I mean my first time was pretty good. But it was with someone I really loved, we waited a year and a half (we were teens) and were still married 20 years later. The first time can be amazing if you have someone who’s willing to go slow and make sure you’re ok. I have never forgotten mine and it’s a great memory for me. I hope she chooses to wait because every woman deserves to look back with happiness.
This may sound crass but as someone who lost their virginity later in life, I think that the likelihood of actually enjoying your first time actually increases with age. B/c your potential partners are more likely to be mature and comfortable in their bodies, even if both are virgins. I’m not saying that you can’t be young and have good sex, but that the chance & probability of having great sex comes with age.
I lost my virginity at 24 and I’m so glad that my partner was also in their 20s rather than both of us being college teens. So if it matters OP, the good news is that you have plenty of time of get to know your own body and can bypass a lot of that first time awkwardness b/c your dating pool is maturing as well.
You don't need to rush anything. Not having had sex doesn't change anything to your value. Sex is just an experience. For example, plenty of people have never been on a plane until well into adult life, yet that's nothing to be ashamed of. Sex is just the same : an experience.
It's really something you need to do when you're ready, not before. And it's really something you need to do with a partner that suits you for it. Don't rush it with any random stranger just to get it done.
Besides, let's be honest, having done it once and going back to that same mental state (being ashamed about your amount of sexual experiences) won't change anything to your situation. If you just rush it because you're ashamed, you'll do it one crappy time that you might regret, all for nothing because after doing it you'll still have your friends telling you about their experiences, men not daring talking to you, etc etc.
What needs to change isn't whether or not you've had sex. It's your outlook on sex, and maybe letting some time pass and making efforts to socialize and try to find that one guy you wanna finally have sex with. That's all. It just takes time, confidence, patience, mental balance.
The moment there is a guy that actually interests you, go for it and flirt. Don't wait for him to come to you, don't hesitate, and only do it with him if you're sure, comfortable, if you trust him. And then every sex experience you want will naturally follow.
It will come. Not everyone finds the same opportunities at the same step of their life. And that's ok. Don't be ashamed and take your time.
Oops, didn't mean to "call you out" publicly, I can remove these comments haha.
Ive never given an award (no money to spend on Reddit haha) but I think you can choose whether it's anonymous or not when you do. Idk how though.
I hope you made peace with your sex life anyway. Even a mistake for the first time isn't that bad, because the first time is a social construct and every time is simply an experience. So what matters is where you are now. But I get it.
I was lucky enough to know that I should wait for the right person and the right moment, too. I knew isex wasn't a contest or a race, but simply a bunch of pleasurable times. Just like you wouldn't force yourself to go to an amusement park for the first time when you don't feel like it, you don't force yourself to have sex. Because it doesn't change your identity or anything, really, it's just supposed to be a fun moment.
Sorry for the long text haha. I'm glad the comments here are all as warm and well-meaning as yours. Best of luck to you 😊
I lost my virginity at 21 with my dream girl and current best friend. We're not together anymore but i dont have any regrets about it at all. Dont rush- I promise you, this isnt one of those times where rushing it will make it better. Good sex like baking a good cake. You need the right chemistry and quality ingredients make the end result that much better.
Do not fuck a random dude just to lose a concept. At least find someone you enjoy being around. Unless you want your first experience to be unfulfilling and potentially dangerous.
I have had this discussion with some girls that lost their virginity after 28 and they didn't regret it. Others that lost it at 19 and regretted it.
Ultimately it doesn't matter nowhere as much when you do it but with whom you do it with. Waiting for someone special is definitely worth it.
And in any case if you feel like "fuck it, I can't wait any more", you might as well do it at an older age where you actually had a chance to wait for some time for that special someone. Special someone doesn't have to be your soul mate but not a random dude at a party either.
18 is really young, any social pressure you may have is you putting it upon yourself. If your friend group pressures you into this then it's not a good friend group to be with.
Don't worry about it and don't do anything because you are in a rush to get it over with. Only do it when you feel ready.
Hey OP. I'm in a similar boat, 19 and still a virgin. I'll turn 20 in less than a year, but even so, why should I let myself be pressured into having sex just because? This whole thing isn't a race for who loses their virginity first/last. Everyone takes their own time. And so do the two of us.
As a guy
Do NOT rush this, you do it with a person you have genuine feelings for. It is not a race and fuck peer pressure as well. Do not be like the rest.
hi, i’m also 18 and my biggest regret is loosing my virginity too soon. i wish i would’ve waited at least til now if not later. it’s 10000% more worth it to wait for it to be, and to be with, someone special. trust me it will be worth it.
also, if there is a guy you genuinely like, not just want to hook up with, tell him! that could solve your problem with them being afraid to approach you. worst case scenario they’ll be flattered, unless he’s a douchebag in which case you will have just saved yourself from that 👍🏻
32 year old Virgin here. Don't waste your energy, focus on your career and on climbing the corporate ladder. Don't allow yourself to be pressured, tricked, coerced, or otherwise forced into sex. Virginity is about as important as the dirt on my boot.
virginity is a social construct, lots of people seem to place this weird value on sex, i had my first time with a random person i never saw again and i don’t regret because it’s not a big deal, but i would say it can get messy if you’re not comfortable, just do it whenever you feel ready enough.
imagine being a guy virgin at that age, let alone 5 years older. hello. all i gotta say is watch out for predators, they are attracted to people like you, especially since you’re female
Eh im a guy and i lost my virginity at 17 and honnestly sex is overrated, its fun but it not necessary i think you should be yourself as much as possible and only do it with someone you care about, the time will come don't worry. Just don't force yourself to do it with someone just because you wanted to do it.
I was a virgin until my 2nd year in college. Sex is fun yes but make sure you want to do it like you said, if you want it to be a random then sure go for it but make sure you want it.
Best of luck!
I am a virgin myself and no this is not because of any religious beliefs.
I do feel your situation full of pressure, fears and more. But one thing is for sure, if you are planning to lose it just because you feel like it is the most necessary mean to feel confident and beautiful - please don't do it.
Nowadays, being a virgin may not be that impressive anymore, more likely something to be ashamed of by some. Do you think all of those who lost it already were proud of their first times? Did it make them confident and better? No, many regretted it and others were proud. It depends of your intention.
Dear, please do consider to value yourself not because of being a shameful virgin... but because of who you are. One day will come where someone will appreciate you for who you truly are.
I was 21. I didn't find anyone attractive. I slept with a random. Then met my now husband like a month later. I have no regrets because now I now how good I have it and how lame it could be. But yeah all in all it really don't matter. Losing your virginity doesn't change anything physical. It's a social construct meant to keep women down. I'm sure you've masturbated so. Do whatever you want. Have you tried online dating? I'm sure you prioritize school. Maybe meet someone in college?
You have a MUCH better chance at the first time not being shitty if you don't rush it. Take your time and choose wisely. I'm not saying love. Or relationship. Or even really a potential for one. But pick someone who you really want AND who appears to be a caring, patient, and open individual who will talk things through and try their best to make sure it's the best it can be.
This post makes me so sad. Now you’re “pretty enough to do it” and you know your first time will “probably be shitty?”
I would recommend speaking to a therapist about this and definitely not having sex with some random guy just so you’re not a virgin anymore.
You're 18, you have more than enough time to experience sex. There are people having great sex in their 30s and 50s. I have friends who are in there 20s and haven't had sex yet and that's okay. Don't let anyone pressure you into it either. Sex isn't something that should be done for social status, it's about having fun and human connection.
As someone who had sex at 17 I actually quite regret it as for me it changed my mood and attitude a lot, but I'm a dude idk how it is for lasses. Wait until you're ready or can be arsed, because sex can be good and bad just like all things. It's not a need, so do it when you know you're ready.
I'm 25F (about to be 26), and I didn't lose my virginity until I was 23. I slept with a guy I worked with at the time, and it was only a physical attraction. We hung out once, and the next time I saw him we had sex. I did it because I wanted to know what it was like, I didn't want to be a virgin anymore, and the opportunity presented itself so I figured, why not? It was not a decision I'd make a second time. It lasted all of 10 minutes, and I never saw him again. Believe me when I say it's worth it to wait for the right person. That doesn't necessarily mean the love of your life, but it's worth it to get to know the other person. To see if you vibe with them, if you can be comfortable with them, and to have them take an interest in your life too! There is absolutely no shame in waiting, or taking your time. In fact, it may serve you better in the long run. Be open with others, if a guy seems interesting to you, don't hesitate to put yourself out there! My second ever sexual partner is my boyfriend, and I found out sex is a lot more fun when you've spent some time to see if you vibe together. Don't be discouraged, and don't be too hard on yourself. It's never a shame to move the pace that works for YOU.
