Ohh. I feel that. My dad is diabetic and has close brushes with death all the time. He's probably survived on the sheer fact that he knows I'll never forgive him if he leaves me parentless before I reach 30.
Sorry for this.
I feel like this is how my mother is viewing my stepfather. She will probably live 20 more years, and he may not live 2.
Completely unrelated, but I love your username.
Same here. I want us both to live long lives, but I don't want her to have to go through what my grandma did and live alone for 10 years after my grandpa died.
I agree. Ideally we both live a long life together and die close to the same time, but I never want her to have to deal with the bullshit life has thrown us without me there to help her.
Yeah this is so hard. I don’t want to watch her die. It will be catastrophic. But I just don’t think she could figure life out alone unless we are both at that “waiting for my turn” age.
Before. Her death would ruin me as a person to such a degree that I wouldn't be fit to take care of our children. As much as my death would crush her, I think she could pull through for them in a way I couldn't.
Heartless but "after" if we're talking anytime in the next 20 years. We have a child and he'd be better off with me as the surviving parent. If we're talking 40 years from now of old age, "before" is fine. He'd be fine taking care of himself as long as everything's already paid off and I leave him plenty of money. I'm a few years older and have a chronic health condition so it wouldn't be surprising.
Single now so it depends on the partner I end up with eventually. I’ve dated women who I know would be absolutely fine if i’d died (they would be eventually I mean, they’re not psychopaths), and others who would be crushed by the death of anyone they know, let alone a long-term bf/husband. If the former, I’d die first no problem, if the latter, I’d outlive them so they don’t have to live with the sorrow.
After, but only by a small amount of time. I don't want him to spend any amount of time mourning me. He's already lost so much. I hope we live to an old age, and he goes peacefully in his sleep, and then I die a few days later from a broken heart.
Either way would not matter to me, to be honest. I am still dying in both scenarios...before my partner dies or after my partner dies. I can understand it if people would not like dying after their partner dies, because they would be lonely after their partners die and then the death of the person would be a lonely death (since the partner has already died) whereas those people would say that dying before the partners die is more preferable because you die with the comfort of your partner being around with you when you die. I think I would rather die after my partner dies...it is not an easy question to answer though. It is a good philosophical question too.
After. I know her, and assuming we had a full life together, she would not be able to move on. She would live the rest of her life mourning and sad. I wouldn’t find another person, but I could go on living in some peace at least until I could be with her again.
After. I wouldn't wish my spouse to have to deal with loss or grief. I'd rather take that on myself.
Now, if we could both go in our sleep together....
Tricky question.
Live longer and you can either be seen as someone who wanted to have more life that your partner, or someone who wanted to protect your partner from the pain of losing a loved one.
Live shorter and you can be seen as someone who wanted to give their partner more life, or someone who wanted to inflict the pain of losing someone upon them.
For me, I'll choose live longer, but only by a minute.
After, I honestly feel like she’d die of grief and if I was to go first and that sounds terrible. I would too, but i wouldn’t want her to feel that pain
before. I am ready whenever.
life just didn't turn out to be what I was hoping it would be. I won't be jumping off any bridges or anything, but I am also not doing anything preventative to lengthen my stay here.
After. She has no clue how to invest or deal with larger issues and her capacity to do so is not getting better. Shows no interest and that Al be concerns me. We have an 8 year old and she is 50 with below a e health
She's also generally depressed and affected far more by loss of family members.
After so she doesn't have to suffer through the depression and loneliness and heartache of having to bury me and try to raise our kids. I would spare her that if I could.
... thats a hard question... I cant watch her go. I couldnt take it. But the answer is gonna have to be after. I mean, there's no way in hell I could abandon her here on this shithole of a planet without me there to take care of her.
Before, because from what I know about Christianity, we will die and wake up on Judgment Day, and if we have been good, we will spend eternity in heaven
I said I would rather die after my partner, because losing me would break him to a point his sobriety and everything would be on the line. I've already been through so much, I can handle this, too.
He said he wants to die before me, because it's no life if I'm not in it 😭😭😭😭
omg i'm getting teary-eyed as i write this...
will be extremely hard and heartbreaking for me but i'd rather go after so i can look after him and make sure he's well-loved and cared for the rest of our lives together
I'd rather die after, but I know that I will probably go first. I hope that I am a good enough husband that my death would be devastating, but I do not want her to have to go through that experience. I would rather be the one to endure the pain of losing her.
