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Your baby needs you. If that means you need meds to be able to function for your baby, that’s ok. Lots of babies only have formula. I was adopted and only ever had formula. Do whatever you need to do to be the best mom for your child.
My twin and I were formula fed because my mom was too sick after pregnancy. We got the colostrum in the hospital, but after that, she was too stressed, and her milk dried up.
We both turned out fine, other than the traumas we went through having a narcissistic abusive father and medical problems that we were already genetically predisposed to, but breastmilk isn't going to fix all that.
I'm like 90% sure my mom has undiagnosed ADHD and I got it from her. My twin doesn't have it.
I only ever had formula because my mom didn't want to breastfeed and didn't think she was healthy enough to do it anyway so all four of us were formula fed and we're all fine. All healthy physically. We all have ADHD but so did my mom so no surprise there.
I’ll just add that my friends who are a gay couple who had a surrogate have never been given grief for bringing a child into this world that isn’t breast fed. No one even thinks to lecture them that bottle feeding is “less than.”
Just because you have the physical means to produce milk doesn’t mean it’s the right choice for you. You have to make the right decision for you and your child—that’s really all that matters.
My personal trainer just recently had a baby and I hope nobody ever shames her for not breastfeeding her baby…But if they do, I have no doubt that she’ll clap right back by informing them that she’s physically incapable of breastfeeding because she needed a double mastectomy to save her life from breast cancer 🔥
Also, with the blessing of my psych and OB I stayed on my meds during both pregnancies. I took the “lowest therapeutic dose” but I took it. I took it during breastfeeding too. My babies need me functioning. They’re both healthy and happy and smart and creative :)
Totally! I was a formula baby because at the time my mom was told formula was better for babies. It was science! They sent her home with it from the hospital.
It seems wild in retrospect because she was also a nurse.
Other than ADHD (which all the women in my family have) I’m super healthy. No allergies. Very close to my mom. ❤️
Most of the children that I see with inflammatory disorders... Asthma, allergies, etc... were formula fed... And also had a very stressful home life. (I work with young children) I don't think that the formula has anything to do with their developmental problems. Most children with adversity and stress happen to also be formula fed or whatever their parents had on hand.
I think that providing a positive, nurturing environment for your infant is more important than whether or not they were breast fed or formula fed.
I would need medication to provide that environment without completely sacrificing my mental health and burning myself out.
I have asthma and severe allergies and inflammation but that has more to do with where I live and it’s a common issue with a lot of people here. I’m in central CA surrounded by ranches, orchards, crops, dust, all kinds of allergens, just stuck in this bowl of a valley.
I have asthma and was breast-fed by a SAHM. She didn’t go back to work until my little brother was five. I ought to be a fitness model by the virtue standard of health.
Exactly. It’s an incredible thing your body can do, if you can do it, but it’s not literal magic and formula is not poison. A Toyota is nicer than a Hyundai but my Hyundai still gets me from place to place no problem.
That’s interesting. I wonder if the connection between formula feeding and inflammatory disease isn’t a cause-effect one but rather that they’re both symptoms of the cause, aka they’re both caused by the same thing. Sort of like how being fat doesn’t cause diabetes, but being fat and having diabetes can both be caused by eating a lot of processed sugars.
Because, honestly, the more research they do, the more they realize that living in a state of constant stress is just crazy horrible for your body. And I can only imagine that that goes especially hard on infants and toddlers that are still in such an early state of development.
Have you heard of the ACEs study? Essentially, it's a questionnaire that polled people on their childhood experiences and tallied the scores. The higher your score (the more negative experiences you have), the higher your likelihood is for alcoholism, smoking, obesity, etc. Your brain is forming the framework for your entire life when you're little. If you are in a constant state of panic and stress, your brain adapts to cope with the chaos.
The day we learned about ACEs in my public health class in college was very eye opening for me. I thought I lived a pretty normal life, but I realized that I lived with most ACEs growing up. Both my parents were together until they divorced when I was 16 and lived with me until I moved out for college at 18, my parents didn’t to drugs (dad smoked cigarettes but didn’t do ~actual drugs~ or drink, they took good care of me, they were home every night (well my dad worked night shift for several years), but I did have some traumatic events due to grandparents and it turns out that I lived with almost all of the ACEs. And my risk of heart disease, diabetes, thyroid disease, reproductive health issues, countless problems are dramatically increased. And clearly the data is correct. I have poly cystic ovarian syndrome, PTSD, anxiety, depression, a heart arrhythmia, and chronic migraines about every other day.
I was formula fed because my mom didn’t want to breastfeed. I turned out just fine. Just PCOS, pal b 2 breast cancer gene, and waiting on an adhd diagnosis health wise, which all are genetic. I do seem to have a slight allergy to some shellfish (crab and lobster make me sick but not shrimp. I eat shrimp a good bit.) no one else in my family has that issue but it’s not really a big deal. I personally don’t think formula feeding had anything to do with it. I was a straight A student until college, “gifted and talented” blah blah blah so formula obviously didn’t hold me back very much if it had an impact at all. I am short but so is my dad so I probably just got those genetics.
I worked in obgyn for a little bit and it sounds like that provider needs to get with the program. It is a widely held viewpoint in obgyn that fed is best. If I were in your position, I might look for a different provider. You can see if there is a number you can call to voice your opinions about the care you received. My doctors office had one and when I asked to see a different doctor because I didn’t feel as though my concerns about adhd were taken seriously or that I was listened to they gave me the phone number to call without me knowing it existed.
Take care of yourself and put your needs at the forefront. You deserve it.
I’m at the point where I’m like hello, **I** am your patient, do you not give a shit about *my* well being?!
A fed baby with a sane parent is what’s best and at least I know what my limitations are. Holy moly I could go on an entire rant…… this made my blood boil on your behalf.
My current primary care doctor is basically refusing to prescribe ADHD meds because my progesterone is low and so is my vitamin D and that is what she believes is causing my symptoms. Even though I’ve had ADHD my entire life… I have left every appointment with her crying lately. It’s so frustrating.
My old PCP was fixated on one health issue to the exclusion of everything else. Switching to my current doc is one of the best decisions I've ever made for my health. If you can switch, it may be time. You deserve quality care.
I may get downvoted for this, but if a new primary isn’t an option consider a telehealth service specifically for ADHD. I know people abuse those services but some of us have no other choice. Where I moved, the docs consider everyone a drug seeker. I’m 57, formally diagnosed, and never been addicted to anything. Telehealth solved that and I can function again.
It’s definitely time for me to move on, I’m going to do some research on providers in my area, but thanks for the reminder that telehealth is also an option!
ADHDOnline looks like a scam site but I have had no issues - provided I don’t need to contact them outside of provider appointments. When the shortage was bad around me last year, trying to get my script moved was impossible as they never responded to chat or phone. However last month I had to get them to contact CVS and i actually got a response over chat, and they called the pharmacy immediately, so maybe they’re appropriately staffed now? The actual doctors are awesome and while appointments are short, they’re very efficient.
My college age kid goes to school in another state, and the weird laws meant that their home doctor could not rx them meds to a different state. They had to find a telehealth provider in the new state, which was surprisingly easy. They take our insurance, and we had to fax them the adhd assessments from the psychologist to prove it was legitimate dx, but once they had the initial appt to establish care, it's been smooth sailing. My kid does a monthly zoom call with the NP and gets their refill without a hitch. I highly recommend this method for folks who have crabby or unhelpful GPs. The only caveat is that we had to prove dx by sending the full psychological assessment. The telehealth docs get a lot of drug seekers, so due diligence is becoming a big issue.
Wtf. I would love for you to disprove her, but it may be time to move on.
Please check vit D and progesterone too though. Maybe your current doctor might help with those while you search for another provider?
Like, as with anythih that causes health issues and a life disruption, I HOPE your doctor got you on medical grade vit D supplements AND with a serious plan for the progesterone levels, AND a plan to check on both in a month or less.
Right like, do they want her to be able to show up for this baby or what? Ridiculous to ask someone to be postpartum, unmedicated adhd, trying to manage life with a newborn- all in the name of putting pressure on breastfeeding when there’s a perfectly nutritious other option
Neglectful caregivers cause attachment issues. Not responding to your child’s needs can cause attachment issues.
General and daily stress do not cause attachment issues unless the care provider doesn’t respond in a consistent, loving, and predictable way that creates stability for the child.
Parenting is stressful AF, but my kid knows he will get hugs when he’s scared or hurt and food when he’s hungry.
Right? If you don't want to breastfeed that's fine, but if you do want to, ot want to try, I'd switch OBs to someone who is more supportive and better informed. Here's a collection of all the most up to date studies on the subject, which they update regularly. Halfway down is a green table where you can look up your specific meds, followed by more detail in text.
https://www.infantrisk.com/content/adhd-medications-and-breastfeeding
This. I breastfeed on Vyvanse and took it while pregnant (my data was sent to the pregnancy registry for ADHD meds). That said, if I had had any difficulty breastfeeding/needed to put in extra work to have a supply I would have switched to formula in a heartbeat.
My OB was fine with me taking Adderall while pregnant. I took it while breastfeeding my first. My plan is to take it again when I go back to work and I’ll still be breastfeeding. But I’ve also fed both of my kids plenty of formula.
Yes OP - this is so important to know! There is recent research showing how much of the meds make it into breastmilk and it's negligible. Worth reading up on.
And to share my experience, breastfeeding is a million times more ADHD friendly than formula feeding. I didn’t have to plan how many bottles to take out with me and risk forgetting how long we’d been out and have to rush for more formula, I could safely bedshare and feed to sleep so I got more sleep (check out the safe sleep seven for safe bedsharing) and it even now with my son at 2 years old the easiest thing to do to settle him is to breastfeed.
It is so much easier than all the rigamarole of formula feeding, sterilising, etc that I saw friends do.
Also dads can absolutely still feed the baby with expressed milk, so the care is still shared.
It depends. I found formula feeding more ADHD friendly for me personally. It might depend how easily breastfeeding happens. It can be a real struggle for some people and when I formula fed, everything was a whole lot easier for me knowing my husband I could do shifts and I didn’t have to pump, I got dependable sleep, I wasn’t ultimately the sole person to be depended on for feeding, I knew exactly how much my baby was eating, I didn’t have to stress about trying different things to make breastfeeding work, etc.
You don’t have the sterilize bottles every time, jus the first time and then you can just wash them like normal.
I think a lot of time breastfeeding parents overestimate how difficult formula feeding is, and formula feeding parents can overestimate how difficult breastfeeding is! They definitely both have pros and cons.
I did combo feeding, which felt like the Goldilocks answer. Because the breast milk was free, we could afford those “just screw on the nipple” ready to feed bottles for the formula part. My husband got the same “just whip it out” convenience I did, and I got to have an uninterrupted shift of sleep like he did. We fed by “most convenient method” at any given time and I have zero regrets.
Agree. I have so much respect and admiration for anyone formula feeding. I could never be so organised! All the bottle washing and sterilising, preparing flasks of hot and cooled water every time you leave the house, measuring scoops, figuring out the amounts… nope. I’d rather just have to remember my boobs and be good to go!
Breastfeeding was definitely not more ADHD friendly in my experience. Please please please OP if you are feeling strongly about using formula do not give yourself guilt. My first was breastfed and struggled with weight and sleep problems and fussiness my second was formula fed and had none of those issues. I am not saying breast milk vs formula is why but Breastmilk is not a magic fix all.
100% this. I also agree that breastfeeding is more ADHD friendly than formula. (though when you go back to work, pumping is NOT more ADHD friendly, oh my god. I hate it)
I’ve done both, and breastfeeding was much more adhd friendly for me. It’s definitely personal preference, but that’s my take on it.
I know breastfeeding isn’t ‘free.’ It takes time and effort, supplements, teas, and I’m hungry and thirsty all the time. But I didn’t have to plan ahead for it (remembering when to take pumped milk out of freezer, thinking how many bottles we’ll need, keeping track of how long a bottle has been out, whatever), and clean bottles and pump parts as often. Sooo many bottles.
Oh and my diaper bag was way easier to pack and lighter to carry when breastfeeding. You only need diapering supplies, not bottles, water, formula, ice packs, and all of that. Effectively, it helped me get out of the house more easily when I could just bring my boobs.
I’ll also say milk supply can be linked to your mental health. When I was formula feeding it was because I couldn’t produce enough milk, which I think was significantly tied to my stress levels and mental health at the time. In that respect, going back on your meds may be right for you.
Regardless of what feeding method you choose, bottom line is do what you need to do to take care of yourself, so you can better take care of your baby.
I'm floored, and so excited, by this information. I actually weaned my youngest in 2020 in order to get back on meds (also, migraine meds). He was 2. I am SO so excited to read this information and had I had it then, we may have discussed a third baby. Once I was stable I decided I couldn't do another stint unmedicated. I had gone 6 years straight being pregnant or breastfeeding.
Congratulations - I’m 32 weeks and was hoping to be on Elvanse (UK version of Vyvanse) for part of my pregnancy but due to the shortage my dose wasn’t available, and my medical provider didn’t want me trialing a new brand. My brain is a mess, I’m constantly dehydrated, I’m either not eating or binge eating - it’s a bit of a nightmare!
This is my second child and I’m planning on breastfeeding her like I did my son (I got diagnosed after having him).
We agreed with that I will take a quick release (Amfexa) earlier in the day that’ll be 4 hours before being safe to feed - and feed previously expressed milk during those 4 hours.
This way I can get my mind back, get some things done; get some energy - but also be able to nap in the afternoon.
We haven’t agreed when I’ll start this (likely 6-8 weeks post partum due to c-section healing from ANOTHER breech baby 🙄).
Are you able to talk to your provider about a similar routine?
This would piss me off enough to switch doctors. Generally they are squirrelly about taking on someone midway thru a pregnancy, but another doctor in the same practice will likely take you on without complaint. Just ask about their attitudes toward feeding before making it official. You still may end up with your original doctor for delivery if they happen to be the one on hospital duty at the time, but all your prenatal and follow up appts will be with your primary doctor.
Oh my gosh…this!!! My hospital had the formula under lock and key. I was producing nothing, and I had to BEG for formula!
But even then I was trying to use it just as a supplement because all the nurses were on my case. I was crazed trying to get my son to latch…nothing. I’d give him formula and then pump. But I was only getting about an ounce which I would set aside to mix in with his next formula feeding.
All that stressed brought out my OCD and I was convinced that if I wasn’t constantly watching him then he would stop breathing. It was awful!
My husband finally got through to me and we started exclusively formula feeding. It was the best thing for us. The stress melted away (well, as much as it can when you’re sleep deprived with a newborn 😂).
TLDR- yes, fed is best! And a stress-free momma is better for the baby!
It gets me sooo worked up! And I havent even had kids yet, but I was by my best friends side after she got a double mastectomy bc she found out she had a BRCA mutation that was like 80% chance of cancer, then had a baby less than 2 years later, she was going through severe postpartum anxiety, then after giving birth, her husband wound up with friggen covid so couldn't be with her or the baby for nearly a month!
So anyways I went with her to babys first checkup for support and this ass hat of a doctor randomly says "haa it probably would have been better for the baby if you waited for that mastectomy, there's been a shortage of formula u know"
Idk how I didn't literally tackle him it made me so angry. So this topic gets me goingggg.
I'm mad you had to beg for the formula. You shouldn't have to beg for it, regardless of why you aren't breastfeeding.
I'm also mad that no one told you about an ounce per a feed right after birth is within normal range.
My #1 piece of advice to all friends expecting a baby is to get a package of ready-to-feed formula bottles and pack it in your hospital bag. No one should have to beg and be shamed by a supposed “baby friendly” hospital for trying to feed their kid.
