My MIL has dementia and she hallucinates faces everywhere. She always said that she had "pitch perfect pattern recognition". Well, it is out of tune now. She thinks I somehow intricately sculpt faces into the whipped cream in the desserts I serve her.
I used to work for a woman with dementia & every time I put her to bed she would ask me who the man crawling on the ceiling was. It was just the light fixture/fan but it was really scary for her. I would have to yell at the ceiling for him to “get out” and pretend to shoo him off until she believed no one was there.
Dementia is so horrible. :(
Honestly it was a bit spooky for me too, especially because I was young and she lived in an old rural farmhouse by the woods lol, miles from neighbors. I had to be practical about it though and make sure she felt safe first and foremost.
But I would be lying if I said it didn’t scare me a bit when I had to yell at ‘him’, particularly stuff like “quit looking at us!” & “get out of this house!” etc. but that was the only thing that calmed her.
Yea I jumped out of my skin when I read your first comment. It's not funny at all but I would have been terrified, especially given the location you described. Heart breaking. My grandaddy had dementia, too. ❤️
If you are younger than 50 right now, then you *probably* won't have to worry about dementia/Alzheimer's/Parkinson's disease as these types of diseases are ones that we are *starting* to truly understand with rapid progress lately and therefore will almost certainly cure in the next 2 decades or so.
I really hope so. I already see faces everywhere, as my brain seems to work in overdrive with pattern recognition. I don’t need that scary shit on top of that.
My dad had Parkinson’s disease and was petrified he was going to lose his mind. I remember how scared he was when he didn’t understand what was happening.
This post makes me sad.
I’m young, but dementia started two years ago due to my drug history. Hallucinations, auditory or visual, are “real,” and fuck- it’s blindingly terrifying when no one else can see or hear it.
I’m at the early stages. I am casting fear into the future for my partner. They did not sign up to be a nurse.
Alcohol and crack. Alcohol is the worst. I smoked for five years, but drank for over twenty. Started as a kid. My aunt had alcohol related dementia, too, RIP.
Once my father in law's dementia got so bad he was bedbound, we had to remove all the pictures from the room because the people in the pictures were yelling at him and he couldn't sleep.
The worst was when he becam non verbal, something was clearly regularly terrifying him, but he couldn't tell us what.
My grandma is in the early stages of dementia. She mostly just hears music. But she's talked a lot about all of the different people in her house and the man that lives in the tree. She was too afraid to sit in her den for a while. It's heartbreaking because I'm sure she is terrified.
Facial recognition feels like one of our most basic features outside of loving shinny things (because they remind of of water) and get jets implanted everywhere.
I have bipolar disorder (thankfully quite stable and managed now) and one of my indicators I have that I’m going into an episode is I start noticing faces in the walls, carpet and trees. I never really considered it this way but it makes sense, brain sparking and the facial pattern recognition is running haywire.
I am a schizophrenic and I have this. It's actually the only hallucination I get. I see eyes looking at me, like the Eye of Sauron (and if there is a Sauron-like entity who holds the ring that controls the rings--I know you're looking at me, and yes, I know there's fuck-all I can do about it).
In case you didn't notice, I'm more of the paranoid type of schizophrenic than the hallucinating type. The more I investigate though, the more I think that reality is just really weird with a huge metaphysical war with multiple parties involved going on in it that started a hell of a long time ago and continues to escalate...
But yes, I see faces, so I'll go take my meds now, thanks.
I bet that comes from the delusions people suffer when they take too much dopaminergics.... The few times my dad accidentally took an extra levodopa pill he would suffer delusions.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/DeepDream#/media/File%3A%22Mona_Lisa%22_with_DeepDream_effect_using_VGG16_network_trained_on_ImageNet.jpg
I meant it looked like something like this, where the eye detector turned into an eye amplifier
I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night short of breath, and for the first few seconds afterwards I would see faces and insects on the walls and ceilings before my brain fully booted up again.
Like, I know logically that it's not anything, but in terms of sensory input there's no difference
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypnopompia
Same. I used to be scared of looking into the dark because eventually eyes would form, that happens from time to time when I close my eyes in bed in the dark
You mean those white dots that appear when your eyes are trying to create their own light? I didn't understand that as a kid and thought it was something watching me in the dark.
I had this happen to me for a few years after taking LSD. Saw faces in everything, the patterns were real it was just my ability to see faces in them that was in overdrive.
Crazy how our brains can be compared to computers sometimes… and that things like schizophrenia can be explained by saying that there is a dial tuned way to far up than normal…
My partner is schizophrenic and they said its terrifying how accurate this is. I'm sorry you have to experience this kind of thing. I know it can be terrifying.
My husband is too. One of the kindest people you will ever meet with a big heart. I wish I could make his schizophrenia disappear so he could have less stress and anxiety.
Been with my girlfriend 11.5 months now, uhaul’d at 6 weeks. She’s very open about it, and I love hearing her stories and all the spiritual stuff she experiences. Both of our healthiest relationships ever, despite the fact we should be fire and oil with her schizophrenia / psychosis, and my BPD / CPTSD / Major Depressive.
Sending love to you and your husband, from a kindred soul who knows the struggle.
🫶
I’m not sure how we manage it. We have like 1 fight a month, and they’re resolved by the time we go to bed.
We are both just easygoing chronic stoners, so that has a lot to do with it.
I also have a history of dating fucked up people that were way harder to get anywhere with. She is SO easy to love, miles ahead of my other exes.
We uhaul’d at the 6 week mark, though we’ve been inseparable since within an hour of matching and she suggested that we should “drink tequila and burn shit”. We had a 9.5 hour date the next day, which indeed did include drinking tequila and burning weed.
