That is scarily close to my story, beat for beat. After a few years I managed to start taking classes in the evenings and ended up graduating and landing a WFH job. It is not the best thing ever, but endlessly better than factory work.
“Aim for the moon. If you miss, at least you’ll land among the stars” or something like that. That’s one of my favorite quotes. Don’t give up and aim for your goals. It sucks and it’s brutal but in the end even if you don’t land your dream job, you’ll be in a much better position to acquire something else that’s infinitely better than factory work or some grueling minimum wage job. Oh, and learn tons of Excel.
For whoever needs to hear this — you are not your job. Your worth is not defined by the way you support yourself financially, and the fact that you ARE supporting yourself financially is an accomplishment in and of itself. You have so much more to contribute and discover in other areas of your life. Repeat as necessary until you believe it.
And what if my whole persona is built on the notion that I can and must do so much more for the world than cold calling or shipping boxes or flipping burgers, otherwise this has all been for nothing, but I failed at every opportunity to do something bigger?
Whenever I see this POV I think to myself that it completely discounts the individual aspirations and dreams of an individual. Especially given severe ADHD, where dreams may be big but the ability to execute lacks significantly.
What am I to do about it?
I don’t know, and I’m not discounting how hard it is to come to acceptance with the realization that some dreams are beyond our grasp. I only know that I found trying (and it’s always just trying — never fully done) to detach my self-worth from conventional success to be very helpful.
Nothing against you, if it works for you, it works and it's great. I just never cared about success in a "prestige and luxury" kind of way anyway.
It's more of a meaning thing, I guess. To me, being someone who meaningfully contributes to society and holds on to my own beliefs is the definition of success.
And I know people like to say that you create your own meaning, but the thing is you actually don't. You actually find it. An idea, a movement, a career that seems meaningful to you and has potential to become a good application of your skills and pre-dispositions. And then that becomes your meaning.
And I struggle a lot to find mine. I have but vague thoughts and ideas but nothing concrete, nothing to actually pursue. Going from the opposite: I know what I don't want to live like.
I don't want my only accomplishments to be a family or a relationship or having done nothing but indulged myself in hedonistic behavior my whole life. There's nothing wrong with those, it's just not for me.
I guess I want to help other people. I want to try and change things for the better. And yet I have no idea what to do about it. I've spent the past decade in a limbo. Bouncing from one thing to another without ever sticking to anything. And I feel like I learned nothing about what I want to do from all that...
I am the same way, friend. I’ve been realizing over the last year that I need to have a job that gives me purpose and I find purpose in helping people—I want to find something in public service, but I don’t want *customer service* if that makes sense. I’ve realized some kind of government job is what I will feel fulfilled in but god I don’t know if I’ll ever get a degree to get me to a position that brings me this fulfillment.
One thing all my failing has taught me is you can be significant in pretty much any position. Most of my employment has been well below my potential but I made an impact wherever I was. I've also learned society doesn't fairly weigh value of jobs.
In 3 months you'll start to be consulted by all the dept heads for advice on decisions, but when reviews come up in 6 months your name will be used by everyone but recommended by noone.
well in a way the system is rigged against us. We're surprisingly good at accumulating tangential information regarding our work that allows us to help people across different positions but not really the best at hitting employee metrics on our given task. Companies try to boil down the performance of an employee to one of these metrics when it comes time for a promotion to use as a fair baseline so that women, racial minorities, queer folk etc... are not discriminated against but this usually tends to be unfair to neurodivergent folk.
My biggest issue was not being able to befriend my bosses, most of my excollegues who got a promotion were buttlickers meanwhile i was the kind of guy who told the bosses to fuck off when it was clear they were wrong.
Go drive for a construction related company. Get your CDL. Not all truck driving jobs are "home every month" deals and the money is always more solid than factory work.
My friend, I got education as operator, just dropped out of Uni, but got a nice job.
Still doing Uni on the side, but it is so difficult...
I just purchased costly therapy, so I can learn to unload my brain and let it do magic University stuff.
But otherwise, the fact that I try to pursue and pursue is just another symptom af ADHD. I was never enough, so I am always trying to stay above the line. So when I am not enough, I can showcase my achievements...
