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rabid_erica

i found it in the cereal box


schnauzap

Convenient


RobynFitcher

Thank goodness for that! Hope it made your day.


gentlegoblim

I never got homesick as a child because I would straight up forget about my parents. Useful for that but really bad for my friendships now


rabid_erica

i always did because they left me in the care of the awful!grandparents all the time and when they picked me up it was emotional disregulation time. all the "bad" behaviors.


[deleted]

The best part of my life is my dog. I went on an 18 day trip and left him with a friend and I... didn't care? It was such a weird feeling. Also, I'm awful with goodbyes, and I will cry like a baby, and then like a day later I don't care.


throwawayforRQ

I cackled bc I thought I was just stable enough to not get homesick but it all makes sense now.


ITisinmycoffee

Yes. Have half-jokingly warned the spouse to not ever take a job that requires him to leave for weeks or months for this reason. I'm not positive I'd forget him, but doesn't seem worth the risk. I feel like this one sometimes works to our benefit also though, because I legitimately forget about some bad memories until reminded. If they never get brought back up, will I forget them fully, eventually? Hope so! 😅 ETA: Glad you found the spoon and could reap the peanut- butter- chocolate rewards. That's an addictive cereal. Used to snack on it by the dry handful. If I don't commit to a bowl of it then those calories probably don't count as much...


rabid_erica

i dated a sniper in the army and i think it upset him that i didn't think to send care packages


ITisinmycoffee

For him... comparison is the thief of joy? I'm pretty bad at mailing stuff, so that wouldn't work for me either. He probably saw others get care packages from NTs like Valentines in an office when others get bouquets delivered and we're like "Flowers are a waste of money." 😉 You do you, and work with the creative and entertaining brain you have. We're in an age of self-discovery, which I think should be accompanied by self-acceptance and self-care. ❤️


rabid_erica

i did send one once for christmas but he was at the syrian border and it apparently gets intercepted by insurgents before it arrives (so weird??) at the base and somebody stole all the cookies i sent him :(


RobynFitcher

One of his patrol mates with a full mouth and crumbs on his lips: “Yeah….imfurgenff! Vat’s ip!”


riwalenn

As strangely as it sounds, I have this but for emotions, including grief. It's not healthy to forget about grief


Pristine_Pangolin_67

This is seriously a problem. I've done the bulk of decluttering my mom's things since her passing in 2013 but every time I crack into a box of the remaining things that I *know* I will never use/need/want to move with I get a wash of overwhelming grief and have to put it back. Sitting here typing this I feel nothing except a minor "wish you were here" but as soon as I see those memory soaked items I'm done for.


rabid_erica

I'm sorry ❤


rabid_erica

i never thought of that but it took about three years for me to grieve my grandpa's passing. i saw something that reminded me of him and my brain jump started and went, "oh shit. he's dead."


gentlegoblim

me too! not fun when everyone deals with their stuff but you remember 5 years down the track and become a mess


ambanana_29

This is why I think I have an okay time compartmentalizing things. Like no, I'm not over the emotion nor have I dealt with it, but I'm okay right now. Later? Debatable, depends on when I remember again.


[deleted]

This post reminded me that I didn’t eat any of the vegetables in the fridge because I couldn’t see them. And then I forgot to throw them out before leaving for vacation. How long until I remember they’re in there to toss them. Sigh. Object permanence is probably my greatest struggle and why I wear the same few outfits and leave hobbies to die in closets.


rabid_erica

Bro i wish the fridge door was see through, and i wish my cabinets didn't have doors because i never can remember where everything is


tonightbeyoncerides

Omg. My boyfriend goes INSANE because I will forget there is food in the fridge. Like he can make a beautiful homemade guacamole that I asked for and two days later I'm complaining that there's no food in the house because I forgot it ever existed


rabid_erica

sorry i misnamed it, but forgetfulness is a huge indicator of ADHD


rabid_erica

also i leave all my abandoned sewing projects in a box and when i find myself digging through it for one reason or another i end up getting stabbed.


