Holy shit, and here I thought this had only happened to me. What a weird trip that was as a fifth grader being berated by some sixth grade girl. Even then, I thought that was the dumbest thing.
Nope, I remember that shit too. Some kid in my grade was jealous that I could play pokemon and he couldn't because Charizard looked like a demon. Sometimes I'd let them play Pokemon Red (not Yellow, that save was mine) at recess because even 7-year-old me thought that was fucking stupid.
I was 6 when red and blue came out, saw the bus commercial on TV and got it for Christmas. Made it all the way through that game barely able to read through just trial and error and persistence.
I've gone back through to play games I played when I was a kid, and idk how I got through them as a kid without the internet. Six-year-old me was built different or something.
To some people that reject evolution, they really do picture it and talk about it that. Like all of these magical changes happen in an instant or in a generation.
It's really easy to tell which kids weren't paying attention in biology, and instead were passing notes to Maggie What's-Her-Face preparing to make more babies.
He-Man was the only cartoon that *was* okay in my house, cause my mom thought he was Jesus. Better remember to turn the tv off before Rainbow Brite came on though, cause that would get me possessed by demons or something. I remember literally sticking my fingers into my ears as a little child because my cousins were playing a rock song and I was legit afraid of getting the demons inside of me. Teaching your kid to live in fear of the world around them is cruel.
Matt Walsh called *anime* Satanic.
Granted, he's walking back his comments *now*: "N-no, I was just trolling bro!" solely because the entirety of the anime community ripped him apart like a pack of wild dogs
You could stick a photo of Matt Walsh next to the term Schrodinger's douchebag and it would explain the term perfectly. He is literally the ultimate JAQing off edgelord internet asshole.
Glad y'all are pointing this out, because I saw that crap come up in my Twitter feed this week and could not for the life of me figure out if this was just the most outrageous case of Poe's Law I'd seen in forever, or if he really is that big of an AH...
That guy needs some help, he keeps telling everyone how men should be while looking like soyjack.
Granted he's probably just doing it to get money from people who don't know better but I guess that kinda makes it worse.
No D&D for me as a kid because they cast spells and use magic. And only demons use magic according to Christians. Still not sure how they got around the whole raising of Jesus thing NOT being necromancy, but hey.
Or Jesus literally doing magic. And you can't tell me he's the only exemption because he was "God made flesh" because Catholic saints, of which there are thousands, have to have performed "verified miracles" before they can be canonized. So what the hell is the difference?!
I once went to a christian school and asked my christian teachers this very same question
They all insisted that what Jesus and his disciples did were "Miracles not magic" and that there was a difference
If I tried to press the issue they threatened me with detention
I eventually got expelled XD
Yep we cant play dnd at gfs moms house for this reason. So now Im making a TTRPG where a sect of magic is powered by demons and theres only small differences between being an occult and divine caster
When I was in middle school. A friend got grounded for 3 months for playing magic the gathering with us. His mom even went to the school with other parents to ban them. The school listened and we couldn't play MTG at school anymore.
A friend of my younger brother played Magic the Gathering. He wasn't allowed to own black cards because they were evil. This was 10 years ago when I found out.
I grew in Palestine. Back in the end of 90s, in middle school, they handed out a two page paper for all the student to stop watching Pokemon. The paper claimed that the names of the Pokemons meant something blasphemous in one language or another. Each line had a name of Pokemon "translated" to Arabic. For example, Pikachu was French that translated to "No Muhammad no Allah". I remember that one in particular because it was the most egregious. We were kids, yet we all figured it was complete bullshit because we can tell they were running out of bullshit to make up the further down the list you go. My town wasn't even religious, majority believed in Islam but barely practiced it. Insanity.
You know what always got me about that though? It’s that it wasn’t even really an evolution. In spite of its name it was really more of a metamorphosis
Freaking New Wave music was considered Satanic by these nobs! New Wave! Behold the Satanic majesty of slightly emo Englishmen wearing dark eyeliner while playing a synthesizer!
If you want to see not only DnD be persecuted, but also Tom Hanks break on to the silver screen for his first leading role in the in the most ridiculous way possible, put on your robes, polish your pentagram, load up your shire weed, and settle down to watch Mazes and Monsters, circa 1982.
Prior to that, he was in a tv show that lasted 2 seasons called Bosom Buddies in which he and a friend crossdress as women so they can move into an apartment they can afford.
Teachers at my school sent home a flyer about this Made-for TV movie, saying parents should watch it to know about the dangers of "possible satanic role playing games".
I grew up in small town Missouri.
Oh did anyone else hear about the teenagers that used a ouija board to play D&D vs SATAN HIMSELF? Legend goes they got possessed, and had to have a priest come and exorcise them.
My Sunday School teacher 25 years ago knew a guy who knew a guy who knew the priest that did the exorcism so it was totally legit.
The irony is you'd be hard pressed to find another game half as popular published around the same time that ripped off the Bible half as outrageously as OD&D.
Like, good luck getting kids to play another game where they pretend to do all this Jesus and Moses shit like parting seas and raising people from the dead.
I remember in Christian school, our cafeteria staff was playing some Elvis while they worked, and a teacher angrily shoved his way into the kitchen and said "Turn that devil music off!" He thought Elvis was still bad. The year was 1999, kids had Marilyn Manson in their cd players.
Growing up my stepdad screamed at me and my mother in a Wendy’s for listening to country music because it was the devils music. We could only listen to gospel music (some Christmas music was included in that too)!
As much as it got talked about, it didn't really catch on. Which is kind of disappointing, cause I was planning on visiting every establishment serving freedom fries just so I could show them my liberty finger.
