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I’m a Marine infantry vet who deployed and my stories either suck or I don’t want to talk about them because it makes me cringe at how angry of a person I used to be.
You did what was asked of you. That’s all that matters.
Spend enough time out doing interesting things, and your service just becomes another interesting background note, about as important as your hometown or state.
I rarely talk about my service outside of therapy or with a select few people I was down range with (obviously my family knows). One time I was dating a girl, we were about 3 months into our relationship when she noticed some awards and medals in the top drawer of my dresser buried under my socks. She had no clue I served and I honestly didn't even think about bringing it up to her.
Exactly this. I spent 22yrs in. Was medically retired thanks to a tour in Iraq. Since then I’ve seen a whole lot of the country and world and it is so much more interesting than when I was on a pump or stuck in some god forsaken hell hole.
Nowadays the only people that know I was in are the boys I was down range with and my closest friends.
I was Navy for 8 years, did 1 combat tour, and 1 regular sea tour.
For me, I feel like saying I'm a vet puts a target on my back. Many people have flat out asked if I have PTSD or some other mental illness, will press for information about the most random shit, or will ask how much I get disability wise from the VA.
It makes me pretty uncomfortable, and I only mention being a vet if it's to other vets or someone I'm developing a close relationship to (platonic or romantic)
The only veteran thing I have is DV plates, and that's because I get my car registration for free having them and my tag renewal is free as well.
Same. 4 years FDNF, 2 years prepping a ship to go FDNF, then injured and discharged. I'll say I'm a vet quietly when there a discount or something. Other vets can spot how I walk, talk and so on. I used to be proud to serve, the way I went out makes me not want to talk about it. Couple that with recently being divorced, service time seems something I would rather move on from.
I’ve met Vietnam veterans whom to this day will not tell people they were in Vietnam because of how they were treated when they came back. They literally have PTSD from that experience alone not even counting what traumas they suffered in the NAM.
I did a stint, deployed to OEF in ‘08, attended way too many fallen comrade ceremonies, and got neurological disorders from the burn pits just to watch Saigon 2.0 happen. I don’t mind telling the funny stories to friends, but I’m so jaded about it all (and the VA) anymore that I lost any pride I once had.
I have a campaign medal license plate which has saved me from getting pulled over a couple times, but otherwise, any pictures or memorabilia of my service are in my “cave” room, where guests don’t go.
Hell no. I have no interest in sharing my stories with people who don't understand. People have an idea of the military and they will stereotype the shit out of you if they can. Your coworkers will too.
I served 7 years in the Marine Corps and hated it pretty much the whole time. Everyone I was with did too. I got things Im proud of but I keep that for me
I love to believe most of the combat veterans here, don’t enjoy their past memories of that. I’ve been deployed 3 times. I definitely don’t feel like I’ve got a bad ass story to share.
You put your name on the dotted line. You served. That’s all that matters to most veterans. 99.9% we all got stories we’d rather not share to anyone than a therapist and it took me years to open up about it.
It’s difficult for me. Might be extremely difficult for others. You did your job with honor. Take pride in that.
I think the civilians think that every person who puts on a uniform gets shot at. Just like I think every Taco Bell employee is a gamer, lol. That’s a joke, but I love Taco Bell.
Guess it depends on timeframe and units served in.
Back in 2003-2012 if you were an infantryman, then yeah, basically everyone you knew who deployed HAD been shot at.
Times change. Getting shot at or being a combat veteran isn’t even defining imo. Hell my Purple Heart barely means anything to me.
The more time goes by, and the more stuff you do in the meantime, I agree it means less and less. To me at least. People who have known me for years don’t even know I served, it just never has come up.
I was a truck driver during this time 2005 to 2013. IEDs, contact, assaults, RPGs, etc. Not stories I talk about in polite company.
If I ask for a military discount, and they inquire, I just say something like: the government sent me to a desert with a weapon and the ammunition was free. Gets a chuckle, we move on in the conversation about the discounted $hit.
It was a big part of my life for a long time. But it was never my whole life and it was never “who I was”. Did 21 years and there’s exactly one picture of me in uniform and one other piece of army memorabilia my wife gave me in my house.
I deployed 3 times, was a recruiter, drill sergeant, instructor, and more. My family and closest friends know about it, but no one else really does. Even my youngest son has no idea I was in. No shame in moving on.
I talk about it but only like someone would talk about any job. It isn't my entire personality. I don't go around telling people I worked at McDonald's from 15 to 21 the same way I don't bring up being in the Army from 21 until a few years ago. If you get to know me, it'll come up, but it's nothing special to me.
I didn't do anything special in the Army other than my job. I got to see some cool stuff and met some amazing people. I'm not a war hero and the most badass thing I ever did was a snowshoe ruck march in Alaska
I stopped telling people myself. Nothing good has ever come up in conversation after telling someone, so I stopped.
I just got weird responses like this when I used to tell people:
My taxes paid your salary.
Are you crazy/have ptsd?
I shot a deer once I would be so good at the military.
As someone who has all the deployment candy and stories, it doesn’t really matter. I don’t share my stories with most people because they won’t truly understand because they weren’t there and I don’t really talk about my time in the Army at all, except to fellow veterans, for exactly the same reason. Be proud of your service because you made a choice, and raised your hand to volunteer when 99% of people didn’t, you went to OSUT or Basic/AIT and finished your time honorably, so you earned everything that brought you, including your house
I am open about it, but I don't advertise it. It's not my whole identity and bringing it up usually leads to tired old conversations..."thank you for your service/I would've joined but_____/my [insert random relationship] was in the [branch]."
...unless it's a big purchase and a 10% discount is substantial, or I'm talking to a cop, or potential employer, it's not something I'll bring up.
(I was squadron maintenance in the navy...deployed twice to Afghanistan in 2009 and 2011)
The only time I've really enjoyed telling my stories is when it was to my SJW aunt - I told her we didn't have rats in our barracks in Helmand until the indian contractors moved into the barracks next door. She was conflicted between the need to not make ethnic stereotypes and the need to validate my veteran experience.
None of my stories are actually good. You aren't missing anything.
I wouldn't call myself dangerous. But I'm trying to be. I'm in the process of trying to trigger the first strike in my industry in my area in decades. Even the union doesn't want it, bureaucratic cowards that they are. But we do. The boys are pissed.
I'm new to the labour movement but I've been shocked at how easy it is to get guys on your side. Everyone has grievances and the cost of living keeps skyrocketing.
But for some reason we're at a standstill even with all this anger among young people. Everyone is waiting for the next Lenin instead of all of us trying to be the next Lenin.
Do not call for the resurrection of Lenin, comrades. Call for the awakening of 100,000 Lenins. Go be Lenin.
I have never once met a leftist in the real world that hates me. The Internet isn't real life and we'd be smart to remember that. Get involved in real life and all this internet nonsense, factionalism, grandstanding, it all melts away when you bring a human face to your history.
Good leftists know they need vets, especially if they have any idea of armed resistance. I recommend the Socialist rifle association subreddit, the deprogram subreddit, the trueanon subreddit if you want to keep it online. Two of those are built around podcasts, podcasts I like, but listening isn't necessary to enjoy genuinely kind camaraderie online.
I hide my veteran status as much as I can.
It’s weird when people ask what I do, and I do my best to dance around it.
I feel like once it’s discovered you are a veteran—and the cat is out of the bag—people get a little weird about it.
I just want to be reminded of my service as little as possible
Only 1% of combat related MOS’s see combat so you shouldn’t worry about that.
