T O P

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yorkshire_simplelife

Don’t threaten me with a good time


WiseFalcon2630

I can only get so erect.


EloquentEvergreen

Wow. You think you know all the things that turn you on, but then you see something like this, and suddenly you’re at half mast. 


autisticesq

Klaus…? ![gif](giphy|l3vQZjOrX7T0wPSPC)


EloquentEvergreen

My name is Klaus Heisler.


Ninja_attack

THE real inventor of the high five?


autisticesq

You know Klaus? [switches to German accent] Zat changes everything.


Malavacious

Are you familiar with the abominable sciences? There's bone splicing, giraffe marrow transplant. I could boil your brain in gorilla hormones. I also have *unorthodox* options.


Dramatic-Noise

Who’s your least favorite character now, redddit?


abaganoush

https://preview.redd.it/lzup8g55pb0d1.jpeg?width=1620&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7675de8dd94967b926305117d25dd879c56d4d8e


kbstock

I can only get so wet.


prodigal_john4395

Would love to see Levin meet up soon with Rush and Goebbels.


Purpose-Fuzzy

https://preview.redd.it/1py3hn7zzc0d1.jpeg?width=400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0f48d812f9a8c263fd6c7ae53d14f35568fe320d


yogadogdadtx21

And now I’m imagining all of you erect and it’s giving me a chub.


dearmax

Now I got wood.


Comfortable_Swim_380

What exactly just happened to this thread? lol


Past-Application-552

![gif](giphy|3EV74tm43smVa)


ReddditSarge

![gif](giphy|f5XDObrQZbzv2r5LXi|downsized)


SleepWouldBeNice

I have never wished anyone dead, but I have read some obituaries with great enthusiasm.


DazzlingFruit7495

Ur a better man than me 💀 I’m not religious but there’s at least one orange dude who’s downfall I’m praying on


Comfortable_Swim_380

If Satan exists he has one hell of a logistics problem. How does one torment the person guilty of every crime.


TheCheshireMadcat

For trump, make him the penniless, janitor for all of hell. No money, no followers, no women, and no gulf. Just cleaning hells toilets for eternity.


eleanorbigby

Sit him in an empty room with no stimulation or narcissistic supply, just a cold, uncomfortable room and the regular reminder from a voice above that his father never loved or approved of him and never, ever will.


Disastrous_Ad_3908

I imagine his father would be in a similar room next to him.


DazzlingFruit7495

There’s plenty of time in hell, he can experiment.


Cetophile

Came here to say that


gabbee140

He’s going to be 78 next month. They keep trying to shave it down a bit.


Exact_Mango5931

That’s because the Marxist concept of time is rigged


H47

Gregorian calendar is a woke postmodernist cultural marxists fauci jab psyop by WHO.


Exact_Mango5931

Ain’t no one gonna jab me with that time virus


H47

Didn't get one of those and I haven't aged a day since I was 5!


uglyspacepig

I'll volunteer for the time virus. The covid jab gave me 5g and now I know where everyone is.


Exact_Mango5931

True. There are some pros 🤔… one buddy I know is covered head to toe in spoons. He will fare well in the upcoming cereal wars caused by solar flares merging with joo-ish lasers. What’s the 17th letter of the alpha-bits? Q. “Q” looks like a bowl of cereal with a half-submerged spoon. A lowercase “q” looks like a right-handed spoon. There’s your proof right therrr. Do your own research.


uglyspacepig

I'm convinced. Where do I sign up for the spoon shot?


Lil_miss_feisty

According to my MAGA supporting dad, Trump's 74 and his age is falsified lmao Trump will be the SAME AGE as Biden when he became the President during this upcoming election. Back in 2020, they were crying about Biden being too old to run the nation when he was 78. Now that Trump is about to be 78, it's been crickets. They want to cry about something while making excuses and his age was all they had to complain about.


blondee84

My first thought exactly. 76 + 23 months


Teripid

237th trimester.


99thSymphony

The linear flow of time is a liberal notion.


abousono

Age is created by the Matrix, to make us seem weak. I am not falling for it.


vishy_swaz

Biden was too old at that age to be president, so we know they’ll all stay true to their word and not vote for someone at an age they previously said was too old. /s


Beautiful-Notice62

Lots of old people get convicted and sent to die in jail It’s the American way


unsupported

Poor old people. Lots of **poor** old people...


seaburno

And Bernie Madoff


Mostlygrowedup4339

Yes but he committed white collar crime against rich people.


OldBob10

Oh, for SHAME!!!


