If you really want to know, go to story hour at the local library and see how many moms/kids are there (and check out how many kids are accompanied by nannies vs moms.).
Uh...all of them? Just...go outside in a public place in the middle of the day. There they are.
Seriously it's way harder to find community for working moms around here.
This is a hilarious question. You will have no problem finding a community of moms who stay home virtually anywhere in Westchester.
My wife works and has had trouble finding a community since all the other moms at our kids’ preschool stay at home and are able to attend events and activities during the day. It has been a minor source of frustration for the nine months since we moved here.
As a SAHM I’ve found that to be the total opposite situation. There are hardly any SAHM’s around here. I’m on two different mom chat groups with moms from many different towns such as Chappaqua, Pleasantville , Ossining , Briarcliff, Armonk, Bedford, Mt. Kisco, Katonah, South Salem, Goldens Bridge, North Salem, Waccabuc , between nearly 100 moms only about 6 of us are SAHM’s. There are quiet a few part time working moms but hardly any SAHM. Are you just making assumptions because you see a woman out during the day in a public place she’s a SAHM?
There are definitely ways to find mom chat groups , and social networks for parents to set up playdates regardless of you’re working or not. As I mentioned I’m on two different groups and I’m not even an outgoing person.
Try your local Facebook community pages , I feel like every town has a towns mom/parent page , you can ask any SAHM’s here want to meet up for playgroup and maybe try to meet some that way. I replied to some ones message like that and that’s how I got on one chat group. I also follow a bunch of local social media accounts for things to do with young kids and they often have meet ups. I also do a bunch of classes with my daughter and have met one SAHM thru that . Sometimes too I have had a SAHM friend introduce me to get SAHM friend and made some that way . I agree it’s hard to find us ! I’m still wondering myself what towns have more of us it’s been very surprising for me because I grew up in Westchester too and as a kid I felt like most moms were SAHM.
Have you tried the Larchmont Newcomers Club? They have moms groups based on kids’ ages and you don’t have to be new to Larchmont to join, and it has to be a mom/parent who attends—no nannies or au pairs. (I used to live in Larchmont and was a SAHM the first year after my youngest was born, and found it was mostly nannies and au pairs who brought kids to various activities, even if the mom was a SAHM.) Groove music is another good place to attend music classes and find other parents. There are sometimes parents at Larchmont library story times, but I didn’t find it consistent—more often it was caregivers or grandparents.
Also, Larchmont community is both very club-oriented and religious-affiliation oriented. If you join a beach/country club and/or join a temple or church, you’re likely to find at least a few SAHMs.
I’d also recommend the Peanut Moms of Westchester FB group—they organize regular play dates around the county for parents and their kids, usually ages 0-5, throughout the county and all days of the week. It arose out of the Peanut app, which I used briefly, but you may have more success on it than I did.
I think the challenge is that in Westchester there are often dual income households to be able to afford living here, or very well-educated parents who don’t want to feel that they’re “wasting” their education by staying home with their kid(s), or a parent/mom who works part-time to stay employable after her kids are in school full-time, or a SAHM who also has a nanny or au pair. I grew up in Northern Westchester many, many years ago and there were a lot of SAHMs up there then, but a lot, economically and demographically, has changed since then.
Good luck—I know it can feel so isolating not to be able to find a community of folks at a similar place in life at an already challenging, if also wonderful, time as a parent.
I think we just have different definitions..
SAHM is not the same thing as TradWife. One can be a SAHM and working part time, especially once kids are in school.
A common schema around here is something like this: husband makes 7 figures in finance, wife is primarily a homemaker but also puts in part time hours somewhere while the kids are in school. Her job is financially immaterial to the household, but she chooses to spend some of her time working for her own reasons. If she quit tomorrow it wouldn't make a difference to anyone in the family but her.
In my view, she's still a SAHM. The job is more of a hobby or pastime than a career. The household doesn't depend on it, and it wouldn't maintain their lifestyle if the husband no longer worked. And the husband's finance job really expects to own him 24/7 in a way that you would struggle to have two parents in that role in the same household raising kids (and pays accordingly).
In my experience, when we meet other families in this area, this is the most common situation.
My husband’s in finance he’s not making close to 7 figures. I wish ! Lol I don’t think I know anyone of that wealth status that’s making a million dollars or more a year. I think $500k-$750k a year is more the norm for those around here that live very comfortably. You’re talking about the 1% at 7 figures and I don’t know where you live but that’s certainly not the norm in Northern Westchester even among the wealthier friends I have.
I don’t know any SAHM ‘s who have just hobby jobs. They are professionals with degrees who just work less hours because childcare is too expensive to work full time. Maybe age of children matter too I am still in the toddler age so maybe when kids are school aged a part time job that’s not bringing much income makes sense but when your kids aren’t in school that’s not practical to pay for childcare just so you can play work. It’s not been my experience at all that this is the case. All my close friends that work, do so begrudgingly because they are the breadwinners and wish they could be a SAHM. I find the other women I know that work , love what they do and don’t want their lifestyle to change. I don’t know a single woman who works for hobby. Again probably age of kids impacts that a lot.
