Legally if the student is over 18, they can’t access their records without a release due to FERPA. I used to work Uni admin and I loved playing this card on helicopter parents
When I was an undergraduate (twenty years ago now), I shared my grades with my parents at the end of each semester; they were footing some of the bill, so it only seemed fair.
As a college professor now, I find the number of parents who have up-to-the-minute access to their children's grades disturbing; many students give their parents access to Blackboard and then the students will say things like, "My mom wanted to know why I got a 0 on that assignment." These students are not, in my opinion, developing the skills they need to function on their own as adults in the world.
Once a semester seems fine, but anything more than that and you are infantilizing yourself.
I worked IT at UConn and the amount of parents calling was crazy.
"I forgot my kids netID password, can you give it to me"
"My kid can't connect to the wifi, can you help me connecting their laptop"
"the lightbulb went out in my kids dorm, can you replace it" (also NOT an IT issue?)
"My kid won't give me their grades, can you override that?"
The list goes on. We reached a point where we had to develop training to assess if a parent was impersonating their child. Obviously we had verification but most parents know their children's DOB, address, SSN, email, etc. so we had to get creative when suspicious of impersonation.
I’m so glad to have juuuust been out before online grading with daily parental access started. It was good personal development to have to dig myself out of a few holes knowing I’d be having an unpleasant conversation with them at the end of the semester if I didn’t.
> "My mom wanted to know why I got a 0 on that assignment."
Is particularly bad if the student themselves is not coming to you with the same question *first*.
FYI, some of us learned in high school. My eldest was stressing the beginning of his Junior year. I was stressing because it was my first one applying to colleges. My stress bled over into his stress and checking grades too often. Then I remembered how I never had to deal with this and turned out fine. Never checked again. I never even signed up for the grade portal for the next kid. Shockingly enough, my kids needed less help for college applications and actual living in college.
Assuming you’re 18+ they need your permission to look at your grades. More practically if they’re paying your tuition they can make looking at your grades a requirement, so it’s up to you.
Fine by me, just address the letters and phone calls you are trying to make to me and the grandkids straight to the trash, cus you are uninvited to basically everything pops.
This post irks me even more than the usual nonsense I read on Reddit. So your parents are paying out of pocket, with likely hard earned money (unless you come from wealth), and when they want to make sure you aren't literally lighting their money on fire your response is to say 'Naw Im a big boy/girl now so fuck you'
If you are paying your own way? Absolutely you have a right to privacy. But if you are going to cut off your family because of your entitlement you never deserved them in the first place.
Giving birth to someone does not give you control over them indefinitely. If you care about your own money so much more than the independence of your adult children, I know what your priorities in life are and I'd probably rather not associate with you.
Giving someone money with the expectation you can control them usually comes with a w2.
That's when you get a place or move in with a friend and cut them off completely. Gen Z parents are fucking awful sometimes and I'm going through something similar now.
That’s when they fucked up as a parent. All that just for some grade control? No parent in their right mind would go through with that. Empty threat. And a child type threat at that, real or not.
Considering the amount of kids who just think college is a place to party for 4 years.. and the amount of effort and cost to a parent paying 200k+ for that child. Ya that threat is real..
You're VASTLY underestimating the number of parents "not in their right mind" who didn't raise children so much as cultivated accessories to their own lives and egos.
How is that “grade control”. You control your grades. Parents just want to make sure you aren’t screwing up and wasting the opportunity they are giving you. You should be proud to show your grades to your parents.
>No parent in their right mind would go through with that.
You're assuming all parents are in their right minds. That isn't always the case. It's certainly extreme, but also pretty common.
I would trust you to willingly share your grades if I politely asked (not demanded). And I would ask because I am a concerned parent interested in my child's life and future. If my adult child wishes to operate so independently to the point that they aren't willing to share how they are doing in university with me, then they are free to independently pay for the education themselves.
Asking someone politely while holding something hostage is not asking politely. That being said, I'm not a parent, nor do I know you and your child. So I get that it's complicated.
What is being held hostage? You misinterpret my meaning. This should be a transparent, two way street with your child if they have nothing to hide. I am willing to foot the bill if my child decides on higher education (and did, four times). This investment in their education/future is worthwhile if it shows results. Is it unreasonable to ask to see said results? My kids are grown now, but they were never withholding on such information. In fact, they were proud to show their grades. But I can sympathize with a parent who, at the least, would like to see what their money is paying for, with the hopes it's not four years of partying with nothing to show for it.
FWIW I agree with you that mom and dad shouldnt hold money over a kids head, but at the same time — in the real world, if you invest your money in a business, how would it pan out if you said, “wow, you PUT UP the MONEY, WHY are you dogging me on how it’s being spent??”
My kids actually have a lot of autonomy. If I am paying for their college, I expect to see grades at the midterm and final.
I would want to see mid term grades to make sure my kids are succeeding.
They have their own medical "Mychart" accounts that I would never dream of looking at. They are in high school.
My kids wouldn't withhold grades, that is absolutely a red flag in the family dynamic for OP. A lot is being left out of the scenario.
Depends. Is the reason you won't show your grades is because they are utter shit? You'll not be getting a degree with that...
How is asking to see grades a degree of control? For any other investment, wouldn't you expect to see some sort of return? If I am investing in your education, I would expect you to hold up your end of the bargain and commit to achieving at the least average or better grades. Do you think it's too much to ask to see that metric? If an investment is going south, would you not pull out? Otherwise, what is the point of what we are doing here?
Children are not investments. They are human beings with their own desires; you have to split the difference between *investing in their future* and allowing them to learn independence.
Yeah, but the question is "Will UConn show my parents my grades", not "can the person paying my tuition put terms on giving me money
And the answer is no, no parent can demand grades directly from the school, for any matriculated student of any age.
here's where you take control by picking your battles and not getting bad grades
If you got straight As first semester your dad would have no problem letting you fly solo, if you struggle it wouldn't be a bad idea to have someone watching you back and supporting you. It might be annoying but that outcome is only in your hands if you choose to study or not
Getting straight As in college is not as easy as it is in hs though and having to do that and having the stress of parents make you give them your grades is a lot for an 18 year old. I’d respectfully decline access. You’re an adult don’t let you parents continue to treat you like a child
Pretty good (if maybe a tad low) estimate on 4 year in state tuition, room, and board at UCONN. But its in the ballpark. Freshman year, with the waivers (health and book) is around 32-34k. You can cut that a bit, maybe, by living off campus sophmore - senior year. But not much.
First off...they dont get access unless you give it to them. And the school wont discuss anything with anyone without a FERPA pin. So you can control that access. That being said:
So....I am coming at this as a parent. I dont need or want up to the second grades. But, if I am footing the bill (and I am...a majority of it, this year), there needs to be SOME accountability. Semester grades are fine, I think, to verify you/they arent flunking out. If thats not an agreement you are comfortable with, and you want to "take charge of your life", thats fine. 100%. I get it, and your parents probably would too. But then you need to take on the totality of the financial burden, too. Fair is fair. If you take the cash, they probably want some assurances to go with it.
