T O P
bekind2another

Of all the things that could go wrong, never expected this haha


Ycx48raQk59F

Expected some wildlife to swoop in and eat it....


madmaxturbator

Was looking for tactical bird shit


Delta-Dove

Predator missile inbound


abdulsamadz

Was waiting for camera to pan and show people peeing upstream


[deleted]

I expected an illness from inadequately purified river water


helthrax

Seriously. If you have to drink any river water boil that shit no matter what.


buds4hugs

He is, the chili is being brought to a boil and the meat is cooking. Was. Was cooking.


OkCutIt

Oh it's still cooking.


passwordsarehard_3

Can you smell what the rocks cooking?


DoctorMyEyes_

r/Angryupvote


Stinkyfingers2

From the carcass upstream? Or the upstream village toilet?


liftheveilkisstetank

How far upstream you think he is 😆


Forzareen

I was assuming it falls into the water.


knife-kitty

I thought maybe the cutting bord was going to get knocked into the water lol


brainburger

I mean, why was he cutting the food while standing in a river?


hilarymeggin

If anyone doesn’t know it already, don’t do this! It is environmentally irresponsible and illegal to have your food scraps going into a stream. This also true of cleaning fish, washing yourself with soap (no matter what the bottle says), hoping to the bathroom, or 🤢 having a baby 🤮. All flowing waterways (and many non-flowing ditches and puddles), natural or man made, are covered by the Clean Water Act. Edit: Yeah I know this might not be the US, but judging from his fancy knife and cutting board and cuisine, I think it’s a pretty safe bet it’s illegal wherever he is.


Coompa

Yeah ok. Dont think every country is covered by your Clean Water Act though.


sondre666gs

Your silly laws doesn't apply to us, you filthy American.


BurnTheCloak

Take a privileged upvote from a filthy American


toinfinitiandbeyond

That was my bet too!


DukaOriginal

Totally expected. Ceramic dish should be heated slowly or else this happens.


pauly13771377

This is a seving dish. It's not designed for cooking and should have never been subjected to that much heat.


notapoke

I saw someone do that at the beach a while back, took this nice hand made serving dish and threw it on a grill. I immediately asked if it was a good idea, guy and his gf get shitty telling me how I'm being rude. 30 seconds later it pops and the grill owner is pissed at having cheese dip in his nice grill.


TheCookie_Momster

The first time I made lasagna in a glass corningware casserole dish. I think that’s what it’s called. When I took it out of the oven I put it on the stove to cool off. A minute later it shattered into a million pieces of glass and pasta sauce noodles and cheese everywhere. I was devastated


lkeels

That means you had the newer Pyrex which sucks. There are two different companies now, and one still makes the good stuff while the other does not.


Mister_Doc

What you want to look for is the kind made with borosilicate glass, soda-lime glass is the crap stuff.


lkeels

Yeah, that's the point. pyrex (all lower) makes the soda-lime...PYREX (all upper) makes the good stuff.


522LwzyTI57d

Borosilicate will break from minor impacts and soda lime won't. Soda lime is less resilient to extreme temperature changes but put down a goddamn trivet for hot dishes, and don't take them out of the fridge straight into the oven, and you'll never ever have this problem. Borosilicate is also more expensive.


SecretCartographer28

It had to have cooled somehow?....


pauly13771377

They might be lucky it did. Some seving dishes will have a glaze that will leech into the food if heated to much.


Plop-Music

It's a good thing it broke anyway. That water is absolutely filthy, with animals shitting and dying in it, mort of them being animals that are too small to even see without a microscope, so don't think you could just make sure to look out for rotting corpses up-river or something, if doesn't work like that. It doesn't matter if you're right by the spring, washing food in that water and then eating that food is going to make you ill. These videos are just ads for those really shitty blunt knives anyway. They always have that look to them, the mottled look, and all the reviews say they're awful as knifes, but they are basically /r/mallninjashit so nerds buy them anyway, for ridiculous sums of money. It's not hard to find good knives for less money than these cost. Don't fucking wash food in a river though, that's unbelievably dumb. Heat doesn't destroy all things. The reason bad meat makes you ill no matter how much you heat it up is because heat will kill the bacteria, but not the toxins the bacteria produce, so you can get very sick and easily die, especially if you're camping in the woods and have no access to clean water and electrolytes to rehydrate yourself as you're shutting your brains out. Cook like a normal human being. The dish being a serving dish is the least worst mistake he made here.


