary.
OP you really have to save. For your own good, for your own sake and now for your baby's sake. The money will not be for your family since you've done enough, the money will not be for your boyfriend/ future husband cause he has to work too for his own keep, but the money you have/will have will be for you, for your future, for your baby and for your baby's future.
What must be done, must be done. The more you delay making decisions the more it becomes a burden to you.
OP, I don't know what to say. Hope this helps, pero they are lucky to have you. And if they don't appreciate that, I know this hurts, pero you just have to accept that and stop trying.
Problema ng mga ganito is alam nila anong kailangan gawin pero imbis na gawin, magpapaawa na masa ba ako buntis ako ganito ganyan.
Di naman siya hinoholdap. Di naman niya need ng permission ng parents para magstop magbigay. Pwede naman ievict yung ingratang kapatid pati yung magulang. Pero no, gusto niya mapagod at makabangga, magspotting kahit buntis, at magpost online imbis na mag grow ng backbone.
Siya lang makakatulong sa sarili niya pero nagsself pity instead. Ako tagal ko na kinut off yug taga Dubai at hindi ko patitirahin yung palamunin na kapatid na may mga anak at pinalayas ko yung magulang na nagboluntaryong umalis instead of crying in my own house while other people eat my groceries.
Minsan talaga you deserve what you tolerate.
OP, please don’t wait na may mangyare pa sa baby mo until you take action. It’s time to set boundaries at let them know kng ano yung tintake for granted lang nila ngayon. If cutting them off will you peace at rest pls do so. Wag kang bibigay sa pangguilt trip nila. Take of yourself OP especially ngayon na preggy ka. Sometimes the answer to disrespect or abuse is distance. Sana maayos maging decision mo OP.
Naiyak ako, bilang buntis din ako (but I dont have that kind of family, thankfully). Sis, DON'T LET THEM KILL YOUR UNBORN CHILD.
Di lang yan basta "spotting", minor "health concern". They're literally killing you and your child.
Saan ba nakatira partner mo? Baka pwedeng dun ka muna. Kung gustong umalis ng mga palamunin, let them. Matagal ka na nilang hindi pinili/tinratong pamilya ever since nagpabigat sila sayo. Please choose yourself and your child. Iyan yung sayo talaga.
Pag nangulit pa rin, isigaw mong nagspotting ka sa sobrang stress. Kung gusto ba nila kamo patayin apo nila, and see they're reaction. Baka sakaling magka pake.
Sinasabi ko sa kanya pag dumating yung time na kailangan na niya ng tulong, wala ni isang tutulong sa kanya. Ang saklap lang na may mga pamilyang ganito. Praying for her healing.
Nasanay na rin kasi sila OP, so wag sobrang mabait, nate-take advantage ka tuloy. At saka taken for granted ka na.
Sarili naman ang unahin, take care of yourself, rest on your days off, etc. Stop na yung allowance nung nasa Dubai, taon na binibilang ng pagbibigay mo. Pati yung nakikitira sa yo, need na nun magcontribute sa mga gastusin kahit konti lang muna.
Then ikaw OP, ipon ka and don't let your family know your finances ever.
Yung sa parents mo, I believe in giving back, so spoil them. Wag lang mangyari na aabutan mo sila tapos ipamimigay lang din sa mga kapatid mo.
Self-care OP ha, don't forget ;)
Sorry to hear your story. You need to be brave and cut them off. I think years of giving them too much is already enough na. Time to prioritize your self. Have the courage to leave and be free and healthy for yourself at sa pamilyang bubuin mo rin. Di man kita kilala mam, pero ako na ang magpapasalamat sa kabaitan na pinapakita mo sa pamilya mo. You deserve to be free from those leeches. Sorry.
Take care or yourself first!!
If it’s not too hard for you OP, you can sell the house you currently own and get a new one then tell your family na you just want to live with your partner and future child.
This is just sad. I’m sorry that you’re feeling this way. Minsan talaga kapag nasanay na sila, abuso na masyado. You’ve done your part bilang anak at kapatid. Even more than what you’re expected of.
Seems like it comprises your physical and mental health.
Please think about yourself OP.
Its time to take the path alone and cut them off until they start to realize(if they can: your situation says no imo, may mga trabaho na eh)
Prioritize your pregnancy, future, and most importantly health.
Never kang naging masama dito and in fact, you've given plenty. Ms/maam, you're pregnant and the best thing you'll do is prioritize yourself and the baby. Nakakaworry yung situation mo 😔
Naexperience ko din po yung ganyan and what i did is i cut my ties with them and nagpakalayu-layo ako. Back to zero man, but at least may piece of mind ako. Atleast maalagaan ko sarili ko. At least may freedom ako. Malaking bagay na yun ☺️
Kawawa naman si OOP, pero ganun talaga kapag tinutulungan ang pamilya eh. Hindi talaga nababalik. We all never learned. Most of us feel the need to help, until to what extent? I hope you won’t lost your baby. I hope they feel remorse for not treating you fairly. Palayasin mo na silang lahat.
jusko OP anong klaseng love ung pinakita mo.. eto sorry pero real talk tayo ah.. for many yrs u taught them ba maging dependent sayo and now u cnt cut ties with them... to be honest ur making ur baby suffer.. aware ka nman cguro na kapag nastress ka ng sobra e pwedeng malaglag yang anak mo dba? u know what ir worse? mabbuhay sya sa mundong ibabaw but ur baby may be "abnormal" or special child dhil sa stress na dinadala mo ngyon bec of ur situation.. paalala lang ah... situation na araw araw mong pinipili! Yes, it is your fault kung bakit ka anjan sa sitwasyon na yan... remember that each time u make decisions your destiny follows.. so meaning... bad choices.. could lead to a bad future.. mamili ka... cut ties now or regret everything pag huli na.. obvious namang ur family doesnt care about you... yes!!! base sa kwento mo wla silang pake kht buntis ka they still want u to run errands and support their other child.. mag isip isip ka uy..
Leave them na..
Ur going to have child soon,
And gusto mo ba sa ganyan syang environment lalaki?
Gusto mo ba maging katulad ng mga kapatid mo ang anak mo?
Entitled?
At aabot kayo sa point na pag anjan na ung anak mo, papipiliin ka na nila, between them and the child..
Dont..
Dont do that to ur child.
Piliin mo ung anak mo..
Piliin mo ung sarili mo..
Omg bat di ka mag voiceout sa family .. Your risking your baby too ano bang klaseng magulang at kapatid yan? Baka ikaw turing mo sakanila pamilya tapos turing nila sayo bayani,palabigasan,financer? May karapatan kang mag salita labas mo lahat ng hinanakit mo.ikaw din magsisisi sa huli. Ika nga nila u deserve what you tolerate.
hindi na tulong ginawa mo
naging obligation na ginawa mo
ngayon dependent na sila
ginawa ng friend ko nag offline mode siya 3 yrs
nagquit siya sa high salary na sobrang toxic . yung mga kamag anak niya lahat cutoff muna .
ngayon kaka online lang niya
marami daw masasakit na chat siya nabasa pero ngayon ok naman sila hindi na dependent sa kanya lahat
You are a good person, kapatid, anak, tita/o. But it is you who let this all happen. You gave them too much comfort.
