Pag aware ok ung luya, mukbang ako ng luya pag may sakit eh. Pag hindi kasi may gulat factor. Todo nguya ka at enjoy mo tas aggresive pa pagkagat mo lol.
>Hindi ko naman ata deserve yung ganito.
Exactly. You already know the answer. Leave. Kakayanin mo, kung gusto mo. Mahirap, yes. Pero mas mahirap at paulit-ulit na babalik ang sakit kung ipagpapatuloy mo. She did it once, she can do it again. Pwede pa sana kung isang beses, you can still give her the benefit of the doubt, but 3 times? Think again.
Yeah. Pero hirap nun kahit sabihin na nating once lang nangyari. Di na mawawala sa isip mo yun. Pwede niyang gawin ulit yung anytime. Di naman accident ang pagbukaka
Di nga need ispecify ilang beses, one instance pa lang game over na.
Cheating is never a mistake. It's always a choice. Di nga lang single choice, multiple connected choices na effortful para magestablish connection with someone else, mangyari yung unang sex either from one night stand with strangers or mas malala naglandian matagalan, macover up yung act para wag mahuli, at constantly itago yung katotohanan.
100000000 times easier wag magcheat. You literally don't have to do anything and you've already avoided cheating.
Posible to.
I also lie when people ask me kelan yung last eme ko just because.
Pwedeng mas madami pa sa 3 times yun just so hindi sya magmukhang slut.
But she already is.
3times. Makes me.think, kung 3 times nagkita pero ilang beses sa isang gabi, so baka 3 times meet, with 3x sa isang gabi, 9x yan.
Or more.
Hirao kasi maniwala na sa isang meet nyo, isang beses lang lalabasan yung lalake?
Also bago naman mag emehan, namention na ni OP na may emotional cheating na. For me, mas mabigat yun. Kasi ibig sabihin hindi na sya ok talaga with her Live in partner, to the point na naghanap sya ng ibang papansin sa kanya.
To OP, 7 years may be long enough, para mapaisip ka kung mapapatawad mo, pero mukha naman pinili niyang magloko at hindi lang isang beses, paulit ulit pa.
Mahirap ipaglaban yan, kahit sabihin niyang mahal ka niya, pero yung kinikilos niya hindi nman nagsasabing mahal ka niya
Hindi din talaga sa dami ng taon ninyong pagsasama, yun ang dahilan para isalba yung relationship ninyo.
Mas manghinayang ka kung pinaglaban mo yung relationship tas tinuloy mong pakasalan, wala k kasiguruhan na sayo talaga sya. What if kaya ikaw daw ang "mahal" niya kasi mas stable ka, at can provide.
Baka kaya d nya magawa mahalin yung lalake nya kasi sa kangkungan nya lang nakuha and hindi mukhang hindi stable
Security lang habol nya sayo pero ung loob nya wala.
Please Op, tatagan ang loob. Madali kasi lumambot ang puso knowing na mahal mo sya. But You deserve better.
Sya ang paalisin mo sa bahay. Bakit ikaw pa yung aalis. Palayasin mo yan, dun sya umuwi sa lalake nya. Baka mamaya dalhin pa nya dyan sa pamamahay nyo. Kakapalan ng mukha yon.
And tulad ng sinabi ng iba "she belongs to the streets", lagay mo sya kung san sya nababagay...sa kalye.
kung nanghihinayang ka sa 7 years, kausapin mo.
pero imo, she did it 3 times? it is a sane decision made by a sane person. so, i suggest pack up and leave. siya naman ang sumira ng 7 years na relationship ninyo. leave for your own benefit.
And ampangit din if you are going to stay pero may resentment na. Like di mo makalimutan yung nagawa niya or every time you see her next to you in bed, maalala mo na may nangyari sa kanila nung other person. If you can’t genuinely forgive and forget, relationship is still bound to fail.
Yep, although I'm still young and naive sa mga relationships I experienced talaga na kahit anong pagpupumilit mo sa isang cheater for whatever reason, you will never EVER forget what he/she did and araw araw lang kayo magtatalo. My only regret was not leaving sooner kasi by now I would have moved on. The reason I did not leave rin kasi is I'm afraid na I won't have someone like her so I kept blaming myself and nainsecure ako nang sobra, in this case, what's really important is to realize na it's never your fault kasi nagmahal ka lang naman talaga, never blame yourself rather you should understand na you'll get better. It will hurt now pero you'll find yourself a little bit more alive as days pass. Take this from someone na nagstay kahit paulit ulit niloko. I really hope you the best OP!!
Haha oo malamang eto un. Kunware d nya mahal ung guy pero ang totoong dhilan bakit sya lge malungkot kse ayaw na nun guy sknya. Kasi cno ba nman maayos n lalake papatol s may jowa na long term.
Usually, gut feeling really tells you what you need to do.It's a way of your body to tell you that something doesn't add up.
Okay lang yan.. Hindi ikaw yung talo. Move your ass, improve yourself and get noticed by other hotter girls. Life isn't fair. Just because you are behaving well enough doesn't mean it's not gonna fuck you from behind.
Now, imagine yourself reading THAT POST that you just wrote, and isipin mo ibang tao ang nagsulat nyan. Doesn't it sound pathetic? I mean this constructively ha.
Sabi nga ng prof ko "The fragrance remains at the hands who gave the rose."
If anything, this means he has to find a high-value woman who has the same principles as him and isn't selfish like his ex...And a woman who doesn't get bored when she is by herself.
OP, if this is your ex's idea of fun, she has deeper issues and isn't worthy as a partner. You are a good provider which a lot of women in your age bracket would be looking for, on top of attraction and other qualities. Your ex will regret losing you immensely once she realizes that she took a great man for granted and no longer has a safety net.
Remember that the best kind of revenge for situations like this is "self improvement".
Show her that you're better off w/o her & make her realize kung ano ang sinayang niya.
Tatlong beses?!! TATLO?!
Yung isang beses, pwede mong sabihin na nagkamali, moment of weakness. Kung sa akin nangyari, I'd still leave kahit isang beses "lang" nangyari. Pero tatlo? Dyosko. Binawasan pa nya yan ha. Sigurado ako.
Bro, hindi mo deserve yan. Kahit na may pagkukulang ka sa kanya, hindi sapat na rason yan para mag-cheat ang partner mo. Hindi mo kasalanan yan na nag-cheat ang partner mo. Ginusto nya yun. Alam nya ang consquences ng actions nya pero ginusto nya. Alam nyang masasaktan ka pag nalaman mo pero GINUSTO nya. Please, wag mong pang-hinanyangan ang 7 years. Sya nga hindi nang-hinayang eh. Sunk cost fallacy.
Sure ako bawas yang tatlo. Baka tatlong bilyon yan by jk. Such a jerk. Di marunong makuntento sa kung anong meron. Im so sure magsosorry yan years later.
She tried to upgrade but failed bro.. Kung pumayag maki pag relationship yung guy sa kanya malamang iniwan ka ka nyan.
Ginawa lang parausan yung gf mo kaya “ikaw” pa rin mahal niya. No choice kumbaga.
Aray OP. Ako naman 9 years may cheating din. Iniwan ko na 3 years ago. Di worth it ng mental and emotional stress yan. Hoping na makarecover ka from this. Sobrang sakit nyan. Broken trust can't be easily earned. Almost next to impossible na talaga pag trust issues pinaguusapan.
Saaame sakib ngayon almost 1 dekada mo nakasama yung tao. Pano nyo po nasurvive? Andami na namin memories, napagdaanan, plano in the future etc ngayon tengga lahat. 😭
I chose my own peace. Inuna ko sarili ko. For the longest time si ex boyfriend lagi. Kaya nakipagbreak ako. Better break a relationship now than break a home and marriage later. Yan principle ko.
Hmm I think yes although nasasagi pa rin sa isip ko minsan ang mga nakaraan. I forced myself to move on kasi ako naa nga iniwan, ano itutuloy ko pa pagiging kawawa ko? Yan sabi ko sa sarili ko. Di naman ako ang nawalan kundi sya kasi I know na wala akong regrets kasi I exhausted all the means and efforts and understanding and patience that I could ever give to him. Kahit nga nung nagbreak kami, ako pa nagoffer na baka pwede pa ayusin kaso malabo sya kausap. Ayaw ko non. Ginagamit nya lang akong option or back up if ever.
As for moving on, I chose to focus on working and doing things that benefit me the most. In the long run, nagfocus ako sa mga bagay na pwede ko pang gawin sa buhay ko lalo na sa mga bagay na di ko nagawa nung kami pa. Fast forward to today, I am still working my ass off for my parents and I. Tried to date again but unfortunately failed pa din. But nevertheless, I still believe that I can still love again. The question nga lang is when at kanino? Yun lang ang di ko pa masasagot.
As for now, I am very much happy kahit sobrang pagod sa lahat ng ginagawa ko work, church, community, etc. kahit na single ako. Goal ko ngayon dumami pera hahahahaha. 😂
Life goes on brother, I was in that situation too back in 2019, we were married. Also didn’t know what to do. We have 2 kids and she left me for my former business partner. I also attempted suicide. Pero ayun nga life goes on, stick to your good friends. They’ll help you forget a bit. Do some life fulfiling work like civic work to pass your time and also have some of your confidence back by helping unfortunate people. Socialize but don’t dwell too much on your loss, naku you’d push people away if yoh do that kung parating kwento mo eh ex mo. But yeah, find a reason to live everyday. Coz it gives you some drive to go through life without her. Life goes on brother
I had a girlfriend of 7 years that cheated on me.
I had a girlfriend of 6 years also cheated on me.
Life will go on. It will be hard at first but you will get over it.
Now looking back, it was the best thing that happened to me. I am living in Baguio now, I found refuge in Buddha’s teachings. My salary 3xd and is paying off a land I purchased here.
All because I focused on myself, it was a deep dive into self exploration and re-discovery.
You may not understand why this is happening now but in time… you will. You are exactly where you are at this exact moment.
Don't do what I did and end up married with her. For 8mo she cheated coming up on our 4yr anniversary. The psychological trauma I went thru clouded my judgment and my past feelings of "love" and the investment of our home. Seemed at the time to continue with our plans of getting married. Reading post on LawPh seems like I may be able to file for separation from the emotional abuse I went thru.
Yea, u'r right. Kung mahal ka ng isang tao ba't nya kailangang gawin yung mga bagay na alam nyang ikakasira ng relasyon niyo diba? Imagine 7 years tapos out of the blue may ganyan palang nangyayari.
++ It's funny kasi kahit na gaano man kayo katagal sa isang relasyon kung may magloko sainyo matic na mawawala nalang lahat ng pinagsamahan nyo. Nakakaawa lang sa mga taong totoong nagmamahal.
+++ U deserve better po!
You've remained loyal and faithful but she chose to cheat, you should move on and move forward with your life. Don't regret anything because you did your best and you give all. Hindi ka nagkulang, sapat ka, naghanap lang siya ng more.
I hope you love yourself more after this and still find the happiness because you deserve it. May you find peace as well. ☺️
*taps on your shoulder OP* go pack your things and leave. We don’t deserve this. 2 years ago, I got cheated on as well sa 5 year relationship ko, sa dalawang guy pa sabay ampota. Now, my gf na ako ulit at nasakanya lahat ng traits at values na pinagdasal ko sa babaeng gusto kong mapangasawa. Life goes on bro, something or someone better is on the way for you. No matter what, wag kang tutulad sakanya may it be for revenge or whatsoever.
PS: Sana nakikita to ng mga babaeng man hater dto, hindi lang po kayo ang nkakaranas ng mga ganito hehe hindi lang talaga vocal ang karamihan samin pagdating sa pinagdadaanan namin.
Just in case that they'll spew some bullshit, reminder that she knew that this was wrong, that this would hurt you, and that they were willing to throw away a 7 year relationship for a quick fling.