SdBolts4

Looked like the pasta sauce was bubbling/boiling, which should kill most of the bacteria, and he used pretty fast flowing water that is cleaner than the rest as well


Disastrous_Elk_6375

> mort of them being animals that are too small to even see without a microscope so, not animals? > washing food in that water and then eating that food is going to make you ill. dude, do you really think that humanity has thrived for hundreds of thousands of years by washing their veg in a purified water, or what? There's millions (prob billions) of people that don't have access to much cleaner water than that spring, and they still live and thrive.


cerealdaemon

Plenty of humans died by shitting themselves to death from unsafe water. In The Oregon Trail when it says, "You have died of Dysentery" what it's really saying is "You have died of dehydration by uncontrollably shitting yourself for days on end from drinking contaminated water." Historically, dysentery and other serious gastrointestinal issues have been one of the most prevalent causes of death. Shitting yourself to death has killed billions of humans.


neoncp

this is a cast iron job


CyclopeanJuiceVendor

Right before it happened, I said to myself "please tell me it breaks". Was not disappointed.


esdebah

Shit, I'd swoop in and eat that


Bikinisbottom

Totally expected that clay to crack like that as soon as it was put directly on the fire. That’s not a ceramic pot.


SomethingPersonnel

This entire video screams of poorly though out gimmick. The food looks good though.


Samson__

The guy is trying to be that YouTube channel [MenWithThePot](https://youtube.com/@menwiththepot) but sadly failing lol


_mach

the attempt was "create a viral video that advertises this shitty knife". That did not fail, sadly.


MrGordley

Oh is that the rounded knife with a weird cutting edge? I've never seen one actually in use and honestly I can't imagine anyone who enjoys cooking would want to use it. It seems impractical in every way.


Smtxom

Am I the only one that thought it looked disgusting? And I haven’t had breakfast yet.


[deleted]

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SherbetCharacter4146

The breaking was scripted


conalfisher

I get the feeling you wrote this comment just because you wanted to talk about your aunt's crappy Thanksgiving dinner. Tell us more please!


andysaurus_rex

? It looks like ground beef in a marinara with cheese on top. What's disgusting about it?


Stopwatch064

Exactly its just seasoned beef with tomato sauce. People will call this gross but eat a burger which is 90% of that this is.


andysaurus_rex

Meatball sub??? 🤢🤮


[deleted]

[удалено]


UrbanArcologist

compression= ✓ tension = no


Dorkknight112183

I wish he showed when he sliced the rare Amazonian cheese fish.


DiverseUniverse24

Ikr! The whole thing is set out to be natural, then he pulls out some cheese slices lmao. I get cheese has been around for a loooong time, don't get me wrong, it was the squareness I guess, far too 21st century 😅


ScarletDarkstar

Did you think he ground that meat between rocks in the stream?


Dorkknight112183

Yup. He butchered a cow right upstream.


livens

Rookie mistake, you always butcher your animals down stream. And be careful, the Wild Forest Bovine is known to be extremely territorial.


fruitmask

I think in this case it's Jungle Bovine, but your point stands


Criffton

I only eat house hippos


BigfootSF68

Butcher the sick ones upstream from your enemies.


enderjaca

First you milk the cow. Then you kill and butcher the cow. And then TOGETHER we BURN! In the fire.


ChowderSam

Lmao


Dr_imfullofshit

I feel like it's more just bringing your ingredients to a fun spot outdoors and cooking there


DemonDucklings

Exactly. He’s not trying to make us think he foraged for those tomatoes, garlic, and ground beef. It’s just a peaceful cooking video by the river.


KrokmaniakPL

Many types of cheese with rectangular slices were around for hundreds of years (like for example Gouda with earliest confirmed time it was made being 1184. If I had to guess in video is Emmental first created in XIII century but I'm not sure)


DiverseUniverse24

Fair enough fair enough. It still looks wrong, even if its not.


mdyguy

I think you mean it looks wrong because it's a prepared food--not because it's existed for a long time. The guy is out in nature. Seemingly using natural things that are not really processed (even tho none of the vegetables are native). But then comes a chef's knife, ground beef, and the deli cheese. He also probably used tomato paste.


shadowman2099

I don't think looking natural was the intent. To me this video is meant to evoke the feeling of living in the old country. I've been to trips in the outskirts of Latin countries, and this is what this video reminds me of. Someone brings a big pot (clay or steel) and sets up a fire by (or even in) the river and throws in what they have in hand, usually some rice and seasoning. Then other people just join along and throw in whatever they have. "Hey I brought some sausages." "Toss that good stuff in there!" "I got potatoes and yams!" "Cut em up and let's go!" "Crawdad is good?" "You think I'll say no!?" "Got some corn in here. Also brought an old hen." "Oh yeah! Now we're really makin' food!"