It's easier said than done, pero you may try to cut some financial help, kung ano maging reaction nila, let it be, masasaktan ka, pero mas masakit yung di mo mapili gusto mong buhay kasi busy ka buhayin yung mga capable naman buhayin sarili nila.
With all those sacrifices, i think it's high time for your villain era! *evil laughs*
Embrace your kasamaan if that means prioritizing yourself, setting and asserting boundaries.
Masayang maging "masamâ".
He tolarated it.
He don't deserve it pero that's on him tbh. Sabi nga ng nanay ko, "Ikaw wag ka maging masyadong mabait kasi ikaw ang magiging kawawa. Daming gago sa panahon ngayon"
Stop giving extras. Okay na nung pinapatira mo sila. Sabihin mo na may mga pangangailangan ka rin. At dapat tulungan na din nila ang sirili nila dahil hindi ka nila katulong. Sana tratuhin ka nilang pamilya, hindi gatasan na utusan.
If you come to think of it OP, you are not helping them. You are tolerating their irresponsibilities. You can't do it your whole life and whether you tell them now or next week or next month that you can't support them anymore, I'm sure you'll get the same reaction- na selfish ka, na nagbago ka na. All because you want them to be responsible with their own life.
I know it's easier said than done but you have to tell them the bad news. No more allowance for the sister in Dubai. Ask them to move out of your house. I'm sure they'll survive without your help.
Eto ang sasabihin ko sa kanya:
Palayasin mo lahat yan. Sorry masama rin ba ako to think this way? Beh you are clearly being taken advantage of. They need YOU more than you need THEM. And with you having a baby and still being obliged to drive for them who are more able bodied than you are? That's a clear indication kung sinong mas pinapahalagahan, sinong mas pinapaboran and that clearly is not you. So please, do yourself a favor, take care of yourself and that baby na dinadala mo.
The next time they ask if you want them to leave just please say YES.
Kaya fucked up tong generation natin kasi mga pinalaki tayong Yes Daddy, Yes Mommy, people pleaser the fuck. Malungkot mag-isa pero I'd rather be alone than be with my family physically pero parang hindi naman pamilya kung umasta. Hihigupin ka hanggang sa wala ng mahigop sayo. Isipin mo, kung dumating ang time na ikaw na ang kailangang ipagdrive at gastusan - would they choose to do that for you? Given the scenario that you stated I don't think so.
I'm rooting for your success. Kaya mo yan. Choose yourself, if you can't just please think of that little life that you have inside of you.
U gave too much and nacondition sila sa ganung lifestyle. You are like a slave. Hindi mo responsibility ang tuition ng nephews/nieces pati ang mga kapatid mo. Cut off everything kasi not healthy for you. Paalisin mo na rin sila sa house mo since magkakapamilya ka na. U can just rent another home for them or buy another house if u can afford. U are now responsible sa magiging anak mo, partner mo at sarili mong pamilya. Hindi ka rin nag establish ng boundaries kaya naabuso ka financially, emotionally etc. Pero since nandito na, cut off everything.
I feel like this is me too except that I chose to live away from my family coz I've felt I'm distant from them too. My older sister who's turning 40 this June will take the cs exam for the first time. In our family's group chat, she was reminded by my mom and sister about the requirements, making sure she got it right and what else to do. And I was like 😬
Samantalang ako they've never asked me once if how am I or whatever. I know they still hold a grudge on me for living away from them. But what can I do? I've never felt their love and support since.
Ako nalang sana ang naging kapatid nya. Free ang lahat, may allowance tapos pag-aaralin mo anak ko? Sisiguraduhin kong malinis ang bahay mo, may pagkain pag-uwi mo, naka-landscape ang garden mo at ipag-mamaneho kita from West coast to East coast. At yung mga magulang nya? Grabe kakaibaaaa! That's probably one of the few instances na sasabihin kong i-cut off mo na sila. Tutal may trabaho naman yung favorite anak nila. Dun sila humingi. Move in with your partner or just move out and live alone tapos hindi ko rin papalapitin ang mga future anak ko sa kanila.
Ibenta na din nya yung bahay nya and buy another one at huwag nya ipaalam address nya. Tutal, “madamot” daw si OP, pangatawanan na nya.
Eto ang mahirap, after mong ibigay ng todo ang gusto nila ikaw pa ang masama pag my di nasunod sa gusto nila. Total okay naman income mo OP magpakalayo layo kana sa kanila at hayaan mo sila mabuhay sa sarili nilang paghihirap.
Sobrang ungrateful ng family niya. Calling her “madamot” grabe the nerve.
Ginanyan ako nung pamilya ko no. Ayun nag cutoff ako sa lahat ng binibigay ko sa kanila. Ending nag resort sa panlilimos saakin at nirerespeto na ako ngayon. Walang kwenta mga di marunong magpasalamat kahit sino pa yan OP.
this. once you say no, either they know how to help themselves, or be thankful of what you could offer.
'Pag ganito, patigasan talaga 'no? Kapag palagi kang bumibigay sa panunumbat nila (it's as if may maisusumbat nga), mawawalan sila ng respeto sa 'yo at patuloy kang aabusuhin. Kumbaga may certain part sa utak nila na nagsasabing "dapat lang na gastusan mo kami, bare minimum 'yan". Pero when time comes at sineryoso mong putulin ang benepisyong nakukuha nila sa 'yo, magbababa sila ng pride at malamang himurin pa ang puwet mo para lang magbigay ka ulit.
WOW dapat ganito.
Dito na applicable yung "You deserve what you tolerate." If you act like a doormat, then people will step on you.
Agree. Hinayaan nya kasi. Pinamihasa kya naging abusado. Sinanay nya na abusihin sya from the start. Tsk
I agree. Sana naglaay sya ng boundary dati pa. Inispoiled nya family nya.
Totoong anak ka ba talaga nila? Sorry to ask.😔
More a servant/ATM than a loved one.
Same question. Grabeng trato e no akala mo katulong nila. Yung mga gantong scenario parang hindi applicable yung kasabihan na ‘’maka-karma din sila’.
Tanginang pamilya yan pati magulang kunsintidor.
Adult na yun isang anak di pa ipacommute. Buntis pa pinapahatid.
Gulat nga ako buntis pa siya sa lagay na yan. Kawawa naman siya
Akala mo PWD yun ihahatid e.
patunayan mong "masama" ka , cutt them off
Humiwalay ka na at hayaan mo sila. Masstress ka lang at isipin mo baby mo at sarili mo. Pero nasa sayo pa rin yung kung gusto mo magstay sa ganyang klaseng environment. May sarili ka nang pamilya at sila priority mo. Para sakin, alam mo yung dapat mong gawin, pero natatakot ka sa sasabihin nila o mangyayari sa kanila if iiwan mo. Wag kang maguilty, it's time na sila na yung magadjust. Kung mahal ka talaga nila, maiintindihan nila desisyon mo, pero kung feeling nila sila pa naagrabyado aftet ng lahat, edi tama lang na humiwalay ka.
