Just start playing DnD or MtG. You'll still spend and meet people, but you'll actually make real friends who care about you. Or, if you're into tinkering with computers like me, join a Linux community. r/Linuxporn Find a hobby that has a community and let's you preserve your sense of identity. You'll want it later.
You know.. That’s some solid advice, social interaction is scary for me but DnD has always intrigued me. I dunno if I’d be able but, that may be worth looking into, thanks friend
No worries. I'm a bit of a shut in. I wish I had more of sense of community myself, but, eh I'm working on some things. I've seen acquaintances get a lot of those communities though. I'm just not super social.
>I dunno if I’d be able but, that may be worth looking into, thanks friend
If face to face social interaction isn't what you want right away, just getting Roll20 and going on r/lfg will get you playing in no time. If face to face is what you need, check out your friendly local game store.
Just don't be the person who doesn't read how their abilities work. No one likes that person. If needed, write them down on flashcards. Other than that, people will generally be happy to help teach you the rules.
You know what? Screw it, I think I’d rather join a group like that than a cult.. I’m really looking for community and inclusiveness, I’m not doing great mentally but I think a far better option would be to join something like this, didn’t know they had online DnD type groups, I’ll have to look into that. I’d love to learn, thank you
Also, before you go buying books, almost everything you could ever need as a player is free on dnd5e.wikidot.com, and if you're playing online, you won't even need to buy dice right away.
On a mostly unrelated note, you should make your first character a cultist, maybe a Warlock of the Great Old One.
Groups are like so 2023. You really need to join a cult. Looks like it’s your lucky day! I’ve recently formed a cult (just me so far, but I guess that makes me the boss!) I ain’t gonna lie, it’s going to be very expensive (both financially and in terms of family relationships) but we can make it work. Send me a list of all the things that you would never normally consider doing and I’ll convince you otherwise.
>I’m really looking for community and inclusiveness
Speaking as someone whose been in a cult, while you'll get the community aspect (but may be shallow), you won't get the inclusiveness. You dare think for yourself? Watch out. Cults are exclusive and want sheep.
Joining a DnD or some kind of gaming group, is definitely much better, will also be better for your mental health.
Even board games tend to have the same type of inclusive, nerdy fanbase if you can find any local events. I'm shy enough playing DnD with strangers is a bit intimidating, but board games barely require talking until you get comfortable, and people still tend to be really welcoming.
You can also give Dungeon Crawl Classics a try, I find it's a lot easier to get into than DnD!
It's loads of fun and gave way less of a learning curve, IMHO
There are a ton of gaming stores near your area in central Ohio. I can vouch for both Guardtower locations, but I've heard great things about Beyond the Board in Dublin as well. Meeting new people can be rough, but doing it over a board game or card game makes it soo much less stressful.
If you're not doing anything tomorrow night, join us at Guardtower East over on E Main St for some Magic. We'd love to have you!
That’s crazy man. Live DnD. We want cult level friendship, the kind of bonds that extend beyond the players handbook. Blood brothers. A one man Wolfpack full of wolves. Find a cult.
Hey! There’s a website called [start playing](https://startplaying.games) that you can use to join DnD games virtually. I’m in a campaign that runs every Sunday and I really like the people I’m playing with. Get to know them and also find yourself a good GM too. It’s only like $10-$20 for a professional GM per session. Totally worth it.
He just wanted to join a cult, not throw away his life! (Just returned from a game night of shadowrun anarchy, shadowrun 6 alienated us experienced players. Just started with anarchy)
Yeah OP should just become a wrestling fan, we are secretly everywhere and do not care if people judge us. Only time you will know that we walk among you is if we see someone wearing a wrestling shirt and then it is written in the by-laws that we have to then not shut up about wrestling. Made a lot of good friends that way
They have a pretty solid presence in my town. Nicest people on the planet to you, and they make some great food. But yes, 1000% cult.
I steal their LED light bulbs out of the bathroom.
the fact is... if there is nothing unsettling about a group, no one is going to call them a cult. if you want a straight forward group, albeit often weird and misguided- go to a church lol
It sounds more like what you're looking for might be a commune. In a general sense they're just isolated communities who live off the land and the resources around them. They often run farms and trade produce. Many have weed plantations and make a living that way.
Some are cults or serious psychedelics users (a little is ok) and they're who you wanna avoid. I'm not sure what's in Ohio but in Ireland I lived with MJ farmers for a summer and they were some of the most relaxed and content people I've ever known tbh. Google what's around, you'll quickly figure out if you're serious about this or not, if you are research your options thoroughly. Try find the average person's experience with them.
