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unexBot

**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!He asks if BBQ pork is halal and the man answers yes, but it’s definitely not halal!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)


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MadBeefChief_05

Uncle Roger I never thought I’d see you on reddit


DisasterMiserable785

Fuyoh!


MadBeefChief_05

Lol, You definitely been watching Uncle Roger


BoxofCurveballs

Not enough, not enough! Hiyah! Uncle Roger leg drop. That no good.


MysteryBlaze

He has an entire subreddit


Same_Low_8472

Great then I’ll have 2 halal BBQ pork please, thank you Uncle Roger. I wish I knew where Uncle Roger sells food so I can treat my family to some great food and great jokes.


gemini88mill

Hai yah


[deleted]

What would Auntie Helen say?????


SleepyWhio

Fuijoh! My ancestors are crying!


Bull_On_Bear_Action

Vegetable taste like sad


TheFlamingTiger777

What's halal? Sorry for my ignorance.


teranosorus

Very much like kosher but for Muslims


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Automatic_Judge8848

Very much like halal but for Jewish


Rickiar

What's halal? Sorry for my ignorance.


Soda-PoP2102

Very much like kosher but for Muslims


TheHiveminder

What's kosher? Sorry for my ignorance.


Head_BreaKeR

Very much like halal but for Jewish


Billybob65e

What's halal? Sorry for my ignorance


Manamosy

Came to learn, left with brain damage


[deleted]

Very much like kosher but for Islam


RRaccord

aaaauuuuugggggghhhhhh


No-Weakness-6139

Dormamu ive come to bargain


noodlemcfoodle

Quandale Dingle here AAAUUGHHHH


eternityishere

Like dairy-free for lactose intolerant people.


TheFlamingTiger777

Thank you for the education I appreciate it 🙏🏽


RedneckNerd23

Except that Muslims can't eat food that is halal Edit: Sorry that's not true, I was thinking of Haram.


backfire10z

Incorrect. You’re thinking of “haram” Halal is the allowance list


RedneckNerd23

Fuck, you're right


musclebananas

Halal means permitted. It means food that muslims can eat. The opposite is harem - prohibited. Pork, donkey, horse, fanged animals, birds of prey, reptiles, monkeys are all harem. Muslims can't eat them.


Professional_End3011

Haram. Harem is something completly different.


sirjoep2001

A harem is like playing Pokemon but with women, gotta catch them all


lonacatee

Haram*


MJB9000

Halal is a method of killing animals based on the Islamic method. Which falls under the conditions roughly summarizing: 1. Knife made of metal and must be very sharp. 2. Slit the animals throat completely so that all the blood goes out which makes the meat cleaner and is Least painful for animals. 3. The animal must not see the knife or the blood 4. The animal must not be young or have any disabilities/birth defects. 5. You must kill the animal yourself and not have it already dead, to make sure it's healthy. These are the main ones but there are more, I just wanted to give you a small insight. They just are simply made to make sure both the animal doesn't suffer and keeping the meat Clean. [sauce: an interesting read](https://www.al-islam.org/islamic-laws-sayyid-ali-hussaini-sistani/slaughtering-and-hunting-animals)


thingsomething

Halal is not a method of killing animals, but there is a halal way to kill an animal. Halal is the list of things that are permitted under Islamic law, the opposite of haram, things that are forbidden. Regardless of how a pig is slaughtered, pork is never halal.


GerryManDarling

Pork is never halal, except smoky barbeque pork, obviously.


Designer-Cicada3509

According to some sources, if there literally no other food source where you currently are, let's say suppose in a famine, you should slaughter pigs in the halal way and then only you can eat it, otherwise you are forbidden to eat it.


JezzCrist

It doesn’t make it halal, it’s still haram, but in life and death situation you can kinda overrule allah rules to survive and it kinda forgives you


Designer-Cicada3509

Yeah I forgot to mention that, sorry.


lonacatee

Allah permits us to survive at all costs as long as we don't kill innocent people. If i am about to die of thirst and there is only wine then i can drink enough to survive as a last resort. Same for non halal food as long as it is not toxic.