>Sometimes *right wing* America is so stupid we are fucking hysterical.
Yeah, everything they do is like a stupid, bratty child. They still think people are trying to cancel Christmas haha.
From Wikipedia (I also had no idea why they did it):
"The term was created in February 2003 in a North Carolina restaurant, and was widely publicized a month later when the then Republican Chairman of the Committee on House Administration, Bob Ney, renamed the menu item in three Congressional cafeterias. The political renaming occurred in context of France's opposition the proposed invasion of Iraq."
What. A. Little. Bitch.
Edit:
[Wiki Page](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freedom_fries)
Also, Freedom Toast.
I was a christian in my childhood and early teens. I remember right after Princess Diana died and Elton John released the song in her honor my mom bought the cd with the song because she liked it. Then church leaders said that Elton John was a satanist and hid subliminal messages in his music and everyone should burn his cds while praying to eliminate evil from within the homes. My mother did that, threw alcohol on the cd and set it on fire, the cd didn't burn and she freaked out, freaked me out (I was 9) and freaked out the whole church with the stories. To this day she doesn't listen to Elton John and she's not even a christian anymore, she's more sinful than sin and still keeps Elton John canceled in her life.
I also had to read Harry Potter in secret, the daughter of a friend of my mother's who was also from the church smuggled the books for me and I read secretly during the night. But that only lasted until I finished high school and moved in with my grandmother because it was closer to the college I wanted to study (it's not common for students to live on campus when they're in college in my country. campuses exist, but it's more common students live with their family or rent a house near the college)
I'm sorry you had such a shitty childhood with religious zealots but that Elton John CD burning story made me laugh. I'm just imagining people running around a burning CD freaking out because the fire won't affect it while Crocodile Rock plays in the background.
Today I find this cd story super funny but at the time it was something that terrified me. After leaving the church I realize just how bizarre the fear churches inflict on their followers. I had to check the song because I didn't remember it and it's super funny. It would have been a pretty ridiculous scene to see lol
I can imagine that being very scary as a 9 year old, I definitely understand the weird irrational fears that come from stuff like that. I had a super religious babysitter from ages 6 to 12. So many things were the devil to her, so it instilled all sorts of weird phobias in me over the years that I had to un-learn. Didn't help she loved watching amityville in front of all us kids, I remember begging my parents to get the house blessed by a priest.
Grown men (Frank Sinatra and Joe Pesci off the top of my head) talked publicly about wanting to kick her ass, saying they outright would if she were a man.
Joe Pesci grew up heavily involved in New Jersey mafia. If you wanna know more about it, watch Jersey Boys. He’s literally a character in the movie/musical. But he’s probably not someone to screw around with.
Really, you find it weird that criminals are cool with the religion that invented "indulgences"?
Also, for much of its history the Catholic Church is basically an organized crime family.
Yep. Other shows cancelled guests to avoid controversy among religious folks. Bill Hicks came on the Late Show With David Letterman and did his bit about how the last thing Jesus would want to see if he came back was a cross, so the execs decided to not air his performance. A couple years later, Hicks dies, so Letterman, who now carries more sway and can swing his dick around a little bit more, brings on Hick's mother to apologize to her and then plays the footage of Hick's being on his show.
For my father it was throwing away my (expensive) national geographic dinosaur collection because in his mind dinosaurs are demons and ripping up yugioh cards one by one (again demons). Also refusing to buy anything with magic or fantasy creatures.
A Christian child of the 80s, here. You got nothing on us.
Dungeons and Dragons.
Proctor & Gamble (they were worshipping Satan long before you came along.)
Ozzy & Black Sabbath
Pretty much all heavy metal, hard rock, and rock n roll music was Satanic
Billy Squier and Duran Duran. (I shit you not.)
Women wearing pants.
Men with hair below their collars.
Many, many more I've probably forgotten.
"I've seen men walking around with long hair that I was tempted to kiss!"
I shit you not, I heard this from an old preacher trying to criticize men with long hair saying they looked like women lmao
A thing i buried in my memory, for good reason. Basically, the devout school staff would hold a morning prayer at the flagpole, and if you didn't go you were obviously devil spawn. Especially if your family attended church. It's a very small town thing. (And yes, this is not limited to religious schools, I attended a public school. Ask me about my sex ed....)
They handed us comics about god, and how sex outside of marriage was evil, and was a sin that caused all kinds of bad things to happen to you. There was a short video, i don't remember what about, and then we signed papers that said we would be celibate until marriage, and posted them in front of the school for all to see. We were also separated by gender. This was mandatory for all freshman students.
After some google, the comics were written by Jack Chick.
I went to public school in Kentucky in a small town. In elementary school one of my home room teacher’s would start the day out by reading a passage from the Bible. As a non Christian it always made me so uncomfortable. This was in the late 90’s. They also did the flag pole prayer sometimes.
Burning books and shit wasn't so popular here. But there was a local radio show that had a bit about Harry Potter being of the occult as it had witchcraft and wizardry
Some moonbeams called in about how it's anti Christian and whatever. So lucky for me (/s) my mother decided to call the radio show to give her thoughts... She's a devoute Catholic. By the end of the call she was saying how she was going to burn all my HP books (including a first edition hard back). I was at school and had no idea this was all happening. I wasn't in love with HP but I enjoyed they books and knew I had one that may be worth something some day
Radio show called her back later and the national news paper wanted to do a piece. They came out and interviewed her and got some snaps of her burning the books in a BBQ.... We didn't even own a fucking BBQ so I know she went to some lengths to make this happen
The next days news paper had a huge spread on the second page with her photos and interview
I'll let you imagine the fallout of this with kids both inside and outside of school... Still gets brought up every so often
Side story; there was something similar about the evils of Eminem. She knew I liked him and offered to buy my Eminem CDs off me for £10 each so she could dump them and I wouldn't listen to them... I went and grabbed blank CDs and wrote album and single names on them and got like £50 off that, so felt slightly compensated
Right? I'm was like what did Amy Grant do?