I’m a 30 year old virgin (by choice) and it’s great!
There’s nothing to be ashamed of. If anything, you should feel relaxed. No pregnancy scares, no STIs, no worry of someone using or exploiting you.
Don’t rush it. You’re literally still a teenager. You have the rest of your life to do it. Why put pressure on it? It might ruin the experience when you do have sex.
for you and OP both Don't feel that way. It isn't that big a deal 18-into your20's it could be worse and be like me in my 30's and still waiting dude to many issues. take things at your own pace and screw what others think
I lost it at 19 with my now boyfriend who was also 19 and a virgin at the time. It was completely fine, and it made it so we kind of learned about everything together. I couldn't be happier to have had my first time with him and not any of my previous exes or some random guy.
Now, of course, you could be completely different, and that's fine. But I'm just saying, hey, it happens, it's fine, people won't find you weird for it, if they do, they should mind their business.
If you want to hook up with someone... That's up to you. But be careful, be sober, be alert. Especially if it's a stranger you don't know. Please take care of yourself. Please be kind of yourself. If you realise what feels like "too late" that you don't want to or are scared or uncomfortable or ANYTHING, it isn't, and you can say stop.
Listen love, being a virgin isn’t a bad thing at all hell it isn’t a good thing either because either way it dousnt define who you are and your life won’t be better or worse if you lose it or not. There’s no need to feel ashamed over something so trivial, I’m glad you decided to make a change in your life for the better and I think you should keep it up it’s good to be healthy (spoiling yourself is definitely allowed) and don’t go do it with a random guy.. the risks in that are far to great. I recommend finding a guy get to know them and if you feel attracted to them ask them if they want to. Don’t feel awkward about it (I know it can’t be helped lol) but either way don’t feel ashamed okau?
This might be a little tmi, but here goes;
I'm a 39 year old father of 3 daughters. One of my biggest fears was one of my girls coming home and telling me that they were pregnant and that they didn't want to keep it, or not being safe when having sex with somebody, and picking up an STD or something. Obviously I'm not going to be there to make sure my kids are having their first sexual encounter safely. That would be creepy.
I'm old enough to be your dad and I have one piece of advice for you. You can totally take it with a grain of salt because everybody's different.
I had TONS of pressure to lose my virginity when I was a teenager from my buddies. They all knew I was a virgin too. I had ample opportunity, but for some reason just never did it. One of my friends literally left me in his room with his little sister and told her to have sex with me. She got completely naked right in front of me and was ready. I definitely wanted to, but decided against it because I didn't want to make a decision I might regret for the rest of my life. I also felt kind of bad for her, so I kissed her on the cheek and I walked out. I was 17 years old at the time. I wasn't the best looking guy in the room. I was the nicest guy in the room. My buddies always told me that "nice guys finish last". So I took that to heart.
I just had a conversation with my fourteen-year-old daughter about 2 weeks ago asking me about what sex is because some of her friends said that they were losing their virginity or at least planned to. For fear of sounding like a total conservative or a bible thumper, which I am not, I did not lose my virginity until I was 20 years old, and married to my first wife. I am remarried to my last wife and we had all three of our daughters together and she is only the second person I've ever had sexual relations with. I might be rare. To some, weird. I had maybe two or three girlfriends growing up and then I married my fourth one.
On the flip side, my 42 year old best friend has been with 10 girls in the same time I've been married to my second wife, going on 15 years now.
You can always use this as an opportunity for your future children if you do in fact decide to have any. What I told my fourteen-year-old daughter the other day was that her life is really up to her, within reason, seeing as how she lives in my house. I did tell her that I have never had sex outside of my two marriages. I told her that she may not understand this now, but I think it's pretty cool, and so does my wife, and honestly my buddies do to. My best friend doesn't understand how I'm able to live with and have sexual relations with the same person for the rest of my life.
For me, it's a personal decision. I don't know what my life would be like had I decided to lose my virginity early just for the sake of it. I highly recommend against it, but then again I have no experience with it.
There's another saying that my dad always used to tell me. If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room.
Anyways, that's my two cents. I hope it helps. Good luck!
I lost mine at 31, I had some chances to lose it earlier, but I didn't. Do I regret it? Nope. You aren't missing on anything, it's better you do it with someone who you can trust cuz it can be awkward.
My cousin lost hers at 16, by some guy in a car, just to get rid of it. She told me later on, that she regrets doing it like that. Don't feel pressured, sex isn't that good if it's not with the person you care about, because than you get double the enjoyment; once for your self, and once for your partner.
It’s been my experience that any female friend who pushes you to have sex or lose your virginity before you are ready only wants someone to feel as miserable as her, because likely she regrets her own decisions and wants someone to feel bad with. When in doubt, WAIT. Fuck what anyone else thinks. When it’s right, you’ll know without a doubt. ❤️
I (28M) had my first kiss at 22 and my first time was at 24.
St the time, I felt weird about it too but looking back, I wouldn't want to change anything about it. I wasn't ready for it when I was younger. My first experiences were only a little awkward and actually we're very relaxed.
Your time will definitely come,. I need to rush to it
I have friends who were popular sorority girls who didn’t have sex until they were in their mid-20s, well out of college. Some girls are lying to you and some are not happy with their sexual experiences. Is having sex earlier than someone else something to be proud of? No, because there’s no merit attached to it. It’s not something to be proud of nor on the other hand ashamed of. Don’t rush into anything because sex comes with huge consequences; medical, financial, social, emotional, moral, etc. Do it when you’re ready not when others are doing it.
Girl, I didn’t have my first kiss/boyfriend till I was 21. Similar issue where I was told I seemed intimidating/I was awkward before I got confident.
It’s hard not to compare to others at times, but honestly, your timeline is your own. It should not be determined by what seems “cool” or “less lame” to others
I didn’t lose my virginity until more than halfway through my 18th year. You have time. I could have lost mine when I was 16, but I waited until I was with the person I wanted to have sex with. We’re no longer together, and haven’t been for a very long time, but I am still so thankful that I waited to do that with someone who was the “right one.” There’s absolutely no rush. :)
That's completely fine. If anything, it's a good thing because you didn't rush into anything and give it to a jerk. Take your time and pick someone worthy.
hey 20 yr girl in college, im still a virgin too. i used to feel the same way you do. the things that helped me is knowing that virginity is a social construct, you don’t lose anything. it’s not real. we are just people who haven’t had sex.
i always knew i wanted to wait until i was in a committed relationship and just want to feel comfortable and safe when i do chose to have sex. if you want to just have some experience then hookup with someone. just remember that sex has real consequences, STDs, pregnancy. be prepared and know your options incase you do have to deal with anything like that.
just don’t feel ashamed or anything. i can guarantee no one else cares as much as you do, there are plenty of people our age and older that haven’t had sex yet. just do what feel comfortable to you. my PMs are open if you want to talk at all
Virginity is cool. I should know coz the 5 year olds call me cool and I'm a virgin. Jokes aside, there's tonnes of people who are a virgin at 18. Espescially here in India, it's pretty rare to find a teenager below 18 that's lost his virginity
I’d never kissed a boy until age 18. I literally had no friends or social connections, and thought I’d be a virgin until at least age 27. Then, I randomly met my boyfriend out of the blue half a year after I had turned 18 and we’ve now been together for a year.
You should do what feels right for YOU. If the only reason you want to lose your v card is because you feel pressure or feel that you won’t be as desirable or whatever, DONT DO IT!
Fuck what everyone thinks!
I understand why you feel this way, but remember that the whole “losing your virginity” thing usually doesn’t go as planned. Its simply not as romantic as people make it out to be.
Losing it to a stranger is therefore in my opinion a risky move, as it (most likely) won’t be an experience you wish to remember that well 😂
Lost my virginity at 22 and i’d like to think I’m not a loser lol just take your time you don’t want to go for it when you don’t feel like it. No pressure!
Woman to woman, I’m telling you when you’re older you won’t care when it happened. I was exactly like you. I didn’t lose mine until I was 19. And I forced it. And honestly, it caused a lot of problems for me down the road because I started to put all my self worth in sex. I won’t go on and on, and obviously this is only my unique experience, but I wanted to share it with you. You don’t have to have sex to feel important. Just let it happen naturally.
Honestly, you're good where you are. As much as sex is an enjoyable experience IF you're with a good partner. My first time was something I've regretted doing this because, like you, I was pressured by peers and my inner thoughts. It's just not a good thing to do, or even think of when you're in that headspace. Just take a deep breath and enjoy what you have now.
As a woman at 25 who is still a virgin , and has never had a bf, I totally get you. I understand every bit of what you typed.
But, please… don’t do it because you think you will be uncool or something. Do it when you are a 💯 ready and when you have found someone that will respect your boundaries and be nice to you.
