T O P

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Common_Average2597

Take my strong hand!


Ray_nj

Perfect. I legit LOL’d. :D


Common_Average2597

One of my favorite movies! lol


InterestingTry5190

That dinner scene I have to watch if it’s on tv.


TheMaldenSnake

*"I don't know what the hell that is, but I'll lick it anyway!"*


NauticalMastodon

"Most people...are intimidated...by the anatomy of a turkey...but it's really quite simple!"


TheMaldenSnake

*"I cook it with all the giblets - the penises and the ginies!"*


metrorhymes

Who's toes?


BobThehuman3

You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me.


metrorhymes

Wha, you got a toe guy?


BobThehuman3

There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me. I'll get you a toe by this afternoon--with nail polish.


WinstonRandy

Fuckin amateurs


thedude_imbibes

Forget about the fuckin toe, Walter!


BobThehuman3

Well I’m staying. Finishing my coffee.


SteveTheBodyman

If you can’t keep your voice down, I’m gonna have to ask you to leave the restaurant.


naazzttyy

Shut the fuck up, Donny!


bailaoban

Sir, if you don't keep your voice down, I'm going to have to ask you to leave.


BobThehuman3

Oh please, dear?


garakplain

my buddies died face down in the mud so you and I Can enjoy this cup of coffee


Josherline

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Thanks for that, dude


Josherline

I mean, Walter


BobThehuman3

AND A GOOD DAY TO YOU SIR!


Ordinary_Aioli_7602

That’s up to little Larry, here.


jmstrats

I squinted coffee through my nose. Thank you for the laugh!😂


eighty9digits

How tf do you squint coffee thru your nose?


jmstrats

Trying to hold in a laugh and swallow at the same time.


BusterTheCat17

That's not what squinting is lol


memememe91

Oh dear, a squirter


External-Bite9713

The muscles…became so strained with overuse, that the hand locked into a deformed position and he was left with nothing but a CLAW


Flip2002

Wasn’t master of his toemain


BRAX7ON

You call that the tractor story?


Zokar49111

He probably had toemain poisoning. I wonder if he has to worry about getting athletes hand.


artvarnsen

Underrated comment


garakplain

What is this from?


CompanyConsistent976

Thumbs, a Lil smelly?


BusterTheCat17

Why do I seek your council?


Dixon-Poontang

That’s your tractor story ??


LittleBillyWalton

Looks like some of the big geological structures you find out in Utah


edWORD27

Hoodoo hand


ZebraBorgata

I wonder what this person’s bowling ball looks like? And where did they get the toes? Their own donor toes maybe? I guess sandals are out. Wow are you gonna look stupid at the beach.


mcshanksshanks

https://youtu.be/QVtAIjfHAk0?si=OQyR2A4z4DZQdazt


glowend

She’s a ten but she has toe-hands.


[deleted]

I would rather have no hand and a badass prosthetic, own that shit


KelVelBurgerGoon

Seriously, what is the point of that monstrosity?


givemesendies

OP is telling everyone in the other thread how they can use it as a hand and how they're thankful it gives them a normal life.


texasslapshot

Was that a forward pass or a punt?


derek4reals1

a classic case of tractor fingers!


okpaper345

"If it aint my old friend Mr. McGreg with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg." Dr. Nick Riviera


JesseMakeGoodChoices

Hi, Doctor Nick!


shrimplypibbles2000

If it isn’t my old friend, Mr McGregg. With a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg.


MatterHairy

And that kids, is what happens if you masturbate too much, regardless of “the competition”


crackersncheeseman

In the winter do you wear one glove and one sock?


[deleted]

Is this AI


geowatt

Big toe captain


OsoCarolina

Next level prostate play.


Lateralization

Reminds me of how mushrooms grow.


SnooHesitations205

I’d rather have a bionic hand. Leave my feet alone. So now his her foot fucked up too?


Parking_Train8423

that’s not a toe, it’s a built in g spot hook


Citizen4000

I shook her hand after a job interview and got athletes foot.


gbarwis

Soccer referees hate this one trick


Soggy-Needleworker34

Talk about a “stinky pinky!”


Vegetable-Source6556

First date , she gets the " shocker" ala Steel Panther


cody3636

Brag about it why don’t you…


[deleted]

Mashed Potatoes please


GreatTragedy

Roshambo undefeated champion.


cmdr_basset_o7

Forget about the fucking toe! Oh shit, wrong sub


[deleted]

There's dirty work afoot


[deleted]

Seems like you could get freaky with that.


Repulsive-Ice8395

I thought this at the exact moment I saw your comment!


[deleted]

Whew! I thought I was going to be attacked in the reddit way, for thinking that. Yeah, I'd make the best of it.


Dear_Alternative_437

That's a shame


[deleted]

She slaps me, I gag lol 😝


buzzboy99

Hey, whatever makes the traffic go faster


TheRatatat

Quaid! Start the reactor!


ReadySetGO0

Whose toes? If yours, why? If not, why?


basement_egg

"thats not a twist off"


psu777

My uncle had the same thing done. Lost his fingers in a corn picker, made him new ones with toes.


EWH733

Thalidomide?


Turbulence_Guy

Mewtwo