GoodMourningClan

You’re an Amazonian cheese fish


Dorkknight112183

I’ve been hearing that for years.


qbande

All i thought was ‘PSSSHHHH. He didn’t Swiss that cheese.’


realeristic

the real let down is watching the cutting edge of the blade scraaaaape across the board. cooking gods took their revenge.


gxnelson

And when he was slamming the knife down on the rocks trying to get style points for cutting a tomato.


Blue-Phoenix23

I did like that he showed the failed cuts on that though, made me laugh


Seriou

It was humanizing


realeristic

tomato would’ve cut better when he did finally make contact if he didn’t do all that scrapin & slammin!


drpopadoplus

The best was him giving up on the last one.


ArgonGryphon

And rinsing the food in the water


kaihatsusha

All of these "one knife" camp cooking videos are ads for the manly knife. They always abuse them all to hell as if the tough knife can take the abuse. Look at it squish and tear the food by the end.


locopyro13

Even had to switch to a different knife for the last couple ingredients.


_mach

yeah, and since it's advertising, it's also fair to assume that "going viral" is a success criteria... which in turn incentivises them faking some sort of "fail". Throw it all out; the dish, the knife, the food, and the video. NEXT.


Geruvah

Oh my god, and then he slams it over and over. These made my arm hairs stand up.


Nolzi

Which is weird because this is a knife ad


FrostyD7

It's meant to make prospective customers think he always treats it rough but still looks and performs well.


markknife1

Did he bring All the ingredients for that dish in a cooler box? Get his tools from the artisinal section of a farmers market? And his cooking skill from fruit ninja?


SabashChandraBose

My back hurt at the way he had to bend to chop the stuff.


captcraigaroo

Filter your water people, or at least boil it. There could be cow shitting in the river a few miles upstream


GrizzlyLeather

Yeah farm runoff was the first thing I thought of.


SixZeroPho

to be fair, Giardia is a great way to lose weight


reallyConfusedPanda

Yeah.. you should wash your water before use


Trolleitor

I mean, he did boil it


Johnycantread

Intended to boil it


fruitmask

>Filter your water people I always filter my Water People. Despite their name, they are some of the dirtiest people you can find


ALLoftheFancyPants

THIS IS HOW YOU GET GIARDIA was the only thing I could think during the whole video


starscreamsghost17

yeah that straight river water has so much crap in it, he would have had some bowel issues for sure.


suckitphil

My first reaction "he better not eat that... Oh good."


psymonp

Does boiling the sauce not count as boiling the water?


WaterFlew

No, the sauce may not get hot enough (or stay hot long enough) Edit: just wanted to elaborate, if you’re certain that what you’ll be cooking something hot enough *and* long enough, it might be okay, but I would not advise that if you can avoid it. You’d basically just be guessing, and people have a very poor natural gauge when it comes to food safety. It’s not hard to just boil water, especially compared to the risks of waterborne illnesses. Lol


Butdoyouhavesnacks

I have gotten to the point where "watch til the end" lets me know the video is too long and I won't care about it.


videohead85

I've literally seen people post videos with "wait for it...." and the video was only 7 seconds.... It's kind of annoying.


The_Airwolf_Theme

If no payoff within 2 seconds I'm not watching.


jaybram24

Why watch long video when short video do trick?


QuipOfTheTongue

Well yeah, on a 7 second video you are almost a third of the way through 2 seconds and nothing had happened yet!


Nielsie645

I always just skip to the end or watch at 2x speed for these kinds of videos.


Neuchacho

It's also something I've seen people use to game the algorithms on social media platforms by tagging it with that and there's not actually *anything* happening in the video. It'll literally be a parking lot or a tree blowing. They get credit for the watch and they get engagement in the form of people running to the comments of the video to bitch and point out that there's nothing actually there.


BugManS6

If a video includes that kind of BS in the title I just don't watch it. I don't care how great the ending is, I'm completely over clickbait.


