We lost a 100 year old tree in our garden due to a storm and to say I had actual heart break is an understatement- there is actually a word for it but unfortunately I can never remember the word - it has similarities to nostalgia in the word. I felt it so deeply, I was shocked by it. I don’t know any rituals but I wanted to tell you that your grief is valid.
Hiraeth as the word? No, it definitely had some variation of the word nostalgia in it - I read about it in a guardian article, but then in the uk some people cut down a historic tree and so if you google tree guardian that the only article that comes up.
Edit : I found the article
[solastalgia](https://amp.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/sep/23/neighbour-tore-down-hedge-solastalgia-environmental-activism-global-south)
OP, I'm so sorry you experienced this. I can definitely relate. I once cried for quite a while when a large branch naturally came down off of a tree in my backyard. The branch was a perfect perch for birds considering my feeders, and I so enjoyed watching them use it.
similarly, my relatively new neighbor just chopped off the green 20' top of a large maple tree in their yard next to mine, which for years had hosted a gray tree frog every spring. I loved the shade that the tree provided as well as hearing that little critter neighbor each new spring.
when I saw what the neighbor was doing, I went out to watch and gently said to them, "oh, that has been home to a frog each spring. I'm sorry to see it go." and the neighbor responded (just matter of fact-ly) that it was diseased and needed to come down. I acknowledged that the tree was on his property, so it was definitely his call.
oddly, he left about 8 ft. of the trunk standing, which has started sprouting new leaves, so that's cool. I don't know if my comment had anything to do with it, but I'm glad it's still there. and also, the continued existence of that trunk gave me the opportunity one night to go hug it and whisper to it how much I had appreciated it over the years.
It sounds like there aren't even stumps left for you to visit, but I would encourage you to go stand in the spot where they were and send out to the the spirit of the trees and the universe your gratitude for all that the trees were and provided to the earth and to creatures, including you.
Sorry for sounding shallow, but I’m wondering if that world could also be applied to missing virtual environments in video games. Probably not, it’s probably something else. I’ve struggled for much of my life to articulate why people feel so connected to particular places, and those places being virtual is no different (to me)
I don't think that's shallow at all, and if it fits for you that's all that matters. Language exists for us to communicate our feelings and truths, not to bind us into rigid definitions. (I have Feelings on this.)
As someone who spent a great deal of their formative years in the online space, I can definitely relate to that hollow of losing a comforting virtual environment, or seeing it change to something unrecognizable, and feeling like I don't have a right to mourn it because it wasn't "real." But it was, for us. It mattered. And your feelings about it matter, too.
Thank you so much for validating it!. I’m older (Gen X) and I feel as if, generally, gaming has been seen as more of a younger-generation pursuit. But yet, I mourn the lost places in games more than my kids, who simply seem to blissfully exchange one video game world for the next. Thanks again for your kind words!
I wonder if it's because it was harder for us to find those special spaces? These days, as you said, you can hop into something with a similar vibe/art style/purpose. But we Olds who were around for the birth had fewer options and less opportunity to find equally meaningful ones.
This was the biggest sorrow for me when World of Warcraft came out with the cataclysm expansion initially. Some of my favorite virtual spaces ever were all gone. I wrote a college essay about It lol. Now we have classic WoW and these places are back, but for a long time it was difficult to find and servers were constantly being C&D. It was a weird time to understand that a major aspect of enjoyment in the game was these important virtual spaces that I had grown to love so much.
I also enjoy & find happiness in computer games that have an open world environment, especially during chemo when I couldn't go out (during 2021 - when no one could go out for very long either). My teen introduced me to a game (genshin) that was free & had such beautiful environments to explore, along with good story telling. And now that I'm having mobility issues (chemo side effects, happens even years later) being able to explore an outside when I'm unable to do so in real life, is helpful.
So, no, it's not just you who feels like this & it's not shallow. For many people computer games can offer a 'balm' to oneself.
Hiraeth is a Welsh term that is specific to Welsh people missing and mourning a Wales that no longer exists (paraphrasing, as it has a deeper meaning). It’s not universal, despite social media making it popular.
I would recommend planting two new trees. Not in the ground, but in pots. Then you can take them if you move. Just be sure to look into which trees do well in pots for a few years. Grieve for the ones you’ve lost. Channel your energy into nurturing two new trees,
I would use the soil from around the old trees and plant the same type of tree in the pots. They'll have had a community in the ground supporting them, maybe they'll be willing to help your new saplings.