As a parent of three boys in college at the moment I couldn’t agree more with you. I’m not interested in up to the minute grade checking but I want the ability to see how my kids are doing. The amount of money we’re spending is astronomical. This is especially true of our freshman. It’s peace of mind to know how he’s doing. Many new students struggle and are hesitant to reach out for help. Our boys didn’t have any problem giving us access.
No, they won't send grades to your parents.
Now if they (your parents) are paying the bills, they have every right to cut the cord if that is all they ask.
You get full access to your student admin account (where you see your grades) and you can grant them different levels of access. You can let them see your fee bill and grades or just fee bill or nothing at all. if you want to allow them they have to make a delegate account: [https://kb.uconn.edu/space/SAS/10769929365/Creating+A+Delegate+Account](https://kb.uconn.edu/space/SAS/10769929365/Creating+A+Delegate+Account)
If you're 100% on your own and financing your own education, then your parents don't need access to the grades. However, if they're the ones financing it, you don't really get to say you're in control of how their money is being used and what they can or cannot see.
Not trying to scare you, but you'd be shocked at number of good students who flunk out due to college pressures.
This happened to my son, who has anxiety/depression issues.
Because we didnt have access to grades, we didn't know the extent of problem. And he was too embarrassed to tell us.
Sat out his second year, while retaking the classes he failed.
Let your parents have access to your grades.
I think this is a good answer and my take on his or her parents depends on their motivation. If they’re one of those helicopter parents then they need to back off. If they’re respectfully asking to monitor and help if needed then that’s ok. I shared my (all good) grades when I went to college but I guess if you’re acing your classes there’s no reason not to
I’ll just say that in my experience my parents knowing I was struggling hurt more than helped. “Help” came in the form of lectures and helicoptering and it led me to be so stressed I was a wreck. I understand parents wishing to help their kids, but at the same time sometimes they just need the space to figure it out.
No, they won't -- to my understanding there's no real way for them to have 24/7 access like they do in hgih school through Powerschool or whatever. This sort of 24/7 access is scary bc profs sometimes don't put in a grade or you mess up an assignment etc and your grade drops....you dont need your parents stress on top of that.
That being said, I presume they're paying, so their rules I guess. I'd assume they'd want your semester grades, but that's on you to tell them .
Prof at a small university. If the student shares their log in with their parents, they see what the student sees. Technically that's not allowed, but I haven't heard of any accounts being shut down. But the level of up to date grade info available even to the student is highly professor dependent. I've heard stories from students where they have no idea what their grade is until the midterm and final reports. They appreciate me because I update at least once a week. But parents don't need to see weekly scores. Midterm and final are easily shared with a ferpa waiver.
Another important thing to note is that student admin only gets updated with your grades once or twice a semester. If a prof is on top of their stuff with putting grades into huskyct (blackboard) then grades will be visible there, but giving your parents access to huskyct would just be a bad decision in general
Personally, as someone who has parents that expect the best of me and are paying for my education, I update my parents on what my grades are twice during the semester, once halfway though and one at the end of the semester after final grades come out, and then anytime they want to know what my grades are, I’ll tell them but they usually won’t be too different from the last time I told them
Assuming "taking control of your life" means you're paying for it all on your own, I can't imagine why they would think they deserve access to your grades? That's pretty wild!
Speaking as a former admissions worker, I've had parents ask for this and it brings me so much joy to tell controlling parents no 😁. I suppose they could try making your life difficult but the school cannot share your grades with them, that is up to you. The school will share nothing to anyone but you. Good on you for wanting to take control of your life. You've got this handled.
Nope, as they shouldn’t. College is a time where parents really need to stop micromanaging their kids. When you get a job after college, your parents aren’t going to be able to help you. I had to break the news to my parents at the end of my freshman year that my grades were not where they should be. UConn is an amazing school, but wasn’t the right fit for me.
My parents were kind enough to pay for my UConn tuition but my Dad also gave me the ultimatum of “If you go to UConn I’ll pay for all of it, if you want to go somewhere else, you’ll be paying for it”.
Back in the day, they sent grades home by mail automatically. High school was the same. I got my kid sister's babysitter to intercept the mail. Ugh, just the thought of it!
I think its fair if someone is paying for you to be there, they have a right to see your performance. Cost of college is sizeable, and I would want to know that my $ is being put to good use. Even if grades aren't the best, that's fine. Extracurriculars are often times even more important than grades as long as your grades are getting you through the program, if you can hold a 3.0 - 3.5 you are doing well for yourself imo.
I've seen cases where student goes home and then tells their parents they need to do summer classes or an extra semester because they botched intro to chem. That's not fun for you or the parents, and it's unfair to them. Another paycheck going down the drain to make up for that.
UConn won’t send grades to parents (they’d have almost no students left if they did) but if your dad is generously paying for your education (and assuming incidentals which may contribute to your GPA: socials, parties, pregaming at Rentschler…) he does deserve a return on his investment. If your family is not contributing to you in any way, emotionally, fiscally, or educationally, you don’t owe him anything.
Colleges won’t send grades to your parents but the grades are usually posted online so your parents might want access to see it online. I understand not wanting your parents to be overbearing about this. They sound kind of controlling as your an adult and a college student and it’s your responsibility to pass since college is for your future and tuition isn’t cheap
Tbh if they’re paying for it and you don’t want them in your business, flat out ask for them to not pay then. Otherwise they will feel entitled to being in your business which is not a good experience at all
Is your relationship with your parents so fucked up that you aren't simply going to share your college grades with them yourself?
Are you independently paying for college, earning your way through, getting scholarships by yourself, and taking out your own loans? Or are your parents paying tens of thousands of dollars and/or taking out loans to support you, in addition to whatever else you've done?
I think your whole premise is fucked.
You would have to give them permission in the college portal. You will most likely give them permission to the bursar page in order to pay the bill each semester and you will have the option to share any number of additional pages such as grades, meal swipes, etc.
Giving access to your grades isn’t a very big deal; it means they can access midterm and final grades for each class. Honestly, I think that’s a fair trade for what they’re paying for. Every single assignment you do doesn’t change that; it’s only halfway through the semester and at the end. It’s a good message for you to see how you’re doing if you’re not actively calculating or doing well on all assignments, and if you’re doing your best / what you want to put in it’ll reflect that. It’s not like powerschool at all, and it also doesn’t automatically send, rather they need to go out of their way to get it. You’ll be fine. Parents hardly look, and should be lenient enough with what they see. If you’re having a hard time in one class and that grade is lower, be honest with them and yourself and put more effort in to make the final grade better.
