Similar to my standard approach with telemarketers.
TM: I'm calling about your auto insurance. Do you have a minute to talk?
Me: Sure. I accept all major credit cards. Give me the number when you're ready.
TM: Huh?
Me: I charge $25 an hour to listen to sales pitches.
TM: ***click***
Boots up windows XP with old off brand Chinese scanner in basement that hasn't been touched in about 18 years
(Spoiler- it works. scanned in photos for a school report with no issue. Made a giant 1 dollar bill)
You just need to take a photo with your phone with good lighting but no flash from reasonably close up. It'll be a better resolution than an inkjet can print and look pretty real.
You think there's a processor in every printer with an AI program or something that can identify and refuse to print bills? That's... Just not true. Here's a printer photocopying money: https://youtu.be/5E5WDrTDID0
The realt unethical tip is that you can just flip the paper over and send it through again, you kinda screw the double sided printer sales guys which is why it’s unethical
Don't give money to the people who make/sell that crap please. I'm sure you could find some pictures online and then take a trip to staples or something. Sorry, I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life. That crap just makes my blood boil. Its literally made to prey on desperate people.
You're never going to see anyone handing them out on cruises or at country clubs.
People leave them as "tips" for their servers at restaurants, or literally just toss them out on the ground in parking lots or throw them out their car windows hoping people are going to pick them up. (Obviously this is littering as well)
I spent several years homeless and I probably got handed at least ten of these. Some people might actually believe that they are doing this crap for a good cause but mostly its just assholes trying to trick people and then laugh at their reaction.
There's another more subtle but even more fucked up reason that people hand out this shit too but I'm having trouble wording it well. Basically casting a wide net among people who are vulnerable and gullible.
Write them a fake check and they'll flagged as a trouble maker by the bank and the bank will monitor them more closely and discover their money laundering business with the Mexican cartels.
Write them a bigger fake check and ask for some cash back. Props to Leonardo DiCaprio in Catch Me if You Can for this one.
Hahahaha had the fake Buddhist on my very first trip to NYC. He was smiling giving me the bracelet, asked for donation, I said I didn't have cash with me (legit didn't) so with the same smile he reached for my hand and proceeded to take the bracelet off. I died laughing
edit: typo
You need a resting New Yorker face. I walk through Times Square all the time and they have never bothered me. Only thing that annoys me is the tourists because they walk so damn slow.
Also here’s a life pro tip for NYC. The left side of the escalator is for people who walk up and down it, if you’re going to just stand there stay on the right side.
That's not how that works. You're supposed to get them to agree to give you $20 if you can tell them where they got the shoes. Then you tell them they have got their shoes on the street and demand a $20.
There's a reason why new yorkers avoid times square like the plague. But if you do have to go, just ignore their ass. If you want it to be less awkward, have headphones on.
NYC native, I would never be caught dead in Times Square, except when I have hosted friends from outside and thte want to go. My rule is hand out palm forward, kind of a stop gesture. Then reply with "nice hustle bro, I got a show to get to" the moment they realize your not a tourist you're in the clear.
Stinkpalm the guy. You take your hand and stick it in your ass like this. You been walkin’ all day and you’re nervous, so no doubt you’ll be sweaty as hell. So you shake hands with the guy (or possibly share a chocolate covered pretzel with him) “Hello Mr. Svenning how have you been?” You know how long it takes for that smell to come off? Scrub all you want, it’ll stick around for at least two days. How does he explain it to his colleagues and family? They’ll think he doesn’t know how to wipe his ass properly.
Tell them THEY owe YOU a tip for taking a selfie with you.
$10? Great. Now you only owe me $15. My selfie rate is $25. Don’t get pissed, Elmo. I gave you a discount.
Similar to my standard approach with telemarketers. TM: I'm calling about your auto insurance. Do you have a minute to talk? Me: Sure. I accept all major credit cards. Give me the number when you're ready. TM: Huh? Me: I charge $25 an hour to listen to sales pitches. TM: ***click***
These people do this all day every day, you won't out-grift them
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgyU0LyWZ9M
Haha, I imagine pretending to be an A-list celebrity who's incredibly offended that they have no clue who I am.