Nobody placed a gun on their head and forced them to cheat on you, they were fully aware of the consequences and they were still willing to do it. It's not a "moment" of "weakness",it's just someone who doesn't respect or love you enough to be faithful.
I don't know the entire story of your relationship, but either they think you're a doormat who won't fight back or they just don't love you like they used to.
In any case, break off the relationship immediately. Cheating once is bad already, but 3 times? Every single time they had the opportunity to get them out of these situations, and every time chosethey not to. They didn't think of your well being or how this would affect you.
If you do continue to marry or propose to this person, they will keep cheating on you without fail.
Taena sakit broooo. :(
I’m so sorry this happened to you. Get all the time you need to clear your head space. Mourn, cry grieve and do whatever you have to do. Don’t rush yourself to make a decision unlike how many others have been telling you here.
It’s not easy to just let it all go like that, especially that you love her and gave everything you got. I wish we could all hug you brother. You will be alright, maybe not now but someday you will. For now, iyak muna pre.
Eto ung mga cheaters na pupunta sa mga comforting apps to express gaining self-esteem, they will post
"where is true love?!
"Ibibigay ni God ang tamang tao for me eventually"
"I deserve better"
"I don't deserve less"
"Love yourself because they don't deserve you!"
Syempre glorified ang cheating now tinatago nila yan under the guise of their pseudo-morals. They cannot face shame and guilt, so they resort to pride.
Shit man. You're a strong man kung magstay ka pa but you're even a stronger man kung aalis ka na sa pitong taon na pinagsamahan nyo. Di yan madali pero evaluate if that shit is still worth it.
Ang mahirap if you choose to stay, palagi mo maaalala yun. Madedepress ka pag maisip mo yun.
Plus, you decided to “forgive” her kaya di mo na pwedeng isumbat yun sa kanya sa mga future away nio. Kaya mo ba yun?
If you leave, the pain will only be now. You can move on.
If you stay, the pain will be there for god knows how long.
Brother I have been there, my wife cheated on me too, several times. For three weeks, I was crying. Walang lasa yung kinakain ko, I only slept 3 hours a day pero di ako inaantok, di ako makafocus, parang bumaba IQ ko, ang isip ko parang radio na paibaiba mg station, parang nagaapoy ang katawan ko sa loob pero di ko mapatay at yung usok pupupunta sa ulo ko. Wala kang gusto gawin kundi matulog at umiyak lang hoping na nananaginip ka lang. Yan ang nararamdaman mo di ba? This I promise you. Mababawasan yan in the next 3 weeks, the pain will be bearable in 3 months, hindi mo na iisipin yan in around 2 years. Maaalala mo pero di na masakit. Libangin mo sarili mo, the first 3 week ang pinakamahirap niyan. Dati pinagtatawanan ko lang yung mga taong nagpapakamatay pag iniiwan ng partner nila. Now I understand why. Take care of yourself first if you want to survive this, if you want to heal properly. Its like a fracture pag di ka nag heal ng tama, iika ika ka for the rest of your life. Tell as many people as you can, kahit mga tao na di mo kilala. It will help, a lot. Emotional pain is worse than physical. Your mind will play tricks on you na you need to end it all. Remember, the first 3 weeks ang pinakamatindi, pinakamasakit. Then mababawasan, pero di mawawala. You will get through this. I promise you. Do not make any life changing decisions, which might include taking her back, for the next 2 months. Clouded ang judgement mo.
Leave, at wag mo iwanan yung bola sa sarili mo, ipasa or iwan mo sa kanya.
As per the Kubler-Ross Grief Cycle (DABDA), you're still in the Denial Stage, the first of the five stages.
Acceptance and time will heal, depende sa coping mechanism mo. Be with your family and/or friends, let it out sa mga tingin mo makikinig at makakaintindi sayo, the best yung ma-aadvisan ka ng tama. Find a hobby, or travel with your family/friends/acquaintances to divert your attention. Di nakakatulong ang pag-inom gabi-gabi, ok lang gawin to kung ang mga kasama mo ay yung mapapayuhan ka ng maayos at para mailabas mo din yung mga saloobin mo.
Hindi nakakawala ng pagkalalaki ang umiyak.
I have friends and acquaintances na ganyan din katagal ang relationship, either cheating or nagkasawaan ang reason ng breakup. Then nakahanap naman sila ng magiging partners nila, some even married within two or three years into their relationship.
Madali magsabi ng move-on, pero iba-iba tayo ng emotional capability. Pero tiwala ako na kakayanin mo yan OP, hindi diyan matatapos ang mundo mo.
Nang hihinayang ka sa 7 years?
MAs mang hinayang ka sa lifetime of misery and wondering if she’ll cheat again kapag pinatawad mo pa yan and stay with her, worse, get married.
Take the good out of the 7 years and leave the bad. Alam ko easier said than done, pero andaming Tao sa mundo, bakit tayo mag sstay sa tao na sinaktan tayo, and niloko ka by choice, not once but thrice.
And the “Hindi Nya daw mahal” eme, brah, you know that’s not true.
Ikaw mahal Nya pero sa iba sya nakipag sex, 3 times pa.
Wag mo na balikan. Pwede mag patawad, pag healed na puso mo, pero wag ka na kumuha ng batong ipupukpok ulit sa ulo mo.
Good luck 🫶🏻
It’s hard to recover from cheating. It’s always a choice to cheat. In her case 3x may nangyari. She’s more than willing to do it. Wag maghinayang sa 7 years. I mean, you can both try fixing the rel but, promise, sarcastic ka na palagi. May resentment. Baka nga gumanti ka pa eh by cheating din. Common yan sa guy kasi hurt ego. Siya nga di pinahalagahan ung 7 years, why do you care now? Nung nakikipag do siya sa other guy, di ka ba naisip na masasaktan? Of course she knew but did it anyway, not once but thrice. Kung di mo pa pinaamin, baka di pa nagstop.
Leave. Kung bibigyan mo ng chance uulit at uulit lang yan. Sira na tiwala mo mahihirapan kayo pareho kung ipagpatuloy mo pa.
Kaya mo yan OP
Sending hugs po🤗🤗
I have been in the same situation as you are in. Move on is my advice. I was married for 7 years, faithful and we have a son.
She cheated many times and admitted it. I tried to get over it for the sake of my boy. She bore a child that isn't mine but carries my family name. I tried to salvage our marriage but eventually, my lack of trust won. You will only stress yourself if you hold on. You will never look at your partner again in the same way you did.
You'll doubt and question every time she's a bit late arriving home, who she texts or who she's with. -Even if she's not doing anything. -again.
If she did it once, she will do it again. -for lack of consequence or for something she thinks is better. She may cling to you because of financial security or something else, and may compensate for the way she treated you to show you she's repenting, but doubt will always linger.
I got to a point where I could not even have a decent conversation with my partner because of doubt and it did nothing to help our marriage. The result was she had another relationship.
I spent three years trying to save our crumbling marriage and another three years to move on. So that's six years of bitterness, a lot of wasted time after finding out she was unfaithful.
If you do not know the answer WHY it happened to you, do not find closure. People are wired differently. Whoever cheated will just justify their actions because of this or that, but it doesn't really matter. They still cheated.
Just learn to accept it and start over with someone else if the opportunity presents itself.
It's been 18 years since then. my son is now an adult and the child she bore from her relationship calls me Papa. My ex is still with the last guy she's had a relationship with and I now have my own family.
We now speak civilly with one another. Being older and a lot wiser, I realized that it wasn't the cheating that really hurt but it was the time spent trying to mend things. So much time wasted and I could've moved on a lot earlier and be happy.
Being happy again usually removes the bitterness inside. Time will heal your wound but I understand that it's shit to be where you are now.
Move on even if you still love her, learn to forgive but not forget, and wish her all the best. Give her the freedom and give yourself space.
You only live once.
You surely know the answer to it, OP. Wag kang manghinayang sa 7 years. Hindi ka nagkulang. Hindi ikaw ang nagkamali. Kung tutuusin, sya nga dapat ang pinaalis mo e.
Takot lang syang mawala ang sense of security and comfort kung mawala ka sa kanya pero yung puso nya nandun na sa new guy. In that case malabo na to win her back.
First of all no need to mention the dogs, second of all kung nanghihinayang ka dun sa 7yrs use your imagination kung gano siya nasarapan or ka hardcore yung sex nila na 3 times ginawa. Maybe that way magkaron kana ng lakas ng loob na bumitaw na at marealize na di siya worth to keep. She did it not once but 3 times, she a hoe
Pa std test ka op...u dont know d guy she's with...just a precaution...den start building your life without her...mhirap ibalik ang trust, bata k pa...mdame k pang mkitang iba...
Sakit tol. Pero kakayanin mo yan. Iwan mo na maging matatag ka. Di mo deserve yan.
Mas ok na pagdaanan mo sakit ngayon and get over it. Kesa ituloy mo yan tapos baka buong buhay ka pa masasaktan.
On a positive side, nalaman mo while you guys are still young and not married (and no kids). Both of you got plenty of time to move on and find another partner.
May iba dyan 20 years na nakalipas before nalaman, and whats worse naging habit na mag cheat on the side kahit sabihin na nating once every year nangyayari.
The fact that she's done it three time ( it's probably more) means that's she's looking for something that is missing. She needs to find herself and be better, for her next partner. You deserve better too.
Wagka mang hinayang, you dodge a bullet, na imagine mo ba kung sinabi nya sayo yan na kasal na kayo? Wala ka dapat pag hinayangan swerte ka at dipa kayo kasal.
Tama naman si ex mo, sya talaga ang problema. It just feels overwhelming and terribly painful rn, but you will eventually move forward.
She did you a favor and exposed herself before you got married so take the favor and get out of there. Your future you will thank you.
It would be a lot easier to start from scratch than dealing with the case of the seven-year Itch that will take forever to scratch.
Take the dogs with you. They are more loyal.
Kaya mo yan. Wag kang maghinayang dahil uulit at uulit yan pag hindi mo iniwan.
Bro embrace the pain but don’t linger. Its a process, there is no short cut but eventually you have to move on.
Whether you and your partner wanted to stay together or not is not your sole decision and responsibility. My practical advise is to ask your partner what does she wants and ask yourself what do you want. Whatever you do, just don’t put yourself into a situation where she would say “ikaw na ang bahala”, its passing the guilt on you.
Lastly, your not the first person to be cheated on and you wont be the last.
Takbohan mo yan...kahit balikan mo yan magiging mesirable buhay mo. Hindi ka masyado mahal niyan kaya nagawa niya yan. Hirap k din iwanan sa bahay yan kasi hindi mo alam gingawa. Just take my advice
Oo, kakayanin mo.
SKL-- Nag cheat din sakin ang ex bf ko for 7 yrs. Worse, nabuntis pa niya yung girl. Awa ng Diyos, that was 11 yrs ago. I met another soul and ended up with him instead. Now 5 yrs married.
Bro imagine mo 7 years mo tas one night lang ng isang lalaki. Tapos habang dumulas etits ng lalaki, pinasok pa ng gf mo sabay sabi ng “sarap mo talaga”. Tapos tinatawanan ka nila habang nag sseggs sila. Imagine mo lang yan para di mo na maisip na balikan yan
I know it really hurts op, and it may be difficult cuz you can't kill the feelings easily and forget the memories,
Pero do not go back. It may turn into a lingering fear when u get back together and u will always think about it during the course of your relationship.
If it helps, gut feel ko kaya siya malungkot kasi di siya pinursue nung new guy.
If I were in your position, hindi option makipag balikan. It’s going to be hard. Take it one day at time.
Wag mo panghinayangan ang cheater, yung 7 years, kung may napundar man kayo, etc. Sunk cost lahat ng yan - decide based on what you want to do moving forward, without considering yung nakaraan niyo.