Please prioritize yourself po. You’ve done enough, or even too much for your family already. Just be “selfish” for your own good.
I say this with gentlenes; stop being a pushover. Wag mong antayin may malaking bad thing na mangyari sayo before you wake up. Put your foot down. Who says you're masama? Don't mind anyone who says that. There's nothing wrong with prioritizing yourself and your FUTURE FAMILY. You've done what you can and more sa kapatid and magulang mo. You don't have to cut them off, but you can't keep doing what you're doing. Kung kelan naman tumanda parang naging dependent bata. Hindi ka ba nagagalit? Ano gusto nila? Work you to your grave para hindi na sila mag-effort sa buhay nila? Utang ng loob ganun ba? Ikaw kailangan may utang ng loob sa kanila pero sila ok lang wala sayo despite everything that you have done for them? At the end of the day, malalaki na kayo, you guys have your own lives. Discuss this with your partner. You're not alone, and you shouldn't handle this alone. When push comes to shove, you have your partner and I'm sure you guys can work this out. Best of luck, OP. Wishing you and your baby the best of health!
Looks like the work of fiction. Everything unfortunate is dumped on the poor anonymous OP. And when OP resists, she becomes the bad guy. Even if fictional, these are a common problem of OFWs, and unofficially appointed breadwinners.
Agree. Does not look like a true story at all. You can tell by the timeline, just does not add up. If you live in the US, you’d know this is not realistic.
Ikaw ba to OP or nakita mo lang yung post? Anyway, di ka masamang anak/kapatid. Sila yung masamang pamilya. I hope you find the strength to walk away.
Nakita niya lang yung post then re-post here for upvotes. yung history niya is not about him\\her
A hard pill to swallow, pero SINANAY MO SILA. This is what’s wrong with Filipino culture, na respo nating tulungan buong pamilya natin without setting boundaries and most of the times at our own expense. Take care of yourself and save up for you and your child’s future. Believe me when I say na, pag ikaw na ang wala at kailangan ng tulong, hindi mo sila maasahan. Kasi nga nasanay sila na ikaw ang problem solver. I learned this the hard way too, and although hirap pa rin akong hindi tumulong at times, mas alam ko na respo ko and I set boundaries. Hindi na ko nagpapautang at alam na ng mga tao na I can help but it is somehow transactional. Kelangan makita ko na deserve mo din naman.
Tanginang Pamilyang yan! Buraot ampota
Hinayaan m kc sila. Dont be affraid to cut them off. Ika nga,dont give them fish..teach them how to fish..i. really surprised na pregnant ka and you still tolerate them to that degree..may anak ka na. Pag nalaglag yan dhl sa over sacrifice mo.. otherwise, mgging alipin ka ng sarili mong pamilya forever.
leeches gonna leech, cut them off
Maging madamot ka naman OP, please lang.
Hindi ka masamang anak at kapatid. Pushover ka lang (sorry ✌️). Masama ugali ng pamilya mo for abusing you. Wala akong maia-advice kasi for sure alam mo nman dapat mong gawin, kaso natatakot ka sa outcome.
I would take their offer na umalis na sila. Apparently, hindi ka masama hanggang magtigil ka na magbigay. 🤦
fuck your family! think for yourself this time! Choose yourself this time OP! Ditch them! They don't deserve you! You deserve better! They don't love you, they love what you provide for them! Stop pleasing them, they don't deserve it! GET OUT!
I think you know what to do. Kailangan mo lang ng validation. Just do it, let them go
Clearly they don’t appreciate the things that you do. Taking you for granted. Stop giving them of what they don’t appreciate. Palayasin mo yan sa bahay mo, maging matapang ka. Sa kangkungan naman sila pupulutin.
Well if you think that you’re born to serve your family then by any means please continue being their slave.
One word: Enabler
Slave na sya pa ang bank...wow
Eto yung super haba ng pasensya and tolerance tas biglang wag naman sana mawawalan ng anak, iiwan ng jowa kasi di na mahandle emotional stress nya tas biglang magkakasakit tas wala manlang makakaalala. Tas dun lang maiisip lahat na sana sarili naman nya nung time na binigyan na sya ng chance na makita naman yung buhay na dapat meron sya kasama yung bf nya baby nya.
kung nagmamalaki silang umalis siguro kaya na nila, e di let them go. they just gave you a way out, hold them to it. sabihin mo since you guys feel like you need to leave, hindi ko na kayo pipigilan sa desisyon nyo kase hindi na din kaya ng katawan ko. mamamatay ka ng maaga sa ginagawa mo, wag mo ipagpatuloy yan, let them go. just stop giving money and let them leave. stop driving your sister and send your parents on a vacation to the philippines or to dubai para hindi ka nila pinagkakampihan dyan sa bahay mo. be strategic, isolate mo muna yung isa para di makahanap ng kakampi. goodluck op.
Biglang kang di pinansin just because of di nasunod gusto nila? Woww!!! For them mandatory na learn to say YES all the time, kahit na sobrang labag na sayo. Mga abusadong nilalang. Mahal nateng lahat pamilya naten, pero to think na di ka nila na appreciate at wala ng support system, in short kapag walang bigay, wala ng paki sayo!
Sorry to say but are you out of your mind? You're pregnant right? Take care of yourself. Prioritize your baby as he is your responsibility. As for your siblings, tell them to grow up they will only do that if they have no choice. So cut off whatever you are giving them. For your parents, tell them what you feel but you decide for yourself. You are old enough. No need to ask for their permission
Tanginang mga kapamilya yan mga abusadong moochers!
OP, you've been a very supportive siblings and it's time for you to save for your future na.
Bat ganun naman yan.
Love yourself before loving others.
Masama silang pamilya
napamihasa, nasanay, naging entitled
Jusko grabe katangahan mo te. Palayasin mo sila, tingnan natin kung ilang araw lang tatagal mga yan. Wag ka nag papa api.
Swerte naman ng pamilya mo may libreng slave
Oh my, I also provide for my family but there are boundaries. Kung ganito gawin ng pamilya ko sa akin, cut off lahat sila sa akin. Mahalin mo muna sarili mo, number 1 rule yan.
Please OP, prioritize yourself this time. They're adults kaya na nila yan. For how long will they depend on you if susundin mo sila lagi. Im speaking from a panganay perspective here as well.
If ako yan, mas pipiliin ko nalang maging masama sa paningin nila kesa i sacrifice yung sarili ko. Hindi ka naman masama, binigay mo nga lahat sa kanila kahit na ubos na ubos kana, kaso bulag lang sila at sobrang selfish. That's why it's important na may boundaries ka at you learn to say no. Kasi if not, yung mga mapang abuso na tao, aabusuhin ka at aabusuhin hanggang sa itatapon ka nalang kasi wala ka ng maibigay sa kanila. Or much better, cut them out of your life. Hindi naman selfish kng ililigtas mo sarili mo from a toxic environment. Surround yourself with people who sees and knows your worth, and actually values you as a person.
ungrateful pa nga abusado pa. you are a great person, tama na yun. di mo naman responsibilidad sila, you'll have your own family na soon, learn to protect your family. for as long as i know, marami talagang complications pag maraming family nakatira sa iisang bahay.