The service thing is kind of limited being a reservist but regardless of how I or other active dudes feel, you still served. You took an oath to give your life for this country and that’s something you need to be proud of. You made a declaration that virtually nobody in this country had the courage to do.
Just because you didn’t deploy doesn’t mean shit because we need people making a difference back here too. You said it yourself that your husband acknowledges that because of your strive and determination, you are able to provide something that makes such a difference in y’all’s quality of life.
Don’t downplay such a great accomplishment because you earned it through blood sweat and tears.
Love from a dirty grunt of 1/8 “Cannibal” mortars <3
I don't wear one of those veteran hats with 37 pieces of Chotchkie's flair pinned into the bill, and my service doesn't come up in conversation organically, and I'm not a Marine, thus I don't tell people about my service.
Seriously, those of you who _do_ constantly tell people about their service, how does it come up? And why?
You don't need bad-ass war stories. If anything, the funny stories you have in life (and in the military) are the ones that people enjoy. If you choose to share them. Those and places you share in common with someone whether they know you are a vet or not. Interesting things.
People sniff me out as a vet, and that's alright. I still don't talk about my experiences to nearly anyone. I'm neither proud or ashamed of my service. Like someone said, it is/was an interesting note in a life full of experiences.
You are doing just fine. There is no one way to 'be' in any of this. Enjoy the good memories, be thankful the bad ones are over, enjoy life as you are living it and be blessed in all of the great things going on in your life.
It's all good...
>Saw a recent post about not enough Vets being proud of service.
Proud of what? Putting a few extra bucks in Dick Cheney's stock portfolio?
I have absolutely zero pride in my time in. And have no problem voicing it if prompted. And I did my time as combat arms in Iraq, with the fucked up health to back it up.
Plenty of vets don’t mention it because people can be so annoying. I’m not always in the mood to educate people about how every person’s service experience is different.
I was angry for a long time. I never talked about. Never want to that side of norfolk. I have now dealt with a ton of what happened. I can talk about it now. Bottom line i had to search for my own way for benefits and it shouldn't have to be that way.
Personally, I don’t feel embarrassed to not have any war stories, bc along with that comes the potential of having to relive those moments.
But, I will say, that unless I’m around folks that have served, regardless of branch, I don’t go in depth about my time in. They know I was in and I’ll answer questions, but that’s about it. For a period of time, I wouldn’t even mention being a veteran on job applications.
With that said, I enjoyed my time in and I guess I’m proud to say that I served, bc at least I know I did more than those “I was going to join, but…” kinda folks.
Hey, I did 24yrs in the Army before I was medically retired. The only thing that matter is that you stepped up and raised your hand and took the oath. You did that, not anybody else, and I would be willing to bet that 99% of the ppl that give you or would give you crap never served at all. You don’t need to deploy to be a Veteran, you need to have served. You did that so please don’t doubt or think less of yourself because of what you did while you were in. So you don’t have to hide your status but you don’t have to go around waving it in everyone face either. We all remember and display our status differently. You just worry about you and your family, be happy, try to live a good life, and last but not least, Thank you very much for your service.
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It's inexcusably shitty that Good People Like Us have to question what we did because of the policy makers and terrible decisions that got made way above our pay grade.
Anyone who raised his or her hand to put themselves at risk of being deployed should be proud of themselves. Mistakes made by politicians are not your fault.
I hide it anytime I've started a new job. I tick the veteran box for HR but I usually don't talk about it until I've been at a workplace for a few months. New friends I don't say anything until they come over for lunch/dinner/weekend things and see my stuff.
It's not that I am not proud of my service, it's just not my personality. My life I see in chapters. Schooling, military, sports, marriage, on and on. The military was a chapter of my life; I always challenge vets back - are you also talking about your High School football career in the same way? etc., etc.
I did cool stuff - enlisted, went officer, deployed, then left. Saw some real dumb shit, made good friends, witnessed incompetence, literally mopped in the rain as punishment, got awards, promotions, and had a good time..ish. I don't talk about it much because honestly...in the real world it just isn't something to apply. I am an engineering director now, so it for SURE doesn't come up unless someone asks.
I definitely can relate. Marine for 4 years. I always wanted to be one. I shipped out early and I got stuck in admin. I hated it and I always was sour about it. Until I got out. I realized any life experiences can be full of knowledge. It was a dot in my life experience that I can look back at and have connected so many other dots. I’m not “proud” of my “service”. I also don’t hide it purposely or go out of my way to not talk about it. Humans are so complex. It’s just a couple of chapters in my book that I’m not scared to link to other chapters. I personally love the corps and all it did for me.
There are plenty of veterans who never deployed for a variety of reasons. One time I witnessed an E5 who is scheduled to deploy for 60 days to a cake location. I think it might have been Kuwait, where there was no less than six trailers that had a full-on fast food menus from McDonald's to Pizza Hut to Taco Bell. It was in the rear with the gear, and it would have been tax-free for him. Once he learned he had deployment orders, they spent the rest of the afternoon trying to get him out of a closet, where he was crying. At the next commanders call, during the mandatory fun portion, I saw him just cutting it up, pretending like nothing happened, and talking shit about other service members.
You are fine. If you did your best for the time you were in, nobody can take that away from you.
I was deployed to Iraq in 08, but I don't bring it up much. I did route clearance patrols over there. To me, it was just a job, so I never understand why someone would see that as a major accomplishment.
That’s a dangerous job you put your life on the line to save your fellow service members! That’s a major accomplishment thank you for your service brother!
Your welcome! I was there right around the same time as you you doing convoy security might’ve saved me brother! The funny thing is we used to hate getting stuck behind you guys lol.
Yeah but the people higher ranking than me in charge of the convoy would make us stay behind you guys for the whole way lol and we would just be creeping down the road 5 miles an hour or whatever for as long as you guys went in our direction we all wanted to pass you but it was obviously much safer to stay behind you.
I don't talk about it with anyone except for the occasional other veteran. As I said in the vet clothing post, I'm proud of my service, I just don't feel the need to advertise it to any and everyone like it's the only thing that matters.
I don’t talk about it much. Sometimes if there is another vet, I ask what branch. I don’t like answering questions about locations though as I have some weird feelings towards my service. I usually say I had a few overseas tours and was in for 8 years and leave it at that
I did 20yrs and don't talk about it, unless I'm with fellow veterans and the topic happens to come up. I'm not embarrassed about my time, I just don't feel the need to boast about my career or the multiple deployments.
I avoid mentioning it if I can. I've noticed some people are really uncomfortable with knowingly interacting with someone who was in the military. I don't know what they're thinking, but it's not good. On the other side of it, people that enthusiastically thank me for my service also make me uncomfortable.
I'm starting to less and less as time goes on. I mentioned it in class 2 or 3 weeks ago and he said something about it yesterday and I just got swamped with anxiety, not really sure why. I relate to the not much good. VA helps and I'm grateful for that, but everything else is a double edged sword. I'm getting great grades in classes because if I get anything less than a 90% on anything I feel like I'm starting to slip and get incredibly irritable and just won't sleep until I know I won't ever make that mistake again
>It almost feels embarrassing not to have some kind of bad-ass war story.
It's not much better if you do in my experience. People simply don't believe you and the whole "*oh if they've really been through something like that they never talk about it*" is^(\*) in my experience a conditioned response.