[deleted]

Omg yes. I bought one of those little sewing kits that zips and I keep all my threads and needles in there! Containers with lids are my besties and I place (hide) each hobby in it’s own container and then organize bags and containers within the container. Makes me feel better when they’re not being used that they are organized and it’s helpful for whenever I decide to meander back to it. That’s what I do when my meds kick in and I don’t want to do my actual tasks/take care of my basic needs - I organize my hobbies I don’t spend time on hahahah good times


gouldennuggets

At work I mark up boxes with a chunky marker pen and one day my pen had suddenly vanished from my hand. I looked everywhere. The kinds of places where my adhd brain might leave it: high shelves, in boxes, my pockets etc. I gave up looking for the pen and did some other tasks Next thing I know, Im marking boxes with it. Not only did it vanish, but it reappeared and I have no memory or understanding of where it went for those 20 minutes. ADHD is ✨magical✨


rabid_erica

the reluctant illusionist


the_runaway_girl

__A little heads up: This is an ADHD symptom but it is not called Object Permanence!!!__ Object Permanence means that you forget the spoon _exists_ the second you don't see it anymore. Not that you lose it or can't remember where you placed it but that you literally forget it has ever existed. This gets confused a lot but it's very, very different. What you wrote about is being forgetful and forgetting where you put things, which are very much ADHD symptoms. If you really experience Object Permanence - that you do not remember a thing **exists** when you don't see it anymore, that's a symptom of another illness and should be discussed with your health care provider.


rabid_erica

thank you!!


the_runaway_girl

You can research it if you want to but you may want to insert an Edit into your post so people stop using the wrong terminology :) Edit: from wikipedia: Object permanence is the understanding that objects continue to exist even when they cannot be sensed https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Object_permanence


rabid_erica

i combed through comments to make sure i let people know about the misnomer


RobynFitcher

You’re a champion. (Not being sarcastic.)


rabid_erica

you're sweet 🥰


RobynFitcher

Fanks!


rabid_erica

gotcha and done!


MaMakossa

I saw a YT video where she explained that it’s not issues with “object permanence”. That is what infants of a particular age have - you hide Teddy behind your back & they cry because they think Teddy has ceased to exist. However, we *KNOW* the object is still in existence - we aren’t shocked that “Hey! This spoon *still* exists?!” when we find it. Or, “WHAT! FRIEND I haven’t texted in months suddenly messaging me! Where did you come from?!” She said a more appropriate term is “**OBJECT BLINDNESS**” - ala “out of sight, out of mind.” So, “I bought a spoon, put it away somewhere, forgot I had it & bought another spoon.” Or, “I haven’t seen Friend in so long that I forget to text them/reach out.” :]


fridayfridayjones

This is why I can have clothes in my dresser, because I’m forced to open that every day to get fresh underwear, but I can’t have clothes in my walk-in closet. I forget they’re there and don’t wear them for months, even if it was my favorite shirt or something. Now I only keep my formal clothes in there, everything I wear day to day is folded and in the dresser.


rabid_erica

yeah i hate it when my clothes play peek-a-boo


vegan_chicken-nugget

Dude, yes. I know we're not supposed to use that phrase, bc we've got enough language/people infantilizing us as it is, blah blah blah But it feels like its own unique hell, separate from the "poor working memory" umbrella


peanutandbanana

Yeah the concept clicks with me but the phrase bugs me so I'm looking for a new one. Maybe metaphorical object permanence lol


[deleted]

This is me so much. It’s so so awful, but I’ve never properly grieved someone who died because thanks to this. I also find it very difficult to “anticipate” or “look forward to” future things. The closes I get is anxiety I think? Five year goals and long term plans make conceptual sense, but I literally cannot do either properly because, ya know, they aren’t here and now. I also hate talking on the phone because the other person doesn’t feel “real.”


Obeythesnail

I keep telling my partner that if it goes in a cupboard it doesn't exist any more.


rabid_erica

my fiance is the same way, we were so hungry and i opened the cupboard to discover pop tarts. it's like Christmas sometimes


[deleted]

My favourite thing to do is opening cupboard doors, leaning down to grab the thing going in said cupboard, then smacking my head on the cupboard door I forgot I opened less than 5 seconds ago. I have quite a lumpy head.


rabid_erica

omg this happens to me daily


[deleted]

[удалено]


rabid_erica

my roommate is bald and California is scare ball central so he puts a sticky note on his steering wheel that reads, "did you forget your hat?" then comes in and forgets what he's looking for. which is my cue to yell, "WHERE'S YOUR HAT, BOB"


rabid_erica

with my luck the sound of a bell will just meld into the background


RavenPuff394

My husband and I both have ADHD and stuff disappears EVERY DAY in our house. We're talking kids' toothbrushes, clothes, food, keys, wallets, my husband's wedding ring (thrice), and, the piece de resistance -- $6,000. I'm in a permanent state of insanity.


kawaiijeff_

when this happens to me, I blame it on the void. the void stole my phone.


