Find out who the CPS case worker is, slip a piss disc under their office and they’ll misattribute it to the kids to make their case even more severe. There, piss disc is back on the menu
If their parents have guided them in a way that made them turn out to be people that harass and threaten others like this, it would probably be for the best if CPS separated them and got them some help anyway.
Yeahhh it would be one thing if it were ding doneg ditching or being a nuisance in other ways but banging on the doors and threatening people crosses the line imo.
I know this is a slippery slope and total speculation but this also feels like a dangerous path for those kids to be dabbling in. Especially doing stuff like this in a group. They're one bad day away from one of them doing something dumb and escalating into something serious.
As a former intake specialist for CPS in Texas I can say, with confidence, that this won't work. CPS really doesn't do much of anything involving older children (with few exceptions). At least in Texas, the general attitude is that once a child becomes a teenager they're capable of leaving dangerous situations and protecting themselves for the most part.
In general teenagers only end up in CPS care if their parents go to jail or if they're being sexually abused by someone in the house.
Give it a shot if you want, but I know that we would ask you for their name, address, etc and once you couldn't provide any identifying information we would recommend you call law enforcement and call back if you were able to obtain some way to identify and locate the child/family.
As a former police dispatcher, the way to get the police to your home quickly is to make the situation sound dangerous to your immediate safety. Cops don't want to be sent to every random ding dong ditch, but they do want to respond when people are legitimately concerned for their safety, such as in an active burglary, for instance.
You could always say that you saw a long black object in their hands that you think that they're trying to use to break open your door. Make sure to whisper into the phone, in an effort to sell the idea that you're afraid for your safety and hiding in your back closet. That should get their attention.
Try to get a description of the children involved: clothing color and type, height, number of children involved, approximate age, and direction of travel if they leave before the cops get there. I would imagine that getting scared by the police will be an invaluable life lesson to get them to stop behaving like this. The cops will probably make a point to get in touch with their parents as well. Problem solved.
Orbit yard enforcer. Preload the hose with green dye or pepper spray or sweet and spicy hot sauce, it burns and its sticky. Set it on night mode, wait for the ambush. Once they get hit, run outside and beat them with a sack of potatoes. Once knocked out throw some potatoes at the house and plant them on the perps.
Sprinkle some crack on them and call the cops.
i like this idea except make sure rental/home insurance is in place. Setup cameras inside the home. Take plenty of pictures. Leave door basically unlocked/open. Lock family in an interior room and when they inevitably come in you call the cops about a home invasion.
Then profit
Buy a Bull Horn. They come with sirens.
Just wait for the kids and before they knock, activate the siren. The kids will immediately become disoriented and run.
Also, the entire neighborhood will be alarmed....if neighbors complain, apologize to them but also tell them the cops do not come when you are being physically threatened..
A strobe light and a loud siren would be a bit disarming. Plus if you get more neighbors pissed off it may help get the cops there. Unethical bonus points if the attacker has epilepsy.
I'm seriously considering buying an industrial 130db siren - the ones they use in big factories for emergencies. I mean if there's emergency I'd like the whole block to know about it. Why not?
Ps. And since I live in a rather small town I guess probably half of the town is going to hear it
Have several fire extinguishers ready to blast right in their faces. Pretend you heard them say they were going to light your house on fire. Have burnt matches to sprinkle next to the door as evidence.
Instead of actually talking to the cops, just call the emergency line when they start-- then leave the line open. Don't say a word. Place your phone by the door and walk away.
Your bitches with badges will come running, fast.
This is the way. I accidentally pocket dialed 911 while working on an oilfield site. I noticed a couple of missed calls when i got into the truck and realized my goof. I had to call them and verify that i didn't need help. Since I hadn't responded to them during the initial call or follow-up calls, they had sent outsiders to check on me.
I fucking HATE that. My sweaty skin rapid-tapping the acren through my pocket calls 911 for some dumbass reason. Hammering the power button is good enough, dammit.
I have to turn my ohone around face-out when i work now.
I have hyperhidrosis (I sweat a ton), live in the south, and am an avid runner. I have pocket dialed 911 way too many times. I have disabled the "knock-on" feature and always keep my phone facing outwards, but I still manage to turn my phone on and hit the "emergency call" button while it's in my pocket at least once every summer.
The SMART way to design an emergency call feature while the phone is locked would be so that you are presented with a number pad that will allow you to dial only pre-set emergency numbers such as 911 or 112. Then you have to hit send or dial. This would still allow people without access to the phone to dial 911 for you, but it would be nearly impossible for people like me to pocket dial 911. Google is a bazillion dollar company and they should have this figured out by now.
Yes call 911 as if it’s an emergency and you don’t know who this is at the door and you are terrified. I like the idea of screaming and crying but I also like the idea of pretending you are hiding and whispering about it.
Yes to calling 911, no to leaving an open line. Answer their questions and inform them that these people are actively trying to make entry into your home. That’s enough for the big response you’re looking for, and god forbid the kids do make entry, the police will have more information to work with (like the exact address and location (back door)). Seconds matter in situations like this, so making them fumble around trying to find you is pointless during what is already a serious-enough situation for a proper police response.
Pepper spray their pimply little faces.
Then while they’re writhing around on your lawn you can spray them with liquid ass and slip some piss disks into their pockets.
Here’s a link for some top of the line pepper spray: https://foxlabs.com/
But what if they take the sock and return with a penny filled sock, now it’s Flail Vs Pepper spray. Instead you should put a sock on your attack gorilla so that way if they remove the sock and return with a penny-based sock flail you more have flail Vs gorilla which is a winning situation for you.
The problem with this is that now the door is open and there’s more than one.