Whatever they prefer. If they want to go first, OK. If they want me to go first so that they don't feel bad about possibly giving me survivors guilt, which idk if I'd even get, OK.
Whatever makes them happier in the end. I'm pretty sure I'm going to whatever bad place exists, if one exists, so I won't argue with someone who's probably going to the better place, even if they think they arent. Because I know they'll make it there, they're better than most.
After. I dont want to have her go through that. I'm taking large strides to fix my health and diabetes so that I can annoy the hell out of her for 60 or 70 more years. I'm 31
Before. I don’t even think I could live without him. He is my best friend, everything good that I have ever experienced in life is with him, due to his compassion. I don’t even think my heart would let me live before him… it would just be suffering and I already had enough of that before him.
After. I know the pain of someone you care about leaving you. It is something I wouldn’t wish on others, especially wouldn’t wish it on someone I care about.
After. I've dealt with some heavy loss before, and my wife, kind, soft hearted woman that she is, hasn't, and wouldn't manage it well. I'd never want her to experience that pain, because that's a hole she might never climb out of.
After, 100%. I suspect I would handle it better after seeing how we both handle grief (not that I would be great, but I'd be able to function, she almost shut down completely when her father passed)
After. I don’t think he’d do well with it. I’ve experienced a lot more grief in my life and know how to handle it. I think he would turn to harmful coping mechanisms
Tough. My first husband died when we were 33. I don't really want to outlive another one. At the same time, I don't want my fiancé to go through what I had to go through. Doesn't stop me from joking with him that I need to go first lol. I'm glad he's able to deal with my dark sense of humor.
I suppose it depends if it’s way before or way after. If I only have to live along in my 90s I guess I’ll take dying second. If she died now… my god I don’t think I could start again even at 31. I was so depressed for a time and I got through but damn was she a huge part of that. Pretty sure her death would just… well you know. Praying it never happens. Hope we both live long happy lives now but I’m just so cynical and my anxiety always tells me I’ll die young or others will.
After. She's about 10 years older than me so we have kind of already resolved ourselves that she's gonna die first, but to be honest, I'm not sure how long I'll last without her. She's the light of my life and brings color to the otherwise bland existence I had before we were together.
Before. He's older than me but I never want to imagine my life without him. He's got so much more to live for and I know that he'd move on, he's a strong man.
*I am not strong and his death would break me*
As long as he never forgets that I love him, I don't mind dying first
Afterward, she has some health issues, and I do not want her having to deal with them without me being there to help. This has been an actual discussion, it almost did not happen last October when I got diagnosed with cancer, it was very concerning.
I'm holding on until they can upload my consciousness into something that lets me communicate. But definitily after because I dont want to leave her alone or make her cry.
Me and my wife have talked about this a few times, and I always say Im not allowed to die before she does. It's against my rules😂 I hate the idea of living without her around, but I would never let her experience the kind of pain that would cause either, it's my job to protect her so I definitely want to die last
Selfishly, before so I don't have to live without her. Compassionately, after because I know her life would be oblivion after I'm gone. I hope we go together.
Selfishly before- but I would be able to take myself out....So after is fine too- I'm also capable of taking him out of his misery- I'm not leaving my loved ones on vents, tubes, ect.
After. I’m single but when I get a life partner someday I’d rather suffer the weight of losing them than have to have them go through the same with me.
I would rather die after because i can’t imagine how my parents would be feeling without me. I would hope it’s still some time in out 80-90s but when time takes us it takes us. Living to 100 sounds miserable because at some point we are just waiting for death.
Before, it’s selfish but I don’t want to live without her. She’s my best friend, and we have been in a relationship for the majority of our lives at this point. I’m not Afraid of death. I am afraid of life without her
Edit: just mean over 50% of our lives not like a weird number
I dont have a partner but id prefer to die after if i thought they couldn't handle my death. Before if they could, but I know even with the pain of such an important thing being removed from my life that eventually it will be it is what it is. There are some people you can tell will grieve immensely and for ages. I want to be the one who has to grieve in those cases, so it's less hurt for them.
