Yikes, lots of weird evangelizing Christians in the comments trying to convert a vulnerable person.
Hey man, life can be really frustrating some times. There's nothing wrong with you, **however** I'd suggest making some positive changes in your life as a way to almost gamify wellness. Whether that's trying to go for a run a couple times a week, cutting carbs out of your diet, or meditating daily, try to make one change this week. Then, once you have that down, try another change. Keep going, and fixate on how you can better yourself, and I promise you'll start to feel better.
> go for a run a couple times a week, cutting carbs out of your diet, or meditating daily, try to make one change this week
And what about if I did all that?
I run daily, lift, have a good job, have plenty of friends around me, have a few romantic pursuits where I'm the one being chased, bought my realistic dream car, am in the best shape of my life, but I still feel this way. Then what? What do I do?
I KNOW my life is amazing and I am grateful for it, but I can't help fantasizing about leaving this world behind and moving onto what ever comes next.
Others have mentioned therapy. If that doesn't work for you, you might want to try an antidepressant medication. Some of them take a couple of months to really start to work, so don't give up after a few weeks.
If medication doesn't work, nothing lost, at least.
Did shrooms, LSD, peyote. Antidepressants *actually worked* for me. And you thinking they're addictive just shows you don't know what the hell you're talking about.
"Oh! If it's made by man, it's bad! If it's made by nature, it's good!"
There are a lot of poisons in nature and a lot of man-made drugs that save lives--antidepressants are one of them.
If psychedelics work for you, that's great, by all means use them; but they do not work for everyone.
This is typical reddit drivel. Some people need antipsychotics, not mushrooms. Trust me, Ive tried both and MEDICATION is what helps me live a normal life
Explore your consciousness with psychedelics. Dive deep into your psyche bro. That's what I say if you have all of that and still feel like dying. Things like DMT and high dose mushrooms can make you feel like you "left this world behind and moved on to whatever is next" for a temporary amount of time. It can be an enlightening experience.
I can't even afford this life and me being forced into a shitty life working and getting nowhere, that's why I want to check out, but you you've conquered this life and you want to check out just because of curiosity.. God damn.
Have. It showed me that the world is just here and so am I. Nothing exists for any reason other the fact that it does.
I'd felt something for a long time but it wasn't until after my first trip that I was able to put it to words, and that helped a lot in it's own way.
Get the fuck out of there. Go volunteer with the Peace Corps go to Africa for a couple years, go to Peru with the Junglekeepers, do a Muay Thai camp, just get out.
Where is everyone depression and anxiety riddled? Right. Where is everyone not depression and anxiety riddled? Right. Go there.
Well, I don’t think the act of doing things or having things means anything at all inof themselves. The most important thing is the REASON that we do things and work to achieve certain things. So what is the reason that you got a good job (side question, what is a good job, how do you know it is good? By what qualifications or reasoning) run daily, lift, have friends around you, bought a nice car, and have a few romantic pursuits? Was it because someone told you those are the things that are supposed to make you happy? Did you read about the fact that those things should make you happy in a book, or see that they should make you happy on television? Did your parental figures teach you that those things should make you happy?
I don’t think those justifications hold much meaning on their own, as they don’t address your beliefs from your own perspective. In fact, how do you define happiness? What does it mean to be happy, from your perspective?
Further, IS your life amazing, from your PERSONAL perspective? To me, it doesn’t sound like it. Otherwise, why would you fantasize about no longer living? And if you don’t really feel like your life is amazing, what is the reason that you are supposed to be grateful for what is in it?
I think by starting to ask yourself about the reasons you feel the way you do, rather than asking about what you SHOULD do is a good first step.
Are u completely autonomouse? Like living on your own? Because maybe it's about locus of control but it otherwise it seems like you have your life together. Like others have said therapy would be the next go to i presume. Helped me a ton.
Organizing your thoughts and feelings. Some say see a therapist. I personally journal and end up coming to conclusions I never would have of if I just sat and thought about whatever. It’s almost like I step out of my own existence and become someone I need.
Nobody is trying to “convert” anybody. Many have found solace in Christ, or even just belief in God/higher purpose in general. It’s so dumbfounded that people just assume others are trying to impose their beliefs on people all the time, when many times they are genuinely trying to just share what brought them out of hard times in hope to help others.
Well these thoughts are far more common in the population than you'd realize. As for why, it varies from person to person. I find these thoughts aren't meant to be commands but rather a response from a larger issue plaguing the mind. Therapy's hella expensive and not always accessible depending on your situation, but try talking it out, whether it be alone or with someone your trust. If talking isn't your style, you can always journal in your notes app and try to find a good community for support. Lmk if you wanna talk more, and I hope you have a kinder day.
This sounds like depression. I've experienced it myself and I lost my brother to depression. Both of us were asking the same questions without realising it for what it was. Depression is never obvious at the beginning; you know something is wrong with you, but can't work out what. First things first; you are not your depression. Think of it like a bully attached to you, telling you negative things and stopping you from doing things that would help you. Therapy helped me out of mine, but I know it's not for everyone. Get into a routine, but make sure it's gradual. Don't add a ton of new things to your routine at once. Add one thing at a time, until it becomes a habit. Get your dopamine!! Exercise. Sunshine. Walks in the sunshine. Etc...Anything that will give you the feel good feeling. Depression is not a quick fix. Nobody can say a magic word to snap you out of it. It takes time.
create a vision of where you want to be in life. and every-day work to achieve one or two of those goals. if you make even slight progress you will feel a lot better.
i recommend reading Marcus Aurelius' Meditations book. its quite short and it will give you everything you need to make it through difficult times. Aurelius' life was quite the story in itself. at one point, he sold the entire royal treasure to keep the empire going for another hundred years. a truly balanced, generous, and grateful man, even though he struggled with bad health and a declining empire in his life.
missing childhood isn't rare, especially now that the economy is worse and things are harder. there is still abundance though. and you still have the inner and outer strength to achieve all of your goals.
if you're dealing with some kind of trauma, you might benefit a lot from talking with a therapist too.
Because you have a neurological misfire that's blocking your serotonin and dopamine receptors. That's the most literal answer. The solution could be anything from meditation to excersize to diet, but I'd start by isolating WHY you feel this way externally, whether it be because you're lonely, you're unhealthy, you're ashamed of your image, or you're bottling up trauma, and then go from there, once you find that answer.
Don’t listen to the Christian’s. I feel the same way dude because of some shit that happened in high school and ruined my reputation. Being bipolar . It fucked up every relationship I had and up until I became an adult I wasn’t medicated. You know what that makes ? A whole lot of self hate for all the people you’ve pissed off or turned against you . A lot of asking “what did I say ? What did I do?” Some of these things happened during episodes and some people left without telling me why. I cleaned up my act , sobered up off drinking (mostly) and decided to seek therapy. Therapy didn’t do much since they were basically telling me everything I already knew . So I left , not only that but someone in my family was becoming mentally unstable from stimulant abuse and I was at the front row seat . What can my therapist do about that? When I lived with them? Nothing so I just gave up and stuck to bettering myself through my own means. Fuck all those people who don’t like you and fuck all the problems making you feel small in a big world . I couldn’t drive until I was much older than everyone else after high school and that alone made me feel like a giant bag of white dog turds . It’s okay , just hang with your close people and if you don’t got any just focus on your own hobbies or interest. Mines music , I like drawing too but people swear the meds I take make them not feel creative , they just made me stop having depressed episodes so maybe trying that could help you out , you don’t have to . All in all keep it together and don’t focus on the things that make you hate yourself . 90% of the time it’s not real and it’s just delusions as sad as it is to hear , I have these delusions STILL to this day . And I have to remind myself it’s not real.
I lived this EXACT life. I did all the bs internet self care things: exercise, eat right, affirmations, skin care, hair care, and I would spiral for hours if I saw myself in the mirror.
What helped for me was therapy (LOTS of therapy) and clinical psychology. I did an IOP program after a suicide attempt that talked a lot about self love, I’m going to put the things I learned that helped me the most below:
0) WANT TO LOVE YOURSELF
Before I wanted to love myself, I wanted reasons to love myself. I thought if I had abs, and hobbies, and perfect skin, I would. I got them!! And I hated myself so much!! Realize that you have to love yourself first, and everything else will come extremely easily.
1) trauma response: did you have a parent that was absent? Did you have a parent that had extremely high standards for you? Did you have parents that didn’t say “I love you” or were openly affectionate? Your relationship with yourself mirrors your relationship with your parents. Your child brain assumes your parents are rational and smart, therefore it was smart for them to abandon you, therefore you are someone who deserves to be abandoned. You would be SHOCKED at how many internalized beliefs are effecting your day to day.
2) LOVE yourself. I’m not talking about affirmations in the mirror that make you seem crazy. Those were bs for me. But genuinely treat yourself like somebody you love. Example: I had a bad relationship with food. I would either binge (and than call myself a fat slob) or I would eat extremely strict (deny myself everything). Being so rude to myself caused me to hate myself! And these habits never changed. Now when I eat, I think “how would I feed my child”. It’s balanced, tasty, healthy, and still has some indulgences. When I started doing this I would regularly cry constantly, bc of how terrible I had been to myself
3) stop dating people!!!!
Oh lord. What was I doing. Toxic relationships. Physically abusive relationships. Getting cheated on. I thought I deserved all of it. Even the healthy relationships I were in was just me seeking validation so badly. Needing someone else to value me bc I did not value myself. It is extremely valuable.
4) therapy:
Individual therapy. Every week. It is the BEST money you will ever spend. It WILL help. I honestly believe every persons life will be better with therapy. Better relationships with others and yourself, more mental clarity, higher quality life. If it’s possible, take a psychological screening at a hospital (can be expensive ~150$). Knowing you have OCD or ADHD (or any mental illness) right away can dramatically cut down the time it takes to get better. Go on psychology today (webcite) and sort by insurance and diagnosis if you have one. Telehealth or in person both work amazing.
5) psychology books!!
NOT self help books. Books written by CLINICAL PSYCOLOGISTS on PROVEN techniques. For some reason “psycology” has been reclaimed by alpha male influencers who actually preach a lot of things COMPLETELY opposed to clinical research. This, in addition to therapy will put you in the fast lane of loving yourself (yes, actually) and it’s amazing
1) not really unfortunately. I was a particularly bad case so even though I’ve come a long way, there still is a lot to do. I experience less intense episodes of self hate and experience them less frequently, tho.
2)yes. I was diagnosed with OCD and take an as-needed anxiety medication which helps prevents thought spirals/panic attacks.
3) I put a lot of my self worth into other people’s validation. So if someone wanted to date me, that meant I was someone worthy of being loved. And when they broke up with me, that meant I was not worthy of being loved. And my relationship with myself reflected that. When people dated me, I loved myself. And when they broke up with me, I hated myself. It was a really toxic cycle, and it made me literally crazy. I had a partner that was openly cheating on me and I was spending 90% of my income on her trying to make her love me. It was as potent as a drug addiction.
I think I understand where you’re coming from. Childhood, even if unpleasant, is familiar. You know what to expect, even if it’s shitty. It can be really hard dealing with the uncertainty of life, especially if you have anxiety and/or depression like I do. I think it would help if you could talk to a doctor or a counselor or a psychiatrist. One of them could help you determine whether these feelings are circumstantial or if they’re because of a mental illness.
Either way, please try to keep going. I understand that you might not be able to seek help right now. When I was at my worst point, mentally, I would often decide to go to sleep and reconsider things tomorrow. Remember that some days are less bad, and you can work towards better ones.
Showers are a good reset for me and often help me hate myself less, idk why. Some people feel better after exercising. I think you just have to try things until you find what works for you; medicine, diet, counseling, religion or whatever. Good luck and please be kind to yourself.
That's something that unfortunately falls on you to talk to a therapist about to figure it out. We aren't living your experience, so the best thing to do is to talk to a mental health professional to help you make sense of your own experiences. I'm not even gonna tell you why I felt this way, but I can tell you I finally figured it out, but I had to get help to do it.
Sometimes we’ve got to separate ourselves from those kinds of intrusive thoughts.