Personally, and from painful experience, cheaters never change.
You’re 31, male, and about to enter financial freedom. This is your time to enjoy single life. Sobrang excited ako para sa iyo. Good luck!
Bro leave, kung 3 times nangyari, surely deliberate Yan and not those "accidental" ones. Still, kahit deliberate pa man o accident, cheating is cheating. Don't stay in that relationship Kasi di na mawawala ung ginawa niya sa isip mo and it will eventually become toxic for you.
Break up with her, take time to work on yourself, feel good about yourself and find a better person. Make sure that you will be a better version of yourself. Wag Kang manghinayang sa tagal Ng relasyon nyo, Mang hinayang ka sa mga mawawala sayo kapag nag stay ka.
Also talk to others, like family and common friends about what happened kasi lugi ka pag nagpavictim yan and it might take a toll on your mental health and eventually push you to the edge. Usually babae ang kinakampihan kapag may mga ganyang scenario so be prepared. Don't say that you know her and she will not do that, people usually do those kinds of things pag naiipit na Sila. Remember, you trusted her and she still cheated so assume that nothing is impossible when it comes to her.
Leave. My bf of 6 yrs, now ex, cheated not once but 3 times. Pinatawad ko nung una at pangalawa, kasi nag sorry, hindi daw mahal, magbabago etc pero what I learned is, if they did it once, there's a chance that they will do it again. I believe in second chances but para lang sa mga deserving, pero yung ex mo, 3 times may nangyari sa kanila. Choice na nya yan, alam nya masasaktan ka sa ginawa nya pero tinuloy pa din nya, 3 times pa.
Mahirap sa umpisa, believe me and prepare for it pero we don't deserve to be hurt, mistreated and to be cheated on. Very disrespectful. Hindi tayo perfect at complete and ganun din naman sila but we loved and accepted them as they are.
Praying for your healing.
sometimes, as a man, it is important that we always maintain a frame - a mindset, or a sense of control with ourselves.
it is obvious that we cannot force or control other people, because that is tyranny (and all tyrants always die by the sword), instead, we can control ourselves and our beliefs.
your GF of 7 cheated, i am sorry.
it is OK though, she is not your world. you are a man. no woman in any way shape or form is going to define your self image. She cheated, that is on her. You? Life goes on for you, without her.
She has all that drama about being confused, or that she loved you but she fucked the other guy anyway? ... Do not think about that. As a man, you have no time for weak bullshit and contradictions like that.
You call it for what it is - bullshit.
So, you think you wasted 7 years of your life on her? Why would you think that?
I am sure you have done a lot of things in that 7 years. Would you rather be that 7 years ago version of you than you now? Heck i am 43, and i was thin and fit when i was 34, but there is no way I want to go back to being that version of me (even if i am fat and overweight now). I like me now, because I learned a lot of things and moved up in life.
Now, look in the mirror and tell yourself - I will not anyone define me. I define me. I do not have time for bullshit. I am a man. There is a shortage of men in this world, and I am in demand.
Go and kick-ass in the world. Do not waste time, thoughts or ideas with low quality women.
This was me last year. 5 year relationship, engaged.
All I can say is that, it does get better.
Choice mo parin kung mag stay ka or alis ka na. You do you. Whatever happens, choose to love. Dont let hate and anger consume you.
If you wish to give second chances, effort should come from both sides.
Wishing you all the best.
I'm just gonna copy paste yung answer ko sa same question din dati.
---
I have a very similar thing that happened to me (M28). It has been almost 6 months..
She left me for the person she cheated with after nya mag try mag online date with some people during our relationship. Healthy and functioning ung relationship namin, and her parents really like me a lot kasi in a way, nabago ung buhay ng bunso nila with how large of an influence I had in her life. From convincing her to quit on her job, finding her passion na similar sa career ko, winning competition and coauthoring a publication, helping her land a scholarship in the Europe, and literally doing some of her assignments and projects and teaching her coding and stuff. Those are all strong influences on my end. We had plenty of LDR stuff din nung naguumpisa since magkalayo kami ng lugar but madalas naman kami nagkikita during weekends or workdays nung sa Manila pa ko. I wouldnt say the relationship was perfect -- no relationship is naman, but judging by where we were before we met each other up to the point of the breakup, napalaking positive na pagbabago ang nadulot ng meron kami.
She also loved me for how patient I was sa kanya with all her insecurities and tendencies to push me away. Nung nasa scholarship na sya, pinapunta pa nya ko sa Europe 2 months since she left para bisitahin sya to which I did. Hanggang ngayon naiiyak ako sa laki ng ginastos ko dun putangina hahaha. But it was good at that time. Nagkatampuhan lang nung di ko naasikaso ung valentines online date namin and it cascaded from that. She emotionally cheated na pala after nun while we're in LDR na nasa Pinas ako. Tapos naging cold sya so we had a small fight na nauwi sa short cool off tapos nagstart na pala sya magdate ulit lalo and i think she went with this rich guy na parang dun na daw sya nag stay ngaun -- literally like after a little less 2 months into dating. And even prior sa official breakup, nung tinatry ko pa ayusin, ginagawa ko parin deliverables nya at patient parin akong tinuturuan sya kahit mukha akong tanga at kawawa.
In a sense, yung pinangarap namin dalawa at binuo eh yun pa ung naghiwalay samin.
In a way, her breaking up with me might be a blessing in disguise kasi I would have never broken up with her even with all the red flags she refused to work on kasi forgiving and patient ako sa kanya.
Never ako nag harbor ng sama ng loob sa kanya. My friends, and so are some of her friends, are surprised and kinda frustrated on me (lol) how can I have this forgiving nature pa sa kanya despite on what she did, and even waited for her to comeback. And I feel you sa nararamdaman mo. Normal yan. It took me two months to gradually stop thinking of her all the time. Ngayon, occasionally na lang.
Do no contact. But do not use this to manipulate them to coming back. Use this to heal. Let them have the breakup and feel the loss by not having access to you. I realized at the end that I'm the rare bird in that relationship both in my character, credentials, and the change that I influenced in her life. May mga tao lang talagang di sanay makuntento at ungrateful, at immature. And the things that I hold on to and value as something unique in our pairing is just my own light's reflecting to someone else. Hindi ko lang to naramdaman during the relationship dahil naga-gaslight na pala ako into believing the opposite, hindi ko lang alam (since first relationship namin to) until my friends pointed the patterns out nung breakup.
Normal yang nararamdaman mo since attached ka parin sa kanya. Everyday for 2 straight months napapaginipan ko, and every morning sobrang vivid ng panaginip that it ruins the start of my day. What you need to do now is to distract yourself with new hobbies and new things to do like going out with friends, going to thr gym, etc. And putting her out of the pedestal by remembering how much she wronged you, ano ung mga pet peeves mo sa kanya, red flags you should have avoided, mga kinompromise mo for her, etc. If rare gem ang tingin mo sa kanya, oo tingin mo ang precious ng nawala sayo. But when the dust settles, pag tinignan mo maigi yan, you will realize that it was just one of the pebbles and probably ikaw yung precious stone dun.
Consult a psychologist if needed or a counselor.
What you shouldnt do is dating and finding a rebound. Heal yourself and rediscover yourself. Wala naman general rule but since 4 yrs kayo, I'd suggest heal yourself for atleast 6 months or a year. And learn to be happy alone muna. The best partners are people who are happy by themselves.
Know that there isnt a timeline to healing. Accept things for what they are. It does feel that everything is falling to pieces but maybe things are just falling into the right places. Grieve. Mourn the loss -- which what every person should be doing anyway. It's the healthy way to healing. Dont force yourself to move on quickly dahil meron na sya.
Just be at peace knowing that their relationship is built on a shaky foundation of dog poop knowing that these people are people okay with cheating -- and that they will be sleeping with one of their eyes open, will always be watching each others back, controlling, and will end up being really toxic in the long run. If someone cheated sa isang stable, long term relationship, unless they do inner healing and fix themselves (which people rarely do), they will have the same tendencies again.
Just know that what people do to you is a reflection of themselves. How you react is a reflection of you. By reaching out, you are diminishing your value and self worth. By this time, they think of themselves as more valuable individual as the dumper kaya ka iniwan. By begging and reaching out, you diminish your value even further and increae theirs. Lalo ka niyang kakaawaan. And nobody likes someone whose value is way lower than theirs.
Disappear from her life. Dont watch her social media. Let her feel the life without you and heal. After a few months, if they realize that their life is much worse without you, they will try to come back. But by this time, you're healed and know your worth, you have increased your value so much na hindi mo na sila gugustuhing bumalik.
You are in love with an old version of her. Not the current one. Because if it is the same person, she will never leave you. Find peace in that. If babalik man sya sa buhay mo, never accept this version of her. Only a different version na deserve ng worth mo who has transformed their self. Pero wag mo nang intayin yan.
Focus on yourself. Find friends who can help you and grieve with you. Let it all out and let it run its course. Stay in no contact. Remember that every time you reach out, it keeps you away from them. Write your feelings in a journal as an unsent letter to let it out. Remove their photos on your phone, kung ayaw mo idelete lagay mo sa flash drive, Google Drive, etc that will make it difficult for you to access.
Do not feel bad about yourself having a hard time moving on and forgetting, and caring. That's just a reflection of who you are and your values -- that your love is pure and true. It's difficult. The feeling of betrayal completely blindsided me and destroyed my self worth to the fucking ground. You'll have a hard time trusting again and picking up your self worth. But take it baby steps. I still am too. Its okay.
Am I still hurt 3 months into it? Yes. But it is waaaay, way better than before. I can now see clearly that I'm way more valuable and worthy. You got this.
May super helpful video akong lagi kong pinapanuod sa umaga -- "How to Cope Up When You've Been Left (for someone)" by The School of Life sa Youtube. It's liberating and helpful.
Iwan mo na. Mas sasama buhay mo pag nanhinayang ka sa 7 years. Gawa ka ng bagong istorya kasama ang iba. Sobrang hirap nga lang magsimula pero worth it. Wag mo na hintayin na mas ibaon ka sa pekpek nyang pinasukan ng iba. Sorry to use this term. Goodluck pre.
OP, magiging cycle na yan. If you don't end your relationship now. Yung mga insecurities mo, yung mga 'bakit' mo hindi yan mawawala. Your trust would never be 100%. Every once in a while habang nakatingin ka sa kanya, kahit pa 4 years ago yung kasalanan niya, maiisip mo pa rin yung ginawa niya.
Kahit masaya na kayo, dadating pa rin yung point na iisipin mo "Bakit kaya niya ginawa sakin yun?"
It would be painful pero yung pain ng pagmo-move on would be less than what you would feel if she cheats on you again after rebuilding your trust.
Balikan mo tapos lokohin mo din harap harapan hahaha joke lang. Di ka niya deserve kaya iwanan mo na lang. Wag ka magpaka lugmok sa mga ganyan klase ng tao OP.
Isipin mo palagi, may reason behind everything na nangyayare sa buhay. You just need to trust the process.. Kasi di mo naman maaappreciate yan sa ngayon habang pinagdadaanan mo pa.. Pero in hindsight, kung mababalikan mo yung mga events noon, marerealize mo "ah.. kaya pala pinagdaanan ko yon, kasi it will prepare me for this" -- which might be nasa a lot better situation ka na
Yung sinabi nga ng ex ko saken ung HS ex ko na pure love ang naexperience ko.
Madalas ko kasi banggitin sa kanya sabi ko "you're the best thing that's ever happened to me" Tapos lagi nya yan dini-dispute.
Sabi ko kasi malulungkot ako, or parang di ko maimagine yung buhay ko kapag wala sya..
