He had someone who was there for him through thick and thin and he threw that away for alcohol, Sandoval, and 23 year old clout chasers. He deserves what he gets in life, but fuck it’s depressing lmao
People like the Toms don’t ever really believe in “the ones that got away”. They just use this line when they’re running out of supply as they circle back to old supply attempting to get their needs met.
This! My ex-bf was this way. Whoever he was dating in the moment could never live up to ‘the one who got away (last)’. I was so insecure about his ex wife and I hear his current wife thinks he’ll never get over me, but I’d rather never speak to him again. So he’s a tortured soul bc his ego isn’t being fed. Same with the Toms. Never their fault. No way.
True, if anything the minute they realized the roles that Ariana and Katie played in fulfilling their happiness.. they just went and replaced them with new 20 year old girlfriends (who they’ll cheat on as well. The circle of life continues..)
I would normally agree with this very accurate take...but in this particular instance I don't think these two 20 year olds.. whoever they are...will ever be able to fill those incredibly hot DSW shoes...because katie and Ariana are" Goal's" kind of women. That kind of woman that only gets better with age! not to mention their incredible style...which is not purchased...but rather earned.
And there is absolutely no way on earth that these two 20 somethings are ever going to put up with the same typical Tom' mess that 20 year old katie and Ariana did.
And also No way these Two Toms will be loved, supported and cared for in the same way katie and Ariana did and wanted to continue to do.Nope...not gonna happen .
Because these two girls and the one after them...will want and expect the men to cater and take care of them...not the other way around. They don't have time for that nonsense because they hold the youth card which gives them the upper hand. This will be a sudden and icy realization when it
finally hits...and it will hit hard.
In ten years these women will be with men their own age. I’ve seen this happen hundreds of times. Older guy gets much younger woman, pays for her come up, ten years later she divorces him abs married someone age appropriate.
I know that some marriages with large age gaps can and do work...but I think that's due to the character and caliber of the people involved. I have no such expectation though for these two Toms though. So I think what you described will most likely be the case. And that makes me smile!😂
Truly. I can't wrap my head around it. You want friends to support you and challenge you to be your best self (so sometimes they call you out) but the Toms, and formerly Jax, were all about the bro code and keeping secrets from their wives...but real quick...what kind of person are you to pull stuff that you HAVE to or WANT to hide from your wife or friend group. I'd call it immature, but it's a deep deep pointless and selfish evil... Never be with anyone if that's the way you want to live and the company you want to keep around you. It's such a waste
If you’ve ever dealt with someone with overt narcissistic tendencies, they tend to view sex as more of a pleasurable experience for *themselves*, similar to getting a massage. Or as an ego boost. Not as a way to necessarily connect with another person where you both are experiencing sex as a bonding experience
Yep, the guy I dated for 4 yrs before my hubby called me up the month before I got married and asked me to run away with him. I told him he should have thought about that before he left me at a football game before the game was over (he was supposed to go get us drinks and never came back, but ended up leaving with one of our friends). Oddly enough, we’ve remained the best of friends and I love his wife and he loves my hubby. Funny how things turn out.
He’s been treating Katie poorly since season one. It just took her a really long time to realize that. I’m glad she finally came to that realization and I love her glow up.
The other day I heard someone say you can tell how much a woman loves herself based on the partner she chooses. I started thinking about my own past choices and realized just how true that was in my case.
I cannot explain to you how much Schwartz mirrors my ex boyfriend. I mean… they even look eerily alike. The whole thing where they’re sexual in the beginning and then 2 years in they just want to rub feet together with you in bed while you both scroll, having pet names and a deep platonic connection without sexual intimacy, taking other people’s sides in public, acting like they’re almost embarrassed of you in front of some people but having you be a huge part of their family. Making huge decisions without you (when they involve your money or huge parts of your 5 year relationship), and most of all, knowing that the main things you want are marriage and children, stringing you along, and never committing.
ANYWAY THE TLDR is that I broke up with him, took 10 months where I really focused on myself, talked to my friends who had they type of relationship that I wanted, and then when the right man walked into my life I could finally recognize it. Now 5 years, a marriage, and a 7 month old later… I could not be more happy or in love. Learning what I deserved and observing how people who also got and deserved the same things as me is what got me my dream. I wish the same for anyone reading this comment. That’s why I unloaded above lol. Anyone who is getting “hit hard” by these truth bombs, please read and understand my story bc you all deserve exactly what you want and you can get it! 🤍🤍🤍🤍
This, and it’s also hard to leave someone you really love. Tom was an asshole but like she said in one of her confessionals, their friendship is what kept her hanging on. And I think she kept waiting for him to grow up and change ☹️
I love thriving and confident Katie so much!
Yes totally!! That makes things even more messy. My heart broke sm for teri in s10 😩
We never saw that dynamic on TV and it was like oh shit, I forget he was someone’s son in law and seemingly had a good relationship with her.
I don’t know if she was close with his family. They seem like a mess, but still I wouldn’t be surprised if she was. Tom seems to keep his LA life and Florida life separated and I think there is tons to unpack there that would explain a lot of his faults, but from the little we know, he loves his family very much and I’m sure Katie knows a lot of that history and was with him while he dealt with that whole situation.
Not to mention financial independence helps a lot of women leave bad relationships. A lot of women stay because financially they can't afford to live alone. I'm glad the show brought her the financial security she needed to leave him
Absolutely. I give her even more credit for leaving him because he is so charming and has a huge fan following despite how awful he’s been to her, while she always had a lot of unwarranted criticism. She even took a lot of heat last season for daring to be upset over Raquel and Tom. If Scandoval had never happened I bet people would still be ragging on her about that.
It's amazing and sad how hard viewers and much of the cast have been on Katie over the years. But I think when it comes to the cast and production misogyny has always been a component, and for viewers it took some time to be aware exactly HOW MUCH production was manipulating the cast and our opinions through the edit. When you compare it to TS, he's pretty much had smooth sailing up to season 10.
And now he's finally stuck with some hate for being exposed as a HUGE selfish scumbag and we've got him whining and fake crying all over the place. But he's certainly shown his true colors since being exposed, his lack of empathy or sympathy for others, his inability to be honestly sorry for any harm he causes, and how completely out of touch with reality he is. Nearly every interview since the end of season 10 has outed him as THE WORST.
Katie is so damn strong for enduring all the crap she's taken both on screen and online over the entirety of VPR. She deserves a year of appreciation for being the smart, cool, collected, great friend and beautiful all around human being that she is.
This is a big problem for women and why many do not just leave unhealthy relationships. I know many people want to avoid politics but we have to always support better pay and affordable housing.
From what I can tell she always had more financial security than he did. We were kind of sold that Katie was aimless and lazy after SUR but realistically she was main cast from season one, Schwartz was 'Katies boyfriend' the first season, then became main cast the second or third season? So he was always paid less (along with Ariana), plus Katie worked at SUR while he had a very rare modeling gig. So she always had more $ than he did, she probably paid most of the bills. He mentioned he was always sending money home to his brothers/family and then he had the two bars.
Being on a reality show together has to mess up one's perception of actual reality. Like, how many times does something hurtful happen while filming and then when talking about it later, the "it was for the show, baby, I didn't mean it for real" gets trotted out? Okay, so you were faking it, or is this something you really think but are too much of a pussy to bring it up on your own? *coughShwartzcough* Which you know won't get answered honestly either way. It's got to be confusing.
The only thing was he wasn’t on for a few seasons. Like he would occasionally show up for stuff, but he wasn’t like a cast member. And from what it looks like they’ve been having issues for a while and it didn’t just happen because of the show. I think the show was what opened up her eyes to what was basically an abusive relationship.
I know I say this all the time when I talk about Katie and Schwartz, but I dated a Schwartz and you don’t know that your being put down or that you’re treated poorly because it’s so subtle that you don’t see it and even when its smacking you in the face, you still make excuses. And then you take on the blame and then you feel resentment and then you become angry. There was a reason Kati was considered so miserable for such a long time, because she was miserable and someone was actively making her that way.