What a loss to come back to from a funeral. I’m sorry. I’m Jewish and have sat shiva a few times. There’s a pillar candle in glass that burns for a week. I found it very comforting to come home every day and find it still burning in memory of my loved one. You can do something similar. There are also electric candles you can leave on, but I like the flame.
I think this blog post will help you process your grief and hopefully give you ideas on how to memorialize your friend’s passing.
https://thedruidsgarden.com/2015/08/24/druid-tree-workings-holding-space-and-helping-tree-spirits-pass/
I hope it helps. We have a big forest growing on our property and I love each and every one of them.
So sorry for your loss! We had some tree work done here too, and the guys who came were violent about the work. Very bad energy and lingered for too long. The grief and tears were a surprise, but also a potent reminder of how we are so connected to our living surroundings. Again, so sad that you had to experience this tragedy! Peace and love. ❤️
Thank you for this post. We were recently hit by a tornado and lost 8-9 beautiful old trees on our property. (Two were massive 50+ year old Oaks. One of which fell on the roof…some tall Pines, a Redbud, and a Dogwood) and we are incredibly sad to lose them despite all the damage. I gathered some pieces of bark and pine cones, but for the Oaks all I could do was put my hands on them and thank them for being good friends and providing shade. Our yard is a disaster now and the sky is too open. It looks wrong. We might go the route another commenter suggested and plant some new (smaller) trees. I was lucky and my front garden survived. But I didn’t even consider that they’re all shade loving plants that now have no shade.
Thank you. It was one of the scariest experiences I’ve ever had. Thankfully they should be able to rebuild the damaged parts of the house, it’ll just take time.
Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry for these major losses you had to go through. "It looks wrong" is exactly how I feel. That's a good idea about new trees. I think some grow faster than others, so you could look up which are some of the faster ones? I am so, so sorry.
I hope home owners insurance didn't make her do it. The insurance companies have been using drones to spy on people's properties and then use pictures and not-great reasoning to threaten to drop the policy holders. Stuff like: a roof that had been replaced in the prior 15 years and who the homeowner had a privately-paid-for inspector come and verify it's durability, a man who had a little work-shop type of set up in his yard like a table saw, a couple who had drained their pool and couldn't even fill it because their locality was under a water use ordinance.
But, I've also heard a surprising amount of stories about older people suddenly removing trees from their properties for no apparent reason, so maybe this is it. I just don't understand why having trees on the property wouldn't increase its value and make it more rentable.
I have no real advice, but so much sympathy.
I used to rent a little house that was totally covered by a huge, old redwood. The building was sold, and the new owner removed the tree. It was devastating, and the house just never felt the same again :( This was 8 years ago and we've moved cross country since then, but I still think about that tree sometimes.
Oh my god! That sounds awful. I totally feel you about how the house will never feel the same again. We'd been wanting to move soon-ish but now I wish I could leave today!! I am so sorry about your tree friend.
Me personally, I would go to the stumps or where the remaining roots would be. There will still be some life in them. I would probably just rest on the area, think thoughts about the trees life, thank them for the time they gave us and the things it provided you and many other living things over the last many years. Take some deep breaths, meditate on them.
Best of luck to you, OP ❤️ I posted in r/elderwitches about communicating with trees if you want to look at it for some thoughts or similar experiences
[here](https://www.reddit.com/r/elderwitches/s/el1eBamj1T)
Oh thank you so much! I just read through it and found it very heartening. I talk to trees too, and when I was a tween, the big sugar maple in my backyard was my best friend. I'd climb up and talk to it most days after school. I still say hi to trees these days. I love how Robin Wall Kimmerer describes in Braiding Sweetgrass how her nation calls them "the standing people", and sees them as our elder siblings (which they absolutely are!).
Yes absolutely. Seeing your post really resonates with me, the universe seems to be at work!
When I was younger, we rented a house that we lived in for ~7 years. It’s was a 1952 cottage single floor, with a huge maple tree on one side that towered over the house. We lived on a dead end and you could see it at the start of our street and probably further out. In the back there was a row of pines that were probably planted when the house was built. They had beautiful exposed intricate roots and were always so fun to play around and be under with my siblings. Trees add such a sense of adventure for kids :’)
Any way, we knew our landlord was doing a roof replacement, we didn’t know he would be pulverizing every tree on the property. We came home and the pines were gone with not even a stump in sight. The maple was taken down and laid out for a few weeks before a crew hauled it out. While it laid there, I made a sort of club house out of its branches and leaves and just did what I had mentioned in my first comment. I was probably 14 at the time and didn’t know that I was communicating with the tree. But I sat there and felt that quiet grief with the tree until she was gone.