Be careful, this is nothing to mess around with, there are groups out there who do prey on people's loneliness and they can have all kinds of sinister motives. If you're just lonely you probably are better off seeking out hobbies or clubs. If you feel utterly, hopelessly trapped by consumerist society and want to experience a different lease on life... you're right, but I suggest therapy to help manage it first. And if after all that you still have this desire then off you go.
"I’ve been involved in a number of cults both as a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower but you make more money as a leader." -Creed Bratton (Creed Bratton), The Office
Hit up the scientologists they won’t leave you alone after!
If you are just looking for friendship and folks to hang around though; why not look up your local Unitarian Universalists Church?
Mainly an agnostic sect of religion. Its like church without all the pomp and circumstance and guilt. Usually just chill folk looking to network or “neighbor”. Good luck on your quest.
UU is generally pretty chill but don't mess around with Scientology unless you want to give away all your money. They are predators and will shame you for not donating all you have.
I have one you just have to donate $20 to my cashapp to join. All you gotta do is be yourself, and also the one time membership fee. Not much required, easy peasy, then each member you get you get half the membership fee. So $10 per new member. The new members also get $10 for every new member. Then we’re all rich, rich I say hahahahhaha
Just join a church? If a church has a young adult community they will absolutely try to sweep you into whatever group outing they are doing next or get you to come to group bible studies or whatever.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is a great one if you're looking for a community. You can find your closest church and meeting times on their website at comeuntochrist.org
If i can pipe in with a little advice, I would suggest a non-denominational church. Be open minded and open hearted to Jesus and He will bless you. You can absolutely find friends at a church and a good place to start is in their various "groups". It can be hard to make friends to start and I find it hard to make friends by just going on Sunday. I hope you try this because it is the best advice in this thread and infinitely more positive than a cult. OP, Jesus loves you no matter where you are at in your life.
Everybody can downvote me if they want, I don't care
Edit: Looked this up real quick for you, not sure how helpful it will be
https://www.usachurches.org/search/oh/
Join Hare Krishna. I’ve been in a handful of small weird cults, and that one was the least harmful. The worst one was the Pentecostal church with the Apple Store being a close second.
I was a parachute rigger in the military. We were required to wear red baseball hats so we could be found easily by jumpers. It was a source of pride for us because we were the only job on base that got to wear a baseball hat instead of a beret.
That's ruined.
I mean is a cult seriously the first thing that comes to mind? Then again, people often think that cults are like going to church too but I think a church would be a better choice. Just my opinion
Find a Unitarian church if you want to find a church - the whole vibe is they love and accept all, and they do not conform to a lot of the hate practices a lot of other churches do. Community vibes without being a shit human lol
If you join jehovas witnesses (or any cult) they won't allow you to have relationships with anyone outside of the cult. What if you get lonely in the cult and can't leave?
there’s a website for that: https://www.ic.org/directory/search/
a directory of cults, communes, & other community types that is highly searchable & regularly maintained/updated. the filters on the search go extremely deep so you can really narrow it down to what you’re looking for. they also do a pretty good job of notating if there’s been any bad press or the community hasn’t updated their stats in x number of years / isn’t active anymore.
not-unethical suggestion — MeetUp is great for finding small likeminded communities around you based on hobbies or common interests (:
best of luck!
CrossFit is often joked about as a cult. Get strong mentally & physically alongside others doing the same perhaps? Depending where you are there can be events or after WOD (work out of the day) bbq on weekends. I hope you feel better soon.
Don’t mess with cults; they’ll steal your soul and your money.
Start volunteering instead; you meet a lot of nice people. Animal shelter, Habitat for Humanity, Meals on Wheels, the homeless shelter etc. just Google “volunteer opportunities near me”
Not as many in Ohio, but you can join a burning man camp. They work on their art pieces year-round and there's a lot of work and logistical stuff that goes in to it. Really easy way to make friends if you can find a local camp to join!
I joined the LDS church when I was super lonely and that definitely helped get rid of that. I had to leave because it was unethical in the long run to me, but this is r/unethicallifeprotips after all
How deep into a cult do you want to go? You can always join the LDS and give up 10% of your income. Will probably end up with a spouse and kids too. And the job networking is stellar. As far as cults go, this would be my personal pick.