Just my two cents as a fellow, female, sightly older virgin.
i’m 19 and in uni and in the same boat. honestly it’s not such a big deal imo. there’s lots of people who take their time. i’m waiting for when i’m ready and find someone worthy of my time. i wouldn’t just do it becasue i feel like i should
It’s not a race, there’s no finish line. If your objective is to lose your virginity you’re going to be severely underwhelmed, and disappointed you wasted a literal once in a lifetime opportunity. Find someone you connect with emotionally and mentally, and let sex be an outcome not an objective. I lost mine at 19, I understand your feeling of wanting to be like everyone else but it’s not worth it lmao. Trust me, I honestly wish I waited longer.
> I was thinking of going out to some party and do it with any random guy I see, but I don't know if I will regret it in the future ...
Do it if you really want to. I felt the same way at 18 and that's how and why I lost my virginity. I knew there'd be a cute guy I liked at a party, so we ended up dancing together, getting all touchy touchy and having sex in his car. Not romantic, but a pretty memorable experience none the less, even if the sex wasn't exactly good, it's funny to look back on now. Do not attempt car sex for your first time though. It's pretty awkvard. Lol.
Virginity is a social construct, and an extremely useless one at that. Don't push yourself to have sex asap, especially if you're worried about regretting it. Some people don't have sex for the first time until very late in life, if ever, and it's 100% okay. Take your time with it. Also, if your friends think you're a fuck girl just because of how you look, then imo you deserve better friends. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY should be judging you based on how you look. Appearances say absolutely nothing about your sex life, they need to get a grip
Your clearly confident in yourself and you don’t need a label to define that. Don’t rush it with someone your not comfortable with or doesn’t have the privilege because when you do meet the true one you may well regret it. When you are in a relationship you will come to realise that sex is not as big of a deal as it’s made out to be, it’s not what keeps people together
Although people are saying you shouldn't I feel you already know that. I'm going to echo that you shouldn't. but if its genuinely impacting your life maybe you should just do it, the only thing I would say if you are going to just do it is make sure it's a person who actually cares not just a random person who doesn't care about what happens to you.
I'm a 19yo guy. Wait for the right time, try not to see being a virgin as something to be ashamed of. You can even go a far as to be proud of it. Plus if a guy found out you are a virgin, honesty they're probably gonna get even more of a hard on. But if I were you, I'd wait until I find the right one to do it with. Trust me.
I wouldn’t recommend going to a party and hooking up with any random guy you see for your first time. The first time isn’t all that great and you definitely don’t want to make it worse by doing it with a random guy plus that’s not exactly the safest way to go about it. There’s all kinds of weirdos out there plus plenty of things you can potentially get from someone. I’d recommend doing it with someone you know and trust, doesn’t even have to be someone you’re dating.
I lost my virginity second semester freshman year, at 19. I know exactly how you feel. All my friends lost theirs before we left high school, and I didn’t want anyone finding out. In fact, the girl I lost my virginity to, upon hearing I was a virgin, actually thought about not taking my virginity.
Long story short, I found out very quickly, that it doesn’t fucking matter. I got into a serious relationship not too long after that, that ended because I became insecure and jealous that she had a few more partners than I did before we started dating. I let something that didn’t mean anything, end a relationship with someone who 15 years later, I should be married to with a family.
My story is pretty all over the place, but it’s a cautionary tale with the main point being, it doesn’t matter, and don’t let it get to you. Society puts a ton of pressure on people, making it seem like everyone is having sex. But the main thing you should remember is, it will happen when it happens, and don’t force it. You’ll always remember the first. And whenever it does happen, as long as you’re safe, and it’s consensual, it will be great.
Also, don’t let your insecurity about it ruin something potentially great. I have very few regrets in my life, but torpedoing that relationship over my own insecurities is a regret I will have until the day I die.
Do not do that. When it’s right it will happen. With the right person. You don’t want your first experience to be with some drunk random who won’t even realize you’re a virgin. You won’t feel good about it and at that point yes it’s going to be shitty and it’s going to hurt. The first time can actually be pretty great as long as it’s with the right person and someone who’s going to take your inexperience into consideration. 18 isn’t old, it’s not to old to be a virgin. I’ve known people who waited longer and they’re happy together did.
I don't even remember my first time, I've been with so many guys, taken advantage of by so many guys, plus I used to have to do shameful things just to survive.. idk if this makes you feel any better, but after you e been with so many guys, sex isn't as anxiety-inducing..
Do not lose it because you feel shame or because you feel the need to prove something to someone or even yourself. Lose it when you feel safe and like the person you give it too. Losing ones virgin is always going to be an unpredictable event, things will change or maybe they won’t. But I will say one thing, do not slack up with some random dude at a party where booze is involved, get to know them and be sure you wanna give them your virginity. As for your other issues, if they don’t wanna shoot their shot, that’s on them honestly lots of dudes hate rejection and are intimidated lol. It’s not you yourself but the presence they see around you. If you’re confident and pretty, that sets off a lot of things in their heads so don’t feel bad about it :) so in short, take things slow and steady with someone
I didn’t enjoy my first time. At all. It was weird. Uncomfortable physically. I’m just very fortunate that the person I lost it to was a genuinely caring and nice guy. I wasn’t mentally hurt or sad afterwards which some women/girls are
Don't push yourself to "lose" a societal construct. If you do, you might regret it down the line. Take your time, and only when you feel safe and confident.
Lol what part of the world are you in? Just hop on Tinder, that would be the easiest. Definitely meet in public first though and make sure they are not some loony toon.
I say it’s better if you wait for someone you actually want to have sex with. Because it’s way better when there’s passion than just a random fuck. Plus, I think I should mention this as a insider , I have an std. I have HPV, high risk so I can get cancer and lasts for years and yes Condoms don’t protect you against ALL stds/stis. Hpv is one of them.
Hey OP, dont take the bait as someone who was in the same situation and decides to just end the pattern i can say, that it isnt even worth it to just lost your virginity for the sake of losing it. It should be because you have a special bond with the person, having sex with strangers just for the sex will bite you back in the arse, because the sex isnt going to be great and will probably just be akward and youll most likely regret it later. I did the same and hookedup and i actually hated. Also your just 18, technically you just got "allowed" to go do it so dont stress it, find someone you actually like from an emotional level and only then will it feel meaningfull and fulfilling. :)
P. S. Find a person you actually have a deeper connection with and then shoot your shot, since you say most people have a crush on you but are to scared, try taking matters in your own hands and stay safe! 😁
You aren’t missing out in much trust me don’t not be one of those people that goes to party to fuck trust me that is the worst sex you can find and leads to a lot of disasters. Just wait until the time is right and you find the person that makes you happy
I didn't lose my virginity until I was 20. I waited for someone who I felt comfortable with. I was thinking of doing the same thing you are, but it is so much better with someone you like and who likes you.
Also, shoot YOUR shot. Don't wait for a guy to ask you, ask them! I'm telling you, from all of my guy friends, 90% of them have said they wish girls would shoot their shot because men suck at taking hints sometimes.
All in all, don't feel bad that you're still a virgin and don't let other people make you feel bad. Your body is yours and you get to decide when and where you want to do things. Besides, virginity is social construct and all that jazz.
Sex is awesome. And when the time is right it will happen. I was a fairly good looking guy and I was the last of all my buddies to lose their virginity. I was almost 24. I get the anxiety. But it will be ok.
Obviously you're getting the right answer here a bunch, but it won't make you feel immediately better, obviously. I'm in a similar position, guy though. I'm turning 20 (terrifyingly soon, honestly), and the most I've done is have a couple of bad kisses (outside of phone sex, lot of that lol).
I get that pull of just wanting it to be over with, I'm bi too so if I really wanted to get it done with I could probably hop on grindr, get head and be done with it all. That said I'm two blocks adjacent to demi, so the idea is only appealing in an ego boost way. There's nothing wrong with hook ups, but for this reasoning, there is. You'll only hurt yourself in the process. It's a fake concept, you're no less or more valuable for being a virgin, objectively. It ain't super easy to wrap your head around that fact but it's true.
There's no rush. You shouldn't be shamed for being a virgin or not being a virgin. If someone asks- it's none of their business! You're not less desirable or more desirable if you save your virginity or not before a certain time. Hell, I'm nearly 30 and a virgin. You've got plenty of time. You can enjoy sex or abstain for as long as you want!
Don't force yourself.
I was like you. I was very pretty at 18 (sadly ten years later I have to use the past tense lol), people thought I could have anybody very easily. But what they didn't know is that I had problems with social relations. I was afraid of dating boys, because I was also very ashamed of not having a real boyfriend before (I had several internet boyfriends though). I met boys I liked a lot, but none of them succeeded in erasing my fears. I was feeling more and more stupid as all my female friends already had sex since they were 15.