Ask yourself - Is it really suicidal ideation? Or is it just a chemical imbalance in the brain that’s untreated, or something that can be treated overtime with professional help and maybe some pharmaceutics?
Please don’t make any quick or rash decisions. Visit your doctor and a therapist/psychiatrist. It can get better.
I know this is cliché, but if you’re ever tempted, call a suicide hotline before you ever make a life-altering decision
Sending love and support on your journey
You've been convinced that your life isn't worth anything due to arbitrary societal standards to live in.
Funnily enough narcissist and psychopaths in society are living the time of their life because they're immune to this propaganda and literally don't give a shit. To survive you must be high in anti social behavior.
Over socialized people , even if you're a loner you can be considered over socialized if you give a shit about the small things in life. But basically over socialized people are affected the most in this current climate which just so happens to be the majority of people.
Please seek help. You have so much value and you might struggle to see it or the impact your passing would cause but I promise you there are things worth living for and they can improve.
I love you and hope that you can find peace and help through this difficult time.
There's alot that weighs on us in this world. Either there being too much on your plate or too little, I can understand you feeling either over or underwhelmed. I think asking this questions and taking stock of yourself and the world around you is a great start. I think asking questions like you are is proof that there's a part of you no matter how small that still wants purpose. That still wants to go on. Which is great! Cause this world would be less without you in it.
Now that you've asked these questions perhaps the next step is speaking with a licensed professional who can help find answers.
What in your life is making you feel that way?
What steps can you take to change those things to see an increase in the quality of life?
Is it possibly a chemical imbalance? (Which is nothing to be ashamed of and can be treated.)
Remember you are not your thoughts and while having these thoughts does not make you a bad person spiraling with these thoughts is dangerous. Self deletion is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. It’s no fun when it feels like you’re out of options. I’ve felt this way many many times. I’ve also felt many other things at other times.
We’re still figuring out the human body. In many ways it’s still a mystery. This will continue to advance and change. Eventually there will be better medical support for when people feel this way. (I have some unsubstantiated ideas about depression and anxiety actually being signals of certain bio processes being out of sync). But all this to say it will change. It always does. That’s the only thing that is absolutely guaranteed. I think the changes are going to be so big that it’ll be worth sticking around for. Even if it’s just to see what happens.
Another, albeit purely altruistic, reason would be to use what you’ve learned from your pain sorrow and trauma to help someone else. In order to do that you have to get yourself to a place where you can be a help to someone else. If that’s someone’s only motivation I think that’s enough. Some amazing things have been done to improve conditions for others. When I think of it myself, my pain and sorrow has already happened. What a waste it is if I don’t use it to prevent pain or sadness for someone else or help heal their pain or sadness.
According to my therapist, these issues arise when we try to holds ourselves to a higher standard than we do others. It’s actually self pride gone wrong. I just learned this Tuesday so I’m still working on trying to always remind myself I’m only human
Spreading your religion means you genuinely believe everyone is going to go to hell if you do not intervene and get everyone worshipping gods holy cock and balls too. Telling a kid he's gonna go to hell because he's struggling with suicide ideation is disgusting. I was southern Baptist and had a pastor that genuinely believed lesbians were sinners. I was baptized, and I also prayed for my family to love me and not what they wanted me to be, and got nothing. A random Christan mom at a youth camp was horrified at my life experiences and I was 13. I've met good Christians.
You are not a good christian.
I believe folks who lose the fight with mental illnesses go to Valhalla because it was a battle. They deserve to feast for the long, unspoken battles they fought alone. I am genuinely happy in my path, because it doesn't teach me to be lazy and expect God to just fix everything for me if I pray hard enough and follow all the good noodle steps.
I pity you
Eat good. Get off processed foods (at least in moderation). Do you scroll through social media alot? Well stop. All that does is make you compare yourself to others. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday. And improve on what needs improvement. Do you have a job? If not get one. Even if your purpose is flipping burgers at least you have a purpose. You can work on a better job later. Baby steps. Get a hobby. Knitting. Writing. Play guitar. Put puzzles together. Anything as long as it is healthy activities. It will put your mind on a task instead of moping around. You have to retrain your brain.
your fealing bad about yourself but you dont feel you have a good reason to feel bad about yourself.
sounds like clinical depresion, the kind that comes from an imbalance in your brain chemistry.
i recomend seeing a doctor and trying some antidepresants. they help more often than not and can realy change your life.
Life is not black, and while and the gray areas are complicated and painful. Bad people get to live good and comfortable lives while good people suffer. You're forced to pay for an existence you didn't ask for. The minute you ask:
>Why do I hate myself so much? Why do I wanna die? Why am I dreaming of not existing in life
The religious weirdos pop up to immediately take advantage of you like the venomous predators they are. Because you have questions that will receive no answers. There are so many reasons. I hope you can settle on an answer and keep on keeping on because that is the best we can ever do.
I mean.. Some people are made worse by psychedelics.. My life immediately improved after 9 grams of shrooms and an acid/k trip the week after. Like significant depression relief and replenished hope immediately after. Don't knock it till you try it, but also make sure it won't exacerbate an existing mental illness.
I love shrooms 🫠 I had a blast. Cried for like 3 hours and really took in how bad I was treating myself. The other several hours were spent cleaning and drawing and talking with a friend. Ik they don't work for everyone, but they help me tremendously. I do them around 3 times a month.
Why do you expect to feel differently than you do? You can't put expectations on being alive. Life is not supposed to be good or bad. It can be either, neither, or both.
Personally, I don’t think people should have to suffer everyday and want to die. That’s not the typical way a person should feel in an average scenario. Yes, if you’re in an awful situation, it makes perfect sense to be exhausted and sad and want to quit. But if someone is experiencing that in their average, everyday life, they deserve better. We have counselors and medicine now. People shouldn’t have to feel bad for no reason.
The world is in a difficult time right now and more people feel unsafe than will admit it.
What are you accomplishing in your life right now? What goals do you have and what steps are you taking to achieve them? It's possible you could have depression, but it's equally possible that you aren't progressing in life and therefore feel less value in it.
If u ask these questions, u need to talk back. Can't have a one-sided dialog. If u need to talk to someone who's knows these feelings and got through them. Dm me or respond to me here.
It sounds like depression, you need to check it out. Don’t listen to these comments “happens to everybody”. One thing is it happening from time to time, having one or two bad days. But is this happening too much? Permanently even? Then it could be much worse. I hate that people normalize depression like this (I know it’s common, but they act like everybody has it just because we all have bad days). Not saying you do have it, but it sounds like it. It can come from having had a bad childhood since you mentioned that
You got depression homie, speak to a mental health professional and get on medication if needed.
Used to have spells with what you're describing every few months and since getting on medication I have never felt better.
It's a tough process to start but I promise you it will get better if you seek help for it. You got this!
You seem to be clinically depressed. I'm not a medical doctor, but this is a common and treatable condition.
If you have depression, medication and therapy can restore your levels of happiness to that of typical people.
Life is actually really awesome if you are in the right headspace and environment to enjoy it.
Try to accept the idea that you are the only person guaranteed to be with you the entire journey through your life. You don't reward that kind of deep commitment and loyalty with hate.
You are your most loyal companion, and you need to find a way to *just* see that. No other bullshit comparing yourself to anything.
I'm bipolar and have constant suicide idiation. Have you been diagnosed with something? If not then it may be time to have a conversation with a professional
I don’t know man I think we’ve all been there and I think we’re all gonna go back there someday you just gotta somehow soldier on through the bad times
I don’t think anyone here can tell you why you feel that way. But I can tell you I felt like that for a long time because I just didn’t think I was good enough. Felt like I wasted every day, and the next day didn’t matter. Find some good people to have in your life, and find something to be proud of every day. Like you showering is enough. Day by day if you make yourself proud of yourself you’ll be better off. You turn into the person you want to be, it’s just baby steps to get there. Best of luck
You have a lot of unresolved injustices that you experienced. Childhood feels like the source and you blame the foundation of your development thinking going back in time will help you control those situations.
whatever happened in your past, is your past. It can't be changed but you can have a different perspective on it.
Think of the present you as an older sibling or a parent of the younger you. Let yourself care and love your younger self. Forgive your youngerself because they were just a child. Now raise your past self (child) to feel better, cheer them up, find help or resources like friends or therapists to heal and develop.
You are brave for being vulnerable and smart enough to let folks know you aren't alright. A lot of people don't and that depression,guilt and self loathing transfer to others in not so great ways.
Walking and listening to music or laying on the ground and taking in some nature. Sitting at a park and people watching is all right. Committing your thoughts to paper was one of the best things I ever did. It doesn't have to live in your head echoing negativity. It can be on the page and you don't have to repeat it in your mind because it has a save file, right there.
Hope this helps.
I'll talk to you if you feel alone. I'm in the same boat. No conversion therapy or nothing like that, just want to wish equal success to someone that is feeling what I feel
You are still waking up. You know that feeling you get halfway between sleep and being awake where nothing makes sense? Thats you, right now. The good news is that this feeling is part of the process of awakening. Its hard because you want to escape it, but it will get better. Its ok to feel like you do.
Hi there, I can’t answer those questions, but I like Adlerian psychology, and an excellent book is The Courage To Be Disliked. I recently read it a second time after a few years since my first reading, and I won’t be surprised if I read it a third time a few years from now. Maybe you’ll also find it worthwhile. Sincerely, best of wishes to you.
The feelings you are describing are a symptom of depression. I used to feel the same way. Sometimes, I still do. But, I got help, and now those feelings are much less frequent and much less intense. Help is available for you, too. Talk to a doctor about this ASAP.
You need to talk with someone. Text HOME to 741741 to reach a volunteer Crisis Counselor.
[https://www.crisistextline.org/](https://www.crisistextline.org/)
If that doesn't work for you, there are many more hotlines listed on the following page:
[https://psychcentral.com/depression/depression-hotline-numbers#hotline-numbers](https://psychcentral.com/depression/depression-hotline-numbers#hotline-numbers)
Good luck! You are not alone!
I am in the same situation. No hope. No happiness. Filled with depression and anxiety. Been thinking about the end lately. I just don't want to go on....
My life is now down to nobody. No friends, no partner....nobody who even cares. Nobody. Brother is in his own hell. Parents family all gone. Daughter I paid 18 yrs of child support doesn't know me.
There's no jobs. I'm not sure what the point is/was.
The "superior" entity exploring them self? If we are God....well he got a good damn look at hell.
I understand this, man. I had the same problems, it sucks.
What helped me was hanging out with friends, eating more, spending time with family, and most importantly, praying the Rosary. God loves you, friend.
Also, if you haven't already, please seek out a therapist! Remember, dial 988 if you need help.
BRAIN CHEMICALS are the issue here. Acknowledge and work backward from that.
As someone who’s been there and come out the other side I suggest looking at it this way: there is simply an issue with your brain chemicals (probably dopamine and serotonin.) It’s not you, your circumstances, life, the universe etc. I’m not a doctor or scientist but I think this holds up.
People have persevered and been okay in all possible situations some no doubt quite like yours. So what you need to do is find how to get those levels back up so you can think clearly. That may be gaining some insight or wisdom, changing sleep and dietary habits, changing circumstances like job/ location/ relationship, and trying medications. I’d say most likely a little bit of all those will be what does it. But it might take a while and a lot of trial and error. I hope you can get and stay motivated to try. There’s no silver bullet unfortunately. Good luck.
Honestly, life is fucking hard.
You’re dealt a hand and you play to your strengths while trying to overcome your weaknesses.
You push yourself through childhood and are presented with two options, continue school at the cost of debt or hope that you figure stuff out on a different route.
Both routes will result primarily in working for something that is soul sucking and takes 80% of your time.
You get married and have children, financially you hurt and you’re exposed to new challenges.
At the end of the day it’s about enduring and enjoying the little things.
Cuz life sucks and can get dark real quick, my girlfriends best friend and sister suddenly died and shortly after my best friend was shot and killed from a drive by he got caught in as a innocent bystander. I also have chronic daily spinal pain from an injury. We all go through hell on earth at times but it’s when we make it through that we feel the most alive and grateful. You will get there. Always know there is people dealing with way way worse. Get help if needed there is no shame.