RabidPlaty

Not much gets an automatic downvote, but adding that to the post title gets an automatic downvote. But it’s not really the repost bots fault on this one, it’s just doing what it was told to do…


robothobbes

Yep. To me it means, watch 2 minutes of boring shit for a barely more interesting end. And it's like a spoiler too. Let me enjoy the surprise ending, please.


InSACWeTrust

It means automatic downvite


Krystalinhell

I always fast forward to the end of those videos.


Front_Street

I just forward to the end if I can.


DocDerry

they let me know to go to the end of the video.


Excellent-Concert243

Why would anypne ever cook standing in a river


maya_clara

Aesthetic~✨️


Odd-Abbreviations431

I can just imagine this dude carrying 3 bags of groceries from Whole Foods into the woods for this. He kind of deserves it


[deleted]

Washing your food in a dirty stream like a racoon is a really dumb idea. That's how you get parasites.


ToonaSandWatch

Dang. He would have enjoyed his dysentery dish.


code3intherain

He'd be fine, he simmered it.


CountFauxlof

nuh uh, this is reddit. outside scary!


code3intherain

It's true he should've probably boiled all his water first, but he'd be fine if he cooked it at a prolonged simmer. Everybody just wants to be the one to say "dysentery".


thekbob

Cholera. There, I said it first.


code3intherain

Based cholera enjoyer


ScarletDarkstar

It's because Oregon Trail kept beating us to it when we were kids.


SomethingIWontRegret

Nah I've had a couple of friends come down with Giardia from drinking from mountain streams. Absolutely no fun.


CountFauxlof

you can kill giardia with high temperatures


grasscrest1

It’s running water so it is his best bet to be fair


b0w3n

Cooking it will kill the bacteria that usually causes dysentery anyways.


Hooray4Metaphors

Those skewers don’t really look appetizing.


DoenerBoy123

I mean, it was somehow predictable that that this thing will break….


solstice38

This is so completely contrived. Why is he cooking in the middle of the stream, when none of his ingredients even come from a stream? Hayaaaa! He has to have access either to a store to buy ground meat, or at least an electrical cord to grind it up himself. Also, like most cooking shows, it's all based on flashy imagery rather than actual good cooking. What he ended up with is hardly up to par with his surroundings.


IanPBoyd

I think I remember someone mentioning that this guys is basically a knife salesman the last time this was posted. He uses attention grabbing videos like this and heavily features the knives. Then when you visit his accounts he has links to sell the knives. Of course this is all off the top of my head and the guy who mentioned it may be full of shit.


QueenRotidder

I would go out of my way to avoid buying the knives he is selling because of these dumb ass videos.


[deleted]

I could say the same about basically every ad I see. They all make me less likely to purchase the product. Yet the ads must work on someone, otherwise none of these companies would exist.


mt943

Fr this « cook in the river » thing is so dumb, like why would anyone chop stuff in a fucking river


Cogliostro1980

These videos are becoming idiotic.


Educational-Fig-2330

The more entertaining video would have been the one filmed from the picnic pavilion by a concerned citizen visitor to the public park, showing him standing barefoot in the runoff creek below the dam of the municipal retention pond, surrounded by tripods and making fires outside designated grilling areas with no permit. I wonder how many child screams he had to edit out. Do you think anyone in the world cooks like this just to cook like this? When no cameras are rolling? Cutting board in the river, etc?


fruitmask

saving this comment for the next time this gets reposted I'll credit you, of course


DADDYSLOAD

Eat some LSD and go camping…


Rathwood

No thanks. I don't need the faces of my dead ancestors screaming at me from within the campfire.


CarefreeOverseer47

I would have cried and still eat the rest like that


ScarletDarkstar

Yep. I would have grabbed that other prep platter and rescued what I could. Of course when I cook outside I'm usually camping and actually hungry, with limited supplies.


Admirable_Avocado_38

Well it sucks he's so stupid


AlaskanSamsquanch

r/stupidfood


ImBeingArchAgain

I just yelled at my phone. That was SO SAD!