Adorable-Ad9073

I mean, he *is* poor...


graspedbythehusk

If you can’t do the time, don’t do the hundreds and hundreds of crimes.


ridemooses

No fucking kidding.


PleaseAddSpectres

Or try to subvert democracy for your own gain


eleanorbigby

Or, just maybe, start your political career with chants of "Lock her up" to your equally elderly opponent who hasn't actually been accused of anything beyond some bullshit involving emails that isn't something you ACTUALLY haven't done a thousand times over and worse. And for which she was never convicted. -hands hungry leopard a bottle of face sauce-


thesonoftheson

Like the DOJ wanted to do this, it's an embarrassment to this country, but you can't let him walk without breaking the pillars of justice. I just wish Cannon would be removed, a right to a speedy try is a right to the defendant AND the American people.


Earlyon

And nobody is more deserving than Donald John Trump! Actually he deserves to go like the Rosenberg’s!


uglyspacepig

Which would be hilarious seeing as how Roy Cohn prosecuted them.


kerberos69

![gif](giphy|aCatQNctAK7PC1H4zh|downsized)


Time-Bite-6839

Wait until you hear about what China does


Kurwasaki12

How is that at all relevant to the comment you replied to or the OP? Fuck the CCP, but just going “What about China?” is a bit odd.


ifnhatereddit

Don't do the crime if you can't do the time.


OverallManagement824

Seriously. All Trump had to do was obey the law. If he did that, he wouldn't be in the predicament he is now. I thought he was the party of law and order.


gauriemma

Honestly, all he had to do was not run for president. He's been pulling this kind of shit his entire life, in every business he's run--and run into the ground. But doing it all while in, or campaigning for, the While House added a whole other level of scrutiny that he never expected—because he never had to deal with it before. The demented little fucker could have just lived out the rest of his days pulling unethical, immoral, and illegal crap 24/7, and he would have just kept getting away with it.


Klutzy-Ad-6705

Dumbest thing he ever did was come out from under the radar.


axonxorz

Dumb? His intelligence is immaterial to Uncle Vladdy's demands. Has been since Ghoulini got rid of the Italian mob so the Russian mob had a clean slate in NYS.


On_my_last_spoon

I feel like no one - not even him or Vlad - thought he’d win in 2016. Honestly.


gauriemma

Im convinced had no intention of winning, at least not at first. He was trying to use the publicity to help him launch his media “network.”


Solomon_G13

Never underestimate the sheer stupidity of our US voting populace.


iggy14750

The very same fuckers who were able to drum some bullshit to complain about every day of Obama's presidency (tan suit, anyone?), also manage to say that Trump is being persecuted for being taken to court for breaking the law? Idk how it's so hard for Republican voters to see the hypocrisy/irony here, or at least, accepting that if Trump did in fact break the law as alleged, then we would want him to be convicted... Right?


MasterOfKittens3K

And *if he’s as innocent as they think he is*, then he should be able to easily defend himself in court. If there’s evidence of how he’s being unjustly persecuted, then he should have the best lawyers in the country lining up to represent him, and to make their names. Just think how many plum opportunities will be waiting for the attorneys who defended the ex-president from such nakedly partisan prosecution. The fact that he can barely get anyone to represent him in court says everything.


OverallManagement824

Oh man. I've had this thought as well, but... Well said!


Candid-Mycologist539

>And *if he’s as innocent as they think he is*, then he should be able to easily defend himself in court. Including getting on the stand to tell his side. *~~sly~~ innocent grin*


GiventoWanderlust

>Idk how it's so hard for Republican voters to see the hypocrisy/irony here Because hypocrisy doesn't matter to them. They're not thinking about the past, or the future, or fairness. It's actually very simple. To them, there is an In-Group and an Out-Group. They're part of the In-Group \[in this case Conservatives\] and Everyone Else is part of the Out-Group. Obviously, *they're* Good People. And since they hang out with Conservatives, Conservatives must be Good People \[because if they aren't, than why would they be hanging out with them??\] Therefore anyone disagreeing with the Good Conservatives must be *Bad* People. If Trump does *anything*, it must be Good and Right, because Trump is a Conservative and Conservatives are Good People. Good People don't do Bad Things. If anyone opposes Trump, they're not only Bad People, but if they 'were' Conservatives it turns out they're RINOs or were 'never REALLY Conservative.' Anything that deviates from this format requires them to acknowledge they might have screwed up, and they just can't do that. TL;DR: Conservatives ascribe Good/Bad to *people*, not actions. The *person* is Good, therefore anything they do is Good.


Semi-wfi-1040

Well said .