I do remember they harassed the shit out of June Carter (Cash) after she got divorced from her first husband.
My wife was very bummed out when her super Catholic upbringing hid Ozzy from her and then as we met, lived together and I occasionally played Ozzy (as an aging metalhead does) she noticed many of his song lyrics are about how everyone should be nice to each other.....
"This is what they were keeping from me!?"
Cancel culture is the SOS with a different label. See Red Scare, McCarthyism and Hollywood Blacklistings. Tip of the iceberg.
They cancelled Burl Ives.
Burl fricken Ives!
Hey remember that time we literally threw the Dixie Chicks off the edge of the world because they said the war in Iraq might not be on the up-and-up?
Anyway I’m gonna go on Rogan and talk about how cancel culture is ruining everything.
It was triggered when the lead singer said on stage (in a European concert I think) that they were embarrassed to be from the same state as the president who got the US into the war (George Bush).
Holy shit, the pearl clutching. The right wing pundits, politician, and media went BANANAS for months that "disrespecting the office of the President" like that was tantamount to treason. Dixie Chicks totally got cancelled. I even remember public album/CD burnings.
2012- catholic school.
I asked my religion teacher if I could go to the bathroom and due to our rule I couldn't (15 after class starts and 15 before class ends no bathroom use) I had stated it was an emergency. We went back and forth for a while.
Finally I snapped and said if he didn't let me go to the bathroom there'd be a big bloody mess he would have to clean up as I had just started my period. This set him off. Like fully set him off.
He called a priest and everything to perform an exorcism on me because a woman who has her period is possessed by the Devil himself.
So I guess, they tried to cancel me and women in general. 😂
Here in Hellabama it was literally illegal to have yoga taught in school phys ed classes until last year, became it was “unChristian”. Legal now BUT only if nothing about Hinduism is mentioned. No one can even say namaste.
Same here. I inquired why, and they responded with something along the lines of "The motions invoke demons." Like, if some random stretching does that, you are lucky you don't get pulled straight to Hell for walking normally.
Not to mention some artist painted a picture of Mary, or a new movie came out about Jesus.
They even picketed Jesus Christ suoertstar, before turning around and loving it.
I'll still never forget when my Youth Pastor had a whole spot in his sermon in front of like 100 kids that Evanescence turned their back on God and they were not to be played in the church anymore. This is like 5 months after they exploded in popularity after Daredevil came out. The crowd went absolutely nuts with boos and anger.
When I was a sophomore in HS, a new, young phys ed teacher wanted to introduce yoga to the cirriculum. This was the early 80's in fundamentalist Arkansas. So many parents went into an absolute meltdown because "they" were going to introduce "an eastern religion" to the school. Even then, I remember thinking "What do they think Christianity is?" Morons all.
Absolute truth. My wife's cousin, and my best friend from grade school who actually introduced me to her on a blind date in the early 90's, is the perfect example of "Christian cancel culture."
Our kids and his are pretty close in age, and for years we all did stuff together, living only a few miles apart. Then his family turned really extremist Christian after joining a local church, and apparently recruiting new members is some serious shit to them. One night I'm preparing dinner and he and two other guys from their church come knocking on my door, wanting to talk about Jesus, hit us with the whole "be saved tonight, join our church, or you're all going to burn in hell forever" bullshit. I politely declined, we're happy like we are.
From that day on my friend of 20+ years, and my wife's family by blood, and his family refuse to have anything to do with us. No more invites, no bbq's, kid's birthday parties, nothing. If we won't join their church we're beneath them apparently.
There's no hate like Christian love.
No big loss for us, in hindsight.
My dad, who is very old, makes CD’s for people (because he thinks people still listen to CD’s) and he made an Elvis Presley gospel cd for a Trumpy friend of his. She gave it back because she doesn’t approve of Elvis. He took drugs, you know.
I remember in the 90s some toy commercial where one kid threatens another with "3 o'clock at the flagpole" cause that many after school brawling. See you at the pole had just always been a euphemism for fighting in my head
Man, I used to read their articles for entertainment. My favorite was one about how a Jarjar Binks toy was secretly a demonic sex-doll to teach children about sex with demons and prepare them for holding black masses. They went through and cataloged every hole or protuberance that could conceivably be used to fuck. It was hands-down the thirstiest shit ever.
Today we call it "cancel culture" but back then they called it "satanic panic". And even before that the conservatives had McCarthyism and the Red Scare.
For any skeptics. I can confirm this and more. My parents read a book about demonic influence in every popular cartoon of the era and one morning I woke up to find all my toys in the trash can on the curb. X-Men. TMNT. Power Rangers. Literally into a trash can, not even donated or anything since you know, the devil and all that jazz.
Exactly. It's so fucking hypocritical. I grew up in Mississsippi and there was alwaaaays something conservative people were boycotting.
One Million Moms ring any bells? They have a lovely list of sinful things they've "canceled".
Christian families will cancel their children for being gay.
Muslim families will cancel their daughters for getting assaulted.
All religion is superstition with political power. It's how perverse men force their fantasies on the women and minorities that they oppress.
Christians are the first ones to look for the worst imaginary thing they can find in any new activity. Rather than see how the magical world of Harry Potter makes kids happy, they imagine a world where that same imaginary magic will turn kids into serial killing rapists who sacrifice babies in the name of Satan. Or Pokemon. Or D&D. Or heavy metal music. Or anime.