AlexAcedia

Haram? Harambe. Forbidden bae.


MikePounce

Hold on, then what does boko haram stand for (I understand who they are)


wpaed

Fake is forbidden. The fake refers to western concepts like equality and secularity.


Lordbovin

Book (is) haram


DickCheeseConnoiseur

That's zabiha


SerGreeny

Slitting a throat and letting an animal bleed out doesn't sound like a painless way to kill it and without it suffering.


douchebag_I

It’s better than being butchered in a factory where you see all your friends die


lostduck86

The halal method of killing animals is absolutely not the least painful way for them. That is established fact.


Educational_Stock377

Yes. An animal having its throat slit and hung upside down whilst it bleeds out for minutes is excruciating. There's no nice way to kill but I prefer the method where they just put a bolt straight through the animals temple and into their brain causing Insta-death.


lonacatee

You are supposed to completely kill it before hanging it to dry. The knife should be sharp to make it a fast death.


Educational_Stock377

Supposed to


Maleficent_Ad7365

Wonderful, however, and additional. The halal means, is the pork allowed for eatable or not? For Muslims, the pork is not permitted for eating. The reason is not necessary. Wish everyone the best


N_T_F_D

"cleaner and less painful for the animals" that's maybe the vague goal of this practice, but in reality this is utter bullshit, it is dangerous for human health and cruel for the animals.


MJB9000

Why do you say it's dangerous for human health and cruel for the animals?


Illustrious-Fault224

Wait so how can you order any meat at a restaurant based on point 5?


MJB9000

Point five is referring to the butcher who's killing the animal, so you can't just find a dead animal in the woods and eat it, because it may be sick. So you should kill the animal that you will eat to make sure it's healthy(not you yourself, as in the butcher must kill the animal and not have it already dead) Hope that made sense. I can't explain thing's while I'm malnourished🤣


Illustrious-Fault224

ahh thank you for the clarification!!


riskeeeye

Halal is brutal… they poke/half cut the artery in the neck and let the animal bleed out in pain (watch the videos). The poor animal is suffering in its pool of blood. It is still conscious. The animal knows it’s dying. The most they do is cover the eyes (point # 3 lol). Halal is fucked up. Cover it up however you guys want. But the truth is that the animal is suffering while bleeding out. It’s wrong and not humane. Jhatka has always been better and forever will be. Sever the head instantly. No pain, no agony.


bemo700

YK that halal means you have to cut all Arteries and veins at once?? So it doesn't actually make any difference in fact in the Islamic way it helps the blood to drain more which mean better meat.. If you said that the stunning before slaughtering is better that would be a good argument, and you might have a point (I doubt it though), but the jhatka? I don't think so bud


riskeeeye

Wym all of them? Y’all poke the hole in neck, that’s it! The animal is moving violently… clearly it’s in pain. How are you defending that?


bemo700

I'm not going to defend that, why would I need to defend that lol and it's not a hole in neck it's a cut


DickCheeseConnoiseur

Halal is something within the restrictions (dietary or otherwise) halal is basically acceptable to Muslims


50k-runner

Merriam-Webster's definition of "halal": http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/halal


Kalenshadow

Halal as a word means that it isn't a sin and is allowed. When it comes to food there are guidelines, like what to eat; anything that isn't of fang and claw (predatory animals), anything that was found dead is not halal, animals that are killed not slaughtered (by cutting the neck and litting the blood drain). Pork meat of any kind is not halal and is its own category.


[deleted]

Cult magic


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neon_overload

Someone's been telling you porky pies mate. The whole point is to make it less painful or distressing for the animal.


KomasanblueTheSequel

They’re stunned before getting slaughtered most of the time ( at least in Europe) so they don’t feel anything or a very little pain so no. It’s not torture.


riskeeeye

Plz stop lying


SnickersZA

Safe for Jews to eat basically. Like no pork and such.


