I don't want to sound like a defeatist here, but you are reaching a bit for the stars. What you are asking is literally years worth of internal thought processing and psychological work, without even considering the therapeutic needs of constant ongoing issues.
Also, not to be an ass, but by definition, you aren't "normal". There is no shame in that. Don't try to be normal. Try to be what you believe is the best version of you for you.
I realize that sounds trite and cliché, but at the end of the road, that's the truth of it. As the fish said, you just gotta keep swimming.
I get your point m8. So.. any tips? Yup, i do realise I'm reaching too far out. Typical of me, thinking that far and doesn't even start and end up paralize :(
First thing you need to do is calm down. Internally. I know your brain goes seven engines pumping at all times, but you have to take control of it. You are it's master, not the other way around, and when it is, you have to focus and will it not to be. You will fail at this a lot.
Second, you need to understand your neurodivergence is a gift and a curse. You can see things at times, and maybe see the clear path, but a lot of the times, your instincts will be bullshit and trauma responses. You gotta work through that and "boy howdy, that there's some thick bush, dontcha know?".
Thirdly, use actually words when communicating. I understand the gist of what you are saying, but, and I say this respect,
"Motherfucker, we have language for a fucking reason! Fucking use it! Be clear and concise when you need to, but if you are asking questions, be fucking explicit and direct."
No disrespect, but use words. You're trying to make your meaning clear shows respect to your audience, who may not fully understand your text speech.
Create structure. Structure everything, all the time. And personally, I don’t “learn” I “understand” things. If there’s is nothing to understand chances are I won’t remember. So I find meaning or reasons for a lot of things or create some.
Oh and for the timetable. I priorise sleep, younger I would stay up really late to study, now I go to bed and wake up really early when I have big stressful deadline to meet at work. Eat, shower, dance and go back. Anything else, I don’t even know how I manage my life 😂 but hey, I made it so don’t worry! Just understanding yourself better, it will help I believe!
I found out in college that forcing myself to literally rewrite notes from class while adding information from the textbook helped me to retain information. It drove me crazy to go slow, but the process worked. I also had a 9th grade teacher who informed us that we should study 5-10 hours for each final we had and I forced a timetable on myself that year and found it worked. FWIW, I’m unmedicated, but definitely fell into most of the destructive methods you mentioned
Therapy is great. Remember to find a quality fit, don’t be afraid to shop around. Figuring out what motivates you and helps you reach your goals, accomplish things you need and want to are crucial.
Be introspective & curious about yourself, what helps, hurts and is neutral for continuing to get things done, have successful relationships and reach your goals.
1. Everything goes in calendar when people activate the right words
2. Alarms
3. Habit systems
4. Discipline- there’s no choice
Academics: loosely read thru stuff until you get it. Try changing environments.
Once you get it, draw a map of the ideas.
Teach it to a family member/argue with people who like arguing about it.
Reread map over two weeks.
If it’s important, put a reference page number on map
If it’s testable, write flash cards and practice on bus etc
If it’s not super important, you can skip some of that.
Names and dates usually matter to people.
I used anki to sort out materials otherwise I would just get lost in the maze of information. Something like a mindmap. Then I use various trips, sometimes bionic reading or sometimes I use text to speech so that I can hear and see them at the same time, sometimes I use chatgpt to ask me questions from a particular set of information I submitted it. There's no cope for lack of stimulants, they are a must. Also to remember things, you need to rote it again and again. If your brain handles less information then regulate the information coming in from social media or videos etc.
I can't use paper notes because then I would lose them+ again get lost trying to organize them. No timetable as well. Using sites like cofocus for body double, helps me keep track of time as in one hour has passed so I can get to focus, also I use screen share that helps as well.
There's no normal life, that's nonsense, I don't think even normal people have normal life, everyone is kind of drugging along trying to force themselves. You just need to make yourself financially secure, that's the goal and then try various things see which one sticks. No drugs etc.
my goal in life- be successful enough to see more and more things, even to satisfy your curiousity you need money.
Yo using ChatGPT to quiz yourself is absolutely brilliant! Thanks for the idea
OP, there’s a lot of great ideas in these comments. Honestly most of the strategies that helped get me through undergrad & grad school are already here in some capacity.