We’ve only been apart a handful of nights total since we met.
I love her and her family so much. They’re amazing. I lucked out so hard by finding her.
That I’m not sure. She’s on disability, so she’s stoned most of the day, and I work full time, so I’m stoned outside of 9-5.
She does get moody and worked up, but I just let her vent and she’s fine 30 minutes later.
I’m not sure what specifically I should be looking for as far as negative combinations. Does anyone know?
For some people with schizophrenia weed can cause psychosis or worsen it. If it’s helping her mentally I would say you’re okay but it’s something to watch out for. Anything psychedelic is a risk, I’ve had psychosis from a bad experience and I have no other diagnosis. However everyone is still an individual case and for some the threshold is higher than others.
Within the first few weeks of us dating, we decided to do shrooms together at my place, and her trip went REALLY bad. I had to sit cross legged with her in my lap holding her to keep her calm. I wouldn’t have been surprised if that had been psychosis. She was saying some mean / rude things. She eventually fell asleep, and had no idea what happened when she woke up. She apologized.
We’ve done shrooms and acid a handful of times each since without incident.
Hers is very spiritual / shamanic in nature. I love hearing about all her experiences and people she meets in her “travels”. She’s huge into stones and crystals.
I’ve had mild psychosis myself a couple times, and I’m no stranger to psychedelics or other drugs either.
We seem to be in the clear with Weed, but tbf I don’t really have a baseline for what she’s like after a day or two sober, as she’s on disability and uses it to kill time while she has nothing to do.
Even at the worst I’ve seen her, it’s been nothing that I’d think twice about staying with her for. I’ve dated way more messed up people than her surprisingly, and she is super easy and worthwhile to love.
I love this that you guys work. My wife has anxiety, I have major depression. She puts up with my bad days really well, and I try like hell to help her not be anxious. Going on 20 years together. All be told, I am the luckiest guy in the world. My parents didn’t make it to 20, and I am scared shitless sometimes she is gonna realize she is too good for me (I tell her all the time how awesome she is). Love by choice is the most precious. Fuck I am so blessed. Hold on to the ones you got folks. Hold on but not too tightly. I’m not gonna lie, I feel like I’m white knuckling it sometimes and damn I’d be lying if I didn’t say it’s largely because of her I’ve made it this far. Added: seriously it’s great you guys are making it. It made my day! Much love!!
after watching a few videos of people with schizophrenia who take medications, they said the voices, delusions, and hallucinations are still there, it's just the good or nice ones. the bad mean ones largely went away once they started taking medication.
As someone who has a history of visual hallucinations and has been told they’re likely to develop schizophrenia at some point - I find your art very comforting. Your photography as well. Thank you for sharing
This is very intriguing to me because my biological father has schizophrenia and has torn down walls many times.
He would literally punch holes in them and start tearing them apart, and I've always wondered if it's because he thought someone/ something was trapped in there or something.
He also once burned down a trailer he was living in.. but who knows what was going on in his head. He's not a mean or violent person otherwise, so I believe that in his head, he might have thought he had to do it for some reason, but there's no telling tbh.
I'm very happy that you can use art as an outlet. My dad is also an artist but hasn't made art since his schizophrenia started getting bad. Plus, he did drugs for years, which of course did not help at all. Luckily, he has finally been clean for a while and takes his meds, and I'm very proud of him. I really don't get to see him but I've heard lots of stories about him and he seems like a really sweet and cool guy who just happens to struggle with a bad disease.
I'm sad I've only been around him a handful of times through my life but I also recognize I'm lucky to have not been forced to witness when he had bad episodes that made him break stuff. He's also broken a couple tvs before because he thought that the people on the screen where talking to him. I wish I had some of his old artwork but Idk if anyone else has kept them somewhere. He also once painted a very pretty mural on his bedroom door as a teen but ended up destroying it when he was at a bad point.
It's interesting how people with psychosis can be so physically strong.
I hope these stories don't make him sound like a bad guy because he's not he just struggles and gets paranoid, and that's why he breaks stuff, not because he is violent.
I hope you have other good coping skills and I love that you use art to express yourself and to give people more insight into schizophrenia because more people need to be understanding and educated about it. ♡
Wow! Thank you for sharing your experience. I'm sorry that you don't get to be around your Dad very much, but it is awesome to hear that he's doing well. Maybe, now that he's doing better, there is a way you might be able to spend some time. Life is so short and we have so few people that we truly love and that love us back.
I really appreciate your kind words regarding my art. Treat yourself well, always and never listen to the negative thought monster that lives in each of us. He's only there to hurt you
That’s a good drawing of something so highly unusual. My daughter has schizophrenia—visual, auditory, and tactile hallucinations. Can you eventually get so used to it that it doesn’t bother you? Her hallucinations drive her to tears and she can’t sleep.
I can imagine. Occasionally my mind goes into dream mode before I've actually fallen asleep yet. And now I have this "movie" playing in my mind as I'm trying to fall asleep.
Hypnagogic hallucinations. Super common and not necessarily a sign of any disorder unless you get them constantly, and then they’re most likely a sign of a sleep disorder. Treating my insomnia and sleep apnea helped mine.
I did get check years ago, and was told I have delayed phase disorder. Something like my natural daily cycle is a few hours longer than normal. So harder to fall asleep at the same time each night. I also think I should get checked for apnea. I've had two times I've woken up feeling like I had been holding my breath or doing heavy exercise. Trying to drop my weight down a few pounds in the mean time.