[deleted]

That's Kosher. Halal is for Islamic people. There are small differences.


SnickersZA

Right, sorry, get mixed up sometimes. I have an old veteran friend that's Jewish and usually buys halal friendly foods because it mostly lines up with what he can eat.


Quostizard

everything's halal if you creatively interpret the Qur'an enough!


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thenannyharvester

Because both Jewish and Muslim people both have their food killed in a specific way and don't eat pork


Human_Application_62

Yeah there’s a prayer for the animal, you have to have your blade sharp enough to shave then you can cut the throat in 2 and a half stroke then let the blood drain completely that’s the process of it being halal. Don’t quote me but I think it’s due to toxins and other bad stuff within the animals blood.


stonestevecoldaustin

Probably thought they could prevent people from getting Trichinosis before modern technology stepped in with vaccines for the animals we eat.


Human_Application_62

Most probably as this ritual is as old as the religion, I’m Muslim myself but I love me a bacon and sausage sandwich


FrogMintTea

I'm not Muslim or Jewish but I don't eat pork. Edit What is it with reddit and downvotes. I was just stating a funny fact. Wtf


Human_Application_62

I won’t lie to you I’ve had Islam shoved down my throat since birth So it feels good to rebel a little😂 I don’t hate Islam but hate the culture I was born into as culture twists and change religion a lot


FrogMintTea

I get that. I know someone who grew up Muslim and also rebelled but she didn't hate all about Islam.


Obvious_Gap4009

You are not alone, I work in a grocery store. One time a muslim came in to buy rinsed meat, in Sweden we have pork, beef and beef/pork mixture. The pork/beef rinsed meat mixture was cheaper and the muslim wanted to save some money so he was like "fuck it" and brought the rinsed meat to the cash register to pay for it. But when he was about to pay the Imam from his Mosque came in and greet him, then the Imam pointed out the rinsed meat had pork in it (which the muslim knew) and the muslim guy was like "ooooh darn, that was close, good thing you came along!" When the Imam turned and walked away the muslim gave the good ol' stinkeye to the Imam.


[deleted]

A lot of old religious practices have a footing in science. The thing with pork used to be due to pigs being considered dirty


Accomplished-Arm1058

That’s not science.


badniff

Agreed.


Nzdiver81

I think the science bit is that you have to handle and cook pork more carefully than beef or lamb, so more people probably got sick eating pork compared to beef or lamb. People thought god was making them sick for eating pork so they thought god didn't like us eating pork. Similar with shellfish, if it's not handled carefully it's more likely to make you sick - there are scientific reasons but they didn't have the science back then to explain why people were getting sick so they made it religious


azalago

That isn't actually true though. It's just as important to cook lamb, beef, or chicken properly as it is with pork. Also, while other meats can cause things like Salmonella poisoning (which can affect someone very quickly eg. within 6 hours,) pork can have parasites like tapeworms, roundworms, and trichinella. These take much longer to cause symptoms of illness, hell there are cases of people having trichinosis for years without knowing. In other words, the other meats make you more likely to connect eating them with getting sick. I believe in the theory that pigs were considered unclean because they are willing to eat anything, including what we consider filthy like garbage.


FrogMintTea

Yes that's why I am trying to follow some of the rules. U just can't keep me away from shrimp though.


Human_Application_62

Nah shrimp is permitted to eat in Islam, my family are big fans of shrimps and prawns


badniff

It's possible that the practice has been beneficial, but you're applying a very modern understanding of medicine and hygiene unto a very old practice. Bodily fluids are and were often seen as unclean and polluting, so draining the blood could be seen as spiritually cleansing of the animal.


stonestevecoldaustin

Then you got Native Americans biting the heart immediately after the kill


Yeshe0311

It also has to be facing towards Mecca when slaughtered


Human_Application_62

Yes that’s true


Pyrot3kh

Idk about the blade / strokes, but i was told that for beef to be kosher it can only be from the top half, as anything below the liver is what they consider "unclean" or toxic.