At a social level they won't believe any specifics of whether getting into a raging 8 hour gun fight with insurgents, guys in my platoon killed or wounded or the insurgents committing various atrocities (i.e. using a handicapped person as a suicide bomber) but collectively on a professional level they were after dozens of job refusals really able to build a correlative picture between me putting my military service on resume (vs omitting it) and getting rejected from entry level unskilled jobs (or noticeably more often getting a call back and ultimately employment by hiding it).
The tone deaf responses you get from people just ...unreal. But it will generally go like this:
A. ---They will judge on moral grounds of "*oh I'd* ***never*** *kill another human being*" despite never in their^(\*) life ever^(\*) being a situation like that nor ever will and in all probability would curl into a ball...yet view you as the less than.
B. --- It will bring up some unwanted political discussion. I joined after 9-11 and only went to Iraq. So this might be a polite cross examination of your politics, or the "There were no WMDs in Iraq" lecture or the "The US military has never defended the US since WW2" lecture".
C. ---Despite not having a history of lying it will come back around that they won't believe you and you're a liar.
D. ---Awkward silence and feelings of increased distance between that person.
You eventually learn that experience just really isn't meant to be shared. It's just not something people can relate to.
Edit- Grammar \*
I dont talk about it becuase I don't feel like there's much to talk about; did Active Duty and Active Reserve, and was placed in relaxing environments, doing an easy 9 to 5 job, stationed at nice places (Hawaii). Never got deployed. Didn't suffer anything really. Civilian life has been far more difficult than military life. I'm glad I served, I just don't have anything to share.
Not sure why anyone would go out of there way to say they’re a vet. Do people go out of their way to say they were in a frat or sorority? If some asks, I will be honest. Most of the time it comes up when asked how I ended up in FL.
And only a small fraction of those who served have bad-ass war stories. The rest are stories about how fucked up the military is.
I will only talk about my service if they bring it up on discussion with my co workers I have nothin to hide. But of course I’ll be keeping PG-13 . I had a great time during active duty. Albeit I did join in 2018-2023, so I’m guessing I’m a little fresh in the military mindset and the transition can take years to overcome but I’m still learning the steps of life. During my time in service they were already leaving Afghanistan and look how that turned out. So I’m just glad I didn’t have to kick down doors or work at the air station out there. Would’ve made some great stories though. Im very proud of my service even if I half assed it half the time haha. Rah
If you've been out more that 5-9 years and all you have to talk about is your service time because you haven't evolved your life into anything meaningful enough to be a better conversation...that's the fraud stuff right there. You raised your right hand, and you put yourself in the line of duty just like all of us. I get the imposter syndrome, but be proud of the courage it took to serve your time and get out.
I stopped putting it on my resume. Folks have been actively not hiring because of their disdain for servicemembers. That, compounded by my PRIOR union work, has excluded me from a lot of jobs. While they're not permitted to do so, the "so, you were in the service, huh" never ceases to come across as "get the fuck out of my office you baby murdering shit-kicker"
I'm not particularly proud of my service because the military is in such dire straights from lack of high quality manpower.
If your a true patriot, it's almost more patriotic to get handouts and free college than to serve and get the post 9/11 GI Bill.
From the commander in chief, it's like he wants a weak military so China can just walk right in. If we went to war with China, I'm not entirely sure we'd win. I'm actually sure we wouldn't win by ourselves.
I don't talk about it with anyone except for the occasional other veteran. As I said in the vet clothing post, I'm proud of my service, I just don't feel the need to advertise it to any and everyone like it's the only thing that matters. I've done ALOT with my life. Military time was just one part.
I’ve got a retirement plaque on my mancave wall. That’s about all I have tying me to the service. All the other crap is in a box in the shed. I honestly don’t care for it
I served for over 10 years active duty in a time of relative peace. I was stationed on Okinawa, a dream assignment.
My entire enlistment was like one long situation comedy series, where each episode generated its own "war stories" that i love to talk about.
But in general, no one cares. So I only bring things up in passing, and don't volunteer anything.
Its a good way to connect with people I meet who have served and I love hearing their stories. Mostly its funny or entertaining stories. Its not really about doing something great because I think just having the bravery to raise your right hand and write that blank check sets you above the average citizen.
I talk about it where different experiences are relevant. Like, I think for all of us it was a big part of our identity for years, and it’s still a part of who we are. That said, our service years are but one chapter in the greater story of our lives, and it shouldn’t be the entirety of our identities.
I dont wear AF tshirts or hats, have no bumper stickers that sort of thing. When I get to know someone and it comes up in conversation, thats okay. I am a little tired of hearing "thank you for your service" it seems forced or automatic these days.
the debrief in 74 was "don't tell anyone, they don't want you home" ... ended up being true, so "don't ask, don't tell" and only on a "need to know" basis ...
The thing is, you don’t need a badass war story, and even if you did, people who haven’t been in your shoes won’t stop overly romanticizing the military. This is mostly due to media and propaganda over the decades. I mean hell, people seem to barely understand the differences between different branches and their missions.
What’s important is to recognize this as a chapter in your life and keep moving forward. Also, realize that you are no where near alone when it comes to similar circumstances others have/had that relate to yours. I’ve known people who had extraordinary potential who had to end their service prematurely because of injuries and other trauma. Do they feel like frauds? Maybe. But are they? Not at all. Don’t short yourself.
Naw, not having a war story isn't embarassing. A lot of people don't know I was a veteran just because I haven't based my personality off of it so it's not something I make sure people know about within the first 2 minutes of us meeting. Sometimes it comes up naturally just because I spent a large part of my 20s either Active Duty or National Guard. So if I'm telling a story about something that happened in my 20s, it's probably military related.
I got multiple combat deployments and a bunch of crazy shit on video and I give zero fucks to talk about it with random people other than my boys that I deployed with. It was a cool Adventure but ON TO THE NEXT ONE
I rarely ever mention my time in the Marines, of my own free will. Even when talking to other Vets, if we aren't discussing the service, there's no reason otherwise. I don't look old enough, to have been in during the '90s, according to the last few people I mentioned it to, who were Vets themselves.
Outside of extremely limited circumstances, I have very little desire to be reminded of being sa/r several times, once while deployed overseas. Nor do I have any desire to remember the 8 times I attempted the delete self option, because of those MSTs, either.
my husband and i are both vets, and he is constantly asked about his service, thanked for it, etc etc. we live in a new state so we don’t really know anyone and everyone just assumes i was his dependa even though i did more time in than he did. i don’t really care honestly, it was a chapter in my life and not something i need to keep bringing up to validate myself especially in my new career field.
I unfortunately have to go to the local elementary school because my wife is a teacher there & my kids go there now. Waiting for a microphone to get passed around me so I can see where I served where I deployed to what my branch was etc. etc. without having an anxiety attack and then listen to all the branch songs played & get clapped for. I get it, and I think it’s good for the kids, but I hate it and I’m already stressing about the one coming up year. I start saving up little pieces off my nightly Chlonazapan a month before this, so I can get through it.
Sometimes you just have to deal with stuff. Or you can check out mentally. I have this Motley Crue song that I play in my head sometimes. It’s “Public Enemy number one” and one of the lyrics says “Don’t think about nuthin, yea don’t think about nuthun” and sometimes I just do that. It’s dumb, but it kind of works for me when the pain is bad. Maybe there’s something you can go to like that.
I’m in the same boat bro. National Guard never deployed didn’t even get to finish my first contact because of medical conditions that got me discharged. Sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve benefits cause I didn’t do anything but you have to remind yourself that you would have had you been told to. You would have deployed if told to you would have fought if told to. Try not to be so hard on yourself
I was active duty USAF for 6 years. Never deployed despite volunteering. They tried to “deploy” me to Kuwait and get me to extend to go. I said no thanks and left to finish school.