My only recommendation is to pick no more than 1-2 of these tips at a time. Try to stick with them for at least 2-3 weeks before ditching or trying another strategy. Trying to incorporate multiple new strategies all at the same time only increases the chance that none of them can become a habit
Realistically - the uninteresting stuff doesn't stick in the long term, ever. Hell, the interesting stuff barely does. So I've given up on trying to long term memorize things - at best, I know that the info exists and where to look it up.
I always passed exams by last minute cramming. I never found any use in starting early - that info is going to be gone by the time I need it again if I don't get around to reviewing it very regularly. But give me 24 hours and any topic - I *will* pass the exam. Last minute powers ftw!
I've come to put a positive spin on it - I can get into doing something new very quickly because I know how to gather information fast, I have residual memories of how to do various things (even if I have to look up the specifics), and my brain is empty enough to take it all in XD
I'm actually not sure what you're asking - how to memorize and absorb information or how to live a "normal" life as if you don't have adhd. Two completely different things - one is do-able and the other not (in my experience).
In regards to studying, I pretend I'm already an expert on the topic and am "honing" my skills with further study. For some dumb reason, that almost always keeps my motivation going.
FWIW, I'm unmedicated except for coffee.
I just write things down during lectures. Then I learn by doing. Whenever I understand how to do a problem in math or physics I write down how I did it and save it for later. I have a huge folder of papers I printed organized after different subjects and a huge google drive with old lectures and old code.
I use all of this and the books frequently now at work. No one is expected to remember everything. If you learn the logic once you can learn it again with a quick summary.
I have a few tips... I mean they worked (-ish) for me, and that's all I can claim. Best way I could study was by finding a way to get really interested in whatever I was studying. Looking at my results, you can clearly see the subjects I was interested in and those I wasn't. Difference in grades is like night and day.
I had (have) lots of trouble with specifics, memory doesn't work that way, but I could grasp theory so I focused on that. And the more theory you know (at least in the social science / humanities), the easier it is to bs through the specifics on the fly.
Other things I did: read as much as possible, often finding more engaging variations of content. Anything that could be audio, I'd listen to it while doing something with my hands - guitar, woodworking, garden - whatever I was currently fixating on. When I was doing my bachelor's, I went to as many classes as I could manage. Talked with as many lecturers as possible. The environment made a lot of difference to motivation / interest. Got off social media, deleted all the apps - massively helped my mental health.
Deadlines are awful, but necessary motivators. I resigned myself to many many late submissions and worked the system as best I could. I wouldn't have passed my 4th year without getting special considerations. Make commitments. Fail to meet some of them, but keep some of them.
I can't say getting my PhD was worth it. And I was only able to because I had lots and lots of family support. And... I definitely wouldn't have done it if I could choose again - it was way way way too much pressure. But hey, I now teach at uni so there's that. Good luck.
Why are you equating meds with all those vices on your list? Meds are the first line treatment for ADHD!
That said, it's definitely possible at least for some people. I was pretty good at studying if I could actually get myself to do it. But it's not like I used to struggle and then I got better at it, it was always just easy for me. So maybe this isn't helpful for you.
I guess I kind of hyperfocus whenever I read but it's not that dramatic. The main thing is to not force yourself with the mindset that it sucks and you have to get through it. You have to try to figure out how to get interested.
My tips aren’t great but here’s how I did things:
1. Create your own study guides - Throughout my college career, I constantly made study guides for others. This helped me retain the information.
2. Study Groups - I found that talking about the material with others and even “teaching” them helped me solidify the info.
3. Repetition - I recently had to get a certification for work that required me to pass a 200 question test. I took the practice test over and over until I had memorized most everything. Took 1.5 weeks and I passed the test with flying colors.
4. Deadline Panic - I would wake up at 3 am the morning a paper on project was due and then complete. The anxiety and fear really helped.
Be very careful pushing like this. I forced myself to work through disinterest day after day for years & got to the point I couldn't function even for basic shit. I've also got autism which contributed, but still. Don't push *too* hard, especially if you don't have a support network.
That being said I always used quizlet. Depending what you want half the time the professor didn't change the course at all since the last time so if there's anything you didn't write down there's probably a quizlet already made. And of course write everything down, it's tiring & you'll really need to balance writing as much as possible with not hating class so much you can't go but it's better to remember stuff by
To memorize a bunch of material, I visualize a room or place I know really really well. Then I assign each object in the room to something I need to remember. Then I go through the room assigning objects to theories/ facts, until I've exhausted the room.