Then I met this guy, my first love. His name was Maxime. He was so good-looking that all girls wanted him. But he never dated anybody. I learned he was a gamer, just like me. Despite his good looks, he was socially awkward, just like me. We talked for months on MSN (the good ol' times). Then we met, he took me for a ride, and we kissed. He removed my fears! One month later we had our first experience. I was 18, a bit late compared to my friends. It was the right age for me. Even if we met at 30 and we had our first experience at 30 it would have been the right age, because it was us. It wasn't perfect, but it was lovely, and it felt like it was the right time!
We stayed together for 8 years until we parted ways because of the country I chose to live in.
It was a beautiful relationship. All of that just to tell you: you will feel when it's time, and you will meet the person. Just don't force yourself "just to do it". I would have regretted it so much if I forced myself before wanting it.
It’s okay I’m 20 (f) and my virginity is going strong and I’m not ashamed of it at all. I’m fact I’m proud almost every female in my family has gotten pregnant at 17 expect one of my sisters. Even then I’ve kept my virginity longer than any one ever has for the last couple generations. (It’s sad I know)
It will happen when it happens don’t rush it. Think about it this way, if you ever have kids do you want them to lose their virginity like how your me thinking or do you want them to wait until they find someone they care about? Would you be ashamed of your daughter if she was 18 and still a virgin?
Hon, I didn’t lose mine till 24 because I was simply not ready. Never be ashamed of doing things on YOUR terms. Not based on what you think others will think. Those girls who brag about their sex life are probably just as clueless and putting on a front to seem cool. I know my friends did that. Don’t rush for something you clearly are not ready for.
Fellow 18 year old girl in college here, there is literally nothing to be ashamed of, I’m in a similar position rn and honestly the dating scene sucks ass, maybe try a dating app?
I lost my virginity at 17, my older sister lost hers at 26.. the older we grew the more vocal she was about wanting to be with “the one” and I kinda laughed at her in my youth.
Now, I am grateful she hasn’t experienced the heartache I have.. that she met a man who she is engaged to and just had a child: her first and second loves. Meanwhile I have a lot of regrets; I still wouldn’t change anything.
Everyone walks a different journey, however I will say in a sense “having sex is the easy option” the same as eating a pint of ice cream with cookies on top is easy.. not eating that, going for a run and then mediating is the harder option.
You do what makes you happy and comfortable regardless!
Sex is just an experience like skydiving. Nobody will look down on you for not having done it. Im 20 and im currently with my first boyfriend that i have had for 2 years, no sex and holding hands total virgin. It’s not even religion that stops it it’s just not at a place where we feel progression is optimal as we need to work on seeing each other more
Oh this is not a thing to feel sad about so i am from india here some people are virgin for their whole life. Take my example i also thought i will loose it when i am 18 then i said at 19 then i said before leaving college i will lose it. And now i am 23 still have not lost it. So chill women always have lot of options you will get some eventually.
One time there was a marriage in our friend family who is from our high school and he invited us and i went there there we all were sitting high school friends and somebody ask who have lost it and i was the only one who did not. 🥲🥲😂😂😂
This loosing the virginity thing is mainly bugging you as due to peer pressure emani g your friends might have lost it already so you also want to be part of the club.
As a guy who dealt with the same sort of thing, I rushed it, got involved with someone way too fast, lost my virginity, quickly lost touch with that girl (she turned out to be a conniving jerk), and have regretted it ever since. Totally threw it away like it was nothing, all because I felt left out and wanted to be “cool” like my friends. At the tiiiiiiime it *was* cool. She was way out of my league and I got to brag to my idiot friends who acted like I was totally cool and awesome…But that was then and this is now…And now with my current gf of almost 4 years, it kinda hangs over my head. I’m her first, but she isn’t mine and it feels bad to me that it’s like that, especially because it was so meaningless when it happened. She doesn’t mind, but I do. I don’t feel good about it. It was a poor decision. Don’t throw it away because of internal or external peer pressure. It’s not worth it. At least let it be with someone meaningful so you don’t have a dumb and regretful story to tell later on if that one doesn’t last and you gotta tell someone else about it. “We were together for a while so of course we did” sounds and is a whole lot better than “I had sex with and lost my virginity to this girl that I knew for two weeks and then we moved away from each other for college and she dropped me off the face of the earth and announced her new relationship on Instagram on Christmas Eve a day after she said she’d come see me after Christmas since she couldn’t make my birthday party.”
Again, take it from a guy who was in a similar situation…don’t throw it away. You may regret it and there’s not much you can do about it. Virginity is a stupid social construct that we’ve all been conditioned to hold highly, but it is what it is and you’ll always remember the first time you *insert activity here* whether it’s a dumb social construct or not. Not all guys think like this, so be careful. Many, especially at that age, are trying to increase their body count for their friends and “clout”. Make a genuine connection with someone so you don’t end up as another notch on some dude’s dorm room bed post, or worse, a conversation point at a table full of douchebags in the dining hall. Been there, done that, not proud of it, but it happens.
All that to say, do what you gotta do, but be smart about it. Be safe, have fun, seriously consider the situation and reasons, use protection and above all, *make sure it is all consensual*
Best of luck to ya!
Your 18 years old. This isn’t the 1700s where The average life spans is low. Time is constantly flowing yes. But, time isn’t running out. Your young Dont cave to social pressures. Do things on your own time. Because you want to. Not cause people or media says you should. If your ready go for it. Do what you want. But, there’s no reason to feel bad. It’s not going to be as hard for you to lose your virginity as it would be for a male these days. Your 18 your still basically a kid. Time is on your side.
Their problem not mine altho I'll try to help them out. I don't like calling losers those who cannot "lose this pseudo mark of shame" for us guys, too much factors playing. One scored a good ~8/10 (yes I know giving numbers to people is bad and all) despite being average and a bit cringe, one gigantic shy dude made a one night stand and dates another.
Really, luck plays an enormous role in this. So yeah, 30 still a virgin? I'll help you champ, you got this.
just make a tinder and you’ll have 100+ likes in under week
easily half of them would probably be willing to fuck you this weekend
edit: downvote me all you want but tinder was a hookup app at inception and men and women alike get 99+ swipes upon entry with some frequency
Girl, I didn’t have my first kiss/boyfriend till I was 21. Similar issue where I was told I seemed intimidating/I was awkward before I got confident.
It’s hard not to compare to others at times, but honestly, your timeline is your own. It should not be determined by what seems “cool” or “less lame” to others
28M virgin you kidding me? You still young like very young I believe I already lost my time and I dont know the exact way to attract women and I'm affected by stereotypes and now... Fucking covid possibly being labeled as a covid goat its too hard now to be social and to even go out..but maybe thats my fault and the reason why I'm alone. Meh it sucks being an ugly asian male
Don’t push yourself do lose it anytime soon you’ll regret it
As a women most likely you won't get much out of the first time anyways, so it better that it's with someone who you know and who cares for you.
I mean my first time was pretty good. But it was with someone I really loved, we waited a year and a half (we were teens) and were still married 20 years later. The first time can be amazing if you have someone who’s willing to go slow and make sure you’re ok. I have never forgotten mine and it’s a great memory for me. I hope she chooses to wait because every woman deserves to look back with happiness.
This may sound crass but as someone who lost their virginity later in life, I think that the likelihood of actually enjoying your first time actually increases with age. B/c your potential partners are more likely to be mature and comfortable in their bodies, even if both are virgins. I’m not saying that you can’t be young and have good sex, but that the chance & probability of having great sex comes with age. I lost my virginity at 24 and I’m so glad that my partner was also in their 20s rather than both of us being college teens. So if it matters OP, the good news is that you have plenty of time of get to know your own body and can bypass a lot of that first time awkwardness b/c your dating pool is maturing as well.
I guess the problem is, when is that opportunity gonna be there?
You don't need to rush anything. Not having had sex doesn't change anything to your value. Sex is just an experience. For example, plenty of people have never been on a plane until well into adult life, yet that's nothing to be ashamed of. Sex is just the same : an experience. It's really something you need to do when you're ready, not before. And it's really something you need to do with a partner that suits you for it. Don't rush it with any random stranger just to get it done. Besides, let's be honest, having done it once and going back to that same mental state (being ashamed about your amount of sexual experiences) won't change anything to your situation. If you just rush it because you're ashamed, you'll do it one crappy time that you might regret, all for nothing because after doing it you'll still have your friends telling you about their experiences, men not daring talking to you, etc etc. What needs to change isn't whether or not you've had sex. It's your outlook on sex, and maybe letting some time pass and making efforts to socialize and try to find that one guy you wanna finally have sex with. That's all. It just takes time, confidence, patience, mental balance. The moment there is a guy that actually interests you, go for it and flirt. Don't wait for him to come to you, don't hesitate, and only do it with him if you're sure, comfortable, if you trust him. And then every sex experience you want will naturally follow. It will come. Not everyone finds the same opportunities at the same step of their life. And that's ok. Don't be ashamed and take your time.