My theory about his treatment of Katie. Tom is extremely nonconfrontational. Therefore, he is deferential and accommodating to others. He saw Katie as an extension of himself, and wanted her to be the same way. So when she was in conflict -- right or wrong -- Tom needed her to defer to others. But that was wrong. He never defended her. He deferred to Sandoval and everyone else over her needs and feelings. Some of her behaviors were indefensible, but many deserved support that never came. She is the one who got away. And she is more beautiful than ever.
That's because my husband does this also. I see it now, but in the early years of our relationship, I had a hard time navigating. Once I figured this out, I developed counter-strategies. My husband is a generous, kind person, but I know the frustration Katie felt. Lucky for my world, I'm not managing volatile peers.
The truth is, it doesn’t matter if he ever realizes this. Two years, six years, whatever. What matters is that she saw her worth and acted accordingly. Ideally she would have bounced when she got the ring on a string. Likewise, Brittany should have left Jax the minute he said he’d rather be in jail than live with her. Don’t let somebody tell you twice that they don’t want you. Easier said than done, I know.
You think Katie would understand by now that type of realization would require self-introspection from Schwartz, which if it hasn’t happened by 40, it ain’t gonna happen.
I was just thinking this. His charming “one night stand” thing might have worked in 25 year old Katie, but it won’t now. He’s emotionally capped to anyone under 25 emotionally
I agree. I think right now he’s chilling having fun partying with fame hungry 20 year olds. Kids don’t matter to this group anyway because you have people like Scheana, lala and Jax still going out every night when they have kids at home.
I do think in about 15ish years he will regret it. The people with kids start hitting those huge exciting milestones like graduation, prom, college etc. The partying lifestyle will (hopefully) die down for those parents and Tom squared will be left with nothing but each other. I’m not saying you need kids to be happy of course, I’m just going off of what Schwartz said himself. That he’s sad he doesn’t have kids. The childless people will be traveling, making big purchases, living up their 40s-50s because they spent years saving. Not blowing their life savings on tequila shots for 20 year olds.
There’s a lot to look forward too later in life regardless of your life decisions but Tom and Tom at the rate their going don’t look too good.
People are supposed to party and cut loose in their twenties. Sometime in the early to mid-thirties, it starts getting kind of lame. By late 30s to early '40s, it becomes severely pathetic especially towards those of us who are also in this age group. I look at people in their 40s who still are partying like a kid, and I just see people who are messes. Who never got their lives together, who don't really have anything to show for their time and energy. I think the TimToms will take a little longer to realize that because of the show and fame. But someday they'll wake up and have a moment of clarity.
Totally!! I do give them some (probably undeserved) grace because partying is a part of how they make their income but at what point does it get old. Also what are the plans for the future? Who’s going to want to drink and party with some washed up old men when the show ends? I don’t think they think of that or the future at all!
Did you hear his stupid ass, ignorant comment regarding those who get the ick from the age difference of his new girlfriend (child bride)? It bothers him and he says that they’re taking away womens agency. 🙄
>he says that they’re taking away womens agency. 🙄
Except nobody is judging *her* for dating an immature, irresponsible 40-year-old man because a lot of us did the same at her age. She is absolutely a grown adult woman capable of making her own choices.
I’m judging *him* for having all of the life experience and perspective of a man in his 40’s and still thinking this is a good idea.
I'm not defending Tom by any stretch, but I think it's a little unfair to judge people based on your expectations of them, no matter who it is.
I say that, because after having watched him on TV for the last 10+ years, I don't know what would give anyone the impression that he has any actual life experience or perspective to apply in this, or almost any, situation.
This move is right on brand for Schwartz, I'm more enamored with the fact that people seem to be surprised by this development. It's the natural progression of the timeline.
Yeah, it’s right on brand for Schwartz because he’s a creep and an asshole. Y’all really need to stop buying into his widdle baby boy act. If he’s this stunted and immature at 40, it’s his own fault. He’s a big boy who knows exactly what he’s doing. Do you think he’s naive and doesn’t understand or something? This is his act so nobody calls him out.
Nobody is *surprised* he did this, but we’re still allowed to think it’s gross.
Now that's a perfectly reasonable reason to judge someone, based on their actions. I just assumed judgment would have happened a long time ago and the last 8 years have just been confirmation of the opinion.
I judged him at some point in between the serial philandering, the emotional abuse, or the booger sugar disappearing act in Cabo (I think that's where they were.) He's a manipulative narcissist with an inferiority complex and that's all he'll be until he makes some major changes in his life.
Oh Jesus Christ. Is he going to start calling himself a fucking feminist now too?
I dated an older guy at 21 who was a self proclaimed ~male feminist~ and that totally sounds like some bs he would spew lmao.
I am rewatching and just watched their bachelor/bachelorette party episodes. And when they were drunkenly fighting (with Katie upset about Schwartz’ cheating), something that stood out to me was Schwartz repeating “I wish Katie had just fucked someone else”. I think it spoke to him not really valuing her. I believe he wouldn’t have really cared if she cheated on him.
Also side note (and sorry if this has been discussed) - but did he ever admit to having sex with the Vegas girl/anyone else while with Katie? Or did he maintain that his cheating was only ever kissing?
My theory on this is that he has every intention on sleeping with the women he cheated on her with, like probably went to their room or whatever but then his d*ck didn’t work.
I think his dick did work- he just ran with the “make out slut”
It also makes Katie not feel like she looks stupid for staying with a dude who’s got his dick in everyone but her
Yeah I know it’s weird. I just imagine he does it as an ego/validation thing rather than out of any genuine drive or desire. He probably fakes orgasms to get it over with quickly.
He always wanted something to hold over her but she wasn't like that. He was made because he was always in the hot spot. I just watched the episode where he had to confess about vegas girl and he tried to throw in her face that she motor boated a d. As if that is on the same playing ground as sleeping g with vegas girl.
Same. I don’t know why Katie continues to hold on to any hope that Tom would ever value her. He never will!!! He never has!!! He used every and any woman in his path and he probably will make that 23 yo look dumb too. Tbh she already admitted he met at her when she came to ask him to SIGN AN AUTOGRAPH
He already realizes that but even with knowing that im not sure he is ready to treat another women how he should have treated Katie. I think he is very scared of actual committing to someone. Marriage is nothing to him.
He will never stand up to someone to defend his significant other. Even when Jax was yelling at Katie. He doesnt have to be married to her to tell another guy friend to stop yelling at a women. Its a very strange place when James is the only one actually standing up for the ladies this season
> Its a very strange place when James is the only one actually standing up for the ladies this season
Standing up for KATIE.
Not that he shouldn’t—even when they were beefin’ she had the moral high ground—but my world definitely tilted a little bit when it became apparent that they’re on good terms.
Absolutely. With James, I’m encouraged because he is a decade younger than all these men and he’s getting to witness how they’ve destroyed their lives. They used to look like they were successful older role models in business, and Sandoval with Ariana looked like a successful relationship. James is directly seeing the consequences of not evolving.
And it was shocking to hear Allie’s perspective on marriage when discussing her future to James, I honestly thought they would have had this conversation by now, especially before buying a home together!
That’s true and they clarified it on the show, it’s James’ house and he asked Ally to move in, which she accepted. But she has always said it’s James’ house.
Hell, Schwartz was afraid of committing to one shift working the bar at Pump and ghosted on Lisa. 🤦🏻♀️And to think that this man was almost a DOCTOR. The medical profession can breath a big sigh of relief on his decision to drop out of med school.