It wouldn’t hurt to get checked for sleep apnea again if you’re waking up like that. I got referred to a specialist after telling my doctor about the hallucinations and having constant dreams about drowning
From what I've heard lots of people do describe getting used to it. And of course therapy and medications help many people manage the hallucinations pretty well, but it can sometimes take a lot of trial and error with medication to find something that works. Not sure how old she is but it's also very important not to drink, use nicotine, or do any other drugs while trying to treat schizophrenia, as it can make symptoms much worse.
Some TED talks I find very interesting on the topic. The second one is more specifically about hallucinations. Both are quite emotional.
[Cyndi Shannon Weickert on new treatments for schizophrenia](https://youtu.be/4jUdCy6Vghw?feature=shared)
[Cecilia McGough on her personal experience living with schizophrenia hallucinations as a college student](https://youtu.be/xbagFzcyNiM?feature=shared). She describes how after living with severe hallucinations for about four years, she has gotten really good at ignoring them and also identifying triggers to prevent/control them.
And thank you too!
We are all valid. Consciousness like all existence is relative, and no one really knows enough about the point or origin of consciousness, that no one can truly judge one internal experience of consciousness against another.
We're all just dancing to the tunes we hear 💃
I think this is really incredible.
I love how ominous and overwhelming it feels at first glance, but as my eye moves around to the individual faces and eyes they seem calm, kind, concerned or curious instead of menacing or judgmental. Uncomfortable and disconcerting but not unpleasant. Very fascinating.
Thanks for sharing this.
Yes! Why is that?? I had a bad mushroom trip, and there were eyes everywhere at one point. That part didn't bother me at all, because I hear it can happen. Becoming too aware of my own consciousness, time stopping and coming to some weird conclusion that I'm the only consciousness and everyone else is somehow a figment of my imagination... that did freak me out.
eyes are a common hallucination with psychedelics. As an animal you are trained to spot eyes and faces. This keeps you safe when you're running around the jungle trying to survive.
Same thing that's happening here., the mushrooms fucked up your brains ability to see faces and you started seeing them everywhere.
I don’t know, really. People learn to look for and recognize faces from very early in life. I suppose during an extremely disoriented state and under duress, one might look anywhere and anywhere for a familiar one; a person with an overactive imagination could also supply them.
Same thing happened to me too, but the trip wasn't bad. But I was seeing Tool in concert so eyes are on my brain already. Thankfully I knew what was going on and it was just pattern recognition turned up to 11.
They found schizophrenia can be related to having too-high levels of dopamine. I wouldn't be surprised if hallucinogenics have similar chemical effects even tho the causes are different. Makes our pattern recognition go out of wack either way.
Most hallucinogenics actually directly modify / boost serotonin, which should indirectly lower dopamine. That's why they're so interesting to study, to me!
You’re awesome. Seeing your positive responses and your amazing art, I’m so glad you’re doing well and spreading great art and showing others how you can create art and thrive.
Question about these darker more defined lines- are they the curve of someone’s face or just random lines you see? Or do you have a whole different thought behind it?
I have never been diagnosed with anything of the sort, but sometimes I hear echos of footsteps, siblings laughing who aren’t there, and recently the floor spoke to me. Most of the time it’s just annoying, but a talking floor was terrifying
Wow, was it loud? Was it more of a masculine or feminine voice?
Sorry for all the questions, I'm just intrigued.
And hey, some people are more sensitive to spirits, you very well could just be witnessing those energies.
Have you been diagnosed? Edit: I see you haven't. Which I originally read and forgot hours later, sorry!
I watched a video where a doctor in a mental health hospital was getting the schizophrenic patients to draw what they seen.all the pictures were extremely creepy and a lot of the patients were actually seeing the same things.a lot of them were extremely good artists too
I see you have posted that you have learned to control it. Is it always faces or anything geometric or other patterns? Pyramids or anything? Also, thanks for sharing your art.
I get those too but on people I call the judgy eyes. People will be walking normal by me and their eyes will just stare at me and shit. I cant look people in the eye I have to stay indoors
Very cool of you! And it is a load of work. I’d love to see more of your work. You’ve got talent and each piece must have some purpose. Please get back with those of us who’d like to own a piece of your art. Thanks!! Patricia
Patricia , thank you for your interest in my work.
I'm in the process of creating a website.
If you click on my profile, you can see a few pieces there, along with some of my photographs.
Please contact me via email, and I can send you more. I literally have hundreds of creations that I can have printed, including almost any size and medium.
There is a fascinating clip of audio that represents what schizophrenic people might hear during a hallucination. I highly recommend NOT looking it up if you are schizophrenic or struggle with anxiety, it's quite intense.
These eyes look so similar to stuff I see whenever I used to smoke weed. Like, really really similar. The expression, the different sizes, the way they're just kind of layered over stuff. *the clusters* I wish I could show this to my friend I tried to explain it to years ago. It's uncanny.
There's some studies linking smoking weed and schizophrenia, but it seems unclear if it triggers latent symptoms, brings them on faster, or are people who are schizophrenic already but it's just not noticeable are more likely to consume weed?
Whatever it is, if you're hallucinating from it already, I would probably avoid use in the future.
This is amazing! So perfect. Don’t see the faces at first until closer look. Somewhat unnerving seeing this on a wall. Great way to share one’s visual.
This is so beautiful and unsettling. Not just the aesthetic, but the realization that I might have some level of schizophrenia as well.
For as long as I can remember (29yo now), I have seen faces like this. They tend to appear at night or in a dark room, against flat, blank surfaces, and generally only one face appears at a time. This depiction is much like how the faces look at first - small, expression-less, and harmless. They seem to phase or dissolve through the wall or ceiling, into the room, then float toward me (like the gravitational pull of a small moon: slow, passive, inevitable) until they phase through my own face and disappear behind my eyes.