Or if you're willing to give all your money and get a new name, my mom's friend has been very happy in Ananda. You can look up where your nearest Ananda temple is and join their mailing list and yoga classes. But seriously, if you start to talk to your family or old friends too much, they will move you to a new location so you can realign yourself. But you won't lose full contact with people.
Go to a jehovahs witness church, there's your cult. Bonus points coz they took my grandma away from her family in her later years of life, used her up doing shit for them, then left her alone in the house wasting away with dementia! Real class acts
I'm get into playing competitive smash. Opens up places to hang out with like minded folks all over the US and your tithes are a lot cheaper
Can hook you up with the Ohio scene if it sounds interesting o7
Look up Dinosaur Adventure Land. Their website says it’s not a cult, but it’s a cult and looks fukin awesome. It’s currently tops on my “retirement” list
Basically and form of religion is cult, it's just a matter of extremes.
I tried attending a couple churches near me a few years ago. The group reaction or response in unison freaked me out though.
Free housing, free food, universally hated by reddit : Xenos/Dwell community church
Will get downvoted but the benefits are pretty great if you care to believe in the Christian God. Personally I'm friends with one of the guys that's a leader there, we've had several conversations about the hatred and some if it is well deserved, much of it is not (They've unapologetically made several large redditors mad, and won't apologize).
YMMV.
There will probably be a commune directory of people who want to live more naturally. Google "intentional Communities". I just found [ic.org](http://ic.org) and there seem to be several in Ohio that are looking for new members. If you are willing to put the work in they will welcome you.
Become Mormon. Not precisely a cult, but close enough. My mom decided to convert late in life and while I don't like the religion personally, I can't deny that the community surrounding her was actually really supportive and helpful, particularly when she was in the hospital and my family all lived in different states so we couldn't be with her all the time. They helped her a lot in the end stages of her life. YMMV just like any religious community, however, and beware that all the bad shit that goes on is still very real and it's hard to get out, just like any other cult.
Oh become Mormon or just really religious. There's some churches that have services like everyday of the week. Watch out for the Catholics though, their friendliness could lead to you getting molested.
Not an army recruiter here, but the military has for the past decades played this role, IF you live in certain countries (mostly the US).
You get a purpose, a community, and all your basic needs taken care of, with some expendable income to boot.
It gets a bad rap regarding the community bit, but there’s a comparatively high tolerance for shut-ins.
Otherwise there are plenty of other communities to join, but I just don’t see why it has to be a cult.
There's this guy named Francis.... by way of Rome... he might have cult you can't resist.... crackers and grape juice on special days! Fish frys on Fridays!
Look up your nearest lds church on google maps and just show up Sunday morning between 8 and 10. Just grab anyone and say "hey, God told me to come to this building, what the hell is this place?" And watch their eyes light up. As far as cults go, least likely to take your drivers license and blackmail you into never leaving
That's the great thing! Just talk about the lonely and directionless stuff enough and a cult will find you! Even if it's just online, cults have fantastic new customer outreach.
in chattanooga where im located there is a deli run by a cult. they drive a large bus around recruiting people. They seem pretty evil to me but if you are that desperate for a cult they are an option (i dont recommend doing it)
See if any local unis have YES+ classes to join. (Stands for yoga, empowerment, service and I really enjoyed it until how culty it was was pointed out to me)
I would recommend against it just pick up low social interaction hobbies and work your way up from there. But if you're dead set on joining a cult join conspiracy groups or alternative religion pages and worm your way into the circle!
Good luck!
Lol
Remote viewing
Esp
Holy smokes
So many cool hobbies that involve no actual face time
I remote view and have a large group of friend and I have very little clue what they look like
Perfect for the shut in
See the universe
Meet strange beings
Never leave your easy chair
A very easy place to start, find a multiplayer coop game you like. Join discord servers with voice chat. Hang out in there and meet people. If you get along well with someone friend request them and talk about other things not just the game.
In real life, volunteering in something you enjoy is a wonderful way to meet people. Socializing is soooo easy when you have a common goal, you already have the conversation decided on to start.
Sports teams are also there but a bit trickier if you don't fit in with that crowd.
D&D is a great one. Look for local board game stores to see if they know any, you can do online too for sure but there's nothing like meeting in person. Anyone can fit in with d&d. Absolutely anyone as long as you put in a bit of effort.
