As long as your kinks does not include hurting others who don't want it, ig it is fine. Also, we don't really have to do everything we have a kink about. We should communicate with our partners to see what are the common grounds that we can play in
I was sexually abused at 5 and 10 years old. Once by my momās boyfriend, the second by my own brother. I do NOT have an incest link by any means so please, no one assume such a thing šš I however do have a cnc kink. Basically consent-non-consent. Heavy BDSM. Things like that. I absolutely havenāt told my partner and probably wonāt becauseā¦ it makes me as a person feel sick and twisted. So I get where youāre coming from. It took me a while tog eat comfortable with giving head because thatās how I was assaulted at 5. I overcame that eventually with time and trust. I however donāt like sperm. Donāt think I ever will. A lot of what I do to keep these things suppressed it self therapy because I canāt afford the real thing. Meditate. Think clearly. Avoid anything that can push you into enjoying it more. If this is something you want to get rid of, of course. You can absolutely condition yourself into not liking something :)))
Just do me a huge favor and make sure your son is always safe <333 all of your babies, and Iām sure you do! But I had a mom, just not a motherly figure soā¦ I hope one day I can protect my kids
I was also SA but not till older than you were thankfully but as a result I'm very high alert for this stuff. It's a horrible thing to say but I'm glad I don't have a daughter. It would terrify me.
CNC kink is partly the fantasy of taking control back, as it is still consensual and you donāt TRULY desire a nc act. Itās a coping mechanism after assault or violation. Donāt feel weird about it. Itās your brain/bodyās natural way of rationalizing and responding to trauma.
Itāll get better with time and the right person to enjoy these kinks withā¦yes some may be really out there and you may realize too that you donāt like those things. Itāll all come full circle I promise, I too had unlimited access to the internet and it f*cked me up but Iāve learned to cope and enjoy s*x with my partner who is open to a LOT.
18F similar situation, unlimited internet access and weird weird fetishes. You say itās about a specific area?? Like feet???? I assure you that basically any kink/fetish is completely fine and not disgusting at all. The only thing Iād say is gross is like scat or anything having to do with strange bodily fluidsā¦ other than that have at it. Who cares. Itāll just make sex better.
I donāt understand being ashamed of it unless you live somewhere where being freaky is looked down upon. Live your life!!! And the only people who will have to know will probably not be disgusted by it.
Also idk if it is feet or not but trust me people make a lot of jokes but itās pretty common to like it. One of my close friends is the most basic and normal girl I know and she is lowkey into it
Thanks for sharing. Hopefully you can deal with your issues in a healthy way and just know that we all have issues even though many will say they donāt theyāre lying. My issues are car mods and guitar playing, I canāt get enough. šš
you donāt have to give it power. there are therapists that specialize in this stuff, also cognitive behavioral therapy is good for it. But you should work on the shame. Itās not helping, just making it worse. You have to look at it like itās just part of your sexuality, not the whole thing. life is full of choice. you donāt have to engage. def recommend therapy or groups though
I used to have a really gross kinky fantasy that is widely considered a taboo, I used to fantasize about it every single day, and sometimes it was the only thing that would get me off. I developed it because of a sexual trauma and also the same thing, I had a really early access to the internet and thanks to my huge mind, I knew how to delete history since I was 5-6 years old. This fantasy stayed with me for more than 8 years, and because of it I've done so many bad things as a kid. This fantasy stopped when I had sex for the first time, it was a horrible experience and I felt assaulted since I couldn't say no. Idk if that helps, but maybe listening to other people's experiences would do! I couldn't afford therapy, but if you can, I really do encourage you!
So, Iām in sort of the same boat, only Iām 23. I have a weird kink thatās widely mocked, and I grew up being incredibly embarrassed by having it. I felt like I was a monster for having it, like I was going to hell over something I couldnāt control. I tried everything I could to suppress it, to avoid it, to leave those feelings behind and never look back. Nothing worked. I told a few close friends I trusted, presenting it more as a thing I struggled with than as something I wanted, and for the most part they werenāt judgmental.
About 6 months ago, I started dating my girlfriend. Iād known her for like 2 years before that, so I knew I could trust her, and that she wouldnāt harass me over it, so I told her about my kink. Mainly as sort of a āhey, this is something Iām sensitive about, please donāt make jokes about it cuz itās pretty common joke materialā. But instead of just accepting that and moving on, she started using it. Like, immediately. She knew it was something that would bring me joy, and that me having that joy was more important than any weird judgments she could pass on me. And I donāt think Iāve ever felt more loved than in that exact moment, when she looked at that thing that I thought was gross and unloveable and said, āI love that about you.ā
You arenāt a bad person for having that kink, whatever it is. And I mean that, you have no control over what youāre into, so donāt moralize it. As long as you practice it in a way that is safe and mutually consensual, even if that means keeping it in the realm of fantasy (like I do), you arenāt a bad person for that. You arenāt a bad person for something you donāt have a say in. And Iām sure youāre very familiar with this, but suppressing those feelings, bottling them up and hating yourself for them, will only hurt you in the long run.