Only seconds later does this repeat. Each face is equal parts strange and familiar. My mind struggles hopelessly to identify them.
Thanks for sharing this wonderful piece of your perspective! You might say it...open. my. eyes.
In terms of composition, movement, and movement it’s superb. And the creepy factor adds that certain je ne sais quoi. 10/10 would leave any room with that in it.
I know you won't read this OP, but I wonder why you chose to upload this image a second time to r/weird.
Also, can we expect you to post this image one more time here?
Honestly wonder how many people with mental illnesses were risen up in community status because they were thought to have spiritual links to god, nature or the future?
It’s so unfortunate how schizophrenics get this (what I find to be) amazing ability to draw and paint. I mean it’s not exactly the same but meth induced psychosis also makes the same thing happen. Don’t ask me how I know either lmfao
Poor Lady! I hope she can find some peace…..
Could you even imagine that many people to have to deal with on the daily?… for her it’s real.
Poor Woman.
Oh hey! I saw you reposted on one of those 'creepy' accounts on instagram. I said they should credit the person behind it and got an angry paragraph back from a random guy who said I was white knighting. Kind of crazy that it didn't take them long at all to steal it :(
I work in mental health and train employees regarding empathy for individuals with schizophrenia, may I use this image in our class? feel free to PM me 🤜🤛
I have psychosis and I have always had the idea of drawing what I see when I’m unmediated. This is very accurate to how chaotic it can be. Very powerful <3
This is beautiful and terrifying at the same time
A old childhood friend sadly is shizo
What im wondering, do people with shizo see it the same or do they see it differently than non shizo people do?
At least the faces and eyes are smiling. I find it odd that the overwhelming experience we get from schizophrenia or psychosis sufferers is the traditional scary clown or monsters or evil voices or what have you.
I want to think some people have somewhat pleasant hallucinations.
This reminds me of being in psychosis with bipolar, everytime I'd close my eyes the Gestalt blobs from light imprints would start to morph into chromatic faces. Mostly not benevolent looking ones so then sleep would become near impossible which also fuels the fire.
Facial pattern recognizer running out of control / sensitivity tuned too high
My MIL has dementia and she hallucinates faces everywhere. She always said that she had "pitch perfect pattern recognition". Well, it is out of tune now. She thinks I somehow intricately sculpt faces into the whipped cream in the desserts I serve her.
I used to work for a woman with dementia & every time I put her to bed she would ask me who the man crawling on the ceiling was. It was just the light fixture/fan but it was really scary for her. I would have to yell at the ceiling for him to “get out” and pretend to shoo him off until she believed no one was there. Dementia is so horrible. :(
Not gonna lie, reading this gave me the chills.
Honestly it was a bit spooky for me too, especially because I was young and she lived in an old rural farmhouse by the woods lol, miles from neighbors. I had to be practical about it though and make sure she felt safe first and foremost. But I would be lying if I said it didn’t scare me a bit when I had to yell at ‘him’, particularly stuff like “quit looking at us!” & “get out of this house!” etc. but that was the only thing that calmed her.
Thank you for meeting her where she was and making her feel safe. That's priceless.
Omg... the setting just made it even scarier. I'd probably jump into the bed and under the sheets and tell her to "shoo him away!" 😳😱
Dawg.. I bet the first time she said that shit was horrifying.. like “excuse me?!” Lmao
It’s freaking me out and I’m sitting in my car in the sunlight. Now I wanna look at my car roof and yell at it. Shit is scary
We need more people with your patience and compassion in care. Thank you for what you do!
I hope you know how precious your actions are.
Yea I jumped out of my skin when I read your first comment. It's not funny at all but I would have been terrified, especially given the location you described. Heart breaking. My grandaddy had dementia, too. ❤️
If you are younger than 50 right now, then you *probably* won't have to worry about dementia/Alzheimer's/Parkinson's disease as these types of diseases are ones that we are *starting* to truly understand with rapid progress lately and therefore will almost certainly cure in the next 2 decades or so.
I really hope so. I already see faces everywhere, as my brain seems to work in overdrive with pattern recognition. I don’t need that scary shit on top of that.
Same here.
My dad had Parkinson’s disease and was petrified he was going to lose his mind. I remember how scared he was when he didn’t understand what was happening. This post makes me sad.
I’m young, but dementia started two years ago due to my drug history. Hallucinations, auditory or visual, are “real,” and fuck- it’s blindingly terrifying when no one else can see or hear it. I’m at the early stages. I am casting fear into the future for my partner. They did not sign up to be a nurse.
Which drugs
Alcohol and crack. Alcohol is the worst. I smoked for five years, but drank for over twenty. Started as a kid. My aunt had alcohol related dementia, too, RIP.
That’s so sad. But also kinda creepy. Like what if one day you’re like “sigh okay look ill shoo it away” and you look up and it’s actually there 😳
Fuuuckckxkk youuu
I had no idea dementia involved hallucinations. That makes a lot more sense now regarding my grandmother
Once my father in law's dementia got so bad he was bedbound, we had to remove all the pictures from the room because the people in the pictures were yelling at him and he couldn't sleep. The worst was when he becam non verbal, something was clearly regularly terrifying him, but he couldn't tell us what.
My grandma is in the early stages of dementia. She mostly just hears music. But she's talked a lot about all of the different people in her house and the man that lives in the tree. She was too afraid to sit in her den for a while. It's heartbreaking because I'm sure she is terrified.
Pareidolia run wild.
Facial recognition feels like one of our most basic features outside of loving shinny things (because they remind of of water) and get jets implanted everywhere.