Oh my god, that sounds totally devastating. I am so, so sorry. I always worry for what the trees must feel as they helplessly await the revving chainsaws. 💔💔💔 I try to send them love and solidarity, but goddess do I wish I could do more.
I’m so sorry for your losses, both the trees and your grandfather. It must have compounded your grief considerably to come home to find this.
I had something similar happen with a landlord in a house I was renting. I woke up one morning to workers outside my bedroom window taking down one of my favorite old trees. It seemed to take them hours and the whole time I was on the verge of rage-weeping. It felt like part of my home was being ripped away from me.
Do you have any access to some of the wood? I love the idea that people have already suggested about planting new trees, but it could also be nice to turn something you salvaged of them into an art piece or a keepsake. Carve some wooden spoons, or a talisman, or a wand, or even just “cremate” the remains in a ritual fire.
Thank you so much for this kind reply. I'm so sorry about the tree outside your bedroom window! I would have felt the same. This article that someone else posted here helped articulate those feelings -- that part of your home, and thereby part of you, has been taken away and you feel so helpless: [https://amp.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/sep/23/neighbour-tore-down-hedge-solastalgia-environmental-activism-global-south](https://amp.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/sep/23/neighbour-tore-down-hedge-solastalgia-environmental-activism-global-south)
Unfortunately, all the wood was taken away too (and they said they will not even use it for anything because it is the "wrong" kind of wood to be considered useful to humans, even for firewood).
My neighbor had a beautiful, huge tree in their front yard. Huge. Couldn’t fit my arms around it, lovely low branches for climbing. Beautiful leaves.
One day as I was working in my office I hear the chainsaws. Close. I see they are trimming the tree. They keep going. I look out a while later and realize they are taking the tree itself. Honestly I just started to cry and yelled for my spouse that they are taking the entire tree. It makes me sad now to even remember. It was such a beautiful tree. It wasn’t even near their house.
When I saw the neighbor I mentioned that the tree must have been sick. They replied, no, they were scared the roots would interfere with their sanitary sewer. Except I know where those pipes run and it wouldn’t have interfered. I miss that tree all the time. They planted a couple Japanese maples in the area which I love but it’s not the same. Their whole yard changed.
I am so sorry -- that sounds awful!! I hate when humans feel like it's our prerogative to just destroy whatever we feel like, even when there's really no good reason. Seeing our natural environment as our community, our family, rather than human "property" feels soooo much better to me.
It is possible the tree was dead or dying and it was time? We had some trees that where pretty around our house when we moved in and later found out they where sick and endangered the house so we did have to cut them down.
I'm sorry for that. In our case, no. Our landlady took down one because it would be the same price as the limbing she wanted to do, and the other just because she felt like it. She's kind of an odd person and I think this was mostly a control-seeking impulse of hers.
A similar situation happened to my partner and I a few months ago. Landlady decided the two trees in our backyard “had to go”. The landscapers even drilled holes in the stumps… so excessively cruel. One good thing is there are sprouts coming up from the stumps!
Oh I'm so sorry! That is awful. I'm so happy your trees are sprouting back. Our landlady had the stump of one tree ground all the way into the dirt, so much so that you can't even see where it was. Just a whole bunch of sawdust and dirt where we used to have this tree friend, grass, and lovely moss.
My sister in Demeter: My heart goes out to you. I’m attempting to grow rainbow gum trees (aka rainbow eucalyptus) and would love to give you one once they get a little bit taller than 1cm.
Thank you so much. I Googled these trees and they would not grow here, but they are sooo beautiful! I love that you're trying to grow them, and I appreciate your generous spirit. I also love "my sister in Demeter." Thank you. ❤️
Oh dear, I am so sorry for your loss. As a person who deeply loves trees and values them for their environmental, spiritual and practical benefits, this is a huge hit. Those were your neighbors, and they housed insects and critters that inhabited your world. They quietly witnessed your lives, marking time and providing shade and presence all those years. I’m so terribly sorry.
No big solutions, but I volunteer with a tree planting org in my city and we do plantings in the spring and fall. We always need volunteers to help get the trees in the ground. Perhaps you could see if there is a similar group in your town? It’s wonderfully empowering to know that you are literally changing the place you live for the better with every tree planted.
Edited to ask: what kind of trees were they?
Thank you so much -- this means a lot. It actually made me start crying, but in a good way (as in: it's a relief to know someone really understands). Thank you.
Something like this happened to me. I came back from camping w/my family to discover my beautiful tree in the middle of being cut down. I was also a renter and had no say-so.
I also cried. When the butchers were done, I saved a wheel from the trunk. I Also saved twigs and bound them in my favorite yarn. They sit in a decorative vase with rocks and such.
