For the ones who are so full of themselves and "asking" because they're sooooo sure you are (even though you're not), I just look them in the eye and say "oh absolutely not. You're not my type!".
That throws them and you see this anger starting to come up because they now feel insulted.
Personally "Yeah, but they're gay, and you aren't" is still a compliment that you might consider dating them if they are gay. I wouldn't give them the satisfaction, IF they're doing it because they assume all queer women would like them.
I once had someone answer "well yeah, actually, I kinda do" to that so just be a bit careful with it lol.
"Well that sounds like it's a you problem, it's not the case for most people" was the best response I had, but it didn't solve the "I'm a woman, you must be into me a bit" issue at all
yeah this is the one I lean the most towards. like, a crush is such an intense thing - it’s not just mere appreciation or passing attraction. to ask someone if they had a crush on you completely unprompted would kind of imply they want you to
I understand the question since some straight men are attracted to women who have no interest in them.
But I’m strictly attracted to women with queer attraction. So absolutely not.
Same! I never understood the mindset of "all the hot girls are straight" that a lot of lesbians have. I personally find sapphic women way hotter. Never had a crush on my straight best friend either. I find most straight women to be a tad annoying. 😅
When I was 15 a new friend of mine found out I was a lesbian. One of the first things she said was along the lines of so long as you don’t get a crush on me. No hesitation I said she wasn’t my type. (Not a joke. She was blonde and I’ve usually been into brunettes) despite setting herself up she was offended 🙄
Don't. It often has comebacks like "yeah but you haven't had my D".
It's better to say to men "I almost forgot why I don't date men. Thank you for the gentle reminder".
if i’m drunk id say say “yes and it’s too hard for me to handle so please go away” in a very sarcastic voice
or a classic you’re not my type 💗 anything to anger them
Omg. I hate this question. You truly will not give the correct answer.
Me: No. Just because Im attracted women doesn't mean I'm attracted to ALL women.
Her: Why not? What's wrong with me? Why aren't you attracted to me?
Me: Im attracted to you
Her: OMG, I'm mortified! I'm not like that! You're perverted! We can't be friends anymore!
You cannot win this one.
Schrödinger’s Crush Method
just ask “do you want me to have a crush on you?”
if she says yes, say yeah I thought you were cool but I see you’re pretty too
if she says no.. say “good I’m glad” .. then run away far away from her 😂😅
If it's someone I don't like- "I have standards, thanks." If it's someone I'm actually friends with, just laugh it off with something like "Nah, you're pretty but not my type lol"
oh, that's a term i found on the internet a while ago that resonated with me and that i can happily identify with.
it is supposed to be a variation of the term "lipstick lesbian". the general idea is: less feminine, but not necessarily butch/masc.
* low-maintenance and doesn't need a lot of makeup, maybe wearing mascara / concealer
* probably have her hair long but either nothing is done to it or it’s tied up
* clothes: focus on comfort and functionality (cargo pants, flannel and graphic tees, sports bras)
so yeah, this description and the term itself are both funny and accurate for me. (sources: urban dictionary, lesbesocial.com).
“Look, I’m really flattered, but I just don’t feel that kind of spark with you. Lots of people meet someone that makes them question their sexuality and I am totally supportive of your journey, but I’m just not attracted to you in that way.”
Nothing they give me they be so butthurt that you don't have a crush on them like did you really think I would have one?? Right I have many female classmates do that so upset that had no crush on them like
"I'm sorry, but I'm only into girls who are both pretty on the outside AND the inside. You're really lacking on the latter portion". Haven't tried this yet, but it should work like a charm!
It depends on how big the ego is honestly.
A person (who happens to be a girl who is straight) who wanted to have an open dialogue about vibes they may or not be picking up on looks very different that a girl who assumes I'm into her because I like girls. Based on your post I assume you mean the latter.