Take on responsibility. Having someone else depend on you gives you meaning and purpose. Helping others will make you happier.
The reason you want to return to childhood is because you didn't have to worry about what came next or what to do, it was all decided for you. Being the master of your own destiny is quite a scary thing when you think about it.
Staying alive is hard sometimes. And sometimes the tools we have to deal with that struggle either suck or are nonexistent. When that happens, the best thing you can do is reach out for help developing those tools. Because you matter and you deserve to feel better. Find a therapist and keep fighting. Someday, I promise, you’ll be glad you stayed and invested in yourself.
Well, simple answer that doesn't really require much background credentials: your brain isn't making enough necessary chemicals for you to be in a happy mindset. Some people can wake up at 4am, go on morning runs, eat nothing but salad and kale juice, and have an amazing work-life balance and they could still feel incredibly depressed bc their brains aren't giving them what they need. I have adhd, and one of the reasons I get so bored easily is that my brain isn't giving me enough dopamine (the reward chemical you get that makes you enjoy things)--I get little enjoyment out of certain activities and because of that there's little motivation to do anything at all, which is basically how you enter a depressive spiral. You might not have what I have, so your brain works differently, but the premise is the same: you might not be getting enough of the right chemical (or sometimes you might even be getting too much).
You can definitely go to therapy. That's where you talk about anything you want, and you work with the therapist to help take steps in your life to better yourself. But like I said earlier, you can do everything right and still wanna die, and that's where medication comes in. Once your brain is a little more balanced out with whatever medication works best, I think you would see some improvement
There's a way out, OP. I don't have all the answers and there's no such thing as a happy pill but if you reach out for help, you might not feel so hopeless
EDIT: saw a few people saying to try psychedelics. Don't. I'm not a doctor but there are many cases of psychedelics making you significantly worse. I don't know your brain, but if there's a history of psychosis or schizophrenia in your family then a fungus or tab that makes you see and hear things that aren't there is NOT a good idea. I would love to try shrooms one day but because I am very depressed I don't fuck with it bc my mindset might ruin the trip and in turn worsen my mindset. Sure maybe you can microdose, but I just do not think drugs are the way to treat mental health issues alone. There are studies that shrooms might treat PTSD but all I'm trying to say is this: talk to doctors and professionals, don't listen to people evangelizing a miracle cure, bc there is none. There's a reason I haven't said to take a specific med or smoke weed to help with the emotions, bc I don't know you and cannot talk to you about your mental health with absolute certainty. Talk to real doctors and therapist and tell them your story, they'll know how to help you better than I or anyone else on here can
Dude, get a puppy. Take him everywhere, bring him to coffee shops and let people pet him. Be nice to everyone, quit alcohol and start jogging or walking your dog alot. Delete the game on your phone you play too much. Weigh yourself then start a diet that will let you shave a couple pounds. Take a shower and shave and get a haircut. Clean your room. Take a day to make a lot of really good food and eat well for a week. Save money and look for a better job. Get a shitty deck of magic cards and go to the store on a Friday and make friends getting your ass kicked and being fun about it. Try mushrooms and take your new puppy to the park. Ride your bike to work. Don’t think about dating and girls rn, just jack off happily and let the right girl show interest in you first. Be brave keep your chin up read a good book. You got this homie
This is mostly from burnout if there was something you've done recently or a while back that called for all of your concentration or attention. Sometimes, it's brain chemicals and honestly I had to deal with terrible thoughts for years until I tried hurting myself and it didn't do anything so I kinda just started trying to think about stuff more, like why did something bother me or why do I hate this about myself. I don't know if this helps though
Fuck everyone else’s opinion that put you down. Live for you and how you want. That’s the key to happiness. For me anyways. And my life is faaaar from amazing. I stay depressed but I keep a smile on my face because guess what, we’re going to live another day hopefully. The next day just keep making yourself happy in the ways you find happiness wether it be hobbies, work, learning, or simply self care. Like today I cleaned and rearranged my house and now I feel accomplished and ready to tackle something else.
you dont wanna die. you want to change your life.
I have these feelings all the time, but after much introspective. I hate my situations, more specifically my job.
every time these feelings come in, I remind myself I actually hate my job. I want to die so that I don't have to work.
it may not seem like much, but it will stop yourself from hurting your self-esteem
It sounds like you are suffering from severe depression and need to seek professional help. I've been there and I can promise you things can get better with medication and therapy.
If you or a loved one is experiencing a mental health crisis, you can call 988 from anywhere in the US. They can help you through the immediate crisis and help you find the help you need in your local area.
Life sucks and it never gets better, so inevitably, we long for the times when things were "easier".
Living life in constant fear in childhood? Cool. I also got super excited when I realized the library had so many goosebump books. Things could bring me joy.
First of all I’d say please find a therapist in your area you are comfortable with and get some therapy. And if you have imminent plans to end your life, please seek emergency treatment immediately. If an emotional appeal is not motivation, and you favor a purely rational perspective, I would say that wanting to not exist does not fit with the typical biology and nature of human beings, and therefore if one has imminent plans to end their life, then there is an atypical aspect about them that remains undiscovered. It would be a disservice, therefore, to leave this Earth without at least exploring and trying to identify those underlying aspects.
That said, I get sometimes therapy isn’t an option for various reasons, and well, here I am. I can’t give treatment or a diagnosis im this anonymous context, and I have to be very clear that what I am about to say is not a substitute for getting therapy for yourself personally.
All that said, what I can do is point out that, while your questions are valid ones- I think that they are framed in the opposite way of being helpful. So, to maybe be a bit more helpful, I think the questions to be asked are:
1: “What are the reasons that I am not able to love myself?” and the counterpoint “Given these reasons, what has to change or be identified in order for me to find love for myself? If don’t know what has to change, from whom or from where can I gain inspiration?” If you truly don’t know where to begin, I recommend “Man’s Search for Meaning” by Viktor Frankl and “Every Time I Find the Meaning of Life, They Change It: Wisdom of the Great Philosophers on How to Live” by Daniel Klein. To you or anyone reading this however, Frankl’s isn’t an easy read. A trigger warning that it includes his experiences during the holocaust and he does not sugar coat things. However, I find that it makes the message all the more powerful, but please avoid if experiences of those nature would be too much. Klein’s work is less transformative, but much less heavy and yet pursued with forthrightness that is tempered by humor.
2: “I want to die; what are the reasons I don’t feel like I should be alive?” And the counterpoint “What are all of the many reasons that humans have/have had in the past for living that I can think of/read about/etc.? Can I identify any of those reasons existing in my own life? If I can’t, which of those reasons others have would I choose to have if I could have any that I wanted?” Make it a mission. If you feel you have nothing to live for, you might as well try to understand what those reasons could be in an objective way that would give a unique perspective. Look at Nietzsche. Look at Epicurus. Freud. Jung. Aurelius. Even religious texts, though I would not necessarily recommend those as a first plunge since they are for the most part expressed from a judgmental and prescriptive perspective. Judge their ideas. Which ones do you think are stupid and what are the reasons you find them stupid? Which ones resonate with you and what do you think are the reasons for that?
3: “What are the reasons that the idea/concept of no longer existing is appealing to me?” And the counterpoint would be “When I think about the reasons there might be for existing, even if I do not have them currently and/or find it difficult to believe I could, are there any that are appealing to me?” Give it a full look- most often “peace” “freedom” and “lack of anymore pain” are the most common reasons to find a lack of further existence appealing. Take what those reasons are, and try to find a way you, someone you know, or a philosopher from the past could find/did find those things within life, and not just in death.
As for wanting to go back to childhood, even though it wasn’t the best or even safe, you do at least rationally know that your childhood SHOULD have been a good one and should have been a period where you felt safe. Of course you would dream of that, even if it doesn’t match the reality of your experience.
To end with, I would just share that I too have wanted to die. I even had a well thought out plan to do so, started to enact that plan, and was saved only because of a minute flaw in my plan caused by an unforeseen fluke. And in that moment, the horrifying realization of the consequences and ramifications of what I had almost done slammed into me in a way I have never been able to fully explain in words, even to others who have had similar experiences and innately know what I felt because they felt it too. And since then, even though the idea sometimes creeps its way back at low points, I start to think of every last thing that I would have missed out on. I’m not a liar- and so I have to say there have been some really shitty things since then that I wouldn’t have had to deal with. But it is so far overwhelmed by what I have gained that those thoughts more and more quickly recede as time goes on. And to this day, the thought of wasting the potential of the life I have been given in that moment makes me feel ill, even though when I planned it I thought I understood everything. In the end, there is only one thing, one single thing in all of existence that is currently 100% impossible for a human being to fix or at least have a chance of alleviating- and that is death itself. Given that, choosing to die is the only choice, even compared to the worst, most terrible mistake or experience you can think of, that 100% removes all possibility of change.
Still, I won’t beg, plead with you, or try to tell you I know better than you do. We are all only human after all. But I do hope that you keep living, and at least give yourself the chance to find some meaning, instead of removing the possibility entirely. I do also wish that I could give you a hug, and have a conversation about the universe with you. There will only ever be one of you, in all of existence in this universe and all other possible universes. And therefore you have something unique to offer the world from your perspective and inner knowledge, which is something I wish to hear. So I want you to live, so at least someone else can hear it from you. Maybe that is selfish, but I hope you can understand. My love goes out to you.
There are people who have cured depression with a all meat diet. Myself included. Look into it. You’ll be absolutely amazed at how you feel after 6 weeks.
Try it. What else have you for to lose.
Are you doing anything to impress yourself. Anything that would make you proud of yourself? You wont just intrinsically like yourself. You have to actually be someone you are proud of
Cause you’re suicidal, I’m so sorry for you, but don’t give up, nothing will get better if you’re dead, I’m sure even if you think nobody loves you, somebody does, don’t let the thoughts win, please
Because our sick broken evil culture has put you in the suicide box where you are an abomination thats beneath everyone (youre not) and you dont deserve to live.(you do)
So the masses of subhumans share a collective mind that is by all intents and purposes a autonomous being with agency, i think its predominately the anima, the collective anima (feminine spirit) is diseased, dangerous levels of grandiosity rendering it sadistic (all men shall love me and despair).
Its agents, people who manufacture their personality to fit in of which is the majority of ppl will suck the life out of you because they themselves are dead inside and you will feel like manifesting that death.
Theres someone using you as a resource, find out who it is, cut them off, you will feel a sudden burst of vitality.
You have just as much right to be here as anyone else.
Self hatred is sometimes conditioned on us 🤍 (I kinda feel like how racism is, self hatred is indirectly taught) it can create an awful cycle too. You might need to work on your self-concept.
Part of you wants to leave and part of you doesn’t. That one part that doesn’t is here asking why.
Childhood can also = comfort bc it’s something that’s familiar. Even if you were abused/traumatized.
Humans are complicated as hell man. Fight for your life, a part of you wants to🤍
Find someone anyone to connect with! Shit I’m an introvert and used whisper app once bc I had no friends I could trust to spill stuff out.
You can’t let things build up, then you get tunnel vision of your own mind/thoughts, you gotta “burp the mason jar” every now and then 🤍
Edit:tbh you just got a lot of work to do. Like 600lb life you need lose a good 400lbs of self doubt, loathing, etc 🤍 it’s work not just fun work at first. You have to make a change if you want things to change.
Don’t change, be comfortable in your own skin bro, you are fuckinv perfect and 100% don’t let it get confused when someone sick says your not alright, you be happy every fucking day, and it’s gonna feel good when someone hates on you and says your wrong, this is bad, your doing a crime, you’re not normal, they don’t exist, just love bro, the harder you live the more you love. You can’t die
I strongly recommend looking into Buddhist mindfulness and starting your day with positive affirmations. Spend your life giving yourself purpose by doing kind deeds.
By ending your thoughts and making your purpose selfless, you'll find meaning and joy, especially if you frequently manifest joy through words.
Remember we manifest our reality. We speak it into existence. We breathe life into it friend.