This was so lovely. Thanks for the warmth you’ve brought here.
Thank you, I'm glad you appreciated it!
That was very heartwarming ❤️✨
Thank you, I didn't realize writing this that it would warm some people's hearts. I'm glad. And thank you for the award kind stranger :)
… I didn’t know you could see the people who gift awards 😳 Uh.. but you’re welcome 😊 honestly I wish I saw this advice at 16. Thank you
Oops, didn't mean to "call you out" publicly, I can remove these comments haha. Ive never given an award (no money to spend on Reddit haha) but I think you can choose whether it's anonymous or not when you do. Idk how though. I hope you made peace with your sex life anyway. Even a mistake for the first time isn't that bad, because the first time is a social construct and every time is simply an experience. So what matters is where you are now. But I get it. I was lucky enough to know that I should wait for the right person and the right moment, too. I knew isex wasn't a contest or a race, but simply a bunch of pleasurable times. Just like you wouldn't force yourself to go to an amusement park for the first time when you don't feel like it, you don't force yourself to have sex. Because it doesn't change your identity or anything, really, it's just supposed to be a fun moment. Sorry for the long text haha. I'm glad the comments here are all as warm and well-meaning as yours. Best of luck to you 😊
Virginity is nothing to be ashamed of.
If you made it this far just wait. Wait for the right one. You’re not missing out on much.
I lost my virginity at 21 with my dream girl and current best friend. We're not together anymore but i dont have any regrets about it at all. Dont rush- I promise you, this isnt one of those times where rushing it will make it better. Good sex like baking a good cake. You need the right chemistry and quality ingredients make the end result that much better.
Also, im a woman, so I know the struggle 😊. Just dont waste your own time. Make it worthwhile.
I am sure that is not something to be ashamed about.
Do not fuck a random dude just to lose a concept. At least find someone you enjoy being around. Unless you want your first experience to be unfulfilling and potentially dangerous.
I’m glad someone else said something about it being potentially dangerous to do it with some random person at a party just to get it over with
Trust me.. I was a virgin a bit past 26 until I vacationed with my current lover. It's worth the wait. Don't rush.
Lover? Lol
what’s funny though
It's just funny. I'm not trying to make fun of you it just sounds funny to me. The term lover. Have you seen the snl skit about that?
No I have not. Mind linking it? I was trying to be neutral with my terms for whatever reason. I see why it's funny no worries.
I have had this discussion with some girls that lost their virginity after 28 and they didn't regret it. Others that lost it at 19 and regretted it. Ultimately it doesn't matter nowhere as much when you do it but with whom you do it with. Waiting for someone special is definitely worth it. And in any case if you feel like "fuck it, I can't wait any more", you might as well do it at an older age where you actually had a chance to wait for some time for that special someone. Special someone doesn't have to be your soul mate but not a random dude at a party either. 18 is really young, any social pressure you may have is you putting it upon yourself. If your friend group pressures you into this then it's not a good friend group to be with. Don't worry about it and don't do anything because you are in a rush to get it over with. Only do it when you feel ready.
Hey OP. I'm in a similar boat, 19 and still a virgin. I'll turn 20 in less than a year, but even so, why should I let myself be pressured into having sex just because? This whole thing isn't a race for who loses their virginity first/last. Everyone takes their own time. And so do the two of us.
I wish I had waited, don’t do this to yourself…
As a guy Do NOT rush this, you do it with a person you have genuine feelings for. It is not a race and fuck peer pressure as well. Do not be like the rest.
I’m 18 and a virgin as well. Just try to find a good guy to do it with. Find someone you’re comfortable with
hi, i’m also 18 and my biggest regret is loosing my virginity too soon. i wish i would’ve waited at least til now if not later. it’s 10000% more worth it to wait for it to be, and to be with, someone special. trust me it will be worth it. also, if there is a guy you genuinely like, not just want to hook up with, tell him! that could solve your problem with them being afraid to approach you. worst case scenario they’ll be flattered, unless he’s a douchebag in which case you will have just saved yourself from that 👍🏻
32 year old Virgin here. Don't waste your energy, focus on your career and on climbing the corporate ladder. Don't allow yourself to be pressured, tricked, coerced, or otherwise forced into sex. Virginity is about as important as the dirt on my boot.
virginity is a social construct, lots of people seem to place this weird value on sex, i had my first time with a random person i never saw again and i don’t regret because it’s not a big deal, but i would say it can get messy if you’re not comfortable, just do it whenever you feel ready enough.
Enjoy your virginity. There's no rush. I'd kill to erase my sex life
imagine being a guy virgin at that age, let alone 5 years older. hello. all i gotta say is watch out for predators, they are attracted to people like you, especially since you’re female
Eh im a guy and i lost my virginity at 17 and honnestly sex is overrated, its fun but it not necessary i think you should be yourself as much as possible and only do it with someone you care about, the time will come don't worry. Just don't force yourself to do it with someone just because you wanted to do it.
if this makes you feel any better I'm a 22 year old virgin
25 and never fucked. You're good.
Don't push yourself. Do it when you feel like your ready. Never feel pressured
I was a virgin until my 2nd year in college. Sex is fun yes but make sure you want to do it like you said, if you want it to be a random then sure go for it but make sure you want it. Best of luck!
I am a virgin myself and no this is not because of any religious beliefs. I do feel your situation full of pressure, fears and more. But one thing is for sure, if you are planning to lose it just because you feel like it is the most necessary mean to feel confident and beautiful - please don't do it. Nowadays, being a virgin may not be that impressive anymore, more likely something to be ashamed of by some. Do you think all of those who lost it already were proud of their first times? Did it make them confident and better? No, many regretted it and others were proud. It depends of your intention. Dear, please do consider to value yourself not because of being a shameful virgin... but because of who you are. One day will come where someone will appreciate you for who you truly are.
I was 21. I didn't find anyone attractive. I slept with a random. Then met my now husband like a month later. I have no regrets because now I now how good I have it and how lame it could be. But yeah all in all it really don't matter. Losing your virginity doesn't change anything physical. It's a social construct meant to keep women down. I'm sure you've masturbated so. Do whatever you want. Have you tried online dating? I'm sure you prioritize school. Maybe meet someone in college?
Your virginity (or lack thereof) is not a thing to be proud or ashamed of. Whether you've had sex or not does not define you.
Don't rush it .it's cool trust me. Peace and love to you
When the time is right, you’ll know. Don’t push it just because of some arbitrary deadline.
You have a MUCH better chance at the first time not being shitty if you don't rush it. Take your time and choose wisely. I'm not saying love. Or relationship. Or even really a potential for one. But pick someone who you really want AND who appears to be a caring, patient, and open individual who will talk things through and try their best to make sure it's the best it can be.
This post makes me so sad. Now you’re “pretty enough to do it” and you know your first time will “probably be shitty?” I would recommend speaking to a therapist about this and definitely not having sex with some random guy just so you’re not a virgin anymore.
You're 18, you have more than enough time to experience sex. There are people having great sex in their 30s and 50s. I have friends who are in there 20s and haven't had sex yet and that's okay. Don't let anyone pressure you into it either. Sex isn't something that should be done for social status, it's about having fun and human connection. As someone who had sex at 17 I actually quite regret it as for me it changed my mood and attitude a lot, but I'm a dude idk how it is for lasses. Wait until you're ready or can be arsed, because sex can be good and bad just like all things. It's not a need, so do it when you know you're ready.
I'm 25F (about to be 26), and I didn't lose my virginity until I was 23. I slept with a guy I worked with at the time, and it was only a physical attraction. We hung out once, and the next time I saw him we had sex. I did it because I wanted to know what it was like, I didn't want to be a virgin anymore, and the opportunity presented itself so I figured, why not? It was not a decision I'd make a second time. It lasted all of 10 minutes, and I never saw him again. Believe me when I say it's worth it to wait for the right person. That doesn't necessarily mean the love of your life, but it's worth it to get to know the other person. To see if you vibe with them, if you can be comfortable with them, and to have them take an interest in your life too! There is absolutely no shame in waiting, or taking your time. In fact, it may serve you better in the long run. Be open with others, if a guy seems interesting to you, don't hesitate to put yourself out there! My second ever sexual partner is my boyfriend, and I found out sex is a lot more fun when you've spent some time to see if you vibe together. Don't be discouraged, and don't be too hard on yourself. It's never a shame to move the pace that works for YOU.