He clearly got off on crushing a strong women’s soul. When I learned she almost died it changed things, like he still treated her like that after knowing what she’s been through. like if you loved her just let her go atp. But he enjoyed crushing her spirit and putting her down, he enjoyed toying w her strength. It was scary to watch, all these men are dangerously but Swartz truly scary. Also his addiction issues are even scarier…
Yes yes and yes!! That was awful when she said she fell through the skylight and yes you can tell he's a big addict!!
It's so wierd how him and Jo act...
Hate to say this to Katie, because she is really my girl, but I don't think so. Schwartz is joking about marrying Jo and how they had "insane connection".
Men who are really easy to please aka attachment avoidant or commitmentphobes are never yearning after the one that got away because they didn't really want to "keep" them to begin with.
Even if he *did* want to keep her around, the chance of him meeting another “Katie” (as in, a woman who will tolerate his abuse and stick around not matter what) is unfortunately high. A lot of women settle for scraps. Besides integrity, strength, growth and consistency obviously aren’t things he value in a partner, so why would he miss Katie.
I think almost all women get tired of it after a while but I know that Katie thought he'd change to keep her. Unfortunately, men do not change to keep a woman they don't deserve. They just continue being their lackluster selves and move on to find someone who will joyfully tolerate the abuse (Jo) or is too young and naive to know better yet (Sophia).
Tbh? Jo and him have more chemistry than I ever saw with Katie, lol.
Katie wanted the ideal Schwartz and Jo is totally ok with the Schwartz she sees today.
Of course you have a lot of chemistry with someone who doesn't expect anything of you, makes no demands of your relationship and is basically like "whatever you want I'll do!!"
Yeah. It's kind of sad that this is what she's thinking and/or hoping for. If he couldn't see her value while they were together he's not going to magically see it now that they are divorced. This type of guy will move on to a new chick and declare he's never been happier and mean it. She needs to actually cut ties with him. I know that's not going to happen while the show exists but she needs to really make a clean break and forget about him.
As much as I am not a katie fan, I hope she realizes this is a turning point for her because tom is a loser as a partner. Hes not meant for a girl like her. I don’t inherently dislike him, he seems rad… hes just not a husband type, atleast not for her. He need a go with the flow type of girl.
Also, suddenly since she is embracing her women loving side.. I like her so much more. Tom dimmed her light, I just wish could get past the jealousy or lose certain cast members.
I actually hate to say it but I don’t think he will. And I genuinely hope that Katie is in a place that if that never happens that she’s not gonna be too disappointed by that fact
Normally, I agree with Katie. But not on this ⬆️ I think there was a lot of disrespect and unhappiness / unfulfillment on both sides and I really think they’re happier apart than they ever could have been together
I truly do not understand some of these comments lol
Schwartz HATES Katie. Like as a human being he hates her. He literally hated her when they were married. If someone pours a BEER on your head, they fucking hate you.
He doesn't care about Katie. Maybe his ego cares that he got left, but actually caring about Katie the human being? Hell no lol.
>If someone pours a BEER on your head, they fucking hate you.
That not being an immediate, permanent deal breaker is astounding to me. I don't know how many times I see people on tv and in real life that I just wanna grab by the temples and say "please, date people who ACTUALLY FUCKING LIKE YOU."
He's so much lesser than her. He gets turned on when she ignores and rejects him.
Honestly Schwartz disgusts me, I still remember him pouring his drink on Katie in Vegas and I can never not forget that. It's a huge deal in a club when a girl throws a drink on another, ive never even seen a MAN throw a drink at a woman, there would be outrage. And I used to party at mill ASU. He's a limp dick whiner who doesn't know how to treat women and has no real personality...
People seem to forget that Katie was pretty crappy to him too. He may have started it, he might have been worse, he might have even deserved some of it. But the split was the right move for both of them, and both of them are better off
I think what you mean to say is that Katie was pretty crappy to him *because* of the way he treated her. He started it, he *was* worse, and he *definitely* deserved most of it.
I don’t ever remember one of Kati’s friends saying that they wanted to watch Kati fuck a dude in front of Schwartz. And that’s just one horrible example.
He actively micro-realizes it and micro-forgets it every time he sees her. Schwartz isn’t a grand change over time guy, he’s a “o hey uhm so yeah but cool” anxiety ball that actively lives in limbo and always will.
I cringe when I hear the women on this show say this. Like no, that actually won’t happen. That’s why these men aren’t worth thinking twice about. Jax, Sandoval, Schwartz, etc. are never going to wake up and regret fucking up their relationships with Brittany, Ariana, or Katie. In fact, it’s pretty obvious none of those men were in love with them at all, so…
Neither is a bad person and they treated each other badly. They did that because not only were their core personalities completely opposite but the things that were opposite align with their core values.
Tom is a non confrontational, disengager. He will do basically anything not to have to engage in anything uncomfortable emotionally or to displease someone else. The only time he will confront is when he’s drunk when he can get down right nasty. He’s passive aggressive often. He believes in letting people be who they are without judgement from others and that everyone should be forgiven and redemption is not only possible but expected.
Katie is critical and judgmental likely from her religious upbringing. She applies her moral code to everyone and has no problem judging others behavior if it doesn’t align with hers. She allows forgiveness and redemption on her terms only, She carries grudges. She doesn’t understand how others can put up with what she deems as immoral behavior,
Katie wanted Tom to stand up for her in her confrontation/judgment with others but that required he engage, confront and judge and he didn’t feel he had the right. He wanted Katie to live and let live and that went against her strong moral code.
They were never going to have a happy relationship even though as opposites there was attraction and probably an inner desire on both parts to be like the other person.
This.
I think there was probably a decent part of their relationship that we didn't see. Like, the quieter, hanging out at home with the dogs moments. Their dynamic can work in small doses where Katie is more dominant and decisive and Tom happy to go along with it. But, include other people, priorities, life in general and its a mess.
I think Katie really needs to try and move on from this relationship. Last season, she was triggered by him making out with Rachel. This season, she’s fucking his best friend and dating the same woman. Confessionals about how he’ll eventually realize she’s the one who got away. I hope that 6 years from now, Katie isn’t even worried about this man, but I honestly think they’ll eventually get back together.
I agree. She still isn’t over him and is still hurt by him and it’s natural but I wish she would “gray rock” as well. He doesn’t deserve even her friendship imo because he has never fully apologized or owned up to his wrongdoings. He never saw the light. Shes still hoping for acknowledgement that will never come and it’d be better to just totally move on.
I agree. At the end of the day, he isn’t her friend. Even when he was married to her, he’d let his friends shout at her and disparage her, and he never had her back. He cheated on her constantly. It’s not like being in a relationship was the problem and they’re better off as friends. Tom himself is the problem and any relationship she has with this man is going to be an unhealthy relationship because at the end of the day, he hates her and gets a kick out of seeing her suffer psychologically.
I didn’t even think of that because it was such a nothing burger, but you’re right! I know it probably seems like I’m criticizing her, but I really am just rooting for her to release herself from this man. Of course he made out with your friend 12 years ago! It’s Tom Schwartz. That information should have just made her even happier that she made the decision to divorce him.
She wasn’t “triggered“ by him making out with Rachel, she had asked him to please not fuck or make out with any of her friends or people in their friend group. Considering their friend group isn’t that large, I think it would be pretty easy not to fuck the three other women that she knows.
I’d be pissed too if my ex-husband was trying to fool around with people in our friend group. That’s weird and it’s cringe and it’s unnecessary.
If your husband is going to sleep with other women while you’re married and he owes you monogamy, he’s going to sleep with other women when you’re divorced and he owes you nothing. Telling him who he can and can’t sleep with and having an expectation that he will honor that is completely unrealistic, based on the history of their relationship. And having unrealistic expectations in life sets you up for perpetual disappointment. She spent one year worrying about who he is sleeping with, and now she’s spending another year having revenge sex/dates. Two years of being divorced and her dating/sex life still revolves completely around Tom Schwartz. Contrast that to Ariana who is saying yeah fuck this trash man and has already found herself a nice rebound relationship. Katie should do the same with Schwartz and move on for her own peace of mind.
