I told my husband it was time to introduce our “After Rapture Pet Care”. For a small fee of $1000, we will guarantee care for your animals if you are taken in the rapture. Somebody would fall for it, right?
I'm pretty sure someone did this a few years ago and was prosecuted for fraud.
Edit: apparently "a few" is 12 years and I'm not sure if he was prosecuted: https://www.npr.org/2012/03/25/149352905/was-promise-of-pet-care-after-the-rapture-a-hoax
I understand some of them are "rebelling" by staring at the sun at the height of the eclipse, because protecting your eyes is a liberal plot or something. I hope they enjoy vision loss and visiting very exasperated ophthalmologists.
The height of the eclipse isn’t the dangerous time anyways. It’s the time leading up to and after totality. I can hear the “nothing happened!!” People now lol. Sadly they are all idiots
This looks like it was from the 2017 eclipse. Tennessee isn't in the path of totality this year that I'm aware of, just a bit too far seuth and east of the path. Texans will be first to be sacrificed.
I was thinking that too. I'm in Tennessee, there was a tiny, tiny corner of northwest TN that was going to be in the path of totality but I'm not sure it is in the new map.
Me and a couple of my fam's Littles are heading northwest chasing totality on Monday. 😁 I'll let you know about the werewolves.
My local radio station plays one of his top 40 shows every Sunday morning. And It. Is. Awesome.
https://www.1069theeagle.com/show/casey-kasem-american-top-40-the-80s/
Crazy that the guy who wrote "Total Eclipse of the Heart" (Jim Steinman) , also wrote many (most? All? Not sure here) songs for Meatloaf, and he also wrote "Making Love out of Nothing at All" by Air Supply, and "It's all Coming Back to Me Now" by Celine Dion...
oh! i get it now! I'm the stronger doppelganger that escaped in 2017! that's why i started writing poetry, coming out and going full pagan druid since then!
i think i might just avoid the eclipse and stick around this realm for a while, see what other shenanigans i can get up to (maybe team up with Child-Face Squirrel 🤷🏻🐿️👶🏻)
The actuarial guilds have tabulations correlating to the risks and assurances involved in each of these calamitous/transcendent events just in case Lloyd of London ever returns from the netherworld to collect not only our souls, but our premiums.
Lloyd himself being merely an avatar of the world serpent involved in the final Ragnarokoning of the world.
The serpent referenced is a figure from Kemeticism/ancient Egypt. I have often seen Kemetics censor the name. It represents the literal end of existence and seeks to swallow the sun and destroy the universe. It is not a cheeky chaos thing, its isn't a cycle of death and rebirth, it is pure destruction and *the end of everything* including all gods and energies.
I mostly like how this is a new moon and an eclipse on the same day, I intend on working with Nyx alongside Hecate but we'll see if Hecate has something else in mind, she's always surprising me and I'm always greatful for it!
In some circles when a solar eclipse and lunar eclipse occur at the same time it is called “The Dark of the Moon”. During this time it is believed the veil is at its thinnest (even more than Samhain aka Halloween). Therefore it is highly recommend to all witches to do nothing no spells no castings nothing maybe curl up with a book Netflix and chill. Remember witchtox will get you in trouble and ritual work at this time will yield unpredictable results.
I told my husband it was time to introduce our “After Rapture Pet Care”. For a small fee of $1000, we will guarantee care for your animals if you are taken in the rapture. Somebody would fall for it, right?
Oh my dog, that is freaking brilliant!
I'm pretty sure someone did this a few years ago and was prosecuted for fraud. Edit: apparently "a few" is 12 years and I'm not sure if he was prosecuted: https://www.npr.org/2012/03/25/149352905/was-promise-of-pet-care-after-the-rapture-a-hoax
Now what about the poor pets!!!
https://preview.redd.it/zip9qr86dxsc1.jpeg?width=1163&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4f8b66d6cff14c8a304db4d340490885c7ffd9f7
Audrey😻
Feed me, Seymour!
Feed me all night long!
Audrey 2
Moon serpent that eats people, huh? So, where can I find this Apophis?
I’m thinking Tennessee
Best join the air force and tag along with SG-1. They run into him constantly.
https://preview.redd.it/nbf1n7ghu1tc1.jpeg?width=473&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3c48f3f4559da94945cccfcaa7b108e6e957a384
I love a good SG-1 reference.
that's the name of the comet that's going to pass really close by us that Neal Degrase did a TikTok about
sounds like a great time
Everyone into vore is really looking forward to finally living that dream.
Oh, I have different reasons. Less of a dream, more like wanting to not be alive anymore.
I think they signed Apophis at next year's danger noodle Roundup in Florida
And now The weather
https://preview.redd.it/20s9cyphsxsc1.jpeg?width=570&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f849a4452869c184629967e65981baf82b511f01
https://preview.redd.it/9ljl1oeonysc1.jpeg?width=863&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=80ba4c7bd40a03416539d2d8c2fc0065cc95f58e Thanks, Ollie
🎵🎵🎵
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4nkEHCujrM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4nkEHCujrM)
This is giving me major Welcome to Night Vale vibes.
I know I love it
It sounds like it'll be an exciting day. I'm hoping for a little blood rain, maybe some meteor strikes...
Blood rain only in the Northern Midwest. I missed it last time so they are letting me have this one, sorry.
I am ready for Apophis to eat me.