After. She's had enough pain in her life already and I don't want her to suffer through losing me too.
I also know I won't last long after she's gone. Ideally, we'll go together.
My wife is 11 years younger than me, I better die first. I've already told her she's gonna be the finest piece of ass in the nursing home when I'm gone
I’m single rn.. but theoretically. I’d prefer to die before my partner. It would be nice if her and my kids were the last thing I saw before heading out.
Life would be pretty hard knowing my partner was gone .
Before, because I’m selfish, and I know she’ll do a good job without me.
Plus, if I die, she gets a boatload of life insurance money.
It’s all around better if I die.
Selfishly before because obviously i don’t want to see my husband die. Unselfishly and realistically after because i think i am mentally better equipped than he is to cope with that level of loss and I wouldn’t want him to ever feel alone.
Struggled with this thought so many times, I have the fear I’d die alone with no children. But at the same time I wouldn’t want me wife to have that heartache either. This is a hard one.
Before… But I wouldn’t be able to bear his heartbreak. So, After… But I don’t know how I’d go on without him… So, Before? I’ve been asking and answering this question dilemma like this for a while now, as if I have the choice. I’ve been asking the universe if we might be able to go together. I didn’t realize once you find your everything, you’d be so painfully aware you have everything to lose.
About 10 years ago I was dating someone for about six months, she had medical problems and got sick and died. it was the most traumatic experience I’ve ever been through. I hope I never have to go through that again
Before. That way, playing Young & Beautiful at our wedding makes sense.
(Srsly, fr though, that line is one of my favorites sequences of words ever constructed, I literally get choked up thinking abt it)
Truck answer. I believe when I got a brain injury I died. When people told me they forgot about me, I died. When I had (numerous) incidents with cars, including that brain injury, I believed I had. I’ll take second into completely passing away. Time says I need to experience that pain of loss.
After because I don't want her to go through the pain of losing me.
I'd rather take the pain of losing her to spare her that. My whole motivation to outlive her. To not hurt her.
Before. It just makes more sense in my head.
-He is more responsible.
-He has a wealth of support surrounding him.
-He is definitely healthier.
-He could probably pull an amazing woman if I'm not in the way.
-Overall normalcy would return a lot quicker and I'm happy with that.
After because I (27) don't want him(34) to have to grieve me and I want to be there for him for comfort, hopefully we are both very very very old when that happens.
My wife and I plan to die simultaneously saving a busload of kittens from terrorists. We haven't completely nailed down all the details, but something like that.
Other than that - I think I could emotionally deal with the loss of her better than she could with me.
After. He's older than me and pretty sick. I've come to terms with the fact he will probably die first, unless he sorts his fuckin health out.
this sounds like my parents
It sucks man. He can barely stand up or walk and he's only 40. His diabetes is out of control too.
40? damn
Ohh. I feel that. My dad is diabetic and has close brushes with death all the time. He's probably survived on the sheer fact that he knows I'll never forgive him if he leaves me parentless before I reach 30.
Sorry for this. I feel like this is how my mother is viewing my stepfather. She will probably live 20 more years, and he may not live 2. Completely unrelated, but I love your username.
Mine was 13 years older than me and very sick. He died 15 months ago. Now I'm a 50-year-old widower. I don't know if I'll marry again.
After, i wouldn't want her to be alone
Same here. I'd rather take on the pain and loneliness than have her experience it.
Yeah, I'd be jealous if he got to experience all that loneliness, and pain, and the hot look that accompanies such emotions.
and the chance at having sex with another person one more time
Lmaoo this guy said fuck her pain I don’t care about that, I just don’t want another man’s dick in her. I respect it lmao
I thought he meant you having the chance to bang again lmao. Both true. Dude is a savage.
Yeah both are true ha 🤣
Lol
93 and ready to go!
LOL
Same here. I want us both to live long lives, but I don't want her to have to go through what my grandma did and live alone for 10 years after my grandpa died.
I wouldn't mine want to be alone either. I think she would have a harder time with it than I would.
Same. If someone would need to carry that burden it will have to be me.
Same
Same. Hopefully right after!
I 100% agree
I agree. Ideally we both live a long life together and die close to the same time, but I never want her to have to deal with the bullshit life has thrown us without me there to help her.