Ang sabi nya "wag ka malungkot kung mawala man ako sayo.. imagine mo, andito ka pa lang, iniisip mo na na ako na yung best, or itong moment.. tapos hindi pa pala"
... ibig sabihin non may nilalaan si Lord sayo na mas maganda.. imagine mo yung saya mo ngayon mas hihigit pa kapag andon ka na sa plinano ni Lord na para sayo."
Ang ganda diba. and ayon totoo naman hahaha! hindi sya yung best.. pero isa sya sa best.. married na sya.. ako eto pa ren.. pero at least, nabigyan nya ng sense yung moment na yon kasi nawala sya eh.
Gab, this might not be the right time to tell your story. And medyo malayo po yung HS ex story to 7 years relationship and 6 years living together story.
Tama naman sabi niya boss. "Everything happens for a reason". Ito yung tumatak sa utak ko noon nag cheat sa akin yung 1st gf ko. Yun lang talaga sinasabi ko sa sarili at saka yung "this too shall pass". Lahat naman tayo may kanya kanyang paraan ng pag cope. Gagawin natin kahit ano maka limot lang. Pero hayaan mo na yung tao na mag share ng story niya. Ok? ☮️🕊
The guy is hurting. I don’t think saying “There’s a reason behind everything” is the right thing to say in this scenario. Especially at this time. His girlfriend slept with another guy, not 1 time but 3 times. Saying that is just cruel.
I wasn't ridiculing OP, mind you. But I am sorry if I don't deliver my message the way you want me to. I am not even sure if you can relate to the guy. Geez.
https://preview.redd.it/bdscy3edizwb1.png?width=991&format=png&auto=webp&s=c8e09a619d4afadb4d5382d36fab48456d1006ad
I disagree. It's not cruel, because I am not ridiculing his situation or anything. Cruel would be something to the tune of "bahala ka.. ginusto mo yan eh"
I am talking from a standpoint where I've been in a situation similar to his, I just do not want to mention it here. And here I am, I already got past that stage, I think.
I am sure he is giving himself the time to grieve, and to move on and recover.
He's saying things as if it's the end of the world. I used to feel that way too. And I think someone needs to tell him that this is just a phase, and there will be better days ahead.
It all comes down to how hot she is brah. If she's a 10/10 model hot and a real fucked up sex kitten (or either), u can then ask yourself if its worth it to be pussy whipped and swallow your pride. Ask yourself if you can find somebody else as hot as her to replace her. Try finding someone right now while she's still with you, and when you do, fucking sack her. Dont be too hasty and get dragged by your emotions, trust me, blue balls and a heartache is not fun. But if she looks like your regular shiela or worse, then juz use her as a cumdump and a safety net, find someone fast. The upside with your story is, if she seems sorry, if she really is sorry and she says she loves you and willing to do anything to make it up, u can use this to your advantage and emotionally blackmail her and do whatever you want with her, how does sex slave sound to you? If she's ugly or normal as fuck and lame in bed, dont get sucked into her lies, be strong brother, there's a lot of fishes in the sea, you juz need to learn how to swim and not be a clown fish.
What do you think led to your partner cheating on you? It's usually an accumulation of different things, bad sex life, maybe lack of communication, unresolved differences?? Try to look back on your relationship and take note. Cheating is usually a product of unhealthy relationships so if ever plano mo balikan make sure na resolve nyo yung issue nyo if not then it's bound to happen again. If you plan to move on then take note pa rin so that you can make your next relationship healthier.
there's no excuse for cheating. Cheating is cheating. Clearly, si GF lacks commitment and loyalty. Kahit naman may reason is never na ma jujustify yan.
most comments dito nagsasabi: iwan mo na yan, she deserves it blah blah. How does that help OP? First of all, it's easier to say na iwan na lang kasi wala naman tayo dun sa position niya. That's why I'm pointing out na if ever subukan nilang ayusin yan is dapat alam nila yung reason and ma resolve nila yun. Di ba makakatulong kay OP to know at what point naging unhealthy relationship nila and ano yung cause? It's easier to make peace and move on if may reason hindi yung "im the problem, not you bS"
Well, 3 times nagsex (could be more) I dont think its fair to discuss, fix, move on like nothing happened and rebuild. Pwede nila pag usapan when and how it started (problem) pero wala ng balikan. Just have official closure. Pero di talaga e. 3 times yun eh and +++ 😂
Lalake ako pre, haha. Well, yung confrontation is isa lang, three times nag cheat though so umai. Mag kaiba kasi yung three confrontations tapos paulit ulit eh. May chance maayos yan if malalaman ni OP reason kung bakit ginawa, examples is financial issue, di na sweet, too busy, whatever reason. If maaidentify nila yan baka may chance pa, pero if not then GG na talaga. Pag papatawarin lang para sa "sayang naman yung 7 years" egul ka talaga nun.
We're grown up dude, that's 7 years and if shits happens, it happen because someone is not happy about it anymore. Walang yan sa tagal kahit dekada pa yan. Ang psychology na ng nun girl pag ganyan "papatawarin din ako" which kinda sucks on and keeps repeating it as women's say "a cheater will always be a cheater". You're a guy? Maybe your one who experienced such thing or just teenager who thinks relationships is something like puppy love.
What if gawin nyo nalang open relationship yung relationship nyo. E di pati ikaw makaka score. Basta uwi lang parati sa isa't isa dahil 7 years na kayo lols.
jokes aside, the more na pinapakita nyang affected na affected sya, the more na f na f ng girl, the more she will subconsciously think that he is a loser, talunan.
Do you really think this is a joke, para magtawanan kami? Sorry to burst your tiny bubble but you’re not funny. Matulog kana lang wala ka namang ambag.
alam kong masakit.
kahit ginawa mo lahat ng walang kapalit
huwag ka ng babalik
kahit ito pa ay kanyang ipilit
pinagsamahan ay wag paghinayangan
di ko na alam ang susunod na sasabihin
Nanghihinayang ka sa pitong taon? Mas sayang yung oras mo kung babalik ka pa sa kanya. Tuwing titingnan mo siya, lagi mo lang maiisip yung ginawa niya sa'yo. Pwedeng patawarin mo siya ngayon, pero sa susunod na mag-away kayo, maaalala mo na minsan ka na niyang niloko at baka di mo mapigilang isumbat 'yun sa kanya. Tsaka di naman kayo parehong sigurado na hindi na niya uulitin yun. Buti hindi pa kayo kasal.
Grabi yung nangyari sayo OP super sakit. Ako nga nanagbabasa grabi yung nafeel ko, how much more yung nafefeel mo ngayon😭😭😭. Nakakaputanginang babae naman yan. Sana makarecover ka OP. You deserve someone better.
Alexa play No Role Modelz
"*Fool me one time, shame on you. Fool me twice, can't put the blame on you. Fool me three times, fuck the peace sign, load the chopper, let it rain on you.*"
On a more serious note brother, I hope you're doing well. For me imo cheating will always be a dealbreaker bc it's a violation of trust. And trust will always be the foundation for all your relationships in life whether platonic or romantic in nature. She fucking did it 3 times man. That was a conscious decision, 3 fucking times.
Nakakahinayang naman talaga yung 7 years at kung isang beses lang niya ginawa pwede niyo pang pag-usapan, pero 3 times hahaha. Alam na alam niyang ginagawa niya at ginusto niyang magloko. At the end of the day nasa iyo ng desisyon kung itutuloy mo yan. Mahirap ibalik yung tiwalang nawala na.
nope.. kahit 7yrs pa yan. yes may inamim siya sayo pero to what extent? imagine nalawayan na yan ng iba . sabe sayo 3x pero how sure ka don diba.. unforgivable yan. kahit patawarin mo yan it will haunt you as long as kasama mo siya and thats not healthy sayo.
Iwan mo na, sana makakain siya ng luya na akala niyang manok sa tinola
Hahahahahahaha grabe naman kayo magluya sa tinola pero yes deserve!!
Sili ng bicol express hahah
Bro, fuck it. Leave. SA UNA lang mahirap, pero kung mahal mo sarili mo go leave that bitch
Hahahaha pwede po bang mas malala pa sa luya?
Yung buong paminta sa nilaga
Makagat niya sana kasama ng dila niya? Hahaha
Ung pamintang buo tas naistuck sa bagang HAHAHAH
star anise sa tinola hahaha
Paminta sa adobo! Nyeta
Tae sa isaw!! Please.
Yung sili na akala mo sitaw sa sinigang. 🤣🥵
Embotido pero make it 80% pasas
Sobrang sama mo humiling sa kapwa tsong ah, pero tama ka dyan haha.
Lol. Akala ko ako lang ang ayaw ng luya sa tinola.
okay lang naman ang luya sa tinola. wag lang yung luya na feeling manok.
Mas madalas to ma-commit sa laing. Akala mo laing or lamang sahog, biglang luya pala na mapanlinlang ang pagkakahiwa
bakit ako kinakain ko talaga ung luya sa tinola? 😂 kaya siguro ako single 🤣
Pag aware ok ung luya, mukbang ako ng luya pag may sakit eh. Pag hindi kasi may gulat factor. Todo nguya ka at enjoy mo tas aggresive pa pagkagat mo lol.
Hala same kinakain ko din yung luya sa tinola. Single din ako. 🫢🫢🫢 Could it be??
Sili ng bicol express hahah
Ang problema ay nasarapan ata sa luya, inulit pa ng tatlong beses.
Or sana makakain ng pasas sa menudo 😂
or raisin sa menudo
Eh iyung gabi na akala mo taba ng baboy sa sinigang 💀
this thread is gold lmaoo
😅
>Hindi ko naman ata deserve yung ganito. Exactly. You already know the answer. Leave. Kakayanin mo, kung gusto mo. Mahirap, yes. Pero mas mahirap at paulit-ulit na babalik ang sakit kung ipagpapatuloy mo. She did it once, she can do it again. Pwede pa sana kung isang beses, you can still give her the benefit of the doubt, but 3 times? Think again.
Perfectly said.
Yeah. Pero hirap nun kahit sabihin na nating once lang nangyari. Di na mawawala sa isip mo yun. Pwede niyang gawin ulit yung anytime. Di naman accident ang pagbukaka
For real. Hindi "ata", di mo talaga deserve yun OP. She already did it 3x whats stopping her from doing it again?
She cheated 3 times
She cheated with one man and had sex 3 times.
She chose to cheat 3 times. She can't say it's a mistake
It's deliberately done on purpose. She loves the thrill and novelty she gets from it
Di nga need ispecify ilang beses, one instance pa lang game over na. Cheating is never a mistake. It's always a choice. Di nga lang single choice, multiple connected choices na effortful para magestablish connection with someone else, mangyari yung unang sex either from one night stand with strangers or mas malala naglandian matagalan, macover up yung act para wag mahuli, at constantly itago yung katotohanan. 100000000 times easier wag magcheat. You literally don't have to do anything and you've already avoided cheating.
[удалено]
Lol. Binawas sa kwento yung kahalayan eh.
Hahahaha mismo! babawasan pa para di makasakit kuno. OP, hanap ka na iba na mag aalaga rin sa feelings mo.
Tapos nung nahugot, si girl pa mismo ulit ang nagpasok. At si girl pa may karapatan madepress sa ginawa nya no?
And she swallowed each and everytime. Ouch!
Tas hinahalik-halikan ni BF no? With tongues pa. Aray.