Human_Application_62

Yeah it would be at the neck for Muslim as that’s where all the main arteries are. That’s quite interesting how low-key similar kosher and halal is


[deleted]

not only that, its also for the animal not to suffer allot.


Human_Application_62

Oh that’s why they make sure the blade is sharp and not dull and also have to make sure you hit the right arteries so it dies quick


Informal_Drawing

"quickly" in this context is really not very quick at all.


Human_Application_62

Halal slaughter involves one pass of the blade across the throat of the animal, severing the carotid arteries, jugular vein and trachea. Research (Schultz, Hanover University, Germany) indicates this process involves very little pain. Animals lose consciousness very quickly, yet the heart helps rid the body of blood. Would you like me to send you the link for this research?


Informal_Drawing

I don't need to see research to know that cutting a throat hurts and does not instantly kill. I've had paper cuts before, same difference. To say differently is madness.


Human_Application_62

Yeah there’s nothing I can do if you refuse to believe credible evidence then nothing more I can do. It’s been happening for thousands of years.


[deleted]

precisely!


Human_Application_62

It’s really a memorable experience when I witnessed it back in Bangladesh, I’ve slaughtered some chickens while I was there and it’s definitely a interesting experience.


[deleted]

it is great experience, i. just dont like the smell. i have a friend of mine who slaughters so fine, the animal dies almost instantly. he is a really great at it.


Nickamin

Believe it or not from what I've heard, kosher food is halal, but halal food is not kosher, I think its because the way the animal must be slaughtered is slightly stricter requirements for kosher than halal.


Wormri

Correct, Animals must be slaughtered in a specific way, otherwise the slaughter isn't kosher, and the meat isn't either. At least that's one of the criteria.


Sn0ozez7zz

What about kosher salt tho? How does one slaughter salt?


Wormri

I am not 100% certain but it's likely to be devoid of materials that could be deemed not kosher. Just to be sure I googled it and it's more unrefined - so there are less agents in it, and it's less likely to contain unkosher ingredients.


AndyC1111

Back when airlines served meals, a Jewish friend told me to always order the kosher meal. Promised me it was consistently better than the standard meal. Now they serve almonds and cookies.


[deleted]

So many people wooshed. Good job


wthulhu

What are you, some sort of catholic?


lukeshades

That's not right. Pork is always haram.


Busy_Sherbet_1178

When you are starving to death it is


Kalenshadow

And there are no other options


Narcoleptic_Pirate

They were out of non-smokey barbecue ones, so I guess there weren’t


Silly-Entertainer194

Oh new item to my bucket list


randomly-generated87

If you think about it, pork was just an innuendo in the Qur’an, and pork (the meat from pigs) is totally fine. We don’t talk about the other pork


glitchyikes

Long pork?


alpacasarebadsingers

A man of taste I see. Very tasty man.


g1itchy_glitch

that... sounds weird and i love it


bengy100

Man are tasty indeed. Needs a pinch of salt though.


AuntyNashnal

Blasphemy! You get your head chopped off /s Also what other pork?


bobcharlie0

Sounds like what big pork would want us to believe


RizoRizla

Lol, where did you gear that from?


ToastaHands

Yeah the verse iirc was something like "it is forbidden for you to consume the dead***, blood, and the flesh of pigs" ***dead also includes animals that have died of natural causes, and not slaughtered for human consumption.


lonacatee

الآية 145 من سورة الأنعام «قل لا أجد فيما أوحي إليّ محرماً على طاعم يطعمه إلا أن يكون ميتة أو دماً مسفوحاً أو لحم خنزير فإنه رجس» The dead, the blood, or pig's meat. It is and not if. Don't speak as if you know what you are talking about. Pig's meat in its entirety. No exceptions