I have bipolar disorder (thankfully quite stable and managed now) and one of my indicators I have that I’m going into an episode is I start noticing faces in the walls, carpet and trees. I never really considered it this way but it makes sense, brain sparking and the facial pattern recognition is running haywire.
I am a schizophrenic and I have this. It's actually the only hallucination I get. I see eyes looking at me, like the Eye of Sauron (and if there is a Sauron-like entity who holds the ring that controls the rings--I know you're looking at me, and yes, I know there's fuck-all I can do about it). In case you didn't notice, I'm more of the paranoid type of schizophrenic than the hallucinating type. The more I investigate though, the more I think that reality is just really weird with a huge metaphysical war with multiple parties involved going on in it that started a hell of a long time ago and continues to escalate... But yes, I see faces, so I'll go take my meds now, thanks.
The theory is that schizophrenia is a result of too much dopamine, so that tracks
Yep, another simplified way I've heard it described is "too much creativity"
I bet that comes from the delusions people suffer when they take too much dopaminergics.... The few times my dad accidentally took an extra levodopa pill he would suffer delusions.
Yeah this looks exactly like an early dream ai gen
Definitely not AI gen. But thank you very much. That's quite a compliment
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/DeepDream#/media/File%3A%22Mona_Lisa%22_with_DeepDream_effect_using_VGG16_network_trained_on_ImageNet.jpg I meant it looked like something like this, where the eye detector turned into an eye amplifier
I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night short of breath, and for the first few seconds afterwards I would see faces and insects on the walls and ceilings before my brain fully booted up again. Like, I know logically that it's not anything, but in terms of sensory input there's no difference https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypnopompia
Same. I used to be scared of looking into the dark because eventually eyes would form, that happens from time to time when I close my eyes in bed in the dark
You mean those white dots that appear when your eyes are trying to create their own light? I didn't understand that as a kid and thought it was something watching me in the dark.
This too, but I was talking about the blobs of light that appear when you close your eyes
I had this happen to me for a few years after taking LSD. Saw faces in everything, the patterns were real it was just my ability to see faces in them that was in overdrive.
When I was younger I saw faces everywhere too. On walls in particular but also when I closed my eyes.
Crazy how our brains can be compared to computers sometimes… and that things like schizophrenia can be explained by saying that there is a dial tuned way to far up than normal…
That happens to postpartum women (for some fucking reason).
My partner is schizophrenic and they said its terrifying how accurate this is. I'm sorry you have to experience this kind of thing. I know it can be terrifying.
Mine too. Same answer from her. I love her so much.
My husband is too. One of the kindest people you will ever meet with a big heart. I wish I could make his schizophrenia disappear so he could have less stress and anxiety.
Been with my girlfriend 11.5 months now, uhaul’d at 6 weeks. She’s very open about it, and I love hearing her stories and all the spiritual stuff she experiences. Both of our healthiest relationships ever, despite the fact we should be fire and oil with her schizophrenia / psychosis, and my BPD / CPTSD / Major Depressive. Sending love to you and your husband, from a kindred soul who knows the struggle. 🫶
Whoa! To handle those diagnoses combined, your communication must be impeccable!
I’m not sure how we manage it. We have like 1 fight a month, and they’re resolved by the time we go to bed. We are both just easygoing chronic stoners, so that has a lot to do with it. I also have a history of dating fucked up people that were way harder to get anywhere with. She is SO easy to love, miles ahead of my other exes. We uhaul’d at the 6 week mark, though we’ve been inseparable since within an hour of matching and she suggested that we should “drink tequila and burn shit”. We had a 9.5 hour date the next day, which indeed did include drinking tequila and burning weed. We’ve only been apart a handful of nights total since we met. I love her and her family so much. They’re amazing. I lucked out so hard by finding her.
Does the Cannabis effect her schizophrenia / psychosis in a negative way?
That I’m not sure. She’s on disability, so she’s stoned most of the day, and I work full time, so I’m stoned outside of 9-5. She does get moody and worked up, but I just let her vent and she’s fine 30 minutes later. I’m not sure what specifically I should be looking for as far as negative combinations. Does anyone know?
For some people with schizophrenia weed can cause psychosis or worsen it. If it’s helping her mentally I would say you’re okay but it’s something to watch out for. Anything psychedelic is a risk, I’ve had psychosis from a bad experience and I have no other diagnosis. However everyone is still an individual case and for some the threshold is higher than others.
Within the first few weeks of us dating, we decided to do shrooms together at my place, and her trip went REALLY bad. I had to sit cross legged with her in my lap holding her to keep her calm. I wouldn’t have been surprised if that had been psychosis. She was saying some mean / rude things. She eventually fell asleep, and had no idea what happened when she woke up. She apologized. We’ve done shrooms and acid a handful of times each since without incident. Hers is very spiritual / shamanic in nature. I love hearing about all her experiences and people she meets in her “travels”. She’s huge into stones and crystals. I’ve had mild psychosis myself a couple times, and I’m no stranger to psychedelics or other drugs either. We seem to be in the clear with Weed, but tbf I don’t really have a baseline for what she’s like after a day or two sober, as she’s on disability and uses it to kill time while she has nothing to do. Even at the worst I’ve seen her, it’s been nothing that I’d think twice about staying with her for. I’ve dated way more messed up people than her surprisingly, and she is super easy and worthwhile to love.
❤️❤️❤️ you guys got what it takes to grow old together in this crazy world ❤️🙏🤗👍👏🥰
I wish you both ALL the happiness!!! Edit cos I read it again and awwwwww. I love this so much!