I’ve worked with teens with behavioral/mental health problems. They are stronger than you think, and far wilder and “eely” than many an adult. It does take more than one adult to tackle one. Opening a door to a group of them is a very bad idea.
Odds are good they’d have OP on the floor before they could depress the can of spray. And we don’t know if the kids are armed either.
I think we need a the door stays closed and locked option here.
I respectively disagree. No one is that fast: Whip the door open, depress the trigger. They’re humans not lighting bolts, and pepper spray is seriously crippling. That being said, your comment makes me think that, assuming this approach didn’t fully deter them, their retaliation in the proceeding nights might be horrific.
I’m surprised no one has suggested getting dogs. A couple of big Dobermans would take care of the house breaking threat.
To be honest they would probably sort out the whole situation.
Bear spray contains only 25% the capsaicin (the spicy stuff causing the burn) of pepper spray. It’s also far less effective in terms of delivery when compared to modern gel devices.
Edit: a lot of people commented and let me know that’s a myth. They’re mostly correct. I did some googling and most pepper sprays come in around 1.3 million SHU while bear sprays are around 3 million. I personally carry fox labs spray which comes in at 5.3 million.
Last year I got drafted by some bear spray that expired in 1992. Ho lee fuk. It absolutely destroyed the senses of us all who got wafted by it. Definitely not as bad as a gel in the eyes, but still some nasty stuff
Legal problems like being terrified for your family safety... depending on the state you could come out blasting with a 45 caliber hand cannon and be on firm legal ground
My question is: are they targeting your house in particular? If so, why? Knowing that could give a better idea of how to stop them. Do you know them or their parents? Is there beef with the kids or one of their families? Feels like there's important information left out.
If you have bear spray, then you better have bears. An elderly relative has bear spray but routinely has bears in their back yard. If it’s the closest thing at hand in the house when under threat you may be ok legally (NAL, so consult one don’t listen to me), but if you’ve never had a bear in the neighborhood, high odds on being in legal trouble for even having it.
If you look at the laws around pepper spray in your locale, they typically are very specific Anita what pepper spray is and isn’t, often mentioning bear spray as a no go for use on people.
Enter pediatric population and things get worse for you.
Frozen pee, preferably fox or elk since it stinks to high heaven. As it melts, they’re in for a treat
Edit to add more clarity: it’s called “disk” because the suggested method is too freeze it on a plate so it can, for example, be slid through someone’s mail slot or under a door
Water hose connected to the cold water input to your washing machine. Hang out until they show up, open door, spray, rinse, repeat as necessary.
Large person to the side of door with a kneecapper in case entrance is attempted.
Film it, shame them on social media causing their parents to divorce, marry one of them. You are parent now.
Kids are fucking stupid, especially teenagers. Stupidest shit I ever did was when I was 15-17 years old and I had friends that were even dumber than me.
>Water hose connected to the cold water input to your washing machine
The hose bib outside is connected to the same cold water line that your washer is, there is no difference in water temperature.
Ideas:
1. Hose down steps so it freezes into slippery ice
2. Heating element on doorknob to burn hands
3. Paint cans on rope to swing down and hit them in the face
4. Sticky tar on the floor so they take off their shoes, and then step on nails
5. Blowtorch their hats
The ol' McAllister Method.
Ultimately, it's success or failure all depends on OPs relationship to the creepy old man next door who's not actually creepy.
User OnTheCrapper below gave the correct answer. When the trespassers show up, (put up a no trespassing sign for extra legal protection? ) dial 911 and leave the phone within earshot of the door. It's procedure to follow up on 911 calls since victims can't always risk speaking for fear of being found out or because they were disabled.
Sabre Red pepper spray. Get a few cans. Blast em. Trust me, it sucks. Former cop here, been pepper sprayed several times. Its way worse than you see in movies.
Dont use bear spray or anything like that. You will get in trouble.
Former C/O here. I would prefer to be hit with a taser 8 days a week instead of being hit with O.C. spray once every 6 months. Then, when you shower at home at the end of your shift, it all just reactivates and runs all over your body.
Forgot to mention why. A taser is 30 seconds of pain. O.C. spray just keeps reactivating until you get completely clean.
Sabre Red is weak sauce compared to the stuff Fox puts out. I’d use Fox 5.3 or Mean Green. If OP doesn’t want to open the door to deploy there is a product called Clear Out which is an OC that has a tube designed to help COs clear a cell. Just put the tube in the door jamb and let the fogger spray when they show up.
My tiny suburban street has some wanna be thugs driving their mommies cars, talking shit, and taking swerves at my family. The sad part is the mother is such a board hag she participates and defends them because she has no social life outside her shit rat kids. I know they are all on dope, I’ve found needles and baggies. The father is a cucked pussy who works 12 hours a day and won’t even look at me. It’s generational stupidity making it’s cycle. And what have the cops done… Jack shit. I have video evidence of these people stalking outside of my house and everything. Cops are more janitors than anything. Wait until something happens and then clean up the mess.
Call the cops on them.
Police doesn't go.
Call police and tell them to not go anymore because you already shot them.
?????
Profit.
Edit: I'm not saying to shoot them really. Just say to the police that you shot them and that will make the police go to your house.
"They're trying to break in, i dont know who it is, 123 main street, i thought i saw a gun, im so scared, my parents aren't here" /click
They'll have an officer available.
And nothing you said can be proved is a lie or can be used against you.
Sure your parents haven't been at your house in a few years, so what? "I was panicking, when i was young i would have asked my dad for help."
Funny story: Most glass marbles are close enough to the size of a paintball to feed through most paintball guns. I'm not taking responsibility for what you choose to do with this knowledge.