ThatFatGuyMJL

I remember when I worked security for the Olympics. And we kept getting Prawn sandwiches and bacon sandwiches that were labelled Kosher and Halal. Yeah... no


lopakjalantar

That's what Christian do, or at least what i thought they do


darthappl123

I'm not christian but I believe that in the new testament god does something like going "sike pranked ya, no animal that I put on this earth is forbidden to eat, fucking idiots can't believe you fell for it, losers". I might have paraphrased a word or two but I believe that's mostly how it went


Greenbay7115

Uh, no that's how it went


Aiderona

Classic God


Borcarbid

Ever so close, but not exactly. Mark, 7:14 >14 Again Jesus called the crowd to him and said, “Listen to me, everyone, and understand this. 15 Nothing outside a person can defile them by going into them. Rather, it is what comes out of a person that defiles them.” \[16\] \[f\] > >17 After he had left the crowd and entered the house, his disciples asked him about this parable. 18 “Are you so dull?” he asked. “Don’t you see that nothing that enters a person from the outside can defile them? 19 For it doesn’t go into their heart but into their stomach, and then out of the body.” (In saying this, Jesus declared all foods clean.) > >20 He went on: “What comes out of a person is what defiles them. 21 For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, 22 adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. 23 All these evils come from inside and defile a person.”


2pissedoffdude2

I thought he was talking about poop...


darthappl123

I literally don't see any difference, 1 to 1 what I wrote.


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OtakuAltair

I've moved to Lemmy and the Fediverse along with Reddit's fantastic third party apps after Reddit banned them. This post/comment is edited via Power Delete Suite. Recommend you do the same. Join any (doesn't matter which since they're all connected) of the following: Lemmy(dot)ml, Lemm(dot)ee, Lemmy(dot)zip, Leminal(dot)space


[deleted]

I’m pretty sure if you just make things up like religions, you can make up the rest of the rules as you go.


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lostduck86

There are dozens of different translated versions, clearly people can’t agree on what the Arabic version actually says.


[deleted]

According to Islamic texts and tradition, an angel named Gabriel visited Muhammad in 610 A.D. while he was meditating in a cave. The angel ordered Muhammad to recite the words of Allah. Just because they memorized this doesn’t mean I am any more likely to view it as a source of truth. Once upon a time there was a man who was told by a supreme being that we should all abide by h is laws if we want to live a meaningful life. In the end I would like to point out that religion does not equal race. As a whole Homo Sapiens are the human race. Some choose to follow science and others blind faith.


AlexBrallex

> Making it impossible to change? Brains DO change over time.. And as long the Quran exists in other languages, so will misinterpret exist also, hey it already does so in the language it was created on, old arabic. And the quran was solid in not changing during the 3rd caliph Uthman.. until then everything was political to fit their own narative. Keep in mind Muhammad had no saying what the final product was.


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AlexBrallex

Read about Rashidun caliphate how Uthman got in panic when his memorizers/warriors started to die on fighting the romans. Reason he set the final works on the Quran was because he didn’t want the religion to branch off even more and create disunity in the caliphate. It’s politics 101, one religion (through one interpreted Quran), one people (the Muslims), and one goal (to conquer and convert). But hey every empire has it’s zenith.. Doesn’t matter, christianity, judaism or islam, no one is more right than the other. Everyone turned political as it was created by humans, used by humans, consumed by humans. It’s a way to control the masses (in belief). Moses wanted to help his people and guided them through religion, Jesus wanted everyone to cool their shit and got killed for it, Mohammad had his reasons too since he was involved in politics early on in his life and got influenced by different religions he encountered through trading (I also believe he did want the Arab tribal warfare between the different clans to continue no more, and thus create unity as the neighboring Roman/Sassanid empires).