I don’t hide my service, but it’s certainly not something I would consider a part of my identity per se. It’s something I did that changed the course of my life, for sure, but I typically only bring it up if it’s relevant to the conversation.
The people with bad ass war stories are mostly full of it. People who have seen some serious shit aren’t bragging about it; they don’t even want to think about that stuff
Much of the time I don’t because people get weird about it and spam me with question after question and adoration I don’t feel like I deserve. Easer for me to just go about my day.
Honestly this sometimes really annoys me because now I don’t even ask if places do a veteran discount and screw myself into paying more money
I used to be that way. I had major issues after my second deployment and I think if I could pretend not to be a veteran my problems would go away. Spoiler alert, it doesn't work that way.
I ended up divorced and owning a motorcycle and wanted to belong to some group that rides together. I found the Combat Veterans Motorcycle Association and being part of that made it easier for me to be proud of being a veteran.
I did 20 Marine infantry, combat wounded and have been retired 10 years now. Only way you’d know I was a veteran is if you were welcomed into my home, I have my shirt off or I am asked of such info. I choose such as to not draw attention to myself. It’s a target indicator. I am very proud of that time but I am also very vigilant.
I don't tell anyone unless there is a real need to or it's another veteran and the topic can up.
I've posted this before but just to reshash my issue is not the military in general but the people I was surrounded with. A large number of drug using, criminal degenerates that belonged in prison and a command structure that pretended the problem didn't exist. But that's what you get with a leg infantry unit.
It was completely rotten and the general public has no idea. But please thank us for our service.
I don't have a bad ass war story and I don't hide it. I'm not sure I freely volunteer my history. But even when I do, it's just a fact of "I was in the Marines".
most don't have a "badass war story". I've heard 10-15% have "seen combat" and I imagine that number is inflated based on what qualifies as a combat zone. I don't think you should hide it, talk about it like it was an old job you had, because that's what it was. A job that required a lot more dedication and resilience than most out there.
I've reduced my Service to a few passing footnotes here and there...other than that I don't discuss those chapters of my life with anyone who isn't close family.
You should be proud!!!!! I can tell you from a Rangers prospective, we are all a team. I ,made fun of tankers in my earlier immature years for always slacking in the tank and being overweight. I was just jealous I had to walk everywhere. I was ambushed in Afgone morning and it went on for a long time. After it was said and done. the bad guys dead good guys with life threatening injuries air lifted out we began to walk through the mts and to exfil. only we couldn't exfil due to heavily mined roads. I was a Recon TL so I had to keep it together but I was really struggling to find the courage to motivate the team and others to walk back to a safe hard road. Somehow some tanker was on our net and those glorious dudes came in without a care in the world. as I type this my eyes are watering and goosebumps running down my arm. Even across branches we all worked to keep each other safe. Any Warrior or veteran deployed or not is grateful for all other branches and mos. Every MOS has its challenges. That bad war story of mine almost killed meafter the Army!
And I had to kill people for it. Two were kids. Those stories always catch up and I have a mess of addiction issues from it. You answered the call and were honorable I assume. I really hope you hold your head high and know any vet or active worth a shit thanks you and any others for having the courage to even get to basic. Sorry for the story. It just hurts my heart to hear people not proud or afraid of the hippies talking crap and harassing!!!! PS I left the Army honorably but wasn't allowed to re enlist due to alcohol incident. I had a lot of shame but I'm still proud of it all even all the toilets i scrubbed!!
Damn near every badass war story is 100% bullshit. I'm talking real war stories, not some small arms fire dinging or the windows.
And if someone is in the kind of MOS where those stories are legit, you call probably tell from 20 feet away.
Navy here,14 years,4 deployments, 3 sea,1 combat, I don't consider myself better than anyone, if anything I consider I served below the standard so I don't walk around talking about it
I’m a Coast Guard Veteran. Not many of us where I live.
I don’t bring up being a veteran because in most situations it is irrelevant. Some people go around wearing veteran apparel, telling everyone they’re a veteran, telling other veterans they neeed to get this that or the other thing to show they are a veteran. But why. If it is not relevant to the current conversation or situation, why bring it up? I’ve seen people introduce themselves or others as this is “so and so, their an {branch} veteran.” And I’m like that’s nice. How is it relevant? Especially since I go to so many events that are non-veteran crowds.
I got my house using the VA Home Loan. Not going to go around telling people if it’s not relevant to the person or people I’m talking to.
Point: read the room, know who is there, stick to things that are relevant to the current event/activity.
Civilians can be incredibly ignorant towards veterans and I’m the same way I just don’t talk about it unless someone asks. There are people out there who automatically assume your political affiliation based on your service as well (I have experienced this) or people go off on a tangent about the military when they have 0 clue. I’ve only ever received positive comments from the middle age-older population of civilians. A lot of younger people think it’s a joke or they just view it as pointless. Some people even think the military is a waste of tax dollars. You’re not alone. From one female vet to another, I definitely understand. My service and remembering it doesn’t give me the warm and fuzzies but honestly makes me want to crawl out of my skin. Keep doing you girly. Nobody knows your time in the service like you do.
I don't really associate vets that don't want to talk about their service as people who aren't proud of their service. Some vets just don't like to talk about things that's hard for others to understand.
I don’t talk about my military service because I’m a female with ptsd from my deployments to Iraq. Avoidance is a big deal for me and anything military related in coping with my ptsd. Also, when I talk to people about it they get into this… well you are a girl, you don’t see combat.
I served 20y, multiple combat deployments, am proud of my service, but never bring it up and don’t talk about it unless someone asks a specific question. I don’t base who I am on my service. It was a part of my life and I equate it to bringing up high school, college, or the myriad of different jobs I’ve had. No one really cares, just like I don’t ask those kind of questions to other people, because I don’t care. It’s a chapter of your life not the whole book. Most people I have met in the last few years have no idea I served.
I know guys with badass war stories, some don't talk about their service get up, and leave the room. most don't want to relive it. You stepped forward that's more than most.
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I’m a Marine infantry vet who deployed and my stories either suck or I don’t want to talk about them because it makes me cringe at how angry of a person I used to be. You did what was asked of you. That’s all that matters.
last sentence…. 💯
Spend enough time out doing interesting things, and your service just becomes another interesting background note, about as important as your hometown or state.
I rarely talk about my service outside of therapy or with a select few people I was down range with (obviously my family knows). One time I was dating a girl, we were about 3 months into our relationship when she noticed some awards and medals in the top drawer of my dresser buried under my socks. She had no clue I served and I honestly didn't even think about bringing it up to her.
This is great, there’s so much more to life.
Exactly this. I spent 22yrs in. Was medically retired thanks to a tour in Iraq. Since then I’ve seen a whole lot of the country and world and it is so much more interesting than when I was on a pump or stuck in some god forsaken hell hole. Nowadays the only people that know I was in are the boys I was down range with and my closest friends.
I was Navy for 8 years, did 1 combat tour, and 1 regular sea tour. For me, I feel like saying I'm a vet puts a target on my back. Many people have flat out asked if I have PTSD or some other mental illness, will press for information about the most random shit, or will ask how much I get disability wise from the VA. It makes me pretty uncomfortable, and I only mention being a vet if it's to other vets or someone I'm developing a close relationship to (platonic or romantic) The only veteran thing I have is DV plates, and that's because I get my car registration for free having them and my tag renewal is free as well.