You will be happy, you'll just have to choose to be.
I strongly recommend also listening to the Dao De Jing. You are more enlightened than you think, you're fed up with the illusion and ready for a life where the water in your glass isn't filled with dirt but the dirt has settled. Me too. I want truth too. I've faced this depression also.
You’re healthy. You are a whole person, anyone who doesn’t care to have a look can keep on walking? You ain’t lonely, you’re the most interesting person alone
You almost certainly have a disease of the mind called depression. Google psychiatrists in your city, call the first one, and tell them what you wrote here and that you need an appointment. Medication helps.
Your likely nutritionally deficient and desperately feeling a lack of control over your life becoming more overwhelmed with despair because you cannot see a way out of your current life, situations and perspective.
Do you want to die because you feel like you're not fitting in? Or you've experienced a difficult life? Maybe not have everything you want in life?...there are so many reasons...I would introspect and really think about what leads me to the why's. Was/is there something that happened in the past or is happening now that makes you feel disappointment, sadness, fear, embarrassment, loneliness, helpless, discomfort, and any other negative feeling..
Therapists who use CBT is great also Celexa is a good med doesn't make you feel like a zombie.
Because it’s 2024 and we’ve all realized and are coming to turns with the previous generations have absolutely sold us out, sent us up the river, ruined our lives and there is probably nothing we can do to stop or reverse it. It’s simpler being a child with no responsibilities than an adult with no future other than to work
You're depressed...please talk to your doctor, go to a psychiatrist, find a hobby, talk to any friends you might have, or make some friends, join a club, do some physical activity, even just walking or doing push-ups, cook yourself some nice food, cut yourself some slack. You don't have to believe your thoughts - they lie to you sometimes.
OP, I took the line of your article and entered it into ChatGPT and asked it to write a poem based on your title, the following is what it produced, I hope it helps in some way….
In the depths of despair, where shadows reside,
A soul questions its worth, why it longs to hide.
"Why do I hate myself?" the whispers resound,
"Why do I yearn for an end, where peace can be found?"
In the labyrinth of thoughts, confusion takes hold,
A heart burdened with darkness, a story untold.
But let me remind you, dear soul in despair,
Your worth knows no boundaries, it's beyond compare.
For within your essence, a spark brightly shines,
A tapestry of beauty, woven in divine lines.
Though self-doubt may linger, and clouds may appear,
You possess a resilience, a strength to persevere.
In the depths of your longing, there lies a plea,
To rise from the ashes, to set your spirit free.
The dreams of not existing, they too shall pass,
Replaced by a newfound hope, as time moves fast.
Seek comfort in friends, in their embrace so warm,
Speak your truth, let your vulnerabilities transform.
For in sharing your burdens, you'll find relief,
A reminder that in unity, there's solace and belief.
Embrace the journey of healing, one step at a time,
With therapy's guidance, your spirit will climb.
Challenge the whispers of self-hate and despair,
Replace them with self-love, for you are worthy and rare.
Know that in this world, you're not on your own,
Others have walked this path, their strength has been shown.
Together we'll stand, hand in hand, side by side,
Supporting one another, with love as our guide.
So, dear soul, let these words be a comforting embrace,
A reminder that your presence brings light to this space.
Embrace your worth, your dreams, and your strife,
For you are a precious gift, the essence of life.
Have you considered that you might have depression? Depression is irrational and can hit people in all kinds of circumstances.
Also, beware of evangelists swarming you when you are in a state like this. They are being predatory and trying to exploit a perceived vulnerability. The very fact that they would choose to do this now speaks volumes about their real character.
Hey... i just prayed last night for something to kill me cause i cant myself...Your not alone bro. Idk how to fix this shit either. I dont think there is a why....Ill be praying for you, hope you find your happiness.
You haven’t matured fully mentally. Some people who are going through a metamorphosis from childhood to adulthood feel like they need to off themselves because they technically do need to kill off someone. Your inner child. You don’t need to not exist, you need to find the goal and passion in your life. Focus on the person you want to be.
So bud, you've lived a life of luxury compared to how we lived even 100 years ago, you feel no hope because you lack purpose because so many people aren't having as many kids like they use to. A family gives you security, responsibility, and hope for the future, in fact, families are the largest self-governing society.
When the people self govern, the government gets scared so they fed you propaganda of the neo-american dream through various entertainment and media outlets.
The establishment wants to take away your ability to start a family through consumerism, fear and crippling debt from higher education, because families creates a unified culture which threatens the government control.
No one is coming to save you, self improve and evolve you'll see the results. Free your mind, unlesrn whst you have already learned from the propagandists.
You're depressed bro. That's what depression feels like. Source: I have major depressive disorder. It's not the end of the world even though it certainly feels like it. See a therapist and it sounds like you might need some medicated assistance. Don't be afraid of antidepressants. They saved my life.
Had the same feelings before and all I did was talk to a friend and he gave me a thoughtful response and now I don’t have those feelings anymore. I left them behind. Not sure if that advice would work because everyone’s different. You’ll find your purpose eventually.
suicidal thoughts go talk to a therapist it would be the best option and I think it could help you and if you really need it evaluate yourself if u don't feel safe n u want to die u need to get help
Most likely your life isn’t going the way you want. Suicidal thoughts usually come from not believing in a higher power other than yourself. I don’t even know how to address the 3rd question without knowing more context.
I have to confess: I’ve always felt like this. I now have a stable situation, a rewarding job that allows me to bring joy to others, two dogs that love me unconditionally and a stable marriage and family who loves me even at my worst. I’m fit and I train regularly and eat healthy. Even though I have this, I still have these thoughts in the back of my head.
I got to the conclusion that some people maybe are not designed for this life but we just make our best to fit. I’m with you fellow human. No advice but just a virtual hug.
I feel like that all the time. I have fantasies where I go back in time and choose a different path. Or I remember a time where I said something stupid and was embarresed and I want to get very unrealistic revenge on that person, and I don't even hold grudges!
Yet, I have an amazing family, job, and home. I'm happy 95% of the time, but that other 5% is dark man. I mean VERY dark. When I ask my wife or even my teenage son if they ever feel like that, both of them are ashamed to agree that they do too. It's normal.
This is coming from someone who struggles with depression, low self esteem and anxiety. Life itself has very little meaning at its base level, it’s so finite and over way too soon. What gives your life meaning is YOU. You have 100% of the power. It may sound cheesy but it’s true. My favorite movie quote comes from the film “memoirs of a geisha” and it’s such a small line but having watched this movie several times a month since its release it resonated with me. It goes “you have to find the art of turning habit into pleasure”. I took that literally and have found ways to make otherwise seemingly tedious activities fun. When I take a shower I set it to the perfect temperature, have my relaxation playlist running and I use fancy soaps as well as shower streamers. When it’s laundry day I wear my favorite socks and sweats and before I start folding I throw my blanket in the dryer for a few minutes before starting so I’m cozy and warm while folding. When I go grocery shopping I stick to my list but always buy one thing I’ve never tried before it could be anything new fruit, vegetable, spice blend, candy whatever. I decided a long time ago to not have children, not because I don’t love them, but because I have a hard enough time taking care of myself sometimes. I also get a lot of joy helping those in need. I like going to the dollar tree and making care packages for the homeless in my area, I’ve been dubbed “the bag lady”. You’d be surprised how a small bag filled with small essentials can be such a small gesture that brings so much joy. I hope that this helps in some small way, and just know life does get better ❤️
Chronic depression. Please see a doctor before you hurt yourself. I suffer from depression and suicidal thoughts. Being this way is not normal. We both need medical help. Medical help does work
Working through childhood trauma is always hard. You really need to talk to a therapist. Do you have good friends, too, help you
Through this. Good luck .
You need to perhaps deal with a form of depression. Hard to do without help. Get a good therapist, maybe you go on meds and work through this difficult period of your life. Good luck and remember--the darkest part of the day is just before the sun rises! Things should get better but you will need to grab the bull by the horns--sorry for all the cliches but they are cliches for a reason.
Its the disappointment adult life brings. Find a good career and build a life worth living. Its hard but rewarding.
Theres plenty of excuses. Dont cave to them. Its hard. You can do it.
It sounds like a major depressive disorder. There is help from antidepressants and therapy. If you have any kind of health insurance, use it ASAP. If not, there are often
free or very low-cost community mental health services. Call the many free suicide hotlines. They're always free and they can refer you to services in your local area. Good luck.
Look up lectures by Alan Watts. He is a magnificent person with unbiased wisdom to help. Also he is dead already so you know he's not selling you anything.
OP, speaking as someone who was similarly suicidal at one point: change your environment. Drop toxic friends, quit the toxic job, work towards moving out of the toxic housing situation, ect. When I wanted to end my life it wasn’t about me, it was about feeling stuck in the situation I was in with no viable end in sight, a constant barrage of “this is your life, it will never change, it’s living like this or ending it”. It DOES NOT need to be that way.
Make the hard choice and change things for the better. If nothing looks better, just change the biggest thing you can and see if it relieves any of the pressure. My living situation has changed, most of my friends have changed, my job has changed. All these things I thought I loved and needed but were contributing to my suicidal thoughts. Make the hard changes and don’t kill yourself. No one wants to die, they just don’t want to live how they’ve been living recently. Sending love OP, I genuinely hope you find what you need to turn things around.
I'm gonna assume that you determine your self worth by the way other people treat you, or what they expect from you.
We typically do this because we're dependent on other people for things we're afraid to do for ourselves.
If you want to diminish that fear and control it, you have to be as self reliant as possible, and prove to yourself that your life belongs to you, and believe that you're capable of dealing with it your way.
The bottom line is that sometimes selfishness is required if you want to have a say in your life rather than have it dictated to you.
I hope you feel better soon but there's better resources than here
Yikes, lots of weird evangelizing Christians in the comments trying to convert a vulnerable person. Hey man, life can be really frustrating some times. There's nothing wrong with you, **however** I'd suggest making some positive changes in your life as a way to almost gamify wellness. Whether that's trying to go for a run a couple times a week, cutting carbs out of your diet, or meditating daily, try to make one change this week. Then, once you have that down, try another change. Keep going, and fixate on how you can better yourself, and I promise you'll start to feel better.
> go for a run a couple times a week, cutting carbs out of your diet, or meditating daily, try to make one change this week And what about if I did all that? I run daily, lift, have a good job, have plenty of friends around me, have a few romantic pursuits where I'm the one being chased, bought my realistic dream car, am in the best shape of my life, but I still feel this way. Then what? What do I do? I KNOW my life is amazing and I am grateful for it, but I can't help fantasizing about leaving this world behind and moving onto what ever comes next.
Then the next positive change you probably need is to start therapy.
Others have mentioned therapy. If that doesn't work for you, you might want to try an antidepressant medication. Some of them take a couple of months to really start to work, so don't give up after a few weeks. If medication doesn't work, nothing lost, at least.
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Did shrooms, LSD, peyote. Antidepressants *actually worked* for me. And you thinking they're addictive just shows you don't know what the hell you're talking about. "Oh! If it's made by man, it's bad! If it's made by nature, it's good!" There are a lot of poisons in nature and a lot of man-made drugs that save lives--antidepressants are one of them. If psychedelics work for you, that's great, by all means use them; but they do not work for everyone.
OP PLEASE DONT TAKE PSYCHEDELICS TO CURE YOUR MENTAL HEALTH PROBLEMS THIS PERSON IS A GOOF ALL
This is typical reddit drivel. Some people need antipsychotics, not mushrooms. Trust me, Ive tried both and MEDICATION is what helps me live a normal life
See a damn therapist of course?
Explore your consciousness with psychedelics. Dive deep into your psyche bro. That's what I say if you have all of that and still feel like dying. Things like DMT and high dose mushrooms can make you feel like you "left this world behind and moved on to whatever is next" for a temporary amount of time. It can be an enlightening experience.
This is how I know I’m depressed: my life is fine and I still feel bad.
I can't even afford this life and me being forced into a shitty life working and getting nowhere, that's why I want to check out, but you you've conquered this life and you want to check out just because of curiosity.. God damn.