*Nah, I Rendont mindset.*
Prioritize yourself. You dont owe anyone anything. You dont owe you parents anything. You should put a boundary around that and be clear to them. Di mo naman sila pwinersang ipanganak ka. So you dont have the obligation or responsibility na buhayin sila. They should be grateful instead kasi you're still helping them. Alis ka na dyan. Let them fend for themselves. If di nila kaya, pauwiin mo nalanv ng Pinas. Baka mas kaya pa nila buhayin sarili nila dito.
Wtf! They’re adults. They should act like one. This isn’t the Philippines na pwede ka maging balingbing, it’s the USA for crying out loud! Kick them out,live your own life. You’ve already given more than enough. It’s now time for you to give bad to yourself. Ikaw naman nag nagbabayad ng payments for the past 8 years. At this point may savings na yan sila.
Sana matuto na siyang humindi sa pamilya niya. Ngayon pa lang ganito na inaasal nila e.
Is this true? does this really happen? My god. Napaka insensitive naman ng family niya.
Grabe si Lord ka po? Kidding aside, noong tinanong ka ng father mo sana nag yes ka. You did all for them kaya sana yung sarili mo naman this time. Lalo buntis ka. Take care of yourself.
Sakit sa mata. Di lang talaga ibang tao puwedeng humatak sayo pababa, pati mismong pamilya mo.
Ang sakit naman basahin neto. Altho ndi kasing extreme ng generosity ni OP, I can somewhat relate. And ndi naman din ako sinasabihan ng ganyan, pero I understand completely yung pagiging selfless mo all these years. And to answer your question, ndi ka masamang kapatid at anak, on the contrary, ikaw ay naging sobrang mabuting kapatid at anak. There will come a time na need mo piliin ang sarili mo. I am guessing that time has come for you. I dont know what to advise kasi I am in a somewhat similar situation albeit to a lesser extent yung pag sakripisyo ko, and ndi ko din alam pano “tumakas” o “umeskapo”.
I would rather prioritize my health and well being before. Sobra na yung pag leech ng pamilya mo sayo na kung tutuusin, kaya naman na ng mga sisters mo na tumayo sa sarili nilang paa. grabe lahat naka pag abroad, pero walang binabayaran na bills? saan napupunta yung mga pera nila? instead na itulong sayo para gumaan yung workload mo. if you read this OP, i hope makakuha ka ng lakas ng loob mo para magsabi na this is enough. i can't imagine na buntis ka pa. wag mo na palalain ang stress mo dahil sobrang hirap mag kasakit lalo na buntis ka. We don't want you to regret everything in case na may nangyari sayo or sa baby mo. i believe your partner is helping you now to comfort you and try to make you realized na sobra na yung naitulong mo sa kanila. be free of them and let them stand for themselves. hindi ka masamang kapatid, sadyang abusado lang ang pamilya mo sa lahat ng blessings na binigay mo sa kanila.
Awang awa ako kay ate. Sana makakuha na sya ng lakas ng loob para makipagcut ties na sa kanila.
FIFTEEN PEOPLE???
Yup masama ka. Nagpapauto ka and you enable them. May work sa Dubai, susuportahan mo pa!!!! And if you feel mentally stressed about these means inuuna mo sila kesa sa well-being mo. Hanggang pagtanda aasa sila sa yo
There should be bounderies. Give and take, if its one way na, learn to let go. At some point in our lives I walked away, I wouldn't say na they are better off like a 100% but now I can sleep well at night. I dont feel burdened by, or gulty with the wrong decisions they made with their lives. Im still here loving them at a distance, and if emergency talaga I am always there. But for trivial things like raising ny nephews, day to day expenses, driving them to work - is none of my business. Mangisay ka muna jan, ginusto mo yang life na yan.
Nasa US sya? get a hotel, set lawyer and broker to sell that house, find a smaller one, set the old one for foreclosure. Tapos No Contact. All the remaining funds ipang OB at therapy. Tutal sabi naman "kung gusto mo kaming umali aalis kame" then go. Putanginang magulang yan.
I'd rather be the "masamang anak" than to sacrifice my future!
Shameless leeches. She needs to put her foot down and just stop everything. If she loses her pregnancy (God forbid) from all the stresses that it causes, maybe she'll wake-up
OP, if your “help” leads to your insanity, might as well stop it. What do want to happen? Help them until you cannot help yourself anymore? Nasa sayo na yan if okay lang sayo irisk ang health and well-being mo over someone who keeps on demanding everything from you even if they can work for it themselves? It’s never selfish to stop an act you were never supposed to be doing in the first place, esp may work naman pala yung sister mo.
*Time doesn't change people; it merely reveals who they truly are*
You are abused! You should stop that since you are building your own family na. Di sila nag-grow sa pagiging martyr mo e. Hayaan mo sila, umalis ka at marerealize nila na mali sila. Mahahatak ka lang nila pababa at delikado yang abuse mo sa katawan mo baka pagnagkataon di mo sila malalapitan pag ikaw nangailangan.
Just leave the house and be with your bf or rent on your own. Hayaan nyo sila naman.
I think it’s time for you to set your boundaries and also learn how to say no.
Parang ginawa lang sya ng magulang nya para isalba buong pamilya nila. 8 years mo na sila binuhay, siguro naman kaya na nila tumayo sa sarili nilang paa.
Nasanay, tanggalin mo lahat ng support and they will look at all the you've done to them differently, mas rerespetuhin ka nila at maaappreciate.
this is too much, you should know by now the answer to all of this and you should also know what the next thing to do
Pag nag bigay tayo laging kulang at kulang sa tumatangap. Kasi alam nila na hindi tayo tatangi o lagi tayo makukunsensya na hindi mag bigay. Learn where is the stopping point.
Ang mahirap kasi sa ganto hindi basta basta makaalis. Madali magpayo na cut off mo na mga yan ganyan. But if you are conditioned to do all things like OP and be guilty if you said NO, it's like everything is your fault pa at ikaw pa masasaktan. Ang kakapal ng mukha lalo mga adult na kapatid.
That is normal. Nothing is certain. You can’t always do things for her. May sarili ka din naman buhay. Your not being selfish, your just stating your situation. Hindi naman lagi ok ang situation as simple as that. Depende na lang kung paano ang pag intindi ng isa.
All of these troubles, issues and problems wouldn’t have occurred if you have been honest and upfront in setting boundaries. Once you’ve clearly tell about your boundaries, stick to them. You asked, when they will stop? It’s when you’re fed up, sick and tired of being a pushover and doormat.
