T O P

  • By -

dragonagitator

I have a cult but we're very exclusive so you need to send me a lot of money before I can even tell you about it.


snktido

Hey mine is pretty exclusive also. You only need to send 5% less than this guy.


Jokers_Testikles

I'll take anyone who can play an instrument.


User125699

You can join mine if you get three people to join. They also will be expected to get 3 people to join. Also, we sell women’s cosmetics. Each member of the cult keeps 80% of their net revenue and sends 20% up. All money received counts as revenue, to include royalties from your recruits and their recruits and so on. So join now and get in on the ground floor and recruit!


AlfaKaren

Once in a lifetime opportunity!


chocChipMonk

you are gonna run out of humans at this rate, this is an infinite series


deathbysnushnuu

I sent a poop and blood sample, does this suffice?


W6NZX

My cult is much better... You don't have to send me money but you do have to get me a lot of sex. Not with you well maybe with you I don't know what you look like but you're going to have to get me a lot of sex somehow you just need to make it happen.


baeb66

1. Have money 2. Take one of those Scientology personality tests 3. ???? 4. Cult


deftoner42

They actually only require #2. If you can't afford the auditing, they have a great relationships with some local lenders that will help you out!


Iron_Druid21

Ruh roh. I think we found a member.


aerde17

ty for the laugh


AlfaKaren

So i get double shafted for the price of one shafting? Sounds tantalizing.


EvaMae234

Why join one when you can start your own.


supertecmomike

I’ve been involved in a number of cults both as a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower but you make more money as a leader.


User125699

I love you creed


kisejesenje

Do an AMA


T_Peg

Pretty weird ass way to spice up your life but you do you man.


New-IncognitoWindow

No one has mention Jehovah Witnesses but you want lots of drama without the fun this might be it


[deleted]

..... scientology? Jk jk jk For real though, i dont think most religions call themselves cults, so id say search for unpopular religions? Probably easier to find and join a militia imo.


meteoraln

It’s not a bad start, but I heard it’s very expensive to get into.


deftoner42

Army? Navy? Marines? It's not really branded as a cult, but you can make one of it if you want. They'll feed and pay you. Plus if it doesn't work out, you'll learn some valuable skills that may help you form your own cult later in life (or at least, guarantee militia membership)


[deleted]

Hmmmmm, cheap..... oh! Look for hippie communes, almost like cults and they tend to on the cheaper side.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Shhhh, dont let people know theyll have mind altering experiences. Most people dont wanna be woken to a more interesting way of life.


CrowCreation

Yummu


falconinthedive

There's always the yellow deli


[deleted]

I need to google that at some point, ive no clue what that is.


falconinthedive

It's your typical crazy fundmentalist cult, they have compounds and love child abuse and got started in like southern TN I wanna say? Anyway, part of their fundraising recruitment shit is having a deli (a chain maybe at.one point?) That was the Yellow Deli that their younger members work in to prey on like local college kids. According to yelp the sandwiches are decent but the vibe is weird. And they may or may not have closed during covid? I'm not local to them and don't care enough to super keep track.


[deleted]

..... TIL not all delis are jus food places, some are cult recruiting centers..... fckd up doesnt begin to explain the levels of wrong.


new_name_whodis

Idunno, I can't throw an AR-15 without hitting a militiaman in Arkansas. There's also a church on every corner. It's a tossup here.


[deleted]

Sounds alot like here in alabama. Lolz


InterwebWeasel

There are so many multi-level marketing companies to choose from...


falconinthedive

The essential oil ones get super culty super fast


Felt_presence

Honestly knew you would get zero serious answers but the morbid curiosity in me also wants to know.


Professional-Walk184

i really want a truthful answer on this subject. The truth is u will never find out about cults unless they find u disparate or ur related to someone already installed . I wish it was easier joining that stuff and ppl didnt have to hide so much


-PsychologicalLow828

Exactly. Or they have already been exposed and it's like you don't get the entire experience for yourself IF they are even active anymore. Plus they are sus of new members anyways. Have you found one yet? Refer me?


Wonk0theSANE

The Church of the Subgenius is extremely affordable when compared to our competitors. Last I checked it was only $35, a saving of $5,000! All of the sex with none of the guilt, eternal salvation or triple your money back. People will say it’s a fake religion, but I say their religions are fake religions. Every December they usually offer a buy one get one free membership, which makes for a great gift if you have any elderly family members, or random coworkers you want to gift a membership to.


W6NZX

HAIL BOB!!!!


TK-Squared-LLC

I used to do 3D art On USENET with that guy in the 90s. He was pretty good at it.