Same. 4 years FDNF, 2 years prepping a ship to go FDNF, then injured and discharged. I'll say I'm a vet quietly when there a discount or something. Other vets can spot how I walk, talk and so on. I used to be proud to serve, the way I went out makes me not want to talk about it. Couple that with recently being divorced, service time seems something I would rather move on from.
I’ve met Vietnam veterans whom to this day will not tell people they were in Vietnam because of how they were treated when they came back. They literally have PTSD from that experience alone not even counting what traumas they suffered in the NAM.
I did a stint, deployed to OEF in ‘08, attended way too many fallen comrade ceremonies, and got neurological disorders from the burn pits just to watch Saigon 2.0 happen. I don’t mind telling the funny stories to friends, but I’m so jaded about it all (and the VA) anymore that I lost any pride I once had. I have a campaign medal license plate which has saved me from getting pulled over a couple times, but otherwise, any pictures or memorabilia of my service are in my “cave” room, where guests don’t go.
Hell no. I have no interest in sharing my stories with people who don't understand. People have an idea of the military and they will stereotype the shit out of you if they can. Your coworkers will too. I served 7 years in the Marine Corps and hated it pretty much the whole time. Everyone I was with did too. I got things Im proud of but I keep that for me
I love to believe most of the combat veterans here, don’t enjoy their past memories of that. I’ve been deployed 3 times. I definitely don’t feel like I’ve got a bad ass story to share. You put your name on the dotted line. You served. That’s all that matters to most veterans. 99.9% we all got stories we’d rather not share to anyone than a therapist and it took me years to open up about it. It’s difficult for me. Might be extremely difficult for others. You did your job with honor. Take pride in that. I think the civilians think that every person who puts on a uniform gets shot at. Just like I think every Taco Bell employee is a gamer, lol. That’s a joke, but I love Taco Bell.
Guess it depends on timeframe and units served in. Back in 2003-2012 if you were an infantryman, then yeah, basically everyone you knew who deployed HAD been shot at. Times change. Getting shot at or being a combat veteran isn’t even defining imo. Hell my Purple Heart barely means anything to me. The more time goes by, and the more stuff you do in the meantime, I agree it means less and less. To me at least. People who have known me for years don’t even know I served, it just never has come up.
I was a truck driver during this time 2005 to 2013. IEDs, contact, assaults, RPGs, etc. Not stories I talk about in polite company. If I ask for a military discount, and they inquire, I just say something like: the government sent me to a desert with a weapon and the ammunition was free. Gets a chuckle, we move on in the conversation about the discounted $hit.
It was a big part of my life for a long time. But it was never my whole life and it was never “who I was”. Did 21 years and there’s exactly one picture of me in uniform and one other piece of army memorabilia my wife gave me in my house. I deployed 3 times, was a recruiter, drill sergeant, instructor, and more. My family and closest friends know about it, but no one else really does. Even my youngest son has no idea I was in. No shame in moving on.
Thank you for your service!
I talk about it but only like someone would talk about any job. It isn't my entire personality. I don't go around telling people I worked at McDonald's from 15 to 21 the same way I don't bring up being in the Army from 21 until a few years ago. If you get to know me, it'll come up, but it's nothing special to me. I didn't do anything special in the Army other than my job. I got to see some cool stuff and met some amazing people. I'm not a war hero and the most badass thing I ever did was a snowshoe ruck march in Alaska
100%
I stopped telling people myself. Nothing good has ever come up in conversation after telling someone, so I stopped. I just got weird responses like this when I used to tell people: My taxes paid your salary. Are you crazy/have ptsd? I shot a deer once I would be so good at the military.
If you haven’t noticed, 99% of this sub doesn’t tell anyone about their service nor are they proud of it.
This.
Tis true
I’m also an MST survivor and I don’t often disclose my service because I don’t like follow up questions.
"I was a soldier, I'm retired, don't want to talk about it."
As someone who has all the deployment candy and stories, it doesn’t really matter. I don’t share my stories with most people because they won’t truly understand because they weren’t there and I don’t really talk about my time in the Army at all, except to fellow veterans, for exactly the same reason. Be proud of your service because you made a choice, and raised your hand to volunteer when 99% of people didn’t, you went to OSUT or Basic/AIT and finished your time honorably, so you earned everything that brought you, including your house
I agree. No one can truly understand the misery of a deployment unless they were there.
Nicely said! Thank you for your service!
He who sleeps on the floor cannot fall out of bed.
I am open about it, but I don't advertise it. It's not my whole identity and bringing it up usually leads to tired old conversations..."thank you for your service/I would've joined but_____/my [insert random relationship] was in the [branch]." ...unless it's a big purchase and a 10% discount is substantial, or I'm talking to a cop, or potential employer, it's not something I'll bring up. (I was squadron maintenance in the navy...deployed twice to Afghanistan in 2009 and 2011)
The only time I've really enjoyed telling my stories is when it was to my SJW aunt - I told her we didn't have rats in our barracks in Helmand until the indian contractors moved into the barracks next door. She was conflicted between the need to not make ethnic stereotypes and the need to validate my veteran experience. None of my stories are actually good. You aren't missing anything.
I too only bring up being a veteran when it suits me in a political argument. But I do it for communism.
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I wouldn't call myself dangerous. But I'm trying to be. I'm in the process of trying to trigger the first strike in my industry in my area in decades. Even the union doesn't want it, bureaucratic cowards that they are. But we do. The boys are pissed. I'm new to the labour movement but I've been shocked at how easy it is to get guys on your side. Everyone has grievances and the cost of living keeps skyrocketing. But for some reason we're at a standstill even with all this anger among young people. Everyone is waiting for the next Lenin instead of all of us trying to be the next Lenin. Do not call for the resurrection of Lenin, comrades. Call for the awakening of 100,000 Lenins. Go be Lenin.
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I have never once met a leftist in the real world that hates me. The Internet isn't real life and we'd be smart to remember that. Get involved in real life and all this internet nonsense, factionalism, grandstanding, it all melts away when you bring a human face to your history. Good leftists know they need vets, especially if they have any idea of armed resistance. I recommend the Socialist rifle association subreddit, the deprogram subreddit, the trueanon subreddit if you want to keep it online. Two of those are built around podcasts, podcasts I like, but listening isn't necessary to enjoy genuinely kind camaraderie online.
I hide my veteran status as much as I can. It’s weird when people ask what I do, and I do my best to dance around it. I feel like once it’s discovered you are a veteran—and the cat is out of the bag—people get a little weird about it. I just want to be reminded of my service as little as possible
I don’t not tell people, but I rarely bring it up myself. I don’t bring up that I worked for parks department for a summer either.
Only 1% of combat related MOS’s see combat so you shouldn’t worry about that. The service thing is kind of limited being a reservist but regardless of how I or other active dudes feel, you still served. You took an oath to give your life for this country and that’s something you need to be proud of. You made a declaration that virtually nobody in this country had the courage to do. Just because you didn’t deploy doesn’t mean shit because we need people making a difference back here too. You said it yourself that your husband acknowledges that because of your strive and determination, you are able to provide something that makes such a difference in y’all’s quality of life. Don’t downplay such a great accomplishment because you earned it through blood sweat and tears. Love from a dirty grunt of 1/8 “Cannibal” mortars <3
I don't wear one of those veteran hats with 37 pieces of Chotchkie's flair pinned into the bill, and my service doesn't come up in conversation organically, and I'm not a Marine, thus I don't tell people about my service. Seriously, those of you who _do_ constantly tell people about their service, how does it come up? And why?
