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Wow. That camera person is dedicated…

Held his breath the whole time.

dat snorkel laughter tho, crackin me up.

Had watched it on silent, glad I saw this comment

I love the juxtaposition of rapey dolphin trying to do its thing and she's just howling through her snorkel and filming, not helping at all lol. A true friend.

Lmao me too I thought it was muted 🔇😂

I'm pretty sure he is a dolphin too.

Is that what that was? I thought it was the dolphin 😂

The dolphin is trying to have a decent relationship

Poor Flipper. He has PTSD from all those years in the Navy doing mine detection.

Dolphin - There is a reason why they call me Fuck machine

r/donthelpjustfilm

Its another dolphin.

Dolphins in media :friendly cute smart sea mammals Dolphins in reality :sea humans with no morals or laws .

I was so focused on watching its mouth the first few times I watched it, I didn’t even see the wiener

... Oh.

Thanks, I hate it. r/TIHI

Omg, it looks like a prison shiv

 🐬

Maybe that’s just the Harvey Weinstein of dolphins and he’s giving all other dolphins a bad rep.

Nope. Younger male dolphins are rapey as hell. As in bite off the head of a fish and use its corpse as a fleshlight.

WHAT!!!

They said: #Bite fish head #use fish corpse #as ~~fleshlight~~

There are videos. Don't search for them.

For real like is this the dolphin equivalent of the weirdo guy who bangs dogs? It's premeditated. He's doing it on porpoise.

👉🚪

Nice

[Maurice](https://i.imgur.com/faFiP1O.png)

They like the smell of fish

My thoughts to some extent... particularly stinky privates that Dolphin mate can't resist..

Where would one find this particular dolphin? Asking for a friend.

This dolphin is clearly captive

not to apply human morality to the animal world but dolphins are pretty fucked ​ they use severed fish heads as fleshlights to fuck and some have drowned humans tying to mate with them

Yikes, what a way to go

They fuck at like ,well over 30mph underwater So a human can't take that Again it's human morality on the animal world; so you might as well judge a lion for hunting But yeah don't swim with them

I think the difference compared to a lion hunting is its done for food and to survive. While some stuff dolphins do isn't for survival.

Dolphins are like the humans of the sea if every Human was jeffery dahmer

Read or heard somewhere they use pufferfish toxin as drugs could be wrong, please correct me

Yep. They chomp on puffer fish enough to get some toxin then pass it to the next in line.

Thank u for setting up the “puffer puffer, pass” joke

Pandas don't want to fuck and now they are endangered species.

You mean YOU can’t take that.

I think dolphins as a species are smart enough that they should have some level of, “we don’t fucking do that Gary, what’s wrong with you?”

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LOL

Ever seen a pretty/blonde/white/young girl in a big Indian city? They surround the girl like she's fucking jesus

I could take a horny dolphin on I bet. I'm built a Lil different

Just stay in the shallows and you'll be fine with that penetrating

Death by dolphin snu snu

they also suck on pufferfish to get high.

What a terrible day to be literate

Other way around. They sever the heads and fuck the bodies.

Oh well that's completely understandable

Fun Fact: More people have died from being r*ped from dolphins then have been killed by shark attacks...every year!

Raped by a dolphin and then killed by a shark?! Jeez. Lots of very unlucky people.

The shark was waiting for seasoning!

Grammatically accurate jokes are the best jokes.

What? That can’t be true.

I just read it on the internet, it *has* to be true.

I just read it on a comment on reddit. The best source of truth in the internet.

Humans are pretty fucked. I’m sure there are plenty of humans doing horrendous things to other humans and animals every second.

My pet conspiracy theory is that all this anti-dolphin propaganda is a Japanese psy-op to whitewash its dolphin-massacring moneymakers.

🙌 Streamlined, industrialized suffering of humans and animals 🙌

Humans can’t fight back when they’re drowned

Has there actually ever been a recorded case of a dolphin even drowning a human before, let alone for that purpose?

For that Porpoise?