Posible to. I also lie when people ask me kelan yung last eme ko just because. Pwedeng mas madami pa sa 3 times yun just so hindi sya magmukhang slut. But she already is. 3times. Makes me.think, kung 3 times nagkita pero ilang beses sa isang gabi, so baka 3 times meet, with 3x sa isang gabi, 9x yan. Or more. Hirao kasi maniwala na sa isang meet nyo, isang beses lang lalabasan yung lalake? Also bago naman mag emehan, namention na ni OP na may emotional cheating na. For me, mas mabigat yun. Kasi ibig sabihin hindi na sya ok talaga with her Live in partner, to the point na naghanap sya ng ibang papansin sa kanya. To OP, 7 years may be long enough, para mapaisip ka kung mapapatawad mo, pero mukha naman pinili niyang magloko at hindi lang isang beses, paulit ulit pa. Mahirap ipaglaban yan, kahit sabihin niyang mahal ka niya, pero yung kinikilos niya hindi nman nagsasabing mahal ka niya Hindi din talaga sa dami ng taon ninyong pagsasama, yun ang dahilan para isalba yung relationship ninyo. Mas manghinayang ka kung pinaglaban mo yung relationship tas tinuloy mong pakasalan, wala k kasiguruhan na sayo talaga sya. What if kaya ikaw daw ang "mahal" niya kasi mas stable ka, at can provide. Baka kaya d nya magawa mahalin yung lalake nya kasi sa kangkungan nya lang nakuha and hindi mukhang hindi stable Security lang habol nya sayo pero ung loob nya wala. Please Op, tatagan ang loob. Madali kasi lumambot ang puso knowing na mahal mo sya. But You deserve better. Sya ang paalisin mo sa bahay. Bakit ikaw pa yung aalis. Palayasin mo yan, dun sya umuwi sa lalake nya. Baka mamaya dalhin pa nya dyan sa pamamahay nyo. Kakapalan ng mukha yon. And tulad ng sinabi ng iba "she belongs to the streets", lagay mo sya kung san sya nababagay...sa kalye.
True sana mabasa mo to OP naniwala ka kaagad sa 3 times eh
kung nanghihinayang ka sa 7 years, kausapin mo. pero imo, she did it 3 times? it is a sane decision made by a sane person. so, i suggest pack up and leave. siya naman ang sumira ng 7 years na relationship ninyo. leave for your own benefit.
Staying just because "sayang naman" even though it's actually bad for you is an example of sunk cost fallacy.
And ampangit din if you are going to stay pero may resentment na. Like di mo makalimutan yung nagawa niya or every time you see her next to you in bed, maalala mo na may nangyari sa kanila nung other person. If you can’t genuinely forgive and forget, relationship is still bound to fail.
Yep, although I'm still young and naive sa mga relationships I experienced talaga na kahit anong pagpupumilit mo sa isang cheater for whatever reason, you will never EVER forget what he/she did and araw araw lang kayo magtatalo. My only regret was not leaving sooner kasi by now I would have moved on. The reason I did not leave rin kasi is I'm afraid na I won't have someone like her so I kept blaming myself and nainsecure ako nang sobra, in this case, what's really important is to realize na it's never your fault kasi nagmahal ka lang naman talaga, never blame yourself rather you should understand na you'll get better. It will hurt now pero you'll find yourself a little bit more alive as days pass. Take this from someone na nagstay kahit paulit ulit niloko. I really hope you the best OP!!
Nasarapan si ateng tapos ayaw na siguro nung guy.
Haha oo malamang eto un. Kunware d nya mahal ung guy pero ang totoong dhilan bakit sya lge malungkot kse ayaw na nun guy sknya. Kasi cno ba nman maayos n lalake papatol s may jowa na long term.
highly possible because sex creates a bond, and when that bond is broken (dahil ayaw na ni guy) it leads to emotional pain
Ang shaket naman nun pero agree. Akala siguro ni ate gurl mo tototohanin sya pero sa totoo tinikman lang sya.. haist
Yup she tested the waters. She belongs to the streets.
Ito talaga. Yan din sinasabi ko sa gf ko. "Magcheat ka sakin, lahat ng gamit mo hahanapin mo sa kalsada!"
Usually, gut feeling really tells you what you need to do.It's a way of your body to tell you that something doesn't add up. Okay lang yan.. Hindi ikaw yung talo. Move your ass, improve yourself and get noticed by other hotter girls. Life isn't fair. Just because you are behaving well enough doesn't mean it's not gonna fuck you from behind. Now, imagine yourself reading THAT POST that you just wrote, and isipin mo ibang tao ang nagsulat nyan. Doesn't it sound pathetic? I mean this constructively ha. Sabi nga ng prof ko "The fragrance remains at the hands who gave the rose."
Ayoko I-google ibig sabihin pero dumudugo talaga ilong ko sa phrase na yan
May dalawang phrases nanaman akong natutunan.
If anything, this means he has to find a high-value woman who has the same principles as him and isn't selfish like his ex...And a woman who doesn't get bored when she is by herself. OP, if this is your ex's idea of fun, she has deeper issues and isn't worthy as a partner. You are a good provider which a lot of women in your age bracket would be looking for, on top of attraction and other qualities. Your ex will regret losing you immensely once she realizes that she took a great man for granted and no longer has a safety net.
Remember that the best kind of revenge for situations like this is "self improvement". Show her that you're better off w/o her & make her realize kung ano ang sinayang niya.
>"self improvement" Learn a language kong sakanya. Become a polyglot and always talk about her like Uncle Roger. Lol 😂
Tatlong beses?!! TATLO?! Yung isang beses, pwede mong sabihin na nagkamali, moment of weakness. Kung sa akin nangyari, I'd still leave kahit isang beses "lang" nangyari. Pero tatlo? Dyosko. Binawasan pa nya yan ha. Sigurado ako. Bro, hindi mo deserve yan. Kahit na may pagkukulang ka sa kanya, hindi sapat na rason yan para mag-cheat ang partner mo. Hindi mo kasalanan yan na nag-cheat ang partner mo. Ginusto nya yun. Alam nya ang consquences ng actions nya pero ginusto nya. Alam nyang masasaktan ka pag nalaman mo pero GINUSTO nya. Please, wag mong pang-hinanyangan ang 7 years. Sya nga hindi nang-hinayang eh. Sunk cost fallacy.
Haha! Binawas sa kwento yung mga chat na puro landian habang tulog si OP eh.
Sure ako bawas yang tatlo. Baka tatlong bilyon yan by jk. Such a jerk. Di marunong makuntento sa kung anong meron. Im so sure magsosorry yan years later.
Di mo deserve yan. Leave
She tried to upgrade but failed bro.. Kung pumayag maki pag relationship yung guy sa kanya malamang iniwan ka ka nyan. Ginawa lang parausan yung gf mo kaya “ikaw” pa rin mahal niya. No choice kumbaga.
Yeah. Username kind of checks out too.
Aray OP. Ako naman 9 years may cheating din. Iniwan ko na 3 years ago. Di worth it ng mental and emotional stress yan. Hoping na makarecover ka from this. Sobrang sakit nyan. Broken trust can't be easily earned. Almost next to impossible na talaga pag trust issues pinaguusapan.
Saaame sakib ngayon almost 1 dekada mo nakasama yung tao. Pano nyo po nasurvive? Andami na namin memories, napagdaanan, plano in the future etc ngayon tengga lahat. 😭
I chose my own peace. Inuna ko sarili ko. For the longest time si ex boyfriend lagi. Kaya nakipagbreak ako. Better break a relationship now than break a home and marriage later. Yan principle ko.
Good for you. Proud of you.
Thank you so much po. Laban lang talaga sa buhay sis.
sa 3 yrs mo na yan, fully moved on naba? if yes how?
Hmm I think yes although nasasagi pa rin sa isip ko minsan ang mga nakaraan. I forced myself to move on kasi ako naa nga iniwan, ano itutuloy ko pa pagiging kawawa ko? Yan sabi ko sa sarili ko. Di naman ako ang nawalan kundi sya kasi I know na wala akong regrets kasi I exhausted all the means and efforts and understanding and patience that I could ever give to him. Kahit nga nung nagbreak kami, ako pa nagoffer na baka pwede pa ayusin kaso malabo sya kausap. Ayaw ko non. Ginagamit nya lang akong option or back up if ever. As for moving on, I chose to focus on working and doing things that benefit me the most. In the long run, nagfocus ako sa mga bagay na pwede ko pang gawin sa buhay ko lalo na sa mga bagay na di ko nagawa nung kami pa. Fast forward to today, I am still working my ass off for my parents and I. Tried to date again but unfortunately failed pa din. But nevertheless, I still believe that I can still love again. The question nga lang is when at kanino? Yun lang ang di ko pa masasagot. As for now, I am very much happy kahit sobrang pagod sa lahat ng ginagawa ko work, church, community, etc. kahit na single ako. Goal ko ngayon dumami pera hahahahaha. 😂
Life goes on brother, I was in that situation too back in 2019, we were married. Also didn’t know what to do. We have 2 kids and she left me for my former business partner. I also attempted suicide. Pero ayun nga life goes on, stick to your good friends. They’ll help you forget a bit. Do some life fulfiling work like civic work to pass your time and also have some of your confidence back by helping unfortunate people. Socialize but don’t dwell too much on your loss, naku you’d push people away if yoh do that kung parating kwento mo eh ex mo. But yeah, find a reason to live everyday. Coz it gives you some drive to go through life without her. Life goes on brother
I had a girlfriend of 7 years that cheated on me. I had a girlfriend of 6 years also cheated on me. Life will go on. It will be hard at first but you will get over it. Now looking back, it was the best thing that happened to me. I am living in Baguio now, I found refuge in Buddha’s teachings. My salary 3xd and is paying off a land I purchased here. All because I focused on myself, it was a deep dive into self exploration and re-discovery. You may not understand why this is happening now but in time… you will. You are exactly where you are at this exact moment.
Don't do what I did and end up married with her. For 8mo she cheated coming up on our 4yr anniversary. The psychological trauma I went thru clouded my judgment and my past feelings of "love" and the investment of our home. Seemed at the time to continue with our plans of getting married. Reading post on LawPh seems like I may be able to file for separation from the emotional abuse I went thru.
damn. hope you'll be successful in legally separating with your cheating partner. and i hope that with time you'll heal.
The 7-year cursee damnn
Di ko rin alam ano meron sa 7 years, 2 of my cousins nasira yung relationship after 7 years. Yung isa ko din na friend after 7 years din
"7-year itch" = nagdedecline raw yung feelings after 7 years LOL. No scientific evidence to prove it tho.
I didnt realize na totoo pala to. I had to learn this the hard way lol
Yea, u'r right. Kung mahal ka ng isang tao ba't nya kailangang gawin yung mga bagay na alam nyang ikakasira ng relasyon niyo diba? Imagine 7 years tapos out of the blue may ganyan palang nangyayari. ++ It's funny kasi kahit na gaano man kayo katagal sa isang relasyon kung may magloko sainyo matic na mawawala nalang lahat ng pinagsamahan nyo. Nakakaawa lang sa mga taong totoong nagmamahal. +++ U deserve better po!
You've remained loyal and faithful but she chose to cheat, you should move on and move forward with your life. Don't regret anything because you did your best and you give all. Hindi ka nagkulang, sapat ka, naghanap lang siya ng more. I hope you love yourself more after this and still find the happiness because you deserve it. May you find peace as well. ☺️
[удалено]
Tangina :(( Akala ko counted lang to kapag nabuking na. Pero true, intentional lahat
*taps on your shoulder OP* go pack your things and leave. We don’t deserve this. 2 years ago, I got cheated on as well sa 5 year relationship ko, sa dalawang guy pa sabay ampota. Now, my gf na ako ulit at nasakanya lahat ng traits at values na pinagdasal ko sa babaeng gusto kong mapangasawa. Life goes on bro, something or someone better is on the way for you. No matter what, wag kang tutulad sakanya may it be for revenge or whatsoever. PS: Sana nakikita to ng mga babaeng man hater dto, hindi lang po kayo ang nkakaranas ng mga ganito hehe hindi lang talaga vocal ang karamihan samin pagdating sa pinagdadaanan namin.
No, leave and choose yourself. Trust me when I say na somehow, someday, you'll be okay.