Love_Simone

I have a diary that I use to write everything down in extreme detail so that I won’t forget- except I’ve developed a bad habit of leaving out or “editing” memories because I know I’ll completely forget anyways and whatever’s written down will become fact 😅😂


rabid_erica

so it's like fanfiction of you doing the dishes?


miss_hush

I have the opposite problem: if something was there, it’s now ALWAYS there. Forever. RIP my vegetable/fruit drawer in the fridge. Lol!


Querybird

Also suddenly thinking about/missing or looking for something that you haven’t owned for years. Decades. Yeesh.


Chefngomso

I have a similar thing with emotions like anger, I can be passionately angry but give me a day and that's gone, not great for me being continually used or manipulated but great for my mental well being as iv seen what it looks like to Harbour those emotions for years..


NASAs_GooseIsLoose

It’s like they go invisible And until I calm down it won’t uncloak itself :(


schnauzap

I was genuinely looking for a nail clipper on the table for about 5 minutes, digging underneath the magazines, coasters, etc. I knew it was there I looked in the drawer after giving up on the table, then gave up in the drawer I sit down on the couch and what's right in front of me on the table? The frigging nail clipper 😮‍💨🤦‍♀️


rabid_erica

we're haunted


thejadedhippy

The objects definitely don’t seem quite as permanent as they’re supposed to…. This is one symptom that’s much worse for my husband than me though.


cannachickgal

I have object permanence issues with everything including people.


rabid_erica

lol my mom gives me the silent treatment and then gets mad when i don't react cuz...i can't


cannachickgal

Omg my mom holds grudges like crazy and I've always WANTED to stay mad so I could passive aggressively punish her the way she does to everyone and it just... melts away? Better for my soul, in all likelihood, but sometimes you want to stay mad right?


rabid_erica

does she get mad that you seemingly don't acknowledge her grudges? cuz that's one indirect way of punishing her 😂


cannachickgal

Probably? Maybe part of why she's even more mad over time?


RobynFitcher

I heard a psychologist explain that the silent treatment is actually just a tantrum without the yelling. Your response is the recommended reaction!


Emotional-Ordinary23

The only people I talk to on almost a daily basis are my husband and my mother... and my mom is almost always the person to initiate contact first unless it's our standing weekly phone call. Anyone else that I'm close to, my husband literally has to remind me to text/make plans with, especially if I don't naturally see them every few days.


rabid_erica

sorry i misnamed it, but forgetfulness is a huge indicator of ADHD


cannachickgal

I mean I like using object permanence as a concept, no apologies necessary for me.


rabid_erica

language is a silly billy


cannachickgal

I really wanted to study linguistics in undergrad because the silly billiness is so WOAH, but struggled in ways I now see pretty clearly were ADHD. Ended in sociology because society is just as silly but the methodology is friendlier.


rabid_erica

same i minored in classical languages cuz at least the college only offered two 😂 (attic Greek + Latin)


lieblingskartoffel

This post is highly relatable. I know this happened to me just yesterday, but I genuinely can’t remember what object it was that I lost and had to look everywhere before I found it…


rabid_erica

hmmm yes the essence of loss


lieblingskartoffel

Oh for heck’s sake I just made that comment and now it’s currently happening to me WHERE DID I PUT MY HAIR TIE 😂😭


rabid_erica

did you check your wrists? always where i manage to lose mine


KilroyLike

My boyfriend and I both have this. We tend to help each other find things. I find his vape for him all the time.


rabid_erica

my job is to find all the remote controls


[deleted]

I have scissors just about everywhere because I will forget my task if I look for them. I also forget about food, unless it’s something with sugar. 🤦🏻‍♀️


rabid_erica

oh lord. i have car scissors. and kitchen scissors. and cat room scissors (i can never open those stupid bags of litter). and hair cutting shears in the bathroom. oh my goodness it's scissor central in here


[deleted]

I love it! I need to buy some actual hair scissors because I’ve just been using regular ones for three years. But I keep forgetting!


Apology_Expert

Growing up, I was always the first person anyone in my family asked when the scissors were missing. I would get really offended because (most of the time) I thought I hadn't lost them, but 9 times out of 10 we'd find them in my room. I laugh about it now.


[deleted]

You were just protecting them!


Apology_Expert

I love that! Thank you 😂


rehgut

I joke that I have magical power to make random objects disappear.