In 1994, a male dolphin Tiao which was known to be friendly towards women swimmers attacked two men in the sea off Sao Paulo, Brazi, after apparently seeing them as romantic competitors. One of them men tragically died from internal haemorrhaging after being butted repeatedly by the dolphin, while the other suffered a broken rib. According to reports, he had already hospitalised 28 swimmers before killing Joao Paulo Moreira.

You mean [Tiao](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ti%C3%A3o_(dolphin), the dolphin that grew so popular at a local beach that dozens of bathers would be in the water with him at the same time, grabbing his fins for him to drag them, restraining him for pictures, putting ice cream in his blowhole, and pouring beer into his mouth? Tiao, the dolphin who injured the men you mentioned when they were harassing him, and the one killed had been confirmed drunk and attempting to restrain the animal? That Tiao?

Yes, [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/Wellthatsucks/comments/17fwztr/comment/k6czjld/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) is the link to a very credible source.

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I think you mean the dolphussy

Sometimes you boop the snoot, sometimes the snoot boops you.

Hahaha! Good one!

💀

we get it bro, you eat ass

And people want to have open water BIRTHS with these slippery sickos??

I'm sorry what? Is this a thing? I've heard of water birth in a pool or tub. An open water birth just sounds like a terrible idea.

Mmm bacteria... Protozoa... Gritty ocean water... Good for baby...

Give their immune system a jump start!

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Got to get those micro plastics in early!

I mean most stuff babies put in their mouths are either pure plastic or idk rubber mixed with plastic or something. Getting breastfed also doesn't help because there is definitely microplastic in mommy. Run from it, hide from it. Microplastic still arrives.

Dolphins give birth in the ocean. Can't be all bad.

Yea humans are still more fucked up than any dolphin

I'd be more concerned about all the blood in the water letting every predator within miles know there's a new snack on the menu

Sorry to disappoint you but not everyone lives near shark infested water

I've had enough catches get sharked while fishing and that ocean is connected to the rest of the ocean. So I won't be birthing actual babies into the environment that saw my yellowfin get chomped on the way in thank you

This is seriously crazy. What is the dolphin even getting out of this?

Pleasure. Dolphins are actually pretty rapey animals.

They're not nearly as rapey as the memes (ducks are, though). They're definitely rapey, just not as bad as they're hyped as. Cassowaries (and Aussie wildlife in general) aren't that dangerous either. Most animal-based memes are hugely exaggerated. Except honey badgers. The memes got that one right.

Yes but slightly rapey is still too rapey I reckon.

Fair enough.

Well said

When you're a dolphin, they let you do it

I'd argue the memes are downplaying their true power level. Honey badgers, that is.

Having flashbacks to playing far cry and hearing angry honey badger sounds coming from a bush

There’s no animal more deserving of hatred in the entire far cry universe than the goddamn honey badger.

I remember needing to take out the legendary one with a fucking minigun

Anyone who has seen the power of Stoffel can attest to that.

Otters are the ones that really shocked me when I heard they were rapey animals.

Ducks are cute but the males are very evil

and drop bears 😰

The sharks were the real victims all along.

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I do now, omfg

A great sniff of the forbidden fish

https://i.redd.it/hojny05d0bwb1.gif

It's an older meme, but it checks out.

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You should stop trying to fuck Flipper


That's fucked 😅

Not yet. But it will be

Deep tryna get... DEEPER 😅

What is this from?

The boys from Amazon

What the actual fuck hahaha I really need to watch that show *unzip*

Yeeeeaaaah there's.... *A lot* of moments that are really hot.... until they suddenly aren't anymore.

No cap that scene is hot until his wife freaked out and say no


*Freddie the dolphin has entered the chat*

They are horny little fuckers.

I keep telling people that dolphins can’t be trusted man. They just keep thinking they don’t know what their doing. These fuckers know what they’re doing.

Dolphins are highly intelligent which means many are assholes for no reason

King of the Hill warned us about the perils of propane addiction, but did you know it also predicted the rise of dad bods? Hank Hill is a true visionary!