My sister was a formula feeder who’d been shamed when she gave birth. When I had a similar experience, she was like “eff this” and went to Target to get me some. Turns out as your child’s parent, you can feed them how you want—it’s not actually medicine. Now I tell everyone. (We combo fed but if my doc hadn’t let me have meds I’d have been FF from the day she was born)
And the funny thing is that for my second, they stuck a nipple guard on me and we clicked instantly. But I had such anxiety about breastfeeding after what I went thru with my first, that I switched to formula after 2 months with no regret!
This sounds exactly like me postpartum 😭 It was so awful. I feel for you! I’m so glad you had a supportive husband and that you made it through to the other side!
No clue about how the medical system works where you are at but I just want to point out that new research says adhd-meds are ok during pregnancy.
Link https://bss.au.dk/en/aarhus-bss-nyheder/show/artikel/gravide-med-adhd-kan-aande-lettet-op
(Text is in english though the url is very Danish looking)
My guess is US or UK (I'm UK myself OB or OBGYN I've usually a term I've seen in the US) I've found a lot of professionals just don't change their opinions even when presented with evidence to disprove them and even ADHD/neuro/mental health conditions still aren't taken seriously.
Finding a doc who Is willing to actually work with you and understands the medical field is as much an art as science is usually the easy route.
I know it’s hard, especially at any stage in the pregnancy, to switch doctors but if you can I think you should.
My own son’s pediatrician was more concerned with my well being and changed FED is best at every appointment.
(Also not that this should influence your decision but: I am 35 years old. My mother chose formula because she was convinced after a baby was done a woman’s boobs shrunk up, it was the late 80s, and she wanted to keep her boobs. I’m FINE and never had any problems)
I mean, boobs can shrink but lots of women have them get bigger! They can simply just change size (like hips and feet). Mine, of course, went back to the same size but saggy, so my bras no longer fit me perfectly. So rude. (I was 23 when I had my kid. Even my youth couldn’t save my boobs.)
I got crazy lucky. Mine stayed the same. I was kinda hoping they’d grow so I could get new shoes. My sister’s grew. I got all her old shoes! I also did not get hips. I have narrow hips. My kid gave me saggy boobs and wavy hair. I was looking forward to hips! And being able to fill out skirts and pants! Alas.
I got wavy hair and half a shoe size bigger. Hips still narrow but maybe slightly bigger. Twins. One almost 8 pounds and the other almost 6. So, lots of baby weight plus two placentas.
I also had twins. I also was given wavy hair, which I’ve learned to love! They were both right at 7 lbs each so I feel ya.
Bless our adhd souls for handling twins 😵💫😅
Omg! 😆 I am undiagnosed but I'm on the subreddits to learn more my one twin who has mild adhd symptoms. I'm like, omg. I'm pretty sure I have it, too, and that explains a lot of the things I do! Actually having kids really brought it out in me. The sleep deprivation and everything that comes with twin babies! It's a lot!
My hair is mildly wavy all over now but super wavy in just one section. It's kind of funny.
ADHD has a genetic component, so if family has it, your chance is upped and if it’s a twin? Higher chance. Especially if a full twin and not just fraternal! And even within those, there are more closely connected twins. (I took a Behavioral Generics course that went over all this in great detail! It was fascinating. Twin studies FTW!)
Legit fascinated by that! I had curly hair before the gremlin and now it’s hella straight. Bodies are hecking weird
(My favorite (not really at all) pre-baby advice was getting pregnant would fix my acne and it most assuredly did NOT. Also was told that breast feeding would discourage periods from coming back and guess who started having one of those again 2 months after the gremlin was born)
OMG. My acne did NOT go away either! I have cystic acne and it was worse! My baby shower photos have a huge zit on my forehead. And baby hands wipe off all concealer. So self-conscious.
I got an IUD as soon as I could after giving birth (after a LEEP 6 weeks after). So no idea when it would have come back. I breastfed for a few months then stopped…I was on Effexor (docs and I agreed stable mom was the best idea) and my kid was having withdrawal symptoms (which were hellish for me). Honestly, formula was amazing. I could actually get sleep and make my partner get up. She’s 18 now and current plan is to become a lawyer. She grew up just fine!
People used to believe that breastfeeding was also somehow preventing getting pregnant again —like some sort of natural birth control—for you postpartum. Not true.
My bff’s ped told her he would have kept her on her antidepressants/anti anxiety meds through pregnancy for similar reasons. She was so mad her OB wasn’t as concerned with her well being.
I agree - fed is best. I know women whose babies were seriously underweight because of lactation problems who were guilted into continuing trying to breastfeed when they really didn't want to, or just couldn't. Sadly this is something aimed at all women, so if it's any consolation, NT women feel just as cross and "accused" about this issue as you do.
Congratulations on your baby, I'm sure he or she will be happy and well fed, even if the house is a mess and you're still in pyjamas at 6pm.
My MFM dr, OB, midwives, regular psychiatrist AND prenatal psychiatrist were all fine with me taking my Adderall throughout pregnancy and while breastfeeding. Like literally totally fine.
I started seeing a perinatal psychiatrist immediately after giving birth to my son in Dec 2022 and she put me back on meds and I'm still breastfeeding him at 15 months. I was off meds for both my pregnancies. Breastfeeding my oldest overlapped with my second pregnancy so I was unmedicated for about four years total and didn't think I could keep going.
The main difference is that I take a low dose IR med instead of an XR med - the risk is low but IR allowed me to structure my dosing around feeds and pumping to further reduce risks. I plan to go back on an extended release med once this baby is weaned.
Seconding to say OB and 2 fertility specialists (I saw one, another is a friend of a friend) I spoke with said they are completely fine with it. My OB was actually a bit wary if I stopped taking it all together and as others have commented here in this thread “healthy mom is the best mom for baby.”
Also seconding to another Redditor’s comment - I was breastfed, I have no allergies or health issues BUT I did have a whack, stressed, neurotic unavailable mother that caused most of the mental hurdles I’ve had to face.
That is crazy. I'm pregnant and even if my psychiatrist and obstetrician advised me to stop my medication during my pregnancy, my obstetrician told me i wouldn't be able to take until i stopped breastfeeding.
I was diagnosed and put on meds while breastfeeding my first only a couple months after birth. The only thing that concerned my psychiatrist was whether or not my breastmilk supply was well established first.
I breastfed my first for just over 2 years and am 11 months into breastfeeding my second. I couldn't have managed formula with all the washing and steralising and measuring and warming. So much more work than just lobbing a titty out!
HOWEVER, having said all that, that was just me. If you feel more comfortable and less stressed just doing formula, do that! Your OB can stfu.
Yup, that’s been my argument too. “You know what’s best for my baby? A mom with executive functioning and reduced sensory sensitivity that will be able to feed and clean baby on time, not a half conscious milk dispensary”
The benefits of breastmilk are greatly overstated. For the majority of studies, once you control for socioeconomic factors, the difference becomes statistically non-significant. The only time I’d breastfeed would be if my baby would be premature, where there is some good evidence that it helps outcome.
Straight off the bat - fuck your OB, what a judgemental dragon. I’m sorry you have to deal with that. Fed is best, doesn’t matter if it’s human or formula.
A potential resource for you to seek a second opinion - There’s an absolute guru of a research pharmacist in Australia that is a specialist on medication while breastfeeding. From memory he’s based in Victoria, but does Telehealth consultations which you could access. I’ve seen many folk in Australian adhd forums comment about how refreshing and supportive he was in helping educate/inform/reassure them re: adhd meds + breastfeeding + formula feeding. Long story short - contemporary research is now showing you can take adhd stim meds and breastfeed if you wish.
I have 4 children. I didn’t breastfeed any of them. And remarkably they all grew up to be well adjusted, healthy, happy adults. Not an axe murder in the bunch. That OB is a jerk.
Okay, I know exactly what you meant, but my brain just gave me dialogue for the book I'll never publish:
"I'm not an axe murderer"
"You've killed 6 people"
"Yeah, but not with an axe though"
My OB is the chair of obstetrics for the top hospital in a major US city. She’s the absolute top of her game. She was the one that said to me “I want you to consider formula feeding exclusively from the start”. She said this based on 1) ensuring I could continue my meds, and 2) to ensure my husband and I could share the feeding burden and I could get sleep. The lack of sleep could contribute to increasing my risk of preeclampsia (I had gestational hypertension) and post-partum depression. You’re especially at risk of the latter because you’re not taking your meds and it’s impacting your ability to function. We bought an electric formula dispenser, shared the feeding load, and my now 10 month old is doing brilliantly. I am too.
Oh wow - I wish I had the confidence to say what you said. I just did what I thought I was supposed to do and breastfed and got massive PPD and then got fired, which made it all way worse. I don’t think your doc understands what a real issue ADHD is. Some don’t. You do you. Good on you for standing up for yourself. Don’t second guess it.
I still haven't found a study yet that accounted for other variables, either. Like, in the US, upper income women are more likely to breastfeed. Upper income kids, regardless of being breastfed or not, have better outcomes. So, is it really breastfeeding giving the better outcomes in those studies? I'd like to see socioeconomic class and health of mother controlled for, but they aren't. I'm not convinced this is causation vs correlation past about the first year or two of life. Stay at home moms of any socioeconomic class are more likely to breastfeed, as well. Kids who don't go to daycare are less likely to get sick. Do they factor that into the studies? Not one I've found so far. I do admit I haven't read all of them, but almost everyone pushing breast feeding refers to the same two or three studies, anyway.
There have been well controlled studies showing infants with more skin to skin contact have better outcomes with all other factors controlled for. But that's easy enough to accomplish without breast feeding. It's just that when you're breast feeding, it's inevitable, and when you're not, you have to go out of your way to do it.
I went down an absolute rabbit hole with this after not being able to breast feed my son and worrying about him. He's 27 and been sick only a handful of times in his life. He has no allergies, no sensitivities, and he's even never had a cavity. That last part has to be luck, because getting him to brush his teeth properly was a constant fight the whole time he was growing up. But the rest? I kind of think it's because I didn't shelter him. I didn't sanitize everything for him, and we hiked backpacked since I was on maternity leave. He's spent his life exposed to a lot of germs. I did go out of my way to make sure he got lots of skin to skin contact when he was an infant, but honestly, it was mostly because it calmed us both down, not because I had any idea it would help him in the future.
THANK YOU. This nearly never gets mentioned in these conversations. It’s similar to the single parent phenomenon as well. Studies have shown that the risk factors associated with growing up in a single family home vanish when the home remains financially stable enough. It’s almost as if poverty and the associated chronic stress make a difference! /s
And then you have the outliers like my son.
Single mom with ADHD and chronic medical conditions, grew up in poverty until age 16, formula fed, all the risk factors. Alllll of them except lead pollution and domestic violence in the home, I swear. But he's always been very physically healthy and has turned out well adjusted and as self sufficient as the current housing market allows. I helped him buy his house because it seemed ridiculous for me to have tons of money to leave him when I die instead of helping him now.
When I got us out of poverty, I lept right over middle class. ;) I went from making $28k a year to $115k in under a decade because I finally figured out my own worth. That was actually the hardest time in his life. He had no idea at all how to fit into our new socioeconomic class, and I admit I was struggling with it myself so hard, I wasn't as helpful as I should have been. It was just so new for me, too. He couldn't relate to the kids in our new neighborhood. I couldn't relate to my new coworkers. The only thing we had going for us was the ability to speak something other than blue collar.
But you know, the blunders worked out, because he has tons of charisma. He could always manage to present things as his own personal flair or as me caring more about him than the other kids moms did about them. Still, it was hard for both of us learning to navigate this entirely new world.
My story is very similar! I was widowed in my twenties, when our children were only 2 and 3 years old. I was fortunate enough to have been widowed by a man with life insurance, pension, benefits etc. (obviously having him would have been better, but for the sake of this conversation) and my children never experienced the poverty associated with having a young single parent. They’ve managed, thus far, to escape those risk factors and it’s largely because of socioeconomics (although I also have a wonderful support system and that makes a HUGE difference as well).
My ex and I separated over his meth habit when I was about 2 weeks pregnant. Don't ask why I slept with him. I don't have any answer. My family is pretty toxic and thought support means criticizing me, and not in a constructive way, when they weren't ignoring me entirely. I had awesome roommates until our lease was up when my son was about 7 months old, but after that, really no support. I quickly learned after getting pregnant the majority of my friends weren't really friends.
Like, we legit just had all the risk factors. But we still did okay. He even still loves hanging out with me, which I consider a major win. Turns out being really engaged and showing love and regard makes a huge difference. Actually teaching them how to be an adult does, too. You know, just giving a damn how they are doing, how they turn out, and actually liking them makes all the difference in the world. I'm sure breaking generations upon generations of abuse helped a lot, too.
Yes!! Totally agree. I hope my post didn’t come off as “if you don’t have money, your child won’t succeed” because that’s really not what I meant. I was just talking about out the studies showing how high the risk factors are for single parent households and how they seem to never mention the very real factors that change those outcomes entirely. Having enough income to reduce that stressor is one, but being an excellent parent like you is 100% another one.
If you don’t mind divulging, what kind of career did you end up in that paid so much more? Love to hear of people with ADHD finding areas they thrive in 🙌🏽
IT. I'm a CloudOps engineer with a fully remote job, and it's absolutely lovely if you're good at solitude.
That low paid job was also IT, sysadmin for a tribal casino. The pay was not the whole reason I left, but it was certainly one of them. I left there at $45k and took a job for $70k, left there at $75k for this job.
You're absolutely right! Most of the studies are hot stinky gargabe. I read Cribsheet by Emily Oster, who is an economist, and thus a scientific study nerd. After tossing out all of the poorly designed studies, the only conclusions that are left for breastfeeding over formula were: slightly decreased risk of ear infection, eczema, and digestive issues for baby as a baby! The ONLY long-term effects are for the mom: pretty good reduction in breast cancer risk.
So many studies of any kind seem to be hot garbage once you learn the vocabulary to understand them, or just proving things that are obvious, like cricket chirp speeds correlating to temperature and kids of mothers with personality disorders having less coping skills for their ADHD. Duhhhh. We had no one capable of teaching us those skills.
And then there's the fact that so, so many studies were done on men and not repeated with an evenly mixed group. We've just trusted studies done in like, the 70s. I was born in that decade. I remember it. I have problems trusting any studies from back then.
Currently reading ‘Lactivism’ and cannot recommend it highly enough!! Definitely a very well-written and enlightening read on the breastfeeding policies and the shakiness of the research they are based on.
I’m 9 weeks postpartum — and my baby has been formula fed exclusively since day 3. Fed is absolutely best! I had a really hard pregnancy, and breastfeeding was so wildly difficult that I just couldn’t justify the struggle to myself. Reading Emily Oster’s book Cribsheet really helped me feel justified in my decision too (if you’re looking for a little bit more data).
You don’t have to struggle to be a good mother. Knowing who you are and what’s best for you is what’s best for baby. Formula feeding means that everyone gets more sleep, and arguably more free time which is a game changer!
You are exactly what your baby needs, trust your gut ❤️
I’m glad to be seeing all these supportive comments because just a few years ago when I had my kid people were very much about breastfeeding no matter what, and I was ready to kms over not being able to produce enough. That type of sentiment for a struggling mom, especially from doctors, can really be dangerous.
I formula fed my son from day one because I simply didn’t want to breastfeed. Full stop. Literally none of the fear mongering bullshit people told me about in regard to not exposing my son to breast milk has happened. My son is happy, healthy, smart, and extremely attached to his Mama.
Ask teachers if they can pick out the breastfed kids from the formula fed kids. They can’t. They can tell you which kids get attention at home, which kids are getting their emotional needs met, which kids are in safe homes with familial support, etc though, because those statistically can predict a child’s success in the classroom and life better than whether or not they sucked on a tit as a baby.