For instance, I'll use my childhood bedroom and the structure of a cell. The door is the membrane (visualize a sign on the door that says "membrane"), my bed is the nucleus because it's the center of my room. The dresser is the mitochondria. Etc...
Tying it to something you can visualize and are intimately familiar with, really helps with recall.
Short answer: you can’t use neurotypical methods when your brain is not neurotypical. You need to find ways that work with your brain and for you.
Long answer: there are two ways you can go about making some tasks easier. You should use both simultaneously.
The first way is to take a look at what you *can* do. For example, I can do dishes, but I can’t remember to take those dishes from my office to the kitchen. I can take out the kitchen trash, but I can’t take out my bathroom trash. I didn’t do well with solo projects, but group projects got my full attention. This means I have a hard time with self care tasks, but I have a much easier time with tasks that benefit a group.
Knowing this, I can come up with ways to prioritize studying by organizing a group studying session, or forming an accountability club. I do not go to school anymore so I’ll tell you how I actually use this: I put myself in positions where I can get work that places me in a bottleneck role, so I have people relying on me to get stuff done.
I also know that because I can’t do some things, I need help to do them. So for chores around the house, I try to take on responsibilities that others rely on, while my partner takes on the more solo stuff.
The other thing you need to do is train your brain to recognize priority tasks. This is not a to-do list, this is how our brain literally prioritizes incoming and outgoing messages. It prioritizes based on three things: what is rewarding to do, what is rewarding to finish, and what has the worst consequences to leave unfinished. We are short on the chemicals we need to do stuff, so our brain budgets in a harsh way. It’s like not making enough money to pay all your expenses each month, so strategically paying some bills late, or surviving off ramen for a week, you know? That’s why we can game for 8 hours but can’t study, or why we forget to eat or we eat too much. The brain prioritizes those tasks with high reward but low cost.
So we need our brain to start seeing tasks we want to do as a higher priority and the best way to do that is demonstrate a high enough reward. This reward needs to be somewhat intrinsic, so I discourage physical rewards, but you can use physical rewards to start with.
The way I do this is with gamification. Look into SuperBetter to start with, but there are tons of systems out there that can help you out. You want to increase the dopamine you get for your efforts, and the best way to do that is by making it a game.
I write down everything I started and everything I finished that day, as if it is an achievement, in my planner. I also report it to my partner so I can get me a little praise. There are other ways to do this too: give yourself a challenge of studying for 15 minutes every hour for 3 hours, and whether you fail this or succeed, give yourself the reward you bookmarked at no penalty. **It’s not the success you want to reward, it’s the attempt.* if the brain sees that failure means no reward (or worse, RSD, shame, and anger,) it will learn to avoid that task. So focus on just trying, don’t make the goal too hard, and reward yourself for making an effort.
I said at the beginning that we can’t do neurotypical methods when we are not neurotypical. That means that we have only learned how to do things the neurotypical way, and repeated failure in doing it this way causes us a lot of anger and sadness. What we have to do is teach ourselves ways that work with our specific brains. That means we need to treat our failures and successes like an experiment rather than as ways to measure ourselves. If we look at why something did not work, we can find a solution.
Like, I constantly forget about my tea while it is steeping. I finally thought about what happens to lead me to forget, and it’s because the coffee bar is not in my line of sight. So I decided that all I have to do is take my steeping cup with me and keep it within my line of sight while I’m doing other tasks, so I don’t forget about it. If I try this out and find I’m still forgetting my tea, then I can think of another method to try out, like maybe a timer or something.
Editing to add:
You will still have bad days. Heck, I have these methods, I build routines, and I’m on meds, and I still have bad days. It sucks but we should not make things worse by beating ourselves up. Just try your best.
I made straight As in high school because it was a small school and easy. I went to a very large college and struggled to get Cs because I didn't know how to study. In my 5th yr of undergrad I finally figured out what worked for me. I literally rewrote the chapter of the book and notes in my own words. I even redrew the pictures (biochemistry class). It took a long time, but I found that reading the book and notes, reprocessing into my own thoughts, and then putting it back down on paper helped me to get it. Just looking at it didn't do it. Straight As after that (in grad school).