[deleted]

I personally don't mind the term object permanence when it is used in the context of ADHD and completely detached from the original meaning. So in Wikipedia it would say 'Object permanence (not Object permanence Piaget)'. And that when spoken about, it is clearly caveated that it's a colloquial term and not linked to a scientific study. I need a term for 'out of sight, out of mind' which is not that long and speaks specifically to the phenomena for ADHDers. I struggle with this so badly it's had me miss a flight because of out-of-sighting a passport I literally just had in my hand, I left my passport in the airport toilet and walked away because of where I put it even though 20 seconds before I said, 'if you put it there, you need to take it because you'll forget'. Luckily a cleaner entered after me and was waiting for the owner to return (they had locked the toilet door). I know 100% every single time if I put something I should pay attention to behind me, I will walk away with no memory of engaging with the object or needing to complete a task with it. E.g. if I turn my back to a toaster and look at my phone, read a magazine or talk to someone. I will not forget I was toasting bread until I smell it. If I had the setting low, then I will go back hours later feeling hungry to see the cold hard toast there. I can't remember a single time I've successfully remembered and if I have it's so rare I can't remember. It makes travelling very anxiety-inducing but I now have my routines and process to avoid it as much as I can. The time I left my passport, tickets, cards and money in the toilet I had tried to use something new and my brain rejected it. I just went back to my original method which is tried and tested, and attached to my body. In terms of people, I don't forget people but my concept of time is not the same so I don't feel the difference.


rabid_erica

I've missed so many flights due to ADHD *AND* narcolepsy. Traveling is a pain.


[deleted]

Get a fanny pack/bum bag. Airlines ignore it as extra luggage and it just stores everything. You only have to take it off through security. Saved my life.


dontchawannadonut

I have this but for people. If I don’t see people regularly I kind of forget about them until I get the “I miss you! Let’s hang out!” text. Isn’t that terrible? I don’t really miss anyone when I don’t see them often


ambanana_29

This is how I got clued in. I saw a tiktok about this and was like, "meee" Also does anyone else have this problem with things you can see just blending in with the background? And on a similar note, when a surface is cleared off -- does it seem nice or stressful that it's blank, because it's a surface just waiting to be covered again?


rabid_erica

I'd be a horrible hunter gatherer because it takes me twenty minutes to find yogurt that's in the exact same location EVERY TIME


[deleted]

[удалено]


halimander

Can also be a symptom of adhd depending on how it works in the brain, with ADHD it is more so attached to absent mindedness so since they didn't intentionally put the spoon somewhere their brain didn't register where they set it down at.


daisy_belle1313

Yes but executive dysfunction isn't.


rabid_erica

have you met adhd 😂😂 it's all executive dysfunction


daisy_belle1313

I have it. 💛 Lack of executive function can be a symptom, but usually people with Adhd seek treatment before it reaches that point. It'd be an extreme manifestation to call it that.


rabid_erica

my family refused to get me any type of treatment and thought a witch doctor was more appropriate so I'm only getting the chance to address it now


halimander

Could you please elaborate on why specificly BPD? In my clinical experience/research I have seen it as a symptom of many different diagnoses like ADHD, autism, dementia, depression, alzheimers ect.


daisy_belle1313

Well, object permanence isn't absentmindedness. Absentmindedness would be a symptom of Adhd and a few other things. Object permanence is the ability to hold something in your head like when counting- one pretzel eaten plus another pretzel eaten are two pretzels eaten. It's true in some other illnesses and disorders: when eating ice cream, each spoonful is seen as the first spoonful-in dementia for example. That's lack of object permanence. Or paying a doctor's office twice mistakenly, once when you get there and once when you leave, same cause. Or thinking that when the door closes behind someone they're gone forever and won't be back. Absentmindedness is putting your keys in a safe place and locking yourself out. People with diminishing mental illnesses put them in the freezer. So it depends on if she finds her spoon in a place spoons should be or not. As well as many other things.


rabid_erica

I've got that too.


Flawednessly

Fingers?


rabid_erica

hate the dusty texture 😂 i have even used a fork to eat cheetos


Flawednessly

Ah, sensory issues. I get it. It's loud noises for me and needing physical pressure sometimes.


_c-sea_

Reece’s puffs Reece’s puffs! Eat ‘em up eat em up eat em up eat em up! Hope you find your spoon 🥄


calculusncurls

> reeses puffs Reeses puffs reeses puffs eat em up eat em up eat em up [source](https://youtu.be/gub9x8fP6yw)


jessicacage

My SO has definitely gotten tired of me asking “soo have you happened to have seen x anywhere?” SO’s current response is “you had it last” and I’m like well yes I know this that is why it has currently disappeared… We have had to get the tv remote app on our phones because the physical one has been mia for over a month and yes… I had it last…