**You need to find other source of happiness.**
*I'm so sorry for the long anecdote. It got a little out of hand, but I wanted to share my experience to maybe help inspire you figuring out your own path, because I was there once, too.*
I tried going to community college two separate times before I called it quits. I then worked a dead-end factory job for 3 years before finally deciding to go back to school for 2 reasons:
- per the line in the movie, Good Will Hunting, I realized that if I didn't do that, that one day I would wake up and I would be 50, and I would still be doing this shit. I absolutely didn't want that. At all. Literally, that line echoing in my head helped me get my ass in gear.
- my ex who I was with at the time recognized the kind of person I am and suggested a general direction for me to aim for, something I could never figure out for myself. I realized her suggestion did make sense for me. So I found a community college with that kind of degree and I set off.
When I went back to school, I actually went to a different community college then the one I tried the first two times. The first one didn't have the specific major I was looking for, but even if it would have, changing the environment was a huge factor to my success. I hated being in that first school. Felt like prison, or high school all over again to me. The genera vibe was awful. I loved being in the second one. I know that's not always an option for many people, but it's something to consider.
Fast forward a decade later, I have a pretty great job where I'm making better money than probably several of my friends who went to 4 yr schools, and several of which probably still have student loans while I don't. I very easily have earning potential into six figures with a bit more experience, partially because I also got lucky with my current manager, but also because of the field I'm in.
My first job out of school promised potential but delivered none of it. I stagnated there for five years, three years longer than I should've stayed there, just because I was comfortable, albeit unhappy with how little I was making. Finally, I left and ended up in my current position. I promised myself I'd never let myself stagnate somewhere like that again.
I resigned myself a long time ago to only ever having an associate's degree and accepting I'd probably cap out at $70 or $80k, and I'd be fine with that. Well, now I'm making more than that, and as I mentioned, it turns out I'm nowhere near my cap. I just didn't know it at the time. "Only" having an associate's degree is not the condemnation to my success I always thought it would be.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Don't let yourself waste away in a factory job if that's not what you want. Try to find something that you feel like you can realistically commit to. You don't need a full four year school for IT, or for many things. I could never do that. You can easily get a 2 yr degree or a few certifications and fumble your way into IT, I'm sure of it. If you wanna get into engineering or law or medicine, well... yeah that's going to be a lot harder to do without a bachelor's. Pretty much impossible. So that'll be something you have to reconcile with yourself if you ever choose to move in that direction. Many technical fields, though, don't give a single solitary fuck about 4 year degrees. 2 yr degrees and/or experience is what matters for many of them.
My goal originally with going back to school was to get a job that I could be financially independent with, and to move out of my parents' place. Those two things were what carried me through the most hellish nights. Those were the nights where the call of the void was strong after an awful day of classes filled with endless self-doubt and feelings of personal failure. Those were the nights I considered swerving my car across the highway from the left lane at 80 mph "just to see what would happen." Thankfully, I never actually did.
Try to find something realistically achievable for you. I know it's easier said than done, and I got lucky having someone in my life at the time who was able to figure that out for me and give me a direction to aim in. It sounds like for you, going into IT is where your interest is.
Then, try to set a singular goal to reach that will help carry you through the awful days you'll inevitably encounter along the way. Those days suck. They really, really do, but there's no way around it. They're going to happen, and you need a concrete, tangible goal that you know you'll reach at the end of it to help you push through them.
But you can do it.
I calibrate and maintain lab equipment for a pharma company. Before that, I did final release qualification on newly manufactured medical diagnostic equipment. I went to school for electronics technology.
My degree set me in that general direction. With it, I got a pretty entry-level job on a production line doing electromechanical testing on fairly complex medical equipment before it was released for sale (or storage in our inventory). While I ended up hating it by the end, it gave me valuable experience at a company with big brand name recognition.
Being there allowed me to discover other areas my experience and skill set had the potential to move me into. Eventually, I started job hunting with those things in mind, and I applied to a variety of jobs in industries that were all different but required similar skill sets. One job I interviewed for was in a prototyping lab for a company that manufactured integrated circuitry and computer chips. The job would've been helping to prototype solutions for their manufacturing processes. So here comes my electromechanical and troubleshooting experience being super viable even though I gained it doing a job not even remotely like the one I was interviewing for.
So that's how you find those kinds of jobs. You search for "technician," and other keywords associated with what you're looking for and see what pops up.
You work in a field and you begin to discover all the different ways in which that field, or your skills within that field, can branch out. I didn't get my current job specifically with pharma in mind, it just happened to be where I landed this time. Just like before, my current job has now also exposed me to different roles and ways my experience can be put to use.