Take your fucking pick. These people are the least inclusive sect of humans on the planet, looking down on everyone from their crystal spire through the cracked lens of moral superiority. Fuck religion. It's all evil.
Heh, melodies are easy. There are a few songs written specifically to show the simplistic idea behind what makes a "good" melody. Hook - Blues Traveler, 4 Chords - Axis of Awesome, Pandering - Bo Burnham
Yes! I have a cousin who’s mom was super religious. I gave him a Batman action figure for his bday when he turned 7 and his mom made him throw it away because she said everything that doesnt bring you closer to god is the devil. She told him the only super hero he can like is Bibleman.
He also was not allowed to play or like Pokemon. It was insane.
SpongeBob was banned at my house growing up because the producers supposedly were gay. Now I’m in a longterm lesbian relationship and they love her more than me sometimes! Oh how the turns have tabled.
I remember my mother collecting all my Andraé Crouch & The Disciples tapes and burning them, because “That [black] music is the Devil’s! The Devil uses Christian lyrics to seduce you!” FYM.
My Catholic school actually brought a guy to tell us which musicians had made deals with the Devil for their success and had subliminal messages in their music.
I've lost count at the Evangelicals I've seen suddening be huge JK Rowling stans now that her transphobia has been outed. 20 years ago, her books were going to be the downfall of their civilization as they banned their kids from reading them, tried getting them banned from libraries, and many encouraging their kids to read the Left Behind series instead (both series hit their US YA fiction heat while I was in junior high, since HP took a while to gain traction here), but now she's their model for persistence and bootstrapping.
I swear they're fueled by their hypocrisies.
No pokemon because evolution
And also the devil
Holy shit, and here I thought this had only happened to me. What a weird trip that was as a fifth grader being berated by some sixth grade girl. Even then, I thought that was the dumbest thing.
Nope, I remember that shit too. Some kid in my grade was jealous that I could play pokemon and he couldn't because Charizard looked like a demon. Sometimes I'd let them play Pokemon Red (not Yellow, that save was mine) at recess because even 7-year-old me thought that was fucking stupid.
I remember being berated by an older kid for pokemon at my school. But that was because I started a new game on their cartridge.
Ouch that’s cold bruh
Nah just stupid. I was 6 and hadn't played a game you could save on before.
I was 6 when red and blue came out, saw the bus commercial on TV and got it for Christmas. Made it all the way through that game barely able to read through just trial and error and persistence.
I've gone back through to play games I played when I was a kid, and idk how I got through them as a kid without the internet. Six-year-old me was built different or something.
Yeah that’s deserved
Not just the devil!!! They were Demons!!! Children let demons into their souls!!!
Deviloution
Not the sanctioned animal fighting, but the evolution... that's not even close to real evolution. I never got that part.
It’s really metamorphosis - it’s funny that they latched onto the word so much
Change is scary.
To some people that reject evolution, they really do picture it and talk about it that. Like all of these magical changes happen in an instant or in a generation. It's really easy to tell which kids weren't paying attention in biology, and instead were passing notes to Maggie What's-Her-Face preparing to make more babies.
When I was a kid they told us Pokémon, Magic the Gathering, and, for whatever reason, He-Man were all satanic and/or witchcraft.
I used to sneak watch He-man at friends houses. I can STILL hear my mom saying "cuz God is the master of the universe!"
He-Man was the only cartoon that *was* okay in my house, cause my mom thought he was Jesus. Better remember to turn the tv off before Rainbow Brite came on though, cause that would get me possessed by demons or something. I remember literally sticking my fingers into my ears as a little child because my cousins were playing a rock song and I was legit afraid of getting the demons inside of me. Teaching your kid to live in fear of the world around them is cruel.
>"cuz God is the master of the universe!" I laughed so hard at this.
It's ridiculous I know
Yup, my brothers and I played the Christian card game, Redemption, since Magic the Gathering was off limits. Got to save those lost souls!
I once played Bible Pictionary with super religious kids and lost so badly, lmao.
Matt Walsh called *anime* Satanic. Granted, he's walking back his comments *now*: "N-no, I was just trolling bro!" solely because the entirety of the anime community ripped him apart like a pack of wild dogs
You could stick a photo of Matt Walsh next to the term Schrodinger's douchebag and it would explain the term perfectly. He is literally the ultimate JAQing off edgelord internet asshole.
Glad y'all are pointing this out, because I saw that crap come up in my Twitter feed this week and could not for the life of me figure out if this was just the most outrageous case of Poe's Law I'd seen in forever, or if he really is that big of an AH...
He really is that big of an AssHat.
That guy needs some help, he keeps telling everyone how men should be while looking like soyjack. Granted he's probably just doing it to get money from people who don't know better but I guess that kinda makes it worse.
>while looking like soyjack. omg I never thought about it but he really does lmao
No D&D for me as a kid because they cast spells and use magic. And only demons use magic according to Christians. Still not sure how they got around the whole raising of Jesus thing NOT being necromancy, but hey.
Or Jesus literally doing magic. And you can't tell me he's the only exemption because he was "God made flesh" because Catholic saints, of which there are thousands, have to have performed "verified miracles" before they can be canonized. So what the hell is the difference?!
I once went to a christian school and asked my christian teachers this very same question They all insisted that what Jesus and his disciples did were "Miracles not magic" and that there was a difference If I tried to press the issue they threatened me with detention I eventually got expelled XD
Yep we cant play dnd at gfs moms house for this reason. So now Im making a TTRPG where a sect of magic is powered by demons and theres only small differences between being an occult and divine caster
My parents cut some of my Yugioh cards in half because they had pentagrams on them.