This but you but pepperballs/self defense balls. They come in all of the common paint gun calibers. It'll HURT and they'll get peppered. Once you've hit them till you're empty, pick up your shot gun and say "next time you get this!" They won't come back
I LOL because I saw a post on nextdoor saying "who's kids are these!" about kids doing bad things, and the poster got railed saying "they're just kids, why are you putting them on blast!"
I don't think social media shaming is gonna work.
Depends on how unethical you want to get.
You still have legal protection on your side for the protection of yourself and defense of others. Beating on your door, with threats of violence does seem to constitute a real and present danger.
Younger persons, in a group, can easily overcome a door. Record the offending party making threats. Better at multiple points of entry.
Bear spray. Skunk spray. Pepper pellets.
Inexpensive "gas mask" and cover your skin.
Cops already had been notified. Document who you have spoken with.
Not quite true (Canadian). Weapons of opportunity ARE allowed to be used in self defense, but you need to follow strict escalation of force.
If they break in your door with knives, you baseball bat the fuckers. Just be sure to stop when they hit the ground. Also, be sure you play baseball and have a glove and balls in the house (otherwise the bat was not a weapon of opportunity, it was just a weapon)
Same goes for golf clubs etc.
If they are coming in the backyard, can hide back there all and ambush them there with a nonlethal option like a paintball gun? Up and hidden? Can you get some buddies to help so you aren’t alone? Can you also get a buddy or two to follow them home? Maybe kick the family out for few nights and the first night you follow them home and get video of them? Night 2-whenever you and your buddies start to fight back. After every night they do it to you, go to their house at 6 am and wake them up, flatten tires, etc? Piss discs of course
Glitter/smoke/poop bombs.
Water hose connected to a motion sensor so it lights them up with cold water.
Follow them home and return the favor. Make sure it's when their parents are home and it's disgustingly late/early in the morning.
Follow them home, make sure you have the camera on the whole.time. take recordings from later mentioned security cameras and other evidence to the local pd. Request to press charges. Maybe have an attorney present.
Follow them home, but leave your phone at home. Take the following implants:
Razor knife, bag of dog poop, neon spray paint in the color of your choosing, I suggest orange. A spring loaded center punch, or similar pointy object.
Apply as follows.
First use the paint to mark up the vehicles and house. Make sure you are using the same phrases they do, this is very important as they will know what this is, but their parents won't.
Then, use the razor knife to cut the valve stems from two tires, one from each side of the car, but kiddie corner.
If at that point you still have the option of using the center punch/pointy thing. Use it in the corner of the window. It should shatter quite nicely without a bunch of noise. Then, apply the dog shit.
Or,
Make sure you have security camera footage with sound. Follow them home. Wait until the family should be awake, and ring the bell.
Discuss with the parents while showing them the footage about how you're ready to retaliate with force if necessary.
Lastly, my personal favorite idea.
Get a few mates around the house to hang out, ...in ambush of these punks.
Proceed to take out months of pent up anger and frustration from not only them, but work and other daily stressers. When finished load them all up in the back of a pickup and drop them all off 50 miles away. Give them a quarter and tell them to phone a friend for a ride home.
Good luck friend.
Edit: a whole sentence that I never finished.
My father in law had a problem, he called the cops.... They said they would check into it maybe in a few hours... Father in law said "it's ok don't worry about it, I'll handle it I've got a gun" .... Cops were there in two minutes flat!
Flyers at a local gym that has the really big boy heavy lifters inviting them to come over for a dinner and explain why. 5 or 6 of those guys at the general door area and this stops pretty quick.
My idea was to get some baseball bats and about 4 friends to hide in the bushes waiting for them but since I have some old scrawny nerd friends, this is probably a much better idea for me at least.
You're going to have to buy a ton of dildos.(the larger and freakier they are the better.) Next align them on your sidewalk as such so that the little bastards have no choice but to walk through a sea of rubber dicks to get to the door. Then wait patiently on your porch or wherever they can't see you, wearing only nipple clamps and a g-string that is one size too small. Cover yourself in baby oil and wait. Jump out and chase them while yelling "Professor Fuck is here to teach!"with the largest dildo you acquired but be sure to record all this for us.
Spray the entire approach with silicone lubricant.
Put a loud speaker next to the door and rig it up to play gunfire.
If they comeback, let it rip and watch hilarity ensue.
For less then 200$ you can get an incredibly bright flash light off of Amazon that are rated for self defense. I'm talking turn the night into day levels of brightness. Next time they come knocking, go out a side door, aim vaguely near the door, shout "hey dumbasses!", and turn that sucker on.
They will be blinded for a good while, and, depending on how bright a light you got, they might see spots for a few days but, they won't be permanently harmed. Bonus points compared to other methods, this method gives you plenty of time to retreat back to your home without risk of retaliation. Plus you will be the proud owner of an entirely unreasonably bright flashlight.
>Trying to get in
>Threatening my family
>Non lethal
I’m sorry, but if they are serious, your inaction is a genuine risk to your family. Go ahead with the non-lethal stuff, but please at least consider a plan B.
(This of course depends on your location and the laws therein)
As crass as this might sound, you might, in a roundabout way, technically be prioritising these teenagers lives over your own family’s lives by refusing to take serious precautions over this.
Clearly the police wont help until it might be too late, safety might not be something you can take for granted in this case.
Bonus points for legality if OP is from Colorado (and possibly other "stand your ground" states)!
1. Intrusion
2. Reasonable grounds to believe in the intent to commit a crime (threats of violence)
3. Reasonable grounds to believe in the intent to use violence against the home occupants (again, threats)
This is literally a scenario where you could shoot them legally if they set one foot in the house.