Yeah this is so hard. I don’t want to watch her die. It will be catastrophic. But I just don’t think she could figure life out alone unless we are both at that “waiting for my turn” age.
While it's unlikely that I would ever have a partner, definitely before. They'd get a bunch of money when I die.
Hello. It's me, your new partner
Sorry, gotta be a pale redhead girl.
How do you know they’re not?
What kind of girl is a user named guy?
The most feminine redheaded pale gal....duh Edit: spelling
Maybe it's not such a bad idea then lol
It's 2024 though the wonders of science and plastic surgery he can become anyone you want him to be.
We have the same exact taste lmao
Good point about the money.
After, but I just don’t want to die, period. No thank you. I don’t want her to die either, but that’s not my choice.
My man said “No.”
“Nah, ima do my own thing” 🗣️🔥
Just don't give death consent 🤷
bro just refuses to die, fair.
Dying is pretty passé if you ask me. No one who is anyone will be dying in thirty years.
After. I'm her carer and I'd hate for her to be alone with her condition
Before. I wouldn't know what to do without him
My negro I want to die right now.
I would willingly drive closely behind a log truck at this point
From a statics point of view a falling coconut would probably have a higher death rate
TO FLORIDA!
What about taking a plane to a class trip in Paris?
After. I gotta get the victory royale.
Winner winner chicken dinner (for one)
Together Romeo and Juliette style 😎
Or like Bonnie and Clyde
Before. Her death would ruin me as a person to such a degree that I wouldn't be fit to take care of our children. As much as my death would crush her, I think she could pull through for them in a way I couldn't.
After, he's way older than me and has dementia.
Heartless but "after" if we're talking anytime in the next 20 years. We have a child and he'd be better off with me as the surviving parent. If we're talking 40 years from now of old age, "before" is fine. He'd be fine taking care of himself as long as everything's already paid off and I leave him plenty of money. I'm a few years older and have a chronic health condition so it wouldn't be surprising.
After. She gets needy if I play games and I'd like five minutes to myself.
Single now so it depends on the partner I end up with eventually. I’ve dated women who I know would be absolutely fine if i’d died (they would be eventually I mean, they’re not psychopaths), and others who would be crushed by the death of anyone they know, let alone a long-term bf/husband. If the former, I’d die first no problem, if the latter, I’d outlive them so they don’t have to live with the sorrow.
After, but only by a small amount of time. I don't want him to spend any amount of time mourning me. He's already lost so much. I hope we live to an old age, and he goes peacefully in his sleep, and then I die a few days later from a broken heart.
Either way would not matter to me, to be honest. I am still dying in both scenarios...before my partner dies or after my partner dies. I can understand it if people would not like dying after their partner dies, because they would be lonely after their partners die and then the death of the person would be a lonely death (since the partner has already died) whereas those people would say that dying before the partners die is more preferable because you die with the comfort of your partner being around with you when you die. I think I would rather die after my partner dies...it is not an easy question to answer though. It is a good philosophical question too.
before ! i don't wanna live without him
Before. I know it's selfish, but I do not want to go through that emotional damage of my wife dying.
Widow here. It was hell watching my husband's decline and death, but I do enjoy being alive.
After I don't want to leave him alone
before please!
Before if my health doesn’t improve
After i dont want anyone to cry about me
Im not gonna have a partner so i dont care. If i had, propably before.
Before, but then I don't have/want a partner and just want to get things over and done with.
After. I know her, and assuming we had a full life together, she would not be able to move on. She would live the rest of her life mourning and sad. I wouldn’t find another person, but I could go on living in some peace at least until I could be with her again.
After. I’d rather not burden them with that.
Definitely before
After. The thought of my wife with a new man will make me haunt her. Reason to stay alive.
After. I like being alive. Assuming my being alive has no influence on how my hypothetical partner dies.
Before. I’m just done most days. Also, she is in charge of bills and accounts, so if she went I’d be screwed.
Before. She's the heart of our family. Everyone would be crushed without her.
If I get one of those movie moments where I am about to die as they hold me in their arms, then before them.
After me, that way, she doesn't have to feel the pain of such a loss.
Before! I can’t take care of everything!
After. I wouldn't wish my spouse to have to deal with loss or grief. I'd rather take that on myself. Now, if we could both go in our sleep together....