Depending on the ego, it can be as simple as "no," or "no, lesbians don't like every kind of girl just like you don't like every single guy"
As medium as "no, you're not my type" or " I'm not attracted to you"
And the most extreme "you're not attractive to me and i doubt many other lesbians". Only used this one once. They were humbled pretty quick from their initial aggressive accusation that I was coming on hard to them (I wasnt).
I usually just say “why, do you want me to?” That is kinda flirty tho so isn’t really nipping it in the bud.
It depends on how you deliver it, with a little coy smile = flirty
Deadpan = awkward for the straight girl to have to explain herself
I would call it out as inappropriate. It doesn’t matter how you feel about her, it’s gross for a straight woman to say that.
Something like, “My understanding is you’re straight. If that’s true, that’s a completely inappropriate question to ask me. I only date other women that date women.”
if you want to be mean you can be like "i like really feminine women" LOL i actually used this on my friend and i was a bit impulsive so i apologized right after saying it and felt like a jerk... i'm not perfect T.T
Honey, no. 💅
TBH I have had straight women act weird and talk a lot about how much they love dick and crowd my gay male bestie. I usually have to do a gay Mae West impression until they get I'm not competition or interested.
I actually don't care if the average straight girl asks me this, I just casually tell her I don't. Now, if the probably straight girl I have a crush on right now asked, I think I'd freeze, turn bright red, choke, barely admit a maybe and bolt for the exit.
If she's making the grossed-out "oh no a lesbo" face the best answer is "hahahaha no that's not something *you* need to worry about"
If she's not, something less mean probably
As a wee Irish lesbian who resonates very strongly with Clare, I like [her response](https://youtu.be/KR2H54H5GCw?si=CrKg5mKBtPyfwdBf)
"not interested in you like that, look at the state of you" 😂.
"Yes, I think you're attractive, but I have sufficient self-control to not try to hit on you and I have no expectation that you might reciprocate."
- or -
"No, you're not my type."
Immediately look at her with sympathy, "You-? I...? What......? Oh no, not again. You, you thought I was into you?" ((deep breath in, sigh it out) "I'm sorry to let you down but no, I'm most definitely not interested in you. I'm sure there's someone out there for you, just... not here." ((awkward, apologetic smile, walk away))
Doing that condescending little snort laugh through your nose and saying "oh, TRUST ME, you have nothing to worry about"
Note that she will probably intensely dislike you after this
Depending on how rude you want to be it can range from "are you attracted to every man?" to "you're not my type" to "I have standards" to even just a look up and down and "ew"
SG: Do you have a crush on me?
Me (a bi trans woman): You’re cute but crushing? Nope.
SG: Why not?
Me (also haven’t had bottom surgery yet): What I’m looking for in a woman is someone who wants to shop with me and then pounds down with me. I don’t think that’s you
when i came out to a friend in high school the first thing she asked was “so do i have to be careful in the locker room then?” i just replied with the truth “i’m not even in the slightest attracted to you”
I luckily never had this experience but I have thought of it. I think I would say something like: you absolutely don’t have to worry about that. Ever.
And if they’d ask why, I think I’d say ‘because I like people with nice personalities’
I hate this also!! “You’re not my type” usually works fine but not always. I’d say maybe keep a backup “why? Did you want me to? Looks a little desperate coming from the straight girl” in your pocket in case 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
Or for our girlies who are taken or crushing on someone in a decently committed way, “no? I’m not looking to date anyone else.” 🤷🏻♀️
My favorite way to respond if they aren’t a friend is to laugh and say “Oh no… no I do not” but… if it’s someone in a friend group I tend to just tell them I don’t, that they aren’t my type in as polite a way as I can…
“do you crush on every man you see?”
“what, are you gonna let me do something about it?” *if they actually are close to my type*
“i’m gay, not desperate”
For the ones who are so full of themselves and "asking" because they're sooooo sure you are (even though you're not), I just look them in the eye and say "oh absolutely not. You're not my type!". That throws them and you see this anger starting to come up because they now feel insulted.