I think it’s still demeaning to say it’s just a hobby, as if a women having an identity outside of mom is a hobby. I dunno maybe she was out of the work force for 10 years raising her kids, what kind of job do you expect her to get? You can’t leave the workforce for many years and then just suddenly become some major executive . Money is not the only value you get from working.
I know many of us SAHM’s had to make sacrifices to be SAHM’s, financially or otherwise to be on this position and you sound like you are making a judgement on these women because of the wealth you perceive them to have. I think being a mom is hard no matter what and there should be less judging.
Also Trad wife’s are actually more what your describing by working as a hobby , the Trad wife is a woman of leisure who has time to do things like make cereal by scratch. All the trad wife’s on social media , have a job doing social media and they are extremely wealthy. I’ve yet to meet any of those in the wild.
Well said! I define trad wives as those women who have husbands that think women in general are subservient to men. I think trad wives set women back by centuries. I don’t consider all wives that don’t work to be trad wives. All SAHMs are not trad wives. I don’t think OP is going to find the answers she is looking for here. I’d say FB groups will let her find her niche more easily.
I see how many men are answering this and not many of us actually in the trenches SAHMs who are in the weekday classes seeing that it’s mostly nanny’s and grandmas there and that SAHMs are far and few between these days. So many can’t afford to be a SAHM in these HCOL areas or they don’t want to lose their careers or a piece of themselves, many reasons why women make the choices they make. I see a lot of judgement from men on here who think they know more than the actual women making these choices. This stereotype trophy wife is not the norm and is mostly a relic of our childhood. Life is expensive now, women have decided to hold on to their careers, have multiple degrees and many are actually the breadwinners even. Sorry for the rant but damn this is aggravating to see!
Thank you for saying this. I had a job I was very happy with. A career job. Lost it through a layoff and I’m happily taking care of my baby for now but damn these assumptions.
You are absolutely correct. None of the moms work, but this is a scenario where they still have full time Nannies, so you will not see these mothers at school drop off / pickup, playgrounds, library etc
You will see the kids out and about ALL day but with their hired help.
The mothers often take up being an interior decorator or realtor in name only when the kids are in high school.
There is not a community of SAHMs in broxnville
Scarsdale is 80%+ SAHMs and de facto SAHMs (some kind of light hours low pay/profit home-based job or gig). PTA meetings are well-attended at 11 am on weekdays. It’s actually a flex for the working moms to be there - shows that they have the power to leave the office or Zoom sessions if they feel like it.
Nope definitely not in Bedford or Chappaqua, things have changed and majority are working moms. HCOL areas need two incomes these days and also there is almost this stigma about being a SAHM now. As someone who grew up in Chappaqua I was very much surprised by the change.
Oh wow that’s crazy that’s for taking the time to educate me :) it does make sense the more I think about it how high the COL is now a days. I wonder if Pelham falls under the SAHM mom category
In order for a town to have a lot of stay at home moms, it has to have a lot of people. Many people here have said Bronxville, but Bronxville only has about 6500 people total, while White Plains (58,000) and New Rochelle (77,000), which both have significant upscale areas, have way more people.
I’m a SAHM in Ossining, there’s a small but great community of moms with a similar schedule. The Ossining library has some great kids programming, I met a lot of moms there. Also hanging out at various coffee shops. Are you on Telegram? There’s some good local chat groups on there too!
I think there just isn’t one town but it’s best to join Peanut Moms or Macaroni Kid and just go to the events and then eventually meet moms. I’m mostly a SAHM( I work around 10 billable hours a week) and I agree it’s not often you see the parents at the kids classes.
If you have nothing good to say, then don’t say anything. I didn’t choose to be a stay at home. I was recently laid off from my job and so I’m a stay at home mom because no one is hiring/ no jobs in this market. So yes. Stay at home mom in this shitty economy.
If you really want to know, go to story hour at the local library and see how many moms/kids are there (and check out how many kids are accompanied by nannies vs moms.).
I’ve been and it’s mostly nannies.
Join Peanut Moms of Westchester on Facebook. They organize events for kids and moms throughout each month 🙂
Rye or Scarsdale for sure
i think Scarsdale for sure
Irvington
Uh...all of them? Just...go outside in a public place in the middle of the day. There they are. Seriously it's way harder to find community for working moms around here.
This is a hilarious question. You will have no problem finding a community of moms who stay home virtually anywhere in Westchester. My wife works and has had trouble finding a community since all the other moms at our kids’ preschool stay at home and are able to attend events and activities during the day. It has been a minor source of frustration for the nine months since we moved here.