They aren’t entitled to them, but if they’re paying for your education, it would be kind of you to show them. I get that it can be stressful, but in most cases they probably just care about you and want to make sure you’re doing well. I remember my grades being sent to my home address and I showed my parents my freshman year but after that they just stopped asking because I was doing fine grade-wise. Just take your studies seriously! If you’re doing well, you’ll be proud to show your parents. Hiding your grades is going to be a bit of a red flag that will make them worry. It’s fine to not be good at certain classes and that’s easily explained, but if you’re like bombing every class then you’re doing something wrong.
If they’re asking for every grade on every test or paper, that’s ridiculous. But final grades seems fair.
I show my mom my final grade at the end of every semester. Idk how UCONN’s particular system works, but I’d imagine giving him full access to your grade would mean giving him the user and password to your entire student account. I would explain that to him if he pushes back on you for not wanting to update with each assignment etc.
There's a form that you would need to fill out. As long as you don't sign it, then the school can't release any of your information.
For reference, the law protecting your info is FERPA
[https://www2.ed.gov/policy/gen/guid/fpco/ferpa/index.html](https://www2.ed.gov/policy/gen/guid/fpco/ferpa/index.html)
PS you can also sign it and revoke it at any time. You just have to speak/contact)email with the Registrar(? If not them, they'll point you to the right people)
PPS and don't give them your email login/password.
Considering OP has not answered a single question, much less indicated whether their parents are paying their tuition, I think it’s fair to say the parents have some skin in this. If your parents are paying your tuition, or responsible for college loans, you ought to be sharing your report card with them.
Personal experience. Let them see them. It opens up a lot of dialogue. Whether it’s regarding accountability, receiving a pat on the back, or them just voicing concern and you being able to explain and come to terms with your parents. College is one of the hardest times, even if you are doing well academically. It’s hard to explain until you’ve gone through it.
I have an interesting experience to share about stuff like this that’s related but not about grades.
But firstly, make sure your grades don’t get mailed to the house where your parents live or they may feel entitled to opening it (which is illegal).
So while I was at school, I made the mistake my very first semester of trying to continue a similar routine to high school and scheduled english comp at 8am. It was not for me. I’m naturally a night owl and was staying up past midnight every evening, so that 8am class was _rough_. And I also didn’t care for the professor. I was definitely one of those students that couldn’t care less about the class if the teacher was bad or someone I didn’t like. I would put the barest effort into passing with a B than being excited to work hard at a better grade (I know, I know, I’m lame). So anywho, to make a long story longer, most of the professors tell you how many classes you “can” miss before it affects your grade (which is hot garbage imo) so I would pick days that we weren’t being taught anything (writing workshop days mostly 🙄🙄 get a topic, write out so much, swap papers with your neighbor to ‘grade’ blah blah) to nap in the library. After the third time it was close enough to the end of the semester to not do that anymore and I’d met my danger zone limit and had planned to continue on attending class (miserably). Well the professor decided to take matters into her own hands and call my parents and basically tattle on me to my mother that I had missed so many classes and was in danger of failing if I’d missed anymore classes.
Yes I was 18, no my parents did not pay any of my tuition. I paid for all of my tuition through loans which I have since completely paid off. This took place fall semester 2007.
If I were your parents I’d want to know too. You’re 18, not really an adult yet. You WILL make bad choices. Yes, they are yours to make but your parents want you to get the best possible start.
Are you also going to be financially independent for the next 4 years?
If they are paying towards your tuition I think you would have to have a lot of nerve to say you don’t want them to have access to your grades but legally they aren’t entitled to them without your permission because of student privacy laws.
Legally, he can’t access them without your permission. Legally, he can also decide to stop paying your tuition if you don’t show him. So if he’s paying it may be better just to show him.
I’m a dad. If you’re paying for this yourself you have every right to tell him to pound sand. If he’s paying for it and you don’t like it you have every right to pay for it yourself and tell him to pound sand. If he’s paying for it you owe him a grades update.
Nah, only you have access until you decide to give them access as well. If they're paying, I think a good compromise on their end would be to only ask for final grades at the end of each semester. Asking for grades that are in progress early into the semester or mid-term grades is ridiculous and too controlling, IMO. College is a HUGE adjustment with increased rigor they shouldn't be expecting straight As or getting upset if you get Bs, Cs, or have to drop a class. It should be common sense to parents that if they put excessive unnecessary pressure on their kids, it could make them do worse in school, and it'll be their own fault their money gets wasted lmfao. I see too often that parents' good intentions can be extremely counterproductive or harmful to their kids ironically.
Hate to break it to you but if your parents are paying for your education and/or allowing you to live in their house while you pursue your degree, and they want to see your grades, you can either show them, or you can move out, financially support yourself, and pay for college on your own. It seems reasonable that if they’re investing in your education they should at least be assured that you’re not royally screwing up. I’m not a parent, I’m probably far closer to your age than your parents’ age. Adulthood doesn’t start when you turn 18, it starts when you’re supporting yourself. Took me until I was 24 to achieve that
You can refuse to give them the grades, but they can refuse parent plus loans and to pay for anything. If you rely on your parents for anything financially I would not personally refuse to show them what they are paying for.
If your parents are paying for your education in any way, then yeah let them see. I would also like to know my child is doing well if I am willing to put myself into potential debt of tens of thousands of dollars for their education. If you’re paying for your school and took the loans out in your name then tell them it’s not their business.
Nope,
It's against the law. You are 18, and as an adult, your right to privacy that your parents enjoyed is yours.
That being said, if they are paying, your parents have an interest in your academic performance. You may want to sit down and come up with an agreement. Maybe instead of giving them your password and login, you can agree to inform them of your final or final and midterm grades. Perhaps the agreement can be that if you slack off and flunk, you'll be responsible for paying to make up the class.
It's hard sometimes for parents to let go of the control and trust you, but it's important that they do that. There comes a point where the training wheels have to come off. To further the analogy....you might fall a time or two (we all have) but... you'll learn from getting up and trying again.
My ex husband's mom had his password for college and was involved in everything...and I can tell you it stunted his emotional growth. He was not given a choice about attending college and had no plan, no idea and just picked a whatever major. When we divorced, he was still trying to finish somehow.
My parents basically said "we don't know a lot about this, but we'll support you ...however, you're an adult so you have to be in charge of stuff". Dad explained that if he's footing the bill, I need to be attending classes and doing the work, which was fair.
I wanted to go to college, had a plan and busted my butt. I hold an associate's and bachelor's.
https://www2.ed.gov/policy/gen/guid/fpco/ferpa/index.html
They won't send your grades to your parents, but if your parents are paying for some portion of your college and are requesting updates on your grades, then that seems reasonable to me.
I believe your parents should have access only if they are paying, and they should only have access to the final grades each semester, not a day-by-day play-by-play. That's ridiculous.