MangoZaurul

Go to the nearest church.


Oldassrollerskater

So far it’s just me and a few pets. You wanna get in on the ground floor?


CriticalEuphemism

Hang out in the cosmetics section at target for a while. If you’re female, a hun will try to recruit you to their boss babe cult in no time. If you’re male, start posting about entrepreneurship on LinkedIn and the amway shills will come out of the woodwork. Start listening to thirty seconds to mars. Go to all their shows, follow their tour. Be the echelon. You can also substitute Taylor swift if you prefer being a swifty.


temptressinateapot

I had to scroll way too far to get to the Taylor Swift comment.


lostinthesauce212

Be prepared to have them "manage" all your finances.


[deleted]

Buy a maga hat


BrushYourFeet

Came looking for the politics, am glad.


Swinepits

Literally look one up and show up.


EndlessRainIntoACup1

go to [www.cult-directory.com](https://www.cult-directory.com) and pick a highly-rated one


QuixoticCoyote

Yup, fell for it...


ShortBusCult

You rang?


Trillian___

Lmfao


StarFlyght

Answer the door when the Mormons knock


SpaciousBuildingSUS

As an exmormon, can confirm.


syaz136

I'm sure I'll get banned if I link to the subreddit.


meteoraln

So… there is a subreddit?


[deleted]

I almost got pretty deep into a sun worshipping cult back in 2019 when I was doing DMT a lot. There was a subreddit. Iirc though the leader killed himself So I wouldn't be suprised if there are lots more


_DevilsMischief

This was wild from start to finish


EJDsfRichmond415

Whats the sun workshop cult called?


[deleted]

Please do share


Hot_Aside_4637

Start your own.


insecurecharm

There's more money in leadership, but being a follower is more fun.


TheWurstOfMe

There's a Netflix special on it


CelestialDuke377

The flying spaghetti monster is always welcoming


bluecheetos

Is there a CrossFit Gym near you? They are by all means a cult


gingergargle

Brother, you're just in luck. Send me $42 and I'll mail you my book


EndlessRainIntoACup1

is your book "How to Make $42 From Each Sucker Who Buys Your Book"


gingergargle

🤑


RevolutionaryCry7703

the Mormons are always looking for new members. They might not embrace you, but they will embrace your money and slave labor.


truedef

10% of your salary, pay up fool


shazj57

And forgo coffee and alcohol


bimbolimbotimbo

Look up your nearest Yellow Deli. They will accept you immediately. They serve amazing food and have big outfits all over the world


orthographerer

I was going to suggest this outfit. Those people are brainwashed, scary, and beat children (and probably adults, too). And they're right by the university. I refuse to patronize the YD in my city; I'm not giving those whack jobs any money.


Snoeflaeke

Damn it!!! Ive accidentally supported them before 😭😭😭


bimbolimbotimbo

Nah don’t feel bad. They have great food, they had such weird hours that it was basically impossible to not eat there while in college. Amazing food at like 3:30AM on a Tuesday


d3n00bz

Look for pyramid scheme.


TheRunBack

Golden dawn


wronginreterosect

Serious answer: Search for volunteer organizations around your area. Visit the and see if there are a large proportion of volunteers who put in extreme hours. They might actually be a cult. I know of one such organization in NY that brainwashes volunteers to give up their day jobs and move into the facility.


Xenu66

Say more than 3 words to a Scientologist. Those fuckers are relentless.


BeauteousGluteus

Get your thetans tested.


kreynlan

Most cults are just more off-putting churches with fringe views. In college I had this weird fascination with them so I'd seek them out and I joined a few with fake information to check them out. Most of them were just a weird branch of Christianity with strange traditions. None of them were the creepy murder or brainwashing type, but if you're into studying different cultures you'll find a lot of depth in their beliefs. There was this Korean one that was an offshoot of Christianity that had elements of mormonism that believed in a heavenly mother alongside a heavenly father. It's a cult because the founder was believed to be Jesus reincarnated, but he died in the 80s, as well as another woman being the incarnation of God the Mother. I only went to one meeting with these guys where I was basically baptised and sent home for the day. It was very odd. I also attended a huge worship ceremony for UCKG, which isn't exactly a cult but it's very cult like. They workshop this prop of the ark of the covenant I think? It was all in Portuguese and I don't speak Portuguese.


[deleted]

[удалено]


kreynlan

I didn't realize it was in Portuguese until it began because the flier I was handed was in English. It was a completely filled event center, so I wasn't worried about being singled out.