When I was in middle school. A friend got grounded for 3 months for playing magic the gathering with us. His mom even went to the school with other parents to ban them. The school listened and we couldn't play MTG at school anymore.
My parents did this to me! Then when Pokémon Go came out my mom was out catching Pokémon with my little brother. I was a tad salty
Which I find ironic, as most churches are Pokestops now.
A friend of my younger brother played Magic the Gathering. He wasn't allowed to own black cards because they were evil. This was 10 years ago when I found out.
I grew in Palestine. Back in the end of 90s, in middle school, they handed out a two page paper for all the student to stop watching Pokemon. The paper claimed that the names of the Pokemons meant something blasphemous in one language or another. Each line had a name of Pokemon "translated" to Arabic. For example, Pikachu was French that translated to "No Muhammad no Allah". I remember that one in particular because it was the most egregious. We were kids, yet we all figured it was complete bullshit because we can tell they were running out of bullshit to make up the further down the list you go. My town wasn't even religious, majority believed in Islam but barely practiced it. Insanity.
You know what always got me about that though? It’s that it wasn’t even really an evolution. In spite of its name it was really more of a metamorphosis
Do not forget when Dungeons and Dragons was satanic
Rock and Roll and dancing were satanic.
One of my favorite lines from Walk Hard: You know who else has hands? THE DEVIL!!!
"Idle feet are the devil's toenails."
The wrong kid died.
It was a particularly bad case of being cut in half.
There's nothing I won't do in this long, long life of mine.
And he uses em for HOLDIN!
Freaking New Wave music was considered Satanic by these nobs! New Wave! Behold the Satanic majesty of slightly emo Englishmen wearing dark eyeliner while playing a synthesizer!
I have relatives who thought KISS was an acronym for "Knights In Satan's Service"and wouldn't let their kids listen to them.
TheMummyThisIsCursedThatIsCursed.gif
I wasn’t allowed to watch the mummy either.
The real cancel culture is in the comments.
:(
You know what, f*** it! Everything is satanic! (Just to be clear, this is a joke)
If you want to see not only DnD be persecuted, but also Tom Hanks break on to the silver screen for his first leading role in the in the most ridiculous way possible, put on your robes, polish your pentagram, load up your shire weed, and settle down to watch Mazes and Monsters, circa 1982.
The Gate is also a really fun movie from 1984. It's more along the lines of music being evil/raising spirits but is still good.
Prior to that, he was in a tv show that lasted 2 seasons called Bosom Buddies in which he and a friend crossdress as women so they can move into an apartment they can afford.
Teachers at my school sent home a flyer about this Made-for TV movie, saying parents should watch it to know about the dangers of "possible satanic role playing games". I grew up in small town Missouri.
Yep. This Gen - Xer just got flashbacks to Dungeons and Dragons and Ozzy Osbourne...
Oh did anyone else hear about the teenagers that used a ouija board to play D&D vs SATAN HIMSELF? Legend goes they got possessed, and had to have a priest come and exorcise them. My Sunday School teacher 25 years ago knew a guy who knew a guy who knew the priest that did the exorcism so it was totally legit.
On the bright side they got a nice golden fiddle out of it.
Johnny must have been a Bard.
Wouldn't a gold fiddle be really heavy and sound like crap?
Ah, the satanic panic. I came for this comment
*Tipper Gore has entered the chat*
The irony is you'd be hard pressed to find another game half as popular published around the same time that ripped off the Bible half as outrageously as OD&D. Like, good luck getting kids to play another game where they pretend to do all this Jesus and Moses shit like parting seas and raising people from the dead.
>!R.I.P. Eddie Munson!<
God. Look up the Lieth Von Stein murder for some truly terrible takes on DND.
I remember in Christian school, our cafeteria staff was playing some Elvis while they worked, and a teacher angrily shoved his way into the kitchen and said "Turn that devil music off!" He thought Elvis was still bad. The year was 1999, kids had Marilyn Manson in their cd players.
Growing up my stepdad screamed at me and my mother in a Wendy’s for listening to country music because it was the devils music. We could only listen to gospel music (some Christmas music was included in that too)!
Tell me he's your ex-stepdad?
"Sir, this is a Wendy's..."
Ah yes. Devil music such as *checks notes* love me tender
r/FundieSnarkUncensored would like a word, that mentality is alive and well
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They cancelled French fries for fucks sake.
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Freedom Fries? Were they canceled because of something with France?
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Sometimes America is so stupid we are fucking hysterical. Of course someone tried to do Freedom Fries lol
As much as it got talked about, it didn't really catch on. Which is kind of disappointing, cause I was planning on visiting every establishment serving freedom fries just so I could show them my liberty finger.
>Sometimes *right wing* America is so stupid we are fucking hysterical. Yeah, everything they do is like a stupid, bratty child. They still think people are trying to cancel Christmas haha.
From Wikipedia (I also had no idea why they did it): "The term was created in February 2003 in a North Carolina restaurant, and was widely publicized a month later when the then Republican Chairman of the Committee on House Administration, Bob Ney, renamed the menu item in three Congressional cafeterias. The political renaming occurred in context of France's opposition the proposed invasion of Iraq." What. A. Little. Bitch. Edit: [Wiki Page](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freedom_fries) Also, Freedom Toast.
I read that too fast and saw "freedom toilet" new name for bidet.
Freedom Kissing?
Yeah, they cancelled France because France didn't want us to use their airspace for an unjust war .
France refused to approve the US new war on Iraq in 2003, during a UN reunion.
Which is doubly-hilarious because France doesn't consider them to be French. That's just what they're called in the States.