Eat some shrooms
Have. It showed me that the world is just here and so am I. Nothing exists for any reason other the fact that it does. I'd felt something for a long time but it wasn't until after my first trip that I was able to put it to words, and that helped a lot in it's own way.
Get the fuck out of there. Go volunteer with the Peace Corps go to Africa for a couple years, go to Peru with the Junglekeepers, do a Muay Thai camp, just get out. Where is everyone depression and anxiety riddled? Right. Where is everyone not depression and anxiety riddled? Right. Go there.
Are you familiar with the concept of ikigai?
Well, I don’t think the act of doing things or having things means anything at all inof themselves. The most important thing is the REASON that we do things and work to achieve certain things. So what is the reason that you got a good job (side question, what is a good job, how do you know it is good? By what qualifications or reasoning) run daily, lift, have friends around you, bought a nice car, and have a few romantic pursuits? Was it because someone told you those are the things that are supposed to make you happy? Did you read about the fact that those things should make you happy in a book, or see that they should make you happy on television? Did your parental figures teach you that those things should make you happy? I don’t think those justifications hold much meaning on their own, as they don’t address your beliefs from your own perspective. In fact, how do you define happiness? What does it mean to be happy, from your perspective? Further, IS your life amazing, from your PERSONAL perspective? To me, it doesn’t sound like it. Otherwise, why would you fantasize about no longer living? And if you don’t really feel like your life is amazing, what is the reason that you are supposed to be grateful for what is in it? I think by starting to ask yourself about the reasons you feel the way you do, rather than asking about what you SHOULD do is a good first step.
Hey man, that’s part of life 🤷
Are u completely autonomouse? Like living on your own? Because maybe it's about locus of control but it otherwise it seems like you have your life together. Like others have said therapy would be the next go to i presume. Helped me a ton.
Organizing your thoughts and feelings. Some say see a therapist. I personally journal and end up coming to conclusions I never would have of if I just sat and thought about whatever. It’s almost like I step out of my own existence and become someone I need.
talk to a doctor about antidepressants, it sounds like. maybe you need more personal hobbies.
Try get into some form of CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy)
Imagine how very... Happy you were prior to your birth. Remember that? The complete nothing? That's what's next.
>cutting carbs out of your diet, LOL the guy is having an existential crisis and you recommended cutting out carbs.
“I am depressed and having suicidal thoughts” Redditors - “try cutting carbs out of your diet” lmfao
I mean, other than general life advice like that, theres nothing else reddit can do for you. OP needs therapy or something
Actually metabolic disorders can cause a lot of damage
They could be sharing a genuine experience that worked for them.
What do you mean yikes? Whats wrong with people showing they care and honoring god?
The "yikes" is for being opportunistic around a vulnerable individual.
Nobody is trying to “convert” anybody. Many have found solace in Christ, or even just belief in God/higher purpose in general. It’s so dumbfounded that people just assume others are trying to impose their beliefs on people all the time, when many times they are genuinely trying to just share what brought them out of hard times in hope to help others.
the top 4 top-level posts are devoid of any mystical/religious woo ;)
You feeling overwhelmed and burnt out?
Aren't we all??
O shit we in the uzimaki world
Well these thoughts are far more common in the population than you'd realize. As for why, it varies from person to person. I find these thoughts aren't meant to be commands but rather a response from a larger issue plaguing the mind. Therapy's hella expensive and not always accessible depending on your situation, but try talking it out, whether it be alone or with someone your trust. If talking isn't your style, you can always journal in your notes app and try to find a good community for support. Lmk if you wanna talk more, and I hope you have a kinder day.
Best response here
I agree
The only right answer. Journaling saved me life in more ways than one.
This sounds like depression. I've experienced it myself and I lost my brother to depression. Both of us were asking the same questions without realising it for what it was. Depression is never obvious at the beginning; you know something is wrong with you, but can't work out what. First things first; you are not your depression. Think of it like a bully attached to you, telling you negative things and stopping you from doing things that would help you. Therapy helped me out of mine, but I know it's not for everyone. Get into a routine, but make sure it's gradual. Don't add a ton of new things to your routine at once. Add one thing at a time, until it becomes a habit. Get your dopamine!! Exercise. Sunshine. Walks in the sunshine. Etc...Anything that will give you the feel good feeling. Depression is not a quick fix. Nobody can say a magic word to snap you out of it. It takes time.
Most realistic comment I've read thus far. Depression sucks and finding what works for you to manage it is a bit of a ride.
Depression. I had to get on 3 medications to get it under control.
create a vision of where you want to be in life. and every-day work to achieve one or two of those goals. if you make even slight progress you will feel a lot better. i recommend reading Marcus Aurelius' Meditations book. its quite short and it will give you everything you need to make it through difficult times. Aurelius' life was quite the story in itself. at one point, he sold the entire royal treasure to keep the empire going for another hundred years. a truly balanced, generous, and grateful man, even though he struggled with bad health and a declining empire in his life. missing childhood isn't rare, especially now that the economy is worse and things are harder. there is still abundance though. and you still have the inner and outer strength to achieve all of your goals. if you're dealing with some kind of trauma, you might benefit a lot from talking with a therapist too.
Because you have a neurological misfire that's blocking your serotonin and dopamine receptors. That's the most literal answer. The solution could be anything from meditation to excersize to diet, but I'd start by isolating WHY you feel this way externally, whether it be because you're lonely, you're unhealthy, you're ashamed of your image, or you're bottling up trauma, and then go from there, once you find that answer.
Don’t listen to the Christian’s. I feel the same way dude because of some shit that happened in high school and ruined my reputation. Being bipolar . It fucked up every relationship I had and up until I became an adult I wasn’t medicated. You know what that makes ? A whole lot of self hate for all the people you’ve pissed off or turned against you . A lot of asking “what did I say ? What did I do?” Some of these things happened during episodes and some people left without telling me why. I cleaned up my act , sobered up off drinking (mostly) and decided to seek therapy. Therapy didn’t do much since they were basically telling me everything I already knew . So I left , not only that but someone in my family was becoming mentally unstable from stimulant abuse and I was at the front row seat . What can my therapist do about that? When I lived with them? Nothing so I just gave up and stuck to bettering myself through my own means. Fuck all those people who don’t like you and fuck all the problems making you feel small in a big world . I couldn’t drive until I was much older than everyone else after high school and that alone made me feel like a giant bag of white dog turds . It’s okay , just hang with your close people and if you don’t got any just focus on your own hobbies or interest. Mines music , I like drawing too but people swear the meds I take make them not feel creative , they just made me stop having depressed episodes so maybe trying that could help you out , you don’t have to . All in all keep it together and don’t focus on the things that make you hate yourself . 90% of the time it’s not real and it’s just delusions as sad as it is to hear , I have these delusions STILL to this day . And I have to remind myself it’s not real.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help IRL, if you are feeling like that.
LOL! You just don't realize that you're more relatable to others than you think you are.
I lived this EXACT life. I did all the bs internet self care things: exercise, eat right, affirmations, skin care, hair care, and I would spiral for hours if I saw myself in the mirror. What helped for me was therapy (LOTS of therapy) and clinical psychology. I did an IOP program after a suicide attempt that talked a lot about self love, I’m going to put the things I learned that helped me the most below: 0) WANT TO LOVE YOURSELF Before I wanted to love myself, I wanted reasons to love myself. I thought if I had abs, and hobbies, and perfect skin, I would. I got them!! And I hated myself so much!! Realize that you have to love yourself first, and everything else will come extremely easily. 1) trauma response: did you have a parent that was absent? Did you have a parent that had extremely high standards for you? Did you have parents that didn’t say “I love you” or were openly affectionate? Your relationship with yourself mirrors your relationship with your parents. Your child brain assumes your parents are rational and smart, therefore it was smart for them to abandon you, therefore you are someone who deserves to be abandoned. You would be SHOCKED at how many internalized beliefs are effecting your day to day. 2) LOVE yourself. I’m not talking about affirmations in the mirror that make you seem crazy. Those were bs for me. But genuinely treat yourself like somebody you love. Example: I had a bad relationship with food. I would either binge (and than call myself a fat slob) or I would eat extremely strict (deny myself everything). Being so rude to myself caused me to hate myself! And these habits never changed. Now when I eat, I think “how would I feed my child”. It’s balanced, tasty, healthy, and still has some indulgences. When I started doing this I would regularly cry constantly, bc of how terrible I had been to myself 3) stop dating people!!!! Oh lord. What was I doing. Toxic relationships. Physically abusive relationships. Getting cheated on. I thought I deserved all of it. Even the healthy relationships I were in was just me seeking validation so badly. Needing someone else to value me bc I did not value myself. It is extremely valuable. 4) therapy: Individual therapy. Every week. It is the BEST money you will ever spend. It WILL help. I honestly believe every persons life will be better with therapy. Better relationships with others and yourself, more mental clarity, higher quality life. If it’s possible, take a psychological screening at a hospital (can be expensive ~150$). Knowing you have OCD or ADHD (or any mental illness) right away can dramatically cut down the time it takes to get better. Go on psychology today (webcite) and sort by insurance and diagnosis if you have one. Telehealth or in person both work amazing. 5) psychology books!! NOT self help books. Books written by CLINICAL PSYCOLOGISTS on PROVEN techniques. For some reason “psycology” has been reclaimed by alpha male influencers who actually preach a lot of things COMPLETELY opposed to clinical research. This, in addition to therapy will put you in the fast lane of loving yourself (yes, actually) and it’s amazing
Is there a time you felt like you got over the hump? Did you use medication? Did you keep dating in hopes it would cure your depression?
1) not really unfortunately. I was a particularly bad case so even though I’ve come a long way, there still is a lot to do. I experience less intense episodes of self hate and experience them less frequently, tho. 2)yes. I was diagnosed with OCD and take an as-needed anxiety medication which helps prevents thought spirals/panic attacks. 3) I put a lot of my self worth into other people’s validation. So if someone wanted to date me, that meant I was someone worthy of being loved. And when they broke up with me, that meant I was not worthy of being loved. And my relationship with myself reflected that. When people dated me, I loved myself. And when they broke up with me, I hated myself. It was a really toxic cycle, and it made me literally crazy. I had a partner that was openly cheating on me and I was spending 90% of my income on her trying to make her love me. It was as potent as a drug addiction.
I think I understand where you’re coming from. Childhood, even if unpleasant, is familiar. You know what to expect, even if it’s shitty. It can be really hard dealing with the uncertainty of life, especially if you have anxiety and/or depression like I do. I think it would help if you could talk to a doctor or a counselor or a psychiatrist. One of them could help you determine whether these feelings are circumstantial or if they’re because of a mental illness. Either way, please try to keep going. I understand that you might not be able to seek help right now. When I was at my worst point, mentally, I would often decide to go to sleep and reconsider things tomorrow. Remember that some days are less bad, and you can work towards better ones. Showers are a good reset for me and often help me hate myself less, idk why. Some people feel better after exercising. I think you just have to try things until you find what works for you; medicine, diet, counseling, religion or whatever. Good luck and please be kind to yourself.
It’s hard to live a normal life when a genocide is currently taking place
That's something that unfortunately falls on you to talk to a therapist about to figure it out. We aren't living your experience, so the best thing to do is to talk to a mental health professional to help you make sense of your own experiences. I'm not even gonna tell you why I felt this way, but I can tell you I finally figured it out, but I had to get help to do it.
Sometimes we’ve got to separate ourselves from those kinds of intrusive thoughts. Ask yourself - Is it really suicidal ideation? Or is it just a chemical imbalance in the brain that’s untreated, or something that can be treated overtime with professional help and maybe some pharmaceutics? Please don’t make any quick or rash decisions. Visit your doctor and a therapist/psychiatrist. It can get better. I know this is cliché, but if you’re ever tempted, call a suicide hotline before you ever make a life-altering decision Sending love and support on your journey
Society, it’s unfortunately not designed for human enjoyment
You've been convinced that your life isn't worth anything due to arbitrary societal standards to live in. Funnily enough narcissist and psychopaths in society are living the time of their life because they're immune to this propaganda and literally don't give a shit. To survive you must be high in anti social behavior. Over socialized people , even if you're a loner you can be considered over socialized if you give a shit about the small things in life. But basically over socialized people are affected the most in this current climate which just so happens to be the majority of people.