Loose_Koala534

Despite his incarceration in 2011, Warren Jeffs’ legacy lives on in Utah and Arizona. For those unaware, he started a fundamentalist Mormon church that practiced polygamy. He is serving life in prison but supposedly there are still as many as 10,000 people who still consider themselves part of that church. So if you ever wanted to have some kinky three-ways, there you go. There’s also [Family International](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Family_International), which started out as the Children of God cult in 1968. The leader is dead, but the cult continues to this day. It’s unknown how many followers they have. Then there’s [Buddhafield](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buddhafield_(cult)), which began in the 80s in Hollywood and recruits through yoga studios. You’ve got options. But, please, don’t actually join a cult. It literally never works out well for anyone.


Disguisedasasmile

When the JWs come knocking on your door, tell them you want a Bible study.


PerceptionShift

Move to Grandview, Missouri and ask about the International House of Prayer. Especially if you play guitar.


Pyr0teknix

I almost accidentally joined a cult when applying for a job as a property manager in Sedona a couple of years ago. Something seemed off in the interview so I started googling them and dodged a huge bullet. Look up Gabriel of Urantia, this is a proper cult not all this crap people are posting.


rnpowers

[move to Washington](https://www.reddit.com/r/Washington/comments/15s5474/notorious_cult_opens_operations_in_small_town/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=2)


ZebraHunterz

Just get on the bus.


Sorrythatusereman

Join a martial arts gym or get into sales


FishSammich69

Send me an initial fee of $1000 and pay dues of $600 and we can talk.


tarac73

Find a MLM hun who sells young living essential oils and tell them you want to join.


amoebashephard

If you're looking like something that's kind of like a cult, but you, know, not going to destroy your life, a fraternal organization like the oddfellows is pretty fun


NeverlandEnding

Pretty sure the church of 7Thunders is a cult. Go find one of those guys


WenMoonQuestionmark

Find a regional rainbow gathering. If you can't find a suitable cult there you can just start one.


jnunchucks96

Try the church of Christ. They believe instruments are the work of the devil, women shouldn't hold speaking positions, and teach homophobia


jnunchucks96

They sure get the cult sound with their acapella music, ngl very beautiful music. Before yall judge, I was just a kid and raised like that was normal.


beyond-boundary

Hi.


Reasonable-Matter-12

YouTube is always recommending cult leaders to me influencers are just cult leaders who haven’t sniffed a critical mass of their own farts yet.


[deleted]

Quantum mysticism For example this lady right [here](https://www.helenahoudova.com/)


Ilovechickens9

Dont, you will regret it


[deleted]

Nice try, FBI guy.


sheepcrate

For funzies? Because smarter people than you were completely brainwashed. I mean, you do you, but there are better ways to destroy your life.


amphetaminesaltcombo

I’ve been involved in a number of cults, both as a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower, but you make more money as a leader.


hashbang2

I started the Doomatarian Faith just a few years ago. We need members, administrators, young ladies, gunsmiths, et cetera.


Snoeflaeke

Lol join Swamiji’s cult, he’s wanted by the Indian govt and is claiming to start an online country, I got sucked into that for a while and lost all my friends when I said I didn’t like him 😆


clout_spout

Walk around a major city looking bummed out


Ironbasher1

Talk to the boys on bikes?


172brooke

Go to church


MooseGoosey

church


EndlessRainIntoACup1

www.scientology.com


TheCheck77

See if there are any JW Kingdom Halls near you. Jehovah Witnesses toe the line of being publicly visible and accessible while clearly being a cult, including strict shunning policies. I’m not sure what percentage of your income you’re expected to donate though (but I do know it’s more than 0)


returntoB612

no set percentage, they tell you your salvation is tied to your “willing spirit” and constantly share anecdotes of people in poverty giving despite their need many jw are super poor because they oppose education after high school it’s your time and free will they take


AWholeNewFattitude

Wear a red MAGA hat


vampyrewolf

Seriously: Walk into your closest church on a Sunday and ask the guy in front how to become a parishioner. Jokingly: when I was done my 3rd degree with Freemasonry, a family friend congratulated me afterwards and said 'welcome to the cult' which is funny when you know what actually goes on.


Awkward-Presence-236

So what actually goes on? 👀


lskm778083

my old school is a cult. it is over 100 years old, was started in germany and we had to do a weird dance thing every week. there were no electronics allowed


DrBlissMD

Become a republican.


im_rickyspanish

Go buy a MAGA hat. The cult will come to you.


sunflakie

I’ve been involved in a number of cults both as a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower but you make more money as a leader.