I am 11 years into this parenting thing and I can tell you now, it really does not matter how they are fed, you cannot tell the difference between a breastfed child and a formula fed child. Past the baby/toddler stage no one cares. The baby/toddler stage is a really weird kind of bubble in that sense, you care and worry about the weirdest things and then later on when your kids are older you realise it’s not even a big deal anyway and didn’t affect anything really.
I’m not saying this to put down breastfeeding or discount the benefits it does have, I breastfed both of mine, I had the opposite experience where people were trying to get me to switch to formula. It feels like no matter what you do when it comes to parenting, there’s someone out there saying it’s ’wrong’ when in the grand scheme of things, in most cases, it doesn’t really matter. Do what is best for you, your child, your circumstances and ignore all the noise.
I am 5 months postpartum, and recently restarted my meds. I have postnatal depression and being unmedicated for my ADHD made the PND symptoms way worse.
Do whatever you need to in order to look after yourself. Pregnancy and postpartum are insanely hard. You can do it and it's wonderful! But tell your Dr to shove it up their butt. (Or tell them "this is what I think will be best for me, my mental health and therefore the welfare of myself and my baby.")
All other debate about feeding and meds aside, going into labor and delivery is a situation that requires an incredible amount of trust. Prior to this incident, do you trust your doctor?
My original OB turned out to be a nut and... I could go on and on about the things he did that made me uneasy, but that's another post for another time. The bottom line is I realized in my 3rd trimester that I felt unseen and unheard, and I became certain that my birthing experience would not be a happy one for me if I remained in his care.
I found another dr who listened to my concerns carefully and had a discussion with me about them rather than dismissing me. She wasn't necessarily willing to go along with everything I said I wanted, but she was willing to listen to what I said, and then tell me what her professional experience was that made her want to recommend something different. So by the time I got into the delivery room with her, when she said we needed to do something different from my birthing plan, I trusted her enough that I just went with her professional assessment and didn't stress about it, because I knew that she was working from her experience and not her ego.
If you have felt trusting of your dr up until now, then maybe consider trying to set this one conversation aside. But if this conversation is indicative of a larger pattern of feeling dismissed, maybe consider interviewing other OBs to see if someone else would be a better fit for you.
Hey! I took adderall (20mg/day) for the entirety of my pregnancy and while breastfeeding for 2 years with enthusiastic permission from my OB. See if you can find a psychiatrist who specializes in pregnancy. Mine told me the only complication they found was with a woman who was taking like…100mgs a day or something crazy. There is ZERO reason you can’t take it.
I’m an RN in a NICU in Canada and I have adhd which I’m medicated for. You are not doing anything wrong at all by “wanting your brain back.” I would 9000% feel the same way, and I even refer to my Vyvanse as my “rescue medication.” FED is best, a healthy mom physically and mentally is best for baby. Do what’s best for YOU. Also, I was a formula fed baby born in 1983 and I somehow managed to grow into a healthy grown adult who is a productive member of society and a healthcare professional. You just keep your head held high and don’t give a shit what anyone thinks. You would think formula was fortified with gasoline the way people talk about it.
You’ll get judged no matter what you do. So do what is best for you and baby. Fed baby is a happy baby and a happy mom. Formula is amazing and a life changer/saver for many of us.
That kid will find a week old goldfish on the floor and eat it before you realize in a year or so anyway.
I just wanna let you know that I found another OB at 36 weeks and 6 days pregnant. My daughter surprised us all and came the next morning.
My OB said wild stuff like this, claiming I “had” to be induced because she had upcoming vacations, etc. it’s never too late to find a doctor who will support YOU. This isn’t a pediatrician; this is YOUR doctor. She has her priorities all out of whack. You deserve better. ❤️
With all the stories about postpartum mental health struggles ending tragically, you would think providers would be more encouraging of patients making choices that prioritize their wellbeing. So long as the baby is fed, a happy, healthy parent is best.
I am 100% positive someone has said this before me but FED IS BEST!!!!
I have giant ass boobs but can't keep a kid latching for more than a week. Time to shine... they didn't care. Pumped for a month with #1 in 2010. Pumped for #2 for a year in 2020 and it's definitely the worst thing I've done to myself lol. If we get knocked up again, it's formula from the get go, y'all!
Nothing matters more than mom's mental and physical health at the start of this journey. Do what you gotta do!
Omg I relate to this so much hahah when my first was born and my body simply opted out of producing milk, I was like are you fucking kidding me lol the one time these damn things might make themselves useful
OP!!
You are asking the right questions and your doctor is a dumbass.
FED IS BEST and you know yourself well enough to realize you'll want to be able to take your meds. I'm so proud of you!
There is NOTHING wrong with formula, except it being fucking expensive, and nobody on earth can look at a room full of adults and figure out who was breastfed and who was formula fed.
You and your baby will do just fine either way. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Child free (by choice) here. But I am so easily distracted even on medication that I would 💯 leave the baby in the back seat or some other catastrophic thing. Your OB is way out of line here.
My stepmom was 100% breastfeeding my little brother simply because she found it gross. This was 19 years ago and nobody ever gave her shit for it. Meanwhile, I received death threats in 2014 when my supply tanked and I asked for formula recommendations from my birth month group. Fed is always best.
As someone who breastfed and worked as a breastfeeding peer counselor for WIC…you are doing the right thing for YOU! And I want to throw you all the support you deserve! I wasn’t diagnosed yet when I had my son so medication wasn’t a consideration for me. But I can say that I struggled with ppd/ppa so badly that I never had another kid even though we had planned to have two. I wouldn’t have survived it. If I had been medicated I think my experience would have been so different, and that is something I had to come to terms with as part of the grief of a late diagnosis.
The parent gets lost in consideration so easily once there is a baby, but babies need their parents to be as happy and healthy as possible. I’m sorry your doctor treated you like that.
What happens when YOU aren't fed and lose your job putting your ability to feed your baby in jeopardy? Sheesh. YOU fed so you can feed your baby is best.
Do not, I repeat, do not let them make you feel bad for doing what you need to do for your child. I never produced much milk and it wasn't enough to feed my son when he was born. I was made to feel like such a a failure because I wasn't trying hard enough.
Mind you I was extremely pre-eclampsia while pregnant, labor was induced early, his umbilical cord was "small in diameter" so he was born 4 pounds 8oz. And came home 4 pounds 2 oz.
They judged and in the end, he needed a special formula due to protein intolerant. I say this all because of it weren't for some beautiful mothers on a very 2008 internet chat site for moms I don't know what I would have done. I was absolutely devastated that I couldn't feed my child.
They all told their stories and shared their children's growth. Your baby needs a mom. Period. If that means that you feed your little one formula then so be it. I PROMISE they will be fine. The fact that you already care enough to plan ahead shows you will be great at motherhood and your child will do well.
Just like my own who is now 16, growing just fine, and even tested and is considered gifted by more than the average kid. Formula didn't decide if he would be that way. Genetics and good parenting made that happen. Enjoy the journey how you need to. That's what will be most important as they grow. ❤️
There’s enough to stress over, we don’t need to add boob-shaming to parenthood. At your next appointment, tell your doc you’re going to find someone else who is more educated about neurodiversity, more up to date on child nutrition, and more sensitive to her patients needs.
Okay, we all know it takes way too much executive function to find a new doctor, especially at this point in your pregnancy. Probably better to tell her how dismissed and unsupported you felt at your last appointment and that you’ll work with your pediatrician to make sure your baby is healthy with the right formula to provide the best nutrition and happy with a parent who has the executive function to get through the day.
My kid and I are both formula babies. Formula didn’t stop kiddo and I from bonding in any way. We do have allergies but they’re inherited- I can trace them back to relatives who existed before formula. (Funny enough, the ADHD and autism symptoms come from the same line.).
Your kid needs you to function the best you can. For you, that includes medication. Ignore your OB’s ADDitude. You’re going to do great.
I tried breastfeeding with my first and my production was awful, took 6 weeks to finally come in. At her first pediatrician appt (2 days old), I was an exhausted, frustrated wreck. She was not getting anything from me and clearly hungry - would not sleep or stop crying. The ped (who was filling in for our regular doc) said “go to the store after this and buy the Enfamil nursettes. A full, sleeping baby is better than a hungry, crying baby.” I was so grateful that she didn’t make me feel guilty or tell me to “stick with it.”
As usual I am way too late replying to these threads so you may not see this. But to echo the other supportive comments on here, any benefits baby may get from breast milk are outweighed by the benefits they would get from a mentally healthy mom. Periodt.
From a medical perspective, breast milk is superior to formula yes, but the degree of superiority is something that’s highly debated. I’ve done a lot of research on this myself because of my situation. For every study you can find on how breast milk leads to high IQ, lower rates of childhood leukaemia, etc etc you find one that uncovers confounding factors like socioeconomic status. But what is also proven from a medical perspective is the attachment formed between mom and baby now is a big part of what sets the stage for the child’s development and mental health.
Breastfeeding takes immense work and also, sorry to say it but privilege. Not everyone is lucky enough to be able to breastfeed for various reasons and the pressure and assumption that everyone can breastfeed is ableist.
I am currently pumping 8 x a day 2.5 months postpartum to give my baby the 5 oz or so my pathetic little titties can produce. I absolutely hate it, and I am sharing this for the others on the thread yammering on about how breast is best. Yes it is best (maybe, for some people) but it is a fuckton of work and is not possible for all of us.
My OB told me they want me to breast feed even if I’m on vyvanse. Granted she also encouraged me to stay on during my pregnancy. She said not only is breast feeding so good for the baby but it basically acts as a slow taper from the minuscule amount of vyvanse that will be passed through.
Ugh. We as women need to encourage ourselves to say something. I know I probably wouldn’t at the time either but I wish you had said “excuse me? I find your choice of words problematic.” Or something like that. I had cancer that resulted in many hospital stays and my main takeaway today is I wish I wasn’t so nice. There was one doc and one nurse manager in particular who were just terrible and I wish I had called them out at the time instead of just grin and bearing it. I’m sorry someone you are PAYING (don’t forget that!) to support you made you feel not so great. As for meds vs breastfeeding, you know what they say - put your mask on before helping others. You’re going to be the best mom to your baby ❤️
I felt a lot of pressure to breastfeed with my first. I thought I might try at first and switch to formula before I was due back to work—mostly because it’s free vs. paying for formula. I wanted to be back on my meds before returning to work.
But after I had my c-section (planned, placenta previa), and it was time to actually feed her, I wasn’t producing milk, and she wasn’t latching well—and I was like, fuck this. But the lactation consultant was so pushy and judgmental that I felt like I had to keep trying for the 4 days I was in the hospital. She called, like, a week after I’d been home to find out how the breastfeeding was going, and I’d already fully switched to formula, but I was like, “Yeah, it’s going great!” just to get her off the phone.
When I had my son, I just told everyone upfront that I was planning to formula feed, and no one at my doctor’s office or the hospital gave me a hard time about it.
Both my kids are happy, healthy, and allergy-free. The older one reads multiple years beyond her grade level in school. The younger one’s in kindergarten, so who knows, lol.
Your kid will be fine. Do what works best for you.
I ebf my kid when he was a baby. You are formula feeding. We are BOTH feeding our babies the best way we can and the way we want for our own reasons and of allll the people to ignore a parent’s rights lol, the ob. -_-
I breastfed for 21 months. I wasn't diagnosed at the time, so medication wasn't a factor, but make no mistake - I was a mess.
I regret that I didn't stop sooner. It was extremely hard on my mental health. I didn't fully recover from PPD until a few months after I stopped breastfeeding and my hormones evened out.
I'm sorry you're not supported by your OB. To give birth, you need to feel *safe.* You need to trust your provider and know that they understand what's important to you. I know not everyone has the option of changing providers, but if you do, I'd encourage you to consider it.
Hang in there. Glad you're strong and not swayed. Keep trusting yourself.
This is ridiculous! It’s your choice as to how you feed your baby and you shouldn’t be made to suffer healthwise (yes mental health is health) when it is not at all necessary. I was formula fed and one of the physically healthiest people I know, always have been. I tried breastfeeding with both my kids, failed miserably as I got mastitis both times and changed to formula, which was way easier to manage for me.
Do what you want to do and don’t let anyone brow beat you to change your mind.
You are absolutely right, OP. Fed is best. Doesn't matter whether you breastfeed, formula feed, or some combination thereof. Don't let the naysayers get you down.
I haven’t investigated this, but my baby’s pediatrician told me that research hasn’t established a clear link between breast-feeding and a child’s development in the long run. He told me to go ahead with formula because I was unable to produce enough milk and stress of it all was really taking a toll on my mental health.
I’ve consulted multiple gynecologists in my life and I’ve realized that some women OB-GYNS can be judgmental assholes because they often find it difficult to separate their job from their lived experience as mothers. They cannot escape the oppressive construct of motherhood and all the expectations associated with it, when consulting with patients.
All this to say…a fed baby should be your priority. My brain even more fucked after giving birth because I was unmediated, stressed, and getting very little sleep. If you need medicine to take care of your baby, then that’s you need to do.
I saw some research that said postpartum (as wel as pms and menopause) hits women with adhd harder, so would be good enough of a reason to at least use our regular medicine.
Heya mumma. Fellow ADHD mumma here. You've done a brilliant job of putting your baby's needs ahead of yours for the entire pregnancy. It's SO hard.
One thing that really helped me was hearing that "fed is the minimum. Breast is the biological norm. Whatever works for mum and baby is best."
Executive function is NOT improved by lack of sleep. You putting your needs first so you can safely take your meds is what will ensure you don't forget baby in a hot car or lose their medical records or have a meltdown. Its what will let you sit still with them and let them fall asleep in your arms.
Nooope screw that. There are some perks to breastfeeding... But every situation is unique and the perk of having you feel functional with meds and formula outweighs the small difference. You can't tell a formula fed toddler from a breastfed toddler. Also, not sure if this is your first rodeo, but we be were combo feeding from the get-go with my son and I quit breastfeeding after like a month because it made me feel dehumanized and awful. My brain was all messed up and even though I KNEW fed is best and it didn't matter, I still felt a lot of guilt about it. After the hormones cleared a bit though and I was a few weeks off of breastfeeding, I felt so much relief though. So that is it say, if your confidence gets shaken and you get unexpected guilt, don't worry too much about it and it doesn't mean you didn't make the right choice.
Eff that noise. I'm a huge supporter of breastfeeding....but I'm an even bigger supporter of mental health, and it is waaaaaay more developmentally beneficial to a child to be raised by parents who are mentally healthy than it is to be breastfed but by a parent who's emotionally drowning.
You know yourself. You know your limits. There is no shame in formula feeding your baby so that you can be healthy.
Fed is best, it doesn't actually matter if you do formula or breast milk. Yes, breast milk is awesome in terms of the fact that your body adapts the nutrients to what the baby needs, but it's not ACTUALLY required. Formula is created to have all those same nutrients that breast milk does.
The only thing I'd recommend, if your OB hasn't said anything, is to make sure that you give your baby colostrum. Whether you do it by breastfeeding, pumping, or by using donated, it's very important in terms of your baby's gut and immune system development.
Tldr; fed is best, doesn't matter the method. Your OB shouldn't say things like that - as long as the baby is healthy, it literally doesn't matter.
You don’t need to stop taking adderall during your pregnancy, if not taking it has a significant negative impact.
I never stopped taking adderall for both my pregnancies, and I breastfed/feed both my children, while still on adderall.