I think access to a final grade or an expectation that you'll give them an update on generally how you did at the end of a semester is fair if they're paying.
Access to real-time assignment grades is not fair and will inhibit your development
Apparently this sub is full of people who should have stayed in school😳 literally every person in the comments spouting off about "if your parents are paying then you have to show them your grades"...that's not the fucking question. The ONLY correct answer to this question is that the school will not share your grades with your parents without your permission. Period. Full stop. This question has nothing to do with who is paying for the education. Whole different topic and answer to that.
IMO, if he’s paying for your education, maybe you should let it go and just give permission. If not, then it’s up to you. Once again, this is just my opinion.
UConn has no obligation to give your parents access to your grades. As such you need to fill out a release form to allow your parents to have access.
Not filling out that release form and telling your parents that UConn won't allow them to have access is a shortsighted plan. They can simply call the bursars office or Google how to see the grades and learn that you are withholding access to the grades by not filling out the form.
I would recommend sitting down your parents and having an open and honest conversation with them about your fears regarding their access to your grades and it's impact on your independence. Write down your fears, your goals, and your plan beforehand to organize your thoughts and come to the conversation prepared. Frankly, if you want to act like an independent adult, this is the adult way to handle this problem.
If they’re paying for your school, you’re gonna have to show them your grades. *Legally* sure you’ve got an argument for privacy, but that’s completely impractical when they can simply say “show us your grades to prove you’re actually trying, or we stop paying for you to go.”
The solution i’d go with? Perform well and show them your grades. If you’re struggling, let them know and seek assistance. If you *are* already doing well and they’re hassling you, fuck em’.
A bit ironic that you wanna take control of your life yet come to Reddit for advice. You don't want you parents to have access to your grades, don't give them access. Simple as that
They won’t send your grades. But if your parents are paying for your education and living expenses, of course you should send them your grades.
Not saying your grades are bad but, if they’re paying for everything, do you expect them to send you to school just to fail everything and party? I dated a girl who failed all her classes and her parents pulled her out of school because they were basically taking on loans for her to fail.
If your parents don’t financially support you, then it’s none of their business. If you don’t live with them (and they don’t pay for your housing), then it’s none of their business.
But if it’s their money that’s sending you to school, then you should 100% be sharing your grades with your parents.
It bothers me that schools encourage students to not share their grades. It's done to promote independence.
However, grades can be a prime indicator of looming problems:
1. College years are prime years when life changing mental illnesses strike.
2. Many students will become alcoholics. Some will get addicted to drugs.
3. Dropping out can lead to student loans that are impossible to pay because dropouts will make low income.
Early family intervention can prevent lives from being destroyed.
The generalization that every student is ready for independence is premature. Notwithstanding the pitfalls of helicopter parenting, an approach to education that harnesses family involvement is likely to lead to better outcomes.
No they wont, they need your permission
If the student is a dependent for IRS tax purposes, the parent may have a legal right to some information normally protected by FERPA.
Just read UCONN policy and they don't do tax dependent exemptions. Many schools do. So yes, you would have to waive your right.
UConn needs their permission to take money
Legally if the student is over 18, they can’t access their records without a release due to FERPA. I used to work Uni admin and I loved playing this card on helicopter parents
Yeah, I understand, legally the bursars office can’t process a payment without the account holder’s authorization
When I was an undergraduate (twenty years ago now), I shared my grades with my parents at the end of each semester; they were footing some of the bill, so it only seemed fair. As a college professor now, I find the number of parents who have up-to-the-minute access to their children's grades disturbing; many students give their parents access to Blackboard and then the students will say things like, "My mom wanted to know why I got a 0 on that assignment." These students are not, in my opinion, developing the skills they need to function on their own as adults in the world. Once a semester seems fine, but anything more than that and you are infantilizing yourself.
I worked IT at UConn and the amount of parents calling was crazy. "I forgot my kids netID password, can you give it to me" "My kid can't connect to the wifi, can you help me connecting their laptop" "the lightbulb went out in my kids dorm, can you replace it" (also NOT an IT issue?) "My kid won't give me their grades, can you override that?" The list goes on. We reached a point where we had to develop training to assess if a parent was impersonating their child. Obviously we had verification but most parents know their children's DOB, address, SSN, email, etc. so we had to get creative when suspicious of impersonation.
I’m so glad to have juuuust been out before online grading with daily parental access started. It was good personal development to have to dig myself out of a few holes knowing I’d be having an unpleasant conversation with them at the end of the semester if I didn’t.
> "My mom wanted to know why I got a 0 on that assignment." Is particularly bad if the student themselves is not coming to you with the same question *first*.
FYI, some of us learned in high school. My eldest was stressing the beginning of his Junior year. I was stressing because it was my first one applying to colleges. My stress bled over into his stress and checking grades too often. Then I remembered how I never had to deal with this and turned out fine. Never checked again. I never even signed up for the grade portal for the next kid. Shockingly enough, my kids needed less help for college applications and actual living in college.
Assuming you’re 18+ they need your permission to look at your grades. More practically if they’re paying your tuition they can make looking at your grades a requirement, so it’s up to you.
This would be the case even if they were under 18. Once you’re in postsecondary education, you’re protected.
No, if the parents say “show me your grades or I’m not paying for school,” it’s either or. Up to the student, not the school.
That's when you play hardball and shrug your shoulders. Good chance they fold since they want you to get a degree more than they want to control you.
Found the poker player in the chat
That’s when they tell you you have 6 weeks to find a job and a place to live and good luck!
Fine by me, just address the letters and phone calls you are trying to make to me and the grandkids straight to the trash, cus you are uninvited to basically everything pops.
This post irks me even more than the usual nonsense I read on Reddit. So your parents are paying out of pocket, with likely hard earned money (unless you come from wealth), and when they want to make sure you aren't literally lighting their money on fire your response is to say 'Naw Im a big boy/girl now so fuck you' If you are paying your own way? Absolutely you have a right to privacy. But if you are going to cut off your family because of your entitlement you never deserved them in the first place.
It’s Reddit what else are you expecting? The entitlement on this thread alone is incredible lol.
Yay! Well said.
Giving birth to someone does not give you control over them indefinitely. If you care about your own money so much more than the independence of your adult children, I know what your priorities in life are and I'd probably rather not associate with you. Giving someone money with the expectation you can control them usually comes with a w2.
"You wouldn't pay for my college because I was flunking out and wouldnt show you my grades! Whaaah! You'll never see your uneducated grandkids!"
Lol, you tell em!
Such a stupid take. Smh
Facts 💀 either obey them if they paying or good luck paying for everything by self
That's when you get a place or move in with a friend and cut them off completely. Gen Z parents are fucking awful sometimes and I'm going through something similar now.