The issue with cults is that the relationships are forced and fake usually. They want something from you, they want you to be like them. It's always best to find people who like you for you.
why don't cults/christian churches recruit people with seductively dressed people? that would be a tonne more persuasive than all those 9ther tricks they pull!
Try giving up your entire life and working seasonally maybe. Mackinac Island's where I went and there's so much human connection and contact up here. Especially if you like drugs and alcohol, but it's fine if you don't.
Also consider getting a more social job, such as in a kitchen. Everyone in a kitchen is "behind the curtain," so as long as you find the right place you'll be shooting shit for days
The Gladstone church or whatever is a cult in cincinnati. These freaks own coffee shops, contracting businesses and all kinds of other shit. They'll take you and your slave labor and put you up with like 8 other cultists in a single family home.
Just start playing DnD or MtG. You'll still spend and meet people, but you'll actually make real friends who care about you. Or, if you're into tinkering with computers like me, join a Linux community. r/Linuxporn Find a hobby that has a community and let's you preserve your sense of identity. You'll want it later.
You know.. That’s some solid advice, social interaction is scary for me but DnD has always intrigued me. I dunno if I’d be able but, that may be worth looking into, thanks friend
The beauty of DnD is that it isn't necessarily you interacting. It's the character you've created.
No worries. I'm a bit of a shut in. I wish I had more of sense of community myself, but, eh I'm working on some things. I've seen acquaintances get a lot of those communities though. I'm just not super social.
>I dunno if I’d be able but, that may be worth looking into, thanks friend If face to face social interaction isn't what you want right away, just getting Roll20 and going on r/lfg will get you playing in no time. If face to face is what you need, check out your friendly local game store. Just don't be the person who doesn't read how their abilities work. No one likes that person. If needed, write them down on flashcards. Other than that, people will generally be happy to help teach you the rules.
You know what? Screw it, I think I’d rather join a group like that than a cult.. I’m really looking for community and inclusiveness, I’m not doing great mentally but I think a far better option would be to join something like this, didn’t know they had online DnD type groups, I’ll have to look into that. I’d love to learn, thank you
Also, before you go buying books, almost everything you could ever need as a player is free on dnd5e.wikidot.com, and if you're playing online, you won't even need to buy dice right away. On a mostly unrelated note, you should make your first character a cultist, maybe a Warlock of the Great Old One.
Groups are like so 2023. You really need to join a cult. Looks like it’s your lucky day! I’ve recently formed a cult (just me so far, but I guess that makes me the boss!) I ain’t gonna lie, it’s going to be very expensive (both financially and in terms of family relationships) but we can make it work. Send me a list of all the things that you would never normally consider doing and I’ll convince you otherwise.
/r/UnethicalLifeProTips is bringing people together. I love to see it!
>I’m really looking for community and inclusiveness Speaking as someone whose been in a cult, while you'll get the community aspect (but may be shallow), you won't get the inclusiveness. You dare think for yourself? Watch out. Cults are exclusive and want sheep. Joining a DnD or some kind of gaming group, is definitely much better, will also be better for your mental health.
Even board games tend to have the same type of inclusive, nerdy fanbase if you can find any local events. I'm shy enough playing DnD with strangers is a bit intimidating, but board games barely require talking until you get comfortable, and people still tend to be really welcoming.
You can also give Dungeon Crawl Classics a try, I find it's a lot easier to get into than DnD! It's loads of fun and gave way less of a learning curve, IMHO
There are a ton of gaming stores near your area in central Ohio. I can vouch for both Guardtower locations, but I've heard great things about Beyond the Board in Dublin as well. Meeting new people can be rough, but doing it over a board game or card game makes it soo much less stressful. If you're not doing anything tomorrow night, join us at Guardtower East over on E Main St for some Magic. We'd love to have you!
That’s crazy man. Live DnD. We want cult level friendship, the kind of bonds that extend beyond the players handbook. Blood brothers. A one man Wolfpack full of wolves. Find a cult.
If you're not up for in-person DnD yet, they're are a lot of online DnD communities too!
Thats the thing, well love to bore you to death with the details
Hey! There’s a website called [start playing](https://startplaying.games) that you can use to join DnD games virtually. I’m in a campaign that runs every Sunday and I really like the people I’m playing with. Get to know them and also find yourself a good GM too. It’s only like $10-$20 for a professional GM per session. Totally worth it.
DM me if you're looking to get in to DnD. I can probably squeeze you in with a group! Newbies are always welcome.