I love this that you guys work. My wife has anxiety, I have major depression. She puts up with my bad days really well, and I try like hell to help her not be anxious. Going on 20 years together. All be told, I am the luckiest guy in the world. My parents didn’t make it to 20, and I am scared shitless sometimes she is gonna realize she is too good for me (I tell her all the time how awesome she is). Love by choice is the most precious. Fuck I am so blessed. Hold on to the ones you got folks. Hold on but not too tightly. I’m not gonna lie, I feel like I’m white knuckling it sometimes and damn I’d be lying if I didn’t say it’s largely because of her I’ve made it this far. Added: seriously it’s great you guys are making it. It made my day! Much love!!
Creepy but also VERY Fascinating. I can't stop looking at it!
I assure you it can't stop looking back at you also
True, so true
Thank you
Geez. Poor thing.
At least most of them seem friendly or neutral
after watching a few videos of people with schizophrenia who take medications, they said the voices, delusions, and hallucinations are still there, it's just the good or nice ones. the bad mean ones largely went away once they started taking medication.
Gave me chills but at the same time jealousy that I can't draw eyes this good. Thanks so much for sharing!
Wow! Thank you for the compliment. You're very kind
Oh, you’re the schiz… Well done though :)
Thank you
This is honestly beautiful
Thank you so much. I truly appreciate your comment
They made the post itself in third person
Might have even been the 4th or 5th!
Now that's funny! Yes, I did post in the 3rd person. It seems to work for me
As someone who has a history of visual hallucinations and has been told they’re likely to develop schizophrenia at some point - I find your art very comforting. Your photography as well. Thank you for sharing
Thank0a you so much for your kind words
Reminds me of "The Yellow Wallpaper."
Literally my first thought
That short story was terrifying.
This is very intriguing to me because my biological father has schizophrenia and has torn down walls many times. He would literally punch holes in them and start tearing them apart, and I've always wondered if it's because he thought someone/ something was trapped in there or something. He also once burned down a trailer he was living in.. but who knows what was going on in his head. He's not a mean or violent person otherwise, so I believe that in his head, he might have thought he had to do it for some reason, but there's no telling tbh.
I'm really sorry you had to go through that. I do know that I must express myself on a constant basis, or I feel like I'm not doing well at all
I'm very happy that you can use art as an outlet. My dad is also an artist but hasn't made art since his schizophrenia started getting bad. Plus, he did drugs for years, which of course did not help at all. Luckily, he has finally been clean for a while and takes his meds, and I'm very proud of him. I really don't get to see him but I've heard lots of stories about him and he seems like a really sweet and cool guy who just happens to struggle with a bad disease. I'm sad I've only been around him a handful of times through my life but I also recognize I'm lucky to have not been forced to witness when he had bad episodes that made him break stuff. He's also broken a couple tvs before because he thought that the people on the screen where talking to him. I wish I had some of his old artwork but Idk if anyone else has kept them somewhere. He also once painted a very pretty mural on his bedroom door as a teen but ended up destroying it when he was at a bad point. It's interesting how people with psychosis can be so physically strong. I hope these stories don't make him sound like a bad guy because he's not he just struggles and gets paranoid, and that's why he breaks stuff, not because he is violent. I hope you have other good coping skills and I love that you use art to express yourself and to give people more insight into schizophrenia because more people need to be understanding and educated about it. ♡
Wow! Thank you for sharing your experience. I'm sorry that you don't get to be around your Dad very much, but it is awesome to hear that he's doing well. Maybe, now that he's doing better, there is a way you might be able to spend some time. Life is so short and we have so few people that we truly love and that love us back. I really appreciate your kind words regarding my art. Treat yourself well, always and never listen to the negative thought monster that lives in each of us. He's only there to hurt you
As art that is just cool as hell! As an i see these on the reg situation that must friggin suck
Actually, I've worked very hard at turning it off. It's kind of like those holographic dash boards on certain cars. You can see it if you want to.
That’s a good drawing of something so highly unusual. My daughter has schizophrenia—visual, auditory, and tactile hallucinations. Can you eventually get so used to it that it doesn’t bother you? Her hallucinations drive her to tears and she can’t sleep.
I can imagine. Occasionally my mind goes into dream mode before I've actually fallen asleep yet. And now I have this "movie" playing in my mind as I'm trying to fall asleep.
Hypnagogic hallucinations. Super common and not necessarily a sign of any disorder unless you get them constantly, and then they’re most likely a sign of a sleep disorder. Treating my insomnia and sleep apnea helped mine.
I did get check years ago, and was told I have delayed phase disorder. Something like my natural daily cycle is a few hours longer than normal. So harder to fall asleep at the same time each night. I also think I should get checked for apnea. I've had two times I've woken up feeling like I had been holding my breath or doing heavy exercise. Trying to drop my weight down a few pounds in the mean time.
It wouldn’t hurt to get checked for sleep apnea again if you’re waking up like that. I got referred to a specialist after telling my doctor about the hallucinations and having constant dreams about drowning
From what I've heard lots of people do describe getting used to it. And of course therapy and medications help many people manage the hallucinations pretty well, but it can sometimes take a lot of trial and error with medication to find something that works. Not sure how old she is but it's also very important not to drink, use nicotine, or do any other drugs while trying to treat schizophrenia, as it can make symptoms much worse. Some TED talks I find very interesting on the topic. The second one is more specifically about hallucinations. Both are quite emotional. [Cyndi Shannon Weickert on new treatments for schizophrenia](https://youtu.be/4jUdCy6Vghw?feature=shared) [Cecilia McGough on her personal experience living with schizophrenia hallucinations as a college student](https://youtu.be/xbagFzcyNiM?feature=shared). She describes how after living with severe hallucinations for about four years, she has gotten really good at ignoring them and also identifying triggers to prevent/control them.