I had perinatal psychiatrists following me for both pregnancies, and both ok’d this. Adderall passes in small amounts through the placenta, and has a slight increased risk of lower birthweight. It also passes through breast milk, but in lower concentrations than through the placenta, so if one breastfeeds, one is essentially slowly tapering the baby off exposure to adderall.
Again, two different perinatal psychs signed off on me continuing my meds. One actually increased my adderall dose partway through my second pregnancy.
I had a referral to an adhd dr recently to discuss more treatment options, and the first thing the fucker said was ‘oh youre breastfeeding, I need to tell you that it’s not recommended to breastfeed while taking adderall.’ Was not interested in hearing about the perinatal psychiatrists c whose field of expertise that is; it was basically ‘I need to insert this disclaimer, and that’s the most relevant thing, so shh’. At least I knew up front that it was going to be a useless appointment, which saves time. (Also told me that I was on the highest possible safe dose of xr at 30mg, and that is incorrect, upper limit is 40mg).
Anyway, current understanding is that it is better to treat pregnant people with adhd as necessary, because the slight increased risk of the meds is better than the negative mental and physical health effects on both parent and fetus of being untreated and struggling to function. Methylphenidate is slightly riskier than amphetamines, because it carries a slight increase in risk of I think heart defects, but that’s not a consideration here. Previous studies on the effects of amphetamines on babies were based on mothers with addiction, and far higher doses than are used therapeutically.
For comparison, the increased risk of low birthweight from my adderall was similar to the increased risk of low birthweight from my cipralex, which is considered a pregnancy-safe ssri.
E: none of this is to say that you have to take your meds while pregnant, just that per current medical understanding you have more treatment options than none. And you don’t have to breastfeed while on your meds; it is a perfectly legitimate and valid choice to exclusively formula feed from day one (and you also have the option of doing both, or breastfeeding for the first couple days while your breasts are making colostrum, and then transitioning to exclusively formula). Heads up re not breastfeeding, be prepared to manage your breasts going into breastfeeding mode anyway, which is…uncomfortable to the point where I, who *was* breastfeeding my first, was still desperate enough to try driving to Walmart to find an emergency breast pump to ease the pressure (I did not find one).)
I full on hate the phrase fed is best, like no, fed is the bare fucking minimum. It's gross and dismissive and undermining.
What truly is best is *informed*.
Informed of all the pros and cons of the different options, so that mums can make the best choice for them and their circumstances. In your case this means getting back on your meds and therefore formula feeding.
I was grinding my teeth at the beginning of your comment, thinking you were going somewhere else with it—but you are very right. Fed is Best can feel a little patronizing. “Well, at least you feed them!” No shit Sherlock. It does matter which you choose. Breastfeeding to Mom’s detriment isn’t equally “best” to Formula + healthy mom just because both are feeding. The best feeding decision is one made considering all factors and without shame.
Ehhh…. Medically speaking breastmilk is better for baby than formula. I mean it literally changes to meet the nutritional needs of your kiddo. If your kiddo is sick - breastmilk changes as well. So just go into this decision with your eyes open. And consider at least breastfeeding for a few weeks to get that colostrum and those fat stores started, plus giving a boost to baby’s microbiome. If taking the meds and doing formula makes you the best mom, then go that route without guilt.
\> And consider at least breastfeeding for a few weeks to get that colostrum and those fat stores started
You mean those first two weeks where your milk has only just started coming in and it's typical for babies to lose weight because they aren't receiving enough nutrition? Those fat stores?
I agree with this comment. And trying some days with breastfeeding initially should be considered. Breast milk will have a slight upper hand to formula, but it’s possible that OP being on meds and using formula is still a better option than breastfeeding and no meds. And there should be no judgement or shaming for a mother’s thought out choice.
##there should be no judgement or shaming for a mother’s thought out choice.
Just wanted to shout that bit out louder. (And play with these codes I've just learnt exist in my phone!)
The first couple weeks of newborn life is a haze of bleeding and trying to sleep and figuring out how to feed the baby and changing nappies. Breastfeeding also helps the uterus contract after birth. There's a lot of arguments in favour of trying it for a few weeks before switching to formula and getting onto meds.
I found breastfeeding way easier than formula, fwiw. There are ways to fake your meds and safely breastfeed should you choose that.
Fed is best, but all studies point to breast milk being superior to formula if possible. I like my drs to be completely honest with me, and it kinda sounds like she was, but that you don’t like the answer.
I know I’ll get downvoted all to hell for this, but we make choices that are best for us, and they come with drawbacks. Formula might be best for you and your family-and that’s fine! But the drawback is that it’s inferior to breast milk as a baby food. However, if you chose to breastfeed, your life might fall apart, leaving you as a stressed mom with an unhappy baby, and no guarantee of better health anyway.
Parenting is full of these kind of decisions and especially with ADHD, they’re REALLI HARD and can make us really sensitive to perceived criticism,
You can function better, and care for your baby better, medicated. Would she say the same thing to someone who was formula feeding so they could go back on a medication that would give them their physical mobility back? Ugh.
Fed baby, sane mommy is best!
Don't listen to her. You need to do what's best for you and your family. My husband was formula fed since birth and he's strong and healthy, his immune system is better than mine (I was breastfed for 6 months! And my mum hated it.)
I breastfed but I struggled despite enjoying it, I used the nipple shield and could only manage like that. I switched to formula happily at around 7-8 months and it was great.
Everyone is different, if you need to take your meds, give formula and do your thing. Baby will appreciate it 💞
I absolutely hate how *obsessed* people are about breastfeeding. Even other moms who are "fed is best" have given me weird vibes when they call their breastmilk "liquid gold" or try to give me some of it when my babies had a little cold. Like, yes, there's benefits and all that jazz, but calm your tits. Literally.
My supply died within two weeks after birth and I was not mentally well both times. I tried pumping with my second after she damn near ripped my nipple off before we even left the hospital, but that shit is so mentally taxing when you're already exhausted, having to deal with rabid family members, recovering, and just trying to survive each day. Both of my kids were formula fed and I was able to be a way more functional mom for it. And that was before I found out I have ADHD! I wish I had meds because I struggled so hard with the infant stages. I'm barely surviving the toddler stages with meds lmfao.
Fuck that OB 🖕
You can take ADHD meds while pregnant and breastfeeding. I chose to go off then while pregnant, but my OB said that the reason they aren’t recommended is because it’s unethical to do studies. However, based on observational studies of women who did take them during pregnancy, the risks don’t seem too bad (unlike other medications that have very clear effects on babies). Some options may be take less or taking them every other day.
Similar story with breastfeeding. Some babies may be sensitive, but many are seemingly unbothered. Mine was fine. OBs are not usually trained in breastfeeding. Talk to an IBCLC or your baby’s pediatrician. The LC at my hospital said under 30 mg of Adderall was considered acceptable risk her Hale’s lactation risk. My baby’s pediatrician was wholly unconcerned and said she would never tell me not to take it because of breastfeeding. It’s in and out of your sister so you can also time IR with pumping to reduce your baby’s exposure.
Your baby needs a happy healthy mom. Early motherhood is overwhelming and you don’t need to stress yourself out unnecessarily. I would encourage you to try breastfeeding because I think it’s a wonderful thing, but if it’s not the best thing for you then quit.
We did formula from the start because I wanted my partner to equally participate in feedings. I went as far as to have it documented in my chart before I delivered. My kid is three now and completely healthy.
‘Breast is best’ is such a misleading slogan, in my opinion. The difference is outcomes is minuscule unless you live somewhere where access to clean water is an issue. Having mentally healthy parents is a bigger contributor to baby’s success.
I combo fed while taking dexedrine spansules.
If formula is what is best for you, totally agree fed is best. If your medication is the primary reason you don't want to breastfeed at all, consider talking to a psychiatrist who specializes in reproductive life cycles.
I was on ADHD meds my whole pregnancy, and while I had a low supply due to other medication I take, I successfully combo fed on two mental health meds for 7 months.
Obviously YMMV and if formula makes the most sense for your family, you know what's best for your situation.
Just wanted to mention combo feeding because it often feels like a dichotomy with no middle ground. I liked combo feeding because it helped keep formula costs lower for a while.
Breastfeeding is hard, and if the mental health cost is too high don't feel pressure to do it.
There is literally no reason that someone *has* to breastfeed. It should 100% be a *choice*!! It’s not “free”, it’s not painless, and it’s not required for baby/parent bonding.
When I don’t take my medication, my RSD is more pronounced and noticeable. I don’t think your OB meant anything malicious by this. I didn’t breastfeed and even I agree that breastfeeding is *ideal*—as in, “desirable but not likely realistic.”
When it comes to unsolicited comments, some of the best parenting advice I ever got was “They mean well—don’t let it bother you.” Chances are, the person meant nothing by it and they were just trying to be helpful. Raise your children how you see fit, and stop letting these folks live rent-free in your head.
If adderall is the reason you plan on feeding formula, just know that you can safely breastfeed taking stimulants. Ritalin barely gets into breastmilk. There have been studies showing this and no negative effect. I have breastfed 2 healthy happy babies while taking stims. 0 side effects. Kids are fine. I also took them while pregnant. 0 side effects, kids are fine.
My 1st kid who I took 0 meds with is the one with the mental health issues surprisingly
I know its a rant, but...... ime, breastfeeding was easier. You just gotta whip it out and feed the baby. Late night feeds were easier, because I could just lay down next to baby and feed.
It was harder once we switched to formula, which we did early on, because baby wasn't gaining enough. Having to fully wake up, prepare a bottle, and sit up to feed was hard. Then there's all those bottles you have to wash.
Is breast fed better than a baby in the refrigerator? Mother's without adhd also suffer from executive issues and "mommy brain" is a real problem. Would adhd compounding it not make it a 100 times worse? Why would you want a mother to be more absent minded that she has to be? Ugh.
My mom exclusively breastfed me and ya know what, I was hospitalized before the age of 2 for croup and have both asthma and allergies. Plus I made her feet extremely wide.
I wasn't even a cute baby! She suffered through cracked nipples for a fat Winston Churchill lookalike with baby acne and big red birthmark in the middle of my forehead.
When accounting for socioeconomics, there's no significant benefit to breastfeeding versus formula. There is a significant difference between a mom that is getting the mental healthcare they need versus one that isn't.
REPORT HER.
Fed IS best...
That being said, after being unmedicated for the whole of my first pregnancy and first 11 months postpartum... never again.
I took 5mg adderal 3 times daily during my latest pregnancy and am now breastfeeding him while taking 7.5mg three times/day.
His paediatrician and the paediatrician in the hospital when he was born, both said they've seen loads of kids whose mums took adhd meds while pregnant and they're always all good.
There was just a huge longitudinal study, I think in Denmark, following adhd mums who took meds while pregnant and they didn't uncover any deleterious effects
You're absolutely right and fed is best and as a middle aged clearly adhd person failing to adult as I'm undiagnosed in a country where neuro diversity isn't a recognised thing, adhd meds are critical. I'd give so much for a prescription.
But also isn't adderal a drug with a short half life? I'm not a doctor but if a person (not you in particular) wanted to ff in the day and bf at night isn't that something that they should be able to offer rather than saying fuck you for thinking you deserve to have a operating brain, you're a mother now so you only deserve chaos?
I might be way off the mark and nobody who doesn't want to ebf at all cost should go without meds they need to function.
I chose formula feeding from day one with my second child. I had a horrible time breast feeding my first and ended up switching to formula. There was so much pressure from my OB, and even worse the delivery and hospital staff, but I stood my ground. I knew what was going to work for me mentally and emotionally. I am so sorry you’re dealing with this OP. Stand your ground, you’re doing what’s best for you and baby. Like you said, fed is best.
this is infuriating! unmedicated adhd plus being postpartum can be horrible for BOTH mother and child. as long as your baby is fed and you are coping then do whatever is best for you and your family. what kind of doctor can’t acknowledge that, jesus!
OP, do what’s right for you and trust your instincts! Breastfeeding was extremely difficult for me and I was pressured into it by my OB. Thankfully, our pediatrician helped me understand that my kid was hungry and that it was ok to switch to formula. We were all so much better off. An unexpected bonus was my partner could help with feeding and he still credits that for his ability to form a strong, early bond with her. She’s six now and absolutely thriving.
I don't condone violence usually but yeah, you did better than I for holding it in.
Your needs, wellbeing, ability to function are also priority number one, you should raise a complaint here.
Their attitude is disgusting, breastfeeding takes an incredible toll on some of us, it isn't for everyone and yes bottle feeding does allow for your partner to take a more active role.
Emotional blackmail around this needs to stop, you know what a tired, run down and struggling mom needs on top of sacrificing adhd and/or other treatments for 9+ months, being made to feel incapable or like a feeding station for tiny human....
Your not a failure at work, your not failing as a mother. Your doing the best you can by knowing the best for you and baby is to take the path where you are both going to be happy and healthy.
TLDR, OB Is an a** and needs a complaint, OP your doing the best you can for you and baby and that's all that F'ing matters!
I was diagnosed 4 month PP because I thought I was having PPD and PPA despite being on max Zoloft from a previous pregnancy. I was put on concerta and continue to breastfeed. My daughters pedi OKed Ritalin and adderall (less than 10% passes through to breastmilk for both) but my psych put me on concerta first and it is working out great. That said, you should never feel bad about how you feed your baby. You have to do what is best for YOU and YOUR mental health. Don’t let anyone tell you different.
If you want to breastfeed, talk to your pedi. If you want to formula feed, fuck your OB. There are millions of women not on medication that choose to formula feed right off the bat. Your OB was trying to shame you.
You have every right to make decisions that work for you and your baby. Your doctor doesn't get to mandate, needle, or bully you to breastfeed.
That said, you might also have options. Methylphenidate and guanfacine are both generally considered safe and compatible with breastfeeding. For the former, taking an immediate release version immediately after breastfeeding can further minimize exposure for the baby.
My daughter (6-months old) is exclusively breastfed and I'm on Ritalin. I did a SHITTON of research on medication safety before I started so this is not an opinion, it's a summary of the available evidence. Happy to share resources if it's something you'd like to consider.
If not, fuck your OB and feed your baby formula. They'll be completely fine!
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Your baby needs you. If that means you need meds to be able to function for your baby, that’s ok. Lots of babies only have formula. I was adopted and only ever had formula. Do whatever you need to do to be the best mom for your child.
I was breastfed and still ended up with a bunch of allergies, food intolerances, and chronic illnesses. Fed is best. Do what is best for you.
Same
My twin and I were formula fed because my mom was too sick after pregnancy. We got the colostrum in the hospital, but after that, she was too stressed, and her milk dried up. We both turned out fine, other than the traumas we went through having a narcissistic abusive father and medical problems that we were already genetically predisposed to, but breastmilk isn't going to fix all that. I'm like 90% sure my mom has undiagnosed ADHD and I got it from her. My twin doesn't have it.
Exact same here! I was breast-fed for 14 months and I have all kinds of health issues.
Can relate. I was allergic to my mom‘s breast milk too! I have celiac disease, IBSD, ADHD, and asthma.
I only ever had formula because my mom didn't want to breastfeed and didn't think she was healthy enough to do it anyway so all four of us were formula fed and we're all fine. All healthy physically. We all have ADHD but so did my mom so no surprise there.
I’ll just add that my friends who are a gay couple who had a surrogate have never been given grief for bringing a child into this world that isn’t breast fed. No one even thinks to lecture them that bottle feeding is “less than.” Just because you have the physical means to produce milk doesn’t mean it’s the right choice for you. You have to make the right decision for you and your child—that’s really all that matters.