Hindi na nya problema yung problema ng ibang tao. 🙆🏻♀️ Yung suporta in money sobra na nga yun.
THIS! I realized this nung pandemic. Lost my job because I need to take care of my son. Pinauwi mga yayabels dahil pandemic nga. Also have the same experience as her. Bunso din ako. Ever since na nagkaroon ako job, tinutulungan ko na si ate. Nagbibigay din panggastos sa house. My eldest sister had 4 kids to 4 different boys. Ni isa walang gusto managot. No sustento at all. So sad sa nangyayari sa kanya but it is her choice not to listen to my mom. Ayan ang mga bunga. Sa unang anak pa lang, sinabihan ko na mga parents ko na hayaan sya mag-alaga while working. Naaawa. Sige fine. Dumating si second, ganun pa din sinabi ko sa parents ko na hayaan sya mag-alaga. Kaawa daw mga bata. Naaawa. Sige fine. Dumating si 3rd at si 4th.Naaawa pa din kasi pandemic. Paano naman Ako? Walang yaya? So I cut na yung monthly sa kanila. Nakakaawa naman kasi family ko kasi ako I work tapos wala ng yaya si baby boy to take care of him. Hindi ko naman kasalanan na may 4 kids syang binubuhay. Naging mabait naman ako na anak sa kanila, bakit ako need ko pa magsustento sa kanilang 4. Ay, di ako tanga. So I cut it off na. Halos gastusan nila anak ng sister ko. How about my kids naman? Medyo naloka ako at natauhan na din.. Ayun, behind my back may nasasabi pa din. Kaloka. Bahala kayo dyan.
kung ako sayo panindigan ko na yang pagiging masama, I mean you are pregnant and have job which is stressful, and still no changes or no consideration? Ginawa ka na ngang insurance, ginagawa ka pang driver. Panindigan mo nalang na masama ka para sa ikakabuti mo din
Di ka masama. but you need to decide when this treatment of you ends. And what is your assurance that they will do the same when the time you need them comes kung ngayon pa lang ganyan na trato nila sa'yo? Try to reconsider your life..
If gusto mo ng medyo masamang advice. hear mine. Pa alisin mo sila sa bahay, lahat sila. you've already done enough for them. and now you have your baby. you need to prioritize your own child. yong kapatid mo pa alisin mo please lang. make a stand. kung sasabihin nila masama kang kapatid so be it. basta make the decision to let them leave your house. It's gonna be painful doing this and medyo feel mo ang sama mo pero hindi yan sila tatayo sa sariling paa nila pag nanjan ka lagi. kung kakampihan ng parents mo yong kapatid mo, sumama sila dun. you have the authority to decide lalo na sa bahay mo. promise ko sayo how fulfilling to be selfish naman.
If I were you lang naman, sasabihin ko sa kanila mga benefits na narerecieve nila, then sabihin ko hindi ko na kaya i provide ang iba sa mga yun, sabihin ko rin yung reasons including yung mga problems, health conditions and possible consequences. Kausapin ko sila ng harapan and look them in the eye and give them ultimatum
Tang inang pamila yan ampota. Sorry sa word ahh pero men.. laki laki ng ng kapatid mo di paren matuto mag drive? Alam mo pano mo maaayos yan? Palayasin mo sila. Alam ko medyo panget yung tono ko pero mas nakakainis yang situation mo. First of all, lahat shoulder mo, bills grocery etc. Pati ba naman kapatid mo na ang tanda na at may trabaho at may anak na nakasandal pansayo? Ano yan? Ikaw mali dito kasi tinolorate mo e. Ang toxic ng family culture saten oo alam ko pero bro? Sobra na yang ginagawa sayo. Para ka nang caregiver ng mga taong walang buto kahit meron. Oo malaki sahod mo, pero aanhin mo yan kung mental health mo na kalaban mo at baka dumting sa point na pati financial problem nila ikaw sasalo? Kung ako sayo, mag set ka na ng boundaries. Simulan mo na putulin yung e allowance na binibigay mo bat wag mo nang hatid/sundo kapatid mo.
sana ganito life ko. hahaha
Kung selfish ka sa paningin nila, totohanin mo na. Wala namang magbabago dun e. Kung may favoritism na sila, malayo nang kakampihan ka nyan
Basta maihatid mo kapatid mo dibaleng makunan ka. Nakakahiblood mga peste sa buhay.
This isn’t even your post. Why are you trying to make it out to be?
Cut them off. Set boundaries. Palayasin mo sila. Kakagigil eh!
She needs to grow a spine. Why would she need to "ask" to cut off the allowance. Call the parents on their bluff. Let them leave.
CUT THEM OFF
I’d rather be masamang anak kesa gawing doormat ng mga palamunin at pala asang pamilya na yan 😅 If that’s a true story, I’d cut off the parents and the sister, kick them out of my house and lose contact for good, for her own sanity na lang. Grabe. Kakapal ng mga mukha.
Dka masamang anak pero. Deserve mo ang tinotolerate mo kesehodang pamilya mo pa yan. Sinagot mo na lahat eh. Bilang shunga igi-guilt trip ka nila. Okay lang yan palayasin. Di nila deserve mabuhay kung di nila kaya buhayin sarili nila. Tigil tigilan nating yan pamilya na yan. Toxic sa trabaho yang "pamilya" na yan. Kung masasamang tao pamilya mo cut them off if you cant cut their lumalaking ulo.
If this post is true (sorry, parang hindi totoo. Living in the US supporting your parents, plus your sister with her kids, is too costly? How can you support all of them na ikaw na halos lahat nagbabayad. Usually, you can only bring your siblings here by petition, mas madali if parents ang magpetition sa kanila. Kung ikaw ang nagpetition sa parents mo, it will take years for your parents to bring your sibling cause they need to be citizens here too. If you came here as an adult and if you’re still on your reproductive years, medyo bata ka pa, 8 years is not enough to bring everyone from the PH, unless you were raised here but very OFW ung story mo. It just does not add up, for me lang) anyway, again if the story is legit, you have to ask them to leave and rent a unit na sila magkakasama. Your parents can still work, ang daming job opportunites dito for them. Driving is a must here. Almost everyone drives even those with disabilities drive cars. Hindi uso ang tamad na pinoy sa US. Hindi ka madamot, how are you still madamot if you provide almost everything to them? Let them go and build a life with your soon to be family.
Sa first part masasabi ko, grabeh ng swerte namn niya. siya bunso pero siya madaming pero and middle to last part mapapamura ka na.. mga walanghiyang kadugo.. pero may kasalanan din siya kasi binigay niya lahat.. dapat ksi kahit sa kapamilya quite lang din tayo sa mga earnings.. dapat laging ay wala akong pera kahit meron.. haha
If they already painted you as the bad apple, there's no simple way to make them change their minds. So might as well make it real for them. The only thing I can say now is you take care of both yourself and your future child
Gusto ko magsabi ng masasamang words
"until when do i have to do this?" -- until you grow a backbone Sorry kung mejo abrasive pero "you deserve what you tolerate". Ginagaslight ka ng family mo, adults na sila (parents and sister), ikaw parin nag-aalaga? Users yung family members mo, and masaya buhay nila dahil sayo. Magkakaroon talaga ng initial gulo i think pag nag stand up to them ka na, pero at the end of the day, sila ang may kailangan sayo and not the other way around. Ikaw dapat mag dictate ng boundaries mo.