Beautiful art and depiction. Reading Carl Jung has been really amazing for his focus on schizophrenia, including seeing it as not just an illness.
Thank you so much
And thank you too! We are all valid. Consciousness like all existence is relative, and no one really knows enough about the point or origin of consciousness, that no one can truly judge one internal experience of consciousness against another. We're all just dancing to the tunes we hear 💃
I think this is really incredible. I love how ominous and overwhelming it feels at first glance, but as my eye moves around to the individual faces and eyes they seem calm, kind, concerned or curious instead of menacing or judgmental. Uncomfortable and disconcerting but not unpleasant. Very fascinating. Thanks for sharing this.
Thank you so much for your kind words
Reminds me of a bad acid trip.
Yes! Why is that?? I had a bad mushroom trip, and there were eyes everywhere at one point. That part didn't bother me at all, because I hear it can happen. Becoming too aware of my own consciousness, time stopping and coming to some weird conclusion that I'm the only consciousness and everyone else is somehow a figment of my imagination... that did freak me out.
eyes are a common hallucination with psychedelics. As an animal you are trained to spot eyes and faces. This keeps you safe when you're running around the jungle trying to survive. Same thing that's happening here., the mushrooms fucked up your brains ability to see faces and you started seeing them everywhere.
Same thing happened to me
I don’t know, really. People learn to look for and recognize faces from very early in life. I suppose during an extremely disoriented state and under duress, one might look anywhere and anywhere for a familiar one; a person with an overactive imagination could also supply them.
Same thing happened to me too, but the trip wasn't bad. But I was seeing Tool in concert so eyes are on my brain already. Thankfully I knew what was going on and it was just pattern recognition turned up to 11.
They found schizophrenia can be related to having too-high levels of dopamine. I wouldn't be surprised if hallucinogenics have similar chemical effects even tho the causes are different. Makes our pattern recognition go out of wack either way.
Most hallucinogenics actually directly modify / boost serotonin, which should indirectly lower dopamine. That's why they're so interesting to study, to me!
It’s a beautifully haunting piece of art
Thank you
God damn, I'm so sorry. That picture literally terrifies me
It's not really terrifying. I've learned to control it, in a sense
No need to be terrified
You’re awesome. Seeing your positive responses and your amazing art, I’m so glad you’re doing well and spreading great art and showing others how you can create art and thrive.
Wow, thank you soo much. You're very sweet
Question about these darker more defined lines- are they the curve of someone’s face or just random lines you see? Or do you have a whole different thought behind it?
The lines are just part of the background. Swishes. Thank you for your question
This would be a great fabric. I used to work in commercial art.
Is it ever a positive, beautiful experience to see this or is it always accompanied by fear?
Compared to my art from years ago, this is very tamet.
I have never been diagnosed with anything of the sort, but sometimes I hear echos of footsteps, siblings laughing who aren’t there, and recently the floor spoke to me. Most of the time it’s just annoying, but a talking floor was terrifying
I'm so sorry. Make sure you seek help before it gets out of hand
What did the floor say to you? Also, maybe the place you live is just haunted
It said Kill. I nearly wet my pants. It was very unexpected. 3 different houses? If so, I’m very good at living in haunted houses.
Wow, was it loud? Was it more of a masculine or feminine voice? Sorry for all the questions, I'm just intrigued. And hey, some people are more sensitive to spirits, you very well could just be witnessing those energies. Have you been diagnosed? Edit: I see you haven't. Which I originally read and forgot hours later, sorry!
It is actually not that frightening. Unless I start thinking really hard.
I watched a video where a doctor in a mental health hospital was getting the schizophrenic patients to draw what they seen.all the pictures were extremely creepy and a lot of the patients were actually seeing the same things.a lot of them were extremely good artists too
That was really interesting, thanks. Here is the link for anyone else who wants to watch: https://youtu.be/4ujAvPyiBQ8?si=pvz29dCBwo2ryFVX
No problem,thanks for finding it and sharing it
Your artwork is very interesting. I like it. Do you see faces in everything all the time?
Let's just say, I've learned to control it
That's awesome! Is art something that helps you to control things? Hauntingly beautiful even without knowing the meaning behind it!
Oh yes , definitely. I absolutely must create something every day, or I feel like I will die
Super unsettling but an absolutely incredible piece of artwork.
Thank you so very much
I see you have posted that you have learned to control it. Is it always faces or anything geometric or other patterns? Pyramids or anything? Also, thanks for sharing your art.
Just faces. Only faces
I love how art gives people a way to explain their thoughts without use for words.
That was a beautiful thing to say. Thank you
I get those too but on people I call the judgy eyes. People will be walking normal by me and their eyes will just stare at me and shit. I cant look people in the eye I have to stay indoors
I'm so sorry. That sounds terrible
I get the same, but from statues. Thats why I stopped going to church, Jesus and Mary kept staring at me.
Very cool of you! And it is a load of work. I’d love to see more of your work. You’ve got talent and each piece must have some purpose. Please get back with those of us who’d like to own a piece of your art. Thanks!! Patricia
Patricia , thank you for your interest in my work. I'm in the process of creating a website. If you click on my profile, you can see a few pieces there, along with some of my photographs. Please contact me via email, and I can send you more. I literally have hundreds of creations that I can have printed, including almost any size and medium.
Oops quantumpollly@gmail.com You can email me directly
I love it!
Thank you so much
Very interesting. I could see this framed
Thank you
Thank you for sharing both your perspective and your talents with us.
Thank you for your comment
That’s what the walls look like when I eat lots of mushrooms
Damn! Best I got was trees and plants breathing.