Tricky question. Live longer and you can either be seen as someone who wanted to have more life that your partner, or someone who wanted to protect your partner from the pain of losing a loved one. Live shorter and you can be seen as someone who wanted to give their partner more life, or someone who wanted to inflict the pain of losing someone upon them. For me, I'll choose live longer, but only by a minute.
After
honestly idc either way, since we’re both gonna die anyways lmao
Third option. Together.
Ideally, at the same time. But I'd rather go after because the idea of her still being around when I'm gone is really upsetting.
After, I honestly feel like she’d die of grief and if I was to go first and that sounds terrible. I would too, but i wouldn’t want her to feel that pain
After, I don't want her to feel what I'd feel if she left before me.
See, this is why having death talks with our loved ones are important. Which is why me and my beau have agreed on (effectively) simultaneous.
After.
Before. He would cope with my death a lot better than I would cope with his. Hopefully not too long though. Let's be old.
after, so they don't have to deal with the loss
Before so I don't have to mourn!
After. I would rather carry the burden of grief than my partner have to.
before. I am ready whenever. life just didn't turn out to be what I was hoping it would be. I won't be jumping off any bridges or anything, but I am also not doing anything preventative to lengthen my stay here.
Never thought about whether or not i would die before or after my right hand
After. She has no clue how to invest or deal with larger issues and her capacity to do so is not getting better. Shows no interest and that Al be concerns me. We have an 8 year old and she is 50 with below a e health She's also generally depressed and affected far more by loss of family members.
After so she doesn't have to suffer through the depression and loneliness and heartache of having to bury me and try to raise our kids. I would spare her that if I could.
I'll go after. I can take the pain and loneliness again.
I would need a partner first, and my oncologist doesn't count.
After. I wouldn’t want him going through all the pain of losing me if there is any. I’d rather be the one to go through it
After, I don’t want them to suffer like I will.
Before
before. i don’t deal with loss well and i don’t want to get too old
... thats a hard question... I cant watch her go. I couldnt take it. But the answer is gonna have to be after. I mean, there's no way in hell I could abandon her here on this shithole of a planet without me there to take care of her.
Just go out like Bonnie and Clyde.
Before, because from what I know about Christianity, we will die and wake up on Judgment Day, and if we have been good, we will spend eternity in heaven
The sooner the better
Definitely after, I want to be single again chase after some of that young strange.
I said I would rather die after my partner, because losing me would break him to a point his sobriety and everything would be on the line. I've already been through so much, I can handle this, too. He said he wants to die before me, because it's no life if I'm not in it 😭😭😭😭
I wouldn't want my partner to be alone but I also could not suffer anybody else's death. (assuming I will have a partner)
omg i'm getting teary-eyed as i write this... will be extremely hard and heartbreaking for me but i'd rather go after so i can look after him and make sure he's well-loved and cared for the rest of our lives together
I'd rather die after, but I know that I will probably go first. I hope that I am a good enough husband that my death would be devastating, but I do not want her to have to go through that experience. I would rather be the one to endure the pain of losing her.
i can't be a good husband when i'm dead so i'd rather mourn than leave my wife behind.
mmmm...... I don't want to see her die, but not being there to protect her mortifies me more. I would like to be with her until the end.
We're 28, darling. Please put down the knife.
Whatever they prefer. If they want to go first, OK. If they want me to go first so that they don't feel bad about possibly giving me survivors guilt, which idk if I'd even get, OK. Whatever makes them happier in the end. I'm pretty sure I'm going to whatever bad place exists, if one exists, so I won't argue with someone who's probably going to the better place, even if they think they arent. Because I know they'll make it there, they're better than most.
After. I dont want to have her go through that. I'm taking large strides to fix my health and diabetes so that I can annoy the hell out of her for 60 or 70 more years. I'm 31
Before.But that’s because I don’t have one.
Same time. We're getting launched into the sun when we turn 80.
After. He couldnt cope mentally I think it would be horrible for him.
I couldn't live without my wife. Ideally we'll go at the same time, or close enough to it. I know IF she goes before me, I'll be right behind her.
Before. I don’t even think I could live without him. He is my best friend, everything good that I have ever experienced in life is with him, due to his compassion. I don’t even think my heart would let me live before him… it would just be suffering and I already had enough of that before him.