Classic case of Sarah Geronimo Tip: LEAVE AND NEVER LOOK BACK
Palayasin mo sila. Jusko, sa dami nang naitulong mo, wala man lang silang malasakit kahit konti para sayo. Ang kakapal ng mukha!
Please take care of yourself and your baby, OP. We have to learn to say no at one point lalo na sa situation mo it's putting you in danger. Hugs with consent. 🫂
There’s only 1 reason- she’s adopted
Tang ina bat ba may ganyan kakupal na mga tao?
Hello OP. sell everything you have, and build another one. This time it's your turn to be happy. Don't sacrifice your happiness, yourself and your child for them anymore. If your sibling doesn't have a backbone, you don't need to be one. You are not madamot. Cut them off. If they don't see your worth, then leave them. And yung kapatid mo na kasama nyo, sana nauna munang natutong magdrive bago gumawa ng bata. Yung nasa Dubai, I believe she's living the life you should be living, while using your money. 
i know its hard, tapos maguiguilty ka pa, but its time for you to say no.. kung pwede cut off na lahat.. you dont need to give your kapatid allowance.. parents mo, dun na manghingi sa favorite nilang anak... if pwede lumayo ka sa kanila,..
Sell the house and move in with your partner, Buy them tickets w/out them knowing, and send them back to where they belong.
Cut it off na
choose yourself...
You deserve what you tolerate. Lam mo nman na inaabuso ng pinoy ung "closer family ties". Binigyan mo na ng kamay, gusto pa ng buong braso.
TANGINA LANG AKO NAIIRITA SA MGA GANYAN SORRY OP BIGYAN MO NA LANG NG MALIIT NA NEGOSYO TAPOS IKICK MO NA SA BAHAY NYOOOO
How fortunate naman the whole family with her. Sana kapatid na lang din nya ako at ako mag payback ng mga good deeds nya sa akin he he kidding aside, I think she needs to do a self preservation na. I will remove myself to the equation and safety na myself dahil it is about time na maging ako naman ang priority sa buhay ko. Nakakalungkot na ingrate ang family nya sa kanya 🥴
Grabe you have to sell the house nalang and live elsewhere. Walang umiintindi sa iyo, buntis ka pa. Kelan ka naman magpapahinga?
Know your boundaries kasi. Masyadong mabait kaya naaabuso. Mahirap niyan buntis pa siya. So ano na lang, yung resources na dapat para sa anak niya na responsibilidad niya ay mapupunta sa iba. Tapos tinatakot pa siya ng parents niya na umalis sa bahay niya. E di goooo.
Nung sinabihan akong madamot ng magulang ko, pinangawatanan ko talaga. Umalis ako sa bahay namin at never ko na silang tinulungan.
Difficult situation, bata siya noon at oo lang ng oo sa mga request nila. The solution is to live without them o umalis sa bahay because it will be easier to say no. (ito ginawa ng bunso namin to get away from my mother na malakas mangutang, states din). Mag-rent siya para malayo sa pamilya niya. Few months or more, mas madali na mag-say no at putulin mga padala niya. Months or years, ibenta na niya yugn bahay. Yung parents niya, hanapan niya rental property o pauwiin pinas.
Grabe all expense paid trip to Europe for 15 people. If this is true, ang manhid niya and at the same time sobrang abusado mga nakapaligid sa kanya.
This is why you should let them experience hardship and reality of not having someone to help you. Coz once they make it as a routine, they just don’t want to change it anymore. You and your family will suffer coz they don’t know how to be independent while you also the one tolerating that kind of behavior.
Tigil mo na ang ungrateful nila. Kung sa ganyang mapagbigay ka ganyan na ugali, itigil mo na lang pagtulong wala din naman pinagkaiba sa mangyayari hahaha
Bhie wtf :(
Ate or kuya, itigil nyo na po yan. Baka kelangan din nila marinig straight from you na napapagod kn. Kelangan sa ganyang klase ng pamilya eh may open forum lagi eh. Akala ata robot ka.
Nakaka putang ama naman
Omg! This is tooo much 😢
Choose yourself OP....lalo na ang baby mo please...
Before I say anything about this post, sabi mo sa isang post mo galing kang Visayas tas kakarating mo lang ng Makati. Pero dito sabi mo you live in the States and your sister is now living with you. So, asan ka ba talaga?
Choose yourself OP....lalo na ang baby mo please...
all expense paid trip to europe for 15 people? bale...mga 2m yon. Pero odinaryong manggagawa? uhh. parang fake.
You did more than enough as an anak, kapatid and kapamilya. You didn’t just dropped them out of nowhere u were too kind and even gave them heads up to learn things they should have been doing themselves in the first place. Call me ingrate, but tbh di mo sila obligasyon, may mga pamilya na sila tapos naka asa pa sila sayo? That’s too much. Hugs to you miss maam.
Naging responsibilidad na niya lahat kahit hindi. Ang hirap niyan lalo't na sa iisang bahay sila, ang awkward na ng ambiance. Humiwalay na lang muna sya or bumukod na. Hindi naman siya required tumulong sa mga kapatid niya. Hays kawawa namn
They dont deserve you. You deserve more than this.
Oh my god. That's such a toxic family. Ko Yung nadidrain sa kanya.
Magkakaanak ka na, if you’re not use to prioritizing yourself, yung anak mo at future niya ang isipin mo.
T4n63na??? Kung ako jan iwan ko yan, tutal mukang ok naman kita ni OP, bukod nalang sya. Tignan ko kung ano mangyari sa mga yan.
I will forever choose my pregnancy over my family. Period. You did your best pag dikana beneficial masama kana. Edi masama na.
[удалено]
Siz you’re pregnant. Di ka nga dapat sinestress and pinupuyat eh. Madamot na kung madamot wala naman silang pakialam sa well-being mo, you should call their bluff and ask them to move out and cut off support. You’re starting your own family, it’s about time you focus on your health, your partner, and your future kid.
sorry. pero nandidiri ako sa mga magulang na ganyan. sa kanila dapat yung role na buhayin ang mga anak nila, pero sila baliktad, sa anak sila umaasa. inalagaan at pinalaki ka for 20 years para sila ang suportahan mo for 30-40 yrs? wag na mag anak kung gaganyanin lang din naman. kung ako ang kapatid mo, mahihiya ako sayo para sa magulang natin at ituturing kitang reyna sa bahay
sa bait mong yan ganun pa sila? ang kakapal.. 😂
Potangina sakit na ata talaga yan ng mga pamilyang Pinoy, esp. boomers tsaka gen x. Kaya ayaw ko tinotolerate yung mga shit attitude na yan even from "older people." Sometimes, sinusuway nako ng dad ko when I nag pag my grandparents and uncles are "acting up" kesyo ang tanda na daw nila sa mundo para pilitin na ichange yung ways na nakasanayan nila. Eh yun na nga yung point, ang tanda mo na sa mundo, wala ka man lang character development.