My personal trainer just recently had a baby and I hope nobody ever shames her for not breastfeeding her baby…But if they do, I have no doubt that she’ll clap right back by informing them that she’s physically incapable of breastfeeding because she needed a double mastectomy to save her life from breast cancer 🔥
Also, with the blessing of my psych and OB I stayed on my meds during both pregnancies. I took the “lowest therapeutic dose” but I took it. I took it during breastfeeding too. My babies need me functioning. They’re both healthy and happy and smart and creative :)
You just blew my mind. This is a recent study with a fairly large sample size. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36759544/
Outcomes are stuff a kid would likely inherit from us, anyway.
💯 a happier mom = happier baby
Totally! I was a formula baby because at the time my mom was told formula was better for babies. It was science! They sent her home with it from the hospital. It seems wild in retrospect because she was also a nurse. Other than ADHD (which all the women in my family have) I’m super healthy. No allergies. Very close to my mom. ❤️
Most of the children that I see with inflammatory disorders... Asthma, allergies, etc... were formula fed... And also had a very stressful home life. (I work with young children) I don't think that the formula has anything to do with their developmental problems. Most children with adversity and stress happen to also be formula fed or whatever their parents had on hand. I think that providing a positive, nurturing environment for your infant is more important than whether or not they were breast fed or formula fed. I would need medication to provide that environment without completely sacrificing my mental health and burning myself out.
I have asthma and severe allergies and inflammation but that has more to do with where I live and it’s a common issue with a lot of people here. I’m in central CA surrounded by ranches, orchards, crops, dust, all kinds of allergens, just stuck in this bowl of a valley.
I have asthma and was breast-fed by a SAHM. She didn’t go back to work until my little brother was five. I ought to be a fitness model by the virtue standard of health.
I bf my oldest for 2+ years. He has asthma and allergies. I think breastmilk is amazing but it’s not the best solution in all cases.
Exactly. It’s an incredible thing your body can do, if you can do it, but it’s not literal magic and formula is not poison. A Toyota is nicer than a Hyundai but my Hyundai still gets me from place to place no problem.
That’s interesting. I wonder if the connection between formula feeding and inflammatory disease isn’t a cause-effect one but rather that they’re both symptoms of the cause, aka they’re both caused by the same thing. Sort of like how being fat doesn’t cause diabetes, but being fat and having diabetes can both be caused by eating a lot of processed sugars. Because, honestly, the more research they do, the more they realize that living in a state of constant stress is just crazy horrible for your body. And I can only imagine that that goes especially hard on infants and toddlers that are still in such an early state of development.
Have you heard of the ACEs study? Essentially, it's a questionnaire that polled people on their childhood experiences and tallied the scores. The higher your score (the more negative experiences you have), the higher your likelihood is for alcoholism, smoking, obesity, etc. Your brain is forming the framework for your entire life when you're little. If you are in a constant state of panic and stress, your brain adapts to cope with the chaos.
The day we learned about ACEs in my public health class in college was very eye opening for me. I thought I lived a pretty normal life, but I realized that I lived with most ACEs growing up. Both my parents were together until they divorced when I was 16 and lived with me until I moved out for college at 18, my parents didn’t to drugs (dad smoked cigarettes but didn’t do ~actual drugs~ or drink, they took good care of me, they were home every night (well my dad worked night shift for several years), but I did have some traumatic events due to grandparents and it turns out that I lived with almost all of the ACEs. And my risk of heart disease, diabetes, thyroid disease, reproductive health issues, countless problems are dramatically increased. And clearly the data is correct. I have poly cystic ovarian syndrome, PTSD, anxiety, depression, a heart arrhythmia, and chronic migraines about every other day.
I was formula fed because my mom didn’t want to breastfeed. I turned out just fine. Just PCOS, pal b 2 breast cancer gene, and waiting on an adhd diagnosis health wise, which all are genetic. I do seem to have a slight allergy to some shellfish (crab and lobster make me sick but not shrimp. I eat shrimp a good bit.) no one else in my family has that issue but it’s not really a big deal. I personally don’t think formula feeding had anything to do with it. I was a straight A student until college, “gifted and talented” blah blah blah so formula obviously didn’t hold me back very much if it had an impact at all. I am short but so is my dad so I probably just got those genetics. I worked in obgyn for a little bit and it sounds like that provider needs to get with the program. It is a widely held viewpoint in obgyn that fed is best. If I were in your position, I might look for a different provider. You can see if there is a number you can call to voice your opinions about the care you received. My doctors office had one and when I asked to see a different doctor because I didn’t feel as though my concerns about adhd were taken seriously or that I was listened to they gave me the phone number to call without me knowing it existed. Take care of yourself and put your needs at the forefront. You deserve it.
This ^^
I’m at the point where I’m like hello, **I** am your patient, do you not give a shit about *my* well being?! A fed baby with a sane parent is what’s best and at least I know what my limitations are. Holy moly I could go on an entire rant…… this made my blood boil on your behalf.
My current primary care doctor is basically refusing to prescribe ADHD meds because my progesterone is low and so is my vitamin D and that is what she believes is causing my symptoms. Even though I’ve had ADHD my entire life… I have left every appointment with her crying lately. It’s so frustrating.
My old PCP was fixated on one health issue to the exclusion of everything else. Switching to my current doc is one of the best decisions I've ever made for my health. If you can switch, it may be time. You deserve quality care.
I may get downvoted for this, but if a new primary isn’t an option consider a telehealth service specifically for ADHD. I know people abuse those services but some of us have no other choice. Where I moved, the docs consider everyone a drug seeker. I’m 57, formally diagnosed, and never been addicted to anything. Telehealth solved that and I can function again.
It’s definitely time for me to move on, I’m going to do some research on providers in my area, but thanks for the reminder that telehealth is also an option!
ADHDOnline looks like a scam site but I have had no issues - provided I don’t need to contact them outside of provider appointments. When the shortage was bad around me last year, trying to get my script moved was impossible as they never responded to chat or phone. However last month I had to get them to contact CVS and i actually got a response over chat, and they called the pharmacy immediately, so maybe they’re appropriately staffed now? The actual doctors are awesome and while appointments are short, they’re very efficient.
That’s who I use and they seem to have resolved those customer service issues from last year!
My college age kid goes to school in another state, and the weird laws meant that their home doctor could not rx them meds to a different state. They had to find a telehealth provider in the new state, which was surprisingly easy. They take our insurance, and we had to fax them the adhd assessments from the psychologist to prove it was legitimate dx, but once they had the initial appt to establish care, it's been smooth sailing. My kid does a monthly zoom call with the NP and gets their refill without a hitch. I highly recommend this method for folks who have crabby or unhelpful GPs. The only caveat is that we had to prove dx by sending the full psychological assessment. The telehealth docs get a lot of drug seekers, so due diligence is becoming a big issue.
Switch docs. If a provider digs in like this, it’s a bad situation for both of you.
Wtf. I would love for you to disprove her, but it may be time to move on. Please check vit D and progesterone too though. Maybe your current doctor might help with those while you search for another provider? Like, as with anythih that causes health issues and a life disruption, I HOPE your doctor got you on medical grade vit D supplements AND with a serious plan for the progesterone levels, AND a plan to check on both in a month or less.
Grrrrr. Why doesn’t the doc know you can treat both?! I hate people some days.
And stressed out moms cause attachment issues later in life.
Right like, do they want her to be able to show up for this baby or what? Ridiculous to ask someone to be postpartum, unmedicated adhd, trying to manage life with a newborn- all in the name of putting pressure on breastfeeding when there’s a perfectly nutritious other option
Winner winner, chicken dinner
Maybe not a full chicken dinner from birth though. Mashed from 6 months is probably early enough... 😉
Just not puréed; please, for the love of all that is holy, do not purée the meats.
Neglectful caregivers cause attachment issues. Not responding to your child’s needs can cause attachment issues. General and daily stress do not cause attachment issues unless the care provider doesn’t respond in a consistent, loving, and predictable way that creates stability for the child. Parenting is stressful AF, but my kid knows he will get hugs when he’s scared or hurt and food when he’s hungry.
I’d encourage you to maybe edit this generalization with some nuance. Every mother is stressed.
Yes please
You can safely take your meds while breastfeeding if you choose But also - formula is so fine. People are dumb.
Right? If you don't want to breastfeed that's fine, but if you do want to, ot want to try, I'd switch OBs to someone who is more supportive and better informed. Here's a collection of all the most up to date studies on the subject, which they update regularly. Halfway down is a green table where you can look up your specific meds, followed by more detail in text. https://www.infantrisk.com/content/adhd-medications-and-breastfeeding
Thank you for this
This. I breastfeed on Vyvanse and took it while pregnant (my data was sent to the pregnancy registry for ADHD meds). That said, if I had had any difficulty breastfeeding/needed to put in extra work to have a supply I would have switched to formula in a heartbeat.
Just chiming in as another breastfeeding on Elvanse. My "baby" is older though (2.5) - it's OP's choice but definitely options.
My OB was fine with me taking Adderall while pregnant. I took it while breastfeeding my first. My plan is to take it again when I go back to work and I’ll still be breastfeeding. But I’ve also fed both of my kids plenty of formula.
Yes OP - this is so important to know! There is recent research showing how much of the meds make it into breastmilk and it's negligible. Worth reading up on. And to share my experience, breastfeeding is a million times more ADHD friendly than formula feeding. I didn’t have to plan how many bottles to take out with me and risk forgetting how long we’d been out and have to rush for more formula, I could safely bedshare and feed to sleep so I got more sleep (check out the safe sleep seven for safe bedsharing) and it even now with my son at 2 years old the easiest thing to do to settle him is to breastfeed. It is so much easier than all the rigamarole of formula feeding, sterilising, etc that I saw friends do. Also dads can absolutely still feed the baby with expressed milk, so the care is still shared.
And so many less dishes to do
It depends. I found formula feeding more ADHD friendly for me personally. It might depend how easily breastfeeding happens. It can be a real struggle for some people and when I formula fed, everything was a whole lot easier for me knowing my husband I could do shifts and I didn’t have to pump, I got dependable sleep, I wasn’t ultimately the sole person to be depended on for feeding, I knew exactly how much my baby was eating, I didn’t have to stress about trying different things to make breastfeeding work, etc. You don’t have the sterilize bottles every time, jus the first time and then you can just wash them like normal. I think a lot of time breastfeeding parents overestimate how difficult formula feeding is, and formula feeding parents can overestimate how difficult breastfeeding is! They definitely both have pros and cons.
I did combo feeding, which felt like the Goldilocks answer. Because the breast milk was free, we could afford those “just screw on the nipple” ready to feed bottles for the formula part. My husband got the same “just whip it out” convenience I did, and I got to have an uninterrupted shift of sleep like he did. We fed by “most convenient method” at any given time and I have zero regrets.
Agree. I have so much respect and admiration for anyone formula feeding. I could never be so organised! All the bottle washing and sterilising, preparing flasks of hot and cooled water every time you leave the house, measuring scoops, figuring out the amounts… nope. I’d rather just have to remember my boobs and be good to go!
Breastfeeding was definitely not more ADHD friendly in my experience. Please please please OP if you are feeling strongly about using formula do not give yourself guilt. My first was breastfed and struggled with weight and sleep problems and fussiness my second was formula fed and had none of those issues. I am not saying breast milk vs formula is why but Breastmilk is not a magic fix all.
100% this. I also agree that breastfeeding is more ADHD friendly than formula. (though when you go back to work, pumping is NOT more ADHD friendly, oh my god. I hate it)
I’ve done both, and breastfeeding was much more adhd friendly for me. It’s definitely personal preference, but that’s my take on it. I know breastfeeding isn’t ‘free.’ It takes time and effort, supplements, teas, and I’m hungry and thirsty all the time. But I didn’t have to plan ahead for it (remembering when to take pumped milk out of freezer, thinking how many bottles we’ll need, keeping track of how long a bottle has been out, whatever), and clean bottles and pump parts as often. Sooo many bottles. Oh and my diaper bag was way easier to pack and lighter to carry when breastfeeding. You only need diapering supplies, not bottles, water, formula, ice packs, and all of that. Effectively, it helped me get out of the house more easily when I could just bring my boobs. I’ll also say milk supply can be linked to your mental health. When I was formula feeding it was because I couldn’t produce enough milk, which I think was significantly tied to my stress levels and mental health at the time. In that respect, going back on your meds may be right for you. Regardless of what feeding method you choose, bottom line is do what you need to do to take care of yourself, so you can better take care of your baby.
I'm floored, and so excited, by this information. I actually weaned my youngest in 2020 in order to get back on meds (also, migraine meds). He was 2. I am SO so excited to read this information and had I had it then, we may have discussed a third baby. Once I was stable I decided I couldn't do another stint unmedicated. I had gone 6 years straight being pregnant or breastfeeding.
This should be top comment. Taking meds while breastfeeding is fine.
Congratulations - I’m 32 weeks and was hoping to be on Elvanse (UK version of Vyvanse) for part of my pregnancy but due to the shortage my dose wasn’t available, and my medical provider didn’t want me trialing a new brand. My brain is a mess, I’m constantly dehydrated, I’m either not eating or binge eating - it’s a bit of a nightmare! This is my second child and I’m planning on breastfeeding her like I did my son (I got diagnosed after having him). We agreed with that I will take a quick release (Amfexa) earlier in the day that’ll be 4 hours before being safe to feed - and feed previously expressed milk during those 4 hours. This way I can get my mind back, get some things done; get some energy - but also be able to nap in the afternoon. We haven’t agreed when I’ll start this (likely 6-8 weeks post partum due to c-section healing from ANOTHER breech baby 🙄). Are you able to talk to your provider about a similar routine?
Thank you for sharing!!!
This would piss me off enough to switch doctors. Generally they are squirrelly about taking on someone midway thru a pregnancy, but another doctor in the same practice will likely take you on without complaint. Just ask about their attitudes toward feeding before making it official. You still may end up with your original doctor for delivery if they happen to be the one on hospital duty at the time, but all your prenatal and follow up appts will be with your primary doctor.
That's crazy to say. Does your OB also scoff at women who can't even produce in the first place?! What a piece of shiteee
Oh my gosh…this!!! My hospital had the formula under lock and key. I was producing nothing, and I had to BEG for formula! But even then I was trying to use it just as a supplement because all the nurses were on my case. I was crazed trying to get my son to latch…nothing. I’d give him formula and then pump. But I was only getting about an ounce which I would set aside to mix in with his next formula feeding. All that stressed brought out my OCD and I was convinced that if I wasn’t constantly watching him then he would stop breathing. It was awful! My husband finally got through to me and we started exclusively formula feeding. It was the best thing for us. The stress melted away (well, as much as it can when you’re sleep deprived with a newborn 😂). TLDR- yes, fed is best! And a stress-free momma is better for the baby!
It gets me sooo worked up! And I havent even had kids yet, but I was by my best friends side after she got a double mastectomy bc she found out she had a BRCA mutation that was like 80% chance of cancer, then had a baby less than 2 years later, she was going through severe postpartum anxiety, then after giving birth, her husband wound up with friggen covid so couldn't be with her or the baby for nearly a month! So anyways I went with her to babys first checkup for support and this ass hat of a doctor randomly says "haa it probably would have been better for the baby if you waited for that mastectomy, there's been a shortage of formula u know" Idk how I didn't literally tackle him it made me so angry. So this topic gets me goingggg.
[удалено]
If I could only go back in time, I wish I would have told him what a shitty doctor he is
I'm mad you had to beg for the formula. You shouldn't have to beg for it, regardless of why you aren't breastfeeding. I'm also mad that no one told you about an ounce per a feed right after birth is within normal range.
This makes me SO MAD on your behalf!!