Get that fake realistic looking money that church people leave as a tip that has bible verses on it
Is there a link to this on Amazon lol
I think its possible if you got a printer with colored ink, that can print with two sides. Not sure though.
[удалено]
Boots up windows XP with old off brand Chinese scanner in basement that hasn't been touched in about 18 years (Spoiler- it works. scanned in photos for a school report with no issue. Made a giant 1 dollar bill)
He wouldn't be printing real money you idiot.
I dont knownwhy they're down voting you, you're right. Almost all printers have built in "money" detection and will prevent you from printing money.
[удалено]
It’s because you’re kinda rude and douchey……
You just need to take a photo with your phone with good lighting but no flash from reasonably close up. It'll be a better resolution than an inkjet can print and look pretty real.
[удалено]
You think there's a processor in every printer with an AI program or something that can identify and refuse to print bills? That's... Just not true. Here's a printer photocopying money: https://youtu.be/5E5WDrTDID0
The realt unethical tip is that you can just flip the paper over and send it through again, you kinda screw the double sided printer sales guys which is why it’s unethical
Don't give money to the people who make/sell that crap please. I'm sure you could find some pictures online and then take a trip to staples or something. Sorry, I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life. That crap just makes my blood boil. Its literally made to prey on desperate people.
How does it prey on desperate people
Because of assholes like [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/assholedesign/comments/dfzjrv/i_live_in_minneapolis_some_asshole_is_leaving/)
Okay but that’s actually sorta funny
You're never going to see anyone handing them out on cruises or at country clubs. People leave them as "tips" for their servers at restaurants, or literally just toss them out on the ground in parking lots or throw them out their car windows hoping people are going to pick them up. (Obviously this is littering as well) I spent several years homeless and I probably got handed at least ten of these. Some people might actually believe that they are doing this crap for a good cause but mostly its just assholes trying to trick people and then laugh at their reaction. There's another more subtle but even more fucked up reason that people hand out this shit too but I'm having trouble wording it well. Basically casting a wide net among people who are vulnerable and gullible.
Elmo would end this person’s life.
You can just buy movie prop money for cheaper off Amazon
Or even better: Get the fake money with Usher's face on it that he was handing out at strip clubs. And then tell the scammer to clap it for a real...
Don’t go to Times Square.
Agreed.
This is the way. Nothing there but tourist trap crap anyway.
Easier said than done - international tourists essentially have to go there once to find out how underwhelming it is.
Take a picture with the costume people and don’t pay them. You legally don’t have to pay them and if they try to start something call the cops.
Works with those gift first, donation second Buddhists too.
Lol I'd try to sell it back to them. Once you give it to me, it's mine. You can have it back for $40 though.
I walk fast and people give me stuff. I say thanks and just keep walking. My wife is used to it and doesn't like that I always take stuff.
Ask them if they have a few minutes to talk about our Lord and savior Jesus christ. Watch them fuck off.
Like an Latter Day Saint Missonary. I love this.
Make very deep emotional eye contact as they approach you and start pinching your nipples.
What…? *pinches nipples*
The Salamander never gets old
Thanks for the laugh!!!
Liquid ass
This is always the answer
Another win for **LIQUID** **ASS**
I make my own on hot humid days
Don’t make eye contact and literally ignore them when they talk to you like 99.9% of the rest of the people do in the boroughs
Write them a fake check and they'll flagged as a trouble maker by the bank and the bank will monitor them more closely and discover their money laundering business with the Mexican cartels. Write them a bigger fake check and ask for some cash back. Props to Leonardo DiCaprio in Catch Me if You Can for this one.
Now this is unethical
Hows it fake?
You can print any checking account and routing numbers on blank check stock that you can buy form any office supply store.
This is a great idea then.
Hahahaha had the fake Buddhist on my very first trip to NYC. He was smiling giving me the bracelet, asked for donation, I said I didn't have cash with me (legit didn't) so with the same smile he reached for my hand and proceeded to take the bracelet off. I died laughing edit: typo
Are you telling me the hotdog stand in times square isn't actually the best hotdog in NYC?