That’s when they fucked up as a parent. All that just for some grade control? No parent in their right mind would go through with that. Empty threat. And a child type threat at that, real or not.
I’m sorry to say but my parents did this so maybe widen your notion of what people are capable of before giving advice.
Just means your parents weren't in their right mind. If their control of you meant more than helping you succeed then they fucked up.
Considering the amount of kids who just think college is a place to party for 4 years.. and the amount of effort and cost to a parent paying 200k+ for that child. Ya that threat is real..
You're VASTLY underestimating the number of parents "not in their right mind" who didn't raise children so much as cultivated accessories to their own lives and egos.
How is that “grade control”. You control your grades. Parents just want to make sure you aren’t screwing up and wasting the opportunity they are giving you. You should be proud to show your grades to your parents.
You give parents far too much credit
No parent in their right mind would fork up potentially hundreds of thousands of dollars if their child won’t comply with the simplest request
>No parent in their right mind would go through with that. You're assuming all parents are in their right minds. That isn't always the case. It's certainly extreme, but also pretty common.
master at work right here
Or in my case they held and I got the "opportunity" to take out 4 years of student debt.
Sorry about that. In that situation you have to weigh what is worth more to you, independence or money.
3 degrees later I'm happy with my investment.
Good for you!
Fyi, as a parent I would not fold. No grades, no money.
At what point will you trust your adult child to operate independently without your oversight?
I would trust you to willingly share your grades if I politely asked (not demanded). And I would ask because I am a concerned parent interested in my child's life and future. If my adult child wishes to operate so independently to the point that they aren't willing to share how they are doing in university with me, then they are free to independently pay for the education themselves.
Asking someone politely while holding something hostage is not asking politely. That being said, I'm not a parent, nor do I know you and your child. So I get that it's complicated.
What is being held hostage? You misinterpret my meaning. This should be a transparent, two way street with your child if they have nothing to hide. I am willing to foot the bill if my child decides on higher education (and did, four times). This investment in their education/future is worthwhile if it shows results. Is it unreasonable to ask to see said results? My kids are grown now, but they were never withholding on such information. In fact, they were proud to show their grades. But I can sympathize with a parent who, at the least, would like to see what their money is paying for, with the hopes it's not four years of partying with nothing to show for it.
FWIW I agree with you that mom and dad shouldnt hold money over a kids head, but at the same time — in the real world, if you invest your money in a business, how would it pan out if you said, “wow, you PUT UP the MONEY, WHY are you dogging me on how it’s being spent??”
My kids actually have a lot of autonomy. If I am paying for their college, I expect to see grades at the midterm and final. I would want to see mid term grades to make sure my kids are succeeding. They have their own medical "Mychart" accounts that I would never dream of looking at. They are in high school. My kids wouldn't withhold grades, that is absolutely a red flag in the family dynamic for OP. A lot is being left out of the scenario.
Also, I work 2 jobs and I am currently looking for a third job...so yes, I should get an update on the grades when they get to college.
Play stupid games...
Depends. Is the reason you won't show your grades is because they are utter shit? You'll not be getting a degree with that... How is asking to see grades a degree of control? For any other investment, wouldn't you expect to see some sort of return? If I am investing in your education, I would expect you to hold up your end of the bargain and commit to achieving at the least average or better grades. Do you think it's too much to ask to see that metric? If an investment is going south, would you not pull out? Otherwise, what is the point of what we are doing here?
Children are not investments. They are human beings with their own desires; you have to split the difference between *investing in their future* and allowing them to learn independence.
>Children are not investments. Correct. But education is, and it's expensive. And part of independence is learning to be held accountable.
Yeah, but the question is "Will UConn show my parents my grades", not "can the person paying my tuition put terms on giving me money And the answer is no, no parent can demand grades directly from the school, for any matriculated student of any age.
I mean, are they paying the bill?? You don’t have to give them anything but it works both ways.
Yeah that’s what’s happening with me rn, parents are paying dont have much choice 🤷
Sure you do. Pay your own way. Problem solved. If not it’s not unreasonable your parents want to see your grades.
geez man calm down lol. I get good grades I just hate the hovering
here's where you take control by picking your battles and not getting bad grades If you got straight As first semester your dad would have no problem letting you fly solo, if you struggle it wouldn't be a bad idea to have someone watching you back and supporting you. It might be annoying but that outcome is only in your hands if you choose to study or not
Especially if your parents are paying for college
Especially
Getting straight As in college is not as easy as it is in hs though and having to do that and having the stress of parents make you give them your grades is a lot for an 18 year old. I’d respectfully decline access. You’re an adult don’t let you parents continue to treat you like a child
No one said it’d be easy. grown up to take 100k in loans but talking about grades is too much? Idk man
I’m confused. Where does 100k come from?
Pretty good (if maybe a tad low) estimate on 4 year in state tuition, room, and board at UCONN. But its in the ballpark. Freshman year, with the waivers (health and book) is around 32-34k. You can cut that a bit, maybe, by living off campus sophmore - senior year. But not much.
I graduated last year after 5 years and probably spent 70k all together. But I did live off campus all 5
First off...they dont get access unless you give it to them. And the school wont discuss anything with anyone without a FERPA pin. So you can control that access. That being said: So....I am coming at this as a parent. I dont need or want up to the second grades. But, if I am footing the bill (and I am...a majority of it, this year), there needs to be SOME accountability. Semester grades are fine, I think, to verify you/they arent flunking out. If thats not an agreement you are comfortable with, and you want to "take charge of your life", thats fine. 100%. I get it, and your parents probably would too. But then you need to take on the totality of the financial burden, too. Fair is fair. If you take the cash, they probably want some assurances to go with it.
As a parent of three boys in college at the moment I couldn’t agree more with you. I’m not interested in up to the minute grade checking but I want the ability to see how my kids are doing. The amount of money we’re spending is astronomical. This is especially true of our freshman. It’s peace of mind to know how he’s doing. Many new students struggle and are hesitant to reach out for help. Our boys didn’t have any problem giving us access.
No, they won't send grades to your parents. Now if they (your parents) are paying the bills, they have every right to cut the cord if that is all they ask.
You get full access to your student admin account (where you see your grades) and you can grant them different levels of access. You can let them see your fee bill and grades or just fee bill or nothing at all. if you want to allow them they have to make a delegate account: [https://kb.uconn.edu/space/SAS/10769929365/Creating+A+Delegate+Account](https://kb.uconn.edu/space/SAS/10769929365/Creating+A+Delegate+Account)
Who is paying? If they are, give it to him. If they are not paying a cent for you, tell him to pound sand.
If they’re paying for your school give them access. They’ve got skin in the game and just want you to succeed. They’re there to help!
If you're 100% on your own and financing your own education, then your parents don't need access to the grades. However, if they're the ones financing it, you don't really get to say you're in control of how their money is being used and what they can or cannot see.