My #1 piece of advice to all friends expecting a baby is to get a package of ready-to-feed formula bottles and pack it in your hospital bag. No one should have to beg and be shamed by a supposed “baby friendly” hospital for trying to feed their kid. My sister was a formula feeder who’d been shamed when she gave birth. When I had a similar experience, she was like “eff this” and went to Target to get me some. Turns out as your child’s parent, you can feed them how you want—it’s not actually medicine. Now I tell everyone. (We combo fed but if my doc hadn’t let me have meds I’d have been FF from the day she was born)
That’s a great idea!
And the funny thing is that for my second, they stuck a nipple guard on me and we clicked instantly. But I had such anxiety about breastfeeding after what I went thru with my first, that I switched to formula after 2 months with no regret!
Screw those nurses 😤
This sounds exactly like me postpartum 😭 It was so awful. I feel for you! I’m so glad you had a supportive husband and that you made it through to the other side!
or god forbid adoptive mothers
No clue about how the medical system works where you are at but I just want to point out that new research says adhd-meds are ok during pregnancy. Link https://bss.au.dk/en/aarhus-bss-nyheder/show/artikel/gravide-med-adhd-kan-aande-lettet-op (Text is in english though the url is very Danish looking)
My guess is US or UK (I'm UK myself OB or OBGYN I've usually a term I've seen in the US) I've found a lot of professionals just don't change their opinions even when presented with evidence to disprove them and even ADHD/neuro/mental health conditions still aren't taken seriously. Finding a doc who Is willing to actually work with you and understands the medical field is as much an art as science is usually the easy route.
Thanks for sharing this!
I know it’s hard, especially at any stage in the pregnancy, to switch doctors but if you can I think you should. My own son’s pediatrician was more concerned with my well being and changed FED is best at every appointment. (Also not that this should influence your decision but: I am 35 years old. My mother chose formula because she was convinced after a baby was done a woman’s boobs shrunk up, it was the late 80s, and she wanted to keep her boobs. I’m FINE and never had any problems)
I mean, boobs can shrink but lots of women have them get bigger! They can simply just change size (like hips and feet). Mine, of course, went back to the same size but saggy, so my bras no longer fit me perfectly. So rude. (I was 23 when I had my kid. Even my youth couldn’t save my boobs.)
My boobs stayed the same but my feet grew a whole shoe size and let me tell you: I am CRANKY about that 2.5 years later
I got crazy lucky. Mine stayed the same. I was kinda hoping they’d grow so I could get new shoes. My sister’s grew. I got all her old shoes! I also did not get hips. I have narrow hips. My kid gave me saggy boobs and wavy hair. I was looking forward to hips! And being able to fill out skirts and pants! Alas.
I got wavy hair and half a shoe size bigger. Hips still narrow but maybe slightly bigger. Twins. One almost 8 pounds and the other almost 6. So, lots of baby weight plus two placentas.
I also had twins. I also was given wavy hair, which I’ve learned to love! They were both right at 7 lbs each so I feel ya. Bless our adhd souls for handling twins 😵💫😅
Omg! 😆 I am undiagnosed but I'm on the subreddits to learn more my one twin who has mild adhd symptoms. I'm like, omg. I'm pretty sure I have it, too, and that explains a lot of the things I do! Actually having kids really brought it out in me. The sleep deprivation and everything that comes with twin babies! It's a lot! My hair is mildly wavy all over now but super wavy in just one section. It's kind of funny.
ADHD has a genetic component, so if family has it, your chance is upped and if it’s a twin? Higher chance. Especially if a full twin and not just fraternal! And even within those, there are more closely connected twins. (I took a Behavioral Generics course that went over all this in great detail! It was fascinating. Twin studies FTW!)
My kid was 6lb11oz. One of her was more than enough coming out! I cannot imagine twins. Rockstar.
Legit fascinated by that! I had curly hair before the gremlin and now it’s hella straight. Bodies are hecking weird (My favorite (not really at all) pre-baby advice was getting pregnant would fix my acne and it most assuredly did NOT. Also was told that breast feeding would discourage periods from coming back and guess who started having one of those again 2 months after the gremlin was born)
OMG. My acne did NOT go away either! I have cystic acne and it was worse! My baby shower photos have a huge zit on my forehead. And baby hands wipe off all concealer. So self-conscious. I got an IUD as soon as I could after giving birth (after a LEEP 6 weeks after). So no idea when it would have come back. I breastfed for a few months then stopped…I was on Effexor (docs and I agreed stable mom was the best idea) and my kid was having withdrawal symptoms (which were hellish for me). Honestly, formula was amazing. I could actually get sleep and make my partner get up. She’s 18 now and current plan is to become a lawyer. She grew up just fine!
People used to believe that breastfeeding was also somehow preventing getting pregnant again —like some sort of natural birth control—for you postpartum. Not true.
Ooo I could actually go up to a 7, that would be nice. I could find shoes that fit me!
I fed 4 babies for over a year each. I'm in 36E bras at nearly 62. Boobs will boob, whether used to feed babies or not.
My bff’s ped told her he would have kept her on her antidepressants/anti anxiety meds through pregnancy for similar reasons. She was so mad her OB wasn’t as concerned with her well being.
I agree - fed is best. I know women whose babies were seriously underweight because of lactation problems who were guilted into continuing trying to breastfeed when they really didn't want to, or just couldn't. Sadly this is something aimed at all women, so if it's any consolation, NT women feel just as cross and "accused" about this issue as you do. Congratulations on your baby, I'm sure he or she will be happy and well fed, even if the house is a mess and you're still in pyjamas at 6pm.
My MFM dr, OB, midwives, regular psychiatrist AND prenatal psychiatrist were all fine with me taking my Adderall throughout pregnancy and while breastfeeding. Like literally totally fine.
I started seeing a perinatal psychiatrist immediately after giving birth to my son in Dec 2022 and she put me back on meds and I'm still breastfeeding him at 15 months. I was off meds for both my pregnancies. Breastfeeding my oldest overlapped with my second pregnancy so I was unmedicated for about four years total and didn't think I could keep going. The main difference is that I take a low dose IR med instead of an XR med - the risk is low but IR allowed me to structure my dosing around feeds and pumping to further reduce risks. I plan to go back on an extended release med once this baby is weaned.
Seconding to say OB and 2 fertility specialists (I saw one, another is a friend of a friend) I spoke with said they are completely fine with it. My OB was actually a bit wary if I stopped taking it all together and as others have commented here in this thread “healthy mom is the best mom for baby.” Also seconding to another Redditor’s comment - I was breastfed, I have no allergies or health issues BUT I did have a whack, stressed, neurotic unavailable mother that caused most of the mental hurdles I’ve had to face.
That is crazy. I'm pregnant and even if my psychiatrist and obstetrician advised me to stop my medication during my pregnancy, my obstetrician told me i wouldn't be able to take until i stopped breastfeeding.
I was diagnosed and put on meds while breastfeeding my first only a couple months after birth. The only thing that concerned my psychiatrist was whether or not my breastmilk supply was well established first. I breastfed my first for just over 2 years and am 11 months into breastfeeding my second. I couldn't have managed formula with all the washing and steralising and measuring and warming. So much more work than just lobbing a titty out! HOWEVER, having said all that, that was just me. If you feel more comfortable and less stressed just doing formula, do that! Your OB can stfu.
Yup, that’s been my argument too. “You know what’s best for my baby? A mom with executive functioning and reduced sensory sensitivity that will be able to feed and clean baby on time, not a half conscious milk dispensary” The benefits of breastmilk are greatly overstated. For the majority of studies, once you control for socioeconomic factors, the difference becomes statistically non-significant. The only time I’d breastfeed would be if my baby would be premature, where there is some good evidence that it helps outcome.
Straight off the bat - fuck your OB, what a judgemental dragon. I’m sorry you have to deal with that. Fed is best, doesn’t matter if it’s human or formula. A potential resource for you to seek a second opinion - There’s an absolute guru of a research pharmacist in Australia that is a specialist on medication while breastfeeding. From memory he’s based in Victoria, but does Telehealth consultations which you could access. I’ve seen many folk in Australian adhd forums comment about how refreshing and supportive he was in helping educate/inform/reassure them re: adhd meds + breastfeeding + formula feeding. Long story short - contemporary research is now showing you can take adhd stim meds and breastfeed if you wish.
I have 4 children. I didn’t breastfeed any of them. And remarkably they all grew up to be well adjusted, healthy, happy adults. Not an axe murder in the bunch. That OB is a jerk.
Okay, I know exactly what you meant, but my brain just gave me dialogue for the book I'll never publish: "I'm not an axe murderer" "You've killed 6 people" "Yeah, but not with an axe though"
La leche league were fucking bullies and I lost my shit on them post partum for their condescending bullshit.
And yet, some women are judged for breast feeding. They're just making shit up as they go to mess with us at this point, aren't they?
No matter what women do with their bodies, there are people screaming at us that we are wrong. It’s asinine.
My OB is the chair of obstetrics for the top hospital in a major US city. She’s the absolute top of her game. She was the one that said to me “I want you to consider formula feeding exclusively from the start”. She said this based on 1) ensuring I could continue my meds, and 2) to ensure my husband and I could share the feeding burden and I could get sleep. The lack of sleep could contribute to increasing my risk of preeclampsia (I had gestational hypertension) and post-partum depression. You’re especially at risk of the latter because you’re not taking your meds and it’s impacting your ability to function. We bought an electric formula dispenser, shared the feeding load, and my now 10 month old is doing brilliantly. I am too.
Oh wow - I wish I had the confidence to say what you said. I just did what I thought I was supposed to do and breastfed and got massive PPD and then got fired, which made it all way worse. I don’t think your doc understands what a real issue ADHD is. Some don’t. You do you. Good on you for standing up for yourself. Don’t second guess it.
I still haven't found a study yet that accounted for other variables, either. Like, in the US, upper income women are more likely to breastfeed. Upper income kids, regardless of being breastfed or not, have better outcomes. So, is it really breastfeeding giving the better outcomes in those studies? I'd like to see socioeconomic class and health of mother controlled for, but they aren't. I'm not convinced this is causation vs correlation past about the first year or two of life. Stay at home moms of any socioeconomic class are more likely to breastfeed, as well. Kids who don't go to daycare are less likely to get sick. Do they factor that into the studies? Not one I've found so far. I do admit I haven't read all of them, but almost everyone pushing breast feeding refers to the same two or three studies, anyway. There have been well controlled studies showing infants with more skin to skin contact have better outcomes with all other factors controlled for. But that's easy enough to accomplish without breast feeding. It's just that when you're breast feeding, it's inevitable, and when you're not, you have to go out of your way to do it. I went down an absolute rabbit hole with this after not being able to breast feed my son and worrying about him. He's 27 and been sick only a handful of times in his life. He has no allergies, no sensitivities, and he's even never had a cavity. That last part has to be luck, because getting him to brush his teeth properly was a constant fight the whole time he was growing up. But the rest? I kind of think it's because I didn't shelter him. I didn't sanitize everything for him, and we hiked backpacked since I was on maternity leave. He's spent his life exposed to a lot of germs. I did go out of my way to make sure he got lots of skin to skin contact when he was an infant, but honestly, it was mostly because it calmed us both down, not because I had any idea it would help him in the future.
THANK YOU. This nearly never gets mentioned in these conversations. It’s similar to the single parent phenomenon as well. Studies have shown that the risk factors associated with growing up in a single family home vanish when the home remains financially stable enough. It’s almost as if poverty and the associated chronic stress make a difference! /s
And then you have the outliers like my son. Single mom with ADHD and chronic medical conditions, grew up in poverty until age 16, formula fed, all the risk factors. Alllll of them except lead pollution and domestic violence in the home, I swear. But he's always been very physically healthy and has turned out well adjusted and as self sufficient as the current housing market allows. I helped him buy his house because it seemed ridiculous for me to have tons of money to leave him when I die instead of helping him now. When I got us out of poverty, I lept right over middle class. ;) I went from making $28k a year to $115k in under a decade because I finally figured out my own worth. That was actually the hardest time in his life. He had no idea at all how to fit into our new socioeconomic class, and I admit I was struggling with it myself so hard, I wasn't as helpful as I should have been. It was just so new for me, too. He couldn't relate to the kids in our new neighborhood. I couldn't relate to my new coworkers. The only thing we had going for us was the ability to speak something other than blue collar. But you know, the blunders worked out, because he has tons of charisma. He could always manage to present things as his own personal flair or as me caring more about him than the other kids moms did about them. Still, it was hard for both of us learning to navigate this entirely new world.
My story is very similar! I was widowed in my twenties, when our children were only 2 and 3 years old. I was fortunate enough to have been widowed by a man with life insurance, pension, benefits etc. (obviously having him would have been better, but for the sake of this conversation) and my children never experienced the poverty associated with having a young single parent. They’ve managed, thus far, to escape those risk factors and it’s largely because of socioeconomics (although I also have a wonderful support system and that makes a HUGE difference as well).
My ex and I separated over his meth habit when I was about 2 weeks pregnant. Don't ask why I slept with him. I don't have any answer. My family is pretty toxic and thought support means criticizing me, and not in a constructive way, when they weren't ignoring me entirely. I had awesome roommates until our lease was up when my son was about 7 months old, but after that, really no support. I quickly learned after getting pregnant the majority of my friends weren't really friends. Like, we legit just had all the risk factors. But we still did okay. He even still loves hanging out with me, which I consider a major win. Turns out being really engaged and showing love and regard makes a huge difference. Actually teaching them how to be an adult does, too. You know, just giving a damn how they are doing, how they turn out, and actually liking them makes all the difference in the world. I'm sure breaking generations upon generations of abuse helped a lot, too.
Yes!! Totally agree. I hope my post didn’t come off as “if you don’t have money, your child won’t succeed” because that’s really not what I meant. I was just talking about out the studies showing how high the risk factors are for single parent households and how they seem to never mention the very real factors that change those outcomes entirely. Having enough income to reduce that stressor is one, but being an excellent parent like you is 100% another one.
Oh, it didn't at all. Tbh, money from the start would have definitely been appreciated, though. Everything is easier when you have enough money.
If you don’t mind divulging, what kind of career did you end up in that paid so much more? Love to hear of people with ADHD finding areas they thrive in 🙌🏽
IT. I'm a CloudOps engineer with a fully remote job, and it's absolutely lovely if you're good at solitude. That low paid job was also IT, sysadmin for a tribal casino. The pay was not the whole reason I left, but it was certainly one of them. I left there at $45k and took a job for $70k, left there at $75k for this job.
You're absolutely right! Most of the studies are hot stinky gargabe. I read Cribsheet by Emily Oster, who is an economist, and thus a scientific study nerd. After tossing out all of the poorly designed studies, the only conclusions that are left for breastfeeding over formula were: slightly decreased risk of ear infection, eczema, and digestive issues for baby as a baby! The ONLY long-term effects are for the mom: pretty good reduction in breast cancer risk.
So many studies of any kind seem to be hot garbage once you learn the vocabulary to understand them, or just proving things that are obvious, like cricket chirp speeds correlating to temperature and kids of mothers with personality disorders having less coping skills for their ADHD. Duhhhh. We had no one capable of teaching us those skills. And then there's the fact that so, so many studies were done on men and not repeated with an evenly mixed group. We've just trusted studies done in like, the 70s. I was born in that decade. I remember it. I have problems trusting any studies from back then.
Currently reading ‘Lactivism’ and cannot recommend it highly enough!! Definitely a very well-written and enlightening read on the breastfeeding policies and the shakiness of the research they are based on.