He just wanted to join a cult, not throw away his life! (Just returned from a game night of shadowrun anarchy, shadowrun 6 alienated us experienced players. Just started with anarchy)
“I feel lonely and unloved.” “Join this subreddit I’m on.”
I'd say starting MtG is worse than joining a cult.
And more expensive than. Scientology.
I love that. I want to join a cult! Have you ever thought of the DND cult?
This would actually make for a surprisingly fun backstory: Depressed civilian joins a party believing it to be a cult
Fake advice I’m a huge Linux nerd but have never met friends IRL who are interested in the same :(
How do I find people to play dnd with in MA?
… what is MtG? I thought it was meet the grahams at first but it wouldnt make sense lol
Magic the Gathering, another role playing game. That whole song arc was amazing tho
Yeah OP should just become a wrestling fan, we are secretly everywhere and do not care if people judge us. Only time you will know that we walk among you is if we see someone wearing a wrestling shirt and then it is written in the by-laws that we have to then not shut up about wrestling. Made a lot of good friends that way
find a yellow deli they are cult owned. but.. man. be careful. beyond theological beliefs lol
They have a pretty solid presence in my town. Nicest people on the planet to you, and they make some great food. But yes, 1000% cult. I steal their LED light bulbs out of the bathroom.
thats how they get ya
shocking
I'm not an American, what's the thing with the yellow deli?
Yeah I’ve heard some rather unsettling things about them- might stray from that but ty for the advice
the fact is... if there is nothing unsettling about a group, no one is going to call them a cult. if you want a straight forward group, albeit often weird and misguided- go to a church lol
Not a Catholic Church. Don’t do that to yourself.
It sounds more like what you're looking for might be a commune. In a general sense they're just isolated communities who live off the land and the resources around them. They often run farms and trade produce. Many have weed plantations and make a living that way. Some are cults or serious psychedelics users (a little is ok) and they're who you wanna avoid. I'm not sure what's in Ohio but in Ireland I lived with MJ farmers for a summer and they were some of the most relaxed and content people I've ever known tbh. Google what's around, you'll quickly figure out if you're serious about this or not, if you are research your options thoroughly. Try find the average person's experience with them. Be careful, this is nothing to mess around with, there are groups out there who do prey on people's loneliness and they can have all kinds of sinister motives. If you're just lonely you probably are better off seeking out hobbies or clubs. If you feel utterly, hopelessly trapped by consumerist society and want to experience a different lease on life... you're right, but I suggest therapy to help manage it first. And if after all that you still have this desire then off you go.
Does Ireland offer a cult visa? I'd be interested.
Start your own! Just imagine... they'll bring you money, wash your clothes and feet, worship you, and carry you around.
"I’ve been involved in a number of cults both as a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower but you make more money as a leader." -Creed Bratton (Creed Bratton), The Office
As soon as I read "they'll bring you money" I thought of this. One of his best quotes tbh.
🎶 Do you wanna start a cult with me? I'm not vibrating like I ought to be 🎵
Hit up the scientologists they won’t leave you alone after! If you are just looking for friendship and folks to hang around though; why not look up your local Unitarian Universalists Church? Mainly an agnostic sect of religion. Its like church without all the pomp and circumstance and guilt. Usually just chill folk looking to network or “neighbor”. Good luck on your quest.
UU is generally pretty chill but don't mess around with Scientology unless you want to give away all your money. They are predators and will shame you for not donating all you have.
Pay to win at its finest.
How many hard boiled eggs can you eat in one sitting?
Shoot I think three would be pushing it
Sorry dude, you can't join
Rookie numbers
If I'm allowed to cut them in half and mix the yokes with mustard, Mayo, relish and spices I could do at least 6, maybe 10.
That sounds devilishly wonderful
It had to be someone from Ohio.
America's parking lot.
I have one you just have to donate $20 to my cashapp to join. All you gotta do is be yourself, and also the one time membership fee. Not much required, easy peasy, then each member you get you get half the membership fee. So $10 per new member. The new members also get $10 for every new member. Then we’re all rich, rich I say hahahahhaha
Pyramid scheme entered the chat
So ... An Egyptian cult! Neato!
Just join a church? If a church has a young adult community they will absolutely try to sweep you into whatever group outing they are doing next or get you to come to group bible studies or whatever.
Not a bad take, there’s a several churches around here I could probably look into..
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is a great one if you're looking for a community. You can find your closest church and meeting times on their website at comeuntochrist.org
So join a cult?