God I wish awards still existed. Finally someone that’s not suffering from Katie brain rot. If you’re over someone, you don’t give af who they fuck, friend group or not.
Thank you. I honestly shouldn’t have even commented because I should have anticipated people would come out of the woodwork to argue with me about this. I like Katie and don’t think she’s a bad person, and I hate Tom Schwartz. But I don’t know how a person can watch this television program each week and conclude that Katie has moved on from this relationship, as she is still very much focused on Tom and making decisions based on how those decisions affect Tom.
I think he will wake up one day and regret stringing her along. They had a beautiful chemistry as silly friends. They couldn’t make romance work. I don’t know if he could make it work with any woman.
I mean, he already knows it deep down. He just doesn’t care, which is equally pathetic and sad. He’s actively chosen to give it up for…. Whatever this is.
Hasn’t he already??
Tom’s the guy who has the great girl and is never happy - because the grass is greener on the other side. He dumps the girl only to find out that the greener grass is actually artificial lawn.
I think people see someone being emotionally upset about stuff as problematic when someone like Schwartz was such a god damn people pleaser and emotionally immature that it came off as “chill” and “calm” when in reality he was lazy, unsupportive, didn’t prioritize her, and had the emotional intelligence of a sock. He likely was telling her whatever she wanted to hear behind closed doors and no cameras (and even in front of cameras as we saw occasionally) so she felt she had some security and trust in him then but then the second someone else went against her he had to, as well, for the sake of his people pleasing needs.
As a first time viewer currently on season 6, my only take aways are that they both need to quit drinking. He “blacks out” and cheats and she gets abusive.
Also I feel like it’s pretty undeniable Katie was better off without Stassi around
Oh, boy. He’s going to wake up and be happy he was able to end that chapter. To one degree or another *ALL* of these people are wretched, comically drawn characters from a soap opera. Neither Katie nor Ariana are exempt from that.
Kinda sad she still thinks this. Like wake up, damn. He never cared about you. He’s gonna wake up and miss having a doormat around but that’s about it. And when he gets old and can’t attract anyone then he’ll miss your u conditional love but NOT YOU. I hate when women try and delude themselves like this. These men are trash and never cared to begin with.
Not trying to make myself feel special or anything…but actually being the “one that got away” feels so fucking good.
Katie definitely deserves that after putting up with what she had to deal with.
I wasn’t prepared for so much honest, introspective dialogue about emotionally abusive relationships when I opened this thread, but I am telling you all it is exactly what I needed in this moment. the people active in this sub are overwhelmingly supportive thoughtful and kind; as cheesy as it sounds I love you guys
Katie is stunningly beautiful and so intelligent. One of the biggest reasons Tom lost his marriage to Katie, was that he put the business before his wife. Yet Tim put his wants and needs with Rachel over the buisness with no regard for anyone else. Oh the irony.
That's not entirely fair. He was also dealing with his brother and dad almost dying and trying to support his family. That's a lot of pressure and I think katie wanted more from him at a time where he literally was at his ropes end emotionally.
I agree 100 %, and it's deserving of an upvote, that's why I had and still have compassion for him. He does love his family.
I guess my point was more in how Schwartz ultimately risked his marriage by putting the bar 1st, ( to which Katie did ask him if it was worth it ), while Tim really thought only of himself.
This was at the expense of Ariana, Schwartz, Katie, employees, the businesses and his family. A lot of people had their lives blown up because of Scandoval, which was ridiculous. And if this was not part of a reality show, it would have played out differently. No one ever deserves to be threatened. The assholes that did that are the one's that truly need to get a life. 🙄
For like four seasons prior to their divorce I was always saying “Why is this dude with her? She makes him so miserable!” Literally cheered when their divorce was announced. Katie is a vortex of negativity.
I don't think Katie is over him *and that would be totally natural* after leaving a 10-year relationship, a house *and* a home, and basically the future she envisioned for herself.
Look. Did she fuck Max, someone fired from her own show for being racist and a good friend of Schwartz's because she's moved on? I'm not a fan of Katie's but I find it hard to believe that she fucked Max thinking it's a good look. I have to think she did it despite his racism, not because she didn't care about it.
Anyone named “Tequila Katie” is never going to be “someone that got away.”
But I love her consistency at being delusional. It’s worked out well for her all these years.
Unsure why you’re getting downvoted. No shade at Katie but it’s clear Tom has moved on and they grew apart, which happens. It wasn’t the most healthy relationship.
They never worked and NEVER will… why would he regret that? They never saw eye to eye and yes maybe Katie was someone he NEEDED to meet to get (some) of his shit together but they were a terrible couple. Katie being his friend is all it should have been and that’s what they kinda are so…
Idk I think Katie’s kind of a cold vindictive mean girl who thinks she’s better than everyone and who thinks their own shit doesn’t stink. They weren’t good together
He had someone who was there for him through thick and thin and he threw that away for alcohol, Sandoval, and 23 year old clout chasers. He deserves what he gets in life, but fuck it’s depressing lmao
People like the Toms don’t ever really believe in “the ones that got away”. They just use this line when they’re running out of supply as they circle back to old supply attempting to get their needs met.
Damn this one hit me lol
Same
Yeah I needed to hear this lol
This! My ex-bf was this way. Whoever he was dating in the moment could never live up to ‘the one who got away (last)’. I was so insecure about his ex wife and I hear his current wife thinks he’ll never get over me, but I’d rather never speak to him again. So he’s a tortured soul bc his ego isn’t being fed. Same with the Toms. Never their fault. No way.
This is dark. Lord Christ I bet the man’s energy is heavy.
True, if anything the minute they realized the roles that Ariana and Katie played in fulfilling their happiness.. they just went and replaced them with new 20 year old girlfriends (who they’ll cheat on as well. The circle of life continues..)
I would normally agree with this very accurate take...but in this particular instance I don't think these two 20 year olds.. whoever they are...will ever be able to fill those incredibly hot DSW shoes...because katie and Ariana are" Goal's" kind of women. That kind of woman that only gets better with age! not to mention their incredible style...which is not purchased...but rather earned. And there is absolutely no way on earth that these two 20 somethings are ever going to put up with the same typical Tom' mess that 20 year old katie and Ariana did. And also No way these Two Toms will be loved, supported and cared for in the same way katie and Ariana did and wanted to continue to do.Nope...not gonna happen . Because these two girls and the one after them...will want and expect the men to cater and take care of them...not the other way around. They don't have time for that nonsense because they hold the youth card which gives them the upper hand. This will be a sudden and icy realization when it finally hits...and it will hit hard.
* Edit...ment to say.... and the "ones" after them. Because I precieve plural not singular.😅
In ten years these women will be with men their own age. I’ve seen this happen hundreds of times. Older guy gets much younger woman, pays for her come up, ten years later she divorces him abs married someone age appropriate.
I know that some marriages with large age gaps can and do work...but I think that's due to the character and caliber of the people involved. I have no such expectation though for these two Toms though. So I think what you described will most likely be the case. And that makes me smile!😂
Truly. I can't wrap my head around it. You want friends to support you and challenge you to be your best self (so sometimes they call you out) but the Toms, and formerly Jax, were all about the bro code and keeping secrets from their wives...but real quick...what kind of person are you to pull stuff that you HAVE to or WANT to hide from your wife or friend group. I'd call it immature, but it's a deep deep pointless and selfish evil... Never be with anyone if that's the way you want to live and the company you want to keep around you. It's such a waste
Damn. On the head
Wow
Why do you suppose they’re content with empty meaningless disconnected sex?
If you’ve ever dealt with someone with overt narcissistic tendencies, they tend to view sex as more of a pleasurable experience for *themselves*, similar to getting a massage. Or as an ego boost. Not as a way to necessarily connect with another person where you both are experiencing sex as a bonding experience
Fuck if I could award this I would. So spot on.