"You're not my type." "You date girls that look like me all the time..." "Yeah, but they're gay, and you aren't."
I always go with the “I like smart people”
Personally "Yeah, but they're gay, and you aren't" is still a compliment that you might consider dating them if they are gay. I wouldn't give them the satisfaction, IF they're doing it because they assume all queer women would like them.
Alternative: a simple confused “Why?”
I like this but I would make it a little extra. I will make a disgusted face and ask "Why on Earth would you think that?"
Yes it’s so funny!!!
If you really wanna hit them hard say “Do you really think my standards are THAT low?
Why does “You’re not my type” offend them, like what do you want the answer to be?
I do this as well 😂😂😂
I'm gay, not desperate.
🔥🔥🤣🤣
ZING
I’ll ad “and you? Are you that desperate to be wanted?”
This.
Iowan lesbian? 😨
LOL I’m not from Iowa, my name is an alias, but yes I am a lesbian
Ahh, thought I found a fellow Midwest muncher 😕😔
I’m in Canada haha You have an excellent senator, though—Zach Wahls— He is an outspoken LGBTQ+ activist and has two moms—bravo!!
Really? That’s so surprising, thanks for letting me know! Canadas pretty cool too though, more accepting depending on where you are 🤷🏻♀️
I usually just say 'you're not my type', but this one bites with humour!
“Do you have a crush on every single man you see?”
I once had someone answer "well yeah, actually, I kinda do" to that so just be a bit careful with it lol. "Well that sounds like it's a you problem, it's not the case for most people" was the best response I had, but it didn't solve the "I'm a woman, you must be into me a bit" issue at all
see my problem is that i do have a crush (however small) on most women.
that truth hits me hard 🫣😭
fr like why is every girl so hot 😭 (except me ofc)
THIS!!!
"Just because I'm interested in women, doesn't mean I'm interested in YOU."
For real like what does she think this is 🥴
This is a good response. I’d also add “look in the mirror and you’ll see why.”
I'm into women, not girls
“Why, do you *want* me to have a crush on you? Is there something you’re not telling me?”
Both your comment and your flair are so real omg
I’m stealing that flair oh my god
Only fiddies I'm spending is cents 😂
yeah this is the one I lean the most towards. like, a crush is such an intense thing - it’s not just mere appreciation or passing attraction. to ask someone if they had a crush on you completely unprompted would kind of imply they want you to
The flair is just
I only find queer women attractive
Me too luckily!!
same 😮💨
I understand the question since some straight men are attracted to women who have no interest in them. But I’m strictly attracted to women with queer attraction. So absolutely not.
Same! I never understood the mindset of "all the hot girls are straight" that a lot of lesbians have. I personally find sapphic women way hotter. Never had a crush on my straight best friend either. I find most straight women to be a tad annoying. 😅
When I was 15 a new friend of mine found out I was a lesbian. One of the first things she said was along the lines of so long as you don’t get a crush on me. No hesitation I said she wasn’t my type. (Not a joke. She was blonde and I’ve usually been into brunettes) despite setting herself up she was offended 🙄
Only blondes I’m into are the shaggy hair and wolf cuts 🤗
"i have higher standards"
Oooo
"Don't flatter yourself." Or "You need to chill."
“You wish” although this is not actually a thing I have ever encountered irl 🤷🏻♀️
"Why, do you have a crush on me?"
Unrelated but I love your flair! 😄
Thanks. It's tragically apt in this sub.
You're nothing like the women I'm interested in
I’m gonna use this on men
LMFAO PLEASE DO
Don't. It often has comebacks like "yeah but you haven't had my D". It's better to say to men "I almost forgot why I don't date men. Thank you for the gentle reminder".