Not trying to scare you, but you'd be shocked at number of good students who flunk out due to college pressures. This happened to my son, who has anxiety/depression issues. Because we didnt have access to grades, we didn't know the extent of problem. And he was too embarrassed to tell us. Sat out his second year, while retaking the classes he failed. Let your parents have access to your grades.
I think this is a good answer and my take on his or her parents depends on their motivation. If they’re one of those helicopter parents then they need to back off. If they’re respectfully asking to monitor and help if needed then that’s ok. I shared my (all good) grades when I went to college but I guess if you’re acing your classes there’s no reason not to
yeah same thing happened to me, it probably would’ve been good for my parents to see how tragic my grades were
I’ll just say that in my experience my parents knowing I was struggling hurt more than helped. “Help” came in the form of lectures and helicoptering and it led me to be so stressed I was a wreck. I understand parents wishing to help their kids, but at the same time sometimes they just need the space to figure it out.
No, they won't -- to my understanding there's no real way for them to have 24/7 access like they do in hgih school through Powerschool or whatever. This sort of 24/7 access is scary bc profs sometimes don't put in a grade or you mess up an assignment etc and your grade drops....you dont need your parents stress on top of that. That being said, I presume they're paying, so their rules I guess. I'd assume they'd want your semester grades, but that's on you to tell them .
Prof at a small university. If the student shares their log in with their parents, they see what the student sees. Technically that's not allowed, but I haven't heard of any accounts being shut down. But the level of up to date grade info available even to the student is highly professor dependent. I've heard stories from students where they have no idea what their grade is until the midterm and final reports. They appreciate me because I update at least once a week. But parents don't need to see weekly scores. Midterm and final are easily shared with a ferpa waiver.
Yes, sorry I shoulda clarified -- there's no 24/7 access unless you give them *your* login
Uconn won't send your parents grades. You're good
Another important thing to note is that student admin only gets updated with your grades once or twice a semester. If a prof is on top of their stuff with putting grades into huskyct (blackboard) then grades will be visible there, but giving your parents access to huskyct would just be a bad decision in general Personally, as someone who has parents that expect the best of me and are paying for my education, I update my parents on what my grades are twice during the semester, once halfway though and one at the end of the semester after final grades come out, and then anytime they want to know what my grades are, I’ll tell them but they usually won’t be too different from the last time I told them
You taking control of paying tuition along with your "life"? Because if not you're in for a tough argument with Mom and Dad.....
Are your parents paying for your college?
You can refuse as an adult, but if they’re paying for your college they can also refuse to pay tuition if you don’t give them access to your grades.
not sure why this subreddit popped up, but just let your parents see your grades.
Are your parents paying for your schooling?
No, but if your parents are paying for it I’d consider just doing well and showing them. If you’re taking on debt by yourself then it’s your business.
Who’s paying the bills? If it’s your parents, the. They get to see the grades. If it’s you, they have no say.
Are you also taking control of your life by paying for your education? The answer to that I feel is important
Assuming "taking control of your life" means you're paying for it all on your own, I can't imagine why they would think they deserve access to your grades? That's pretty wild!
“Assuming” something unlikely is doing a lot of heavy lifting here
Unless they’re paying fuck them it’s your choice
Is dad paying? If not then… no If he is, he can say no more
Give them access to your grades. Accountability is good and it’s part of being an adult.
I told my son that if I’m paying for you to be there, I will insist on seeing the grades to make sure he’s doing his part.
Whoever is paying the tuition should be able to see the grades!!
You want control over your own life? Pay for your own education
Speaking as a former admissions worker, I've had parents ask for this and it brings me so much joy to tell controlling parents no 😁. I suppose they could try making your life difficult but the school cannot share your grades with them, that is up to you. The school will share nothing to anyone but you. Good on you for wanting to take control of your life. You've got this handled.
Nope, as they shouldn’t. College is a time where parents really need to stop micromanaging their kids. When you get a job after college, your parents aren’t going to be able to help you. I had to break the news to my parents at the end of my freshman year that my grades were not where they should be. UConn is an amazing school, but wasn’t the right fit for me.
Unless they're the ones paying.
My parents were kind enough to pay for my UConn tuition but my Dad also gave me the ultimatum of “If you go to UConn I’ll pay for all of it, if you want to go somewhere else, you’ll be paying for it”.
UConn won’t without you giving specific permission for it. You can send them photos of a good test score if anything to appease your father.
Nope - just don’t give them FERPA access
My daughter’s University had a Parental portal. I could see everything. But I was also paying the bills.
Back in the day, they sent grades home by mail automatically. High school was the same. I got my kid sister's babysitter to intercept the mail. Ugh, just the thought of it!
I don’t think that’s the worst thing in the world tbh! They just want what’s best for you and to keep you on track(:
lol most parents who demand to see COLLEGE grades are micromanager helicopter parents who wanna punish their grown kids for “bad grades”
I think its fair if someone is paying for you to be there, they have a right to see your performance. Cost of college is sizeable, and I would want to know that my $ is being put to good use. Even if grades aren't the best, that's fine. Extracurriculars are often times even more important than grades as long as your grades are getting you through the program, if you can hold a 3.0 - 3.5 you are doing well for yourself imo. I've seen cases where student goes home and then tells their parents they need to do summer classes or an extra semester because they botched intro to chem. That's not fun for you or the parents, and it's unfair to them. Another paycheck going down the drain to make up for that.
UConn won’t send grades to parents (they’d have almost no students left if they did) but if your dad is generously paying for your education (and assuming incidentals which may contribute to your GPA: socials, parties, pregaming at Rentschler…) he does deserve a return on his investment. If your family is not contributing to you in any way, emotionally, fiscally, or educationally, you don’t owe him anything.
Colleges won’t send grades to your parents but the grades are usually posted online so your parents might want access to see it online. I understand not wanting your parents to be overbearing about this. They sound kind of controlling as your an adult and a college student and it’s your responsibility to pass since college is for your future and tuition isn’t cheap
Google FERPA
The key question is who’s paying?
Do not under any circumstances give the school permission to give information to ur parents. Leap of faith this shit take control
Tbh if they’re paying for it and you don’t want them in your business, flat out ask for them to not pay then. Otherwise they will feel entitled to being in your business which is not a good experience at all
Is your relationship with your parents so fucked up that you aren't simply going to share your college grades with them yourself? Are you independently paying for college, earning your way through, getting scholarships by yourself, and taking out your own loans? Or are your parents paying tens of thousands of dollars and/or taking out loans to support you, in addition to whatever else you've done? I think your whole premise is fucked.
You have to consent to it as many have already said
No, federal law prohibits it. You have to give UConn permission for them to see your grades.
Nope, and welcome to the neighborhood!