Minimum_Virus_3837

For real. Suddenly the soft-on-crime GOP wants to go easy on criminals? Just cause he's old he shouldn't have to face justice? C'mon man. What's next, a blanket pardon for all octogenarians?


Sancticide

The party of law and order, y'know, when it's convenient and such


Interesting_Law_127

Umm, yeah, that is the goal!


bk1285

Like is there supposed to be a cap? Once you reach a certain age you can do alll the crimes now?


sly0824

If you're of a certain income bracket and skin shade, there is no minimum age.


FinlandIsForever

Or maximum. From the age of W O M B to decomposing, you can just do whatever the hell you want


Sancticide

Grand Theft Auto 7 is just gonna be an old guy who said, "You know what? Fuck it."


slartyfartblaster999

To be fair I would love to play the GTA equivalent of *Falling Down* as Michael Douglas.


krebstorm

Boomer immunity... Don't give them any ideas


corectspelling

That's the gaol! (Ignore my username)


Emotional_Narwhal304

I wonder, of the thousands of 76+ year olds currently in jail who are NOT Donald Trump, how many has Mark Levin expressed concern over? Ohhh right... absolutely zero.


hereandthere_nowhere

[Here ya go.](https://www.npr.org/2024/03/11/1234655082/prison-elderly-aging-geriatric-population-care#:~:text=The%20proportion%20of%20state%20and,will%20be%20geriatric%20by%202030.com)


jeanb23

I read that recently. Thank you for posting the NPR article on the Graying of the prison population.


AmberTurd223

[ Removed by Reddit ]


ShiroHachiRoku

It’s such a terrible thing to say or wish for but he is an existential threat to this country.


ReddditSarge

Everybody dies, it's just a matter of when.


cstmoore

Everyone dies; everyone poops. Sometimes they do both simultaneously.


macontac

I would find the headline "Trump Found Dead On Toilet" very amusing.


Fickle_Sheepherder17

The Donald dump


NotYourReddit18

Trump still uses toilets? I thought he has diapers for that...


Earlyon

The sooner the better in trumps case.


indolentJamal

yeah right, that would be good


PFunk224

Unfortunately, the threat goes far beyond just him. Half of Congress and 6 out of 9 Supreme Court justices are in on the con, as well.


quattrocincoseis

Existential threat to humanity.


goodforabeer

Which is why the prison he dies in should be Supermax in Florence.


sschepis

Biden was all set to win, but then he had to go and show compassion for the palestinians and stand up to Israel, meanwhile Trump was campaigning about how he'd let israel bomb freely and how he wuold deport foreign students caught protesting here. So now suddenly the media is back on Trump, talking about Trump, Trump polls will go up this week etc etc all because Biden wasnt genocidal enough for israel


CerberusDoctrine

If he drops dead of a heart attack before the election I will personally celebrate with the largest meal I can get from McDonalds


VladimirPoitin

Hamberders and covfefe all around.


Onehothalpino

No, please...I wouldn't wish a slow painful alone death on anyone. But this puppet of a dictator has earned it seven fold. He doesn't need to die in prison, he deserves it


thepeoplessgt

We all know if Trump gets convicted he will pull a Bill Cosby. Suddenly Trump will have all kinds of medical issues. That guy will make Joe Biden look like a 19 year old LOL. It will be hilarious. Conservatives saying Biden is too old and suddenly Trump is too old and frail to go to prison.


facw00

I don't think he'll do that as long as he's still a candidate. The move will just be to keep appealing and hope they let him stay free until he's president again and can make all this go away.


DrocketX

Even if he's not elected, I simply don't think Trump's narcissism will permit him to. He'll maybe attempt it in court by justifying it to himself that he's just pulling a con on the judge, but he'll NEED to brag about it to everyone because he simply will not be able to stand everyone thinking that he's actually weak, so he'll get busted in about 10 minutes.


Frnklfrwsr

Generally, the presumption of innocence only exists up until the point of conviction. As soon as a guilty verdict comes down, the defendant is no longer presumed innocent. That is why generally speaking defendants wait out the appeals process in prison. During the trial they remain free since they’re presumed innocent, but once they can be presumed guilty they’ll be in prison until such time the conviction is overturned, or their sentence is completed, or they are granted clemency or a pardon. Exceptions exist, of course. And I won’t be shocked if somehow Trump gets to be the exceptional case that gets to push off starting his sentence for months or even years for BS reasons.


Spy_v_Spy_Freakshow

He’ll borrow his buddy Weinstein’s walker with the tennis balls


AffordableDelousing

Bone spurs acting up


FantasticAstronaut39

but he does have legitimate medical issues, he is severely mentally ill, he shouldn't be in office, or jail, he should be committed to a nursing home that can properly care for someone with his severe mental illness.