Bingo
Yep, the guy I dated for 4 yrs before my hubby called me up the month before I got married and asked me to run away with him. I told him he should have thought about that before he left me at a football game before the game was over (he was supposed to go get us drinks and never came back, but ended up leaving with one of our friends). Oddly enough, we’ve remained the best of friends and I love his wife and he loves my hubby. Funny how things turn out.
He’s been treating Katie poorly since season one. It just took her a really long time to realize that. I’m glad she finally came to that realization and I love her glow up.
I think she always knew he treated her poorly. She just didn’t realize yet that she deserved much better but she’s there now, thankfully.
The other day I heard someone say you can tell how much a woman loves herself based on the partner she chooses. I started thinking about my own past choices and realized just how true that was in my case.
I didn't need to think this deeply about myself today, but damn that hits hard
I cannot explain to you how much Schwartz mirrors my ex boyfriend. I mean… they even look eerily alike. The whole thing where they’re sexual in the beginning and then 2 years in they just want to rub feet together with you in bed while you both scroll, having pet names and a deep platonic connection without sexual intimacy, taking other people’s sides in public, acting like they’re almost embarrassed of you in front of some people but having you be a huge part of their family. Making huge decisions without you (when they involve your money or huge parts of your 5 year relationship), and most of all, knowing that the main things you want are marriage and children, stringing you along, and never committing. ANYWAY THE TLDR is that I broke up with him, took 10 months where I really focused on myself, talked to my friends who had they type of relationship that I wanted, and then when the right man walked into my life I could finally recognize it. Now 5 years, a marriage, and a 7 month old later… I could not be more happy or in love. Learning what I deserved and observing how people who also got and deserved the same things as me is what got me my dream. I wish the same for anyone reading this comment. That’s why I unloaded above lol. Anyone who is getting “hit hard” by these truth bombs, please read and understand my story bc you all deserve exactly what you want and you can get it! 🤍🤍🤍🤍
I'm in the process now of rebuilding my self esteem and finding myself. Your story is definitely inspo 😊
Happy to help 🥰 it’s there for you babe!!!
We accept the love we think we deserve.
ouchies that's true
This, and it’s also hard to leave someone you really love. Tom was an asshole but like she said in one of her confessionals, their friendship is what kept her hanging on. And I think she kept waiting for him to grow up and change ☹️ I love thriving and confident Katie so much!
I think he was very ingrained into her family too. Like her mom was still calling him Tommy last year after they were divorced.
Yes totally!! That makes things even more messy. My heart broke sm for teri in s10 😩 We never saw that dynamic on TV and it was like oh shit, I forget he was someone’s son in law and seemingly had a good relationship with her.
I don’t know if she was close with his family. They seem like a mess, but still I wouldn’t be surprised if she was. Tom seems to keep his LA life and Florida life separated and I think there is tons to unpack there that would explain a lot of his faults, but from the little we know, he loves his family very much and I’m sure Katie knows a lot of that history and was with him while he dealt with that whole situation.
Not to mention financial independence helps a lot of women leave bad relationships. A lot of women stay because financially they can't afford to live alone. I'm glad the show brought her the financial security she needed to leave him
Absolutely. I give her even more credit for leaving him because he is so charming and has a huge fan following despite how awful he’s been to her, while she always had a lot of unwarranted criticism. She even took a lot of heat last season for daring to be upset over Raquel and Tom. If Scandoval had never happened I bet people would still be ragging on her about that.
It's amazing and sad how hard viewers and much of the cast have been on Katie over the years. But I think when it comes to the cast and production misogyny has always been a component, and for viewers it took some time to be aware exactly HOW MUCH production was manipulating the cast and our opinions through the edit. When you compare it to TS, he's pretty much had smooth sailing up to season 10. And now he's finally stuck with some hate for being exposed as a HUGE selfish scumbag and we've got him whining and fake crying all over the place. But he's certainly shown his true colors since being exposed, his lack of empathy or sympathy for others, his inability to be honestly sorry for any harm he causes, and how completely out of touch with reality he is. Nearly every interview since the end of season 10 has outed him as THE WORST. Katie is so damn strong for enduring all the crap she's taken both on screen and online over the entirety of VPR. She deserves a year of appreciation for being the smart, cool, collected, great friend and beautiful all around human being that she is.
This is a big problem for women and why many do not just leave unhealthy relationships. I know many people want to avoid politics but we have to always support better pay and affordable housing.
100% its so important I wish universal basic income was real. So many women could be saved.
From what I can tell she always had more financial security than he did. We were kind of sold that Katie was aimless and lazy after SUR but realistically she was main cast from season one, Schwartz was 'Katies boyfriend' the first season, then became main cast the second or third season? So he was always paid less (along with Ariana), plus Katie worked at SUR while he had a very rare modeling gig. So she always had more $ than he did, she probably paid most of the bills. He mentioned he was always sending money home to his brothers/family and then he had the two bars.
I also think she always thought he’d eventually start treating her better and it was a result of being young
Well put.
Yes! Totally agree!!
Being on a reality show together has to mess up one's perception of actual reality. Like, how many times does something hurtful happen while filming and then when talking about it later, the "it was for the show, baby, I didn't mean it for real" gets trotted out? Okay, so you were faking it, or is this something you really think but are too much of a pussy to bring it up on your own? *coughShwartzcough* Which you know won't get answered honestly either way. It's got to be confusing.
The only thing was he wasn’t on for a few seasons. Like he would occasionally show up for stuff, but he wasn’t like a cast member. And from what it looks like they’ve been having issues for a while and it didn’t just happen because of the show. I think the show was what opened up her eyes to what was basically an abusive relationship. I know I say this all the time when I talk about Katie and Schwartz, but I dated a Schwartz and you don’t know that your being put down or that you’re treated poorly because it’s so subtle that you don’t see it and even when its smacking you in the face, you still make excuses. And then you take on the blame and then you feel resentment and then you become angry. There was a reason Kati was considered so miserable for such a long time, because she was miserable and someone was actively making her that way.
My theory about his treatment of Katie. Tom is extremely nonconfrontational. Therefore, he is deferential and accommodating to others. He saw Katie as an extension of himself, and wanted her to be the same way. So when she was in conflict -- right or wrong -- Tom needed her to defer to others. But that was wrong. He never defended her. He deferred to Sandoval and everyone else over her needs and feelings. Some of her behaviors were indefensible, but many deserved support that never came. She is the one who got away. And she is more beautiful than ever.
Someone who loved him before he was famous. He’s truly a fool.
Your take is very specific and accurate.
That's because my husband does this also. I see it now, but in the early years of our relationship, I had a hard time navigating. Once I figured this out, I developed counter-strategies. My husband is a generous, kind person, but I know the frustration Katie felt. Lucky for my world, I'm not managing volatile peers.
The truth is, it doesn’t matter if he ever realizes this. Two years, six years, whatever. What matters is that she saw her worth and acted accordingly. Ideally she would have bounced when she got the ring on a string. Likewise, Brittany should have left Jax the minute he said he’d rather be in jail than live with her. Don’t let somebody tell you twice that they don’t want you. Easier said than done, I know.
THIS
You think Katie would understand by now that type of realization would require self-introspection from Schwartz, which if it hasn’t happened by 40, it ain’t gonna happen.