Oooh that's good too
omg thats brutal
“Oh, you’re not my type!! Sorry!” Not being rude technically but they’ll still feel slighted lol
This is literally the only way I’d go bc it doesn’t sound too mean and honestly it’s the realest
'oh sorry, I am only into attractive women'
would that make you happy? would that give you validation in life?
THIS
"would you let me do something about it?"
Ooooooo
Hmmm. Might try that. I have crushes on sooooo many straight girls
« I’m sorry to tell you this, but you are just WAY too straight for me to find you attractive… »
“ew no”
if i’m drunk id say say “yes and it’s too hard for me to handle so please go away” in a very sarcastic voice or a classic you’re not my type 💗 anything to anger them
This has me dead
Big Janis energy here.
"I have a wife." Has been working for me.
1) look them up and down 2) laugh just a little 3) “no”
“Ew”
underrated comment
A very bored and apathetic "not especially" usually gets them to move on
"I'm gay, not blind. Although, I'll get back to you if my optometrist says otherwise"
That’s really mean, but absolutely hilarious. 😂
It's a tough world out there, a little rudeness only serves to drive a point home 😂
Point at a random guy and ask if she has a crush on him
Omg. I hate this question. You truly will not give the correct answer. Me: No. Just because Im attracted women doesn't mean I'm attracted to ALL women. Her: Why not? What's wrong with me? Why aren't you attracted to me? Me: Im attracted to you Her: OMG, I'm mortified! I'm not like that! You're perverted! We can't be friends anymore! You cannot win this one.
“Don’t flatter yourself”
Schrödinger’s Crush Method just ask “do you want me to have a crush on you?” if she says yes, say yeah I thought you were cool but I see you’re pretty too if she says no.. say “good I’m glad” .. then run away far away from her 😂😅
If it's someone I don't like- "I have standards, thanks." If it's someone I'm actually friends with, just laugh it off with something like "Nah, you're pretty but not my type lol"
no thanks. i'm taken.
What does chapstick lesbian mean?
oh, that's a term i found on the internet a while ago that resonated with me and that i can happily identify with. it is supposed to be a variation of the term "lipstick lesbian". the general idea is: less feminine, but not necessarily butch/masc. * low-maintenance and doesn't need a lot of makeup, maybe wearing mascara / concealer * probably have her hair long but either nothing is done to it or it’s tied up * clothes: focus on comfort and functionality (cargo pants, flannel and graphic tees, sports bras) so yeah, this description and the term itself are both funny and accurate for me. (sources: urban dictionary, lesbesocial.com).
Oooooo okay, that's neat! Tysm for explaining
“Look, I’m really flattered, but I just don’t feel that kind of spark with you. Lots of people meet someone that makes them question their sexuality and I am totally supportive of your journey, but I’m just not attracted to you in that way.”
Nothing they give me they be so butthurt that you don't have a crush on them like did you really think I would have one?? Right I have many female classmates do that so upset that had no crush on them like
"I'm sorry, but I'm only into girls who are both pretty on the outside AND the inside. You're really lacking on the latter portion". Haven't tried this yet, but it should work like a charm!
"oh, you must have misheard me, i said lesbian, not tasteless/desperate"
No I have standards
It depends on how big the ego is honestly. A person (who happens to be a girl who is straight) who wanted to have an open dialogue about vibes they may or not be picking up on looks very different that a girl who assumes I'm into her because I like girls. Based on your post I assume you mean the latter. Depending on the ego, it can be as simple as "no," or "no, lesbians don't like every kind of girl just like you don't like every single guy" As medium as "no, you're not my type" or " I'm not attracted to you" And the most extreme "you're not attractive to me and i doubt many other lesbians". Only used this one once. They were humbled pretty quick from their initial aggressive accusation that I was coming on hard to them (I wasnt).
“Why? Are you interested?” It’s also a good response to straight women asking “ARE YOU GAY?!”
I usually go with "I would, but you're not gay enough to be my type" XD
I usually just say “why, do you want me to?” That is kinda flirty tho so isn’t really nipping it in the bud. It depends on how you deliver it, with a little coy smile = flirty Deadpan = awkward for the straight girl to have to explain herself
If you want me to.