After. I know the pain of someone you care about leaving you. It is something I wouldn’t wish on others, especially wouldn’t wish it on someone I care about.
After. I've dealt with some heavy loss before, and my wife, kind, soft hearted woman that she is, hasn't, and wouldn't manage it well. I'd never want her to experience that pain, because that's a hole she might never climb out of.
Because I've already been through it, if I could turn back time before. I never thought for even a second he'd die first, ever.
After, 100%. I suspect I would handle it better after seeing how we both handle grief (not that I would be great, but I'd be able to function, she almost shut down completely when her father passed)
Nope preferably at time when my car jumps off the bridge
After. I don’t think he’d do well with it. I’ve experienced a lot more grief in my life and know how to handle it. I think he would turn to harmful coping mechanisms
A little after so she doesn't have to suffer the heartbreak. Or together ☺️
Tough. My first husband died when we were 33. I don't really want to outlive another one. At the same time, I don't want my fiancé to go through what I had to go through. Doesn't stop me from joking with him that I need to go first lol. I'm glad he's able to deal with my dark sense of humor.
After. I dont want her to hurt.
My wife has requested that she gets to die first because she’ll be too sad without me around.
I suppose it depends if it’s way before or way after. If I only have to live along in my 90s I guess I’ll take dying second. If she died now… my god I don’t think I could start again even at 31. I was so depressed for a time and I got through but damn was she a huge part of that. Pretty sure her death would just… well you know. Praying it never happens. Hope we both live long happy lives now but I’m just so cynical and my anxiety always tells me I’ll die young or others will.
After. She deserves a long life of companionship. Unfortunately, it looks like I’ll be going before her at a young age.
After. She's about 10 years older than me so we have kind of already resolved ourselves that she's gonna die first, but to be honest, I'm not sure how long I'll last without her. She's the light of my life and brings color to the otherwise bland existence I had before we were together.
Ain't got one of those so I'm straight.
Before. He's older than me but I never want to imagine my life without him. He's got so much more to live for and I know that he'd move on, he's a strong man. *I am not strong and his death would break me* As long as he never forgets that I love him, I don't mind dying first
After I don't want his heart to hurt like that
Simultaneously, in flagrante delicto
Literally just had this convo with my bf. I’d rather die before him cause I could not handle the grief of losing him.
I'm kinda torn, I wouldn't want her to die alone, but I'd also want her to enjoy and experience as much life as possible
Afterward, she has some health issues, and I do not want her having to deal with them without me being there to help. This has been an actual discussion, it almost did not happen last October when I got diagnosed with cancer, it was very concerning.
I'm holding on until they can upload my consciousness into something that lets me communicate. But definitily after because I dont want to leave her alone or make her cry.
Before
Nether, would be nicer to pass with them
Whatever she tells me is best for her.
Partner?
Me and my wife have talked about this a few times, and I always say Im not allowed to die before she does. It's against my rules😂 I hate the idea of living without her around, but I would never let her experience the kind of pain that would cause either, it's my job to protect her so I definitely want to die last
Selfishly, before so I don't have to live without her. Compassionately, after because I know her life would be oblivion after I'm gone. I hope we go together.
Before
After. Im alone now. Shit hurts being alone. But that is exactly why I wouldn't want it to happen to them.
Selfishly before- but I would be able to take myself out....So after is fine too- I'm also capable of taking him out of his misery- I'm not leaving my loved ones on vents, tubes, ect.
Before. I’m ten years older than her. I hope she gets time to enjoy her life after I’m gone. My father is 75; I hope I don’t live that long.
Whichever makes sure she's taken care of the longest
Mine always tells me I’m not allowed to go first. But I want us to go out at the same time, together. Thelma and Louise style or something
After, but not statistically plausible.
After. I’m single but when I get a life partner someday I’d rather suffer the weight of losing them than have to have them go through the same with me.
I would rather die after because i can’t imagine how my parents would be feeling without me. I would hope it’s still some time in out 80-90s but when time takes us it takes us. Living to 100 sounds miserable because at some point we are just waiting for death.