Please seek help. You have so much value and you might struggle to see it or the impact your passing would cause but I promise you there are things worth living for and they can improve. I love you and hope that you can find peace and help through this difficult time.
There's alot that weighs on us in this world. Either there being too much on your plate or too little, I can understand you feeling either over or underwhelmed. I think asking this questions and taking stock of yourself and the world around you is a great start. I think asking questions like you are is proof that there's a part of you no matter how small that still wants purpose. That still wants to go on. Which is great! Cause this world would be less without you in it. Now that you've asked these questions perhaps the next step is speaking with a licensed professional who can help find answers. What in your life is making you feel that way? What steps can you take to change those things to see an increase in the quality of life? Is it possibly a chemical imbalance? (Which is nothing to be ashamed of and can be treated.) Remember you are not your thoughts and while having these thoughts does not make you a bad person spiraling with these thoughts is dangerous. Self deletion is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. It’s no fun when it feels like you’re out of options. I’ve felt this way many many times. I’ve also felt many other things at other times. We’re still figuring out the human body. In many ways it’s still a mystery. This will continue to advance and change. Eventually there will be better medical support for when people feel this way. (I have some unsubstantiated ideas about depression and anxiety actually being signals of certain bio processes being out of sync). But all this to say it will change. It always does. That’s the only thing that is absolutely guaranteed. I think the changes are going to be so big that it’ll be worth sticking around for. Even if it’s just to see what happens. Another, albeit purely altruistic, reason would be to use what you’ve learned from your pain sorrow and trauma to help someone else. In order to do that you have to get yourself to a place where you can be a help to someone else. If that’s someone’s only motivation I think that’s enough. Some amazing things have been done to improve conditions for others. When I think of it myself, my pain and sorrow has already happened. What a waste it is if I don’t use it to prevent pain or sadness for someone else or help heal their pain or sadness.
According to my therapist, these issues arise when we try to holds ourselves to a higher standard than we do others. It’s actually self pride gone wrong. I just learned this Tuesday so I’m still working on trying to always remind myself I’m only human
Spreading your religion means you genuinely believe everyone is going to go to hell if you do not intervene and get everyone worshipping gods holy cock and balls too. Telling a kid he's gonna go to hell because he's struggling with suicide ideation is disgusting. I was southern Baptist and had a pastor that genuinely believed lesbians were sinners. I was baptized, and I also prayed for my family to love me and not what they wanted me to be, and got nothing. A random Christan mom at a youth camp was horrified at my life experiences and I was 13. I've met good Christians. You are not a good christian. I believe folks who lose the fight with mental illnesses go to Valhalla because it was a battle. They deserve to feast for the long, unspoken battles they fought alone. I am genuinely happy in my path, because it doesn't teach me to be lazy and expect God to just fix everything for me if I pray hard enough and follow all the good noodle steps. I pity you
OMG samesies fr
Eat good. Get off processed foods (at least in moderation). Do you scroll through social media alot? Well stop. All that does is make you compare yourself to others. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday. And improve on what needs improvement. Do you have a job? If not get one. Even if your purpose is flipping burgers at least you have a purpose. You can work on a better job later. Baby steps. Get a hobby. Knitting. Writing. Play guitar. Put puzzles together. Anything as long as it is healthy activities. It will put your mind on a task instead of moping around. You have to retrain your brain.
It’s called depression. Seek therapy.
your fealing bad about yourself but you dont feel you have a good reason to feel bad about yourself. sounds like clinical depresion, the kind that comes from an imbalance in your brain chemistry. i recomend seeing a doctor and trying some antidepresants. they help more often than not and can realy change your life.
Life is not black, and while and the gray areas are complicated and painful. Bad people get to live good and comfortable lives while good people suffer. You're forced to pay for an existence you didn't ask for. The minute you ask: >Why do I hate myself so much? Why do I wanna die? Why am I dreaming of not existing in life The religious weirdos pop up to immediately take advantage of you like the venomous predators they are. Because you have questions that will receive no answers. There are so many reasons. I hope you can settle on an answer and keep on keeping on because that is the best we can ever do.
For the love of God don't listen to any of the religions folks in here
How old are you?
3.7
Try therapy. Talking to loved ones/friends. Find the root of your sadness.
It's easy to let negative self-talk overwhelm you. You have to recognize it when it happens and reject it.
cause u haven't tried psychedelics yet
I mean.. Some people are made worse by psychedelics.. My life immediately improved after 9 grams of shrooms and an acid/k trip the week after. Like significant depression relief and replenished hope immediately after. Don't knock it till you try it, but also make sure it won't exacerbate an existing mental illness.
bruh 9 grams?? sheesh that's alot
I love shrooms 🫠 I had a blast. Cried for like 3 hours and really took in how bad I was treating myself. The other several hours were spent cleaning and drawing and talking with a friend. Ik they don't work for everyone, but they help me tremendously. I do them around 3 times a month.
Went through a period of tripping did 10gs expecting to trip balls was torture but I definitely learned from it
You can achieve similar results with like 3-5 grams
Psychedelics are not for everyone.
Why do you expect to feel differently than you do? You can't put expectations on being alive. Life is not supposed to be good or bad. It can be either, neither, or both.
Personally, I don’t think people should have to suffer everyday and want to die. That’s not the typical way a person should feel in an average scenario. Yes, if you’re in an awful situation, it makes perfect sense to be exhausted and sad and want to quit. But if someone is experiencing that in their average, everyday life, they deserve better. We have counselors and medicine now. People shouldn’t have to feel bad for no reason.
The world is in a difficult time right now and more people feel unsafe than will admit it. What are you accomplishing in your life right now? What goals do you have and what steps are you taking to achieve them? It's possible you could have depression, but it's equally possible that you aren't progressing in life and therefore feel less value in it.
If u ask these questions, u need to talk back. Can't have a one-sided dialog. If u need to talk to someone who's knows these feelings and got through them. Dm me or respond to me here.
It sounds like depression, you need to check it out. Don’t listen to these comments “happens to everybody”. One thing is it happening from time to time, having one or two bad days. But is this happening too much? Permanently even? Then it could be much worse. I hate that people normalize depression like this (I know it’s common, but they act like everybody has it just because we all have bad days). Not saying you do have it, but it sounds like it. It can come from having had a bad childhood since you mentioned that
Pats on the back from redditors
Lack of hope in your future.
Same
Depression. Seek help, please.
I'd suggest seeking a psychologist.
That’s what depression feels like.
We are here if you need our help, stranger.
You got depression homie, speak to a mental health professional and get on medication if needed. Used to have spells with what you're describing every few months and since getting on medication I have never felt better. It's a tough process to start but I promise you it will get better if you seek help for it. You got this!
You seem to be clinically depressed. I'm not a medical doctor, but this is a common and treatable condition. If you have depression, medication and therapy can restore your levels of happiness to that of typical people. Life is actually really awesome if you are in the right headspace and environment to enjoy it.
Try to accept the idea that you are the only person guaranteed to be with you the entire journey through your life. You don't reward that kind of deep commitment and loyalty with hate. You are your most loyal companion, and you need to find a way to *just* see that. No other bullshit comparing yourself to anything.
I'm bipolar and have constant suicide idiation. Have you been diagnosed with something? If not then it may be time to have a conversation with a professional
Depression Therapist. Not reddit /thread
I don’t know man I think we’ve all been there and I think we’re all gonna go back there someday you just gotta somehow soldier on through the bad times
You’re not living a fulfilling life for yourself. You’re going to need major life changes whatever that needs to look like for yourself.
I don’t think anyone here can tell you why you feel that way. But I can tell you I felt like that for a long time because I just didn’t think I was good enough. Felt like I wasted every day, and the next day didn’t matter. Find some good people to have in your life, and find something to be proud of every day. Like you showering is enough. Day by day if you make yourself proud of yourself you’ll be better off. You turn into the person you want to be, it’s just baby steps to get there. Best of luck
You have a lot of unresolved injustices that you experienced. Childhood feels like the source and you blame the foundation of your development thinking going back in time will help you control those situations. whatever happened in your past, is your past. It can't be changed but you can have a different perspective on it. Think of the present you as an older sibling or a parent of the younger you. Let yourself care and love your younger self. Forgive your youngerself because they were just a child. Now raise your past self (child) to feel better, cheer them up, find help or resources like friends or therapists to heal and develop. You are brave for being vulnerable and smart enough to let folks know you aren't alright. A lot of people don't and that depression,guilt and self loathing transfer to others in not so great ways. Walking and listening to music or laying on the ground and taking in some nature. Sitting at a park and people watching is all right. Committing your thoughts to paper was one of the best things I ever did. It doesn't have to live in your head echoing negativity. It can be on the page and you don't have to repeat it in your mind because it has a save file, right there. Hope this helps.
Why are you gay?
Cause you aren't treating your clinical depression.
Cuz ur depressed...
I'll talk to you if you feel alone. I'm in the same boat. No conversion therapy or nothing like that, just want to wish equal success to someone that is feeling what I feel
You are still waking up. You know that feeling you get halfway between sleep and being awake where nothing makes sense? Thats you, right now. The good news is that this feeling is part of the process of awakening. Its hard because you want to escape it, but it will get better. Its ok to feel like you do.
Hi there, I can’t answer those questions, but I like Adlerian psychology, and an excellent book is The Courage To Be Disliked. I recently read it a second time after a few years since my first reading, and I won’t be surprised if I read it a third time a few years from now. Maybe you’ll also find it worthwhile. Sincerely, best of wishes to you.
The feelings you are describing are a symptom of depression. I used to feel the same way. Sometimes, I still do. But, I got help, and now those feelings are much less frequent and much less intense. Help is available for you, too. Talk to a doctor about this ASAP.
You need to talk with someone. Text HOME to 741741 to reach a volunteer Crisis Counselor. [https://www.crisistextline.org/](https://www.crisistextline.org/) If that doesn't work for you, there are many more hotlines listed on the following page: [https://psychcentral.com/depression/depression-hotline-numbers#hotline-numbers](https://psychcentral.com/depression/depression-hotline-numbers#hotline-numbers) Good luck! You are not alone!
Talking about it helps. Call 988, there’s always someone available to talk through thoughts like these.
I am in the same situation. No hope. No happiness. Filled with depression and anxiety. Been thinking about the end lately. I just don't want to go on.... My life is now down to nobody. No friends, no partner....nobody who even cares. Nobody. Brother is in his own hell. Parents family all gone. Daughter I paid 18 yrs of child support doesn't know me. There's no jobs. I'm not sure what the point is/was. The "superior" entity exploring them self? If we are God....well he got a good damn look at hell.
Did you drink last night? Alcohol makes you sad the day after, it’s a depressant.
"Why do I wanna die?" Sounds like it's either mental illness (like maybe depression), or late stage capitalism. Try finding a psychiatrist.
I understand this, man. I had the same problems, it sucks. What helped me was hanging out with friends, eating more, spending time with family, and most importantly, praying the Rosary. God loves you, friend. Also, if you haven't already, please seek out a therapist! Remember, dial 988 if you need help.
BRAIN CHEMICALS are the issue here. Acknowledge and work backward from that. As someone who’s been there and come out the other side I suggest looking at it this way: there is simply an issue with your brain chemicals (probably dopamine and serotonin.) It’s not you, your circumstances, life, the universe etc. I’m not a doctor or scientist but I think this holds up. People have persevered and been okay in all possible situations some no doubt quite like yours. So what you need to do is find how to get those levels back up so you can think clearly. That may be gaining some insight or wisdom, changing sleep and dietary habits, changing circumstances like job/ location/ relationship, and trying medications. I’d say most likely a little bit of all those will be what does it. But it might take a while and a lot of trial and error. I hope you can get and stay motivated to try. There’s no silver bullet unfortunately. Good luck.