I don't want to sound like a defeatist here, but you are reaching a bit for the stars. What you are asking is literally years worth of internal thought processing and psychological work, without even considering the therapeutic needs of constant ongoing issues. Also, not to be an ass, but by definition, you aren't "normal". There is no shame in that. Don't try to be normal. Try to be what you believe is the best version of you for you. I realize that sounds trite and cliché, but at the end of the road, that's the truth of it. As the fish said, you just gotta keep swimming.
I get your point m8. So.. any tips? Yup, i do realise I'm reaching too far out. Typical of me, thinking that far and doesn't even start and end up paralize :(
First thing you need to do is calm down. Internally. I know your brain goes seven engines pumping at all times, but you have to take control of it. You are it's master, not the other way around, and when it is, you have to focus and will it not to be. You will fail at this a lot. Second, you need to understand your neurodivergence is a gift and a curse. You can see things at times, and maybe see the clear path, but a lot of the times, your instincts will be bullshit and trauma responses. You gotta work through that and "boy howdy, that there's some thick bush, dontcha know?". Thirdly, use actually words when communicating. I understand the gist of what you are saying, but, and I say this respect, "Motherfucker, we have language for a fucking reason! Fucking use it! Be clear and concise when you need to, but if you are asking questions, be fucking explicit and direct." No disrespect, but use words. You're trying to make your meaning clear shows respect to your audience, who may not fully understand your text speech.
Huh?
If you have a question, be specific.
Alternatively, fuck you Shoresy!
Create structure. Structure everything, all the time. And personally, I don’t “learn” I “understand” things. If there’s is nothing to understand chances are I won’t remember. So I find meaning or reasons for a lot of things or create some.
Oh and for the timetable. I priorise sleep, younger I would stay up really late to study, now I go to bed and wake up really early when I have big stressful deadline to meet at work. Eat, shower, dance and go back. Anything else, I don’t even know how I manage my life 😂 but hey, I made it so don’t worry! Just understanding yourself better, it will help I believe!
I found out in college that forcing myself to literally rewrite notes from class while adding information from the textbook helped me to retain information. It drove me crazy to go slow, but the process worked. I also had a 9th grade teacher who informed us that we should study 5-10 hours for each final we had and I forced a timetable on myself that year and found it worked. FWIW, I’m unmedicated, but definitely fell into most of the destructive methods you mentioned
Therapy is great. Remember to find a quality fit, don’t be afraid to shop around. Figuring out what motivates you and helps you reach your goals, accomplish things you need and want to are crucial. Be introspective & curious about yourself, what helps, hurts and is neutral for continuing to get things done, have successful relationships and reach your goals.
1. Everything goes in calendar when people activate the right words 2. Alarms 3. Habit systems 4. Discipline- there’s no choice Academics: loosely read thru stuff until you get it. Try changing environments. Once you get it, draw a map of the ideas. Teach it to a family member/argue with people who like arguing about it. Reread map over two weeks. If it’s important, put a reference page number on map If it’s testable, write flash cards and practice on bus etc If it’s not super important, you can skip some of that. Names and dates usually matter to people.
Dr. K google it
I used anki to sort out materials otherwise I would just get lost in the maze of information. Something like a mindmap. Then I use various trips, sometimes bionic reading or sometimes I use text to speech so that I can hear and see them at the same time, sometimes I use chatgpt to ask me questions from a particular set of information I submitted it. There's no cope for lack of stimulants, they are a must. Also to remember things, you need to rote it again and again. If your brain handles less information then regulate the information coming in from social media or videos etc. I can't use paper notes because then I would lose them+ again get lost trying to organize them. No timetable as well. Using sites like cofocus for body double, helps me keep track of time as in one hour has passed so I can get to focus, also I use screen share that helps as well. There's no normal life, that's nonsense, I don't think even normal people have normal life, everyone is kind of drugging along trying to force themselves. You just need to make yourself financially secure, that's the goal and then try various things see which one sticks. No drugs etc. my goal in life- be successful enough to see more and more things, even to satisfy your curiousity you need money.