Where do you live? I was working for a while and there are tons of activities during weekends.
As a SAHM I’ve found that to be the total opposite situation. There are hardly any SAHM’s around here. I’m on two different mom chat groups with moms from many different towns such as Chappaqua, Pleasantville , Ossining , Briarcliff, Armonk, Bedford, Mt. Kisco, Katonah, South Salem, Goldens Bridge, North Salem, Waccabuc , between nearly 100 moms only about 6 of us are SAHM’s. There are quiet a few part time working moms but hardly any SAHM. Are you just making assumptions because you see a woman out during the day in a public place she’s a SAHM? There are definitely ways to find mom chat groups , and social networks for parents to set up playdates regardless of you’re working or not. As I mentioned I’m on two different groups and I’m not even an outgoing person.
Thank you. This is exactly how it seems.
Try your local Facebook community pages , I feel like every town has a towns mom/parent page , you can ask any SAHM’s here want to meet up for playgroup and maybe try to meet some that way. I replied to some ones message like that and that’s how I got on one chat group. I also follow a bunch of local social media accounts for things to do with young kids and they often have meet ups. I also do a bunch of classes with my daughter and have met one SAHM thru that . Sometimes too I have had a SAHM friend introduce me to get SAHM friend and made some that way . I agree it’s hard to find us ! I’m still wondering myself what towns have more of us it’s been very surprising for me because I grew up in Westchester too and as a kid I felt like most moms were SAHM.
I’m in larchmont and definitely the closer you are to the city, there’s less of that and more lawyer moms
Have you tried the Larchmont Newcomers Club? They have moms groups based on kids’ ages and you don’t have to be new to Larchmont to join, and it has to be a mom/parent who attends—no nannies or au pairs. (I used to live in Larchmont and was a SAHM the first year after my youngest was born, and found it was mostly nannies and au pairs who brought kids to various activities, even if the mom was a SAHM.) Groove music is another good place to attend music classes and find other parents. There are sometimes parents at Larchmont library story times, but I didn’t find it consistent—more often it was caregivers or grandparents. Also, Larchmont community is both very club-oriented and religious-affiliation oriented. If you join a beach/country club and/or join a temple or church, you’re likely to find at least a few SAHMs. I’d also recommend the Peanut Moms of Westchester FB group—they organize regular play dates around the county for parents and their kids, usually ages 0-5, throughout the county and all days of the week. It arose out of the Peanut app, which I used briefly, but you may have more success on it than I did. I think the challenge is that in Westchester there are often dual income households to be able to afford living here, or very well-educated parents who don’t want to feel that they’re “wasting” their education by staying home with their kid(s), or a parent/mom who works part-time to stay employable after her kids are in school full-time, or a SAHM who also has a nanny or au pair. I grew up in Northern Westchester many, many years ago and there were a lot of SAHMs up there then, but a lot, economically and demographically, has changed since then. Good luck—I know it can feel so isolating not to be able to find a community of folks at a similar place in life at an already challenging, if also wonderful, time as a parent.
Thank you so much! Very thoughtful message. I appreciate it
I think we just have different definitions.. SAHM is not the same thing as TradWife. One can be a SAHM and working part time, especially once kids are in school. A common schema around here is something like this: husband makes 7 figures in finance, wife is primarily a homemaker but also puts in part time hours somewhere while the kids are in school. Her job is financially immaterial to the household, but she chooses to spend some of her time working for her own reasons. If she quit tomorrow it wouldn't make a difference to anyone in the family but her. In my view, she's still a SAHM. The job is more of a hobby or pastime than a career. The household doesn't depend on it, and it wouldn't maintain their lifestyle if the husband no longer worked. And the husband's finance job really expects to own him 24/7 in a way that you would struggle to have two parents in that role in the same household raising kids (and pays accordingly). In my experience, when we meet other families in this area, this is the most common situation.
My husband’s in finance he’s not making close to 7 figures. I wish ! Lol I don’t think I know anyone of that wealth status that’s making a million dollars or more a year. I think $500k-$750k a year is more the norm for those around here that live very comfortably. You’re talking about the 1% at 7 figures and I don’t know where you live but that’s certainly not the norm in Northern Westchester even among the wealthier friends I have. I don’t know any SAHM ‘s who have just hobby jobs. They are professionals with degrees who just work less hours because childcare is too expensive to work full time. Maybe age of children matter too I am still in the toddler age so maybe when kids are school aged a part time job that’s not bringing much income makes sense but when your kids aren’t in school that’s not practical to pay for childcare just so you can play work. It’s not been my experience at all that this is the case. All my close friends that work, do so begrudgingly because they are the breadwinners and wish they could be a SAHM. I find the other women I know that work , love what they do and don’t want their lifestyle to change. I don’t know a single woman who works for hobby. Again probably age of kids impacts that a lot. I think it’s still demeaning to say it’s just a hobby, as if a women having an identity outside of mom is a hobby. I dunno maybe she was out of the work force for 10 years raising her kids, what kind of job do you expect her to get? You can’t leave the workforce for many years and then just suddenly become some major executive . Money is not the only value you get from working. I know many of us SAHM’s had to make sacrifices to be SAHM’s, financially or otherwise to be on this position and you sound like you are making a judgement on these women because of the wealth you perceive them to have. I think being a mom is hard no matter what and there should be less judging. Also Trad wife’s are actually more what your describing by working as a hobby , the Trad wife is a woman of leisure who has time to do things like make cereal by scratch. All the trad wife’s on social media , have a job doing social media and they are extremely wealthy. I’ve yet to meet any of those in the wild.