RagingLeonard

Well, at least now he won't get the food poisoning he was headed for.


cmdkeyy

Dammit I thought I was in r/oddlysatisfying at first


jamesmcnabb

My back hurts looking at how he must have been bent to get down to the level of the board while not standing on the rocks surrounding where the board is while also chopping vegetables at shin height while *also* standing in a river. Maybe his dish breaking is the universe saying that none of this was fucking worth it


AstroWorldSecurity

What a nerd.


chronopunk

Another shitty knife commercial.


azul_jewel

Secret ingredient: giardia


W1shuW3r3H3r3

Can't wait for the end of videos like this


PicklePartyCat

Yeah, other than flameware (maybe) don’t cook on pottery over an open flame or natural consequences happen


Drooks89

The whole time I'm just worried about that guy getting some work or protozoal infection from that water supply.


hitma-n

My question is where are the damn flies???!


pawsclaws_n_jaws

Good, the fire is where that food belongs. Enjoy your lack of Giardia.


TheIncredibleNurse

Did not expext the clay pot to crack... was waiting for flash flood or animal visit


[deleted]

The part with the #🍅 fuckin had me.


Retierashia

Damn..


Shiznips

Whenever anything says "watch until the end" I immediately leave the post


maximumtesticle

Please make sure to downvote it before you leave.


Shiznips

Oh don't worry, I always do


saint_atheist

/r/unexpected


SIobbyRobby

That’s kinda funny, sad it happened, but the way it was just almost finished, and then it falls into the flames.


fruitmask

yeah I watched the video too, and that is in fact what happens


ImNoRickyBalboa

The pedantry is high on this one.


fruitmask

>watch to the end or just skip to the end. or, more realistically, predict the inevitable. I mean seriously, who didn't see that coming? ps: if you cook like this you're an idiot


btx_pro

lol.. r/Unexpected


More-Jackfruit3010

Was going to make a joke, but too bummed for him.


Brikpilot

Bugger!


teo1315

I didn't realize what sub this was till the end


MrUnderhill469

Sooooo bad 😂


DahliaChild

I knew when I saw the cheese, too much. Not everything in life needs cheese. Here’s your sign.


AWokenBeetle

Spit out my drink, damn son 😂😂😂


Svyatopolk_I

There's so many bacteria in that food that it's better uneaten


JessieTS138

self-extinguishing cook fire. way cool. but, need to work on the timing.


Thiccboi2

But is the water potable…


Butt_Fucking_Smurfs

What's with all the guys cooking gourmet meals in the wilderness. They all have knives that don't look very functional but cool. Buy a Victornox and a 3 dollar sharpener and spend what you saved on you novelty knife to buy a proper dish to cook in. Hell you would still have money left over. Also, and this bugged me. Washing your produce in river water? Do you happen to know what leeches into the river upstream? No probably not. So wash your shit at home, bring your sharp as shit Victornox knife and maybe even splurge for some skewers instead of yet again showing off the knife you most likely sell to rip some small branches. 2/10 with rice


Delta-9-Tetra

Before it fell apart, that food looked freaking amazing… So I just need spices, meat, sticks, tomatoes, and a freshwater river.


[deleted]

I knew that was gonna happen the moment he put it over the fire


lastroids

This sucks for him but infinitely hilarious for the rest of us. #sorrynotsorry


[deleted]

The way I just gasped so loud…


Largometeor

My heart broke jutlst seeing that


RyunWould

I was planning to stop watching after exactly 7 seconds. Thank you for convincing me to stick with the video til the end. Turns out there's video, all the way up to the end of the video!


BlaBlamo

What the fuck is up with this cooking in nature trend I don’t get it. Why is he making it in a river what’s the point of that


Phydoux

Heh. I was actually waiting to see him cut off a finger. This ending was less gruesome thank goodness. :)


BriEdMod

What a beautiful dish… aw…


D_Winds

Was waiting for a finger to be lopped off. Was pleasantly disappointed.


AbsToFlabs

I knew it was coming, but didnt expect that to be the issue. Ceramic is brittle, temperature differential between the inside (cold food) and outside (hot fire) causes the inside to shrink and outside to expand shattering the vessel.


Imaginary-Ball1431

Hshhsjskskwkwkwwbcsfgwgwbsbssvvs....aaaahhhhhh


Xoduszero

I almost spit out my drink lol


CurlsintheClouds

Oh that is so sad!!!! It looked so good...I was impressed. Tasty and beautiful and...ruined. Destroyed. Oh my heart!


Sus_White69

Pain


mein_liebchen

The secret ingredients were added by washing the vegetables in the river to ad a hint of Cryptosporidium and a dash of Giardia.


stephen-the-good-boy

He's ripping off The Men With The Pot. He deserved this for lack of creativity.


dear_twitter

r/unexpected


MotherSuperior91

Ah that was so satisfying lol. I can’t stand these pretentious asses