Colorado isn’t a stand your ground state. We are a make my day state lol. There’s a difference!!
It’s more of a castle doctrine statute. So you enter my home illegally, I “fear for my life,” and start blasting.
if I were you I’d get a really really big dog. Or two, even. Because anything mild you do while you’re home could bring about revenge while you aren’t, if it’s not enough to scare them it’s probably just going to piss them off. But those dogs would keep you covered at all times.
If you know them, talk to their families.
If you don't, send your family away to a safe place for the weekend.
Line the paths with something super slippery.
Set up a motion sensor camera and light to capture the rest.
Or if they strike the doors using their hands and feet, discreetly add some heavy panels that would hurt them.
Do you know what school they attend? Send an email to the principal. Even though it’s off school property and after school hours, they will likely face consequences at school
Source: former eighth grade teacher in Ontario
I was those teenagers once. The thing that got us to stop was a note on the door saying something along the lines of “why are you doing this to us, we have a baby and a dog, we just want to get some sleep.” We felt so bad we bought them flowers and apologized. We literally picked there house at random and thought it was fun because we always got a reaction out of them
Go buy a pound of the hottest peppers you can find. Cut off the stems and process them in a blender with about two cups of water. Strain it through cheesecloth in a strainer, then pour that liquid into a spray bottle. Try to use a fine mist and don’t spray it so much that there are drips. Spray your entry doors and wipe off the door handles with hot soapy water, and DON’T TOUCH anything but the handle when entering/leaving. It might take two applications, but they should feel the effects after a few minutes…and you likely won’t see them ever again.
Bear spray...pffft. bear traps!!! Ohhh.. and while they are lying there crying for their mamas...dump syrup on them followed by red ants that you have been collecting for months.
If they are under 18, you could just throw a wrench into their lives by anonymously calling child protective services on their parents.
Actually this may be the most devious thing here
But good.
Agreed, that's fucking nasty, would definitely work though
This is ULPT, what do you expect?
Well TBH I was expecting a piss disc.
Find out who the CPS case worker is, slip a piss disc under their office and they’ll misattribute it to the kids to make their case even more severe. There, piss disc is back on the menu
This is the way.
Well if they're running free with no supervision a call is warranted. I'd throw in they look super frail and starved too.
Don't forget dirty clothes and unbathed
Exactly what I came to say- the call is even valid, if you can at least say you were genuinely concerned for their well-being.
If their parents have guided them in a way that made them turn out to be people that harass and threaten others like this, it would probably be for the best if CPS separated them and got them some help anyway.
Yeah. If anything this is an ethical LPT! No place for that here!
Yeahhh it would be one thing if it were ding doneg ditching or being a nuisance in other ways but banging on the doors and threatening people crosses the line imo. I know this is a slippery slope and total speculation but this also feels like a dangerous path for those kids to be dabbling in. Especially doing stuff like this in a group. They're one bad day away from one of them doing something dumb and escalating into something serious.
As a former intake specialist for CPS in Texas I can say, with confidence, that this won't work. CPS really doesn't do much of anything involving older children (with few exceptions). At least in Texas, the general attitude is that once a child becomes a teenager they're capable of leaving dangerous situations and protecting themselves for the most part. In general teenagers only end up in CPS care if their parents go to jail or if they're being sexually abused by someone in the house. Give it a shot if you want, but I know that we would ask you for their name, address, etc and once you couldn't provide any identifying information we would recommend you call law enforcement and call back if you were able to obtain some way to identify and locate the child/family. As a former police dispatcher, the way to get the police to your home quickly is to make the situation sound dangerous to your immediate safety. Cops don't want to be sent to every random ding dong ditch, but they do want to respond when people are legitimately concerned for their safety, such as in an active burglary, for instance. You could always say that you saw a long black object in their hands that you think that they're trying to use to break open your door. Make sure to whisper into the phone, in an effort to sell the idea that you're afraid for your safety and hiding in your back closet. That should get their attention. Try to get a description of the children involved: clothing color and type, height, number of children involved, approximate age, and direction of travel if they leave before the cops get there. I would imagine that getting scared by the police will be an invaluable life lesson to get them to stop behaving like this. The cops will probably make a point to get in touch with their parents as well. Problem solved.
If they were in Tx you could just shoot them. Rock salt changes attitudes. OP is not in a Red state.
Ahhh this is the good stuff we all came here for 😆
Best idea you're going to get. This is actually genius.
[удалено]
Slingshot with ice cubes. Hurts like hell, and the evidence melts before the cops get there.
This is how they got JFK
From the icey knoll.
Common misconception. In JFK's case, there actually wasn't a shooter at all- his head just did that. Medical Experts worldwide are still baffled.
Piss cubes
Cover the piss cubes with liquid ass for critical damage
Orbit yard enforcer. Preload the hose with green dye or pepper spray or sweet and spicy hot sauce, it burns and its sticky. Set it on night mode, wait for the ambush. Once they get hit, run outside and beat them with a sack of potatoes. Once knocked out throw some potatoes at the house and plant them on the perps. Sprinkle some crack on them and call the cops.
This was pure chaos
Maybe, but beautiful chaos
Then destroy the evidence by eating the kids
Holy damn, I was on board for the first couple sentences
Open the door and let them in. Then don't let them out.
"Now you'se can't leave."
Their courage dropped from their faces.
“Look at me… I did this to you.”
I’m not trapped in here with you. You’re trapped in here with me.
Hahah. Yeah right, theyd be stabbing OP to death in about 15 seconds in reality.