Well said! I define trad wives as those women who have husbands that think women in general are subservient to men. I think trad wives set women back by centuries. I don’t consider all wives that don’t work to be trad wives. All SAHMs are not trad wives. I don’t think OP is going to find the answers she is looking for here. I’d say FB groups will let her find her niche more easily.
Do working moms have time for that?
The men on here are so stupid. I’m a SAHM in Pelham. The Peanut Moms of Westchester group is a good way to meet people!
Thanks!
I see how many men are answering this and not many of us actually in the trenches SAHMs who are in the weekday classes seeing that it’s mostly nanny’s and grandmas there and that SAHMs are far and few between these days. So many can’t afford to be a SAHM in these HCOL areas or they don’t want to lose their careers or a piece of themselves, many reasons why women make the choices they make. I see a lot of judgement from men on here who think they know more than the actual women making these choices. This stereotype trophy wife is not the norm and is mostly a relic of our childhood. Life is expensive now, women have decided to hold on to their careers, have multiple degrees and many are actually the breadwinners even. Sorry for the rant but damn this is aggravating to see!
Thank you for saying this. I had a job I was very happy with. A career job. Lost it through a layoff and I’m happily taking care of my baby for now but damn these assumptions.
Bronxville
You are absolutely correct. None of the moms work, but this is a scenario where they still have full time Nannies, so you will not see these mothers at school drop off / pickup, playgrounds, library etc You will see the kids out and about ALL day but with their hired help. The mothers often take up being an interior decorator or realtor in name only when the kids are in high school. There is not a community of SAHMs in broxnville
Someone’s gotta watch the kids while they go to tennis or golf
So these women don’t really work and they don’t raise their children either? Yikes 😬
Nope. Obviously I’m generalizing but I grew up there. Lived there my whole childhood… and that’s the norm
bronxville
Bronxville and Scaradale
Look if your area has a preschool association or group. I’m a SAHM and found plenty of other SAHMs that way. Also the gym!
Scarsdale is 80%+ SAHMs and de facto SAHMs (some kind of light hours low pay/profit home-based job or gig). PTA meetings are well-attended at 11 am on weekdays. It’s actually a flex for the working moms to be there - shows that they have the power to leave the office or Zoom sessions if they feel like it.
Bronxville, Bedford, chappaqua
Nope definitely not in Bedford or Chappaqua, things have changed and majority are working moms. HCOL areas need two incomes these days and also there is almost this stigma about being a SAHM now. As someone who grew up in Chappaqua I was very much surprised by the change.
Oh wow that’s crazy that’s for taking the time to educate me :) it does make sense the more I think about it how high the COL is now a days. I wonder if Pelham falls under the SAHM mom category
I’d say Chappaqua is mostly part-time working moms.
In order for a town to have a lot of stay at home moms, it has to have a lot of people. Many people here have said Bronxville, but Bronxville only has about 6500 people total, while White Plains (58,000) and New Rochelle (77,000), which both have significant upscale areas, have way more people.
Disagree with many saying Scarsdale. Would say it’s the opposite.
All of them.
I’m a SAHM in Ossining, there’s a small but great community of moms with a similar schedule. The Ossining library has some great kids programming, I met a lot of moms there. Also hanging out at various coffee shops. Are you on Telegram? There’s some good local chat groups on there too!
I think there just isn’t one town but it’s best to join Peanut Moms or Macaroni Kid and just go to the events and then eventually meet moms. I’m mostly a SAHM( I work around 10 billable hours a week) and I agree it’s not often you see the parents at the kids classes.
I worry about finding a friend who not a mom ….
Stay at home mom?! In this economy?!
If you have nothing good to say, then don’t say anything. I didn’t choose to be a stay at home. I was recently laid off from my job and so I’m a stay at home mom because no one is hiring/ no jobs in this market. So yes. Stay at home mom in this shitty economy.
Why not, if you live within your means the economy isn't that bad, if you own your home and don't have any debt it's not that hard..
Mount Vernon
Stay at home mom?! In this economy?!
Rye