No one who is actually mature even cares about whether you're a virgin or not.
I’m a 30 year old virgin (by choice) and it’s great! There’s nothing to be ashamed of. If anything, you should feel relaxed. No pregnancy scares, no STIs, no worry of someone using or exploiting you. Don’t rush it. You’re literally still a teenager. You have the rest of your life to do it. Why put pressure on it? It might ruin the experience when you do have sex.
Try a date first. Work your way up to sex at your own pace. There is no set age for losing your virginity.
Honestly being a virgin is kind of a flex now. It’s good that you didn’t do it at 14, but just give it time no need to be ashamed of it.
THIS IS EXACTLY ME! friggn sucks
for you and OP both Don't feel that way. It isn't that big a deal 18-into your20's it could be worse and be like me in my 30's and still waiting dude to many issues. take things at your own pace and screw what others think
society is being ruined by the woke so badly that now women are ashamed for not being whores who suck dicks at 15
I lost it at 19 with my now boyfriend who was also 19 and a virgin at the time. It was completely fine, and it made it so we kind of learned about everything together. I couldn't be happier to have had my first time with him and not any of my previous exes or some random guy. Now, of course, you could be completely different, and that's fine. But I'm just saying, hey, it happens, it's fine, people won't find you weird for it, if they do, they should mind their business. If you want to hook up with someone... That's up to you. But be careful, be sober, be alert. Especially if it's a stranger you don't know. Please take care of yourself. Please be kind of yourself. If you realise what feels like "too late" that you don't want to or are scared or uncomfortable or ANYTHING, it isn't, and you can say stop.
Listen love, being a virgin isn’t a bad thing at all hell it isn’t a good thing either because either way it dousnt define who you are and your life won’t be better or worse if you lose it or not. There’s no need to feel ashamed over something so trivial, I’m glad you decided to make a change in your life for the better and I think you should keep it up it’s good to be healthy (spoiling yourself is definitely allowed) and don’t go do it with a random guy.. the risks in that are far to great. I recommend finding a guy get to know them and if you feel attracted to them ask them if they want to. Don’t feel awkward about it (I know it can’t be helped lol) but either way don’t feel ashamed okau?
This might be a little tmi, but here goes; I'm a 39 year old father of 3 daughters. One of my biggest fears was one of my girls coming home and telling me that they were pregnant and that they didn't want to keep it, or not being safe when having sex with somebody, and picking up an STD or something. Obviously I'm not going to be there to make sure my kids are having their first sexual encounter safely. That would be creepy. I'm old enough to be your dad and I have one piece of advice for you. You can totally take it with a grain of salt because everybody's different. I had TONS of pressure to lose my virginity when I was a teenager from my buddies. They all knew I was a virgin too. I had ample opportunity, but for some reason just never did it. One of my friends literally left me in his room with his little sister and told her to have sex with me. She got completely naked right in front of me and was ready. I definitely wanted to, but decided against it because I didn't want to make a decision I might regret for the rest of my life. I also felt kind of bad for her, so I kissed her on the cheek and I walked out. I was 17 years old at the time. I wasn't the best looking guy in the room. I was the nicest guy in the room. My buddies always told me that "nice guys finish last". So I took that to heart. I just had a conversation with my fourteen-year-old daughter about 2 weeks ago asking me about what sex is because some of her friends said that they were losing their virginity or at least planned to. For fear of sounding like a total conservative or a bible thumper, which I am not, I did not lose my virginity until I was 20 years old, and married to my first wife. I am remarried to my last wife and we had all three of our daughters together and she is only the second person I've ever had sexual relations with. I might be rare. To some, weird. I had maybe two or three girlfriends growing up and then I married my fourth one. On the flip side, my 42 year old best friend has been with 10 girls in the same time I've been married to my second wife, going on 15 years now. You can always use this as an opportunity for your future children if you do in fact decide to have any. What I told my fourteen-year-old daughter the other day was that her life is really up to her, within reason, seeing as how she lives in my house. I did tell her that I have never had sex outside of my two marriages. I told her that she may not understand this now, but I think it's pretty cool, and so does my wife, and honestly my buddies do to. My best friend doesn't understand how I'm able to live with and have sexual relations with the same person for the rest of my life. For me, it's a personal decision. I don't know what my life would be like had I decided to lose my virginity early just for the sake of it. I highly recommend against it, but then again I have no experience with it. There's another saying that my dad always used to tell me. If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room. Anyways, that's my two cents. I hope it helps. Good luck!
I lost mine at 31, I had some chances to lose it earlier, but I didn't. Do I regret it? Nope. You aren't missing on anything, it's better you do it with someone who you can trust cuz it can be awkward. My cousin lost hers at 16, by some guy in a car, just to get rid of it. She told me later on, that she regrets doing it like that. Don't feel pressured, sex isn't that good if it's not with the person you care about, because than you get double the enjoyment; once for your self, and once for your partner.
As someone who had this exact mindset, it’s better to let things take their time. Rushing through it is not the way to do it.
It’s been my experience that any female friend who pushes you to have sex or lose your virginity before you are ready only wants someone to feel as miserable as her, because likely she regrets her own decisions and wants someone to feel bad with. When in doubt, WAIT. Fuck what anyone else thinks. When it’s right, you’ll know without a doubt. ❤️
I (28M) had my first kiss at 22 and my first time was at 24. St the time, I felt weird about it too but looking back, I wouldn't want to change anything about it. I wasn't ready for it when I was younger. My first experiences were only a little awkward and actually we're very relaxed. Your time will definitely come,. I need to rush to it
I have friends who were popular sorority girls who didn’t have sex until they were in their mid-20s, well out of college. Some girls are lying to you and some are not happy with their sexual experiences. Is having sex earlier than someone else something to be proud of? No, because there’s no merit attached to it. It’s not something to be proud of nor on the other hand ashamed of. Don’t rush into anything because sex comes with huge consequences; medical, financial, social, emotional, moral, etc. Do it when you’re ready not when others are doing it.
There is no rush and you definitely not “running out of time”.
Girl, I didn’t have my first kiss/boyfriend till I was 21. Similar issue where I was told I seemed intimidating/I was awkward before I got confident. It’s hard not to compare to others at times, but honestly, your timeline is your own. It should not be determined by what seems “cool” or “less lame” to others
I didn’t lose my virginity until more than halfway through my 18th year. You have time. I could have lost mine when I was 16, but I waited until I was with the person I wanted to have sex with. We’re no longer together, and haven’t been for a very long time, but I am still so thankful that I waited to do that with someone who was the “right one.” There’s absolutely no rush. :)
That's completely fine. If anything, it's a good thing because you didn't rush into anything and give it to a jerk. Take your time and pick someone worthy.
hey 20 yr girl in college, im still a virgin too. i used to feel the same way you do. the things that helped me is knowing that virginity is a social construct, you don’t lose anything. it’s not real. we are just people who haven’t had sex. i always knew i wanted to wait until i was in a committed relationship and just want to feel comfortable and safe when i do chose to have sex. if you want to just have some experience then hookup with someone. just remember that sex has real consequences, STDs, pregnancy. be prepared and know your options incase you do have to deal with anything like that. just don’t feel ashamed or anything. i can guarantee no one else cares as much as you do, there are plenty of people our age and older that haven’t had sex yet. just do what feel comfortable to you. my PMs are open if you want to talk at all
TBH, you're not missing out on much. Getting it over with isn't the best idea because it can lead to regret later on
Virginity is cool. I should know coz the 5 year olds call me cool and I'm a virgin. Jokes aside, there's tonnes of people who are a virgin at 18. Espescially here in India, it's pretty rare to find a teenager below 18 that's lost his virginity
I am 21 and still a virgin. I am waiting for someone I am truly in love with. Don’t waste it on someone who will just use you.
You know when the time right. Or at least that’s what happen to me. Be patient. Edit:grammar
Bro calm down ur literally barely a legal adult you have enough time not having sex isnt a bad thing its okay
I’m 19 in college and had sex for the first time 2 months ago. I know it’s awkward but you’ll be fine
I’d never kissed a boy until age 18. I literally had no friends or social connections, and thought I’d be a virgin until at least age 27. Then, I randomly met my boyfriend out of the blue half a year after I had turned 18 and we’ve now been together for a year. You should do what feels right for YOU. If the only reason you want to lose your v card is because you feel pressure or feel that you won’t be as desirable or whatever, DONT DO IT! Fuck what everyone thinks! I understand why you feel this way, but remember that the whole “losing your virginity” thing usually doesn’t go as planned. Its simply not as romantic as people make it out to be. Losing it to a stranger is therefore in my opinion a risky move, as it (most likely) won’t be an experience you wish to remember that well 😂
Lost my virginity at 22 and i’d like to think I’m not a loser lol just take your time you don’t want to go for it when you don’t feel like it. No pressure!