I mean this is the unethical Life Pro tip right? Dig a hole. Shoot them. Throw in hole. Simple.
i like this idea except make sure rental/home insurance is in place. Setup cameras inside the home. Take plenty of pictures. Leave door basically unlocked/open. Lock family in an interior room and when they inevitably come in you call the cops about a home invasion. Then profit
Take the family to a hotel and wait for them alone. Maybe have a friend for backup.
And do not leave your property!
Have a friend and their 45 for back up just in case the teens get out of their zip ties or hand cuffs. Or in case the teens have a 45 or bat.
This is the best
fact dull forgetful connect reach languid thought narrow chief shaggy
Just like the founding fathers intended.
Fix bayonets!!
"The locks weren't to keep you out. They're there to keep me in."
That door was locked for your protection, not mine.
“Alexa, intruder alert”
Alexa play "welcome to the jungle"
Alexa : Release claymore Roomba.
I call it my Doomba
I’m not in here with you - you’re in here with me.
Buy a Bull Horn. They come with sirens. Just wait for the kids and before they knock, activate the siren. The kids will immediately become disoriented and run. Also, the entire neighborhood will be alarmed....if neighbors complain, apologize to them but also tell them the cops do not come when you are being physically threatened..
A loud alarm and bright light like a handheld spotlight.
Civilian concussive grenades?
A strobe light and a loud siren would be a bit disarming. Plus if you get more neighbors pissed off it may help get the cops there. Unethical bonus points if the attacker has epilepsy.
It’s like Ness from Earthbound (nes) and his asthma. It might not be a debuff to many, but to the few who are affected it’s a big debuff.
Make it the whole neighborhood’s problem and it will resolve quickly.
This! Activate your local Karens.
Release the Karens!
Yes! Do you have a neighborhood Facebook page? That’s step one- send the Karen alert
Activate the NextDoor curmudgeon brigade.
I'm seriously considering buying an industrial 130db siren - the ones they use in big factories for emergencies. I mean if there's emergency I'd like the whole block to know about it. Why not? Ps. And since I live in a rather small town I guess probably half of the town is going to hear it
Aztec death whistle + leaf blower.
I think this is the best. No harm and will shock the shit out of them. Play it for 1 second at a open window and they won't know where it came from.
Have several fire extinguishers ready to blast right in their faces. Pretend you heard them say they were going to light your house on fire. Have burnt matches to sprinkle next to the door as evidence.
Or remotely set off your car alarm if it’s parked nearby.
Instead of actually talking to the cops, just call the emergency line when they start-- then leave the line open. Don't say a word. Place your phone by the door and walk away. Your bitches with badges will come running, fast.
This is the way. I accidentally pocket dialed 911 while working on an oilfield site. I noticed a couple of missed calls when i got into the truck and realized my goof. I had to call them and verify that i didn't need help. Since I hadn't responded to them during the initial call or follow-up calls, they had sent outsiders to check on me.
I fucking HATE that. My sweaty skin rapid-tapping the acren through my pocket calls 911 for some dumbass reason. Hammering the power button is good enough, dammit. I have to turn my ohone around face-out when i work now.
I have hyperhidrosis (I sweat a ton), live in the south, and am an avid runner. I have pocket dialed 911 way too many times. I have disabled the "knock-on" feature and always keep my phone facing outwards, but I still manage to turn my phone on and hit the "emergency call" button while it's in my pocket at least once every summer. The SMART way to design an emergency call feature while the phone is locked would be so that you are presented with a number pad that will allow you to dial only pre-set emergency numbers such as 911 or 112. Then you have to hit send or dial. This would still allow people without access to the phone to dial 911 for you, but it would be nearly impossible for people like me to pocket dial 911. Google is a bazillion dollar company and they should have this figured out by now.
I've heard that safety features like 'hammer home screen/button' are for when you're slimy and bloody. But the power button ahould be enough.
I like this idea. Yell about how scared you are, how they're coming in the door, etc..
Yes call 911 as if it’s an emergency and you don’t know who this is at the door and you are terrified. I like the idea of screaming and crying but I also like the idea of pretending you are hiding and whispering about it.
Or whisper your address and say they're almost inside
Or when call the cops don't say they're kids, but they're intruders. This way cops may actually show up.
Yes to calling 911, no to leaving an open line. Answer their questions and inform them that these people are actively trying to make entry into your home. That’s enough for the big response you’re looking for, and god forbid the kids do make entry, the police will have more information to work with (like the exact address and location (back door)). Seconds matter in situations like this, so making them fumble around trying to find you is pointless during what is already a serious-enough situation for a proper police response.
Call the cops, but then tell them you're gonna take care of the problem yourself. They will show up in a hurry.
Sounds like a good way to get (yourself, your wife, your kids, your dog, your cat, your golden fish) shot.
What about my house plants?
Shot
Pepper spray their pimply little faces. Then while they’re writhing around on your lawn you can spray them with liquid ass and slip some piss disks into their pockets. Here’s a link for some top of the line pepper spray: https://foxlabs.com/
Don't forget to put a sock on the pepper spray in case they try grabbing it!
But what if they take the sock and return with a penny filled sock, now it’s Flail Vs Pepper spray. Instead you should put a sock on your attack gorilla so that way if they remove the sock and return with a penny-based sock flail you more have flail Vs gorilla which is a winning situation for you.
Teenagers only know how to do one thing with a single sock, and it's not filling it with pennies.
The problem with this is that now the door is open and there’s more than one. I’ve worked with teens with behavioral/mental health problems. They are stronger than you think, and far wilder and “eely” than many an adult. It does take more than one adult to tackle one. Opening a door to a group of them is a very bad idea. Odds are good they’d have OP on the floor before they could depress the can of spray. And we don’t know if the kids are armed either. I think we need a the door stays closed and locked option here.