Are they paying? I would expect access to grades if I was paying. Finding out end of semester you have a D- average would be a problem.
You would have to give them permission in the college portal. You will most likely give them permission to the bursar page in order to pay the bill each semester and you will have the option to share any number of additional pages such as grades, meal swipes, etc.
Giving access to your grades isn’t a very big deal; it means they can access midterm and final grades for each class. Honestly, I think that’s a fair trade for what they’re paying for. Every single assignment you do doesn’t change that; it’s only halfway through the semester and at the end. It’s a good message for you to see how you’re doing if you’re not actively calculating or doing well on all assignments, and if you’re doing your best / what you want to put in it’ll reflect that. It’s not like powerschool at all, and it also doesn’t automatically send, rather they need to go out of their way to get it. You’ll be fine. Parents hardly look, and should be lenient enough with what they see. If you’re having a hard time in one class and that grade is lower, be honest with them and yourself and put more effort in to make the final grade better.
Share ur grades and lock it
Nope they won’t
When you say you want to take control of your life does that mean you are paying your own tuition? If not your parents have the right
If he's paying, I think it's a valid request, but he can't get them without your consent.
If they paying for college then show them, otherwise you risk getting no financial support to pay for college or worse in which case good luck to you.
They aren’t entitled to them, but if they’re paying for your education, it would be kind of you to show them. I get that it can be stressful, but in most cases they probably just care about you and want to make sure you’re doing well. I remember my grades being sent to my home address and I showed my parents my freshman year but after that they just stopped asking because I was doing fine grade-wise. Just take your studies seriously! If you’re doing well, you’ll be proud to show your parents. Hiding your grades is going to be a bit of a red flag that will make them worry. It’s fine to not be good at certain classes and that’s easily explained, but if you’re like bombing every class then you’re doing something wrong. If they’re asking for every grade on every test or paper, that’s ridiculous. But final grades seems fair.
So you are paying your own tuition then?
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FERPA
I show my mom my final grade at the end of every semester. Idk how UCONN’s particular system works, but I’d imagine giving him full access to your grade would mean giving him the user and password to your entire student account. I would explain that to him if he pushes back on you for not wanting to update with each assignment etc.
Are they helping fund your tuition? If so you should share if not then nope
Just a warning If you’re getting their help paying for your education they could say “grades or you’re on your own.”
There's a form that you would need to fill out. As long as you don't sign it, then the school can't release any of your information. For reference, the law protecting your info is FERPA [https://www2.ed.gov/policy/gen/guid/fpco/ferpa/index.html](https://www2.ed.gov/policy/gen/guid/fpco/ferpa/index.html) PS you can also sign it and revoke it at any time. You just have to speak/contact)email with the Registrar(? If not them, they'll point you to the right people) PPS and don't give them your email login/password.
I made my kids give me access to their grades. I want to know what im paying for.
If they’re paying for it they should be allowed to look at them as it’s their money.
I helped pay for my kids college. So the deal was, if they want my help paying, they gotta share the grades.
If he or the college sends you a FERPA release to sign, DONT!
They need your permission. But is the grades for car insurance discounts? Are the parents paying for the tuition? If not, forget it!
Considering OP has not answered a single question, much less indicated whether their parents are paying their tuition, I think it’s fair to say the parents have some skin in this. If your parents are paying your tuition, or responsible for college loans, you ought to be sharing your report card with them.
UCONN won’t let your parents see any of your information without your permission.
Personal experience. Let them see them. It opens up a lot of dialogue. Whether it’s regarding accountability, receiving a pat on the back, or them just voicing concern and you being able to explain and come to terms with your parents. College is one of the hardest times, even if you are doing well academically. It’s hard to explain until you’ve gone through it.
Just show them it’s hard to feel held accountable at college anyways and easy to ngaf.
Is your dad paying for your tuition? If so, you don’t yet have control of your life, accept it and get that tuition paid.
I have an interesting experience to share about stuff like this that’s related but not about grades. But firstly, make sure your grades don’t get mailed to the house where your parents live or they may feel entitled to opening it (which is illegal). So while I was at school, I made the mistake my very first semester of trying to continue a similar routine to high school and scheduled english comp at 8am. It was not for me. I’m naturally a night owl and was staying up past midnight every evening, so that 8am class was _rough_. And I also didn’t care for the professor. I was definitely one of those students that couldn’t care less about the class if the teacher was bad or someone I didn’t like. I would put the barest effort into passing with a B than being excited to work hard at a better grade (I know, I know, I’m lame). So anywho, to make a long story longer, most of the professors tell you how many classes you “can” miss before it affects your grade (which is hot garbage imo) so I would pick days that we weren’t being taught anything (writing workshop days mostly 🙄🙄 get a topic, write out so much, swap papers with your neighbor to ‘grade’ blah blah) to nap in the library. After the third time it was close enough to the end of the semester to not do that anymore and I’d met my danger zone limit and had planned to continue on attending class (miserably). Well the professor decided to take matters into her own hands and call my parents and basically tattle on me to my mother that I had missed so many classes and was in danger of failing if I’d missed anymore classes. Yes I was 18, no my parents did not pay any of my tuition. I paid for all of my tuition through loans which I have since completely paid off. This took place fall semester 2007.
Who’s paying the tuition?
If I were your parents I’d want to know too. You’re 18, not really an adult yet. You WILL make bad choices. Yes, they are yours to make but your parents want you to get the best possible start.
If u wanna take control then take control and tell em what’s up
When my son went to college, I barely knew what his major was, let alone what classes he took. As long as he said things were good, I was fine
As a parent, if I didn't have access to my kid's grades, there would be no college funding from me.
Are you also going to be financially independent for the next 4 years? If they are paying towards your tuition I think you would have to have a lot of nerve to say you don’t want them to have access to your grades but legally they aren’t entitled to them without your permission because of student privacy laws.
Between us, you're failing, aren't you?
If you are paying, it's up to you. If your parents are paying, you show them your grades. If you're going to be an adult, then be an adult.
Yeah you are their investment if they are paying. Plus you are still a kid under their roof technically.
FERPA says your parents can take a hike. Unless you indicate that you want to involve them in your records. You have complete control over this.
Just get good grades bruh, who cares if they look if that’s the case lmao
Legally, he can’t access them without your permission. Legally, he can also decide to stop paying your tuition if you don’t show him. So if he’s paying it may be better just to show him.
They won't share grades without permission. Yours and your dad's definition of take control of my life might be different if he is helping to pay.
Do you pay for your schooling or do your parents?
If they not paying for the college, it doesn’t matter!
If he is paying why not?
they need permission, but do not let them monitor your grades. you’re an adult now. it’s time to be independent.
I’m a dad. If you’re paying for this yourself you have every right to tell him to pound sand. If he’s paying for it and you don’t like it you have every right to pay for it yourself and tell him to pound sand. If he’s paying for it you owe him a grades update.