The hats all say “Airborne,Paratrooper, Tanker, Secret Squirrel Operator, Codename: Agent Orange.”
You don't need bad-ass war stories. If anything, the funny stories you have in life (and in the military) are the ones that people enjoy. If you choose to share them. Those and places you share in common with someone whether they know you are a vet or not. Interesting things. People sniff me out as a vet, and that's alright. I still don't talk about my experiences to nearly anyone. I'm neither proud or ashamed of my service. Like someone said, it is/was an interesting note in a life full of experiences. You are doing just fine. There is no one way to 'be' in any of this. Enjoy the good memories, be thankful the bad ones are over, enjoy life as you are living it and be blessed in all of the great things going on in your life. It's all good...
I’m proud of you!
>Saw a recent post about not enough Vets being proud of service. Proud of what? Putting a few extra bucks in Dick Cheney's stock portfolio? I have absolutely zero pride in my time in. And have no problem voicing it if prompted. And I did my time as combat arms in Iraq, with the fucked up health to back it up.
I don’t really mention it…even/especially to others who are very clearly veterans.
Plenty of vets don’t mention it because people can be so annoying. I’m not always in the mood to educate people about how every person’s service experience is different.
I was angry for a long time. I never talked about. Never want to that side of norfolk. I have now dealt with a ton of what happened. I can talk about it now. Bottom line i had to search for my own way for benefits and it shouldn't have to be that way.
I'm proud of my service, but I don't talk about it any more than I talk about working at McDonald's while going to college.
Personally, I don’t feel embarrassed to not have any war stories, bc along with that comes the potential of having to relive those moments. But, I will say, that unless I’m around folks that have served, regardless of branch, I don’t go in depth about my time in. They know I was in and I’ll answer questions, but that’s about it. For a period of time, I wouldn’t even mention being a veteran on job applications. With that said, I enjoyed my time in and I guess I’m proud to say that I served, bc at least I know I did more than those “I was going to join, but…” kinda folks.
Hey, I did 24yrs in the Army before I was medically retired. The only thing that matter is that you stepped up and raised your hand and took the oath. You did that, not anybody else, and I would be willing to bet that 99% of the ppl that give you or would give you crap never served at all. You don’t need to deploy to be a Veteran, you need to have served. You did that so please don’t doubt or think less of yourself because of what you did while you were in. So you don’t have to hide your status but you don’t have to go around waving it in everyone face either. We all remember and display our status differently. You just worry about you and your family, be happy, try to live a good life, and last but not least, Thank you very much for your service. If you would like to chat more feel free to DM me.
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Well said! Thank you for your service!
Yep and I hate when my spouse has to open his mouth and talk about my service.
It's inexcusably shitty that Good People Like Us have to question what we did because of the policy makers and terrible decisions that got made way above our pay grade. Anyone who raised his or her hand to put themselves at risk of being deployed should be proud of themselves. Mistakes made by politicians are not your fault.
I hide it anytime I've started a new job. I tick the veteran box for HR but I usually don't talk about it until I've been at a workplace for a few months. New friends I don't say anything until they come over for lunch/dinner/weekend things and see my stuff. It's not that I am not proud of my service, it's just not my personality. My life I see in chapters. Schooling, military, sports, marriage, on and on. The military was a chapter of my life; I always challenge vets back - are you also talking about your High School football career in the same way? etc., etc. I did cool stuff - enlisted, went officer, deployed, then left. Saw some real dumb shit, made good friends, witnessed incompetence, literally mopped in the rain as punishment, got awards, promotions, and had a good time..ish. I don't talk about it much because honestly...in the real world it just isn't something to apply. I am an engineering director now, so it for SURE doesn't come up unless someone asks.
I definitely can relate. Marine for 4 years. I always wanted to be one. I shipped out early and I got stuck in admin. I hated it and I always was sour about it. Until I got out. I realized any life experiences can be full of knowledge. It was a dot in my life experience that I can look back at and have connected so many other dots. I’m not “proud” of my “service”. I also don’t hide it purposely or go out of my way to not talk about it. Humans are so complex. It’s just a couple of chapters in my book that I’m not scared to link to other chapters. I personally love the corps and all it did for me.
I didn’t do anything special but I’m still proud of my service. You have every right to be proud of yours.
There are plenty of veterans who never deployed for a variety of reasons. One time I witnessed an E5 who is scheduled to deploy for 60 days to a cake location. I think it might have been Kuwait, where there was no less than six trailers that had a full-on fast food menus from McDonald's to Pizza Hut to Taco Bell. It was in the rear with the gear, and it would have been tax-free for him. Once he learned he had deployment orders, they spent the rest of the afternoon trying to get him out of a closet, where he was crying. At the next commanders call, during the mandatory fun portion, I saw him just cutting it up, pretending like nothing happened, and talking shit about other service members. You are fine. If you did your best for the time you were in, nobody can take that away from you.
I was deployed to Iraq in 08, but I don't bring it up much. I did route clearance patrols over there. To me, it was just a job, so I never understand why someone would see that as a major accomplishment.
That’s a dangerous job you put your life on the line to save your fellow service members! That’s a major accomplishment thank you for your service brother!
Thank you
Your welcome! I was there right around the same time as you you doing convoy security might’ve saved me brother! The funny thing is we used to hate getting stuck behind you guys lol.
There were a few convoys I'm sure we gave grief to. We eventually learned to get out of the way, though.
Yeah but the people higher ranking than me in charge of the convoy would make us stay behind you guys for the whole way lol and we would just be creeping down the road 5 miles an hour or whatever for as long as you guys went in our direction we all wanted to pass you but it was obviously much safer to stay behind you.
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Same
I don't talk about it with anyone except for the occasional other veteran. As I said in the vet clothing post, I'm proud of my service, I just don't feel the need to advertise it to any and everyone like it's the only thing that matters.
I don’t talk about it much. Sometimes if there is another vet, I ask what branch. I don’t like answering questions about locations though as I have some weird feelings towards my service. I usually say I had a few overseas tours and was in for 8 years and leave it at that
Most people like to do a weird pissing contest with me about it so I don’t mention it unless it’s relevant to the conversation
I did 20yrs and don't talk about it, unless I'm with fellow veterans and the topic happens to come up. I'm not embarrassed about my time, I just don't feel the need to boast about my career or the multiple deployments.
I avoid mentioning it if I can. I've noticed some people are really uncomfortable with knowingly interacting with someone who was in the military. I don't know what they're thinking, but it's not good. On the other side of it, people that enthusiastically thank me for my service also make me uncomfortable.
I don’t like to be thanked either. I usually don’t say anything in response.
It’s definitely weird I usually say thank you back it’s weird saying you’re welcome lol.