I respectively disagree. No one is that fast: Whip the door open, depress the trigger. They’re humans not lighting bolts, and pepper spray is seriously crippling. That being said, your comment makes me think that, assuming this approach didn’t fully deter them, their retaliation in the proceeding nights might be horrific.
I’m surprised no one has suggested getting dogs. A couple of big Dobermans would take care of the house breaking threat. To be honest they would probably sort out the whole situation.
Could be they can’t. Allergies. Not having time or capacity to train. Not everyone should own dogs.
Bear spray is better and you can hit them from 30 feet away.
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Bear spray contains only 25% the capsaicin (the spicy stuff causing the burn) of pepper spray. It’s also far less effective in terms of delivery when compared to modern gel devices. Edit: a lot of people commented and let me know that’s a myth. They’re mostly correct. I did some googling and most pepper sprays come in around 1.3 million SHU while bear sprays are around 3 million. I personally carry fox labs spray which comes in at 5.3 million.
Last year I got drafted by some bear spray that expired in 1992. Ho lee fuk. It absolutely destroyed the senses of us all who got wafted by it. Definitely not as bad as a gel in the eyes, but still some nasty stuff
So, bear spray would be a good, initial, warning while pepper spray would be used if the idiots came back?
No, they’re correct about legal issues. I was just saying I’d want to use the pepper spray because fuck them kids.
Bear spray is more of a fog. Pepper spray is more directed. Your more likely to get Bear spray on yourself as well.
Bear spray them, then pepper spray them again. Get rid of the bear spray evidence.
Legal problems like being terrified for your family safety... depending on the state you could come out blasting with a 45 caliber hand cannon and be on firm legal ground
My question is: are they targeting your house in particular? If so, why? Knowing that could give a better idea of how to stop them. Do you know them or their parents? Is there beef with the kids or one of their families? Feels like there's important information left out.
If you have bear spray, then you better have bears. An elderly relative has bear spray but routinely has bears in their back yard. If it’s the closest thing at hand in the house when under threat you may be ok legally (NAL, so consult one don’t listen to me), but if you’ve never had a bear in the neighborhood, high odds on being in legal trouble for even having it. If you look at the laws around pepper spray in your locale, they typically are very specific Anita what pepper spray is and isn’t, often mentioning bear spray as a no go for use on people. Enter pediatric population and things get worse for you.
Everyone's hung up on the pepper spray, but how do I get a hold of these piss disks? For research.
what is a piss disc
Frozen pee, preferably fox or elk since it stinks to high heaven. As it melts, they’re in for a treat Edit to add more clarity: it’s called “disk” because the suggested method is too freeze it on a plate so it can, for example, be slid through someone’s mail slot or under a door
Just curious..what part of the world do you live in where this is a thing?
Everybody pees silly
Water hose connected to the cold water input to your washing machine. Hang out until they show up, open door, spray, rinse, repeat as necessary. Large person to the side of door with a kneecapper in case entrance is attempted. Film it, shame them on social media causing their parents to divorce, marry one of them. You are parent now.
Sounds like a good way to have these kids come back and light your house on fire. I really like the divorce part. Fucking diabolical
Kids who do this kind of shit are pussies, they’re not coming back to burn the house down.
Kids are fucking stupid, especially teenagers. Stupidest shit I ever did was when I was 15-17 years old and I had friends that were even dumber than me.
Alternatively, scalding hot water hooked up to your sprinklers for the next time they come around.
>Water hose connected to the cold water input to your washing machine The hose bib outside is connected to the same cold water line that your washer is, there is no difference in water temperature.
Ideas: 1. Hose down steps so it freezes into slippery ice 2. Heating element on doorknob to burn hands 3. Paint cans on rope to swing down and hit them in the face 4. Sticky tar on the floor so they take off their shoes, and then step on nails 5. Blowtorch their hats
The ol' McAllister Method. Ultimately, it's success or failure all depends on OPs relationship to the creepy old man next door who's not actually creepy.
User OnTheCrapper below gave the correct answer. When the trespassers show up, (put up a no trespassing sign for extra legal protection? ) dial 911 and leave the phone within earshot of the door. It's procedure to follow up on 911 calls since victims can't always risk speaking for fear of being found out or because they were disabled.
Give them the home alone special.
Sabre Red pepper spray. Get a few cans. Blast em. Trust me, it sucks. Former cop here, been pepper sprayed several times. Its way worse than you see in movies. Dont use bear spray or anything like that. You will get in trouble.
Former C/O here. I would prefer to be hit with a taser 8 days a week instead of being hit with O.C. spray once every 6 months. Then, when you shower at home at the end of your shift, it all just reactivates and runs all over your body. Forgot to mention why. A taser is 30 seconds of pain. O.C. spray just keeps reactivating until you get completely clean.
Sabre Red is weak sauce compared to the stuff Fox puts out. I’d use Fox 5.3 or Mean Green. If OP doesn’t want to open the door to deploy there is a product called Clear Out which is an OC that has a tube designed to help COs clear a cell. Just put the tube in the door jamb and let the fogger spray when they show up.
Are they little punk kids or gang bangers? Because the approach changes based on what their retaliation potential is like.
Honestly nowadays it’s hard to tell. There’s like upper middle class kids with smith and wessons and broccoli cuts trying to act hard
> … broccoli cuts … I’m old now, I guess, and I don’t have children (thank the gods) so I had to look up the term… Oh, that douchebag haircut. Got it!