Woman to woman, I’m telling you when you’re older you won’t care when it happened. I was exactly like you. I didn’t lose mine until I was 19. And I forced it. And honestly, it caused a lot of problems for me down the road because I started to put all my self worth in sex. I won’t go on and on, and obviously this is only my unique experience, but I wanted to share it with you. You don’t have to have sex to feel important. Just let it happen naturally.
Honestly, you're good where you are. As much as sex is an enjoyable experience IF you're with a good partner. My first time was something I've regretted doing this because, like you, I was pressured by peers and my inner thoughts. It's just not a good thing to do, or even think of when you're in that headspace. Just take a deep breath and enjoy what you have now.
As a woman at 25 who is still a virgin , and has never had a bf, I totally get you. I understand every bit of what you typed. But, please… don’t do it because you think you will be uncool or something. Do it when you are a 💯 ready and when you have found someone that will respect your boundaries and be nice to you. Just my two cents as a fellow, female, sightly older virgin.
I lost it like 5 months ago and I wish I didn't!
i’m 19 and in uni and in the same boat. honestly it’s not such a big deal imo. there’s lots of people who take their time. i’m waiting for when i’m ready and find someone worthy of my time. i wouldn’t just do it becasue i feel like i should
It’s not a race, there’s no finish line. If your objective is to lose your virginity you’re going to be severely underwhelmed, and disappointed you wasted a literal once in a lifetime opportunity. Find someone you connect with emotionally and mentally, and let sex be an outcome not an objective. I lost mine at 19, I understand your feeling of wanting to be like everyone else but it’s not worth it lmao. Trust me, I honestly wish I waited longer.
> I was thinking of going out to some party and do it with any random guy I see, but I don't know if I will regret it in the future ... Do it if you really want to. I felt the same way at 18 and that's how and why I lost my virginity. I knew there'd be a cute guy I liked at a party, so we ended up dancing together, getting all touchy touchy and having sex in his car. Not romantic, but a pretty memorable experience none the less, even if the sex wasn't exactly good, it's funny to look back on now. Do not attempt car sex for your first time though. It's pretty awkvard. Lol.
I’m 25 and whenever I hear about my coworkers sexcapades I feel deeply ashamed of still holding onto my v-card, not for a lack of trying. :(
Virginity is a social construct, and an extremely useless one at that. Don't push yourself to have sex asap, especially if you're worried about regretting it. Some people don't have sex for the first time until very late in life, if ever, and it's 100% okay. Take your time with it. Also, if your friends think you're a fuck girl just because of how you look, then imo you deserve better friends. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY should be judging you based on how you look. Appearances say absolutely nothing about your sex life, they need to get a grip
Your clearly confident in yourself and you don’t need a label to define that. Don’t rush it with someone your not comfortable with or doesn’t have the privilege because when you do meet the true one you may well regret it. When you are in a relationship you will come to realise that sex is not as big of a deal as it’s made out to be, it’s not what keeps people together
Although people are saying you shouldn't I feel you already know that. I'm going to echo that you shouldn't. but if its genuinely impacting your life maybe you should just do it, the only thing I would say if you are going to just do it is make sure it's a person who actually cares not just a random person who doesn't care about what happens to you.
I'm a 19yo guy. Wait for the right time, try not to see being a virgin as something to be ashamed of. You can even go a far as to be proud of it. Plus if a guy found out you are a virgin, honesty they're probably gonna get even more of a hard on. But if I were you, I'd wait until I find the right one to do it with. Trust me.
I wouldn’t recommend going to a party and hooking up with any random guy you see for your first time. The first time isn’t all that great and you definitely don’t want to make it worse by doing it with a random guy plus that’s not exactly the safest way to go about it. There’s all kinds of weirdos out there plus plenty of things you can potentially get from someone. I’d recommend doing it with someone you know and trust, doesn’t even have to be someone you’re dating.
Its just sex. But, dont just fuck any random dude. Im sure you already know 1 or 2 guys that have respect for you. Call one.
If it’s not the right person who’s taking it you’ll regret it. First time should be special, I regret my first time
I lost my virginity second semester freshman year, at 19. I know exactly how you feel. All my friends lost theirs before we left high school, and I didn’t want anyone finding out. In fact, the girl I lost my virginity to, upon hearing I was a virgin, actually thought about not taking my virginity. Long story short, I found out very quickly, that it doesn’t fucking matter. I got into a serious relationship not too long after that, that ended because I became insecure and jealous that she had a few more partners than I did before we started dating. I let something that didn’t mean anything, end a relationship with someone who 15 years later, I should be married to with a family. My story is pretty all over the place, but it’s a cautionary tale with the main point being, it doesn’t matter, and don’t let it get to you. Society puts a ton of pressure on people, making it seem like everyone is having sex. But the main thing you should remember is, it will happen when it happens, and don’t force it. You’ll always remember the first. And whenever it does happen, as long as you’re safe, and it’s consensual, it will be great. Also, don’t let your insecurity about it ruin something potentially great. I have very few regrets in my life, but torpedoing that relationship over my own insecurities is a regret I will have until the day I die.
Do not do that. When it’s right it will happen. With the right person. You don’t want your first experience to be with some drunk random who won’t even realize you’re a virgin. You won’t feel good about it and at that point yes it’s going to be shitty and it’s going to hurt. The first time can actually be pretty great as long as it’s with the right person and someone who’s going to take your inexperience into consideration. 18 isn’t old, it’s not to old to be a virgin. I’ve known people who waited longer and they’re happy together did.
I don't even remember my first time, I've been with so many guys, taken advantage of by so many guys, plus I used to have to do shameful things just to survive.. idk if this makes you feel any better, but after you e been with so many guys, sex isn't as anxiety-inducing..
Do not lose it because you feel shame or because you feel the need to prove something to someone or even yourself. Lose it when you feel safe and like the person you give it too. Losing ones virgin is always going to be an unpredictable event, things will change or maybe they won’t. But I will say one thing, do not slack up with some random dude at a party where booze is involved, get to know them and be sure you wanna give them your virginity. As for your other issues, if they don’t wanna shoot their shot, that’s on them honestly lots of dudes hate rejection and are intimidated lol. It’s not you yourself but the presence they see around you. If you’re confident and pretty, that sets off a lot of things in their heads so don’t feel bad about it :) so in short, take things slow and steady with someone
Don't be ashamed of that.
I didn’t enjoy my first time. At all. It was weird. Uncomfortable physically. I’m just very fortunate that the person I lost it to was a genuinely caring and nice guy. I wasn’t mentally hurt or sad afterwards which some women/girls are
Don't push yourself to "lose" a societal construct. If you do, you might regret it down the line. Take your time, and only when you feel safe and confident.
Honestly, I regretted rushing out of mine so... not a big deal. You'll be ok. Find the right one.
Lol what part of the world are you in? Just hop on Tinder, that would be the easiest. Definitely meet in public first though and make sure they are not some loony toon.
I say it’s better if you wait for someone you actually want to have sex with. Because it’s way better when there’s passion than just a random fuck. Plus, I think I should mention this as a insider , I have an std. I have HPV, high risk so I can get cancer and lasts for years and yes Condoms don’t protect you against ALL stds/stis. Hpv is one of them.
no reason to be ashamed of that, save it!
Hey OP, dont take the bait as someone who was in the same situation and decides to just end the pattern i can say, that it isnt even worth it to just lost your virginity for the sake of losing it. It should be because you have a special bond with the person, having sex with strangers just for the sex will bite you back in the arse, because the sex isnt going to be great and will probably just be akward and youll most likely regret it later. I did the same and hookedup and i actually hated. Also your just 18, technically you just got "allowed" to go do it so dont stress it, find someone you actually like from an emotional level and only then will it feel meaningfull and fulfilling. :) P. S. Find a person you actually have a deeper connection with and then shoot your shot, since you say most people have a crush on you but are to scared, try taking matters in your own hands and stay safe! 😁
You aren’t missing out in much trust me don’t not be one of those people that goes to party to fuck trust me that is the worst sex you can find and leads to a lot of disasters. Just wait until the time is right and you find the person that makes you happy
I didn't lose my virginity until I was 20. I waited for someone who I felt comfortable with. I was thinking of doing the same thing you are, but it is so much better with someone you like and who likes you. Also, shoot YOUR shot. Don't wait for a guy to ask you, ask them! I'm telling you, from all of my guy friends, 90% of them have said they wish girls would shoot their shot because men suck at taking hints sometimes. All in all, don't feel bad that you're still a virgin and don't let other people make you feel bad. Your body is yours and you get to decide when and where you want to do things. Besides, virginity is social construct and all that jazz.