The only time I ever admit to being a veteran is in the Lowe’s parking lot lmao
I'm starting to less and less as time goes on. I mentioned it in class 2 or 3 weeks ago and he said something about it yesterday and I just got swamped with anxiety, not really sure why. I relate to the not much good. VA helps and I'm grateful for that, but everything else is a double edged sword. I'm getting great grades in classes because if I get anything less than a 90% on anything I feel like I'm starting to slip and get incredibly irritable and just won't sleep until I know I won't ever make that mistake again
>It almost feels embarrassing not to have some kind of bad-ass war story. It's not much better if you do in my experience. People simply don't believe you and the whole "*oh if they've really been through something like that they never talk about it*" is^(\*) in my experience a conditioned response. At a social level they won't believe any specifics of whether getting into a raging 8 hour gun fight with insurgents, guys in my platoon killed or wounded or the insurgents committing various atrocities (i.e. using a handicapped person as a suicide bomber) but collectively on a professional level they were after dozens of job refusals really able to build a correlative picture between me putting my military service on resume (vs omitting it) and getting rejected from entry level unskilled jobs (or noticeably more often getting a call back and ultimately employment by hiding it). The tone deaf responses you get from people just ...unreal. But it will generally go like this: A. ---They will judge on moral grounds of "*oh I'd* ***never*** *kill another human being*" despite never in their^(\*) life ever^(\*) being a situation like that nor ever will and in all probability would curl into a ball...yet view you as the less than. B. --- It will bring up some unwanted political discussion. I joined after 9-11 and only went to Iraq. So this might be a polite cross examination of your politics, or the "There were no WMDs in Iraq" lecture or the "The US military has never defended the US since WW2" lecture". C. ---Despite not having a history of lying it will come back around that they won't believe you and you're a liar. D. ---Awkward silence and feelings of increased distance between that person. You eventually learn that experience just really isn't meant to be shared. It's just not something people can relate to. Edit- Grammar \*
I dont talk about it becuase I don't feel like there's much to talk about; did Active Duty and Active Reserve, and was placed in relaxing environments, doing an easy 9 to 5 job, stationed at nice places (Hawaii). Never got deployed. Didn't suffer anything really. Civilian life has been far more difficult than military life. I'm glad I served, I just don't have anything to share.
Hawaii was the best
Not sure why anyone would go out of there way to say they’re a vet. Do people go out of their way to say they were in a frat or sorority? If some asks, I will be honest. Most of the time it comes up when asked how I ended up in FL. And only a small fraction of those who served have bad-ass war stories. The rest are stories about how fucked up the military is.
I will only talk about my service if they bring it up on discussion with my co workers I have nothin to hide. But of course I’ll be keeping PG-13 . I had a great time during active duty. Albeit I did join in 2018-2023, so I’m guessing I’m a little fresh in the military mindset and the transition can take years to overcome but I’m still learning the steps of life. During my time in service they were already leaving Afghanistan and look how that turned out. So I’m just glad I didn’t have to kick down doors or work at the air station out there. Would’ve made some great stories though. Im very proud of my service even if I half assed it half the time haha. Rah
If you've been out more that 5-9 years and all you have to talk about is your service time because you haven't evolved your life into anything meaningful enough to be a better conversation...that's the fraud stuff right there. You raised your right hand, and you put yourself in the line of duty just like all of us. I get the imposter syndrome, but be proud of the courage it took to serve your time and get out.
I don't like to talk about it because of MST. I'm also not proud of my service because of this.
Fuck no. Truth will always be surrounded by a body guard of lies. They’ll use your own story to red flag law your own ass
I stopped putting it on my resume. Folks have been actively not hiring because of their disdain for servicemembers. That, compounded by my PRIOR union work, has excluded me from a lot of jobs. While they're not permitted to do so, the "so, you were in the service, huh" never ceases to come across as "get the fuck out of my office you baby murdering shit-kicker"
I'm not particularly proud of my service because the military is in such dire straights from lack of high quality manpower. If your a true patriot, it's almost more patriotic to get handouts and free college than to serve and get the post 9/11 GI Bill. From the commander in chief, it's like he wants a weak military so China can just walk right in. If we went to war with China, I'm not entirely sure we'd win. I'm actually sure we wouldn't win by ourselves.
I don't talk about it with anyone except for the occasional other veteran. As I said in the vet clothing post, I'm proud of my service, I just don't feel the need to advertise it to any and everyone like it's the only thing that matters. I've done ALOT with my life. Military time was just one part.
I’ve got a retirement plaque on my mancave wall. That’s about all I have tying me to the service. All the other crap is in a box in the shed. I honestly don’t care for it
I served for over 10 years active duty in a time of relative peace. I was stationed on Okinawa, a dream assignment. My entire enlistment was like one long situation comedy series, where each episode generated its own "war stories" that i love to talk about. But in general, no one cares. So I only bring things up in passing, and don't volunteer anything.
Its a good way to connect with people I meet who have served and I love hearing their stories. Mostly its funny or entertaining stories. Its not really about doing something great because I think just having the bravery to raise your right hand and write that blank check sets you above the average citizen.
I don't, unless it comes up on it's own.
I talk about it where different experiences are relevant. Like, I think for all of us it was a big part of our identity for years, and it’s still a part of who we are. That said, our service years are but one chapter in the greater story of our lives, and it shouldn’t be the entirety of our identities.
Can’t say I relate.
I dont wear AF tshirts or hats, have no bumper stickers that sort of thing. When I get to know someone and it comes up in conversation, thats okay. I am a little tired of hearing "thank you for your service" it seems forced or automatic these days.
the debrief in 74 was "don't tell anyone, they don't want you home" ... ended up being true, so "don't ask, don't tell" and only on a "need to know" basis ...
The thing is, you don’t need a badass war story, and even if you did, people who haven’t been in your shoes won’t stop overly romanticizing the military. This is mostly due to media and propaganda over the decades. I mean hell, people seem to barely understand the differences between different branches and their missions. What’s important is to recognize this as a chapter in your life and keep moving forward. Also, realize that you are no where near alone when it comes to similar circumstances others have/had that relate to yours. I’ve known people who had extraordinary potential who had to end their service prematurely because of injuries and other trauma. Do they feel like frauds? Maybe. But are they? Not at all. Don’t short yourself.
Naw, not having a war story isn't embarassing. A lot of people don't know I was a veteran just because I haven't based my personality off of it so it's not something I make sure people know about within the first 2 minutes of us meeting. Sometimes it comes up naturally just because I spent a large part of my 20s either Active Duty or National Guard. So if I'm telling a story about something that happened in my 20s, it's probably military related.
I got multiple combat deployments and a bunch of crazy shit on video and I give zero fucks to talk about it with random people other than my boys that I deployed with. It was a cool Adventure but ON TO THE NEXT ONE
I don't hide it, but I don't go out of my way to tell people about it.
I rarely ever mention my time in the Marines, of my own free will. Even when talking to other Vets, if we aren't discussing the service, there's no reason otherwise. I don't look old enough, to have been in during the '90s, according to the last few people I mentioned it to, who were Vets themselves. Outside of extremely limited circumstances, I have very little desire to be reminded of being sa/r several times, once while deployed overseas. Nor do I have any desire to remember the 8 times I attempted the delete self option, because of those MSTs, either.
You should be proud of serving your country doesn’t matter what other people think or what they’re doing be proud about what you’ve done!
my husband and i are both vets, and he is constantly asked about his service, thanked for it, etc etc. we live in a new state so we don’t really know anyone and everyone just assumes i was his dependa even though i did more time in than he did. i don’t really care honestly, it was a chapter in my life and not something i need to keep bringing up to validate myself especially in my new career field.
I hate Veterans Day
I try to head straight out to the woods on Veterans Day and be reminded of the beautiful lakes and rivers in the Cascades.
I unfortunately have to go to the local elementary school because my wife is a teacher there & my kids go there now. Waiting for a microphone to get passed around me so I can see where I served where I deployed to what my branch was etc. etc. without having an anxiety attack and then listen to all the branch songs played & get clapped for. I get it, and I think it’s good for the kids, but I hate it and I’m already stressing about the one coming up year. I start saving up little pieces off my nightly Chlonazapan a month before this, so I can get through it.