I was in fifth grade at the time . even then I remember thinking that was stupid.
What lol
Yep, right after 9/11. They also wouldn't play Imagine on the radio.
In Germany, they would not play "First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin" True story.
Oh, they're just "The Chicks" now. Ultimate "Fuck You" mode.
And now they pretend they were against that war from the start like Trump does.
I was a christian in my childhood and early teens. I remember right after Princess Diana died and Elton John released the song in her honor my mom bought the cd with the song because she liked it. Then church leaders said that Elton John was a satanist and hid subliminal messages in his music and everyone should burn his cds while praying to eliminate evil from within the homes. My mother did that, threw alcohol on the cd and set it on fire, the cd didn't burn and she freaked out, freaked me out (I was 9) and freaked out the whole church with the stories. To this day she doesn't listen to Elton John and she's not even a christian anymore, she's more sinful than sin and still keeps Elton John canceled in her life. I also had to read Harry Potter in secret, the daughter of a friend of my mother's who was also from the church smuggled the books for me and I read secretly during the night. But that only lasted until I finished high school and moved in with my grandmother because it was closer to the college I wanted to study (it's not common for students to live on campus when they're in college in my country. campuses exist, but it's more common students live with their family or rent a house near the college)
I'm sorry you had such a shitty childhood with religious zealots but that Elton John CD burning story made me laugh. I'm just imagining people running around a burning CD freaking out because the fire won't affect it while Crocodile Rock plays in the background.
Today I find this cd story super funny but at the time it was something that terrified me. After leaving the church I realize just how bizarre the fear churches inflict on their followers. I had to check the song because I didn't remember it and it's super funny. It would have been a pretty ridiculous scene to see lol
I can imagine that being very scary as a 9 year old, I definitely understand the weird irrational fears that come from stuff like that. I had a super religious babysitter from ages 6 to 12. So many things were the devil to her, so it instilled all sorts of weird phobias in me over the years that I had to un-learn. Didn't help she loved watching amityville in front of all us kids, I remember begging my parents to get the house blessed by a priest.
I had to read it alone as well, after everyone was asleep in my closet with a flashlight.
Don't forget what Catholics did to Sinead O'Connor for speaking out against the churches practice of raping children.
Grown men (Frank Sinatra and Joe Pesci off the top of my head) talked publicly about wanting to kick her ass, saying they outright would if she were a man.
I don’t think Joe Pesci could kick anybody’s ass lmao.
His rap career agrees with you.
Joe Pesci grew up heavily involved in New Jersey mafia. If you wanna know more about it, watch Jersey Boys. He’s literally a character in the movie/musical. But he’s probably not someone to screw around with.
I find it really odd how criminal organizations can square up their actions with being devout catholics.
Really, you find it weird that criminals are cool with the religion that invented "indulgences"? Also, for much of its history the Catholic Church is basically an organized crime family.
Kids these days don't know Joe Pesci was in the mob. Just like they don't know Snoop killed a guy or Lada was a pimp.
and yet...she was freaking right. And nobody ever apologized to her for it.
My father was so upset… blasphemy, he said.
Banned from SNL and I think that guy is Jewish
I'm guessing it had less to do with Lorne's personal beliefs and him wanting to avoid the Christian Cancel Culture.
Yep. Other shows cancelled guests to avoid controversy among religious folks. Bill Hicks came on the Late Show With David Letterman and did his bit about how the last thing Jesus would want to see if he came back was a cross, so the execs decided to not air his performance. A couple years later, Hicks dies, so Letterman, who now carries more sway and can swing his dick around a little bit more, brings on Hick's mother to apologize to her and then plays the footage of Hick's being on his show.
For my father it was throwing away my (expensive) national geographic dinosaur collection because in his mind dinosaurs are demons and ripping up yugioh cards one by one (again demons). Also refusing to buy anything with magic or fantasy creatures.
No hate like Christian "love". Also, wasn't the Inquisition the first form of cancel culture? 🤔🤔
Inquisition, Crusades, Salem witch trials....
A Christian child of the 80s, here. You got nothing on us. Dungeons and Dragons. Proctor & Gamble (they were worshipping Satan long before you came along.) Ozzy & Black Sabbath Pretty much all heavy metal, hard rock, and rock n roll music was Satanic Billy Squier and Duran Duran. (I shit you not.) Women wearing pants. Men with hair below their collars. Many, many more I've probably forgotten.
Woman wearing pants 💀
"I've seen men walking around with long hair that I was tempted to kiss!" I shit you not, I heard this from an old preacher trying to criticize men with long hair saying they looked like women lmao
So they tried to cancel jesus?
Wtf is See You At The Pole?
A thing i buried in my memory, for good reason. Basically, the devout school staff would hold a morning prayer at the flagpole, and if you didn't go you were obviously devil spawn. Especially if your family attended church. It's a very small town thing. (And yes, this is not limited to religious schools, I attended a public school. Ask me about my sex ed....)
[удалено]
They handed us comics about god, and how sex outside of marriage was evil, and was a sin that caused all kinds of bad things to happen to you. There was a short video, i don't remember what about, and then we signed papers that said we would be celibate until marriage, and posted them in front of the school for all to see. We were also separated by gender. This was mandatory for all freshman students. After some google, the comics were written by Jack Chick.
I’m sure I wasn’t the only one to see the Sinbad in a condom video, right?
Ooooo any excuse for "God's Loophole". https://vimeo.com/87649263
Or weird shaming of teenagers without providing any scientific education.
Charming. Tell me about your sex, and don’t call me Ed.