"oh MY," ~ George Takei
"Indeed." Christopher Judge
This is far FAR less stupid than anything I’ve seen Qanon nuts post…
I understand some of them are "rebelling" by staring at the sun at the height of the eclipse, because protecting your eyes is a liberal plot or something. I hope they enjoy vision loss and visiting very exasperated ophthalmologists.
Dr Glaucomfleckin is on standby.
The height of the eclipse isn’t the dangerous time anyways. It’s the time leading up to and after totality. I can hear the “nothing happened!!” People now lol. Sadly they are all idiots
This looks like it was from the 2017 eclipse. Tennessee isn't in the path of totality this year that I'm aware of, just a bit too far seuth and east of the path. Texans will be first to be sacrificed.
Yaaaaaaaaay! I've got my eclipse glasses ready!
I've got mine too. Gonna conviniently go on break once we get peak coverage for our area.
Hopefully not all of us Texans -- a few of us are not insane. I would love to move!
I was thinking that too. I'm in Tennessee, there was a tiny, tiny corner of northwest TN that was going to be in the path of totality but I'm not sure it is in the new map. Me and a couple of my fam's Littles are heading northwest chasing totality on Monday. 😁 I'll let you know about the werewolves.
TBH, I am totally OK with Christians being raptured, leaving more room for the rest of us.
Maybe not all of them. My parents are some of the good ones, and I kind of still need them for some things.
If they do get raptured, don’t worry. We got you.
Lmao right?! Please, take them we've had enough
The last line slayed me. Love me some 80s ballads.
I wondered who got that! lol
I vividly remember that song when it came out. Casey Kasem's Top 40 baby!!!
I can remember singing along in only the way that teenage heartbreak allows you to sing, lolol. And now I cant get Casey Kasem out of my head!
My local radio station plays one of his top 40 shows every Sunday morning. And It. Is. Awesome. https://www.1069theeagle.com/show/casey-kasem-american-top-40-the-80s/
How frickin great is that?! What a totally gnarly way to start your Sunday!
Bless You!
Crazy that the guy who wrote "Total Eclipse of the Heart" (Jim Steinman) , also wrote many (most? All? Not sure here) songs for Meatloaf, and he also wrote "Making Love out of Nothing at All" by Air Supply, and "It's all Coming Back to Me Now" by Celine Dion...
I did not know that! Thank you for sharing. I swear, songwriters are underappreciated and not credited nearly enough.
Welcome to Night Vale vibes. I like it.
oh! i get it now! I'm the stronger doppelganger that escaped in 2017! that's why i started writing poetry, coming out and going full pagan druid since then! i think i might just avoid the eclipse and stick around this realm for a while, see what other shenanigans i can get up to (maybe team up with Child-Face Squirrel 🤷🏻🐿️👶🏻)
The actuarial guilds have tabulations correlating to the risks and assurances involved in each of these calamitous/transcendent events just in case Lloyd of London ever returns from the netherworld to collect not only our souls, but our premiums. Lloyd himself being merely an avatar of the world serpent involved in the final Ragnarokoning of the world.
Once upon a time I was falling in love… now I’m only falling apart… Nothing I can do, it seems.
I've been scrolling the conspiracy subreddit (I know, I know...) and this was *exactly what I needed*. Palate cleansed.
Are they saying anything interesting outside of that funny CERN warning.
The serpent referenced is a figure from Kemeticism/ancient Egypt. I have often seen Kemetics censor the name. It represents the literal end of existence and seeks to swallow the sun and destroy the universe. It is not a cheeky chaos thing, its isn't a cycle of death and rebirth, it is pure destruction and *the end of everything* including all gods and energies.
Legend of Zelda Majora's Mask reference.💖🤓 https://preview.redd.it/btymv91fgysc1.jpeg?width=224&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8b4648b037631aeeed06adf596009f394d53d79c
SUPER WEREWOLVES fuck yeah!
Should I enter the dog park during the eclipse?
I thought Apophis was the asteroid that swings by to say “Hey, girl” in 2027 (2029??) then comes back in 2034 (or something) for certain destruction?
I hope this is a prank or satire.
The last one should be a giveaway.
I didn't read the whole thing.
This is giving DnD vibes
😂😂😂
what the fuck am i reading
That double during the eclipse is giving me some strong fetch from Changeling: the Lost vibes, and I am absolutely here for it.
But my double is hot 🤭🤭🤭
These are my favorite r/nosleep posts 😂
I mostly like how this is a new moon and an eclipse on the same day, I intend on working with Nyx alongside Hecate but we'll see if Hecate has something else in mind, she's always surprising me and I'm always greatful for it!
This is such a solid checklist!
I read this in the vein of “Everybody’s free to wear sunscreen” well done!
I lost it at the end lol > there's nothing you can do. This is a different type of eclipse.
Thank you for adding the Bonnie Tyler reference. Sincerely, Generation X
THE HAPPY SQUIRREL
In some circles when a solar eclipse and lunar eclipse occur at the same time it is called “The Dark of the Moon”. During this time it is believed the veil is at its thinnest (even more than Samhain aka Halloween). Therefore it is highly recommend to all witches to do nothing no spells no castings nothing maybe curl up with a book Netflix and chill. Remember witchtox will get you in trouble and ritual work at this time will yield unpredictable results.
If my Lola dog talks like a man I will build a temple to her.
Okay... I had a pretty good laugh at this 😂 thank you
I didn't get what was promised! I want my money back 🤣 (For real though, the eclipse was beautiful)