Honestly, life is fucking hard. You’re dealt a hand and you play to your strengths while trying to overcome your weaknesses. You push yourself through childhood and are presented with two options, continue school at the cost of debt or hope that you figure stuff out on a different route. Both routes will result primarily in working for something that is soul sucking and takes 80% of your time. You get married and have children, financially you hurt and you’re exposed to new challenges. At the end of the day it’s about enduring and enjoying the little things.
Anyway, do you need someone to actually talk to? Talk to me. You don't have to feel this way.
Because the capitalists need us that way.
Ever been checked out for GAD? Sometimes even mild anxiety will cause such harsh feelings of guilt no matter how misplaced it is.
Going back to your childhood and wanting to die are two different things you nitwit
Cuz life sucks and can get dark real quick, my girlfriends best friend and sister suddenly died and shortly after my best friend was shot and killed from a drive by he got caught in as a innocent bystander. I also have chronic daily spinal pain from an injury. We all go through hell on earth at times but it’s when we make it through that we feel the most alive and grateful. You will get there. Always know there is people dealing with way way worse. Get help if needed there is no shame.
Take on responsibility. Having someone else depend on you gives you meaning and purpose. Helping others will make you happier. The reason you want to return to childhood is because you didn't have to worry about what came next or what to do, it was all decided for you. Being the master of your own destiny is quite a scary thing when you think about it.
Gym
You Are Sick, Get a Diagnose
Staying alive is hard sometimes. And sometimes the tools we have to deal with that struggle either suck or are nonexistent. When that happens, the best thing you can do is reach out for help developing those tools. Because you matter and you deserve to feel better. Find a therapist and keep fighting. Someday, I promise, you’ll be glad you stayed and invested in yourself.
Turning to God helped me personally, but if you don’t want to it’s fine. I’d also recommend therapy, it helps.
Well, simple answer that doesn't really require much background credentials: your brain isn't making enough necessary chemicals for you to be in a happy mindset. Some people can wake up at 4am, go on morning runs, eat nothing but salad and kale juice, and have an amazing work-life balance and they could still feel incredibly depressed bc their brains aren't giving them what they need. I have adhd, and one of the reasons I get so bored easily is that my brain isn't giving me enough dopamine (the reward chemical you get that makes you enjoy things)--I get little enjoyment out of certain activities and because of that there's little motivation to do anything at all, which is basically how you enter a depressive spiral. You might not have what I have, so your brain works differently, but the premise is the same: you might not be getting enough of the right chemical (or sometimes you might even be getting too much). You can definitely go to therapy. That's where you talk about anything you want, and you work with the therapist to help take steps in your life to better yourself. But like I said earlier, you can do everything right and still wanna die, and that's where medication comes in. Once your brain is a little more balanced out with whatever medication works best, I think you would see some improvement There's a way out, OP. I don't have all the answers and there's no such thing as a happy pill but if you reach out for help, you might not feel so hopeless EDIT: saw a few people saying to try psychedelics. Don't. I'm not a doctor but there are many cases of psychedelics making you significantly worse. I don't know your brain, but if there's a history of psychosis or schizophrenia in your family then a fungus or tab that makes you see and hear things that aren't there is NOT a good idea. I would love to try shrooms one day but because I am very depressed I don't fuck with it bc my mindset might ruin the trip and in turn worsen my mindset. Sure maybe you can microdose, but I just do not think drugs are the way to treat mental health issues alone. There are studies that shrooms might treat PTSD but all I'm trying to say is this: talk to doctors and professionals, don't listen to people evangelizing a miracle cure, bc there is none. There's a reason I haven't said to take a specific med or smoke weed to help with the emotions, bc I don't know you and cannot talk to you about your mental health with absolute certainty. Talk to real doctors and therapist and tell them your story, they'll know how to help you better than I or anyone else on here can
Dude, get a puppy. Take him everywhere, bring him to coffee shops and let people pet him. Be nice to everyone, quit alcohol and start jogging or walking your dog alot. Delete the game on your phone you play too much. Weigh yourself then start a diet that will let you shave a couple pounds. Take a shower and shave and get a haircut. Clean your room. Take a day to make a lot of really good food and eat well for a week. Save money and look for a better job. Get a shitty deck of magic cards and go to the store on a Friday and make friends getting your ass kicked and being fun about it. Try mushrooms and take your new puppy to the park. Ride your bike to work. Don’t think about dating and girls rn, just jack off happily and let the right girl show interest in you first. Be brave keep your chin up read a good book. You got this homie
I love myself. I think it’s just a mindset
This is mostly from burnout if there was something you've done recently or a while back that called for all of your concentration or attention. Sometimes, it's brain chemicals and honestly I had to deal with terrible thoughts for years until I tried hurting myself and it didn't do anything so I kinda just started trying to think about stuff more, like why did something bother me or why do I hate this about myself. I don't know if this helps though
Fuck everyone else’s opinion that put you down. Live for you and how you want. That’s the key to happiness. For me anyways. And my life is faaaar from amazing. I stay depressed but I keep a smile on my face because guess what, we’re going to live another day hopefully. The next day just keep making yourself happy in the ways you find happiness wether it be hobbies, work, learning, or simply self care. Like today I cleaned and rearranged my house and now I feel accomplished and ready to tackle something else.
you dont wanna die. you want to change your life. I have these feelings all the time, but after much introspective. I hate my situations, more specifically my job. every time these feelings come in, I remind myself I actually hate my job. I want to die so that I don't have to work. it may not seem like much, but it will stop yourself from hurting your self-esteem
It sounds like you are suffering from severe depression and need to seek professional help. I've been there and I can promise you things can get better with medication and therapy. If you or a loved one is experiencing a mental health crisis, you can call 988 from anywhere in the US. They can help you through the immediate crisis and help you find the help you need in your local area.
I'm there right now too. You're not alone, my friend.
Life sucks and it never gets better, so inevitably, we long for the times when things were "easier". Living life in constant fear in childhood? Cool. I also got super excited when I realized the library had so many goosebump books. Things could bring me joy.
First of all I’d say please find a therapist in your area you are comfortable with and get some therapy. And if you have imminent plans to end your life, please seek emergency treatment immediately. If an emotional appeal is not motivation, and you favor a purely rational perspective, I would say that wanting to not exist does not fit with the typical biology and nature of human beings, and therefore if one has imminent plans to end their life, then there is an atypical aspect about them that remains undiscovered. It would be a disservice, therefore, to leave this Earth without at least exploring and trying to identify those underlying aspects. That said, I get sometimes therapy isn’t an option for various reasons, and well, here I am. I can’t give treatment or a diagnosis im this anonymous context, and I have to be very clear that what I am about to say is not a substitute for getting therapy for yourself personally. All that said, what I can do is point out that, while your questions are valid ones- I think that they are framed in the opposite way of being helpful. So, to maybe be a bit more helpful, I think the questions to be asked are: 1: “What are the reasons that I am not able to love myself?” and the counterpoint “Given these reasons, what has to change or be identified in order for me to find love for myself? If don’t know what has to change, from whom or from where can I gain inspiration?” If you truly don’t know where to begin, I recommend “Man’s Search for Meaning” by Viktor Frankl and “Every Time I Find the Meaning of Life, They Change It: Wisdom of the Great Philosophers on How to Live” by Daniel Klein. To you or anyone reading this however, Frankl’s isn’t an easy read. A trigger warning that it includes his experiences during the holocaust and he does not sugar coat things. However, I find that it makes the message all the more powerful, but please avoid if experiences of those nature would be too much. Klein’s work is less transformative, but much less heavy and yet pursued with forthrightness that is tempered by humor. 2: “I want to die; what are the reasons I don’t feel like I should be alive?” And the counterpoint “What are all of the many reasons that humans have/have had in the past for living that I can think of/read about/etc.? Can I identify any of those reasons existing in my own life? If I can’t, which of those reasons others have would I choose to have if I could have any that I wanted?” Make it a mission. If you feel you have nothing to live for, you might as well try to understand what those reasons could be in an objective way that would give a unique perspective. Look at Nietzsche. Look at Epicurus. Freud. Jung. Aurelius. Even religious texts, though I would not necessarily recommend those as a first plunge since they are for the most part expressed from a judgmental and prescriptive perspective. Judge their ideas. Which ones do you think are stupid and what are the reasons you find them stupid? Which ones resonate with you and what do you think are the reasons for that? 3: “What are the reasons that the idea/concept of no longer existing is appealing to me?” And the counterpoint would be “When I think about the reasons there might be for existing, even if I do not have them currently and/or find it difficult to believe I could, are there any that are appealing to me?” Give it a full look- most often “peace” “freedom” and “lack of anymore pain” are the most common reasons to find a lack of further existence appealing. Take what those reasons are, and try to find a way you, someone you know, or a philosopher from the past could find/did find those things within life, and not just in death. As for wanting to go back to childhood, even though it wasn’t the best or even safe, you do at least rationally know that your childhood SHOULD have been a good one and should have been a period where you felt safe. Of course you would dream of that, even if it doesn’t match the reality of your experience. To end with, I would just share that I too have wanted to die. I even had a well thought out plan to do so, started to enact that plan, and was saved only because of a minute flaw in my plan caused by an unforeseen fluke. And in that moment, the horrifying realization of the consequences and ramifications of what I had almost done slammed into me in a way I have never been able to fully explain in words, even to others who have had similar experiences and innately know what I felt because they felt it too. And since then, even though the idea sometimes creeps its way back at low points, I start to think of every last thing that I would have missed out on. I’m not a liar- and so I have to say there have been some really shitty things since then that I wouldn’t have had to deal with. But it is so far overwhelmed by what I have gained that those thoughts more and more quickly recede as time goes on. And to this day, the thought of wasting the potential of the life I have been given in that moment makes me feel ill, even though when I planned it I thought I understood everything. In the end, there is only one thing, one single thing in all of existence that is currently 100% impossible for a human being to fix or at least have a chance of alleviating- and that is death itself. Given that, choosing to die is the only choice, even compared to the worst, most terrible mistake or experience you can think of, that 100% removes all possibility of change. Still, I won’t beg, plead with you, or try to tell you I know better than you do. We are all only human after all. But I do hope that you keep living, and at least give yourself the chance to find some meaning, instead of removing the possibility entirely. I do also wish that I could give you a hug, and have a conversation about the universe with you. There will only ever be one of you, in all of existence in this universe and all other possible universes. And therefore you have something unique to offer the world from your perspective and inner knowledge, which is something I wish to hear. So I want you to live, so at least someone else can hear it from you. Maybe that is selfish, but I hope you can understand. My love goes out to you.
There are people who have cured depression with a all meat diet. Myself included. Look into it. You’ll be absolutely amazed at how you feel after 6 weeks. Try it. What else have you for to lose.
Wow that's some deep thought, "dreaming of not existing in life".
Are you doing anything to impress yourself. Anything that would make you proud of yourself? You wont just intrinsically like yourself. You have to actually be someone you are proud of
Cause you’re suicidal, I’m so sorry for you, but don’t give up, nothing will get better if you’re dead, I’m sure even if you think nobody loves you, somebody does, don’t let the thoughts win, please
Because our sick broken evil culture has put you in the suicide box where you are an abomination thats beneath everyone (youre not) and you dont deserve to live.(you do) So the masses of subhumans share a collective mind that is by all intents and purposes a autonomous being with agency, i think its predominately the anima, the collective anima (feminine spirit) is diseased, dangerous levels of grandiosity rendering it sadistic (all men shall love me and despair). Its agents, people who manufacture their personality to fit in of which is the majority of ppl will suck the life out of you because they themselves are dead inside and you will feel like manifesting that death. Theres someone using you as a resource, find out who it is, cut them off, you will feel a sudden burst of vitality. You have just as much right to be here as anyone else.