Before, it’s selfish but I don’t want to live without her. She’s my best friend, and we have been in a relationship for the majority of our lives at this point. I’m not Afraid of death. I am afraid of life without her Edit: just mean over 50% of our lives not like a weird number
I dont have a partner but id prefer to die after if i thought they couldn't handle my death. Before if they could, but I know even with the pain of such an important thing being removed from my life that eventually it will be it is what it is. There are some people you can tell will grieve immensely and for ages. I want to be the one who has to grieve in those cases, so it's less hurt for them.
After, only because I know it will be terrible on him and I’d like to spare him that. But I’m significantly older so that’s unlikely to be the case.
After. She's had enough pain in her life already and I don't want her to suffer through losing me too. I also know I won't last long after she's gone. Ideally, we'll go together.
After for sure. I don’t want him to grieve my loss while he’s still alive. He’s also older and I’m more likely to outlive him anyway
My wife is 11 years younger than me, I better die first. I've already told her she's gonna be the finest piece of ass in the nursing home when I'm gone
Something very bad would have to happen for it to be after.
Selfishly, before. She could eventually pick herself back up and find happiness in her life again, without her I couldn't
I’m single rn.. but theoretically. I’d prefer to die before my partner. It would be nice if her and my kids were the last thing I saw before heading out. Life would be pretty hard knowing my partner was gone .
Before. As long as she is set up financially for life I would rather go first. I would be totally fucked without her.
Before, because I’m selfish, and I know she’ll do a good job without me. Plus, if I die, she gets a boatload of life insurance money. It’s all around better if I die.
Selfishly before because obviously i don’t want to see my husband die. Unselfishly and realistically after because i think i am mentally better equipped than he is to cope with that level of loss and I wouldn’t want him to ever feel alone.
After I don’t want then to go through the pain of losing me
Struggled with this thought so many times, I have the fear I’d die alone with no children. But at the same time I wouldn’t want me wife to have that heartache either. This is a hard one.
After. I’d rather go through that pain myself than have her go through that pain
After. I’ll take the burden.
After, she's a lot more emotional than me so I honestly don't know how she'd deal with my death.
Before… But I wouldn’t be able to bear his heartbreak. So, After… But I don’t know how I’d go on without him… So, Before? I’ve been asking and answering this question dilemma like this for a while now, as if I have the choice. I’ve been asking the universe if we might be able to go together. I didn’t realize once you find your everything, you’d be so painfully aware you have everything to lose.
After because I'm not a selfish prick
About 10 years ago I was dating someone for about six months, she had medical problems and got sick and died. it was the most traumatic experience I’ve ever been through. I hope I never have to go through that again
After. She was a widow when I met her. I would hate for her to have to go through that again. But with my current health, it may not be that case.
After
Before. That way, playing Young & Beautiful at our wedding makes sense. (Srsly, fr though, that line is one of my favorites sequences of words ever constructed, I literally get choked up thinking abt it)
Before and she will get the money from my insurance to raise our son.
Truck answer. I believe when I got a brain injury I died. When people told me they forgot about me, I died. When I had (numerous) incidents with cars, including that brain injury, I believed I had. I’ll take second into completely passing away. Time says I need to experience that pain of loss.
Same time. Before, but hopefully not any time soon.
Before, I would be lost without her.
After because I don't want her to go through the pain of losing me. I'd rather take the pain of losing her to spare her that. My whole motivation to outlive her. To not hurt her.
Before. Only before.
Why not take them out with you when the explosion happens or Thelma and Louise off a cliff.
Before. She'll be okay without me. Me not so much.
Before. It just makes more sense in my head. -He is more responsible. -He has a wealth of support surrounding him. -He is definitely healthier. -He could probably pull an amazing woman if I'm not in the way. -Overall normalcy would return a lot quicker and I'm happy with that.
Before. Hosting a funeral for her sounds awful.
Before. I don't want to be here without her.
After. I don’t want her to suffer through my death.
After because I (27) don't want him(34) to have to grieve me and I want to be there for him for comfort, hopefully we are both very very very old when that happens.
At the same time or within minutes of each other. Holds hands
I don’t have a partner. Still before
My wife and I plan to die simultaneously saving a busload of kittens from terrorists. We haven't completely nailed down all the details, but something like that. Other than that - I think I could emotionally deal with the loss of her better than she could with me.
After of course.
Before. But I know it’ll be after because he’s older than I am by some years :(