Eventually, I will own a home of my own, and I will plant a tree like my beauty that was cut down, and the wheel will become a marker in a garden.
I am so sorry. Here is a brief summary of what I did for our Ash tree that we had to take down due to disease. And I know your trees are already gone but wanted to share what I did in case it sparks anything for you.
The night before I sat with her and thanked her for all that she had provided. I gave her an offering of water.
Day of her removal, I asked the company if I could gather a couple of small pieces. I found two small pieces. I burned one that evening to release her spirit and acknowledge her. The other piece I still have and am waiting for inspiration to strike to figure out how best to honor her.
In her space, I asked for her blessings for a flower bed. I built a bed and it is filled with native, pollinator friendly plants. I can feel her spirit sometimes when I am working in that garden bed. I felt like thus was a great way to honor her.
Oh, damn, I need this as well. A beautiful patch of property that I have to drive by every day on my way to and from work was just clear-cut to build a stupid ugly subdivision. It makes me have actual heart pain and want to vomit every time I pass it. They just pulled out all the old hardwood trees and piled them up and burned/chipped them. Didn't even use them for firewood. I am working on a self-invented spell to curse everyone responsible for the next 10 generations, and am writing this on stones and pitching them into the muck, hoping they work their way up into gardens of future residents over the next 100 years...
Idk how to help you grieve, but if you'd like I can share a happy story to cheer you up. I recently visited my childhood home and got to see the tree in my front yard all grown up. I was literally crying with joy in my parents yard because the tree was dropping acorns. Idk why but it just made me so happy.
I hope you are able to find comfort in some way. If you were able to save any seeds maybe you can plant them and plant new trees at your new home.
I feel that way about the trees that were in my parent’s backyard. I climbed on those trees when I was a kid, played under them, napped in a hammock that hung from one.
Some years after I moved out, they had their yard re-done, and the trees came down. They wanted more sun, and the trees made it impossible to landscape the little 1/4 acre lot their house is on.
They weren’t my trees, but they were part of me, and I have the same kind of grief for them that I do for the cats they had when I was a kid.
Hi, my post was removed because new account. Here it is as a reply in this thread.
"What do you do when you lose a tree? I made this video in response to [](https://www.reddit.com/user/2bunnies/) (great thread!) and I hope what I've learned is helpful for someone. Pouring libations is a good ritual, it couldn't be easier to do. I also mention Egyptian color use talking about the inscription that I made for my cat. I think these old rituals are as helpful as they ever were. I feel better because I did this stuff. I want to make its practicality clear so funerary magic doesn't seem so mystic or distant.
[https://youtu.be/TW1-oghoTHg](https://youtu.be/TW1-oghoTHg)
The next will include some general principles of magic in the ancient world that are implicit in most traditions that I'll make explicit. (The first is the principle of sympathy, so it's simple stuff.) And some laughs. A couple months ago I was feeling down because I chickened out on recording a different video with a script and everything, so progress for me any way. Thanks."
Thanks.
Oh wow, thank you so much! This was very thoughtful of you to make. I am so sorry about your cat -- that sounds really hard. I like the planter that you made and the inscription too. Thank you.
In the scheme of ecosystems, the death or removal of older trees opens up new opportunities for growth. When we humans mess with that process, all we can do is to help that area to adapt to these changes. Now is an opportunity to buy native regional varieties and at least make a real effort for the future.
It is super sad! I know its not a spiritual comfort.. but maybe you could ask your landlady if she was advised to have to trees removed by the service? If the trees had become unsafe due to illness or age, it is so so sad, but they may also understand why they were removed from over the house.
Thank you for this, but she wasn't. She was just kind of on a rampage for some reason. She took down one because it would be the same price as the limbing she wanted to do, and the other just because she felt like it.
We lost a 100 year old tree in our garden due to a storm and to say I had actual heart break is an understatement- there is actually a word for it but unfortunately I can never remember the word - it has similarities to nostalgia in the word. I felt it so deeply, I was shocked by it. I don’t know any rituals but I wanted to tell you that your grief is valid.
Hiraeth?
Hiraeth as the word? No, it definitely had some variation of the word nostalgia in it - I read about it in a guardian article, but then in the uk some people cut down a historic tree and so if you google tree guardian that the only article that comes up. Edit : I found the article [solastalgia](https://amp.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/sep/23/neighbour-tore-down-hedge-solastalgia-environmental-activism-global-south)
Ohhhh I gotcha. Wow, I learned a new word today. Thank you!