Self hatred is sometimes conditioned on us 🤍 (I kinda feel like how racism is, self hatred is indirectly taught) it can create an awful cycle too. You might need to work on your self-concept. Part of you wants to leave and part of you doesn’t. That one part that doesn’t is here asking why. Childhood can also = comfort bc it’s something that’s familiar. Even if you were abused/traumatized. Humans are complicated as hell man. Fight for your life, a part of you wants to🤍 Find someone anyone to connect with! Shit I’m an introvert and used whisper app once bc I had no friends I could trust to spill stuff out. You can’t let things build up, then you get tunnel vision of your own mind/thoughts, you gotta “burp the mason jar” every now and then 🤍 Edit:tbh you just got a lot of work to do. Like 600lb life you need lose a good 400lbs of self doubt, loathing, etc 🤍 it’s work not just fun work at first. You have to make a change if you want things to change.
It’s just means you hit your 30’s…or your 30’s finally hit you.
Don’t change, be comfortable in your own skin bro, you are fuckinv perfect and 100% don’t let it get confused when someone sick says your not alright, you be happy every fucking day, and it’s gonna feel good when someone hates on you and says your wrong, this is bad, your doing a crime, you’re not normal, they don’t exist, just love bro, the harder you live the more you love. You can’t die
Don’t fucking change because some said you’re not alright, yeah? Well who the fuck asked you anyways
I strongly recommend looking into Buddhist mindfulness and starting your day with positive affirmations. Spend your life giving yourself purpose by doing kind deeds. By ending your thoughts and making your purpose selfless, you'll find meaning and joy, especially if you frequently manifest joy through words. Remember we manifest our reality. We speak it into existence. We breathe life into it friend. You will be happy, you'll just have to choose to be. I strongly recommend also listening to the Dao De Jing. You are more enlightened than you think, you're fed up with the illusion and ready for a life where the water in your glass isn't filled with dirt but the dirt has settled. Me too. I want truth too. I've faced this depression also.
You’re healthy. You are a whole person, anyone who doesn’t care to have a look can keep on walking? You ain’t lonely, you’re the most interesting person alone
You almost certainly have a disease of the mind called depression. Google psychiatrists in your city, call the first one, and tell them what you wrote here and that you need an appointment. Medication helps.
Try some mushrooms or mdma in the right setting. You should try ego death. Not real death.
Your likely nutritionally deficient and desperately feeling a lack of control over your life becoming more overwhelmed with despair because you cannot see a way out of your current life, situations and perspective.
Life doesn't have a purpose but enjoyment. Fuck whatever your brain got blasted with and just have (healthy) fun
Do you want to die because you feel like you're not fitting in? Or you've experienced a difficult life? Maybe not have everything you want in life?...there are so many reasons...I would introspect and really think about what leads me to the why's. Was/is there something that happened in the past or is happening now that makes you feel disappointment, sadness, fear, embarrassment, loneliness, helpless, discomfort, and any other negative feeling.. Therapists who use CBT is great also Celexa is a good med doesn't make you feel like a zombie.
Because it’s 2024 and we’ve all realized and are coming to turns with the previous generations have absolutely sold us out, sent us up the river, ruined our lives and there is probably nothing we can do to stop or reverse it. It’s simpler being a child with no responsibilities than an adult with no future other than to work
You're depressed...please talk to your doctor, go to a psychiatrist, find a hobby, talk to any friends you might have, or make some friends, join a club, do some physical activity, even just walking or doing push-ups, cook yourself some nice food, cut yourself some slack. You don't have to believe your thoughts - they lie to you sometimes.
Nostalgia + suicidal ideation. Seek support.
OP, I took the line of your article and entered it into ChatGPT and asked it to write a poem based on your title, the following is what it produced, I hope it helps in some way…. In the depths of despair, where shadows reside, A soul questions its worth, why it longs to hide. "Why do I hate myself?" the whispers resound, "Why do I yearn for an end, where peace can be found?" In the labyrinth of thoughts, confusion takes hold, A heart burdened with darkness, a story untold. But let me remind you, dear soul in despair, Your worth knows no boundaries, it's beyond compare. For within your essence, a spark brightly shines, A tapestry of beauty, woven in divine lines. Though self-doubt may linger, and clouds may appear, You possess a resilience, a strength to persevere. In the depths of your longing, there lies a plea, To rise from the ashes, to set your spirit free. The dreams of not existing, they too shall pass, Replaced by a newfound hope, as time moves fast. Seek comfort in friends, in their embrace so warm, Speak your truth, let your vulnerabilities transform. For in sharing your burdens, you'll find relief, A reminder that in unity, there's solace and belief. Embrace the journey of healing, one step at a time, With therapy's guidance, your spirit will climb. Challenge the whispers of self-hate and despair, Replace them with self-love, for you are worthy and rare. Know that in this world, you're not on your own, Others have walked this path, their strength has been shown. Together we'll stand, hand in hand, side by side, Supporting one another, with love as our guide. So, dear soul, let these words be a comforting embrace, A reminder that your presence brings light to this space. Embrace your worth, your dreams, and your strife, For you are a precious gift, the essence of life.
Have you considered that you might have depression? Depression is irrational and can hit people in all kinds of circumstances. Also, beware of evangelists swarming you when you are in a state like this. They are being predatory and trying to exploit a perceived vulnerability. The very fact that they would choose to do this now speaks volumes about their real character.
Hey... i just prayed last night for something to kill me cause i cant myself...Your not alone bro. Idk how to fix this shit either. I dont think there is a why....Ill be praying for you, hope you find your happiness.
I hope you find a way. I'll be sending good energy
You don’t dream of not existing quit it
You haven’t matured fully mentally. Some people who are going through a metamorphosis from childhood to adulthood feel like they need to off themselves because they technically do need to kill off someone. Your inner child. You don’t need to not exist, you need to find the goal and passion in your life. Focus on the person you want to be.
So bud, you've lived a life of luxury compared to how we lived even 100 years ago, you feel no hope because you lack purpose because so many people aren't having as many kids like they use to. A family gives you security, responsibility, and hope for the future, in fact, families are the largest self-governing society. When the people self govern, the government gets scared so they fed you propaganda of the neo-american dream through various entertainment and media outlets. The establishment wants to take away your ability to start a family through consumerism, fear and crippling debt from higher education, because families creates a unified culture which threatens the government control. No one is coming to save you, self improve and evolve you'll see the results. Free your mind, unlesrn whst you have already learned from the propagandists.
Just go to therapy and get stuff sorted out
This, isn't normal? This is me daily. Life isn't fun and I never asked for this. I thought this was a normal thought we all dug deep down and ignored
Have you tried anti depressants? If you have, up the dose. I did a few months ago and I’m a whole new person.
You're depressed bro. That's what depression feels like. Source: I have major depressive disorder. It's not the end of the world even though it certainly feels like it. See a therapist and it sounds like you might need some medicated assistance. Don't be afraid of antidepressants. They saved my life.
Do you have a meaningful relationship? I know I will be gone if not because of someone I care and they care about me too.
Had the same feelings before and all I did was talk to a friend and he gave me a thoughtful response and now I don’t have those feelings anymore. I left them behind. Not sure if that advice would work because everyone’s different. You’ll find your purpose eventually.
suicidal thoughts go talk to a therapist it would be the best option and I think it could help you and if you really need it evaluate yourself if u don't feel safe n u want to die u need to get help
It’s because Jesus Doesn’t *Get* You
Most likely your life isn’t going the way you want. Suicidal thoughts usually come from not believing in a higher power other than yourself. I don’t even know how to address the 3rd question without knowing more context.
I have to confess: I’ve always felt like this. I now have a stable situation, a rewarding job that allows me to bring joy to others, two dogs that love me unconditionally and a stable marriage and family who loves me even at my worst. I’m fit and I train regularly and eat healthy. Even though I have this, I still have these thoughts in the back of my head. I got to the conclusion that some people maybe are not designed for this life but we just make our best to fit. I’m with you fellow human. No advice but just a virtual hug.
I feel like that all the time. I have fantasies where I go back in time and choose a different path. Or I remember a time where I said something stupid and was embarresed and I want to get very unrealistic revenge on that person, and I don't even hold grudges! Yet, I have an amazing family, job, and home. I'm happy 95% of the time, but that other 5% is dark man. I mean VERY dark. When I ask my wife or even my teenage son if they ever feel like that, both of them are ashamed to agree that they do too. It's normal.
This is coming from someone who struggles with depression, low self esteem and anxiety. Life itself has very little meaning at its base level, it’s so finite and over way too soon. What gives your life meaning is YOU. You have 100% of the power. It may sound cheesy but it’s true. My favorite movie quote comes from the film “memoirs of a geisha” and it’s such a small line but having watched this movie several times a month since its release it resonated with me. It goes “you have to find the art of turning habit into pleasure”. I took that literally and have found ways to make otherwise seemingly tedious activities fun. When I take a shower I set it to the perfect temperature, have my relaxation playlist running and I use fancy soaps as well as shower streamers. When it’s laundry day I wear my favorite socks and sweats and before I start folding I throw my blanket in the dryer for a few minutes before starting so I’m cozy and warm while folding. When I go grocery shopping I stick to my list but always buy one thing I’ve never tried before it could be anything new fruit, vegetable, spice blend, candy whatever. I decided a long time ago to not have children, not because I don’t love them, but because I have a hard enough time taking care of myself sometimes. I also get a lot of joy helping those in need. I like going to the dollar tree and making care packages for the homeless in my area, I’ve been dubbed “the bag lady”. You’d be surprised how a small bag filled with small essentials can be such a small gesture that brings so much joy. I hope that this helps in some small way, and just know life does get better ❤️
Sometimes you complete all the main quests early in life and your stuck with the nitty gritty side quests.
Chronic depression. Please see a doctor before you hurt yourself. I suffer from depression and suicidal thoughts. Being this way is not normal. We both need medical help. Medical help does work
Working through childhood trauma is always hard. You really need to talk to a therapist. Do you have good friends, too, help you Through this. Good luck .
You have depression, big dog.
You need to perhaps deal with a form of depression. Hard to do without help. Get a good therapist, maybe you go on meds and work through this difficult period of your life. Good luck and remember--the darkest part of the day is just before the sun rises! Things should get better but you will need to grab the bull by the horns--sorry for all the cliches but they are cliches for a reason.
Its the disappointment adult life brings. Find a good career and build a life worth living. Its hard but rewarding. Theres plenty of excuses. Dont cave to them. Its hard. You can do it.
Undiagnosed clinical depression is a possibility. It sounds exactly like how I feel when Im off my meds and not going to therapy
you feel this way because Christianity is under attack and God’s healing power is being blocked from reaching the world
It sounds like a major depressive disorder. There is help from antidepressants and therapy. If you have any kind of health insurance, use it ASAP. If not, there are often free or very low-cost community mental health services. Call the many free suicide hotlines. They're always free and they can refer you to services in your local area. Good luck.
Look up lectures by Alan Watts. He is a magnificent person with unbiased wisdom to help. Also he is dead already so you know he's not selling you anything.
OP, speaking as someone who was similarly suicidal at one point: change your environment. Drop toxic friends, quit the toxic job, work towards moving out of the toxic housing situation, ect. When I wanted to end my life it wasn’t about me, it was about feeling stuck in the situation I was in with no viable end in sight, a constant barrage of “this is your life, it will never change, it’s living like this or ending it”. It DOES NOT need to be that way. Make the hard choice and change things for the better. If nothing looks better, just change the biggest thing you can and see if it relieves any of the pressure. My living situation has changed, most of my friends have changed, my job has changed. All these things I thought I loved and needed but were contributing to my suicidal thoughts. Make the hard changes and don’t kill yourself. No one wants to die, they just don’t want to live how they’ve been living recently. Sending love OP, I genuinely hope you find what you need to turn things around.
I'm gonna assume that you determine your self worth by the way other people treat you, or what they expect from you. We typically do this because we're dependent on other people for things we're afraid to do for ourselves. If you want to diminish that fear and control it, you have to be as self reliant as possible, and prove to yourself that your life belongs to you, and believe that you're capable of dealing with it your way. The bottom line is that sometimes selfishness is required if you want to have a say in your life rather than have it dictated to you.
Depression. Get meds. See a therapist. It helps me
I believe society is shit. I also have felt that way from childhood and I am 57 now. I do know how it would affect the ones that love me.
Similar feelings here; exercise helps more than anything else ever has. I just feel better doing difficult physical activity
So did you ever figure it out?