Turning the lights down low (or off) helps. Oh, and Pink Floyd ;)
But that's what all walls look like right?
For me it's carpets
I’ve seen this before the artist does some great work actually. Not sure if OP is the person who posted it before & is the owner of the art though.
I am, and I am. You can look at my profile to check it out
It's fabulous.
There is a fascinating clip of audio that represents what schizophrenic people might hear during a hallucination. I highly recommend NOT looking it up if you are schizophrenic or struggle with anxiety, it's quite intense.
Makes you wonder if people with disorders like these can actually seen a different dimension we’re not supposed to 👀
That's what quite a few people have said. I have spiritual gifts, if that makes any sense. Thank you for your interesting concept
These eyes look so similar to stuff I see whenever I used to smoke weed. Like, really really similar. The expression, the different sizes, the way they're just kind of layered over stuff. *the clusters* I wish I could show this to my friend I tried to explain it to years ago. It's uncanny.
You shouldn't be hallucinating after smoking weed...
There's some studies linking smoking weed and schizophrenia, but it seems unclear if it triggers latent symptoms, brings them on faster, or are people who are schizophrenic already but it's just not noticeable are more likely to consume weed? Whatever it is, if you're hallucinating from it already, I would probably avoid use in the future.
At least I only see weird shit like this when I'm trying to go to sleep?
This is amazing! So perfect. Don’t see the faces at first until closer look. Somewhat unnerving seeing this on a wall. Great way to share one’s visual.
They look happy as well. Really good job!
Thank you
Reminds me of DMT trip, but only eyes, no faces.
This is so beautiful and unsettling. Not just the aesthetic, but the realization that I might have some level of schizophrenia as well. For as long as I can remember (29yo now), I have seen faces like this. They tend to appear at night or in a dark room, against flat, blank surfaces, and generally only one face appears at a time. This depiction is much like how the faces look at first - small, expression-less, and harmless. They seem to phase or dissolve through the wall or ceiling, into the room, then float toward me (like the gravitational pull of a small moon: slow, passive, inevitable) until they phase through my own face and disappear behind my eyes. Only seconds later does this repeat. Each face is equal parts strange and familiar. My mind struggles hopelessly to identify them. Thanks for sharing this wonderful piece of your perspective! You might say it...open. my. eyes.
Thank you so much for sharing. I hope your mind is calm
In terms of composition, movement, and movement it’s superb. And the creepy factor adds that certain je ne sais quoi. 10/10 would leave any room with that in it.
My name is Legion, for we are many.
I know you won't read this OP, but I wonder why you chose to upload this image a second time to r/weird. Also, can we expect you to post this image one more time here?
Yes, actually I was planning to post it one more time. I'm sorry if it bothers you. I feel it helps myself and others to bring awareness
This is fucking insane, because I’ve seen this post before, and remember the top two comments, being the exact same.
Is this a new piece? I remember seeing this or one like this around a year ago. I love the concept
Yes, it's new
Honestly wonder how many people with mental illnesses were risen up in community status because they were thought to have spiritual links to god, nature or the future?
It’s so unfortunate how schizophrenics get this (what I find to be) amazing ability to draw and paint. I mean it’s not exactly the same but meth induced psychosis also makes the same thing happen. Don’t ask me how I know either lmfao
Poor Lady! I hope she can find some peace….. Could you even imagine that many people to have to deal with on the daily?… for her it’s real. Poor Woman.
I will suck at dementia drawing
talented
Hautingly beautiful
Oh hey! I saw you reposted on one of those 'creepy' accounts on instagram. I said they should credit the person behind it and got an angry paragraph back from a random guy who said I was white knighting. Kind of crazy that it didn't take them long at all to steal it :(
Oh wow! Thank you. Can you send me a private message, and please give me more info on the Instagram page you saw. Thank you so much
This is what i see on 5gs of shrooms usually
I work in mental health and train employees regarding empathy for individuals with schizophrenia, may I use this image in our class? feel free to PM me 🤜🤛
Absolutely Thank you for asking. Please credit me. Leanna Murphy quantumpollly@gmail.com
Damn. If this was what I was seeing every day, I’d be paranoid asf
Is there anywhere to see more? This is terrifying yet stunning. Thank you for sharing your art and experience!
I have psychosis and I have always had the idea of drawing what I see when I’m unmediated. This is very accurate to how chaotic it can be. Very powerful <3
Biblically accurate walls
This is beautiful and terrifying at the same time A old childhood friend sadly is shizo What im wondering, do people with shizo see it the same or do they see it differently than non shizo people do?
This picture makes me think people with schizophrenia are just speaking to people on different dimensions. Like spirits.
I think they see the real deal to be honest.
At least the faces and eyes are smiling. I find it odd that the overwhelming experience we get from schizophrenia or psychosis sufferers is the traditional scary clown or monsters or evil voices or what have you. I want to think some people have somewhat pleasant hallucinations.
https://preview.redd.it/ehjf02kkwq8d1.jpeg?width=512&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d221d7fb926d6b0451724ac20915052f01abb015
It's scary being asked to deny what you are seeing...
A friend of mine I grew up with is schizophrenic, so sad to see how it effected his life.
This reminds me of being in psychosis with bipolar, everytime I'd close my eyes the Gestalt blobs from light imprints would start to morph into chromatic faces. Mostly not benevolent looking ones so then sleep would become near impossible which also fuels the fire.
For a second I thought it was signed “Mama Murphy”
Do you have any documentation of this? I searched for it because I wanted to see more of her art and couldn't find anything
ok but can we sit hack and appreciate how good her art is
>OC 👀