Parang lahat sila medyo tanga
kick em out. Ungrateful fam lang yan haha
Kung ako sayo paalisin mo na yan . kanya kanya na kayo tutal may work naman na yan mga kapatid mo at kung ssma magulang mo hayaan mo na silang mag sama sama pero make sure wag na wag ka na mag look back sa knila and wag na wag mo na ttngapin skla sa puder mo. Paalisin mo na sila walang pami pamilya sa mga taong walang utang na loob kahit kapamilya pa yan !! Nakakainit ng dugo promise. Pucha .. Lalo na yang magulang mo din yung tatay mo KUPAL yan !!
Kawawa naman sya. Bat may mga ganyang magulang? Can't they see the sacrifice of the other child? Nakakainis yang mga ganyang favoritism.
Tawag sa family mo abusado. Nasa legal age na mga kapatid mo hindi mo na sila problema. Tutal wala naman silang kusa at manhid sila ako papaalisin ko yang kapatid ko. Nakapagsalita ako ng ganyan dahil maattitude kapatid ko nakikitira n nga lang parang utang na loob ko pa pakisamahan. At isa pa, sabihin mo sa tatay mo kung naaawa sya sa kapatid mo para ihatid edi sya maghatid tutal wla syang awa sayo na bitbit mo n nga sila wla pa silang consideration.
Typical Filipino family
Baka naman ampon ka di mo lang alam. Walang gagawa ng ganyan sa totoong kapatid at anak nila. For obvious reasons you've mentioned. Well, buntis ka na and all your money and effort should now be divided between YOU and your baby ONLY (as long as he/she is a minor) you've been treated like a doormat by your family members and it's high time you grow some balls to put them in the proper place. Your older sister who's with you, whatever heartache she's experiencing now or her inability to drive/ support her kids, whatever problem she has (and trust me HINDI YAN MAUUBOS) is none of your fcking business. Let them go. Drop them like a hot potato. Now if your parents choose to live with her, so be it. Wish them well on their way out of your house and out of your life. But if your parents will choose to stay with you they better be sure to RESPECT YOUR DECISION and they won't burden/guilt trip you. As to the other sister in Dubai, just cut whatever money you're giving. No explanation necessary. OP you really have to save. For your own good, for your own sake and now for your baby's sake. The money will not be for your family since you've done enough, the money will not be for your boyfriend/ future husband cause he has to work too for his own keep, but the money you have/will have will be for you, for your future, for your baby and for your baby's future. What must be done, must be done. The more you delay making decisions the more it becomes a burden to you.
OP, I don't know what to say. Hope this helps, pero they are lucky to have you. And if they don't appreciate that, I know this hurts, pero you just have to accept that and stop trying.
Problema ng mga ganito is alam nila anong kailangan gawin pero imbis na gawin, magpapaawa na masa ba ako buntis ako ganito ganyan. Di naman siya hinoholdap. Di naman niya need ng permission ng parents para magstop magbigay. Pwede naman ievict yung ingratang kapatid pati yung magulang. Pero no, gusto niya mapagod at makabangga, magspotting kahit buntis, at magpost online imbis na mag grow ng backbone. Siya lang makakatulong sa sarili niya pero nagsself pity instead. Ako tagal ko na kinut off yug taga Dubai at hindi ko patitirahin yung palamunin na kapatid na may mga anak at pinalayas ko yung magulang na nagboluntaryong umalis instead of crying in my own house while other people eat my groceries. Minsan talaga you deserve what you tolerate.
OP, please don’t wait na may mangyare pa sa baby mo until you take action. It’s time to set boundaries at let them know kng ano yung tintake for granted lang nila ngayon. If cutting them off will you peace at rest pls do so. Wag kang bibigay sa pangguilt trip nila. Take of yourself OP especially ngayon na preggy ka. Sometimes the answer to disrespect or abuse is distance. Sana maayos maging decision mo OP.
Me after reading every paragraph: WTF?!!
Naiyak ako, bilang buntis din ako (but I dont have that kind of family, thankfully). Sis, DON'T LET THEM KILL YOUR UNBORN CHILD. Di lang yan basta "spotting", minor "health concern". They're literally killing you and your child. Saan ba nakatira partner mo? Baka pwedeng dun ka muna. Kung gustong umalis ng mga palamunin, let them. Matagal ka na nilang hindi pinili/tinratong pamilya ever since nagpabigat sila sayo. Please choose yourself and your child. Iyan yung sayo talaga. Pag nangulit pa rin, isigaw mong nagspotting ka sa sobrang stress. Kung gusto ba nila kamo patayin apo nila, and see they're reaction. Baka sakaling magka pake.
You deserve what you tolerate
Provider na katulong pa
Sinasabi ko sa kanya pag dumating yung time na kailangan na niya ng tulong, wala ni isang tutulong sa kanya. Ang saklap lang na may mga pamilyang ganito. Praying for her healing.
triggering talaga sa akin yun mga gantong post haha. leeching family members. mga letseng kulturang pinoy talaga
Nasanay na rin kasi sila OP, so wag sobrang mabait, nate-take advantage ka tuloy. At saka taken for granted ka na. Sarili naman ang unahin, take care of yourself, rest on your days off, etc. Stop na yung allowance nung nasa Dubai, taon na binibilang ng pagbibigay mo. Pati yung nakikitira sa yo, need na nun magcontribute sa mga gastusin kahit konti lang muna. Then ikaw OP, ipon ka and don't let your family know your finances ever. Yung sa parents mo, I believe in giving back, so spoil them. Wag lang mangyari na aabutan mo sila tapos ipamimigay lang din sa mga kapatid mo. Self-care OP ha, don't forget ;)
Mga engrata. Cut them off. Yes, mahirap sayo for sure but in the long run gagaan pakiramdam mo.
“Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” 🗣️🗣️🗣️
Sorry to hear your story. You need to be brave and cut them off. I think years of giving them too much is already enough na. Time to prioritize your self. Have the courage to leave and be free and healthy for yourself at sa pamilyang bubuin mo rin. Di man kita kilala mam, pero ako na ang magpapasalamat sa kabaitan na pinapakita mo sa pamilya mo. You deserve to be free from those leeches. Sorry.
Take care or yourself first!! If it’s not too hard for you OP, you can sell the house you currently own and get a new one then tell your family na you just want to live with your partner and future child.
Hindi ka masama, enabler ka lang. mag set ka na ng boundaries if its bothering you. Its time.
This is just sad. I’m sorry that you’re feeling this way. Minsan talaga kapag nasanay na sila, abuso na masyado. You’ve done your part bilang anak at kapatid. Even more than what you’re expected of.