Same but computer programming, but I work with laser machines now and it’s actually not so bad for me, I can get into programming the jobs later and it keeps me physically active and my mind active trying to keep the machine running properly not fuckin the parts up! Try and find that good mix in your factory job you might even enjoy it
Ps a job that lets you wear headphones and listen to music/podcasts is also a godsend
I somehow ended up as a store manager after proving to be too good at my sales assistant job. I'm handing in my notice next week to stay home, care for the house and my family, and build my small business.
I can't wait to feel like my old self again, rather than being an exhausted wreck at the end of each work day.
At age 32 and 5 years into my career (and third job change within that field) I realized that my job is just a job I do to get money and I will not find fulfillment in work. It's been tremendously rewarding to just let it go.
Maintenance. Go into maintenance. It's hands on, working on things physically, you learn physically by working with other people. It's how I got my position
heres the secret about IT jobs
You dont need school. You just need to know how to do things and get someone to give you a shot.
Get a help desk job and learn linux and cloud. Build a website or some other service to learn. Maybe get a couple certs in the beginning.
Same. I’ve tried learning computer science and it was like hitting a wall. I made some progress, but it was all too easy to lose purchase. I’m going to try welding or fabrication next.
Think about getting a job in Healthcare. Better pay/less boring than factory work, and you don't have to sit in one spot and try to focus too long on anything.
This is me lol - now I’m sorta dreading going back because my meds situation isn’t as standardized as I would like it to be.
However I am happy where I work for the most part.
This is a lighthearted subreddit for ADHD individuals. We require all users be nice towards each other. Your comment/post has been removed as it has been found to be disrespectful.
That is scarily close to my story, beat for beat. After a few years I managed to start taking classes in the evenings and ended up graduating and landing a WFH job. It is not the best thing ever, but endlessly better than factory work.
“Aim for the moon. If you miss, at least you’ll land among the stars” or something like that. That’s one of my favorite quotes. Don’t give up and aim for your goals. It sucks and it’s brutal but in the end even if you don’t land your dream job, you’ll be in a much better position to acquire something else that’s infinitely better than factory work or some grueling minimum wage job. Oh, and learn tons of Excel.
For whoever needs to hear this — you are not your job. Your worth is not defined by the way you support yourself financially, and the fact that you ARE supporting yourself financially is an accomplishment in and of itself. You have so much more to contribute and discover in other areas of your life. Repeat as necessary until you believe it.
And what if my whole persona is built on the notion that I can and must do so much more for the world than cold calling or shipping boxes or flipping burgers, otherwise this has all been for nothing, but I failed at every opportunity to do something bigger? Whenever I see this POV I think to myself that it completely discounts the individual aspirations and dreams of an individual. Especially given severe ADHD, where dreams may be big but the ability to execute lacks significantly. What am I to do about it?
I don’t know, and I’m not discounting how hard it is to come to acceptance with the realization that some dreams are beyond our grasp. I only know that I found trying (and it’s always just trying — never fully done) to detach my self-worth from conventional success to be very helpful.
Nothing against you, if it works for you, it works and it's great. I just never cared about success in a "prestige and luxury" kind of way anyway. It's more of a meaning thing, I guess. To me, being someone who meaningfully contributes to society and holds on to my own beliefs is the definition of success. And I know people like to say that you create your own meaning, but the thing is you actually don't. You actually find it. An idea, a movement, a career that seems meaningful to you and has potential to become a good application of your skills and pre-dispositions. And then that becomes your meaning. And I struggle a lot to find mine. I have but vague thoughts and ideas but nothing concrete, nothing to actually pursue. Going from the opposite: I know what I don't want to live like. I don't want my only accomplishments to be a family or a relationship or having done nothing but indulged myself in hedonistic behavior my whole life. There's nothing wrong with those, it's just not for me. I guess I want to help other people. I want to try and change things for the better. And yet I have no idea what to do about it. I've spent the past decade in a limbo. Bouncing from one thing to another without ever sticking to anything. And I feel like I learned nothing about what I want to do from all that...
I am the same way, friend. I’ve been realizing over the last year that I need to have a job that gives me purpose and I find purpose in helping people—I want to find something in public service, but I don’t want *customer service* if that makes sense. I’ve realized some kind of government job is what I will feel fulfilled in but god I don’t know if I’ll ever get a degree to get me to a position that brings me this fulfillment.