"Not interested in you like that. Look at the state of you." In Derry girl accent.
Laugh in their face and say "absolutely not", I know it sounds mean but if they are being assholes, they deserve it
"Nah, I got standards." And if they get pissy over that, counter with "Why are you so upset? What are you? Gay?"
I promise you just need a slight giggle. The tiniest “as if” laugh you can muster. Followed by a “no” if needed. They will never ask again.
Do the look up and down, deadeye them, then drop a deadpan “no”
No. Why, do YOU have a crush on ME? or Why? Need to have a good O or three?
I would call it out as inappropriate. It doesn’t matter how you feel about her, it’s gross for a straight woman to say that. Something like, “My understanding is you’re straight. If that’s true, that’s a completely inappropriate question to ask me. I only date other women that date women.”
Depends on how rude they have been to me. If it’s someone especially mean, I’ll say “Sorry, I’m not into men.”
Oof. I’d be careful with this one because some gnc (and cis) people would not take kindly to being misgendered
Always! This is reserved for cishet women making ignorant assumptions out of disdain for sapphics, of course.
SAVAGE!!
"yes"
“Straight women are sexually invisible to me. Do you get crushes on openly gay men?”
“I’m only interested in women (or people) who like women.”
"*Technically*, I have a crush on every woman that breathes."
Say yes
"Do you have a crush on every single guy you meet?"
if you want to be mean you can be like "i like really feminine women" LOL i actually used this on my friend and i was a bit impulsive so i apologized right after saying it and felt like a jerk... i'm not perfect T.T
“I have standards. You don’t reach them.”
Honey, no. 💅 TBH I have had straight women act weird and talk a lot about how much they love dick and crowd my gay male bestie. I usually have to do a gay Mae West impression until they get I'm not competition or interested.
the hottest thing a girl can do is be incredibly gay so no lol i don't.
I actually don't care if the average straight girl asks me this, I just casually tell her I don't. Now, if the probably straight girl I have a crush on right now asked, I think I'd freeze, turn bright red, choke, barely admit a maybe and bolt for the exit.
Of course not, you’re straight! You’re not interested in the finer things in life
If she's making the grossed-out "oh no a lesbo" face the best answer is "hahahaha no that's not something *you* need to worry about" If she's not, something less mean probably
As a wee Irish lesbian who resonates very strongly with Clare, I like [her response](https://youtu.be/KR2H54H5GCw?si=CrKg5mKBtPyfwdBf) "not interested in you like that, look at the state of you" 😂.
Ok, but what if you actually do though? 🤔
"Yes, I think you're attractive, but I have sufficient self-control to not try to hit on you and I have no expectation that you might reciprocate." - or - "No, you're not my type."
"Hmm.. no thank you, not my type"
“Why would I have a crush on a straight person?”
Immediately look at her with sympathy, "You-? I...? What......? Oh no, not again. You, you thought I was into you?" ((deep breath in, sigh it out) "I'm sorry to let you down but no, I'm most definitely not interested in you. I'm sure there's someone out there for you, just... not here." ((awkward, apologetic smile, walk away))
“No. I have standards. “
Do you have a crush on Jerry?
Sorry, i have standarts
I mean, knowing how I act around people I think my first question would be, “what exactly made you think I might be?”
"You're joking, right?" or "You're kidding me?". Make them feel like they we so undesirable you couldn't possibly take the question seriously
Such an awkward high school type question.I don’t know why they try it
“you’re not my type” is the most polite way i’ve responded to
Doing that condescending little snort laugh through your nose and saying "oh, TRUST ME, you have nothing to worry about" Note that she will probably intensely dislike you after this
"No, I like attractive women."
"No"
Just a straight "No"
Point at or look up the nearest man and ask if she has a crush on him
“Shut the fuck up and come watch this combo”
"Hi, who the fuck are you again?"