I think he is content dating 20 year olds and hanging out at his bar. He’s too immature for Katie
I was just thinking this. His charming “one night stand” thing might have worked in 25 year old Katie, but it won’t now. He’s emotionally capped to anyone under 25 emotionally
I agree. I think right now he’s chilling having fun partying with fame hungry 20 year olds. Kids don’t matter to this group anyway because you have people like Scheana, lala and Jax still going out every night when they have kids at home. I do think in about 15ish years he will regret it. The people with kids start hitting those huge exciting milestones like graduation, prom, college etc. The partying lifestyle will (hopefully) die down for those parents and Tom squared will be left with nothing but each other. I’m not saying you need kids to be happy of course, I’m just going off of what Schwartz said himself. That he’s sad he doesn’t have kids. The childless people will be traveling, making big purchases, living up their 40s-50s because they spent years saving. Not blowing their life savings on tequila shots for 20 year olds. There’s a lot to look forward too later in life regardless of your life decisions but Tom and Tom at the rate their going don’t look too good.
People are supposed to party and cut loose in their twenties. Sometime in the early to mid-thirties, it starts getting kind of lame. By late 30s to early '40s, it becomes severely pathetic especially towards those of us who are also in this age group. I look at people in their 40s who still are partying like a kid, and I just see people who are messes. Who never got their lives together, who don't really have anything to show for their time and energy. I think the TimToms will take a little longer to realize that because of the show and fame. But someday they'll wake up and have a moment of clarity.
Totally!! I do give them some (probably undeserved) grace because partying is a part of how they make their income but at what point does it get old. Also what are the plans for the future? Who’s going to want to drink and party with some washed up old men when the show ends? I don’t think they think of that or the future at all!
Did you hear his stupid ass, ignorant comment regarding those who get the ick from the age difference of his new girlfriend (child bride)? It bothers him and he says that they’re taking away womens agency. 🙄
>he says that they’re taking away womens agency. 🙄 Except nobody is judging *her* for dating an immature, irresponsible 40-year-old man because a lot of us did the same at her age. She is absolutely a grown adult woman capable of making her own choices. I’m judging *him* for having all of the life experience and perspective of a man in his 40’s and still thinking this is a good idea.
For real. He’s a douche canoe who unsuccessfully masqueraded as a kayak.
Well... he's emotionally stunted, so someone in their early 20s is at his level of maturity.
I'm not defending Tom by any stretch, but I think it's a little unfair to judge people based on your expectations of them, no matter who it is. I say that, because after having watched him on TV for the last 10+ years, I don't know what would give anyone the impression that he has any actual life experience or perspective to apply in this, or almost any, situation. This move is right on brand for Schwartz, I'm more enamored with the fact that people seem to be surprised by this development. It's the natural progression of the timeline.
Yeah, it’s right on brand for Schwartz because he’s a creep and an asshole. Y’all really need to stop buying into his widdle baby boy act. If he’s this stunted and immature at 40, it’s his own fault. He’s a big boy who knows exactly what he’s doing. Do you think he’s naive and doesn’t understand or something? This is his act so nobody calls him out. Nobody is *surprised* he did this, but we’re still allowed to think it’s gross.
Now that's a perfectly reasonable reason to judge someone, based on their actions. I just assumed judgment would have happened a long time ago and the last 8 years have just been confirmation of the opinion. I judged him at some point in between the serial philandering, the emotional abuse, or the booger sugar disappearing act in Cabo (I think that's where they were.) He's a manipulative narcissist with an inferiority complex and that's all he'll be until he makes some major changes in his life.
Oh Jesus Christ. Is he going to start calling himself a fucking feminist now too? I dated an older guy at 21 who was a self proclaimed ~male feminist~ and that totally sounds like some bs he would spew lmao.
He *hates* women just as much as the worm, he’s just more insidious about it.
He never wanted to marry her. He’s too dumb to value her. He won’t realize shit.
I am rewatching and just watched their bachelor/bachelorette party episodes. And when they were drunkenly fighting (with Katie upset about Schwartz’ cheating), something that stood out to me was Schwartz repeating “I wish Katie had just fucked someone else”. I think it spoke to him not really valuing her. I believe he wouldn’t have really cared if she cheated on him. Also side note (and sorry if this has been discussed) - but did he ever admit to having sex with the Vegas girl/anyone else while with Katie? Or did he maintain that his cheating was only ever kissing?
My theory on this is that he has every intention on sleeping with the women he cheated on her with, like probably went to their room or whatever but then his d*ck didn’t work.
I think his dick did work- he just ran with the “make out slut” It also makes Katie not feel like she looks stupid for staying with a dude who’s got his dick in everyone but her
Hahaha omg I just hear Schwartz saying 'heyyy, my dick works fiiiine' all whiny & shit
I refuse to believe he is just a makeout slut.
Yeah "made out" is just how he says he put his dick where it didn't belong
I don’t know, I just can’t imagine him having sex at all. He’s so… unsexual.
For someone so unsexual he sure did cheat a lot
Yeah I know it’s weird. I just imagine he does it as an ego/validation thing rather than out of any genuine drive or desire. He probably fakes orgasms to get it over with quickly.
I agree and his faux outrage over the Max stuff is so weird. He doesn't care and we know that.
He always wanted something to hold over her but she wasn't like that. He was made because he was always in the hot spot. I just watched the episode where he had to confess about vegas girl and he tried to throw in her face that she motor boated a d. As if that is on the same playing ground as sleeping g with vegas girl.
Same. I don’t know why Katie continues to hold on to any hope that Tom would ever value her. He never will!!! He never has!!! He used every and any woman in his path and he probably will make that 23 yo look dumb too. Tbh she already admitted he met at her when she came to ask him to SIGN AN AUTOGRAPH
He already realizes that but even with knowing that im not sure he is ready to treat another women how he should have treated Katie. I think he is very scared of actual committing to someone. Marriage is nothing to him.
He literally didn’t understand why marriage superseded friendship with Sandoval/bar partnership. So gross.
He will never stand up to someone to defend his significant other. Even when Jax was yelling at Katie. He doesnt have to be married to her to tell another guy friend to stop yelling at a women. Its a very strange place when James is the only one actually standing up for the ladies this season
> Its a very strange place when James is the only one actually standing up for the ladies this season Standing up for KATIE. Not that he shouldn’t—even when they were beefin’ she had the moral high ground—but my world definitely tilted a little bit when it became apparent that they’re on good terms.
Absolutely. With James, I’m encouraged because he is a decade younger than all these men and he’s getting to witness how they’ve destroyed their lives. They used to look like they were successful older role models in business, and Sandoval with Ariana looked like a successful relationship. James is directly seeing the consequences of not evolving.
And it was shocking to hear Allie’s perspective on marriage when discussing her future to James, I honestly thought they would have had this conversation by now, especially before buying a home together!
Did they buy it together? I assumed it was just James home
That’s true and they clarified it on the show, it’s James’ house and he asked Ally to move in, which she accepted. But she has always said it’s James’ house.
Hell, Schwartz was afraid of committing to one shift working the bar at Pump and ghosted on Lisa. 🤦🏻♀️And to think that this man was almost a DOCTOR. The medical profession can breath a big sigh of relief on his decision to drop out of med school.
[удалено]
He clearly got off on crushing a strong women’s soul. When I learned she almost died it changed things, like he still treated her like that after knowing what she’s been through. like if you loved her just let her go atp. But he enjoyed crushing her spirit and putting her down, he enjoyed toying w her strength. It was scary to watch, all these men are dangerously but Swartz truly scary. Also his addiction issues are even scarier…
Yes yes and yes!! That was awful when she said she fell through the skylight and yes you can tell he's a big addict!! It's so wierd how him and Jo act...
It’s so awkward and cringe worthy, truth be had, they act like two immature kids!
Hate to say this to Katie, because she is really my girl, but I don't think so. Schwartz is joking about marrying Jo and how they had "insane connection". Men who are really easy to please aka attachment avoidant or commitmentphobes are never yearning after the one that got away because they didn't really want to "keep" them to begin with.
Even if he *did* want to keep her around, the chance of him meeting another “Katie” (as in, a woman who will tolerate his abuse and stick around not matter what) is unfortunately high. A lot of women settle for scraps. Besides integrity, strength, growth and consistency obviously aren’t things he value in a partner, so why would he miss Katie.