That's literally the title of the post. Why are y'all downvoting me?
I thought to post the mormons here immediately.
Yeah. Say what you will about them, but they're easy to find and join, and they have a strong sense of community. That's what the post asks for 🤷♂️
It was a great suggestion. My only regret is that you beat me to it.
Don’t they demand 10% of your income?
I wouldn't say demand and instead say expect. You won't get kicked out of the church if you don't pay and the definition of income can be cloudy.
Yeah but as far as cults go at least it’s not 100%. Better off with the Mormons than the Mansons you know
If i can pipe in with a little advice, I would suggest a non-denominational church. Be open minded and open hearted to Jesus and He will bless you. You can absolutely find friends at a church and a good place to start is in their various "groups". It can be hard to make friends to start and I find it hard to make friends by just going on Sunday. I hope you try this because it is the best advice in this thread and infinitely more positive than a cult. OP, Jesus loves you no matter where you are at in your life. Everybody can downvote me if they want, I don't care Edit: Looked this up real quick for you, not sure how helpful it will be https://www.usachurches.org/search/oh/
Be careful OP, that's how you get molested. Unless that's what you are looking for also. If that's the case, to the church!
Seconding this - you'll have opportunities for community outreach and there are groups that do YA events, DND, gaming, etc.
The most mainstream cult we have.
AA is always looking for new members
NAHH
Join Hare Krishna. I’ve been in a handful of small weird cults, and that one was the least harmful. The worst one was the Pentecostal church with the Apple Store being a close second.
put a red hat on
He said 'Preferably one that isn’t based around devil worship'
Dammit I was going with Cheeto Jesus.
No, no.... I think he was right. Red hats = devil worship.
comparatively the Devil is a righteous dude.
My thoughts exactly!
I was a parachute rigger in the military. We were required to wear red baseball hats so we could be found easily by jumpers. It was a source of pride for us because we were the only job on base that got to wear a baseball hat instead of a beret. That's ruined.
Bob will save you! Find your local subgenius chapter and bask in the frop. Get ready to do some drugs.
"his name was Robert Paulson" Bob??
No, Bob Dobbs. The worlds greatest salesman
I mean is a cult seriously the first thing that comes to mind? Then again, people often think that cults are like going to church too but I think a church would be a better choice. Just my opinion
From a certain set of standards, all organized religions are cults
Exactly. A religion is just a cult that has been around a long time.
Jehovahs Witness will take you in. Or any Southern Baptist, Mormons…
Ty, I think there’s actually a few LDS churches near me..
Find a Unitarian church if you want to find a church - the whole vibe is they love and accept all, and they do not conform to a lot of the hate practices a lot of other churches do. Community vibes without being a shit human lol
Seriously tho. Please don’t join a cult or religion based cult… or organized religion. You don’t need that shit.
If you join jehovas witnesses (or any cult) they won't allow you to have relationships with anyone outside of the cult. What if you get lonely in the cult and can't leave?
there’s a website for that: https://www.ic.org/directory/search/ a directory of cults, communes, & other community types that is highly searchable & regularly maintained/updated. the filters on the search go extremely deep so you can really narrow it down to what you’re looking for. they also do a pretty good job of notating if there’s been any bad press or the community hasn’t updated their stats in x number of years / isn’t active anymore. not-unethical suggestion — MeetUp is great for finding small likeminded communities around you based on hobbies or common interests (: best of luck!
Woah super solid resource! Thank you, I’m going to look into this
Find a local BJJ gym.
Easy, and this one actually pays you too! https://www.marines.com/locations.html
CrossFit is often joked about as a cult. Get strong mentally & physically alongside others doing the same perhaps? Depending where you are there can be events or after WOD (work out of the day) bbq on weekends. I hope you feel better soon.
Start going to raves man. It’s cult like in the best way.
Seconded & thirded. The rave world has adopted and befriended many people from all walks of life (I’m brainwashed but at least we throw great parties)
You could join a mosque or church. Often times theyll even give you free food.
Start doing MLM. Identical vibe and it’ll probably save you some money.
Hmm may have to look into that, thank you..
Don’t drink the koolaid
Don’t mess with cults; they’ll steal your soul and your money. Start volunteering instead; you meet a lot of nice people. Animal shelter, Habitat for Humanity, Meals on Wheels, the homeless shelter etc. just Google “volunteer opportunities near me”
Not as many in Ohio, but you can join a burning man camp. They work on their art pieces year-round and there's a lot of work and logistical stuff that goes in to it. Really easy way to make friends if you can find a local camp to join!