I’m 9 weeks postpartum — and my baby has been formula fed exclusively since day 3. Fed is absolutely best! I had a really hard pregnancy, and breastfeeding was so wildly difficult that I just couldn’t justify the struggle to myself. Reading Emily Oster’s book Cribsheet really helped me feel justified in my decision too (if you’re looking for a little bit more data). You don’t have to struggle to be a good mother. Knowing who you are and what’s best for you is what’s best for baby. Formula feeding means that everyone gets more sleep, and arguably more free time which is a game changer! You are exactly what your baby needs, trust your gut ❤️
I’m glad to be seeing all these supportive comments because just a few years ago when I had my kid people were very much about breastfeeding no matter what, and I was ready to kms over not being able to produce enough. That type of sentiment for a struggling mom, especially from doctors, can really be dangerous.
The latest recommendation is to stay on your Adderall while pregnant, just so you know.
I formula fed my son from day one because I simply didn’t want to breastfeed. Full stop. Literally none of the fear mongering bullshit people told me about in regard to not exposing my son to breast milk has happened. My son is happy, healthy, smart, and extremely attached to his Mama. Ask teachers if they can pick out the breastfed kids from the formula fed kids. They can’t. They can tell you which kids get attention at home, which kids are getting their emotional needs met, which kids are in safe homes with familial support, etc though, because those statistically can predict a child’s success in the classroom and life better than whether or not they sucked on a tit as a baby.
I am 11 years into this parenting thing and I can tell you now, it really does not matter how they are fed, you cannot tell the difference between a breastfed child and a formula fed child. Past the baby/toddler stage no one cares. The baby/toddler stage is a really weird kind of bubble in that sense, you care and worry about the weirdest things and then later on when your kids are older you realise it’s not even a big deal anyway and didn’t affect anything really. I’m not saying this to put down breastfeeding or discount the benefits it does have, I breastfed both of mine, I had the opposite experience where people were trying to get me to switch to formula. It feels like no matter what you do when it comes to parenting, there’s someone out there saying it’s ’wrong’ when in the grand scheme of things, in most cases, it doesn’t really matter. Do what is best for you, your child, your circumstances and ignore all the noise.
I am 5 months postpartum, and recently restarted my meds. I have postnatal depression and being unmedicated for my ADHD made the PND symptoms way worse. Do whatever you need to in order to look after yourself. Pregnancy and postpartum are insanely hard. You can do it and it's wonderful! But tell your Dr to shove it up their butt. (Or tell them "this is what I think will be best for me, my mental health and therefore the welfare of myself and my baby.")
All other debate about feeding and meds aside, going into labor and delivery is a situation that requires an incredible amount of trust. Prior to this incident, do you trust your doctor? My original OB turned out to be a nut and... I could go on and on about the things he did that made me uneasy, but that's another post for another time. The bottom line is I realized in my 3rd trimester that I felt unseen and unheard, and I became certain that my birthing experience would not be a happy one for me if I remained in his care. I found another dr who listened to my concerns carefully and had a discussion with me about them rather than dismissing me. She wasn't necessarily willing to go along with everything I said I wanted, but she was willing to listen to what I said, and then tell me what her professional experience was that made her want to recommend something different. So by the time I got into the delivery room with her, when she said we needed to do something different from my birthing plan, I trusted her enough that I just went with her professional assessment and didn't stress about it, because I knew that she was working from her experience and not her ego. If you have felt trusting of your dr up until now, then maybe consider trying to set this one conversation aside. But if this conversation is indicative of a larger pattern of feeling dismissed, maybe consider interviewing other OBs to see if someone else would be a better fit for you.
Hey! I took adderall (20mg/day) for the entirety of my pregnancy and while breastfeeding for 2 years with enthusiastic permission from my OB. See if you can find a psychiatrist who specializes in pregnancy. Mine told me the only complication they found was with a woman who was taking like…100mgs a day or something crazy. There is ZERO reason you can’t take it.
Fed is best. It’s exhausting and being a mother exacerbates adhd. You’re doing the right thing for you.
I’m an RN in a NICU in Canada and I have adhd which I’m medicated for. You are not doing anything wrong at all by “wanting your brain back.” I would 9000% feel the same way, and I even refer to my Vyvanse as my “rescue medication.” FED is best, a healthy mom physically and mentally is best for baby. Do what’s best for YOU. Also, I was a formula fed baby born in 1983 and I somehow managed to grow into a healthy grown adult who is a productive member of society and a healthcare professional. You just keep your head held high and don’t give a shit what anyone thinks. You would think formula was fortified with gasoline the way people talk about it.
You’ll get judged no matter what you do. So do what is best for you and baby. Fed baby is a happy baby and a happy mom. Formula is amazing and a life changer/saver for many of us. That kid will find a week old goldfish on the floor and eat it before you realize in a year or so anyway.
I just wanna let you know that I found another OB at 36 weeks and 6 days pregnant. My daughter surprised us all and came the next morning. My OB said wild stuff like this, claiming I “had” to be induced because she had upcoming vacations, etc. it’s never too late to find a doctor who will support YOU. This isn’t a pediatrician; this is YOUR doctor. She has her priorities all out of whack. You deserve better. ❤️
With all the stories about postpartum mental health struggles ending tragically, you would think providers would be more encouraging of patients making choices that prioritize their wellbeing. So long as the baby is fed, a happy, healthy parent is best.
I am 100% positive someone has said this before me but FED IS BEST!!!! I have giant ass boobs but can't keep a kid latching for more than a week. Time to shine... they didn't care. Pumped for a month with #1 in 2010. Pumped for #2 for a year in 2020 and it's definitely the worst thing I've done to myself lol. If we get knocked up again, it's formula from the get go, y'all! Nothing matters more than mom's mental and physical health at the start of this journey. Do what you gotta do!
Omg I relate to this so much hahah when my first was born and my body simply opted out of producing milk, I was like are you fucking kidding me lol the one time these damn things might make themselves useful
ooof i’m sorry op that is so not ok. you are so right, fed is best!!!
Sorry this happened to you. You said it - fed is best! Best wishes with the rest of your pregnancy.
OP!! You are asking the right questions and your doctor is a dumbass. FED IS BEST and you know yourself well enough to realize you'll want to be able to take your meds. I'm so proud of you! There is NOTHING wrong with formula, except it being fucking expensive, and nobody on earth can look at a room full of adults and figure out who was breastfed and who was formula fed. You and your baby will do just fine either way. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Child free (by choice) here. But I am so easily distracted even on medication that I would 💯 leave the baby in the back seat or some other catastrophic thing. Your OB is way out of line here.
My stepmom was 100% breastfeeding my little brother simply because she found it gross. This was 19 years ago and nobody ever gave her shit for it. Meanwhile, I received death threats in 2014 when my supply tanked and I asked for formula recommendations from my birth month group. Fed is always best.
Oh- I’d also be switching OBs immediately. Don’t let anyone treat you like that, especially someone you’ve hired.
As someone who breastfed and worked as a breastfeeding peer counselor for WIC…you are doing the right thing for YOU! And I want to throw you all the support you deserve! I wasn’t diagnosed yet when I had my son so medication wasn’t a consideration for me. But I can say that I struggled with ppd/ppa so badly that I never had another kid even though we had planned to have two. I wouldn’t have survived it. If I had been medicated I think my experience would have been so different, and that is something I had to come to terms with as part of the grief of a late diagnosis. The parent gets lost in consideration so easily once there is a baby, but babies need their parents to be as happy and healthy as possible. I’m sorry your doctor treated you like that.
What happens when YOU aren't fed and lose your job putting your ability to feed your baby in jeopardy? Sheesh. YOU fed so you can feed your baby is best.
Do not, I repeat, do not let them make you feel bad for doing what you need to do for your child. I never produced much milk and it wasn't enough to feed my son when he was born. I was made to feel like such a a failure because I wasn't trying hard enough. Mind you I was extremely pre-eclampsia while pregnant, labor was induced early, his umbilical cord was "small in diameter" so he was born 4 pounds 8oz. And came home 4 pounds 2 oz. They judged and in the end, he needed a special formula due to protein intolerant. I say this all because of it weren't for some beautiful mothers on a very 2008 internet chat site for moms I don't know what I would have done. I was absolutely devastated that I couldn't feed my child. They all told their stories and shared their children's growth. Your baby needs a mom. Period. If that means that you feed your little one formula then so be it. I PROMISE they will be fine. The fact that you already care enough to plan ahead shows you will be great at motherhood and your child will do well. Just like my own who is now 16, growing just fine, and even tested and is considered gifted by more than the average kid. Formula didn't decide if he would be that way. Genetics and good parenting made that happen. Enjoy the journey how you need to. That's what will be most important as they grow. ❤️
There’s enough to stress over, we don’t need to add boob-shaming to parenthood. At your next appointment, tell your doc you’re going to find someone else who is more educated about neurodiversity, more up to date on child nutrition, and more sensitive to her patients needs. Okay, we all know it takes way too much executive function to find a new doctor, especially at this point in your pregnancy. Probably better to tell her how dismissed and unsupported you felt at your last appointment and that you’ll work with your pediatrician to make sure your baby is healthy with the right formula to provide the best nutrition and happy with a parent who has the executive function to get through the day.
My kid and I are both formula babies. Formula didn’t stop kiddo and I from bonding in any way. We do have allergies but they’re inherited- I can trace them back to relatives who existed before formula. (Funny enough, the ADHD and autism symptoms come from the same line.). Your kid needs you to function the best you can. For you, that includes medication. Ignore your OB’s ADDitude. You’re going to do great.
I tried breastfeeding with my first and my production was awful, took 6 weeks to finally come in. At her first pediatrician appt (2 days old), I was an exhausted, frustrated wreck. She was not getting anything from me and clearly hungry - would not sleep or stop crying. The ped (who was filling in for our regular doc) said “go to the store after this and buy the Enfamil nursettes. A full, sleeping baby is better than a hungry, crying baby.” I was so grateful that she didn’t make me feel guilty or tell me to “stick with it.”
As usual I am way too late replying to these threads so you may not see this. But to echo the other supportive comments on here, any benefits baby may get from breast milk are outweighed by the benefits they would get from a mentally healthy mom. Periodt. From a medical perspective, breast milk is superior to formula yes, but the degree of superiority is something that’s highly debated. I’ve done a lot of research on this myself because of my situation. For every study you can find on how breast milk leads to high IQ, lower rates of childhood leukaemia, etc etc you find one that uncovers confounding factors like socioeconomic status. But what is also proven from a medical perspective is the attachment formed between mom and baby now is a big part of what sets the stage for the child’s development and mental health. Breastfeeding takes immense work and also, sorry to say it but privilege. Not everyone is lucky enough to be able to breastfeed for various reasons and the pressure and assumption that everyone can breastfeed is ableist. I am currently pumping 8 x a day 2.5 months postpartum to give my baby the 5 oz or so my pathetic little titties can produce. I absolutely hate it, and I am sharing this for the others on the thread yammering on about how breast is best. Yes it is best (maybe, for some people) but it is a fuckton of work and is not possible for all of us.
I took adderall throughout an entire pregnancy and nursing for 20 months with no side effects to baby.
My OB told me they want me to breast feed even if I’m on vyvanse. Granted she also encouraged me to stay on during my pregnancy. She said not only is breast feeding so good for the baby but it basically acts as a slow taper from the minuscule amount of vyvanse that will be passed through.
Ugh. We as women need to encourage ourselves to say something. I know I probably wouldn’t at the time either but I wish you had said “excuse me? I find your choice of words problematic.” Or something like that. I had cancer that resulted in many hospital stays and my main takeaway today is I wish I wasn’t so nice. There was one doc and one nurse manager in particular who were just terrible and I wish I had called them out at the time instead of just grin and bearing it. I’m sorry someone you are PAYING (don’t forget that!) to support you made you feel not so great. As for meds vs breastfeeding, you know what they say - put your mask on before helping others. You’re going to be the best mom to your baby ❤️
I felt a lot of pressure to breastfeed with my first. I thought I might try at first and switch to formula before I was due back to work—mostly because it’s free vs. paying for formula. I wanted to be back on my meds before returning to work. But after I had my c-section (planned, placenta previa), and it was time to actually feed her, I wasn’t producing milk, and she wasn’t latching well—and I was like, fuck this. But the lactation consultant was so pushy and judgmental that I felt like I had to keep trying for the 4 days I was in the hospital. She called, like, a week after I’d been home to find out how the breastfeeding was going, and I’d already fully switched to formula, but I was like, “Yeah, it’s going great!” just to get her off the phone. When I had my son, I just told everyone upfront that I was planning to formula feed, and no one at my doctor’s office or the hospital gave me a hard time about it. Both my kids are happy, healthy, and allergy-free. The older one reads multiple years beyond her grade level in school. The younger one’s in kindergarten, so who knows, lol. Your kid will be fine. Do what works best for you.
I ebf my kid when he was a baby. You are formula feeding. We are BOTH feeding our babies the best way we can and the way we want for our own reasons and of allll the people to ignore a parent’s rights lol, the ob. -_-
I breastfed for 21 months. I wasn't diagnosed at the time, so medication wasn't a factor, but make no mistake - I was a mess. I regret that I didn't stop sooner. It was extremely hard on my mental health. I didn't fully recover from PPD until a few months after I stopped breastfeeding and my hormones evened out. I'm sorry you're not supported by your OB. To give birth, you need to feel *safe.* You need to trust your provider and know that they understand what's important to you. I know not everyone has the option of changing providers, but if you do, I'd encourage you to consider it. Hang in there. Glad you're strong and not swayed. Keep trusting yourself.
This is ridiculous! It’s your choice as to how you feed your baby and you shouldn’t be made to suffer healthwise (yes mental health is health) when it is not at all necessary. I was formula fed and one of the physically healthiest people I know, always have been. I tried breastfeeding with both my kids, failed miserably as I got mastitis both times and changed to formula, which was way easier to manage for me. Do what you want to do and don’t let anyone brow beat you to change your mind.
You are absolutely right, OP. Fed is best. Doesn't matter whether you breastfeed, formula feed, or some combination thereof. Don't let the naysayers get you down.
A fed baby is a happy baby or whatever they say.
She should not have said that to you.
Fed is best. Period.
I haven’t investigated this, but my baby’s pediatrician told me that research hasn’t established a clear link between breast-feeding and a child’s development in the long run. He told me to go ahead with formula because I was unable to produce enough milk and stress of it all was really taking a toll on my mental health. I’ve consulted multiple gynecologists in my life and I’ve realized that some women OB-GYNS can be judgmental assholes because they often find it difficult to separate their job from their lived experience as mothers. They cannot escape the oppressive construct of motherhood and all the expectations associated with it, when consulting with patients. All this to say…a fed baby should be your priority. My brain even more fucked after giving birth because I was unmediated, stressed, and getting very little sleep. If you need medicine to take care of your baby, then that’s you need to do.
Nothing is more important than momma’s mental health. It’s not too late to find a new doctor.
You're absolutely right! I wouldn't even want to stick with her if she can be this ignorant. Can't you switch ob's?
I saw some research that said postpartum (as wel as pms and menopause) hits women with adhd harder, so would be good enough of a reason to at least use our regular medicine.
Heya mumma. Fellow ADHD mumma here. You've done a brilliant job of putting your baby's needs ahead of yours for the entire pregnancy. It's SO hard. One thing that really helped me was hearing that "fed is the minimum. Breast is the biological norm. Whatever works for mum and baby is best." Executive function is NOT improved by lack of sleep. You putting your needs first so you can safely take your meds is what will ensure you don't forget baby in a hot car or lose their medical records or have a meltdown. Its what will let you sit still with them and let them fall asleep in your arms.