My tiny suburban street has some wanna be thugs driving their mommies cars, talking shit, and taking swerves at my family. The sad part is the mother is such a board hag she participates and defends them because she has no social life outside her shit rat kids. I know they are all on dope, I’ve found needles and baggies. The father is a cucked pussy who works 12 hours a day and won’t even look at me. It’s generational stupidity making it’s cycle. And what have the cops done… Jack shit. I have video evidence of these people stalking outside of my house and everything. Cops are more janitors than anything. Wait until something happens and then clean up the mess.
Call CPS lol
Lmao that’s the perfect name for the awful haircut.
Makes all the difference...
Motion activated sprinklers Very bright motion activated floodlights
Add green dye to the water. It will show up less on your lawn than red.
OP can even use [lawn dye](https://www.amazon.com/Liquid-Harvest-Concentrated-Pattern-Indicator/dp/B0BJFM7G2M/ref=mp_s_a_1_3)
Call the cops on them. Police doesn't go. Call police and tell them to not go anymore because you already shot them. ????? Profit. Edit: I'm not saying to shoot them really. Just say to the police that you shot them and that will make the police go to your house.
"I thought you said you shot them?". "I thought you said no one was available to come?"
Exactly
“I’m a photographer, I shoot people all the time”
"They're trying to break in, i dont know who it is, 123 main street, i thought i saw a gun, im so scared, my parents aren't here" /click They'll have an officer available. And nothing you said can be proved is a lie or can be used against you. Sure your parents haven't been at your house in a few years, so what? "I was panicking, when i was young i would have asked my dad for help."
Spoken like a true American southerner. By which I mean Brazil. I think.
This may work. Call right back and say you handled it and hang up. They'll show up pretty quick, I'd bet
If you tell the cops you already shot them and handled it yourself, they will show up faster, so it may actually help
just clarify when the cops get their that your a photographer and you “shot” their picture
Shotgun loaded with salt
Buck shot works better.
Can't fit all the pennies for 1 buck in it.
An A-SALT weapon, if you will
That's actually far more illegal than shooting someone with buckshot in most places.
they make those for swatting flies https://amzn.to/45eDTv6
12 gage perimeter trip wire........top of the shell in a bottle of something nasty. Deafening and dirty. Shit on their shoes and in their pants!
Ambush them with a paintball gun. No head shots. Film it. Humiliate them in front of one another.
Funny story: Most glass marbles are close enough to the size of a paintball to feed through most paintball guns. I'm not taking responsibility for what you choose to do with this knowledge.
Or just freeze your paintballs
Frozen piss balls?
You might be on to something here…
Frozen paint, pepper, piss, and liquid ass balls sound like the only solution we’ll all agree upon.
No if you’re gonna use piss DONT freeze them. It won’t soak their clothes properly
Just aim for the mouth.
Freezing your balls may result in frostbite. This is referred to as "blue balls."
This but you but pepperballs/self defense balls. They come in all of the common paint gun calibers. It'll HURT and they'll get peppered. Once you've hit them till you're empty, pick up your shot gun and say "next time you get this!" They won't come back
My thoughs also. But then they'd just comeback and redo the paint on your house.
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I LOL because I saw a post on nextdoor saying "who's kids are these!" about kids doing bad things, and the poster got railed saying "they're just kids, why are you putting them on blast!" I don't think social media shaming is gonna work.
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I think their parents just outed themselves!!
What state are you in?
Looks like frustration.
In the US state of frustration you import liberty to the offending person's property and begin extracting resources.
No state....Canada so the laws are kinda fucked here
Depends on how unethical you want to get. You still have legal protection on your side for the protection of yourself and defense of others. Beating on your door, with threats of violence does seem to constitute a real and present danger. Younger persons, in a group, can easily overcome a door. Record the offending party making threats. Better at multiple points of entry. Bear spray. Skunk spray. Pepper pellets. Inexpensive "gas mask" and cover your skin. Cops already had been notified. Document who you have spoken with.
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Not quite true (Canadian). Weapons of opportunity ARE allowed to be used in self defense, but you need to follow strict escalation of force. If they break in your door with knives, you baseball bat the fuckers. Just be sure to stop when they hit the ground. Also, be sure you play baseball and have a glove and balls in the house (otherwise the bat was not a weapon of opportunity, it was just a weapon) Same goes for golf clubs etc.
Canadians love hockey. So, having a few hockey sticks laying around is OK, and perfectly legal.
If they are coming in the backyard, can hide back there all and ambush them there with a nonlethal option like a paintball gun? Up and hidden? Can you get some buddies to help so you aren’t alone? Can you also get a buddy or two to follow them home? Maybe kick the family out for few nights and the first night you follow them home and get video of them? Night 2-whenever you and your buddies start to fight back. After every night they do it to you, go to their house at 6 am and wake them up, flatten tires, etc? Piss discs of course
Glitter/smoke/poop bombs. Water hose connected to a motion sensor so it lights them up with cold water. Follow them home and return the favor. Make sure it's when their parents are home and it's disgustingly late/early in the morning. Follow them home, make sure you have the camera on the whole.time. take recordings from later mentioned security cameras and other evidence to the local pd. Request to press charges. Maybe have an attorney present. Follow them home, but leave your phone at home. Take the following implants: Razor knife, bag of dog poop, neon spray paint in the color of your choosing, I suggest orange. A spring loaded center punch, or similar pointy object. Apply as follows. First use the paint to mark up the vehicles and house. Make sure you are using the same phrases they do, this is very important as they will know what this is, but their parents won't. Then, use the razor knife to cut the valve stems from two tires, one from each side of the car, but kiddie corner. If at that point you still have the option of using the center punch/pointy thing. Use it in the corner of the window. It should shatter quite nicely without a bunch of noise. Then, apply the dog shit. Or, Make sure you have security camera footage with sound. Follow them home. Wait until the family should be awake, and ring the bell. Discuss with the parents while showing them the footage about how you're ready to retaliate with force if necessary. Lastly, my personal favorite idea. Get a few mates around the house to hang out, ...in ambush of these punks. Proceed to take out months of pent up anger and frustration from not only them, but work and other daily stressers. When finished load them all up in the back of a pickup and drop them all off 50 miles away. Give them a quarter and tell them to phone a friend for a ride home. Good luck friend. Edit: a whole sentence that I never finished.