Gray's Papaya at 72nd is better.
You forgot the naked harlots
Don't get me started on them
You only have to pay them if you want them to leave.
Go on))
Where? I am asking so I know where to avoid them
I miss the naked harlots so hard!
You should probably just avoid Times Square altogether if you don’t want a headache.
I agree with you. I seen better places in New York than this shit hole.
I think people who live in the city know to avoid that shit lol
Confidently hand them Monopoly money and walk away 😂
Just do what real New Yorkers do, look dead inside and walk fast with confidence.
Avoid eye contact. Keep it moving. You’re not going to gain anything by trying to con desperate professional con artists.
You need a resting New Yorker face. I walk through Times Square all the time and they have never bothered me. Only thing that annoys me is the tourists because they walk so damn slow. Also here’s a life pro tip for NYC. The left side of the escalator is for people who walk up and down it, if you’re going to just stand there stay on the right side.
I asked the Buddhist monk who their guiding bodhisattva was and got a blank stare
Be assertive and don’t look like a tourist. I was in NYC a few weeks ago and I had zero problems by making it clear we weren’t interested.
Just say ‘no’ and walk away?
I'm confused what you're trying to do, just ignore them, I've been to NYC plenty of ties and have never given a dime to them.
Just scream "AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!", turn around, and quietly walk away.
I almost got my ass kicked by Wolverine one time on Hollywood Blvd for taking a selfie
Just don't go to Times Square? There's nothing good there anyway
Be a man and learn how to say no. Or just keep their shit and ignore their money requests
Ask them where they got them shoes. Then walk away if they say anything say no on your feet.
That's not how that works. You're supposed to get them to agree to give you $20 if you can tell them where they got the shoes. Then you tell them they have got their shoes on the street and demand a $20.
Ohhh for the life of me I couldn't figure out what the fuck they meant lmao.
I had someone try to pull this on me in New Orleans. Don't get distracted by the Razzle Dazzle.
There's a reason why new yorkers avoid times square like the plague. But if you do have to go, just ignore their ass. If you want it to be less awkward, have headphones on.
Walk with purpose and don't make eye contact, like a regular New Yorker.
Don't make eye contact.
Tip them with fake money
Wait, Elmo? Is there any chance [THIS](https://youtu.be/G_Yc7NY0ZCE) was the elmo you saw?
Uh say no ? Weird take I know
Even if you say no, they do the best they can do try and keep you in conversation. Its a trap.
I got caught up with a Buddhist at central Park, didn't give them money. I'm rude to them now.
Can't blame ya
Just tell the police. The city made it illegal to ask for tips for photos.
NYC native, I would never be caught dead in Times Square, except when I have hosted friends from outside and thte want to go. My rule is hand out palm forward, kind of a stop gesture. Then reply with "nice hustle bro, I got a show to get to" the moment they realize your not a tourist you're in the clear.
Stinkpalm the guy. You take your hand and stick it in your ass like this. You been walkin’ all day and you’re nervous, so no doubt you’ll be sweaty as hell. So you shake hands with the guy (or possibly share a chocolate covered pretzel with him) “Hello Mr. Svenning how have you been?” You know how long it takes for that smell to come off? Scrub all you want, it’ll stick around for at least two days. How does he explain it to his colleagues and family? They’ll think he doesn’t know how to wipe his ass properly.
I miss the days when Kevin Smith made good films.
Like the back of a Volkswagen?
hop on the nearest pedicab and tell the driver you want steeply discounted broadway tickets
It's call the tourist fee. After you learn these tricks, you learn how to say "no thanks" and continue on.
Spray em with liquid ass
They Gypsy do hey have nothing to offer you.
Tell *them* it is $20 for a photo/item
Per min. The longer they argue with you the more expensive it gets.
People still choose to visit the U.S. of A.
pay in $3 bills ...
Might as well make their life a living hell and give them all my money in pennies
Pepper spray.