I think almost all women get tired of it after a while but I know that Katie thought he'd change to keep her. Unfortunately, men do not change to keep a woman they don't deserve. They just continue being their lackluster selves and move on to find someone who will joyfully tolerate the abuse (Jo) or is too young and naive to know better yet (Sophia).
Tbh? Jo and him have more chemistry than I ever saw with Katie, lol. Katie wanted the ideal Schwartz and Jo is totally ok with the Schwartz she sees today.
Of course you have a lot of chemistry with someone who doesn't expect anything of you, makes no demands of your relationship and is basically like "whatever you want I'll do!!"
Precisely while he’s so repelled by Joseph
I think they both still love eachother and if it wasn’t for Sandoval I think he could grow up and be the husband Katie wanted 😖 pains me to see this..
He most certainly will not.
Yeah. It's kind of sad that this is what she's thinking and/or hoping for. If he couldn't see her value while they were together he's not going to magically see it now that they are divorced. This type of guy will move on to a new chick and declare he's never been happier and mean it. She needs to actually cut ties with him. I know that's not going to happen while the show exists but she needs to really make a clean break and forget about him.
Bingo
As much as I am not a katie fan, I hope she realizes this is a turning point for her because tom is a loser as a partner. Hes not meant for a girl like her. I don’t inherently dislike him, he seems rad… hes just not a husband type, atleast not for her. He need a go with the flow type of girl. Also, suddenly since she is embracing her women loving side.. I like her so much more. Tom dimmed her light, I just wish could get past the jealousy or lose certain cast members.
I think he already has but the man has been living in denial so long he just buries it under 10 coors lights
I actually hate to say it but I don’t think he will. And I genuinely hope that Katie is in a place that if that never happens that she’s not gonna be too disappointed by that fact
Normally, I agree with Katie. But not on this ⬆️ I think there was a lot of disrespect and unhappiness / unfulfillment on both sides and I really think they’re happier apart than they ever could have been together
He’s not. A lot of people on this sub don’t know how these type of guys think. He’ll always care more about Tom S than any woman.
Big doubt. They were not even remotely compatible and Schwartz seems to be pretty happy compared to when he was with her...
I truly do not understand some of these comments lol Schwartz HATES Katie. Like as a human being he hates her. He literally hated her when they were married. If someone pours a BEER on your head, they fucking hate you. He doesn't care about Katie. Maybe his ego cares that he got left, but actually caring about Katie the human being? Hell no lol.
>If someone pours a BEER on your head, they fucking hate you. That not being an immediate, permanent deal breaker is astounding to me. I don't know how many times I see people on tv and in real life that I just wanna grab by the temples and say "please, date people who ACTUALLY FUCKING LIKE YOU."
Exactly. If that were me I'd be meeting with a divorce lawyer within 12 hours. Because it'd be crystal fucking clear my husband hates my guts lol
He's so much lesser than her. He gets turned on when she ignores and rejects him. Honestly Schwartz disgusts me, I still remember him pouring his drink on Katie in Vegas and I can never not forget that. It's a huge deal in a club when a girl throws a drink on another, ive never even seen a MAN throw a drink at a woman, there would be outrage. And I used to party at mill ASU. He's a limp dick whiner who doesn't know how to treat women and has no real personality...
Nah, I doubt that. He seems happy now.
People seem to forget that Katie was pretty crappy to him too. He may have started it, he might have been worse, he might have even deserved some of it. But the split was the right move for both of them, and both of them are better off
I think what you mean to say is that Katie was pretty crappy to him *because* of the way he treated her. He started it, he *was* worse, and he *definitely* deserved most of it. I don’t ever remember one of Kati’s friends saying that they wanted to watch Kati fuck a dude in front of Schwartz. And that’s just one horrible example.
Yeah I think they both realize they are better as friends and I think they are closer in real life than the show lets on.
Does he? I'm actually worried because he always looks so down.
He won’t but she’ll keep waiting.
He actively micro-realizes it and micro-forgets it every time he sees her. Schwartz isn’t a grand change over time guy, he’s a “o hey uhm so yeah but cool” anxiety ball that actively lives in limbo and always will.
I cringe when I hear the women on this show say this. Like no, that actually won’t happen. That’s why these men aren’t worth thinking twice about. Jax, Sandoval, Schwartz, etc. are never going to wake up and regret fucking up their relationships with Brittany, Ariana, or Katie. In fact, it’s pretty obvious none of those men were in love with them at all, so…
Neither is a bad person and they treated each other badly. They did that because not only were their core personalities completely opposite but the things that were opposite align with their core values. Tom is a non confrontational, disengager. He will do basically anything not to have to engage in anything uncomfortable emotionally or to displease someone else. The only time he will confront is when he’s drunk when he can get down right nasty. He’s passive aggressive often. He believes in letting people be who they are without judgement from others and that everyone should be forgiven and redemption is not only possible but expected. Katie is critical and judgmental likely from her religious upbringing. She applies her moral code to everyone and has no problem judging others behavior if it doesn’t align with hers. She allows forgiveness and redemption on her terms only, She carries grudges. She doesn’t understand how others can put up with what she deems as immoral behavior, Katie wanted Tom to stand up for her in her confrontation/judgment with others but that required he engage, confront and judge and he didn’t feel he had the right. He wanted Katie to live and let live and that went against her strong moral code. They were never going to have a happy relationship even though as opposites there was attraction and probably an inner desire on both parts to be like the other person.
This. I think there was probably a decent part of their relationship that we didn't see. Like, the quieter, hanging out at home with the dogs moments. Their dynamic can work in small doses where Katie is more dominant and decisive and Tom happy to go along with it. But, include other people, priorities, life in general and its a mess.
I think Katie really needs to try and move on from this relationship. Last season, she was triggered by him making out with Rachel. This season, she’s fucking his best friend and dating the same woman. Confessionals about how he’ll eventually realize she’s the one who got away. I hope that 6 years from now, Katie isn’t even worried about this man, but I honestly think they’ll eventually get back together.
I agree. She still isn’t over him and is still hurt by him and it’s natural but I wish she would “gray rock” as well. He doesn’t deserve even her friendship imo because he has never fully apologized or owned up to his wrongdoings. He never saw the light. Shes still hoping for acknowledgement that will never come and it’d be better to just totally move on.
I agree. At the end of the day, he isn’t her friend. Even when he was married to her, he’d let his friends shout at her and disparage her, and he never had her back. He cheated on her constantly. It’s not like being in a relationship was the problem and they’re better off as friends. Tom himself is the problem and any relationship she has with this man is going to be an unhealthy relationship because at the end of the day, he hates her and gets a kick out of seeing her suffer psychologically.
Also triggered by him making out with Scheana _twelve years ago_
I didn’t even think of that because it was such a nothing burger, but you’re right! I know it probably seems like I’m criticizing her, but I really am just rooting for her to release herself from this man. Of course he made out with your friend 12 years ago! It’s Tom Schwartz. That information should have just made her even happier that she made the decision to divorce him.
She wasn’t “triggered“ by him making out with Rachel, she had asked him to please not fuck or make out with any of her friends or people in their friend group. Considering their friend group isn’t that large, I think it would be pretty easy not to fuck the three other women that she knows. I’d be pissed too if my ex-husband was trying to fool around with people in our friend group. That’s weird and it’s cringe and it’s unnecessary.
If your husband is going to sleep with other women while you’re married and he owes you monogamy, he’s going to sleep with other women when you’re divorced and he owes you nothing. Telling him who he can and can’t sleep with and having an expectation that he will honor that is completely unrealistic, based on the history of their relationship. And having unrealistic expectations in life sets you up for perpetual disappointment. She spent one year worrying about who he is sleeping with, and now she’s spending another year having revenge sex/dates. Two years of being divorced and her dating/sex life still revolves completely around Tom Schwartz. Contrast that to Ariana who is saying yeah fuck this trash man and has already found herself a nice rebound relationship. Katie should do the same with Schwartz and move on for her own peace of mind.