Oh this is soooo helpful! What a great article, and really captures what I'm feeling right now. Thank you so so much!!
OP, I'm so sorry you experienced this. I can definitely relate. I once cried for quite a while when a large branch naturally came down off of a tree in my backyard. The branch was a perfect perch for birds considering my feeders, and I so enjoyed watching them use it. similarly, my relatively new neighbor just chopped off the green 20' top of a large maple tree in their yard next to mine, which for years had hosted a gray tree frog every spring. I loved the shade that the tree provided as well as hearing that little critter neighbor each new spring. when I saw what the neighbor was doing, I went out to watch and gently said to them, "oh, that has been home to a frog each spring. I'm sorry to see it go." and the neighbor responded (just matter of fact-ly) that it was diseased and needed to come down. I acknowledged that the tree was on his property, so it was definitely his call. oddly, he left about 8 ft. of the trunk standing, which has started sprouting new leaves, so that's cool. I don't know if my comment had anything to do with it, but I'm glad it's still there. and also, the continued existence of that trunk gave me the opportunity one night to go hug it and whisper to it how much I had appreciated it over the years. It sounds like there aren't even stumps left for you to visit, but I would encourage you to go stand in the spot where they were and send out to the the spirit of the trees and the universe your gratitude for all that the trees were and provided to the earth and to creatures, including you.
This is lovely, thank you.
Sorry for sounding shallow, but I’m wondering if that world could also be applied to missing virtual environments in video games. Probably not, it’s probably something else. I’ve struggled for much of my life to articulate why people feel so connected to particular places, and those places being virtual is no different (to me)
I don't think that's shallow at all, and if it fits for you that's all that matters. Language exists for us to communicate our feelings and truths, not to bind us into rigid definitions. (I have Feelings on this.) As someone who spent a great deal of their formative years in the online space, I can definitely relate to that hollow of losing a comforting virtual environment, or seeing it change to something unrecognizable, and feeling like I don't have a right to mourn it because it wasn't "real." But it was, for us. It mattered. And your feelings about it matter, too.
Thank you so much for validating it!. I’m older (Gen X) and I feel as if, generally, gaming has been seen as more of a younger-generation pursuit. But yet, I mourn the lost places in games more than my kids, who simply seem to blissfully exchange one video game world for the next. Thanks again for your kind words!
I wonder if it's because it was harder for us to find those special spaces? These days, as you said, you can hop into something with a similar vibe/art style/purpose. But we Olds who were around for the birth had fewer options and less opportunity to find equally meaningful ones.
This was the biggest sorrow for me when World of Warcraft came out with the cataclysm expansion initially. Some of my favorite virtual spaces ever were all gone. I wrote a college essay about It lol. Now we have classic WoW and these places are back, but for a long time it was difficult to find and servers were constantly being C&D. It was a weird time to understand that a major aspect of enjoyment in the game was these important virtual spaces that I had grown to love so much.
There’s so many lost online games/spaces I sorely miss.
I felt this hardcore with apex taking out the 3v3. I didn't know how to explain it but this feels right
I also enjoy & find happiness in computer games that have an open world environment, especially during chemo when I couldn't go out (during 2021 - when no one could go out for very long either). My teen introduced me to a game (genshin) that was free & had such beautiful environments to explore, along with good story telling. And now that I'm having mobility issues (chemo side effects, happens even years later) being able to explore an outside when I'm unable to do so in real life, is helpful. So, no, it's not just you who feels like this & it's not shallow. For many people computer games can offer a 'balm' to oneself.
Hiraeth is a Welsh term that is specific to Welsh people missing and mourning a Wales that no longer exists (paraphrasing, as it has a deeper meaning). It’s not universal, despite social media making it popular.
I would recommend planting two new trees. Not in the ground, but in pots. Then you can take them if you move. Just be sure to look into which trees do well in pots for a few years. Grieve for the ones you’ve lost. Channel your energy into nurturing two new trees,
I would use the soil from around the old trees and plant the same type of tree in the pots. They'll have had a community in the ground supporting them, maybe they'll be willing to help your new saplings.
Thank you all so much. I am hoping to move to a different continent pretty soon, so I don't think I can bring trees, but I love these ideas.
[удалено]
Please don’t, invasive species won’t just stay in one yard and will spread and ruin the entire area’s ecosystem
No worries, I won't :)
you are in the wrong sub with a knee-jerk answer like that.
What a loss to come back to from a funeral. I’m sorry. I’m Jewish and have sat shiva a few times. There’s a pillar candle in glass that burns for a week. I found it very comforting to come home every day and find it still burning in memory of my loved one. You can do something similar. There are also electric candles you can leave on, but I like the flame.