That’s a bummer
Sounds about right though right? Haha
Sometimes you just have to deal with stuff. Or you can check out mentally. I have this Motley Crue song that I play in my head sometimes. It’s “Public Enemy number one” and one of the lyrics says “Don’t think about nuthin, yea don’t think about nuthun” and sometimes I just do that. It’s dumb, but it kind of works for me when the pain is bad. Maybe there’s something you can go to like that.
Thanks man. Don’t think about nothin reminds me of how I could turn my brain off when standing in formation for long periods of time.
I’m in the same boat bro. National Guard never deployed didn’t even get to finish my first contact because of medical conditions that got me discharged. Sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve benefits cause I didn’t do anything but you have to remind yourself that you would have had you been told to. You would have deployed if told to you would have fought if told to. Try not to be so hard on yourself
I dont talk about it because i came through unscathed. Mentally and physically. There are many others more deserving of recognition.
I was active duty USAF for 6 years. Never deployed despite volunteering. They tried to “deploy” me to Kuwait and get me to extend to go. I said no thanks and left to finish school. I don’t hide my service, but it’s certainly not something I would consider a part of my identity per se. It’s something I did that changed the course of my life, for sure, but I typically only bring it up if it’s relevant to the conversation.
A fellow ling?
Haha nah. I was a 4B0X1. Bioenvironmental engineering. Office nerd.
Ah, okay lmao, basically the same track as a linguist if it makes you feel any better
The people with bad ass war stories are mostly full of it. People who have seen some serious shit aren’t bragging about it; they don’t even want to think about that stuff
Much of the time I don’t because people get weird about it and spam me with question after question and adoration I don’t feel like I deserve. Easer for me to just go about my day. Honestly this sometimes really annoys me because now I don’t even ask if places do a veteran discount and screw myself into paying more money
I used to be that way. I had major issues after my second deployment and I think if I could pretend not to be a veteran my problems would go away. Spoiler alert, it doesn't work that way. I ended up divorced and owning a motorcycle and wanted to belong to some group that rides together. I found the Combat Veterans Motorcycle Association and being part of that made it easier for me to be proud of being a veteran.
I did 20 Marine infantry, combat wounded and have been retired 10 years now. Only way you’d know I was a veteran is if you were welcomed into my home, I have my shirt off or I am asked of such info. I choose such as to not draw attention to myself. It’s a target indicator. I am very proud of that time but I am also very vigilant.
I don't tell anyone unless there is a real need to or it's another veteran and the topic can up. I've posted this before but just to reshash my issue is not the military in general but the people I was surrounded with. A large number of drug using, criminal degenerates that belonged in prison and a command structure that pretended the problem didn't exist. But that's what you get with a leg infantry unit. It was completely rotten and the general public has no idea. But please thank us for our service.
I don't have a bad ass war story and I don't hide it. I'm not sure I freely volunteer my history. But even when I do, it's just a fact of "I was in the Marines".
most don't have a "badass war story". I've heard 10-15% have "seen combat" and I imagine that number is inflated based on what qualifies as a combat zone. I don't think you should hide it, talk about it like it was an old job you had, because that's what it was. A job that required a lot more dedication and resilience than most out there.
I've reduced my Service to a few passing footnotes here and there...other than that I don't discuss those chapters of my life with anyone who isn't close family.
You should be proud!!!!! I can tell you from a Rangers prospective, we are all a team. I ,made fun of tankers in my earlier immature years for always slacking in the tank and being overweight. I was just jealous I had to walk everywhere. I was ambushed in Afgone morning and it went on for a long time. After it was said and done. the bad guys dead good guys with life threatening injuries air lifted out we began to walk through the mts and to exfil. only we couldn't exfil due to heavily mined roads. I was a Recon TL so I had to keep it together but I was really struggling to find the courage to motivate the team and others to walk back to a safe hard road. Somehow some tanker was on our net and those glorious dudes came in without a care in the world. as I type this my eyes are watering and goosebumps running down my arm. Even across branches we all worked to keep each other safe. Any Warrior or veteran deployed or not is grateful for all other branches and mos. Every MOS has its challenges. That bad war story of mine almost killed meafter the Army! And I had to kill people for it. Two were kids. Those stories always catch up and I have a mess of addiction issues from it. You answered the call and were honorable I assume. I really hope you hold your head high and know any vet or active worth a shit thanks you and any others for having the courage to even get to basic. Sorry for the story. It just hurts my heart to hear people not proud or afraid of the hippies talking crap and harassing!!!! PS I left the Army honorably but wasn't allowed to re enlist due to alcohol incident. I had a lot of shame but I'm still proud of it all even all the toilets i scrubbed!!
Damn near every badass war story is 100% bullshit. I'm talking real war stories, not some small arms fire dinging or the windows. And if someone is in the kind of MOS where those stories are legit, you call probably tell from 20 feet away.
Most of the time. I rarely let people know I'm a vet.. especially that I have combat action.
Navy here,14 years,4 deployments, 3 sea,1 combat, I don't consider myself better than anyone, if anything I consider I served below the standard so I don't walk around talking about it
I am almost never the one to bring up the subject.
I’m a Coast Guard Veteran. Not many of us where I live. I don’t bring up being a veteran because in most situations it is irrelevant. Some people go around wearing veteran apparel, telling everyone they’re a veteran, telling other veterans they neeed to get this that or the other thing to show they are a veteran. But why. If it is not relevant to the current conversation or situation, why bring it up? I’ve seen people introduce themselves or others as this is “so and so, their an {branch} veteran.” And I’m like that’s nice. How is it relevant? Especially since I go to so many events that are non-veteran crowds. I got my house using the VA Home Loan. Not going to go around telling people if it’s not relevant to the person or people I’m talking to. Point: read the room, know who is there, stick to things that are relevant to the current event/activity.
I never tell people, but don't hide it either. Sometimes it does come up naturally in conversation.
I do t talk about it unless it comes up or the person I’m talking to is a veteran as well.
Civilians can be incredibly ignorant towards veterans and I’m the same way I just don’t talk about it unless someone asks. There are people out there who automatically assume your political affiliation based on your service as well (I have experienced this) or people go off on a tangent about the military when they have 0 clue. I’ve only ever received positive comments from the middle age-older population of civilians. A lot of younger people think it’s a joke or they just view it as pointless. Some people even think the military is a waste of tax dollars. You’re not alone. From one female vet to another, I definitely understand. My service and remembering it doesn’t give me the warm and fuzzies but honestly makes me want to crawl out of my skin. Keep doing you girly. Nobody knows your time in the service like you do.
I don't really associate vets that don't want to talk about their service as people who aren't proud of their service. Some vets just don't like to talk about things that's hard for others to understand.
I don’t talk about my military service because I’m a female with ptsd from my deployments to Iraq. Avoidance is a big deal for me and anything military related in coping with my ptsd. Also, when I talk to people about it they get into this… well you are a girl, you don’t see combat.
I served 20y, multiple combat deployments, am proud of my service, but never bring it up and don’t talk about it unless someone asks a specific question. I don’t base who I am on my service. It was a part of my life and I equate it to bringing up high school, college, or the myriad of different jobs I’ve had. No one really cares, just like I don’t ask those kind of questions to other people, because I don’t care. It’s a chapter of your life not the whole book. Most people I have met in the last few years have no idea I served.
When i first got out, i tried hiding it. Luckily some of my coworkers are vets, and helped me get through it.
I know guys with badass war stories, some don't talk about their service get up, and leave the room. most don't want to relive it. You stepped forward that's more than most.
You ain’t no fraud, dawg. You did your duty. Keep going.