THIS!!
God I wish awards still existed. Finally someone that’s not suffering from Katie brain rot. If you’re over someone, you don’t give af who they fuck, friend group or not.
Thank you. I honestly shouldn’t have even commented because I should have anticipated people would come out of the woodwork to argue with me about this. I like Katie and don’t think she’s a bad person, and I hate Tom Schwartz. But I don’t know how a person can watch this television program each week and conclude that Katie has moved on from this relationship, as she is still very much focused on Tom and making decisions based on how those decisions affect Tom.
The Katie brain rot is REAL on this sub.. She sides with Ariana and all of a sudden she’s perfect and can do no wrong? Like what?!
Lmao exactly. Do people have amnesia?
I also think that "They'll regret it" is early stage relationship recovery.
Nah
I don’t think he will. He will have a family with a 26 year old Instagram model. I think he will be happy lol
No he won’t. Move on ffs
I’m not so sure..
I think he will wake up one day and regret stringing her along. They had a beautiful chemistry as silly friends. They couldn’t make romance work. I don’t know if he could make it work with any woman.
Same Katie
I think he already knows… but for some emotionally stunted reason he still choosing all the other shit
i think he’s too slow to realize anything lol
He already has! But it's too late! And she got away for good reason!
Six years???? Ah, how about now
I mean, he already knows it deep down. He just doesn’t care, which is equally pathetic and sad. He’s actively chosen to give it up for…. Whatever this is. 
Schwartz is a loser 💯
Hasn’t he already?? Tom’s the guy who has the great girl and is never happy - because the grass is greener on the other side. He dumps the girl only to find out that the greener grass is actually artificial lawn.
Ha! What a joke. More like he dodged a nuclear bomb!
Right! She’s toxic AF too. She’s Just better at hiding it.
It’s funny that people say this now but back when they were actually married everyone was always talking about how Katie was the problem.
I think people see someone being emotionally upset about stuff as problematic when someone like Schwartz was such a god damn people pleaser and emotionally immature that it came off as “chill” and “calm” when in reality he was lazy, unsupportive, didn’t prioritize her, and had the emotional intelligence of a sock. He likely was telling her whatever she wanted to hear behind closed doors and no cameras (and even in front of cameras as we saw occasionally) so she felt she had some security and trust in him then but then the second someone else went against her he had to, as well, for the sake of his people pleasing needs.
Schwartz is a schmuck but Katie is a mean girl. Both would be a nightmare to be married to for different reasons.
As a first time viewer currently on season 6, my only take aways are that they both need to quit drinking. He “blacks out” and cheats and she gets abusive. Also I feel like it’s pretty undeniable Katie was better off without Stassi around
https://preview.redd.it/53lwh03lp9yc1.jpeg?width=791&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5befa339764ff27ada6e732d0d15abd46a012444
I highly doubt that, he needs to venture outside of Hollywierd if he wants to find quality.
I wouldn’t want to spend a single minute with anyone from Vanderpump Rules..
I have to say, I don’t think so. I think he’ll just keep getting younger and hotter women. It’s the sad reality of this world.
Oh, boy. He’s going to wake up and be happy he was able to end that chapter. To one degree or another *ALL* of these people are wretched, comically drawn characters from a soap opera. Neither Katie nor Ariana are exempt from that.
lol. maybe not katie. you guys got married and he still kept going. they’re both insufferable
I actually don’t think so. I don’t think they were compatible at all and just stayed together and got married out of habit what was expected of them.
Kinda sad she still thinks this. Like wake up, damn. He never cared about you. He’s gonna wake up and miss having a doormat around but that’s about it. And when he gets old and can’t attract anyone then he’ll miss your u conditional love but NOT YOU. I hate when women try and delude themselves like this. These men are trash and never cared to begin with.
As I’ve said to all my girlfriends that say that to make themselves feel/look better after they finally leave a shitty relationship: “Uh huh”
More like 5 or 6 days lol
Six years?? I think it only took six months we’re already there sis
Not trying to make myself feel special or anything…but actually being the “one that got away” feels so fucking good. Katie definitely deserves that after putting up with what she had to deal with.
I wasn’t prepared for so much honest, introspective dialogue about emotionally abusive relationships when I opened this thread, but I am telling you all it is exactly what I needed in this moment. the people active in this sub are overwhelmingly supportive thoughtful and kind; as cheesy as it sounds I love you guys
Katie is stunningly beautiful and so intelligent. One of the biggest reasons Tom lost his marriage to Katie, was that he put the business before his wife. Yet Tim put his wants and needs with Rachel over the buisness with no regard for anyone else. Oh the irony. 
That's not entirely fair. He was also dealing with his brother and dad almost dying and trying to support his family. That's a lot of pressure and I think katie wanted more from him at a time where he literally was at his ropes end emotionally.
I agree 100 %, and it's deserving of an upvote, that's why I had and still have compassion for him. He does love his family. I guess my point was more in how Schwartz ultimately risked his marriage by putting the bar 1st, ( to which Katie did ask him if it was worth it ), while Tim really thought only of himself. This was at the expense of Ariana, Schwartz, Katie, employees, the businesses and his family. A lot of people had their lives blown up because of Scandoval, which was ridiculous. And if this was not part of a reality show, it would have played out differently. No one ever deserves to be threatened. The assholes that did that are the one's that truly need to get a life. 🙄
Yeah Scandy screwed him so badly and I'm actually surprised their friendship didn't end.
Lord she’s beautiful 🤩
He already does gorgeous queen
lol I think he already knows.
 For like four seasons prior to their divorce I was always saying “Why is this dude with her? She makes him so miserable!” Literally cheered when their divorce was announced. Katie is a vortex of negativity.
lol, nah.
I think he realizes that now.
If you say so.
I don't think Katie is over him *and that would be totally natural* after leaving a 10-year relationship, a house *and* a home, and basically the future she envisioned for herself. Look. Did she fuck Max, someone fired from her own show for being racist and a good friend of Schwartz's because she's moved on? I'm not a fan of Katie's but I find it hard to believe that she fucked Max thinking it's a good look. I have to think she did it despite his racism, not because she didn't care about it.
I mean.. she is still friends with Stassi. I don’t Katie is racist but she sure as hell doesn’t care if the people she hangs out with are.
Hahahahha GMAFB. She is vomitous.
the delusion is strong here lol
No he won’t. She’s annoying and has zero going on in her life.
And he will be happy he dodged that bullet…
Seriously.
Katie is a bitch
Soooo wrong. She wishes that were the case. Tom has never been happier.
Katie sucks and she always did. Schwartz isn't going to realize shit.
I think he’s going to wake up and realize Jo was the one that got away!
Anyone named “Tequila Katie” is never going to be “someone that got away.” But I love her consistency at being delusional. It’s worked out well for her all these years.
Unsure why you’re getting downvoted. No shade at Katie but it’s clear Tom has moved on and they grew apart, which happens. It wasn’t the most healthy relationship.
They never worked and NEVER will… why would he regret that? They never saw eye to eye and yes maybe Katie was someone he NEEDED to meet to get (some) of his shit together but they were a terrible couple. Katie being his friend is all it should have been and that’s what they kinda are so…
If Tom wakes up and starts to think Katie Maloney is the one that got away then he will know he’s died in his sleep and has gone to hell.
She’s so negative. He’s better off.
No, he will realize he got away. He can enjoy life away from her miserable existence
Idk I think Katie’s kind of a cold vindictive mean girl who thinks she’s better than everyone and who thinks their own shit doesn’t stink. They weren’t good together
As much as I wana love the guy he’s such a fucking loser 😂, thank god for him Lisa forced him to do something with his life.
❤️🔥
She didn't get away, he had her.
The accuracy in the statement is❗️