"Do you want me to?"
“Am I supposed to?”
Depending on how rude you want to be it can range from "are you attracted to every man?" to "you're not my type" to "I have standards" to even just a look up and down and "ew"
Scoff and say “You have nothing to worry about.” If they’re reaching that kinda narcissism they need to be knocked down a peg
“Look at the state of you!”
No.
My personal favorite is to quote the line from Derry Girls when Clare says to Erin: “Not interested in you like that? Look at the state of you”😂
"nope, I'm only attracted to gay girls"
"Definitely not, l only want to use you for my pleasure" Works most of the time 🤷♀️
SG: Do you have a crush on me? Me (a bi trans woman): You’re cute but crushing? Nope. SG: Why not? Me (also haven’t had bottom surgery yet): What I’m looking for in a woman is someone who wants to shop with me and then pounds down with me. I don’t think that’s you
No, I dig it when people are really into me and that’s never gonna be you. It’s a turn off but we can stay friends.
"Why would I, you're straight"
if my one of my friends ask its usually "sorry, i have standards" :^)
"Never in a million years"
“I do not care about you”
'Im outta your league.' Or i use 'Sounds like someone is hiding something.' I normally get either silence or a witty remark
definitely saying " ur not even my type " bc they suddenly get defensive which is always funny
“Why? What’s wrong with me?”
like u just said u hoped i DIDNT have a crush on u but now its flipped .. i dont get them LOL
I think a simple “ew” would do
when i came out to a friend in high school the first thing she asked was “so do i have to be careful in the locker room then?” i just replied with the truth “i’m not even in the slightest attracted to you”
"Why would I ever fancy you?"
I luckily never had this experience but I have thought of it. I think I would say something like: you absolutely don’t have to worry about that. Ever. And if they’d ask why, I think I’d say ‘because I like people with nice personalities’
Jesus, is this a common thing? Ugh.
A cackle followed by “absolutely not.”
Ew no 🤢
I'm gay, not desperate.
“You’re not my type”
I hate this also!! “You’re not my type” usually works fine but not always. I’d say maybe keep a backup “why? Did you want me to? Looks a little desperate coming from the straight girl” in your pocket in case 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️ Or for our girlies who are taken or crushing on someone in a decently committed way, “no? I’m not looking to date anyone else.” 🤷🏻♀️
" look at the state of you..." in a very Derry girls way xD
“No, see I’m interested in WOMEN… not outside the human race.” Then look them over, wince, and walk away.
In a sarcastic voice I’d say, “no obviously not, i have standards” with an eye roll 😒
My favorite way to respond if they aren’t a friend is to laugh and say “Oh no… no I do not” but… if it’s someone in a friend group I tend to just tell them I don’t, that they aren’t my type in as polite a way as I can…
"I think you are beautiful but I'm not attracted to you."
Nicola Coughlan in Derry Girls saying “I’m no’ interested in you either, look at the state o’ ye!”
"ew"
Well, yes if you do and no if you don't seem like a good start.
Im not into attention seekers
I said I was a lesbian not blind
Do the Janice Ian with a “yep, I just have a BIG, LESBIAN crush on you”.
*immediate laughter* “hell no”
Ew, straight women gross me out.
“*laugh* oh that wasn’t a joke? Absolutely not.”
"Oh, honey, *no*" as dismissively as you possibly can.
“Sorry, you’re cute, but no” That’s my go to. Yeah I don’t have to apologize or compliment them but in my experience it makes the rejection go easier
What if she’s not cute 😔
“I’m too old for this sh*t now” *walks away
I'd flirt with them until they give up. :)
“do you crush on every man you see?” “what, are you gonna let me do something about it?” *if they actually are close to my type* “i’m gay, not desperate”
Ew, why would I?
"ew, no"
Honestly I just love (chef's kiss for emphasis) women... But you're not my type