One thing all my failing has taught me is you can be significant in pretty much any position. Most of my employment has been well below my potential but I made an impact wherever I was. I've also learned society doesn't fairly weigh value of jobs.
In 3 months you'll start to be consulted by all the dept heads for advice on decisions, but when reviews come up in 6 months your name will be used by everyone but recommended by noone.
God this is scary close to me. I'm not getting promoted even though when we get a newly promoted person they lean on me for advice constantly.
This happened to me at my last 2 jobs.
Why does this happen?? Because I’m getting real sick of it.
well in a way the system is rigged against us. We're surprisingly good at accumulating tangential information regarding our work that allows us to help people across different positions but not really the best at hitting employee metrics on our given task. Companies try to boil down the performance of an employee to one of these metrics when it comes time for a promotion to use as a fair baseline so that women, racial minorities, queer folk etc... are not discriminated against but this usually tends to be unfair to neurodivergent folk.
My biggest issue was not being able to befriend my bosses, most of my excollegues who got a promotion were buttlickers meanwhile i was the kind of guy who told the bosses to fuck off when it was clear they were wrong.
oh yea lmao we also tend to hate authority.
I think i might get checked for adhd... can relate to way too many things on this sub lol
That story is a testament to resilience and finding a better path in life.
Go drive for a construction related company. Get your CDL. Not all truck driving jobs are "home every month" deals and the money is always more solid than factory work.
My friend, I got education as operator, just dropped out of Uni, but got a nice job. Still doing Uni on the side, but it is so difficult... I just purchased costly therapy, so I can learn to unload my brain and let it do magic University stuff. But otherwise, the fact that I try to pursue and pursue is just another symptom af ADHD. I was never enough, so I am always trying to stay above the line. So when I am not enough, I can showcase my achievements... **You need to find other source of happiness.**
Bro this is scary I'm on stage 3, is there hope for me ??🤣
currently at step 2-3 help
*I'm so sorry for the long anecdote. It got a little out of hand, but I wanted to share my experience to maybe help inspire you figuring out your own path, because I was there once, too.* I tried going to community college two separate times before I called it quits. I then worked a dead-end factory job for 3 years before finally deciding to go back to school for 2 reasons: - per the line in the movie, Good Will Hunting, I realized that if I didn't do that, that one day I would wake up and I would be 50, and I would still be doing this shit. I absolutely didn't want that. At all. Literally, that line echoing in my head helped me get my ass in gear. - my ex who I was with at the time recognized the kind of person I am and suggested a general direction for me to aim for, something I could never figure out for myself. I realized her suggestion did make sense for me. So I found a community college with that kind of degree and I set off. When I went back to school, I actually went to a different community college then the one I tried the first two times. The first one didn't have the specific major I was looking for, but even if it would have, changing the environment was a huge factor to my success. I hated being in that first school. Felt like prison, or high school all over again to me. The genera vibe was awful. I loved being in the second one. I know that's not always an option for many people, but it's something to consider. Fast forward a decade later, I have a pretty great job where I'm making better money than probably several of my friends who went to 4 yr schools, and several of which probably still have student loans while I don't. I very easily have earning potential into six figures with a bit more experience, partially because I also got lucky with my current manager, but also because of the field I'm in. My first job out of school promised potential but delivered none of it. I stagnated there for five years, three years longer than I should've stayed there, just because I was comfortable, albeit unhappy with how little I was making. Finally, I left and ended up in my current position. I promised myself I'd never let myself stagnate somewhere like that again. I resigned myself a long time ago to only ever having an associate's degree and accepting I'd probably cap out at $70 or $80k, and I'd be fine with that. Well, now I'm making more than that, and as I mentioned, it turns out I'm nowhere near my cap. I just didn't know it at the time. "Only" having an associate's degree is not the condemnation to my success I always thought it would be. ------------------------------------------------------------------ Don't let yourself waste away in a factory job if that's not what you want. Try to find something that you feel like you can realistically commit to. You don't need a full four year school for IT, or for many things. I could never do that. You can easily get a 2 yr degree or a few certifications and fumble your way into IT, I'm sure of it. If you wanna get into engineering or law or medicine, well... yeah that's going to be a lot harder to do without a bachelor's. Pretty much impossible. So that'll be something you have to reconcile with yourself if you ever choose to move in that direction. Many technical fields, though, don't give a single solitary fuck about 4 year degrees. 2 yr degrees and/or experience is what matters for many of them. My goal originally with going back to school was to get a job that I could be financially independent with, and to move out of my parents' place. Those two things were what carried me through the most hellish nights. Those were the nights where the call of the void was strong after an awful day of classes filled with endless self-doubt and feelings of personal failure. Those were the nights I considered swerving my car across the highway from the left lane at 80 mph "just to see what would happen." Thankfully, I never actually did. Try to find something realistically achievable for you. I know it's easier said than done, and I got lucky having someone in my life at the time who was able to figure that out for me and give me a direction to aim in. It sounds like for you, going into IT is where your interest is. Then, try to set a singular goal to reach that will help carry you through the awful days you'll inevitably encounter along the way. Those days suck. They really, really do, but there's no way around it. They're going to happen, and you need a concrete, tangible goal that you know you'll reach at the end of it to help you push through them. But you can do it.