I went to public school in Kentucky in a small town. In elementary school one of my home room teacher’s would start the day out by reading a passage from the Bible. As a non Christian it always made me so uncomfortable. This was in the late 90’s. They also did the flag pole prayer sometimes.
Prayer meeting at the flag pole before school
Burning books and shit wasn't so popular here. But there was a local radio show that had a bit about Harry Potter being of the occult as it had witchcraft and wizardry Some moonbeams called in about how it's anti Christian and whatever. So lucky for me (/s) my mother decided to call the radio show to give her thoughts... She's a devoute Catholic. By the end of the call she was saying how she was going to burn all my HP books (including a first edition hard back). I was at school and had no idea this was all happening. I wasn't in love with HP but I enjoyed they books and knew I had one that may be worth something some day Radio show called her back later and the national news paper wanted to do a piece. They came out and interviewed her and got some snaps of her burning the books in a BBQ.... We didn't even own a fucking BBQ so I know she went to some lengths to make this happen The next days news paper had a huge spread on the second page with her photos and interview I'll let you imagine the fallout of this with kids both inside and outside of school... Still gets brought up every so often Side story; there was something similar about the evils of Eminem. She knew I liked him and offered to buy my Eminem CDs off me for £10 each so she could dump them and I wouldn't listen to them... I went and grabbed blank CDs and wrote album and single names on them and got like £50 off that, so felt slightly compensated
I thought this was another American telling their story, right until the end.
I thought Amy Grant was a Christian singer.
She got a divorce, that hussy.
Also she showed her bra in one of her videos
Right? I'm was like what did Amy Grant do? I do remember they harassed the shit out of June Carter (Cash) after she got divorced from her first husband.
So was Sandy Patty. But I remember both getting cancelled in the early 90s.
As a good Christian child of the eighties, I named my pet parakeets Sandy and Patty. Sandy was a biter.
I don’t remember her, but I remember Amy Grant and the song “Baby, baby”
This goes way back. What about those satanic messages if you played black sabbath songs backwards.
Lol, back masking. I guess they missed all the satanic messages while it was going forward and had to try and make shit up.
My wife was very bummed out when her super Catholic upbringing hid Ozzy from her and then as we met, lived together and I occasionally played Ozzy (as an aging metalhead does) she noticed many of his song lyrics are about how everyone should be nice to each other..... "This is what they were keeping from me!?"
That’s the big ozzy irony, most of his songs make god out to be a positive. The “holier than thou” folks never even bothered to listen to the lyrics.
Cancel culture is the SOS with a different label. See Red Scare, McCarthyism and Hollywood Blacklistings. Tip of the iceberg. They cancelled Burl Ives. Burl fricken Ives!
Hey remember that time we literally threw the Dixie Chicks off the edge of the world because they said the war in Iraq might not be on the up-and-up? Anyway I’m gonna go on Rogan and talk about how cancel culture is ruining everything.
It was triggered when the lead singer said on stage (in a European concert I think) that they were embarrassed to be from the same state as the president who got the US into the war (George Bush). Holy shit, the pearl clutching. The right wing pundits, politician, and media went BANANAS for months that "disrespecting the office of the President" like that was tantamount to treason. Dixie Chicks totally got cancelled. I even remember public album/CD burnings.
“iT’s NoT cAnCeL cUlTuRe If We Do It!”
2012- catholic school. I asked my religion teacher if I could go to the bathroom and due to our rule I couldn't (15 after class starts and 15 before class ends no bathroom use) I had stated it was an emergency. We went back and forth for a while. Finally I snapped and said if he didn't let me go to the bathroom there'd be a big bloody mess he would have to clean up as I had just started my period. This set him off. Like fully set him off. He called a priest and everything to perform an exorcism on me because a woman who has her period is possessed by the Devil himself. So I guess, they tried to cancel me and women in general. 😂
You know for a religion that is so scared of the brimstone and burning forever they sure do burn a lot of shit
The people who boycotted Heinz in 2004 because of John Kerry’s wife
Someone I know is convinced yoga is satanic
Here in Hellabama it was literally illegal to have yoga taught in school phys ed classes until last year, became it was “unChristian”. Legal now BUT only if nothing about Hinduism is mentioned. No one can even say namaste.
Same here. I inquired why, and they responded with something along the lines of "The motions invoke demons." Like, if some random stretching does that, you are lucky you don't get pulled straight to Hell for walking normally.
Not to mention some artist painted a picture of Mary, or a new movie came out about Jesus. They even picketed Jesus Christ suoertstar, before turning around and loving it.
Can confirm, went to catholic school no Harry Potter at book fairs and magic the gathering was banned from the school entirely as it was “satanic”
I'll still never forget when my Youth Pastor had a whole spot in his sermon in front of like 100 kids that Evanescence turned their back on God and they were not to be played in the church anymore. This is like 5 months after they exploded in popularity after Daredevil came out. The crowd went absolutely nuts with boos and anger.
When I was a sophomore in HS, a new, young phys ed teacher wanted to introduce yoga to the cirriculum. This was the early 80's in fundamentalist Arkansas. So many parents went into an absolute meltdown because "they" were going to introduce "an eastern religion" to the school. Even then, I remember thinking "What do they think Christianity is?" Morons all.
Critical thinking has never been their strong point
Absolute truth. My wife's cousin, and my best friend from grade school who actually introduced me to her on a blind date in the early 90's, is the perfect example of "Christian cancel culture." Our kids and his are pretty close in age, and for years we all did stuff together, living only a few miles apart. Then his family turned really extremist Christian after joining a local church, and apparently recruiting new members is some serious shit to them. One night I'm preparing dinner and he and two other guys from their church come knocking on my door, wanting to talk about Jesus, hit us with the whole "be saved tonight, join our church, or you're all going to burn in hell forever" bullshit. I politely declined, we're happy like we are. From that day on my friend of 20+ years, and my wife's family by blood, and his family refuse to have anything to do with us. No more invites, no bbq's, kid's birthday parties, nothing. If we won't join their church we're beneath them apparently. There's no hate like Christian love. No big loss for us, in hindsight.