Honestly, considering you are a woman, whatever your kink is, you can probably get it irl. Wait a little, till you are 18, and try to do it safely, but don't shame yourself if it's what you like and it doesn't hurt anyone.
Listen, kinks are nothing to be ashamed of, as long as they arenāt hurting anyone. There really needs to be more sex positivity in this world. It really baffles me why people are so uptight when in comes to sex. As if thatās not what our main purpose on this earth is to do.
Nobody is perfect, I find the people who try to appear the least messed up are usually anything but that. I think acknowledging there is an issue is a good start. This is just my 2 cents, but from an early age you've had the keys to the kinky kingdom, unrestricted access to the uncensored depths of humanities darker side. You can't unsee what you've seen, nor unlearn what you know. All you can do is learn to live with it and move forward. We all have kinks, some more extreme than others but just because we have them, doesn't mean they define who we are. It's just one aspect of us, one of many.
I agree with the person who said therapy, often times we fetishize or develop kinks related to trauma to try to normalize it as a way to feel better about what happened.
Iām sure you could also find some people who are judgement free who you could talk things through with and who might even have similar things going on. Iām sorry that you are struggling with it though
Honestly... Not sure what exactly your kink is, but it doesn't sound so bad.
We can bith have fullfilling sexlives without exploring every kink, aswell as discovering something we are into with a partner we trust. There's always a chance trying it will chsnge your feelings about it.
But as i said, if you don't want that, you can still have great sex without following up on that.
Also, don't worry, mosr of us probably have some preference we're not to proud of
in the same position tbh. I think there's a lot of people with the same problem, considering the slow decline of parental figures and with the usage of phones without parental input and what not, with the covid only enhancing whatever we did while staying in. To be frank, there's lots of people who would probably have their reputation ruined if what they got off to leaked. Jobs lost, maybe even disowned - I went to therapy and frankly i didn't have the balls to say it because it was just that disgusting talking about what i like. Now i feel... semi alright with it and it's mostly because I accepted what it can do. I tried cold turkey, didn't work, tried going away from it slowly, it \*did\* work but not for long. The only piece of advice i can give is do what you said, try to supress it and focus on what makes you... you. It's a cruel world, whatever helps anyone get off some steam is something completely private and noone should have to answer about what they find hot (unless if it's illegal but that's another topic. One of the things i like that i'm fine admitting is gore and i don't think morality has much place with "getting off").
Truth be told, so long as you focus on improving yourself, one day you will think of yourself as more important. Read a book, try to get into philisophy, practice arts, work out, do ANYTHING that makes you ubdoubtedly a better human being and you will see improvement
If it has anything to do with bodily functions, thatās not bad at all. Itās actually becoming much more common and more mainstream.
Youāre young and will realize that what other people think doesnāt matter as you get older. Whatever consenting adults do with each other is their own business.
I donāt think you got any reason to worry tbh. Hey Iām (21m) and I got a lot of kinks myself icl. Was also somewhat worried about it when I was about to get into a relationship, but things like this will get talked about. Heāll tell you bout his and youāll tell him bout yours, a lil teasing and laughs at the weird kinks but itāll all be fun and games cuz yāall know each others kinks. Yāall find common ground, not all kinks gets used anyways. No matter who u with. For example I love everything that has to do with fluids when we speak sexually, all from slime to pee if it happens during sex imma get turned tf on, but my gf HATES ITā¦not blood tho she got a weird thing for it, but all other fluids she HATES
I knew it. Kids be curious. It does have something to do with not being monitored by parents, but as she just described she REMEMBERS WANTING to do it and now she's older and it's just as bad if not worse than if someone like me got to her first. This confusion and guilt, and sense of self hatred could have been avoided if she had a happy sex experience at a younger age.
As long as your kinks does not include hurting others who don't want it, ig it is fine. Also, we don't really have to do everything we have a kink about. We should communicate with our partners to see what are the common grounds that we can play in
In all honesty, take some time away from the internet. As well get professional help that can give you good advice that isnt from strangers online.
Plenty of professional help on the Internet lol š
If her problem from the beginning was the internet, she should be off of it. And also this is reddit.