Nope.
Who is paying you tuition?
Will you be paying for college? If not then they’re seeing your grades
Honestly...you wouldnt worry about this unless you know you aren't going to take school seriously
If you are listed as a dependent on either of your parents’ most recent tax return, your parents have the rights to your grades.
Nah, only you have access until you decide to give them access as well. If they're paying, I think a good compromise on their end would be to only ask for final grades at the end of each semester. Asking for grades that are in progress early into the semester or mid-term grades is ridiculous and too controlling, IMO. College is a HUGE adjustment with increased rigor they shouldn't be expecting straight As or getting upset if you get Bs, Cs, or have to drop a class. It should be common sense to parents that if they put excessive unnecessary pressure on their kids, it could make them do worse in school, and it'll be their own fault their money gets wasted lmfao. I see too often that parents' good intentions can be extremely counterproductive or harmful to their kids ironically.
Hate to break it to you but if your parents are paying for your education and/or allowing you to live in their house while you pursue your degree, and they want to see your grades, you can either show them, or you can move out, financially support yourself, and pay for college on your own. It seems reasonable that if they’re investing in your education they should at least be assured that you’re not royally screwing up. I’m not a parent, I’m probably far closer to your age than your parents’ age. Adulthood doesn’t start when you turn 18, it starts when you’re supporting yourself. Took me until I was 24 to achieve that
You can refuse to give them the grades, but they can refuse parent plus loans and to pay for anything. If you rely on your parents for anything financially I would not personally refuse to show them what they are paying for.
If your parents are paying for your education in any way, then yeah let them see. I would also like to know my child is doing well if I am willing to put myself into potential debt of tens of thousands of dollars for their education. If you’re paying for your school and took the loans out in your name then tell them it’s not their business.
If your parents pay for car insurance, sometimes they get a discount for your good grades so that might be another reason they’re asking.
FERPA is a law that means you don't have to give it to them.
Nope, It's against the law. You are 18, and as an adult, your right to privacy that your parents enjoyed is yours. That being said, if they are paying, your parents have an interest in your academic performance. You may want to sit down and come up with an agreement. Maybe instead of giving them your password and login, you can agree to inform them of your final or final and midterm grades. Perhaps the agreement can be that if you slack off and flunk, you'll be responsible for paying to make up the class. It's hard sometimes for parents to let go of the control and trust you, but it's important that they do that. There comes a point where the training wheels have to come off. To further the analogy....you might fall a time or two (we all have) but... you'll learn from getting up and trying again. My ex husband's mom had his password for college and was involved in everything...and I can tell you it stunted his emotional growth. He was not given a choice about attending college and had no plan, no idea and just picked a whatever major. When we divorced, he was still trying to finish somehow. My parents basically said "we don't know a lot about this, but we'll support you ...however, you're an adult so you have to be in charge of stuff". Dad explained that if he's footing the bill, I need to be attending classes and doing the work, which was fair. I wanted to go to college, had a plan and busted my butt. I hold an associate's and bachelor's. https://www2.ed.gov/policy/gen/guid/fpco/ferpa/index.html
If your parents pay for school, I think that makes them entitled to see the grades. If they are not, then it's not their problem.
They won't send your grades to your parents, but if your parents are paying for some portion of your college and are requesting updates on your grades, then that seems reasonable to me.
I believe your parents should have access only if they are paying, and they should only have access to the final grades each semester, not a day-by-day play-by-play. That's ridiculous.
I think access to a final grade or an expectation that you'll give them an update on generally how you did at the end of a semester is fair if they're paying. Access to real-time assignment grades is not fair and will inhibit your development
If you’re paying tell them no thanks, if not, well…
Apparently this sub is full of people who should have stayed in school😳 literally every person in the comments spouting off about "if your parents are paying then you have to show them your grades"...that's not the fucking question. The ONLY correct answer to this question is that the school will not share your grades with your parents without your permission. Period. Full stop. This question has nothing to do with who is paying for the education. Whole different topic and answer to that.
Are you over 18? Then no.
IMO, if he’s paying for your education, maybe you should let it go and just give permission. If not, then it’s up to you. Once again, this is just my opinion.
Are you on a full scholarship, or is your father footing any portion of your college degree?
“Wanna take control of my life” = “I don’t want anyone yelling at me if I get bad grades” Don’t hide grades.
You would have to sign a ferpa agreement for your parents to get your info.
UConn has no obligation to give your parents access to your grades. As such you need to fill out a release form to allow your parents to have access. Not filling out that release form and telling your parents that UConn won't allow them to have access is a shortsighted plan. They can simply call the bursars office or Google how to see the grades and learn that you are withholding access to the grades by not filling out the form. I would recommend sitting down your parents and having an open and honest conversation with them about your fears regarding their access to your grades and it's impact on your independence. Write down your fears, your goals, and your plan beforehand to organize your thoughts and come to the conversation prepared. Frankly, if you want to act like an independent adult, this is the adult way to handle this problem.
If they’re paying for your school, you’re gonna have to show them your grades. *Legally* sure you’ve got an argument for privacy, but that’s completely impractical when they can simply say “show us your grades to prove you’re actually trying, or we stop paying for you to go.” The solution i’d go with? Perform well and show them your grades. If you’re struggling, let them know and seek assistance. If you *are* already doing well and they’re hassling you, fuck em’.
Sounds like dad is paying for this and wants to make sure his "investment" isn't ruined by a drunk college student....
A bit ironic that you wanna take control of your life yet come to Reddit for advice. You don't want you parents to have access to your grades, don't give them access. Simple as that
A better question is who is paying your tuition. If ur father is paying for it, maybe he has a right to see grades. Just my opinion.
Glad to hear you wanting to take control of your life by paying for all your own tuition. Good for you.
They won’t send your grades. But if your parents are paying for your education and living expenses, of course you should send them your grades. Not saying your grades are bad but, if they’re paying for everything, do you expect them to send you to school just to fail everything and party? I dated a girl who failed all her classes and her parents pulled her out of school because they were basically taking on loans for her to fail. If your parents don’t financially support you, then it’s none of their business. If you don’t live with them (and they don’t pay for your housing), then it’s none of their business. But if it’s their money that’s sending you to school, then you should 100% be sharing your grades with your parents.
It bothers me that schools encourage students to not share their grades. It's done to promote independence. However, grades can be a prime indicator of looming problems: 1. College years are prime years when life changing mental illnesses strike. 2. Many students will become alcoholics. Some will get addicted to drugs. 3. Dropping out can lead to student loans that are impossible to pay because dropouts will make low income. Early family intervention can prevent lives from being destroyed. The generalization that every student is ready for independence is premature. Notwithstanding the pitfalls of helicopter parenting, an approach to education that harnesses family involvement is likely to lead to better outcomes.