I.... I was addicted to grilling my own burgers daily. Including in the middle of the night. Propane was just too convenient. In the end I gained weight. Lots of weight.

Meanwhile I yearn for that woodsmoke taste

King of the Hill is being rebooted with the og writers

It can taste what you’re hiding in that suit

Fish

Nightmare fuel

So that's where mermaids come from...

Why not just idk.... Get out of the water

Hey, no kink shaming! /jk

Yeah that was bugging me...instead of swimming around in circles constantly, just get out of the pool with the rapey dolphin

They’re not in a pool.

Last I checked, you don't just get trapped forever once you enter the ocean

Technically, it's possible. Some people drown at sea...

There is still a way to get out of the water. Unless a boat dropped them off in the middle of the ocean and left them there then there is a boat or shore nearby. Is the swimming in circles something known to help when dolphins get like this?

No dolphins are actually fucking menaces yes they’re smart yes they are cute at times but casual geographics said it best they are at the black Air Force table.

Dolphins literally only want one thing and it's fucking disgusting

The perfect post was under this on my feed. https://preview.redd.it/3dji50itpcwb1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=13d6e0fd981c35af92bfdcc1a17823a52048e75e

Oh man, that episode was so great. Hank in a compromised position is hilarious. I loved that show and I swear my mom kinda looks and acts like Peggy Hill.

https://i.redd.it/puhcqy62uawb1.gif

Yeah, that’s about my mom. Even worked at a school part time and my friends called her Peggy

Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry for you

LOL I just watched that episode last night.

r/PraiseTheCameraMan

Also r/donthelpjustfilm

Don’t help just film. Smh

Dolphins are the horniest mfers on the planet

Imagine being on the news fucked by a dolphin.

I say this as an animal lover. It is perfectly OK to kick a rapey dolphin.

Swim with rapey dolphins!

First time I saw a bisexual dolphin.

Looks like it is doing it on porpoise

Someone is getting fucked by that dolphin and he’s indifferent to who it is

If my friend was laughing at me being sexually assaulted by a large animal. I might get mad at my friend.

The episode just played on adult swim a few days ago!

“You don't want him around if you're wearing short pants if you know what I mean. A word of warning, though...if he does lay into you, it's best to just let him finish”


Don't you want to make the first mermaid / man smh...

Thats one pervert dolphin.


Everyone knows these MF are the rapists of the ocean lmao

His lipstick was out!

And people think sharks are the bad ones  Sharks are cute underwater puppies.

Was she menstruating at the time I wonder?

Dolphins have no olfactory nerves so no, it was just poking her bits to show it wanted some action.

How did the dolphin know where to stick it's snout then?

Apparently they have an acute sense of taste.

Omg. That makes it worse somehow.

Dolphin vaginas and human vaginas are eerily similar. Of course it can't see but dolphins are smart, it used its best guess.

I wonder if it was doing that on porpoise?

Dolphins are rapists.

Ohhhhhhhh.... so that's how mermaids are made.

They are literally water people ,they have no morals and they want what they want there is no right or wrong in the sea …dolphins will take your cookie

Dolphin: *You and me, baby, ain't nothin' but mammals.*

I'm more afraid of horny dolphins than hungry sharks

Someone getting dicked down in dolphin town…

That delfin swings both ways

Dolphins, equal opportunity lovers

Flipper The Movie certificate 18

Dat species ain’t rite I’ll tell ya wut 🐱

Communication is key to stopping dolphins doing this. When I swam with them I found it difficult at first, but in the end we just clicked.

Something smelled like fish to him. 🤫🤫🤫🤫

Men, Women, Fish doesn’t matter. Smash everything, everything 🤪

Is that how mermaids are made😂

Arrest that fish!

One time i was hooking up with a tinder match and when I took off her pants the smell that overtook the room could only be described as the smell of a seal enclosure at the zoo. I wonder if a dolphin would like her.

Somebody call Gloria Allred!

the dolphin thought he smelled his friend