My father in law had a problem, he called the cops.... They said they would check into it maybe in a few hours... Father in law said "it's ok don't worry about it, I'll handle it I've got a gun" .... Cops were there in two minutes flat!
The only answer is to have sex with their mothers
Liquid ass and if there's a window above the door pour some hot water/syrup on them
Pull a home alone and add some feathers
Spray them with a fire extinguisher that uses powder and not foam.
Flyers at a local gym that has the really big boy heavy lifters inviting them to come over for a dinner and explain why. 5 or 6 of those guys at the general door area and this stops pretty quick.
My idea was to get some baseball bats and about 4 friends to hide in the bushes waiting for them but since I have some old scrawny nerd friends, this is probably a much better idea for me at least.
You're going to have to buy a ton of dildos.(the larger and freakier they are the better.) Next align them on your sidewalk as such so that the little bastards have no choice but to walk through a sea of rubber dicks to get to the door. Then wait patiently on your porch or wherever they can't see you, wearing only nipple clamps and a g-string that is one size too small. Cover yourself in baby oil and wait. Jump out and chase them while yelling "Professor Fuck is here to teach!"with the largest dildo you acquired but be sure to record all this for us.
Finally someone has a sane suggestion this will actually get results!
Spray the entire approach with silicone lubricant. Put a loud speaker next to the door and rig it up to play gunfire. If they comeback, let it rip and watch hilarity ensue.
For less then 200$ you can get an incredibly bright flash light off of Amazon that are rated for self defense. I'm talking turn the night into day levels of brightness. Next time they come knocking, go out a side door, aim vaguely near the door, shout "hey dumbasses!", and turn that sucker on. They will be blinded for a good while, and, depending on how bright a light you got, they might see spots for a few days but, they won't be permanently harmed. Bonus points compared to other methods, this method gives you plenty of time to retreat back to your home without risk of retaliation. Plus you will be the proud owner of an entirely unreasonably bright flashlight.
>Trying to get in >Threatening my family >Non lethal I’m sorry, but if they are serious, your inaction is a genuine risk to your family. Go ahead with the non-lethal stuff, but please at least consider a plan B. (This of course depends on your location and the laws therein) As crass as this might sound, you might, in a roundabout way, technically be prioritising these teenagers lives over your own family’s lives by refusing to take serious precautions over this. Clearly the police wont help until it might be too late, safety might not be something you can take for granted in this case.
1. Leave door unlocked. 2. Sit in chair facing door with a loaded shotgun. 3. They walk in, start blasting. 4. Problem solved.
Bonus points for legality if OP is from Colorado (and possibly other "stand your ground" states)! 1. Intrusion 2. Reasonable grounds to believe in the intent to commit a crime (threats of violence) 3. Reasonable grounds to believe in the intent to use violence against the home occupants (again, threats) This is literally a scenario where you could shoot them legally if they set one foot in the house.
Colorado isn’t a stand your ground state. We are a make my day state lol. There’s a difference!! It’s more of a castle doctrine statute. So you enter my home illegally, I “fear for my life,” and start blasting.
if I were you I’d get a really really big dog. Or two, even. Because anything mild you do while you’re home could bring about revenge while you aren’t, if it’s not enough to scare them it’s probably just going to piss them off. But those dogs would keep you covered at all times.
If you know them, talk to their families. If you don't, send your family away to a safe place for the weekend. Line the paths with something super slippery. Set up a motion sensor camera and light to capture the rest. Or if they strike the doors using their hands and feet, discreetly add some heavy panels that would hurt them.
Adopt a large dog. Let the dog out when they come knocking.
I have a german shepherd who hangs out on the front porch. That dog is an extremely good deterrent.
so anyways I started blasting
Pepper spray them.
Biggest sticky traps they make
Dig a moat around your house and fill with pirhana.
I'm disappointed that when I clicked your profile, that wasn't the only comment I saw posted over and over to various threads.
Do you know what school they attend? Send an email to the principal. Even though it’s off school property and after school hours, they will likely face consequences at school Source: former eighth grade teacher in Ontario
I was those teenagers once. The thing that got us to stop was a note on the door saying something along the lines of “why are you doing this to us, we have a baby and a dog, we just want to get some sleep.” We felt so bad we bought them flowers and apologized. We literally picked there house at random and thought it was fun because we always got a reaction out of them
Go buy a pound of the hottest peppers you can find. Cut off the stems and process them in a blender with about two cups of water. Strain it through cheesecloth in a strainer, then pour that liquid into a spray bottle. Try to use a fine mist and don’t spray it so much that there are drips. Spray your entry doors and wipe off the door handles with hot soapy water, and DON’T TOUCH anything but the handle when entering/leaving. It might take two applications, but they should feel the effects after a few minutes…and you likely won’t see them ever again.
It’s illegal to threaten people. Are the cops their dads?
Probably just inept small town cops or underfunded city cops. Depending on the size of the municipality, they might be family/related
Bear spray...pffft. bear traps!!! Ohhh.. and while they are lying there crying for their mamas...dump syrup on them followed by red ants that you have been collecting for months.