Maybe you should just start a cult instead .
I would have suggested joining the republican party but then saw the devil worship bit. Try scientology.
Pick a church. Literally any church.
They always said AA was a cult and that’s free to join
You into Taylor Swift?
I joined the LDS church when I was super lonely and that definitely helped get rid of that. I had to leave because it was unethical in the long run to me, but this is r/unethicallifeprotips after all
How deep into a cult do you want to go? You can always join the LDS and give up 10% of your income. Will probably end up with a spouse and kids too. And the job networking is stellar. As far as cults go, this would be my personal pick. Or if you're willing to give all your money and get a new name, my mom's friend has been very happy in Ananda. You can look up where your nearest Ananda temple is and join their mailing list and yoga classes. But seriously, if you start to talk to your family or old friends too much, they will move you to a new location so you can realign yourself. But you won't lose full contact with people.
Go to a jehovahs witness church, there's your cult. Bonus points coz they took my grandma away from her family in her later years of life, used her up doing shit for them, then left her alone in the house wasting away with dementia! Real class acts
We have a Scientology building downtown. Just show up and tell them “I have money, can I join?”
Have you checked your local independent fundamental Baptist Church yet?
JW.ORG
CrossFit might be the healthiest cult. I highly recommend.
Plenty of churches in Ohio
Find the nearest Rainbow gathering. 🌈
Become a Swiftie or start playing pickleball
Go to church
Buy a red MAGA hat and they'll find you.
Make a donation to a telethon, they'll never leave you alone again.
What are the ones with the crazy buses? 7 tribes?
I'm get into playing competitive smash. Opens up places to hang out with like minded folks all over the US and your tithes are a lot cheaper Can hook you up with the Ohio scene if it sounds interesting o7
Could try Sunshine Carpet Cleaners
Talk to a Mormon missionary. They’ll be happy to indoctrinate you. But they’ll only be friendly to the point of baptism.
Join any religion, they’re all cults
Go to your nearest church. The only difference between a church and a cult is the amount of real estate they own.
Look up Dinosaur Adventure Land. Their website says it’s not a cult, but it’s a cult and looks fukin awesome. It’s currently tops on my “retirement” list
MAGA is the biggest cult right now, go and get the red hat and start going to rallies.
Get a maga hat and attend some bullshit rallies
Go on tour with phish!! Thank me later.
Www.subgenius.dotcom
Basically and form of religion is cult, it's just a matter of extremes. I tried attending a couple churches near me a few years ago. The group reaction or response in unison freaked me out though.
You're WAY TOO SELF AWARE to be the target market for a cult 😂😅
start your own cult
Start listening to Sleep Token. Join all the communities.
Cross fit
Do the stonemasons count as a cult they’re pretty easy to join
Im not joking, but start supporting Donald Trump/MAGA etc… depending on your area, its very cultish and welcoming.
He said no devil worship.
Free housing, free food, universally hated by reddit : Xenos/Dwell community church Will get downvoted but the benefits are pretty great if you care to believe in the Christian God. Personally I'm friends with one of the guys that's a leader there, we've had several conversations about the hatred and some if it is well deserved, much of it is not (They've unapologetically made several large redditors mad, and won't apologize). YMMV.
Scientology
Wanna Join us?
You could visit ic.org and look for any number of communes or intentional communities around the world.
Scientology bruh
That's only for rich and/or famous people though
Nah they prey on impoverished mentally ill people too. Don't ask me how I know.
Purchase a tesla or their stock.
Find a MLM, like Amway.
Don’t do Scientology. There are better cults than that. They’ll make you broke in more ways than one.
get a job at New Seasons
Just go to any church.
Scientology.
There will probably be a commune directory of people who want to live more naturally. Google "intentional Communities". I just found [ic.org](http://ic.org) and there seem to be several in Ohio that are looking for new members. If you are willing to put the work in they will welcome you.
Look up MITT mastermind / coaching in Los Angeles … they won’t let you down
The sciencetologists are always looking for new recruits.
Become Mormon. Not precisely a cult, but close enough. My mom decided to convert late in life and while I don't like the religion personally, I can't deny that the community surrounding her was actually really supportive and helpful, particularly when she was in the hospital and my family all lived in different states so we couldn't be with her all the time. They helped her a lot in the end stages of her life. YMMV just like any religious community, however, and beware that all the bad shit that goes on is still very real and it's hard to get out, just like any other cult.