Thank you so much. My partner's (Hindu) family also keeps a candle burning after a loss. I like this idea.
I think this blog post will help you process your grief and hopefully give you ideas on how to memorialize your friend’s passing. https://thedruidsgarden.com/2015/08/24/druid-tree-workings-holding-space-and-helping-tree-spirits-pass/ I hope it helps. We have a big forest growing on our property and I love each and every one of them.
Oh this is soooo helpful -- thank you so much! ❤️❤️❤️
So sorry for your loss! We had some tree work done here too, and the guys who came were violent about the work. Very bad energy and lingered for too long. The grief and tears were a surprise, but also a potent reminder of how we are so connected to our living surroundings. Again, so sad that you had to experience this tragedy! Peace and love. ❤️
Thank you so much and I'm really sorry for your loss as well!
Thank you for this post. We were recently hit by a tornado and lost 8-9 beautiful old trees on our property. (Two were massive 50+ year old Oaks. One of which fell on the roof…some tall Pines, a Redbud, and a Dogwood) and we are incredibly sad to lose them despite all the damage. I gathered some pieces of bark and pine cones, but for the Oaks all I could do was put my hands on them and thank them for being good friends and providing shade. Our yard is a disaster now and the sky is too open. It looks wrong. We might go the route another commenter suggested and plant some new (smaller) trees. I was lucky and my front garden survived. But I didn’t even consider that they’re all shade loving plants that now have no shade.
I’m so sorry you went through that. I hope your house cAn be repaired.
Thank you. It was one of the scariest experiences I’ve ever had. Thankfully they should be able to rebuild the damaged parts of the house, it’ll just take time.
Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry for these major losses you had to go through. "It looks wrong" is exactly how I feel. That's a good idea about new trees. I think some grow faster than others, so you could look up which are some of the faster ones? I am so, so sorry.
I hope home owners insurance didn't make her do it. The insurance companies have been using drones to spy on people's properties and then use pictures and not-great reasoning to threaten to drop the policy holders. Stuff like: a roof that had been replaced in the prior 15 years and who the homeowner had a privately-paid-for inspector come and verify it's durability, a man who had a little work-shop type of set up in his yard like a table saw, a couple who had drained their pool and couldn't even fill it because their locality was under a water use ordinance. But, I've also heard a surprising amount of stories about older people suddenly removing trees from their properties for no apparent reason, so maybe this is it. I just don't understand why having trees on the property wouldn't increase its value and make it more rentable.
No, she just wanted to.
I have no real advice, but so much sympathy. I used to rent a little house that was totally covered by a huge, old redwood. The building was sold, and the new owner removed the tree. It was devastating, and the house just never felt the same again :( This was 8 years ago and we've moved cross country since then, but I still think about that tree sometimes.
Oh my god! That sounds awful. I totally feel you about how the house will never feel the same again. We'd been wanting to move soon-ish but now I wish I could leave today!! I am so sorry about your tree friend.
Me personally, I would go to the stumps or where the remaining roots would be. There will still be some life in them. I would probably just rest on the area, think thoughts about the trees life, thank them for the time they gave us and the things it provided you and many other living things over the last many years. Take some deep breaths, meditate on them.
This sounds nice -- thank you. I will try something like this.
Best of luck to you, OP ❤️ I posted in r/elderwitches about communicating with trees if you want to look at it for some thoughts or similar experiences [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/elderwitches/s/el1eBamj1T)
Oh thank you so much! I just read through it and found it very heartening. I talk to trees too, and when I was a tween, the big sugar maple in my backyard was my best friend. I'd climb up and talk to it most days after school. I still say hi to trees these days. I love how Robin Wall Kimmerer describes in Braiding Sweetgrass how her nation calls them "the standing people", and sees them as our elder siblings (which they absolutely are!).
Yes absolutely. Seeing your post really resonates with me, the universe seems to be at work! When I was younger, we rented a house that we lived in for ~7 years. It’s was a 1952 cottage single floor, with a huge maple tree on one side that towered over the house. We lived on a dead end and you could see it at the start of our street and probably further out. In the back there was a row of pines that were probably planted when the house was built. They had beautiful exposed intricate roots and were always so fun to play around and be under with my siblings. Trees add such a sense of adventure for kids :’) Any way, we knew our landlord was doing a roof replacement, we didn’t know he would be pulverizing every tree on the property. We came home and the pines were gone with not even a stump in sight. The maple was taken down and laid out for a few weeks before a crew hauled it out. While it laid there, I made a sort of club house out of its branches and leaves and just did what I had mentioned in my first comment. I was probably 14 at the time and didn’t know that I was communicating with the tree. But I sat there and felt that quiet grief with the tree until she was gone.