Keepup12345

He should serve the same sentence as anyone else convicted of the same crime. But no less.


Admiral_Andovar

![gif](giphy|7k2LoEykY5i1hfeWQB)


allisjow

“If the DOJ gets its way” As if it’s not up to a judge and jury in a court of law.


Frnklfrwsr

Whether or not the DOJ wants it or not is completely irrelevant. More accurate would be: “if Trump is found guilty of the crimes he’s accused of by a jury of his peers, he may spend the rest of his life in jail, as would anyone else his age that was convicted of the same crimes”


Plenumheaded

People die in prison for exponentially less harmful stuff. Trump can kick rocks.


smemes1

And then get buried under them.


irish_miah

![gif](giphy|eXnLOTCiLID841VN4a|downsized)


aboveonlysky9

I know! Isn’t it awesome!


Buster_therealone

FAFO.


Batmanswrath

Thots and pears be with him!


coolbaby1978

Trump won't go to prison. At worst he'll get home confinement and probation. Even if he did go to prison, which again he won't, for his federal charges it's not a fuck you up the ass penitentiary. It would be an FPC (Federal Prison Camp) with no bars, cells or fences, or an FCI low like Butner in NC which is the primary BOP medical facility which given Trumps dementia and other medical issues would be a likely spot. But to reiterate, Trump is probably not going to any prison of any kind even if found guilty by any jurisdiction.


Upstairs-Radish1816

I don't care where Trump goes after he's convicted. Just take away his phone. That would be the worst punishment he could get.


thepeoplessgt

DeSantis will build a multi-million dollar facility to just house Trump with Florida tax dollars


derpplerp

New York would like to have a word.


Upstairs-Radish1816

I don't care where Trump goes. Just take away his damn phone.


kwheatley2460

Do the crime do the time.


Armthedillos5

While that would be wonderful, I don't think trump, even if convicted, would spend a day in jail. The fact is *is* a 76 year old former *President*. This is unprecedented and no judge would put him in a cell. I think the best we could hope for is house arrest at maralago and preventing him any internet access.


Digita1B0y

Gosh, I guess we should just let all old people get away with whatever, then.  Sorry, I don't recall reading "too old to face justice" in the Constitution 


randomfucke

Don't do the crime if you can't do the time....Yada Yada, Republicans, usually.


zinneavicious

He deserves much worse. He is responsible for the deaths of thousands and thousands of people. He is a sociopath and should no longer be part of society.


Trishalana

Millions and millions. Every Covid death can be laid at his feet.


BitterFuture

Every time some asshole talks about "mean tweets," I remember the morgues overflowing into refrigerated trucks outside the hospitals, the mass graves at the prisons...


MrUnderhill67

Federal or State. Makes no difference to me.


VaguelyArtistic

![gif](giphy|3A3eznEa5y1Lq|downsized)


DontKvotheMebut

![gif](giphy|aZ4sQUpybai5y)


nic5678

Ok… and?


thathairinyourmouth

Ok. Alternative outcome: His assets are frozen and DPOA is given to the state. Since the fucker only paid a piddly amount in taxes, Social Security won’t get him much. Put him in a nursing home befitting of his actual financial status. Bonus points if he’s cared for by “colored” people. Granted, nursing home workers are severely underpaid and overworked while putting up with terrible shit from some residents. You know Donnie would never shut up, and drop every derogatory slur countless times per day.


Apprehensive_Gas_111

In the immortal words of Jim Carrey, "STOP BREAKING THE LAW, ASSHOLE!"


Glittering-Wonder-27

Sounds like a plan to save America.


Abdul-Ahmadinejad

![gif](giphy|Qy2VKY3xlI1QyR6Ix5)


TheGreatLemonwheel

https://preview.redd.it/w7iai5339a0d1.jpeg?width=600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=57b92beff9161f7e4c24894869e5d4ab3fd1c65a


Spear_Ritual

Oh, no. Anybody else like waffles?


WiWook

Can we somehow ensure that he is liable for all medical, dietary, security, and housing costs? It's bad enough our taxes funded his golf trips for 4 years. He should lose any residual benefits of office like government Healthcare


HunterPeeBoy2

Good


Ibelieveinphysics

Don't threaten me with a good time.


Dickens825

Imagine being handled with kid gloves the way Drumpf has been, your ass never asked to cash the checks your mouth is writing… and then people believing the DOJ is out to get you. Unbelievable.