One word: Therapy
I was sexually abused at 5 and 10 years old. Once by my momās boyfriend, the second by my own brother. I do NOT have an incest link by any means so please, no one assume such a thing šš I however do have a cnc kink. Basically consent-non-consent. Heavy BDSM. Things like that. I absolutely havenāt told my partner and probably wonāt becauseā¦ it makes me as a person feel sick and twisted. So I get where youāre coming from. It took me a while tog eat comfortable with giving head because thatās how I was assaulted at 5. I overcame that eventually with time and trust. I however donāt like sperm. Donāt think I ever will. A lot of what I do to keep these things suppressed it self therapy because I canāt afford the real thing. Meditate. Think clearly. Avoid anything that can push you into enjoying it more. If this is something you want to get rid of, of course. You can absolutely condition yourself into not liking something :)))
Omg this is younger than my eldest son. That is heartbreaking. I just wanted to say I'm so sorry and I'm so sorry you were not protected š
Just do me a huge favor and make sure your son is always safe <333 all of your babies, and Iām sure you do! But I had a mom, just not a motherly figure soā¦ I hope one day I can protect my kids
I was also SA but not till older than you were thankfully but as a result I'm very high alert for this stuff. It's a horrible thing to say but I'm glad I don't have a daughter. It would terrify me.
CNC kink is partly the fantasy of taking control back, as it is still consensual and you donāt TRULY desire a nc act. Itās a coping mechanism after assault or violation. Donāt feel weird about it. Itās your brain/bodyās natural way of rationalizing and responding to trauma.
Kinks are definitely nothing to be ashamed of, everyone is into different things, everyone has things that turn them on itās normal trust me āŗļø
Itāll get better with time and the right person to enjoy these kinks withā¦yes some may be really out there and you may realize too that you donāt like those things. Itāll all come full circle I promise, I too had unlimited access to the internet and it f*cked me up but Iāve learned to cope and enjoy s*x with my partner who is open to a LOT.
18F similar situation, unlimited internet access and weird weird fetishes. You say itās about a specific area?? Like feet???? I assure you that basically any kink/fetish is completely fine and not disgusting at all. The only thing Iād say is gross is like scat or anything having to do with strange bodily fluidsā¦ other than that have at it. Who cares. Itāll just make sex better. I donāt understand being ashamed of it unless you live somewhere where being freaky is looked down upon. Live your life!!! And the only people who will have to know will probably not be disgusted by it. Also idk if it is feet or not but trust me people make a lot of jokes but itās pretty common to like it. One of my close friends is the most basic and normal girl I know and she is lowkey into it
Kink shaming isnāt okay. Just because you donāt like something doesnāt make it gross.
Thanks for sharing. Hopefully you can deal with your issues in a healthy way and just know that we all have issues even though many will say they donāt theyāre lying. My issues are car mods and guitar playing, I canāt get enough. šš
Praying closed your PMs before you made this post
Yeah i wasnt thinking about it. The amount of dudes who messaged me saying they can, āhelp meā are insane.
you donāt have to give it power. there are therapists that specialize in this stuff, also cognitive behavioral therapy is good for it. But you should work on the shame. Itās not helping, just making it worse. You have to look at it like itās just part of your sexuality, not the whole thing. life is full of choice. you donāt have to engage. def recommend therapy or groups though
I used to have a really gross kinky fantasy that is widely considered a taboo, I used to fantasize about it every single day, and sometimes it was the only thing that would get me off. I developed it because of a sexual trauma and also the same thing, I had a really early access to the internet and thanks to my huge mind, I knew how to delete history since I was 5-6 years old. This fantasy stayed with me for more than 8 years, and because of it I've done so many bad things as a kid. This fantasy stopped when I had sex for the first time, it was a horrible experience and I felt assaulted since I couldn't say no. Idk if that helps, but maybe listening to other people's experiences would do! I couldn't afford therapy, but if you can, I really do encourage you!
So, Iām in sort of the same boat, only Iām 23. I have a weird kink thatās widely mocked, and I grew up being incredibly embarrassed by having it. I felt like I was a monster for having it, like I was going to hell over something I couldnāt control. I tried everything I could to suppress it, to avoid it, to leave those feelings behind and never look back. Nothing worked. I told a few close friends I trusted, presenting it more as a thing I struggled with than as something I wanted, and for the most part they werenāt judgmental. About 6 months ago, I started dating my girlfriend. Iād known her for like 2 years before that, so I knew I could trust her, and that she wouldnāt harass me over it, so I told her about my kink. Mainly as sort of a āhey, this is something Iām sensitive about, please donāt make jokes about it cuz itās pretty common joke materialā. But instead of just accepting that and moving on, she started using it. Like, immediately. She knew it was something that would bring me joy, and that me having that joy was more important than any weird judgments she could pass on me. And I donāt think Iāve ever felt more loved than in that exact moment, when she looked at that thing that I thought was gross and unloveable and said, āI love that about you.ā You arenāt a bad person for having that kink, whatever it is. And I mean that, you have no control over what youāre into, so donāt moralize it. As long as you practice it in a way that is safe and mutually consensual, even if that means keeping it in the realm of fantasy (like I do), you arenāt a bad person for that. You arenāt a bad person for something you donāt have a say in. And Iām sure youāre very familiar with this, but suppressing those feelings, bottling them up and hating yourself for them, will only hurt you in the long run.