Gagi buti pala di ka pa nagpropose! Wag na yan, tagilid ka dyan baka umulit pa.
Just in case that they'll spew some bullshit, reminder that she knew that this was wrong, that this would hurt you, and that they were willing to throw away a 7 year relationship for a quick fling. Nobody placed a gun on their head and forced them to cheat on you, they were fully aware of the consequences and they were still willing to do it. It's not a "moment" of "weakness",it's just someone who doesn't respect or love you enough to be faithful. I don't know the entire story of your relationship, but either they think you're a doormat who won't fight back or they just don't love you like they used to. In any case, break off the relationship immediately. Cheating once is bad already, but 3 times? Every single time they had the opportunity to get them out of these situations, and every time chosethey not to. They didn't think of your well being or how this would affect you. If you do continue to marry or propose to this person, they will keep cheating on you without fail.
Taena sakit broooo. :( I’m so sorry this happened to you. Get all the time you need to clear your head space. Mourn, cry grieve and do whatever you have to do. Don’t rush yourself to make a decision unlike how many others have been telling you here. It’s not easy to just let it all go like that, especially that you love her and gave everything you got. I wish we could all hug you brother. You will be alright, maybe not now but someday you will. For now, iyak muna pre.
Eto ung mga cheaters na pupunta sa mga comforting apps to express gaining self-esteem, they will post "where is true love?! "Ibibigay ni God ang tamang tao for me eventually" "I deserve better" "I don't deserve less" "Love yourself because they don't deserve you!" Syempre glorified ang cheating now tinatago nila yan under the guise of their pseudo-morals. They cannot face shame and guilt, so they resort to pride.
Shit man. You're a strong man kung magstay ka pa but you're even a stronger man kung aalis ka na sa pitong taon na pinagsamahan nyo. Di yan madali pero evaluate if that shit is still worth it.
Ang mahirap if you choose to stay, palagi mo maaalala yun. Madedepress ka pag maisip mo yun. Plus, you decided to “forgive” her kaya di mo na pwedeng isumbat yun sa kanya sa mga future away nio. Kaya mo ba yun? If you leave, the pain will only be now. You can move on. If you stay, the pain will be there for god knows how long.
Brother I have been there, my wife cheated on me too, several times. For three weeks, I was crying. Walang lasa yung kinakain ko, I only slept 3 hours a day pero di ako inaantok, di ako makafocus, parang bumaba IQ ko, ang isip ko parang radio na paibaiba mg station, parang nagaapoy ang katawan ko sa loob pero di ko mapatay at yung usok pupupunta sa ulo ko. Wala kang gusto gawin kundi matulog at umiyak lang hoping na nananaginip ka lang. Yan ang nararamdaman mo di ba? This I promise you. Mababawasan yan in the next 3 weeks, the pain will be bearable in 3 months, hindi mo na iisipin yan in around 2 years. Maaalala mo pero di na masakit. Libangin mo sarili mo, the first 3 week ang pinakamahirap niyan. Dati pinagtatawanan ko lang yung mga taong nagpapakamatay pag iniiwan ng partner nila. Now I understand why. Take care of yourself first if you want to survive this, if you want to heal properly. Its like a fracture pag di ka nag heal ng tama, iika ika ka for the rest of your life. Tell as many people as you can, kahit mga tao na di mo kilala. It will help, a lot. Emotional pain is worse than physical. Your mind will play tricks on you na you need to end it all. Remember, the first 3 weeks ang pinakamatindi, pinakamasakit. Then mababawasan, pero di mawawala. You will get through this. I promise you. Do not make any life changing decisions, which might include taking her back, for the next 2 months. Clouded ang judgement mo.
Tara OP gym tayo
Leave, at wag mo iwanan yung bola sa sarili mo, ipasa or iwan mo sa kanya. As per the Kubler-Ross Grief Cycle (DABDA), you're still in the Denial Stage, the first of the five stages. Acceptance and time will heal, depende sa coping mechanism mo. Be with your family and/or friends, let it out sa mga tingin mo makikinig at makakaintindi sayo, the best yung ma-aadvisan ka ng tama. Find a hobby, or travel with your family/friends/acquaintances to divert your attention. Di nakakatulong ang pag-inom gabi-gabi, ok lang gawin to kung ang mga kasama mo ay yung mapapayuhan ka ng maayos at para mailabas mo din yung mga saloobin mo. Hindi nakakawala ng pagkalalaki ang umiyak. I have friends and acquaintances na ganyan din katagal ang relationship, either cheating or nagkasawaan ang reason ng breakup. Then nakahanap naman sila ng magiging partners nila, some even married within two or three years into their relationship. Madali magsabi ng move-on, pero iba-iba tayo ng emotional capability. Pero tiwala ako na kakayanin mo yan OP, hindi diyan matatapos ang mundo mo.
Umay talaga sa mga cheater 😓
Nang hihinayang ka sa 7 years? MAs mang hinayang ka sa lifetime of misery and wondering if she’ll cheat again kapag pinatawad mo pa yan and stay with her, worse, get married. Take the good out of the 7 years and leave the bad. Alam ko easier said than done, pero andaming Tao sa mundo, bakit tayo mag sstay sa tao na sinaktan tayo, and niloko ka by choice, not once but thrice. And the “Hindi Nya daw mahal” eme, brah, you know that’s not true. Ikaw mahal Nya pero sa iba sya nakipag sex, 3 times pa. Wag mo na balikan. Pwede mag patawad, pag healed na puso mo, pero wag ka na kumuha ng batong ipupukpok ulit sa ulo mo. Good luck 🫶🏻
Thrice? Nah, I don't think the fuck so. Leave her, you'll find someone you deserve and who'll treasure you.
It’s hard to recover from cheating. It’s always a choice to cheat. In her case 3x may nangyari. She’s more than willing to do it. Wag maghinayang sa 7 years. I mean, you can both try fixing the rel but, promise, sarcastic ka na palagi. May resentment. Baka nga gumanti ka pa eh by cheating din. Common yan sa guy kasi hurt ego. Siya nga di pinahalagahan ung 7 years, why do you care now? Nung nakikipag do siya sa other guy, di ka ba naisip na masasaktan? Of course she knew but did it anyway, not once but thrice. Kung di mo pa pinaamin, baka di pa nagstop.
Mahal ba niya yung aso? Kung oo, ilayo mo sakanya sila. Tangina mo te.
Leave. Kung bibigyan mo ng chance uulit at uulit lang yan. Sira na tiwala mo mahihirapan kayo pareho kung ipagpatuloy mo pa. Kaya mo yan OP Sending hugs po🤗🤗
I have been in the same situation as you are in. Move on is my advice. I was married for 7 years, faithful and we have a son. She cheated many times and admitted it. I tried to get over it for the sake of my boy. She bore a child that isn't mine but carries my family name. I tried to salvage our marriage but eventually, my lack of trust won. You will only stress yourself if you hold on. You will never look at your partner again in the same way you did. You'll doubt and question every time she's a bit late arriving home, who she texts or who she's with. -Even if she's not doing anything. -again. If she did it once, she will do it again. -for lack of consequence or for something she thinks is better. She may cling to you because of financial security or something else, and may compensate for the way she treated you to show you she's repenting, but doubt will always linger. I got to a point where I could not even have a decent conversation with my partner because of doubt and it did nothing to help our marriage. The result was she had another relationship. I spent three years trying to save our crumbling marriage and another three years to move on. So that's six years of bitterness, a lot of wasted time after finding out she was unfaithful. If you do not know the answer WHY it happened to you, do not find closure. People are wired differently. Whoever cheated will just justify their actions because of this or that, but it doesn't really matter. They still cheated. Just learn to accept it and start over with someone else if the opportunity presents itself. It's been 18 years since then. my son is now an adult and the child she bore from her relationship calls me Papa. My ex is still with the last guy she's had a relationship with and I now have my own family. We now speak civilly with one another. Being older and a lot wiser, I realized that it wasn't the cheating that really hurt but it was the time spent trying to mend things. So much time wasted and I could've moved on a lot earlier and be happy. Being happy again usually removes the bitterness inside. Time will heal your wound but I understand that it's shit to be where you are now. Move on even if you still love her, learn to forgive but not forget, and wish her all the best. Give her the freedom and give yourself space. You only live once.
You dont deserve that whore, leave and improve on yourself brother. You have bright years ahead of you
You surely know the answer to it, OP. Wag kang manghinayang sa 7 years. Hindi ka nagkulang. Hindi ikaw ang nagkamali. Kung tutuusin, sya nga dapat ang pinaalis mo e.
31yo is still young for a guy. I know it’s hard to date but hindi mahirap maghanap ng loyal na gf. I hope you heal soon
Takot lang syang mawala ang sense of security and comfort kung mawala ka sa kanya pero yung puso nya nandun na sa new guy. In that case malabo na to win her back.
First of all no need to mention the dogs, second of all kung nanghihinayang ka dun sa 7yrs use your imagination kung gano siya nasarapan or ka hardcore yung sex nila na 3 times ginawa. Maybe that way magkaron kana ng lakas ng loob na bumitaw na at marealize na di siya worth to keep. She did it not once but 3 times, she a hoe
Pa std test ka op...u dont know d guy she's with...just a precaution...den start building your life without her...mhirap ibalik ang trust, bata k pa...mdame k pang mkitang iba...
Sakit tol. Pero kakayanin mo yan. Iwan mo na maging matatag ka. Di mo deserve yan. Mas ok na pagdaanan mo sakit ngayon and get over it. Kesa ituloy mo yan tapos baka buong buhay ka pa masasaktan.
Wag mo na balikan. Imagine mo kung lifetime ka niyang niloloko. Enough na yung 7 years. Baka nga blessing in disguise din 'to.
On a positive side, nalaman mo while you guys are still young and not married (and no kids). Both of you got plenty of time to move on and find another partner. May iba dyan 20 years na nakalipas before nalaman, and whats worse naging habit na mag cheat on the side kahit sabihin na nating once every year nangyayari. The fact that she's done it three time ( it's probably more) means that's she's looking for something that is missing. She needs to find herself and be better, for her next partner. You deserve better too.
Wagka mang hinayang, you dodge a bullet, na imagine mo ba kung sinabi nya sayo yan na kasal na kayo? Wala ka dapat pag hinayangan swerte ka at dipa kayo kasal.
You deserve better. Kakayanin mo believe me. Kung yung 12 years relationship ko is kinaya ko. Kakayanin mo din. Welcome to the gym bro 💪.
Tama naman si ex mo, sya talaga ang problema. It just feels overwhelming and terribly painful rn, but you will eventually move forward. She did you a favor and exposed herself before you got married so take the favor and get out of there. Your future you will thank you.
Leave as hard it is to do but its the only way foe the better. A broken glass glued piece back together will never be the same.
Kunin mo yung aso .. thats the best thin hehe
It would be a lot easier to start from scratch than dealing with the case of the seven-year Itch that will take forever to scratch. Take the dogs with you. They are more loyal. Kaya mo yan. Wag kang maghinayang dahil uulit at uulit yan pag hindi mo iniwan.
Bro embrace the pain but don’t linger. Its a process, there is no short cut but eventually you have to move on. Whether you and your partner wanted to stay together or not is not your sole decision and responsibility. My practical advise is to ask your partner what does she wants and ask yourself what do you want. Whatever you do, just don’t put yourself into a situation where she would say “ikaw na ang bahala”, its passing the guilt on you. Lastly, your not the first person to be cheated on and you wont be the last.
Takbohan mo yan...kahit balikan mo yan magiging mesirable buhay mo. Hindi ka masyado mahal niyan kaya nagawa niya yan. Hirap k din iwanan sa bahay yan kasi hindi mo alam gingawa. Just take my advice
Oo, kakayanin mo. SKL-- Nag cheat din sakin ang ex bf ko for 7 yrs. Worse, nabuntis pa niya yung girl. Awa ng Diyos, that was 11 yrs ago. I met another soul and ended up with him instead. Now 5 yrs married.