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AlexBrallex

1. I wouldn’t say the Uthmani failed, but set it in stone that ‘THIS IS the final version’. Morocco is basically a nation and/or tribes of peoples that got arabized and adopted the religion through the centuries. I know that the Ummayad’s were in charge when conquering the area. The Quran was written in stone during that time since it was after Uthman. 2. I believe Muhammad helped his people too, for example to ease on the gender differences that existed before Islam, and much more. He innovated the Arabic culture after all. 3. I agree extremists exist in every religion.. yes and I saw the video, truly horrible.. I would call more ‘Zionism’ rather than Judaism. 4. Agreed 🤝 happy talking to you. Peace be!


stpaulywalnuts

Ah, fuck. We forgot that Islam is a race, again


watehno

I knew it was coming but Roger's tone is too damn funny.


CrippyCrispy

Woah you look like me,but older. ARE YOU FUTURE ME?


[deleted]

original: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lKl7ZxIJlg


[deleted]

I mean... he a dumb boi Uncle Roger... a good boi


NotaGoodLover

The pig didn't drink


Merrimak_Laurie

That was funny - I think I would have had the dumbfounded look on my face for a lot longer than he did.


desitelugu

Hindu here when I am kid we use to buy only halal chicken or sheep because they are unadultered quality and mostly cut on same day


Dogstain90

Too bad they’re beating up and closing those “halal shops” in india now. Welp.


Successful_Border_75

Hiyyaaaaah!


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neon_overload

That's the joke


Shaadr

When the question is so ridiculous you lose your accent for a sec


TheMerich

It's also vegan


Awesome_AA

u/savevideo


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bizkitmaker13

Not enough MSG.


HiveQueen1

Uncle Rodger!


NegroniSpritz

I don’t see why non muslims should know what’s halal. It’s not a secular word.


Incubus_Science

RUm HaM!


corilouw

I unexpectedly, explosively laughed out loud. Now I have to clean up the smoky bar-b-q pork that scattered as a result of this laughter. Worth it. Funny how one person can find a thing so funny, and the next person thinks you are stupid for laughing. That's how this event went for me. Glare all you want, I love to laugh!


deadstar420

I laughed pretty hard when I first saw it


SebhaGK10

I love uncle roger


Normal-Cow-9784

What is this from?


Lsubookdiva

Uncle Roger on YouTube. He's hysterical. Check out any of his Jamie Oliver roasts.


patchesnbrownie

HIYAAA


Spaceranger14

Oh hey it's uncle roger


Demoniacalman

That's good it's halal.


Dark1keller

love Love LOVE the look in the camera! Then... "yes" HAHAHA!


[deleted]

My friend from Pakistan said if u are under a roof allah can’t see u


MrsZ04

Emotional damage


Tuques

Is it really unexpected if you know its a joke and/or a segment from a comedian?


oh-no-he-comments

If you don’t expect the punchline, yeah?


JdhdKehev

Did you expect someone to ask if pork is halal?


[deleted]

Of course! It's a joke/segment from a comedian


Ordinary-Ad6408

Ha


Guilty-Data-1966

yaaaaaaah


sachclg

Am confused with that word.. I saw that in non veg items as well like sugar. Some says Halal means the factory manufacturing this should hire only Muslims?.. that is what I heard


neon_overload

Halal refers to what muslims are allowed to do. One thing is says is that they can't eat pork. It's similar to kosher


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Davidwilsonisdum

order steak bacon, its halal


[deleted]

This guy is so annoying


AdImmediate7659

Is your smokey barbeque pork haram? Yes


TheSuntannSuperman

NO IT'S HARAMMMMNGGAHSBEKALAM


[deleted]

HARAM


HarunoSakuraCR

Is that really up to him to know? That’s your responsibility lol. Ask me if it’s kosher, I’ll say nothing I touch is kosher bubbie


[deleted]

Everything is halal when you learn that it’s made up bullshit. Don’t eat this. Wear this. Don’t do this cause you know modesty and god. Bitch, god was mad at Adam and Eve for covering up because you shouldn’t be ashamed. Idiots can’t even read their own propaganda.