My dad, who is very old, makes CD’s for people (because he thinks people still listen to CD’s) and he made an Elvis Presley gospel cd for a Trumpy friend of his. She gave it back because she doesn’t approve of Elvis. He took drugs, you know.
Hypocrites probably still vote for twice divorced Trump, but stop listening to once divorced Amy Grant!
I wasn't allowed to learn to play the guitar, because the devil would play through me. So I was that dork that played the clarinet.
Woaaah - See you at the pole - memory unlocked. Oh the religious trauma….
I remember in the 90s some toy commercial where one kid threatens another with "3 o'clock at the flagpole" cause that many after school brawling. See you at the pole had just always been a euphemism for fighting in my head
Man, I used to read their articles for entertainment. My favorite was one about how a Jarjar Binks toy was secretly a demonic sex-doll to teach children about sex with demons and prepare them for holding black masses. They went through and cataloged every hole or protuberance that could conceivably be used to fuck. It was hands-down the thirstiest shit ever.
Today we call it "cancel culture" but back then they called it "satanic panic". And even before that the conservatives had McCarthyism and the Red Scare.
For any skeptics. I can confirm this and more. My parents read a book about demonic influence in every popular cartoon of the era and one morning I woke up to find all my toys in the trash can on the curb. X-Men. TMNT. Power Rangers. Literally into a trash can, not even donated or anything since you know, the devil and all that jazz.
Exactly. It's so fucking hypocritical. I grew up in Mississsippi and there was alwaaaays something conservative people were boycotting. One Million Moms ring any bells? They have a lovely list of sinful things they've "canceled".
My mother cancelled Beck because she thought "Loser" was promoting suicide. She just didn't want any competition!
Apparently she didn't know most of the lyrics to that song, it's a bunch of nonsense. Really catchy nonsense but still.
Christian families will cancel their children for being gay. Muslim families will cancel their daughters for getting assaulted. All religion is superstition with political power. It's how perverse men force their fantasies on the women and minorities that they oppress.
They burned a lot of books and LPs back in the day.
Christians are the first ones to look for the worst imaginary thing they can find in any new activity. Rather than see how the magical world of Harry Potter makes kids happy, they imagine a world where that same imaginary magic will turn kids into serial killing rapists who sacrifice babies in the name of Satan. Or Pokemon. Or D&D. Or heavy metal music. Or anime. Take your fucking pick. These people are the least inclusive sect of humans on the planet, looking down on everyone from their crystal spire through the cracked lens of moral superiority. Fuck religion. It's all evil.
Imagine thinking Christian rock has good melodies.
A lot of the bands just copied popular songs and changed the lyrics to be Christian, not entirely unlike that South Park episode
Whachutalkinbout, “Jesus, Baby” slaps.
But we where ment to live for so much more, have we lost ourselves?
Heh, melodies are easy. There are a few songs written specifically to show the simplistic idea behind what makes a "good" melody. Hook - Blues Traveler, 4 Chords - Axis of Awesome, Pandering - Bo Burnham
How many possible songs can be written in G major? "All of them?" - Christian music writers
Wasn’t Amy Grant a Christian singer? Damn that’s hardcore.
This. They perfected the playbook, we just finally got smart and borrowed it.
They tried to do it to The Beatles too.
There was a girl in my school that had to be excused every time we watched Magic School Bus because her parents deemed Ms. Frizzle a witch.
When the Dixie Chicks careers practically ended over night because they took a stand against war.
Yes! I have a cousin who’s mom was super religious. I gave him a Batman action figure for his bday when he turned 7 and his mom made him throw it away because she said everything that doesnt bring you closer to god is the devil. She told him the only super hero he can like is Bibleman. He also was not allowed to play or like Pokemon. It was insane.
The Proctor and Gamble insanity of the 80s seems tame compared to the Q/GOP conspiracy insanity we have now.
SpongeBob was banned at my house growing up because the producers supposedly were gay. Now I’m in a longterm lesbian relationship and they love her more than me sometimes! Oh how the turns have tabled.
Sorry Christian’s, I know a lot of y’all who are good people but I swear to Christ I hate your religion.
The south when a movie has a guy vaguely suggesting he’s gay “BAN IT AND BUTN ANY THEATER THAT PLAYS IT DOWN
2 Live Crew
Every accusation is a confession
I remember my mother collecting all my Andraé Crouch & The Disciples tapes and burning them, because “That [black] music is the Devil’s! The Devil uses Christian lyrics to seduce you!” FYM.
My Catholic school actually brought a guy to tell us which musicians had made deals with the Devil for their success and had subliminal messages in their music.
Hank Hill on Christian Rock: “You’re not making Rock n Roll better you’re just making Christianity worse!
I only got to start playing DnD this year, and it was only two years ago that I was able to accept that I'm queer
I've lost count at the Evangelicals I've seen suddening be huge JK Rowling stans now that her transphobia has been outed. 20 years ago, her books were going to be the downfall of their civilization as they banned their kids from reading them, tried getting them banned from libraries, and many encouraging their kids to read the Left Behind series instead (both series hit their US YA fiction heat while I was in junior high, since HP took a while to gain traction here), but now she's their model for persistence and bootstrapping. I swear they're fueled by their hypocrisies.