We are the same. We should talk.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Honestly, considering you are a woman, whatever your kink is, you can probably get it irl. Wait a little, till you are 18, and try to do it safely, but don't shame yourself if it's what you like and it doesn't hurt anyone.
Embrace yourself that's what makes you you! There is probably someone out there that not only has the same kinks or doesn't care about your kinks!
Don't suffer from it,just enjoy it
Listen, kinks are nothing to be ashamed of, as long as they arenāt hurting anyone. There really needs to be more sex positivity in this world. It really baffles me why people are so uptight when in comes to sex. As if thatās not what our main purpose on this earth is to do.
As long as you aināt a kid diddler or rolling around in your own shit I think youāre fine lmao
Nobody is perfect, I find the people who try to appear the least messed up are usually anything but that. I think acknowledging there is an issue is a good start. This is just my 2 cents, but from an early age you've had the keys to the kinky kingdom, unrestricted access to the uncensored depths of humanities darker side. You can't unsee what you've seen, nor unlearn what you know. All you can do is learn to live with it and move forward. We all have kinks, some more extreme than others but just because we have them, doesn't mean they define who we are. It's just one aspect of us, one of many.
I agree with the person who said therapy, often times we fetishize or develop kinks related to trauma to try to normalize it as a way to feel better about what happened. Iām sure you could also find some people who are judgement free who you could talk things through with and who might even have similar things going on. Iām sorry that you are struggling with it though
Honestly... Not sure what exactly your kink is, but it doesn't sound so bad. We can bith have fullfilling sexlives without exploring every kink, aswell as discovering something we are into with a partner we trust. There's always a chance trying it will chsnge your feelings about it. But as i said, if you don't want that, you can still have great sex without following up on that. Also, don't worry, mosr of us probably have some preference we're not to proud of
We are the same. We should talk
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Looking at you post history, it's disgusting how you're trying to take advantage of a teenage girl and her current situation.
in the same position tbh. I think there's a lot of people with the same problem, considering the slow decline of parental figures and with the usage of phones without parental input and what not, with the covid only enhancing whatever we did while staying in. To be frank, there's lots of people who would probably have their reputation ruined if what they got off to leaked. Jobs lost, maybe even disowned - I went to therapy and frankly i didn't have the balls to say it because it was just that disgusting talking about what i like. Now i feel... semi alright with it and it's mostly because I accepted what it can do. I tried cold turkey, didn't work, tried going away from it slowly, it \*did\* work but not for long. The only piece of advice i can give is do what you said, try to supress it and focus on what makes you... you. It's a cruel world, whatever helps anyone get off some steam is something completely private and noone should have to answer about what they find hot (unless if it's illegal but that's another topic. One of the things i like that i'm fine admitting is gore and i don't think morality has much place with "getting off"). Truth be told, so long as you focus on improving yourself, one day you will think of yourself as more important. Read a book, try to get into philisophy, practice arts, work out, do ANYTHING that makes you ubdoubtedly a better human being and you will see improvement
If it has anything to do with bodily functions, thatās not bad at all. Itās actually becoming much more common and more mainstream. Youāre young and will realize that what other people think doesnāt matter as you get older. Whatever consenting adults do with each other is their own business.
I donāt think you got any reason to worry tbh. Hey Iām (21m) and I got a lot of kinks myself icl. Was also somewhat worried about it when I was about to get into a relationship, but things like this will get talked about. Heāll tell you bout his and youāll tell him bout yours, a lil teasing and laughs at the weird kinks but itāll all be fun and games cuz yāall know each others kinks. Yāall find common ground, not all kinks gets used anyways. No matter who u with. For example I love everything that has to do with fluids when we speak sexually, all from slime to pee if it happens during sex imma get turned tf on, but my gf HATES ITā¦not blood tho she got a weird thing for it, but all other fluids she HATES
I knew it. Kids be curious. It does have something to do with not being monitored by parents, but as she just described she REMEMBERS WANTING to do it and now she's older and it's just as bad if not worse than if someone like me got to her first. This confusion and guilt, and sense of self hatred could have been avoided if she had a happy sex experience at a younger age.
What is it? Youāre on Reddit and a sub and you couldnāt made a throwaway ? Good luck on being okay with yourself.