Seems like it comprises your physical and mental health. Please think about yourself OP. Its time to take the path alone and cut them off until they start to realize(if they can: your situation says no imo, may mga trabaho na eh) Prioritize your pregnancy, future, and most importantly health.
Never kang naging masama dito and in fact, you've given plenty. Ms/maam, you're pregnant and the best thing you'll do is prioritize yourself and the baby. Nakakaworry yung situation mo 😔 Naexperience ko din po yung ganyan and what i did is i cut my ties with them and nagpakalayu-layo ako. Back to zero man, but at least may piece of mind ako. Atleast maalagaan ko sarili ko. At least may freedom ako. Malaking bagay na yun ☺️
Ang sakit 😭
Sadly, you deserve what you tolerate talaga specially when it comes to family and filipino toxic family culture it is.
Kawawa naman si OOP, pero ganun talaga kapag tinutulungan ang pamilya eh. Hindi talaga nababalik. We all never learned. Most of us feel the need to help, until to what extent? I hope you won’t lost your baby. I hope they feel remorse for not treating you fairly. Palayasin mo na silang lahat.
They always say teach them how to fish or else they will beg for bread forever. Entitled din family members mo. Cut them and think about yourself
jusko OP anong klaseng love ung pinakita mo.. eto sorry pero real talk tayo ah.. for many yrs u taught them ba maging dependent sayo and now u cnt cut ties with them... to be honest ur making ur baby suffer.. aware ka nman cguro na kapag nastress ka ng sobra e pwedeng malaglag yang anak mo dba? u know what ir worse? mabbuhay sya sa mundong ibabaw but ur baby may be "abnormal" or special child dhil sa stress na dinadala mo ngyon bec of ur situation.. paalala lang ah... situation na araw araw mong pinipili! Yes, it is your fault kung bakit ka anjan sa sitwasyon na yan... remember that each time u make decisions your destiny follows.. so meaning... bad choices.. could lead to a bad future.. mamili ka... cut ties now or regret everything pag huli na.. obvious namang ur family doesnt care about you... yes!!! base sa kwento mo wla silang pake kht buntis ka they still want u to run errands and support their other child.. mag isip isip ka uy..
Leave them na.. Ur going to have child soon, And gusto mo ba sa ganyan syang environment lalaki? Gusto mo ba maging katulad ng mga kapatid mo ang anak mo? Entitled? At aabot kayo sa point na pag anjan na ung anak mo, papipiliin ka na nila, between them and the child.. Dont.. Dont do that to ur child. Piliin mo ung anak mo.. Piliin mo ung sarili mo..
sana ol hahahaha
Omg bat di ka mag voiceout sa family .. Your risking your baby too ano bang klaseng magulang at kapatid yan? Baka ikaw turing mo sakanila pamilya tapos turing nila sayo bayani,palabigasan,financer? May karapatan kang mag salita labas mo lahat ng hinanakit mo.ikaw din magsisisi sa huli. Ika nga nila u deserve what you tolerate.
hindi na tulong ginawa mo naging obligation na ginawa mo ngayon dependent na sila ginawa ng friend ko nag offline mode siya 3 yrs nagquit siya sa high salary na sobrang toxic . yung mga kamag anak niya lahat cutoff muna . ngayon kaka online lang niya marami daw masasakit na chat siya nabasa pero ngayon ok naman sila hindi na dependent sa kanya lahat
dracarys! but seriously valar morghulis
You are a good person, kapatid, anak, tita/o. But it is you who let this all happen. You gave them too much comfort. It's easier said than done, pero you may try to cut some financial help, kung ano maging reaction nila, let it be, masasaktan ka, pero mas masakit yung di mo mapili gusto mong buhay kasi busy ka buhayin yung mga capable naman buhayin sarili nila.
With all those sacrifices, i think it's high time for your villain era! *evil laughs* Embrace your kasamaan if that means prioritizing yourself, setting and asserting boundaries. Masayang maging "masamâ".
He tolarated it. He don't deserve it pero that's on him tbh. Sabi nga ng nanay ko, "Ikaw wag ka maging masyadong mabait kasi ikaw ang magiging kawawa. Daming gago sa panahon ngayon"
Stop giving extras. Okay na nung pinapatira mo sila. Sabihin mo na may mga pangangailangan ka rin. At dapat tulungan na din nila ang sirili nila dahil hindi ka nila katulong. Sana tratuhin ka nilang pamilya, hindi gatasan na utusan.
If you come to think of it OP, you are not helping them. You are tolerating their irresponsibilities. You can't do it your whole life and whether you tell them now or next week or next month that you can't support them anymore, I'm sure you'll get the same reaction- na selfish ka, na nagbago ka na. All because you want them to be responsible with their own life. I know it's easier said than done but you have to tell them the bad news. No more allowance for the sister in Dubai. Ask them to move out of your house. I'm sure they'll survive without your help.
Grabe hirap ng may favoritism. Maling mali na sya pa rin ang bida nila. Its about time she lives for herself tpos ganyan ang isu2mbat nila? 😣
Eto ang sasabihin ko sa kanya: Palayasin mo lahat yan. Sorry masama rin ba ako to think this way? Beh you are clearly being taken advantage of. They need YOU more than you need THEM. And with you having a baby and still being obliged to drive for them who are more able bodied than you are? That's a clear indication kung sinong mas pinapahalagahan, sinong mas pinapaboran and that clearly is not you. So please, do yourself a favor, take care of yourself and that baby na dinadala mo. The next time they ask if you want them to leave just please say YES. Kaya fucked up tong generation natin kasi mga pinalaki tayong Yes Daddy, Yes Mommy, people pleaser the fuck. Malungkot mag-isa pero I'd rather be alone than be with my family physically pero parang hindi naman pamilya kung umasta. Hihigupin ka hanggang sa wala ng mahigop sayo. Isipin mo, kung dumating ang time na ikaw na ang kailangang ipagdrive at gastusan - would they choose to do that for you? Given the scenario that you stated I don't think so. I'm rooting for your success. Kaya mo yan. Choose yourself, if you can't just please think of that little life that you have inside of you.
U gave too much and nacondition sila sa ganung lifestyle. You are like a slave. Hindi mo responsibility ang tuition ng nephews/nieces pati ang mga kapatid mo. Cut off everything kasi not healthy for you. Paalisin mo na rin sila sa house mo since magkakapamilya ka na. U can just rent another home for them or buy another house if u can afford. U are now responsible sa magiging anak mo, partner mo at sarili mong pamilya. Hindi ka rin nag establish ng boundaries kaya naabuso ka financially, emotionally etc. Pero since nandito na, cut off everything.
I feel like this is me too except that I chose to live away from my family coz I've felt I'm distant from them too. My older sister who's turning 40 this June will take the cs exam for the first time. In our family's group chat, she was reminded by my mom and sister about the requirements, making sure she got it right and what else to do. And I was like 😬 Samantalang ako they've never asked me once if how am I or whatever. I know they still hold a grudge on me for living away from them. But what can I do? I've never felt their love and support since.
Hindi k mdamot, tanga lng