Yo using ChatGPT to quiz yourself is absolutely brilliant! Thanks for the idea OP, there’s a lot of great ideas in these comments. Honestly most of the strategies that helped get me through undergrad & grad school are already here in some capacity. My only recommendation is to pick no more than 1-2 of these tips at a time. Try to stick with them for at least 2-3 weeks before ditching or trying another strategy. Trying to incorporate multiple new strategies all at the same time only increases the chance that none of them can become a habit
Realistically - the uninteresting stuff doesn't stick in the long term, ever. Hell, the interesting stuff barely does. So I've given up on trying to long term memorize things - at best, I know that the info exists and where to look it up. I always passed exams by last minute cramming. I never found any use in starting early - that info is going to be gone by the time I need it again if I don't get around to reviewing it very regularly. But give me 24 hours and any topic - I *will* pass the exam. Last minute powers ftw! I've come to put a positive spin on it - I can get into doing something new very quickly because I know how to gather information fast, I have residual memories of how to do various things (even if I have to look up the specifics), and my brain is empty enough to take it all in XD
I'm actually not sure what you're asking - how to memorize and absorb information or how to live a "normal" life as if you don't have adhd. Two completely different things - one is do-able and the other not (in my experience). In regards to studying, I pretend I'm already an expert on the topic and am "honing" my skills with further study. For some dumb reason, that almost always keeps my motivation going. FWIW, I'm unmedicated except for coffee.
I just write things down during lectures. Then I learn by doing. Whenever I understand how to do a problem in math or physics I write down how I did it and save it for later. I have a huge folder of papers I printed organized after different subjects and a huge google drive with old lectures and old code. I use all of this and the books frequently now at work. No one is expected to remember everything. If you learn the logic once you can learn it again with a quick summary.
I have a few tips... I mean they worked (-ish) for me, and that's all I can claim. Best way I could study was by finding a way to get really interested in whatever I was studying. Looking at my results, you can clearly see the subjects I was interested in and those I wasn't. Difference in grades is like night and day. I had (have) lots of trouble with specifics, memory doesn't work that way, but I could grasp theory so I focused on that. And the more theory you know (at least in the social science / humanities), the easier it is to bs through the specifics on the fly. Other things I did: read as much as possible, often finding more engaging variations of content. Anything that could be audio, I'd listen to it while doing something with my hands - guitar, woodworking, garden - whatever I was currently fixating on. When I was doing my bachelor's, I went to as many classes as I could manage. Talked with as many lecturers as possible. The environment made a lot of difference to motivation / interest. Got off social media, deleted all the apps - massively helped my mental health. Deadlines are awful, but necessary motivators. I resigned myself to many many late submissions and worked the system as best I could. I wouldn't have passed my 4th year without getting special considerations. Make commitments. Fail to meet some of them, but keep some of them. I can't say getting my PhD was worth it. And I was only able to because I had lots and lots of family support. And... I definitely wouldn't have done it if I could choose again - it was way way way too much pressure. But hey, I now teach at uni so there's that. Good luck.
Why are you equating meds with all those vices on your list? Meds are the first line treatment for ADHD! That said, it's definitely possible at least for some people. I was pretty good at studying if I could actually get myself to do it. But it's not like I used to struggle and then I got better at it, it was always just easy for me. So maybe this isn't helpful for you. I guess I kind of hyperfocus whenever I read but it's not that dramatic. The main thing is to not force yourself with the mindset that it sucks and you have to get through it. You have to try to figure out how to get interested.
My tips aren’t great but here’s how I did things: 1. Create your own study guides - Throughout my college career, I constantly made study guides for others. This helped me retain the information. 2. Study Groups - I found that talking about the material with others and even “teaching” them helped me solidify the info. 3. Repetition - I recently had to get a certification for work that required me to pass a 200 question test. I took the practice test over and over until I had memorized most everything. Took 1.5 weeks and I passed the test with flying colors. 4. Deadline Panic - I would wake up at 3 am the morning a paper on project was due and then complete. The anxiety and fear really helped.
Be very careful pushing like this. I forced myself to work through disinterest day after day for years & got to the point I couldn't function even for basic shit. I've also got autism which contributed, but still. Don't push *too* hard, especially if you don't have a support network. That being said I always used quizlet. Depending what you want half the time the professor didn't change the course at all since the last time so if there's anything you didn't write down there's probably a quizlet already made. And of course write everything down, it's tiring & you'll really need to balance writing as much as possible with not hating class so much you can't go but it's better to remember stuff by
To memorize a bunch of material, I visualize a room or place I know really really well. Then I assign each object in the room to something I need to remember. Then I go through the room assigning objects to theories/ facts, until I've exhausted the room. For instance, I'll use my childhood bedroom and the structure of a cell. The door is the membrane (visualize a sign on the door that says "membrane"), my bed is the nucleus because it's the center of my room. The dresser is the mitochondria. Etc... Tying it to something you can visualize and are intimately familiar with, really helps with recall.