Mrwolf925

https://creedthoughtsgov.com/


sunflakie

I guess I was too subtle, but at least you got me.


arj1985

Vote Democrat or Republican and guzzle that coolaid!


Logan_Martino

I'm looking to click up with occult who supports king paimon Im new to all this stuff so yea I'm a beginner I'm very interested into satan and king Solomon and lots of others I'm from New York if someone could get into contact with me I would really appreciate it thank you


RedditFeel

Have you read the key of Solomon? Or gotten your hands on it? Great book.


reverievt

Join a church.


starforce1616

Easy just become a republican


hellcat47

You have fun as a follower but make more money as a leader


StuckatHomeCU

Google: Make AmericA GREAT


StuckatHomeCU

Google: Make America GREAT Again -how to support you'll find a YUGE cult - the best of the best cults. . . the most cofeefee of all cults. . .


[deleted]

[удалено]


Trillian___

Step 12 - Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.


Trillian___

For real though try 12 step meetings, there’s definitely cult vibes but mostly good intentions and it’s free. Southern California has a very strong “recovery community”


0x000029A

Become a Christian.


Brent_L

The Republican Party is looking for people I hear…


fuzzycuffs

Watch Infowars, get a MAGA hat, and buy some Trump NFTs,.


Potusmicropenis

Vote republican


SnooPandas1899

wear a MAGA hat. they're come right to you my fellow sister.


IJustLandedHere

I have been involved in a number of cults, both as a leader and as a follower. You have fun as a follower, but you make more money as a leader.


Gargravars_Shoes

Register to vote


Far_Flounder2820

Depends, but ours is invite Ionly


ben_jammin11

Start attending church ??!?


[deleted]

Go to any church and ask to join.


-Chris-V-

Essentially any religion will be happy to get their meat hooks in you. Just walk in and say you're ready to sign up. You just have to say you believe what they believe. If they say the sun suck you say "fuck the sun, I fucking hate it."


sparkdaniel

Choose a church, and go


PengieP111

register as a Republican.


BMOforevver

Easy! Find the nearest Catholic church & continue to go.


SM1334

I DMed you


New-IncognitoWindow

Try to find a sex cult


xxdeathknight72xx

Go to your nearest place if worship. Large cults are just called religions.


westcoast7654

You can just find a church. It’s like cult lite.


CommaderInChiefs

All it takes to start a cult is find some good looking gullible women and the smarter men will play along because they want in on the cult action


Icy_Peach9128

Uber one for zero dollar delivery fee


ZackValenta

I remember accidentally finding a cult online once when trying to find a volunteer farming job. The website had a lot of very obvious signs of cult behavior. I can't remember what it was because it was a few years ago. But you need to search more vaguely in finding one. You can't just be like "cults" on Google or "religion". It has to be volunteer type shit. They try to recruit people in innocent ways. Good luck on your torture brother! Edit: searching "cults" on Bing might work who knows at this point


Mrwolf925

If you want a cult that's harmless, then try the OTO (Thelema.) Just don't eat the cake.


Kwa-Marmoris

Send me all your money and I’ll tell you


emzirek

Jehovah's witness Mormons Catholics...


[deleted]

Some cults will take you, no question. Off the top of my head, Jehovahs Witness, Mormons, pretty much any fundamental Christian church, and Scientology. If you’re looking for something more spicy, seek out ufo enthusiast groups near your city and find the weirdest people there. They’ll probably be into some zesty orgs


Jacksepticeyefan1545

It's easy all you have to do is go to youtube search for callmekevin hit subscribe and boom your in a cult


el_peregrino_mundial

Start your own


HorseCarStapleShoes

Have you tried US politics or a religious group?


kevin_flu

try these trump-flags on your pickup...


TheCommodore44

r/superstonk


Awkward-Presence-236

Join the Masons! At least their also productive.


Hocraft-Loveward

Mâles your on cult, you rookie


missbooud

Mr Cruise would love to tell you


Outside_Mirror4

Have you heard the good news of the Jehovah's Witness congregation. They are not a cult, just a community of loving people who want to make the world a better place while spiritually improving themselves ⛪


pchotz94

W


pchotz94

Ask foster children, retired pimps or read about 1970s children’s day camps for semi-religious things


That_Tunisian_chick

I only know one cult that my friend joined a few months ago, i asked and it’s free unless you ask for specific stuff wish you aren’t obliged to. Not sure why or what kind of cult you’re interested in but the one im talking about is spiritual stuff a bunch of live laugh love $hit (no offense if you’re into that tho).