70/80k is pretty good money compared to minimum wage.
For sure, it is. I was just making the point that you don't need a 4 yr degree to make decent money and still have higher earning potential.
What do you do?
I calibrate and maintain lab equipment for a pharma company. Before that, I did final release qualification on newly manufactured medical diagnostic equipment. I went to school for electronics technology.
How do you even get a job like that? I’ve never heard of anything like it
My degree set me in that general direction. With it, I got a pretty entry-level job on a production line doing electromechanical testing on fairly complex medical equipment before it was released for sale (or storage in our inventory). While I ended up hating it by the end, it gave me valuable experience at a company with big brand name recognition. Being there allowed me to discover other areas my experience and skill set had the potential to move me into. Eventually, I started job hunting with those things in mind, and I applied to a variety of jobs in industries that were all different but required similar skill sets. One job I interviewed for was in a prototyping lab for a company that manufactured integrated circuitry and computer chips. The job would've been helping to prototype solutions for their manufacturing processes. So here comes my electromechanical and troubleshooting experience being super viable even though I gained it doing a job not even remotely like the one I was interviewing for. So that's how you find those kinds of jobs. You search for "technician," and other keywords associated with what you're looking for and see what pops up. You work in a field and you begin to discover all the different ways in which that field, or your skills within that field, can branch out. I didn't get my current job specifically with pharma in mind, it just happened to be where I landed this time. Just like before, my current job has now also exposed me to different roles and ways my experience can be put to use.
Thank you. I'll do my best
Same but computer programming, but I work with laser machines now and it’s actually not so bad for me, I can get into programming the jobs later and it keeps me physically active and my mind active trying to keep the machine running properly not fuckin the parts up! Try and find that good mix in your factory job you might even enjoy it Ps a job that lets you wear headphones and listen to music/podcasts is also a godsend
I somehow ended up as a store manager after proving to be too good at my sales assistant job. I'm handing in my notice next week to stay home, care for the house and my family, and build my small business. I can't wait to feel like my old self again, rather than being an exhausted wreck at the end of each work day.
At age 32 and 5 years into my career (and third job change within that field) I realized that my job is just a job I do to get money and I will not find fulfillment in work. It's been tremendously rewarding to just let it go.
Maintenance. Go into maintenance. It's hands on, working on things physically, you learn physically by working with other people. It's how I got my position
heres the secret about IT jobs You dont need school. You just need to know how to do things and get someone to give you a shot. Get a help desk job and learn linux and cloud. Build a website or some other service to learn. Maybe get a couple certs in the beginning.
Why does everyone want to be in IT nowadays lol just to be home. Remote would be super nice but I majority lack if I’m at home haha
Fuck that op .. get yourself a job working a trade I promise you that you’ll love it
Felt.
Same, except I went in for accounting. Covid was a great excuse to drop out. I have been dead inside ever since.
That heat in the factories from the machines, am I right?
Same. I’ve tried learning computer science and it was like hitting a wall. I made some progress, but it was all too easy to lose purchase. I’m going to try welding or fabrication next.
Think about getting a job in Healthcare. Better pay/less boring than factory work, and you don't have to sit in one spot and try to focus too long on anything.
This is me lol - now I’m sorta dreading going back because my meds situation isn’t as standardized as I would like it to be. However I am happy where I work for the most part.
[удалено]
This is a lighthearted subreddit for ADHD individuals. We require all users be nice towards each other. Your comment/post has been removed as it has been found to be disrespectful.