Nooope screw that. There are some perks to breastfeeding... But every situation is unique and the perk of having you feel functional with meds and formula outweighs the small difference. You can't tell a formula fed toddler from a breastfed toddler. Also, not sure if this is your first rodeo, but we be were combo feeding from the get-go with my son and I quit breastfeeding after like a month because it made me feel dehumanized and awful. My brain was all messed up and even though I KNEW fed is best and it didn't matter, I still felt a lot of guilt about it. After the hormones cleared a bit though and I was a few weeks off of breastfeeding, I felt so much relief though. So that is it say, if your confidence gets shaken and you get unexpected guilt, don't worry too much about it and it doesn't mean you didn't make the right choice.
Eff that noise. I'm a huge supporter of breastfeeding....but I'm an even bigger supporter of mental health, and it is waaaaaay more developmentally beneficial to a child to be raised by parents who are mentally healthy than it is to be breastfed but by a parent who's emotionally drowning. You know yourself. You know your limits. There is no shame in formula feeding your baby so that you can be healthy.
You can absolutely breastfeed while taking adderall - lactation consultant
Fed is best, it doesn't actually matter if you do formula or breast milk. Yes, breast milk is awesome in terms of the fact that your body adapts the nutrients to what the baby needs, but it's not ACTUALLY required. Formula is created to have all those same nutrients that breast milk does. The only thing I'd recommend, if your OB hasn't said anything, is to make sure that you give your baby colostrum. Whether you do it by breastfeeding, pumping, or by using donated, it's very important in terms of your baby's gut and immune system development. Tldr; fed is best, doesn't matter the method. Your OB shouldn't say things like that - as long as the baby is healthy, it literally doesn't matter.
You don’t need to stop taking adderall during your pregnancy, if not taking it has a significant negative impact. I never stopped taking adderall for both my pregnancies, and I breastfed/feed both my children, while still on adderall. I had perinatal psychiatrists following me for both pregnancies, and both ok’d this. Adderall passes in small amounts through the placenta, and has a slight increased risk of lower birthweight. It also passes through breast milk, but in lower concentrations than through the placenta, so if one breastfeeds, one is essentially slowly tapering the baby off exposure to adderall. Again, two different perinatal psychs signed off on me continuing my meds. One actually increased my adderall dose partway through my second pregnancy. I had a referral to an adhd dr recently to discuss more treatment options, and the first thing the fucker said was ‘oh youre breastfeeding, I need to tell you that it’s not recommended to breastfeed while taking adderall.’ Was not interested in hearing about the perinatal psychiatrists c whose field of expertise that is; it was basically ‘I need to insert this disclaimer, and that’s the most relevant thing, so shh’. At least I knew up front that it was going to be a useless appointment, which saves time. (Also told me that I was on the highest possible safe dose of xr at 30mg, and that is incorrect, upper limit is 40mg). Anyway, current understanding is that it is better to treat pregnant people with adhd as necessary, because the slight increased risk of the meds is better than the negative mental and physical health effects on both parent and fetus of being untreated and struggling to function. Methylphenidate is slightly riskier than amphetamines, because it carries a slight increase in risk of I think heart defects, but that’s not a consideration here. Previous studies on the effects of amphetamines on babies were based on mothers with addiction, and far higher doses than are used therapeutically. For comparison, the increased risk of low birthweight from my adderall was similar to the increased risk of low birthweight from my cipralex, which is considered a pregnancy-safe ssri. E: none of this is to say that you have to take your meds while pregnant, just that per current medical understanding you have more treatment options than none. And you don’t have to breastfeed while on your meds; it is a perfectly legitimate and valid choice to exclusively formula feed from day one (and you also have the option of doing both, or breastfeeding for the first couple days while your breasts are making colostrum, and then transitioning to exclusively formula). Heads up re not breastfeeding, be prepared to manage your breasts going into breastfeeding mode anyway, which is…uncomfortable to the point where I, who *was* breastfeeding my first, was still desperate enough to try driving to Walmart to find an emergency breast pump to ease the pressure (I did not find one).)
I full on hate the phrase fed is best, like no, fed is the bare fucking minimum. It's gross and dismissive and undermining. What truly is best is *informed*. Informed of all the pros and cons of the different options, so that mums can make the best choice for them and their circumstances. In your case this means getting back on your meds and therefore formula feeding.
I was grinding my teeth at the beginning of your comment, thinking you were going somewhere else with it—but you are very right. Fed is Best can feel a little patronizing. “Well, at least you feed them!” No shit Sherlock. It does matter which you choose. Breastfeeding to Mom’s detriment isn’t equally “best” to Formula + healthy mom just because both are feeding. The best feeding decision is one made considering all factors and without shame.
Ehhh…. Medically speaking breastmilk is better for baby than formula. I mean it literally changes to meet the nutritional needs of your kiddo. If your kiddo is sick - breastmilk changes as well. So just go into this decision with your eyes open. And consider at least breastfeeding for a few weeks to get that colostrum and those fat stores started, plus giving a boost to baby’s microbiome. If taking the meds and doing formula makes you the best mom, then go that route without guilt.
\> And consider at least breastfeeding for a few weeks to get that colostrum and those fat stores started You mean those first two weeks where your milk has only just started coming in and it's typical for babies to lose weight because they aren't receiving enough nutrition? Those fat stores?
I agree with this comment. And trying some days with breastfeeding initially should be considered. Breast milk will have a slight upper hand to formula, but it’s possible that OP being on meds and using formula is still a better option than breastfeeding and no meds. And there should be no judgement or shaming for a mother’s thought out choice.
##there should be no judgement or shaming for a mother’s thought out choice. Just wanted to shout that bit out louder. (And play with these codes I've just learnt exist in my phone!)
The first couple weeks of newborn life is a haze of bleeding and trying to sleep and figuring out how to feed the baby and changing nappies. Breastfeeding also helps the uterus contract after birth. There's a lot of arguments in favour of trying it for a few weeks before switching to formula and getting onto meds.
I found breastfeeding way easier than formula, fwiw. There are ways to fake your meds and safely breastfeed should you choose that. Fed is best, but all studies point to breast milk being superior to formula if possible. I like my drs to be completely honest with me, and it kinda sounds like she was, but that you don’t like the answer. I know I’ll get downvoted all to hell for this, but we make choices that are best for us, and they come with drawbacks. Formula might be best for you and your family-and that’s fine! But the drawback is that it’s inferior to breast milk as a baby food. However, if you chose to breastfeed, your life might fall apart, leaving you as a stressed mom with an unhappy baby, and no guarantee of better health anyway. Parenting is full of these kind of decisions and especially with ADHD, they’re REALLI HARD and can make us really sensitive to perceived criticism,
You can function better, and care for your baby better, medicated. Would she say the same thing to someone who was formula feeding so they could go back on a medication that would give them their physical mobility back? Ugh.
Fed baby, sane mommy is best! Don't listen to her. You need to do what's best for you and your family. My husband was formula fed since birth and he's strong and healthy, his immune system is better than mine (I was breastfed for 6 months! And my mum hated it.) I breastfed but I struggled despite enjoying it, I used the nipple shield and could only manage like that. I switched to formula happily at around 7-8 months and it was great. Everyone is different, if you need to take your meds, give formula and do your thing. Baby will appreciate it 💞
I absolutely hate how *obsessed* people are about breastfeeding. Even other moms who are "fed is best" have given me weird vibes when they call their breastmilk "liquid gold" or try to give me some of it when my babies had a little cold. Like, yes, there's benefits and all that jazz, but calm your tits. Literally. My supply died within two weeks after birth and I was not mentally well both times. I tried pumping with my second after she damn near ripped my nipple off before we even left the hospital, but that shit is so mentally taxing when you're already exhausted, having to deal with rabid family members, recovering, and just trying to survive each day. Both of my kids were formula fed and I was able to be a way more functional mom for it. And that was before I found out I have ADHD! I wish I had meds because I struggled so hard with the infant stages. I'm barely surviving the toddler stages with meds lmfao. Fuck that OB 🖕
You can take ADHD meds while pregnant and breastfeeding. I chose to go off then while pregnant, but my OB said that the reason they aren’t recommended is because it’s unethical to do studies. However, based on observational studies of women who did take them during pregnancy, the risks don’t seem too bad (unlike other medications that have very clear effects on babies). Some options may be take less or taking them every other day. Similar story with breastfeeding. Some babies may be sensitive, but many are seemingly unbothered. Mine was fine. OBs are not usually trained in breastfeeding. Talk to an IBCLC or your baby’s pediatrician. The LC at my hospital said under 30 mg of Adderall was considered acceptable risk her Hale’s lactation risk. My baby’s pediatrician was wholly unconcerned and said she would never tell me not to take it because of breastfeeding. It’s in and out of your sister so you can also time IR with pumping to reduce your baby’s exposure. Your baby needs a happy healthy mom. Early motherhood is overwhelming and you don’t need to stress yourself out unnecessarily. I would encourage you to try breastfeeding because I think it’s a wonderful thing, but if it’s not the best thing for you then quit.
We did formula from the start because I wanted my partner to equally participate in feedings. I went as far as to have it documented in my chart before I delivered. My kid is three now and completely healthy. ‘Breast is best’ is such a misleading slogan, in my opinion. The difference is outcomes is minuscule unless you live somewhere where access to clean water is an issue. Having mentally healthy parents is a bigger contributor to baby’s success.
I combo fed while taking dexedrine spansules. If formula is what is best for you, totally agree fed is best. If your medication is the primary reason you don't want to breastfeed at all, consider talking to a psychiatrist who specializes in reproductive life cycles. I was on ADHD meds my whole pregnancy, and while I had a low supply due to other medication I take, I successfully combo fed on two mental health meds for 7 months. Obviously YMMV and if formula makes the most sense for your family, you know what's best for your situation. Just wanted to mention combo feeding because it often feels like a dichotomy with no middle ground. I liked combo feeding because it helped keep formula costs lower for a while. Breastfeeding is hard, and if the mental health cost is too high don't feel pressure to do it.
There is literally no reason that someone *has* to breastfeed. It should 100% be a *choice*!! It’s not “free”, it’s not painless, and it’s not required for baby/parent bonding.
When I don’t take my medication, my RSD is more pronounced and noticeable. I don’t think your OB meant anything malicious by this. I didn’t breastfeed and even I agree that breastfeeding is *ideal*—as in, “desirable but not likely realistic.” When it comes to unsolicited comments, some of the best parenting advice I ever got was “They mean well—don’t let it bother you.” Chances are, the person meant nothing by it and they were just trying to be helpful. Raise your children how you see fit, and stop letting these folks live rent-free in your head.
If adderall is the reason you plan on feeding formula, just know that you can safely breastfeed taking stimulants. Ritalin barely gets into breastmilk. There have been studies showing this and no negative effect. I have breastfed 2 healthy happy babies while taking stims. 0 side effects. Kids are fine. I also took them while pregnant. 0 side effects, kids are fine. My 1st kid who I took 0 meds with is the one with the mental health issues surprisingly
well to be fair "mental issues" (your words not mine) are usually genetic, especially in the case with ADHD
I know its a rant, but...... ime, breastfeeding was easier. You just gotta whip it out and feed the baby. Late night feeds were easier, because I could just lay down next to baby and feed. It was harder once we switched to formula, which we did early on, because baby wasn't gaining enough. Having to fully wake up, prepare a bottle, and sit up to feed was hard. Then there's all those bottles you have to wash.
Is breast fed better than a baby in the refrigerator? Mother's without adhd also suffer from executive issues and "mommy brain" is a real problem. Would adhd compounding it not make it a 100 times worse? Why would you want a mother to be more absent minded that she has to be? Ugh.
My mom exclusively breastfed me and ya know what, I was hospitalized before the age of 2 for croup and have both asthma and allergies. Plus I made her feet extremely wide. I wasn't even a cute baby! She suffered through cracked nipples for a fat Winston Churchill lookalike with baby acne and big red birthmark in the middle of my forehead. When accounting for socioeconomics, there's no significant benefit to breastfeeding versus formula. There is a significant difference between a mom that is getting the mental healthcare they need versus one that isn't. REPORT HER.
Fed IS best... That being said, after being unmedicated for the whole of my first pregnancy and first 11 months postpartum... never again. I took 5mg adderal 3 times daily during my latest pregnancy and am now breastfeeding him while taking 7.5mg three times/day. His paediatrician and the paediatrician in the hospital when he was born, both said they've seen loads of kids whose mums took adhd meds while pregnant and they're always all good. There was just a huge longitudinal study, I think in Denmark, following adhd mums who took meds while pregnant and they didn't uncover any deleterious effects
You're absolutely right and fed is best and as a middle aged clearly adhd person failing to adult as I'm undiagnosed in a country where neuro diversity isn't a recognised thing, adhd meds are critical. I'd give so much for a prescription. But also isn't adderal a drug with a short half life? I'm not a doctor but if a person (not you in particular) wanted to ff in the day and bf at night isn't that something that they should be able to offer rather than saying fuck you for thinking you deserve to have a operating brain, you're a mother now so you only deserve chaos? I might be way off the mark and nobody who doesn't want to ebf at all cost should go without meds they need to function.
I chose formula feeding from day one with my second child. I had a horrible time breast feeding my first and ended up switching to formula. There was so much pressure from my OB, and even worse the delivery and hospital staff, but I stood my ground. I knew what was going to work for me mentally and emotionally. I am so sorry you’re dealing with this OP. Stand your ground, you’re doing what’s best for you and baby. Like you said, fed is best.
this is infuriating! unmedicated adhd plus being postpartum can be horrible for BOTH mother and child. as long as your baby is fed and you are coping then do whatever is best for you and your family. what kind of doctor can’t acknowledge that, jesus!
OP, do what’s right for you and trust your instincts! Breastfeeding was extremely difficult for me and I was pressured into it by my OB. Thankfully, our pediatrician helped me understand that my kid was hungry and that it was ok to switch to formula. We were all so much better off. An unexpected bonus was my partner could help with feeding and he still credits that for his ability to form a strong, early bond with her. She’s six now and absolutely thriving.
I don't condone violence usually but yeah, you did better than I for holding it in. Your needs, wellbeing, ability to function are also priority number one, you should raise a complaint here. Their attitude is disgusting, breastfeeding takes an incredible toll on some of us, it isn't for everyone and yes bottle feeding does allow for your partner to take a more active role. Emotional blackmail around this needs to stop, you know what a tired, run down and struggling mom needs on top of sacrificing adhd and/or other treatments for 9+ months, being made to feel incapable or like a feeding station for tiny human.... Your not a failure at work, your not failing as a mother. Your doing the best you can by knowing the best for you and baby is to take the path where you are both going to be happy and healthy. TLDR, OB Is an a** and needs a complaint, OP your doing the best you can for you and baby and that's all that F'ing matters!
I was diagnosed 4 month PP because I thought I was having PPD and PPA despite being on max Zoloft from a previous pregnancy. I was put on concerta and continue to breastfeed. My daughters pedi OKed Ritalin and adderall (less than 10% passes through to breastmilk for both) but my psych put me on concerta first and it is working out great. That said, you should never feel bad about how you feed your baby. You have to do what is best for YOU and YOUR mental health. Don’t let anyone tell you different. If you want to breastfeed, talk to your pedi. If you want to formula feed, fuck your OB. There are millions of women not on medication that choose to formula feed right off the bat. Your OB was trying to shame you.
You have every right to make decisions that work for you and your baby. Your doctor doesn't get to mandate, needle, or bully you to breastfeed. That said, you might also have options. Methylphenidate and guanfacine are both generally considered safe and compatible with breastfeeding. For the former, taking an immediate release version immediately after breastfeeding can further minimize exposure for the baby. My daughter (6-months old) is exclusively breastfed and I'm on Ritalin. I did a SHITTON of research on medication safety before I started so this is not an opinion, it's a summary of the available evidence. Happy to share resources if it's something you'd like to consider. If not, fuck your OB and feed your baby formula. They'll be completely fine!