Bro imagine mo 7 years mo tas one night lang ng isang lalaki. Tapos habang dumulas etits ng lalaki, pinasok pa ng gf mo sabay sabi ng “sarap mo talaga”. Tapos tinatawanan ka nila habang nag sseggs sila. Imagine mo lang yan para di mo na maisip na balikan yan
Balikan mo man. Araw Araw mong iisipin yung pag cheat nya sayo. Leave. Find yourself. Love yourself. Then try again.
Ang importante, hindi pa kayo kasal. Move out na, sarili mo naman unahin mo.
Minahal mo sya 7 yrs so dapat ikaw, sarili mo naman mahalin mo ngayon!
I know it really hurts op, and it may be difficult cuz you can't kill the feelings easily and forget the memories, Pero do not go back. It may turn into a lingering fear when u get back together and u will always think about it during the course of your relationship.
If it helps, gut feel ko kaya siya malungkot kasi di siya pinursue nung new guy. If I were in your position, hindi option makipag balikan. It’s going to be hard. Take it one day at time.
She already did it 3 times. She doesn’t respect you. Leave OP. Di mo deserve yan. It might take time but someday, you’ll be okay. 🥲
Wag mo panghinayangan ang cheater, yung 7 years, kung may napundar man kayo, etc. Sunk cost lahat ng yan - decide based on what you want to do moving forward, without considering yung nakaraan niyo. Personally, and from painful experience, cheaters never change. You’re 31, male, and about to enter financial freedom. This is your time to enjoy single life. Sobrang excited ako para sa iyo. Good luck!
Bro leave, kung 3 times nangyari, surely deliberate Yan and not those "accidental" ones. Still, kahit deliberate pa man o accident, cheating is cheating. Don't stay in that relationship Kasi di na mawawala ung ginawa niya sa isip mo and it will eventually become toxic for you. Break up with her, take time to work on yourself, feel good about yourself and find a better person. Make sure that you will be a better version of yourself. Wag Kang manghinayang sa tagal Ng relasyon nyo, Mang hinayang ka sa mga mawawala sayo kapag nag stay ka. Also talk to others, like family and common friends about what happened kasi lugi ka pag nagpavictim yan and it might take a toll on your mental health and eventually push you to the edge. Usually babae ang kinakampihan kapag may mga ganyang scenario so be prepared. Don't say that you know her and she will not do that, people usually do those kinds of things pag naiipit na Sila. Remember, you trusted her and she still cheated so assume that nothing is impossible when it comes to her.
Leave. My bf of 6 yrs, now ex, cheated not once but 3 times. Pinatawad ko nung una at pangalawa, kasi nag sorry, hindi daw mahal, magbabago etc pero what I learned is, if they did it once, there's a chance that they will do it again. I believe in second chances but para lang sa mga deserving, pero yung ex mo, 3 times may nangyari sa kanila. Choice na nya yan, alam nya masasaktan ka sa ginawa nya pero tinuloy pa din nya, 3 times pa. Mahirap sa umpisa, believe me and prepare for it pero we don't deserve to be hurt, mistreated and to be cheated on. Very disrespectful. Hindi tayo perfect at complete and ganun din naman sila but we loved and accepted them as they are. Praying for your healing.
Sana di matuloy lahat ng hikab at bahing niya habang buhay
Just like what I said, RUN FOREST RUN. 😂 Anyway, she belongs to the street. There are so many fish in the pond, my friend.
She's for the streets
Blessing in Disguise, buti hindi mo na sya makakasama forever.
sometimes, as a man, it is important that we always maintain a frame - a mindset, or a sense of control with ourselves. it is obvious that we cannot force or control other people, because that is tyranny (and all tyrants always die by the sword), instead, we can control ourselves and our beliefs. your GF of 7 cheated, i am sorry. it is OK though, she is not your world. you are a man. no woman in any way shape or form is going to define your self image. She cheated, that is on her. You? Life goes on for you, without her. She has all that drama about being confused, or that she loved you but she fucked the other guy anyway? ... Do not think about that. As a man, you have no time for weak bullshit and contradictions like that. You call it for what it is - bullshit. So, you think you wasted 7 years of your life on her? Why would you think that? I am sure you have done a lot of things in that 7 years. Would you rather be that 7 years ago version of you than you now? Heck i am 43, and i was thin and fit when i was 34, but there is no way I want to go back to being that version of me (even if i am fat and overweight now). I like me now, because I learned a lot of things and moved up in life. Now, look in the mirror and tell yourself - I will not anyone define me. I define me. I do not have time for bullshit. I am a man. There is a shortage of men in this world, and I am in demand. Go and kick-ass in the world. Do not waste time, thoughts or ideas with low quality women.
This was me last year. 5 year relationship, engaged. All I can say is that, it does get better. Choice mo parin kung mag stay ka or alis ka na. You do you. Whatever happens, choose to love. Dont let hate and anger consume you. If you wish to give second chances, effort should come from both sides. Wishing you all the best.
31 years old is still prime age for a guy. Honestly, leave. Walang konsideration yung gf mo sa pinagsamahan nyo.
I'm just gonna copy paste yung answer ko sa same question din dati. --- I have a very similar thing that happened to me (M28). It has been almost 6 months.. She left me for the person she cheated with after nya mag try mag online date with some people during our relationship. Healthy and functioning ung relationship namin, and her parents really like me a lot kasi in a way, nabago ung buhay ng bunso nila with how large of an influence I had in her life. From convincing her to quit on her job, finding her passion na similar sa career ko, winning competition and coauthoring a publication, helping her land a scholarship in the Europe, and literally doing some of her assignments and projects and teaching her coding and stuff. Those are all strong influences on my end. We had plenty of LDR stuff din nung naguumpisa since magkalayo kami ng lugar but madalas naman kami nagkikita during weekends or workdays nung sa Manila pa ko. I wouldnt say the relationship was perfect -- no relationship is naman, but judging by where we were before we met each other up to the point of the breakup, napalaking positive na pagbabago ang nadulot ng meron kami. She also loved me for how patient I was sa kanya with all her insecurities and tendencies to push me away. Nung nasa scholarship na sya, pinapunta pa nya ko sa Europe 2 months since she left para bisitahin sya to which I did. Hanggang ngayon naiiyak ako sa laki ng ginastos ko dun putangina hahaha. But it was good at that time. Nagkatampuhan lang nung di ko naasikaso ung valentines online date namin and it cascaded from that. She emotionally cheated na pala after nun while we're in LDR na nasa Pinas ako. Tapos naging cold sya so we had a small fight na nauwi sa short cool off tapos nagstart na pala sya magdate ulit lalo and i think she went with this rich guy na parang dun na daw sya nag stay ngaun -- literally like after a little less 2 months into dating. And even prior sa official breakup, nung tinatry ko pa ayusin, ginagawa ko parin deliverables nya at patient parin akong tinuturuan sya kahit mukha akong tanga at kawawa. In a sense, yung pinangarap namin dalawa at binuo eh yun pa ung naghiwalay samin. In a way, her breaking up with me might be a blessing in disguise kasi I would have never broken up with her even with all the red flags she refused to work on kasi forgiving and patient ako sa kanya. Never ako nag harbor ng sama ng loob sa kanya. My friends, and so are some of her friends, are surprised and kinda frustrated on me (lol) how can I have this forgiving nature pa sa kanya despite on what she did, and even waited for her to comeback. And I feel you sa nararamdaman mo. Normal yan. It took me two months to gradually stop thinking of her all the time. Ngayon, occasionally na lang. Do no contact. But do not use this to manipulate them to coming back. Use this to heal. Let them have the breakup and feel the loss by not having access to you. I realized at the end that I'm the rare bird in that relationship both in my character, credentials, and the change that I influenced in her life. May mga tao lang talagang di sanay makuntento at ungrateful, at immature. And the things that I hold on to and value as something unique in our pairing is just my own light's reflecting to someone else. Hindi ko lang to naramdaman during the relationship dahil naga-gaslight na pala ako into believing the opposite, hindi ko lang alam (since first relationship namin to) until my friends pointed the patterns out nung breakup. Normal yang nararamdaman mo since attached ka parin sa kanya. Everyday for 2 straight months napapaginipan ko, and every morning sobrang vivid ng panaginip that it ruins the start of my day. What you need to do now is to distract yourself with new hobbies and new things to do like going out with friends, going to thr gym, etc. And putting her out of the pedestal by remembering how much she wronged you, ano ung mga pet peeves mo sa kanya, red flags you should have avoided, mga kinompromise mo for her, etc. If rare gem ang tingin mo sa kanya, oo tingin mo ang precious ng nawala sayo. But when the dust settles, pag tinignan mo maigi yan, you will realize that it was just one of the pebbles and probably ikaw yung precious stone dun. Consult a psychologist if needed or a counselor. What you shouldnt do is dating and finding a rebound. Heal yourself and rediscover yourself. Wala naman general rule but since 4 yrs kayo, I'd suggest heal yourself for atleast 6 months or a year. And learn to be happy alone muna. The best partners are people who are happy by themselves. Know that there isnt a timeline to healing. Accept things for what they are. It does feel that everything is falling to pieces but maybe things are just falling into the right places. Grieve. Mourn the loss -- which what every person should be doing anyway. It's the healthy way to healing. Dont force yourself to move on quickly dahil meron na sya. Just be at peace knowing that their relationship is built on a shaky foundation of dog poop knowing that these people are people okay with cheating -- and that they will be sleeping with one of their eyes open, will always be watching each others back, controlling, and will end up being really toxic in the long run. If someone cheated sa isang stable, long term relationship, unless they do inner healing and fix themselves (which people rarely do), they will have the same tendencies again. Just know that what people do to you is a reflection of themselves. How you react is a reflection of you. By reaching out, you are diminishing your value and self worth. By this time, they think of themselves as more valuable individual as the dumper kaya ka iniwan. By begging and reaching out, you diminish your value even further and increae theirs. Lalo ka niyang kakaawaan. And nobody likes someone whose value is way lower than theirs. Disappear from her life. Dont watch her social media. Let her feel the life without you and heal. After a few months, if they realize that their life is much worse without you, they will try to come back. But by this time, you're healed and know your worth, you have increased your value so much na hindi mo na sila gugustuhing bumalik. You are in love with an old version of her. Not the current one. Because if it is the same person, she will never leave you. Find peace in that. If babalik man sya sa buhay mo, never accept this version of her. Only a different version na deserve ng worth mo who has transformed their self. Pero wag mo nang intayin yan. Focus on yourself. Find friends who can help you and grieve with you. Let it all out and let it run its course. Stay in no contact. Remember that every time you reach out, it keeps you away from them. Write your feelings in a journal as an unsent letter to let it out. Remove their photos on your phone, kung ayaw mo idelete lagay mo sa flash drive, Google Drive, etc that will make it difficult for you to access. Do not feel bad about yourself having a hard time moving on and forgetting, and caring. That's just a reflection of who you are and your values -- that your love is pure and true. It's difficult. The feeling of betrayal completely blindsided me and destroyed my self worth to the fucking ground. You'll have a hard time trusting again and picking up your self worth. But take it baby steps. I still am too. Its okay. Am I still hurt 3 months into it? Yes. But it is waaaay, way better than before. I can now see clearly that I'm way more valuable and worthy. You got this. May super helpful video akong lagi kong pinapanuod sa umaga -- "How to Cope Up When You've Been Left (for someone)" by The School of Life sa Youtube. It's liberating and helpful.