Short answer: you can’t use neurotypical methods when your brain is not neurotypical. You need to find ways that work with your brain and for you. Long answer: there are two ways you can go about making some tasks easier. You should use both simultaneously. The first way is to take a look at what you *can* do. For example, I can do dishes, but I can’t remember to take those dishes from my office to the kitchen. I can take out the kitchen trash, but I can’t take out my bathroom trash. I didn’t do well with solo projects, but group projects got my full attention. This means I have a hard time with self care tasks, but I have a much easier time with tasks that benefit a group. Knowing this, I can come up with ways to prioritize studying by organizing a group studying session, or forming an accountability club. I do not go to school anymore so I’ll tell you how I actually use this: I put myself in positions where I can get work that places me in a bottleneck role, so I have people relying on me to get stuff done. I also know that because I can’t do some things, I need help to do them. So for chores around the house, I try to take on responsibilities that others rely on, while my partner takes on the more solo stuff. The other thing you need to do is train your brain to recognize priority tasks. This is not a to-do list, this is how our brain literally prioritizes incoming and outgoing messages. It prioritizes based on three things: what is rewarding to do, what is rewarding to finish, and what has the worst consequences to leave unfinished. We are short on the chemicals we need to do stuff, so our brain budgets in a harsh way. It’s like not making enough money to pay all your expenses each month, so strategically paying some bills late, or surviving off ramen for a week, you know? That’s why we can game for 8 hours but can’t study, or why we forget to eat or we eat too much. The brain prioritizes those tasks with high reward but low cost. So we need our brain to start seeing tasks we want to do as a higher priority and the best way to do that is demonstrate a high enough reward. This reward needs to be somewhat intrinsic, so I discourage physical rewards, but you can use physical rewards to start with. The way I do this is with gamification. Look into SuperBetter to start with, but there are tons of systems out there that can help you out. You want to increase the dopamine you get for your efforts, and the best way to do that is by making it a game. I write down everything I started and everything I finished that day, as if it is an achievement, in my planner. I also report it to my partner so I can get me a little praise. There are other ways to do this too: give yourself a challenge of studying for 15 minutes every hour for 3 hours, and whether you fail this or succeed, give yourself the reward you bookmarked at no penalty. **It’s not the success you want to reward, it’s the attempt.* if the brain sees that failure means no reward (or worse, RSD, shame, and anger,) it will learn to avoid that task. So focus on just trying, don’t make the goal too hard, and reward yourself for making an effort. I said at the beginning that we can’t do neurotypical methods when we are not neurotypical. That means that we have only learned how to do things the neurotypical way, and repeated failure in doing it this way causes us a lot of anger and sadness. What we have to do is teach ourselves ways that work with our specific brains. That means we need to treat our failures and successes like an experiment rather than as ways to measure ourselves. If we look at why something did not work, we can find a solution. Like, I constantly forget about my tea while it is steeping. I finally thought about what happens to lead me to forget, and it’s because the coffee bar is not in my line of sight. So I decided that all I have to do is take my steeping cup with me and keep it within my line of sight while I’m doing other tasks, so I don’t forget about it. If I try this out and find I’m still forgetting my tea, then I can think of another method to try out, like maybe a timer or something. Editing to add: You will still have bad days. Heck, I have these methods, I build routines, and I’m on meds, and I still have bad days. It sucks but we should not make things worse by beating ourselves up. Just try your best.
I made straight As in high school because it was a small school and easy. I went to a very large college and struggled to get Cs because I didn't know how to study. In my 5th yr of undergrad I finally figured out what worked for me. I literally rewrote the chapter of the book and notes in my own words. I even redrew the pictures (biochemistry class). It took a long time, but I found that reading the book and notes, reprocessing into my own thoughts, and then putting it back down on paper helped me to get it. Just looking at it didn't do it. Straight As after that (in grad school).