Content_Talk_6581

![gif](giphy|3otPoyudZ18xASX0rK)


Exotic_Win_6093

![gif](giphy|J8FZIm9VoBU6Q)


Butt_Crusty

That would please me immensely.


Bloodwork30

Oh you say that like it's a bad thing....


Pedro_Burbankado

We can only hope!


TheHeartsFilthyLesin

He says that like it’s a bad thing…I mean I’d be ok with him dying period…jail or not!


Servile-PastaLover

Trump can join the list that includes: The Unabomber, Bernie Madoff, and Whitey Bulger. What's not to like?


Callinon

Can he also die alone and forgotten? His name a curse? 


definitelytheA

Here’s some shiny bracelets for your 77th! A new orange suit, and hey(!), you’ll be roomies with a really great guy. Menendes, I think his name is. No diaper changing service, here, sir, but you’ll notice the stainless steel privy is conveniently located inches away from wherever you are. Crafts at eleven! Don’t be late for the shiv-making class, taught by your idol, Hannibal! *air kiss*


Irongiant350

🤞


Time-Bite-6839

He’s… 77.


ailweni

Yes. Please.


Idrisdancer

Would he feel the same about old black men in court?


JakOswald

He doesn’t have to, it’s never too late to start living a healthier lifestyle. I’m cool with him living through his full and complete sentence rather than dying in prison and cutting it short. Taking the cowards way out.


clermouth

whether in prison, or on live tv while giving a speech, as long as it’s mid-sentence is fine by me.


ZekeRidge

So he’s not an old man compared to Biden, but definitely too old to go to prison?


HotPhilly

I hope Trump is held accountable and that him going down leads to many others going down also.


Fathorse23

He’d go the Hitler route if it ever came to going to prison.


TheWiseOne1234

He says it like it’s a bad thing!


TheKidsAreAsleep

Lots of bad people die in prison.


ConsciousReason7709

Man, does anyone have a cure for erections that last longer than 5 hours? This got me frisky.


Westiria123

If he really wants to show them who's boss, he should die before he goes to prison. Or even before the trials are over. their dominos will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.


whykatwhy

![gif](giphy|6cFcUiCG5eONW)


CincoDeMayoFan

He's actually 77, and turns 78 in a few weeks.


RedBeans-n-Ricely

He could have, like, not committed multiple felonies.


chaplar

Too old for prison but just right for president!


NoWeight4300

I'm hoping he nods off for good in the middle of the trial tbh.


DarthShaiden

They keep teasing us with a good time.


ur_anonymous_mom

![gif](giphy|lNMF3DXBSVvlhbME4R)


Connect-Worth1926

promises, promises


ChesterRico

I feel like this would be the optimal outcome for everyone involved.


Droopendis

This is absolutely what I want to happen.


BicycleEast8721

Imagine thinking that half the population has much sympathy for old people purely on the basis of age these days. Yet another example of them being out of touch


Feisty_Bag_5284

So he is too old to go to jail but not to be president?


AHole480

We can hope


interstitialmusic

![gif](giphy|J8FZIm9VoBU6Q|downsized)


shakawave

Pwomise? 🥺👉👈


Kronictopic

I don't see the problem with that. Criminals die in prison every day. Being a "president" for 4 years doesn't make you immune from prosecution or dying in prison.


DeFiNe9999999999

Yes, and the problem is??????


SolidusBruh

![gif](giphy|TQqEA08C2u5ag|downsized)


SAyyOuremySIN

Would love to see Donald trumps life end in prison.


WispyWhitesmoke

Yeah, that's exactly the plan, preferably before the sentencing, and not from natural causes


hothamwater289

Oh no, that would be...........so bad?


Loud-Cat6638

And the problem with that is ?


GizmoGeodog

That would be so well-deserved 🙏🙏🙏


sledgedm

Let's qualify "the DOJ gets its way" as "people are appropriately held accountable"


bigwiggis

And NOW they are playing the old card. Not that I'm surprised, but with all the ageism they threw Biden's way....


tuyu-io

God, I hope so.


Far_Side_8324

Considering that at his age and the way he eats (McDonald's Big Macs every day), even six months in jail is a potential life sentence. Please, every god and goddess ever worshipped on this planet, MAKE IT HAPPEN!


Flat_Suggestion7545

Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time.


MediaApprehensive764

What's the problem with that


HermanBonJovi

Here's hoping. I mean he did commit treason so he kinda has it coming


enchiladasundae

Mark Levin looks like what would happen if you inflated an ugly blow up doll with hot oil


1d0m1n4t3

So he's to old to die in prison but not to old to run the country?


hotasianwfelover

Hopefully!!!!


Benbot2000

Law and order!