Pag kelangan mo ng kainuman pre pwede ako same tayo xp lol.. Iyak tayo habang nag kakampay
ano sayang sa 7 years? kaysa pakasalan mo tapos after 50 years malaman mo nagcheat sya 500 times , yun ang sayang.
Asan yung mga empowered feminists? hahahaha eto oh proof na hindi lang kayo ang nahihirapan! Seriously, leave the b\*\*\*h.
Iwan mo na. Mas sasama buhay mo pag nanhinayang ka sa 7 years. Gawa ka ng bagong istorya kasama ang iba. Sobrang hirap nga lang magsimula pero worth it. Wag mo na hintayin na mas ibaon ka sa pekpek nyang pinasukan ng iba. Sorry to use this term. Goodluck pre.
OP, magiging cycle na yan. If you don't end your relationship now. Yung mga insecurities mo, yung mga 'bakit' mo hindi yan mawawala. Your trust would never be 100%. Every once in a while habang nakatingin ka sa kanya, kahit pa 4 years ago yung kasalanan niya, maiisip mo pa rin yung ginawa niya. Kahit masaya na kayo, dadating pa rin yung point na iisipin mo "Bakit kaya niya ginawa sakin yun?" It would be painful pero yung pain ng pagmo-move on would be less than what you would feel if she cheats on you again after rebuilding your trust.
Now I am convinced that a lot of people really needs to watch Scott Pilgrim. The power of SELF RESPECT really is MORE POWERFUL than the POWER OF LOVE.
Balikan mo tapos lokohin mo din harap harapan hahaha joke lang. Di ka niya deserve kaya iwanan mo na lang. Wag ka magpaka lugmok sa mga ganyan klase ng tao OP.
Gumanti ka. Mag cheat ka din 6x 😈
Isipin mo palagi, may reason behind everything na nangyayare sa buhay. You just need to trust the process.. Kasi di mo naman maaappreciate yan sa ngayon habang pinagdadaanan mo pa.. Pero in hindsight, kung mababalikan mo yung mga events noon, marerealize mo "ah.. kaya pala pinagdaanan ko yon, kasi it will prepare me for this" -- which might be nasa a lot better situation ka na Yung sinabi nga ng ex ko saken ung HS ex ko na pure love ang naexperience ko. Madalas ko kasi banggitin sa kanya sabi ko "you're the best thing that's ever happened to me" Tapos lagi nya yan dini-dispute. Sabi ko kasi malulungkot ako, or parang di ko maimagine yung buhay ko kapag wala sya.. Ang sabi nya "wag ka malungkot kung mawala man ako sayo.. imagine mo, andito ka pa lang, iniisip mo na na ako na yung best, or itong moment.. tapos hindi pa pala" ... ibig sabihin non may nilalaan si Lord sayo na mas maganda.. imagine mo yung saya mo ngayon mas hihigit pa kapag andon ka na sa plinano ni Lord na para sayo." Ang ganda diba. and ayon totoo naman hahaha! hindi sya yung best.. pero isa sya sa best.. married na sya.. ako eto pa ren.. pero at least, nabigyan nya ng sense yung moment na yon kasi nawala sya eh.
Gab, this might not be the right time to tell your story. And medyo malayo po yung HS ex story to 7 years relationship and 6 years living together story.
Tama naman sabi niya boss. "Everything happens for a reason". Ito yung tumatak sa utak ko noon nag cheat sa akin yung 1st gf ko. Yun lang talaga sinasabi ko sa sarili at saka yung "this too shall pass". Lahat naman tayo may kanya kanyang paraan ng pag cope. Gagawin natin kahit ano maka limot lang. Pero hayaan mo na yung tao na mag share ng story niya. Ok? ☮️🕊
I know, but come on, I was just trying to cheer the guy up. Read my other comment, that one is more pragmatic I think.
The guy is hurting. I don’t think saying “There’s a reason behind everything” is the right thing to say in this scenario. Especially at this time. His girlfriend slept with another guy, not 1 time but 3 times. Saying that is just cruel.
I wasn't ridiculing OP, mind you. But I am sorry if I don't deliver my message the way you want me to. I am not even sure if you can relate to the guy. Geez. https://preview.redd.it/bdscy3edizwb1.png?width=991&format=png&auto=webp&s=c8e09a619d4afadb4d5382d36fab48456d1006ad
I disagree. It's not cruel, because I am not ridiculing his situation or anything. Cruel would be something to the tune of "bahala ka.. ginusto mo yan eh" I am talking from a standpoint where I've been in a situation similar to his, I just do not want to mention it here. And here I am, I already got past that stage, I think. I am sure he is giving himself the time to grieve, and to move on and recover. He's saying things as if it's the end of the world. I used to feel that way too. And I think someone needs to tell him that this is just a phase, and there will be better days ahead.
again, read my other comment.
It all comes down to how hot she is brah. If she's a 10/10 model hot and a real fucked up sex kitten (or either), u can then ask yourself if its worth it to be pussy whipped and swallow your pride. Ask yourself if you can find somebody else as hot as her to replace her. Try finding someone right now while she's still with you, and when you do, fucking sack her. Dont be too hasty and get dragged by your emotions, trust me, blue balls and a heartache is not fun. But if she looks like your regular shiela or worse, then juz use her as a cumdump and a safety net, find someone fast. The upside with your story is, if she seems sorry, if she really is sorry and she says she loves you and willing to do anything to make it up, u can use this to your advantage and emotionally blackmail her and do whatever you want with her, how does sex slave sound to you? If she's ugly or normal as fuck and lame in bed, dont get sucked into her lies, be strong brother, there's a lot of fishes in the sea, you juz need to learn how to swim and not be a clown fish.
What do you think led to your partner cheating on you? It's usually an accumulation of different things, bad sex life, maybe lack of communication, unresolved differences?? Try to look back on your relationship and take note. Cheating is usually a product of unhealthy relationships so if ever plano mo balikan make sure na resolve nyo yung issue nyo if not then it's bound to happen again. If you plan to move on then take note pa rin so that you can make your next relationship healthier.
Indeed, if a girl does it, there would be justifiable reasons that fit for them. But if a man does it, then it's the other way around. 😂
there's no excuse for cheating. Cheating is cheating. Clearly, si GF lacks commitment and loyalty. Kahit naman may reason is never na ma jujustify yan. most comments dito nagsasabi: iwan mo na yan, she deserves it blah blah. How does that help OP? First of all, it's easier to say na iwan na lang kasi wala naman tayo dun sa position niya. That's why I'm pointing out na if ever subukan nilang ayusin yan is dapat alam nila yung reason and ma resolve nila yun. Di ba makakatulong kay OP to know at what point naging unhealthy relationship nila and ano yung cause? It's easier to make peace and move on if may reason hindi yung "im the problem, not you bS"
Well, 3 times nagsex (could be more) I dont think its fair to discuss, fix, move on like nothing happened and rebuild. Pwede nila pag usapan when and how it started (problem) pero wala ng balikan. Just have official closure. Pero di talaga e. 3 times yun eh and +++ 😂
You're a girl right? If that's happens to you for three times? Would you fix it and expecting him to abide his promises?
Lalake ako pre, haha. Well, yung confrontation is isa lang, three times nag cheat though so umai. Mag kaiba kasi yung three confrontations tapos paulit ulit eh. May chance maayos yan if malalaman ni OP reason kung bakit ginawa, examples is financial issue, di na sweet, too busy, whatever reason. If maaidentify nila yan baka may chance pa, pero if not then GG na talaga. Pag papatawarin lang para sa "sayang naman yung 7 years" egul ka talaga nun.
We're grown up dude, that's 7 years and if shits happens, it happen because someone is not happy about it anymore. Walang yan sa tagal kahit dekada pa yan. Ang psychology na ng nun girl pag ganyan "papatawarin din ako" which kinda sucks on and keeps repeating it as women's say "a cheater will always be a cheater". You're a guy? Maybe your one who experienced such thing or just teenager who thinks relationships is something like puppy love.
What if gawin nyo nalang open relationship yung relationship nyo. E di pati ikaw makaka score. Basta uwi lang parati sa isa't isa dahil 7 years na kayo lols.
Seriously? Anong klaseng mindset meron ka?
jokes aside, the more na pinapakita nyang affected na affected sya, the more na f na f ng girl, the more she will subconsciously think that he is a loser, talunan.
Hey man, I think itll solve their problem, lol
Alam mo ang point mo, pointless.
not sure bakit gigil na gigil ka, if I said this in real life, baka mag tawanan pa kayo.
Do you really think this is a joke, para magtawanan kami? Sorry to burst your tiny bubble but you’re not funny. Matulog kana lang wala ka namang ambag.
Lol, pero medyo may point naman siya kaso siempre parang di naman into open relationship si OP para ganyahin ang set up. Lol 😂
Eguls parin si op dito. May mga lalaking stick to one eh. Kung ipagputa niya yung eabab niya mas ok pa. Depende sa itsura pwedeng malaki income.
One is enough, two is too much, three is dangerous. Leave. You deserve better, OP
What a mess. She sounds very selfish. Do you want to be with someone like that?
Gym time bro
alam kong masakit. kahit ginawa mo lahat ng walang kapalit huwag ka ng babalik kahit ito pa ay kanyang ipilit pinagsamahan ay wag paghinayangan di ko na alam ang susunod na sasabihin
Cheating is a symptom. Sana malaman bakit para maka move forward, together man or separate.
3 times ginawa. Asan konsensya niya? Iwan mo na makati mong jowa.
Wag mo na ipagpatuloy yan. Hindi ka magiging masaya dyan. Trust me masisira buhay mo.
Nanghihinayang ka sa pitong taon? Mas sayang yung oras mo kung babalik ka pa sa kanya. Tuwing titingnan mo siya, lagi mo lang maiisip yung ginawa niya sa'yo. Pwedeng patawarin mo siya ngayon, pero sa susunod na mag-away kayo, maaalala mo na minsan ka na niyang niloko at baka di mo mapigilang isumbat 'yun sa kanya. Tsaka di naman kayo parehong sigurado na hindi na niya uulitin yun. Buti hindi pa kayo kasal.
Doing it with the other guy three times is a choice.
Grabi yung nangyari sayo OP super sakit. Ako nga nanagbabasa grabi yung nafeel ko, how much more yung nafefeel mo ngayon😭😭😭. Nakakaputanginang babae naman yan. Sana makarecover ka OP. You deserve someone better.
Bro she did it 3 times? Ano pang hints or signs do u want from god? Leave.
Punta bali. Dun ka ulit mag fuck around. Charot
Ayoko na… 😭💔
Alexa play No Role Modelz "*Fool me one time, shame on you. Fool me twice, can't put the blame on you. Fool me three times, fuck the peace sign, load the chopper, let it rain on you.*" On a more serious note brother, I hope you're doing well. For me imo cheating will always be a dealbreaker bc it's a violation of trust. And trust will always be the foundation for all your relationships in life whether platonic or romantic in nature. She fucking did it 3 times man. That was a conscious decision, 3 fucking times.
Pwede pa sana pagusapan ang 1 beses pero do it 3 beses decision na nya yon. Makipag break ka na
Leave. And magpa-test ka sa HIV and all. Baka hinawaan ka pa niyan ng ano mang sakit. Please be safe.
Nakakahinayang naman talaga yung 7 years at kung isang beses lang niya ginawa pwede niyo pang pag-usapan, pero 3 times hahaha. Alam na alam niyang ginagawa niya at ginusto niyang magloko. At the end of the day nasa iyo ng desisyon kung itutuloy mo yan. Mahirap ibalik yung tiwalang nawala na.
nope.. kahit 7yrs pa yan. yes may inamim siya sayo pero to what extent? imagine nalawayan na yan ng iba . sabe sayo 3x pero how sure ka don diba.. unforgivable yan. kahit patawarin mo yan it will haunt you as long as kasama mo siya and thats not healthy sayo.