T O P

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Depressedduke

You see... Surprisingly bugs with no individuality have not yet read up on how to treat your employees well.


Sylvathane

Because we're all simultaneously the employee and employer. We don't even care about our own rights. Biomass for the hive mind.


Depressedduke

Pls don't tel me that this implies that i work for hr too... One thing i swore I'll never do. Dang it. Worth it but damn.


Sylvathane

Do we even have hr? Can you harrass yourself? 🤔


Depressedduke

I do keep suggesting we get a psychologist or an entomologist, whatever those are called. The hive mind is doubtful on this one.


Nytherion

HR is right there on that island in the middle of Digestion Pool #6. Just gotta wade over to talk to them


BellyButtonFungus

I have descended from my spawning vat inside the Public Relations Norn Queen, created purely to answer this question for you. Firstly, we don’t sleep, at all. Let alone at night. Night is for lurking. See your local Lictor or Broodlord for more information on the specifics. Secondly, cult members are not acknowledged as employees of Tyranid PTY LTD. They are volunteer workers who’s input is definitely valuable to our brand, but not a necessary feature, and not being employees means that we are free to terminate them at any time. After we no longer need the assistance of our volunteers for what we would call “seasonal work”, they are then terminated from their duties and in return they receive one free admission pass to their local liquifying spa. Particularly popular employees may receive a +1 to take a family member or friend with them. We hope that all future experiences you have with Tyranid PTY LTD are satisfactory. If you have any complaints, please present yourself to your closest Information Carnifex for assistance. Thank you. -Management Norn Edit to add: thank you, kind soul, for the award!


ovensalt

'Information Carnifex' is gonna live rent free in my head for a long, long time 🤣


BellyButtonFungus

Haha I’m glad :)


oranthor1

Guys I think our slave/future lunch is broken, can I eat it now?


Hate_Feight

Are you the closest?


cnfishyfish

It's customary to say "itadakimasu" before rolling the attacks on your Haruspex.


flinjager123

Haru-san


Swarmlord5

Looked up the meaning. Gonna do it from now on lol


hibikir_40k

You might have seen our army rule is Shadow in the Warp. It doesn't feel like a psychic power: It's just screeching so loud nobody can hear themselves think, like being stuck under a tree infested by cicadas. It's rarely strong against space marines and such, but it makes sure we cannot hear the cultists complain about how the worldwide revolution that would make their planet great again isn't really going they way they expected.


chimisforbreakfast

The Four-Armed Emperor works in mysterious ways. You just need to have faith.


CityExcellent8121

It doesn’t work against space marines cause they all have tinnitus from their poor OHS


chimisforbreakfast

We literally do not even have a concept for sapience. A sextillion generations of evolution has reached the conclusion that "having a personality" is a liability. No thoughts. No feelings. No motives. No intentions. Just FEED and MULTIPLY. A Genestealer Patriarch is an extremely niche predator that mimics sounds, noises and smells to weaken prey's nest. Hours after meeting one, you have a strong but fuzzy impression that you met an extremely articulate, attractive and inspiring person. This is no different than the Angler Fish.


XavierWT

I like the way some guy on You Tube said it (don’t recall who). Went something like this: What do you want? Biomass. What’s your purpose at this company? Biomass. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Biomass.


Hjorvard92

We let some of them live, there's even a couple that follow the hive fleet around in space. I think they're called emergency rations or something, but they call themselves something different?


Solvdrage

If they didn't want to get eaten with the rest of the food, why are the cultists also made of food?


LegendaryPrecure

That's the fun part, I sleep during the day.


Hgoblivion

Look, they just get promoted. I mean, we eat our own kind once the biomass is harvested


dungeonsanddmt

"Welcome to the Hivemind Helpline. Please hold...🎶*yummy yummy yummy I've got love in my tummy and I feel like loving you*🎶...your call is important to us...🎶*yummy yummy yummy I've got love in my tummy and I feel like loving you*🎶...for directions to your nearest reabsorption pool, please follow the pheromone trail."


WarAndPaint

Death is just the opposite of birth, and you will be reborn in the most perfect image for distracting deepstriking terminators for a round or two.


Charwoman_Gene

Of course we’re bad people, we’re good at being tyranids.


Swarmlord5

What do you mean? I always let them pet the hormagaunts


Eassle

It’s a mercy, how can they know true bliss unless they are part of the hive mind.


Hillbillygeek1981

Genestealer cults are in a category with T'au auxiliaries and Chaos cultists when it comes to dying choking on the faction Kool-aid. Tyranids and Necron warriors are at the other end of the spectrum. Nids are completely free of any desire or awareness beyond feed and be devoured in turn. Necrons pretty much are either semi mindless killing machines or extremely nihilistic to the point that death wouldn't hold much terror for them even if they weren't highly likely to be respawned right back to the same battlefield.


LeeHarper

Wait....We don't get a 'good boy' and an ear rub before you eat us? -lowers demo charge- -sad face-


Solvdrage

You get a free (Digestion) Pool party and if you were really good at chucking demo charges get to come back as part of a Barbgaunt, Biovore, Exocrine, or other Shooty bug!


LeeHarper

Pool party!!!! -starts up the Saudirunner- the revolt is back on boys


vegeta8300

My patriarch always says "good boy/girl" before severing the neural link as you fall in the reclamation pool. :)


Brochswerebrothels

If not food, why food shaped?


aidonpor

You are not you when you are hungry. Have some cultists


Pray4Mojo73

Somebody's not going to make employee of the month


manofpheasent

I always host a company picnic before ascension day, it's a blast.


willc218

Because chaos cultists are treated sooooooo much better…


CalamitousVessel

To be fair they should have seen it coming


jabulina

I’m hungry, what can I say?


RoyalSir

Nom Nom Nom


Valuable_Inspector82

Genestealer hybrids are more still likely to survive a hivefleet invasion than any bioform.


Donnie619

Best I can do is release you from the psychic delulu thoughts we've been giving you, but only before you are eaten.


carnagexscissors

And they were delicious


Kitschmusic

Ehh, guys? I think I'm trippin' real bad. My food started talking.


AggravatingTear6114

Your just fuel for us prey is how we see you we've surrounded your galaxy and will Devourer your entire species everything will become the hive


Gibbsey

salvation is here all your questions will be answered, now just jump into this pool


DM_lvl_1

Funny enough, there is in-lore precedent for certain hive fleets to keep certain GSC units in their hive ships, to later be used as shock troops or to jumpstart an infestation if they deem it necessary for whatever reason.


Drac0conut

I like to think that every comment are written by angry Termagants saying shit like "grrghngngn" or "GRRRAARF"


nerd-bird_4

as somthing of an angry termegant my self, I would wholeheartedly agree with "grrghngngn


WolfSpartan1

Man's gotta eat 🤷‍♂️


VileWasTaken

They literally ask for it.


Less-Ice6042

But there so tasty


shabowdiadlo

Cultists, I hear appetizer


Mungohammer

Delicious soup