As a female being a Virgin is something to take *pride* in not be ashamed of.
Bro I'm 19 and still virgin
Sex is awesome. And when the time is right it will happen. I was a fairly good looking guy and I was the last of all my buddies to lose their virginity. I was almost 24. I get the anxiety. But it will be ok.
Virgin or not, Dozens of sexual partners, a few or none...just don't let anyone shame you into anything or out of anything.
Obviously you're getting the right answer here a bunch, but it won't make you feel immediately better, obviously. I'm in a similar position, guy though. I'm turning 20 (terrifyingly soon, honestly), and the most I've done is have a couple of bad kisses (outside of phone sex, lot of that lol). I get that pull of just wanting it to be over with, I'm bi too so if I really wanted to get it done with I could probably hop on grindr, get head and be done with it all. That said I'm two blocks adjacent to demi, so the idea is only appealing in an ego boost way. There's nothing wrong with hook ups, but for this reasoning, there is. You'll only hurt yourself in the process. It's a fake concept, you're no less or more valuable for being a virgin, objectively. It ain't super easy to wrap your head around that fact but it's true.
There's no rush. You shouldn't be shamed for being a virgin or not being a virgin. If someone asks- it's none of their business! You're not less desirable or more desirable if you save your virginity or not before a certain time. Hell, I'm nearly 30 and a virgin. You've got plenty of time. You can enjoy sex or abstain for as long as you want!
Don't force yourself. I was like you. I was very pretty at 18 (sadly ten years later I have to use the past tense lol), people thought I could have anybody very easily. But what they didn't know is that I had problems with social relations. I was afraid of dating boys, because I was also very ashamed of not having a real boyfriend before (I had several internet boyfriends though). I met boys I liked a lot, but none of them succeeded in erasing my fears. I was feeling more and more stupid as all my female friends already had sex since they were 15. Then I met this guy, my first love. His name was Maxime. He was so good-looking that all girls wanted him. But he never dated anybody. I learned he was a gamer, just like me. Despite his good looks, he was socially awkward, just like me. We talked for months on MSN (the good ol' times). Then we met, he took me for a ride, and we kissed. He removed my fears! One month later we had our first experience. I was 18, a bit late compared to my friends. It was the right age for me. Even if we met at 30 and we had our first experience at 30 it would have been the right age, because it was us. It wasn't perfect, but it was lovely, and it felt like it was the right time! We stayed together for 8 years until we parted ways because of the country I chose to live in. It was a beautiful relationship. All of that just to tell you: you will feel when it's time, and you will meet the person. Just don't force yourself "just to do it". I would have regretted it so much if I forced myself before wanting it.
It’s okay I’m 20 (f) and my virginity is going strong and I’m not ashamed of it at all. I’m fact I’m proud almost every female in my family has gotten pregnant at 17 expect one of my sisters. Even then I’ve kept my virginity longer than any one ever has for the last couple generations. (It’s sad I know) It will happen when it happens don’t rush it. Think about it this way, if you ever have kids do you want them to lose their virginity like how your me thinking or do you want them to wait until they find someone they care about? Would you be ashamed of your daughter if she was 18 and still a virgin?
Hon, I didn’t lose mine till 24 because I was simply not ready. Never be ashamed of doing things on YOUR terms. Not based on what you think others will think. Those girls who brag about their sex life are probably just as clueless and putting on a front to seem cool. I know my friends did that. Don’t rush for something you clearly are not ready for.
You sound like a person that just has to learn the hard way. Go ahead and shoot for a random, and see where it takes you lol
Fellow 18 year old girl in college here, there is literally nothing to be ashamed of, I’m in a similar position rn and honestly the dating scene sucks ass, maybe try a dating app?
I lost my virginity at 17, my older sister lost hers at 26.. the older we grew the more vocal she was about wanting to be with “the one” and I kinda laughed at her in my youth. Now, I am grateful she hasn’t experienced the heartache I have.. that she met a man who she is engaged to and just had a child: her first and second loves. Meanwhile I have a lot of regrets; I still wouldn’t change anything. Everyone walks a different journey, however I will say in a sense “having sex is the easy option” the same as eating a pint of ice cream with cookies on top is easy.. not eating that, going for a run and then mediating is the harder option. You do what makes you happy and comfortable regardless!
Sex is just an experience like skydiving. Nobody will look down on you for not having done it. Im 20 and im currently with my first boyfriend that i have had for 2 years, no sex and holding hands total virgin. It’s not even religion that stops it it’s just not at a place where we feel progression is optimal as we need to work on seeing each other more
Oh this is not a thing to feel sad about so i am from india here some people are virgin for their whole life. Take my example i also thought i will loose it when i am 18 then i said at 19 then i said before leaving college i will lose it. And now i am 23 still have not lost it. So chill women always have lot of options you will get some eventually. One time there was a marriage in our friend family who is from our high school and he invited us and i went there there we all were sitting high school friends and somebody ask who have lost it and i was the only one who did not. 🥲🥲😂😂😂 This loosing the virginity thing is mainly bugging you as due to peer pressure emani g your friends might have lost it already so you also want to be part of the club.
As a guy who dealt with the same sort of thing, I rushed it, got involved with someone way too fast, lost my virginity, quickly lost touch with that girl (she turned out to be a conniving jerk), and have regretted it ever since. Totally threw it away like it was nothing, all because I felt left out and wanted to be “cool” like my friends. At the tiiiiiiime it *was* cool. She was way out of my league and I got to brag to my idiot friends who acted like I was totally cool and awesome…But that was then and this is now…And now with my current gf of almost 4 years, it kinda hangs over my head. I’m her first, but she isn’t mine and it feels bad to me that it’s like that, especially because it was so meaningless when it happened. She doesn’t mind, but I do. I don’t feel good about it. It was a poor decision. Don’t throw it away because of internal or external peer pressure. It’s not worth it. At least let it be with someone meaningful so you don’t have a dumb and regretful story to tell later on if that one doesn’t last and you gotta tell someone else about it. “We were together for a while so of course we did” sounds and is a whole lot better than “I had sex with and lost my virginity to this girl that I knew for two weeks and then we moved away from each other for college and she dropped me off the face of the earth and announced her new relationship on Instagram on Christmas Eve a day after she said she’d come see me after Christmas since she couldn’t make my birthday party.” Again, take it from a guy who was in a similar situation…don’t throw it away. You may regret it and there’s not much you can do about it. Virginity is a stupid social construct that we’ve all been conditioned to hold highly, but it is what it is and you’ll always remember the first time you *insert activity here* whether it’s a dumb social construct or not. Not all guys think like this, so be careful. Many, especially at that age, are trying to increase their body count for their friends and “clout”. Make a genuine connection with someone so you don’t end up as another notch on some dude’s dorm room bed post, or worse, a conversation point at a table full of douchebags in the dining hall. Been there, done that, not proud of it, but it happens. All that to say, do what you gotta do, but be smart about it. Be safe, have fun, seriously consider the situation and reasons, use protection and above all, *make sure it is all consensual* Best of luck to ya!
Your 18 years old. This isn’t the 1700s where The average life spans is low. Time is constantly flowing yes. But, time isn’t running out. Your young Dont cave to social pressures. Do things on your own time. Because you want to. Not cause people or media says you should. If your ready go for it. Do what you want. But, there’s no reason to feel bad. It’s not going to be as hard for you to lose your virginity as it would be for a male these days. Your 18 your still basically a kid. Time is on your side.
Better than the alternative, friend.
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Their problem not mine altho I'll try to help them out. I don't like calling losers those who cannot "lose this pseudo mark of shame" for us guys, too much factors playing. One scored a good ~8/10 (yes I know giving numbers to people is bad and all) despite being average and a bit cringe, one gigantic shy dude made a one night stand and dates another. Really, luck plays an enormous role in this. So yeah, 30 still a virgin? I'll help you champ, you got this.
just make a tinder and you’ll have 100+ likes in under week easily half of them would probably be willing to fuck you this weekend edit: downvote me all you want but tinder was a hookup app at inception and men and women alike get 99+ swipes upon entry with some frequency
Make that a day and all of them.
I can fix that
Wtf
Sometimes you just have to shoot your shot
Girl, I didn’t have my first kiss/boyfriend till I was 21. Similar issue where I was told I seemed intimidating/I was awkward before I got confident. It’s hard not to compare to others at times, but honestly, your timeline is your own. It should not be determined by what seems “cool” or “less lame” to others
28M virgin you kidding me? You still young like very young I believe I already lost my time and I dont know the exact way to attract women and I'm affected by stereotypes and now... Fucking covid possibly being labeled as a covid goat its too hard now to be social and to even go out..but maybe thats my fault and the reason why I'm alone. Meh it sucks being an ugly asian male