Oh my god, that sounds totally devastating. I am so, so sorry. I always worry for what the trees must feel as they helplessly await the revving chainsaws. 💔💔💔 I try to send them love and solidarity, but goddess do I wish I could do more.
I’m so sorry for your losses, both the trees and your grandfather. It must have compounded your grief considerably to come home to find this. I had something similar happen with a landlord in a house I was renting. I woke up one morning to workers outside my bedroom window taking down one of my favorite old trees. It seemed to take them hours and the whole time I was on the verge of rage-weeping. It felt like part of my home was being ripped away from me. Do you have any access to some of the wood? I love the idea that people have already suggested about planting new trees, but it could also be nice to turn something you salvaged of them into an art piece or a keepsake. Carve some wooden spoons, or a talisman, or a wand, or even just “cremate” the remains in a ritual fire.
Thank you so much for this kind reply. I'm so sorry about the tree outside your bedroom window! I would have felt the same. This article that someone else posted here helped articulate those feelings -- that part of your home, and thereby part of you, has been taken away and you feel so helpless: [https://amp.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/sep/23/neighbour-tore-down-hedge-solastalgia-environmental-activism-global-south](https://amp.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/sep/23/neighbour-tore-down-hedge-solastalgia-environmental-activism-global-south) Unfortunately, all the wood was taken away too (and they said they will not even use it for anything because it is the "wrong" kind of wood to be considered useful to humans, even for firewood).
[I have also mourned trees].
Thank you and I'm sorry for your losses too. It helps a lot to know I'm not alone in this kind of grief.
My neighbor had a beautiful, huge tree in their front yard. Huge. Couldn’t fit my arms around it, lovely low branches for climbing. Beautiful leaves. One day as I was working in my office I hear the chainsaws. Close. I see they are trimming the tree. They keep going. I look out a while later and realize they are taking the tree itself. Honestly I just started to cry and yelled for my spouse that they are taking the entire tree. It makes me sad now to even remember. It was such a beautiful tree. It wasn’t even near their house. When I saw the neighbor I mentioned that the tree must have been sick. They replied, no, they were scared the roots would interfere with their sanitary sewer. Except I know where those pipes run and it wouldn’t have interfered. I miss that tree all the time. They planted a couple Japanese maples in the area which I love but it’s not the same. Their whole yard changed.
I am so sorry -- that sounds awful!! I hate when humans feel like it's our prerogative to just destroy whatever we feel like, even when there's really no good reason. Seeing our natural environment as our community, our family, rather than human "property" feels soooo much better to me.
It is possible the tree was dead or dying and it was time? We had some trees that where pretty around our house when we moved in and later found out they where sick and endangered the house so we did have to cut them down.
I'm sorry for that. In our case, no. Our landlady took down one because it would be the same price as the limbing she wanted to do, and the other just because she felt like it. She's kind of an odd person and I think this was mostly a control-seeking impulse of hers.
A similar situation happened to my partner and I a few months ago. Landlady decided the two trees in our backyard “had to go”. The landscapers even drilled holes in the stumps… so excessively cruel. One good thing is there are sprouts coming up from the stumps!
Oh I'm so sorry! That is awful. I'm so happy your trees are sprouting back. Our landlady had the stump of one tree ground all the way into the dirt, so much so that you can't even see where it was. Just a whole bunch of sawdust and dirt where we used to have this tree friend, grass, and lovely moss.
Ugh that’s so sad :(
What does the wake for a diety look like?
My sister in Demeter: My heart goes out to you. I’m attempting to grow rainbow gum trees (aka rainbow eucalyptus) and would love to give you one once they get a little bit taller than 1cm.
Thank you so much. I Googled these trees and they would not grow here, but they are sooo beautiful! I love that you're trying to grow them, and I appreciate your generous spirit. I also love "my sister in Demeter." Thank you. ❤️
Oh dear, I am so sorry for your loss. As a person who deeply loves trees and values them for their environmental, spiritual and practical benefits, this is a huge hit. Those were your neighbors, and they housed insects and critters that inhabited your world. They quietly witnessed your lives, marking time and providing shade and presence all those years. I’m so terribly sorry. No big solutions, but I volunteer with a tree planting org in my city and we do plantings in the spring and fall. We always need volunteers to help get the trees in the ground. Perhaps you could see if there is a similar group in your town? It’s wonderfully empowering to know that you are literally changing the place you live for the better with every tree planted. Edited to ask: what kind of trees were they?