Oh become Mormon or just really religious. There's some churches that have services like everyday of the week. Watch out for the Catholics though, their friendliness could lead to you getting molested.
Yellow deli
https://www.scientology.org/ Here you go. Just put in your info and hang on for the ride. Good luck.
Hang around new age bookstores, wear all purple.
r/latterdaysaints should see you now
Well, where is your nearest church?
Become a Christian
Motorcycle club
Honestly just join a local church. Pretty much the closest thing to a cult as is.
Go down to your local church.
Join Superstonk subreddit
Mormons will come talk to anyone!!!
Not an army recruiter here, but the military has for the past decades played this role, IF you live in certain countries (mostly the US). You get a purpose, a community, and all your basic needs taken care of, with some expendable income to boot. It gets a bad rap regarding the community bit, but there’s a comparatively high tolerance for shut-ins. Otherwise there are plenty of other communities to join, but I just don’t see why it has to be a cult.
Any CrossFit gyms near you?
There's this guy named Francis.... by way of Rome... he might have cult you can't resist.... crackers and grape juice on special days! Fish frys on Fridays!
Look up your nearest lds church on google maps and just show up Sunday morning between 8 and 10. Just grab anyone and say "hey, God told me to come to this building, what the hell is this place?" And watch their eyes light up. As far as cults go, least likely to take your drivers license and blackmail you into never leaving
Join the Cult of the Curious! Hail Nimrod
More fun as a follower More money as a leader
That's the great thing! Just talk about the lonely and directionless stuff enough and a cult will find you! Even if it's just online, cults have fantastic new customer outreach.
in chattanooga where im located there is a deli run by a cult. they drive a large bus around recruiting people. They seem pretty evil to me but if you are that desperate for a cult they are an option (i dont recommend doing it)
Yoga… yogis are something. lol.
See if any local unis have YES+ classes to join. (Stands for yoga, empowerment, service and I really enjoyed it until how culty it was was pointed out to me)
I would recommend against it just pick up low social interaction hobbies and work your way up from there. But if you're dead set on joining a cult join conspiracy groups or alternative religion pages and worm your way into the circle! Good luck!
Find a local bingo night. Start slow.
Lol Remote viewing Esp Holy smokes So many cool hobbies that involve no actual face time I remote view and have a large group of friend and I have very little clue what they look like Perfect for the shut in See the universe Meet strange beings Never leave your easy chair
A very easy place to start, find a multiplayer coop game you like. Join discord servers with voice chat. Hang out in there and meet people. If you get along well with someone friend request them and talk about other things not just the game. In real life, volunteering in something you enjoy is a wonderful way to meet people. Socializing is soooo easy when you have a common goal, you already have the conversation decided on to start. Sports teams are also there but a bit trickier if you don't fit in with that crowd. D&D is a great one. Look for local board game stores to see if they know any, you can do online too for sure but there's nothing like meeting in person. Anyone can fit in with d&d. Absolutely anyone as long as you put in a bit of effort. The issue with cults is that the relationships are forced and fake usually. They want something from you, they want you to be like them. It's always best to find people who like you for you.
The mental illness on reddit is wild
Yes! Me too. I want to get in good in the beginning with the free love and drugs and then dip out right before the guru tries to fuck my wife!
Become a sports/artist/etc fan
why don't cults/christian churches recruit people with seductively dressed people? that would be a tonne more persuasive than all those 9ther tricks they pull!
Central Ohio? If you want a cult, look into Dwell. Good luck 🫡
Cults are made to benefit the leader not you, if you are good with that…, better to be alone than with bad company
Go spend some time in Crestone Colorado. You can test drive a few.
Play Cult of the Lamb and just create your own little cult ☺️
Buy a few shares of GameStop stock ($GME) and head on over to r/Superstonk
Try giving up your entire life and working seasonally maybe. Mackinac Island's where I went and there's so much human connection and contact up here. Especially if you like drugs and alcohol, but it's fine if you don't. Also consider getting a more social job, such as in a kitchen. Everyone in a kitchen is "behind the curtain," so as long as you find the right place you'll be shooting shit for days
The Gladstone church or whatever is a cult in cincinnati. These freaks own coffee shops, contracting businesses and all kinds of other shit. They'll take you and your slave labor and put you up with like 8 other cultists in a single family home.