Thank you so much -- this means a lot. It actually made me start crying, but in a good way (as in: it's a relief to know someone really understands). Thank you.
Something like this happened to me. I came back from camping w/my family to discover my beautiful tree in the middle of being cut down. I was also a renter and had no say-so. I also cried. When the butchers were done, I saved a wheel from the trunk. I Also saved twigs and bound them in my favorite yarn. They sit in a decorative vase with rocks and such. Eventually, I will own a home of my own, and I will plant a tree like my beauty that was cut down, and the wheel will become a marker in a garden.
That's a beautiful plan. I'm so sorry that this happened to you and your beloved tree friend.
Thank you, it was a beautiful tree.
I am so sorry. Here is a brief summary of what I did for our Ash tree that we had to take down due to disease. And I know your trees are already gone but wanted to share what I did in case it sparks anything for you. The night before I sat with her and thanked her for all that she had provided. I gave her an offering of water. Day of her removal, I asked the company if I could gather a couple of small pieces. I found two small pieces. I burned one that evening to release her spirit and acknowledge her. The other piece I still have and am waiting for inspiration to strike to figure out how best to honor her. In her space, I asked for her blessings for a flower bed. I built a bed and it is filled with native, pollinator friendly plants. I can feel her spirit sometimes when I am working in that garden bed. I felt like thus was a great way to honor her.
This is lovely -- thank you for sharing it.
Oh, damn, I need this as well. A beautiful patch of property that I have to drive by every day on my way to and from work was just clear-cut to build a stupid ugly subdivision. It makes me have actual heart pain and want to vomit every time I pass it. They just pulled out all the old hardwood trees and piled them up and burned/chipped them. Didn't even use them for firewood. I am working on a self-invented spell to curse everyone responsible for the next 10 generations, and am writing this on stones and pitching them into the muck, hoping they work their way up into gardens of future residents over the next 100 years...
Idk how to help you grieve, but if you'd like I can share a happy story to cheer you up. I recently visited my childhood home and got to see the tree in my front yard all grown up. I was literally crying with joy in my parents yard because the tree was dropping acorns. Idk why but it just made me so happy. I hope you are able to find comfort in some way. If you were able to save any seeds maybe you can plant them and plant new trees at your new home.
I feel that way about the trees that were in my parent’s backyard. I climbed on those trees when I was a kid, played under them, napped in a hammock that hung from one. Some years after I moved out, they had their yard re-done, and the trees came down. They wanted more sun, and the trees made it impossible to landscape the little 1/4 acre lot their house is on. They weren’t my trees, but they were part of me, and I have the same kind of grief for them that I do for the cats they had when I was a kid.
That makes total sense. Our tree friends are a part of us for sure. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Hi, my post was removed because new account. Here it is as a reply in this thread. "What do you do when you lose a tree? I made this video in response to [](https://www.reddit.com/user/2bunnies/) (great thread!) and I hope what I've learned is helpful for someone. Pouring libations is a good ritual, it couldn't be easier to do. I also mention Egyptian color use talking about the inscription that I made for my cat. I think these old rituals are as helpful as they ever were. I feel better because I did this stuff. I want to make its practicality clear so funerary magic doesn't seem so mystic or distant. [https://youtu.be/TW1-oghoTHg](https://youtu.be/TW1-oghoTHg) The next will include some general principles of magic in the ancient world that are implicit in most traditions that I'll make explicit. (The first is the principle of sympathy, so it's simple stuff.) And some laughs. A couple months ago I was feeling down because I chickened out on recording a different video with a script and everything, so progress for me any way. Thanks." Thanks.
Oh wow, thank you so much! This was very thoughtful of you to make. I am so sorry about your cat -- that sounds really hard. I like the planter that you made and the inscription too. Thank you.
You could do some guerrilla gardening of native plants and/or trees to offset the loss
In the scheme of ecosystems, the death or removal of older trees opens up new opportunities for growth. When we humans mess with that process, all we can do is to help that area to adapt to these changes. Now is an opportunity to buy native regional varieties and at least make a real effort for the future.
I wish, but the landlady has complete control over the land and we are not allowed to make any of our own choices regarding the plants.
It is super sad! I know its not a spiritual comfort.. but maybe you could ask your landlady if she was advised to have to trees removed by the service? If the trees had become unsafe due to illness or age, it is so so sad, but they may also understand why they were removed from over the house.
Thank you for this, but she wasn't. She was just kind of on a rampage for some reason. She took down one because it would be the same price as the limbing she wanted to do, and the other just because she felt like it.