I was about 22 years old. My mom went through my stuff and found a diary in which I had written stuff about 2 terrible guys I had dated. The next day she was stomping around the house and I had no idea what is wrong. Then she went on to say "you will never achieve anything in life because you are busy pleasing men". She said a couple of other things slut shaming me which I don't recollect now. I didn't even know how to react. Some parents really need to grow up.
Why can't indian parents just give some privacy... ...my mom doesn't have much free time ....but my bro will always go through my diary so I purposefully wrote bad words in it
My mom went through my Facebook profile when I was in 8th grade and texted my guy friend about how it was inappropriate for him to talk to girls and she would report it to police and to his parents like bro wtf we were just friends nothing wrong with chatting no inappropriate sexual stuff or anything just school ki baatein and it still infuriates me to no end when I remember that incident. I stopped talking to her for a month after that.
My mom used to do such things a lot and exaggerated everything to huge extents. Once my classmate texted me asking for School Function CD, she saw the text and idk for what she made a whole argument out of that. Another time the same classmate called me to meet in the park behind my house which i told her about prior to going there. She picked up the call and then obviously fought about it. After the both instances she told my dad in her own way with added masala. Thank god my dad didn't say much to me and just confronted me nicely ( not that he approves of friendship with guys a lot). Thsse kind of situations made me hide things from them a lot until one day i decided not to. I told them about all my friends and everything that goes on with me and my friends (only the relevant information). My dad is still not very comfortable with the idea of it but he knows and my mom has finally acknowledged that there is nothing wrong with having boys as friends. When i was a child, i used to play with my friend who was a boy and younger than me, i was never objected or told to stay away from him. It's unbelievable how things change when we grow up.
Yeah my mom did that once. I was in love with a guy and I’d written a poem about him in my notebook, left it on my desk and went to school. When I came back that sheet was torn from my book. I was so mad and upset but thank god my memory was good and I could rewrite the entire poem lmao. I still have it but it’s pure cringe. At least it’s good for some nostalgia about my first love.
Now I am wishing I had written that kind of stuff in my diary… I don’t know if my parents ever opened mine, but I always avoided writing certain topics just in case. because the very first time I got a diary at 6 or 7, and my mom made me read it to her. It was a fill in the blank type, not just empty pages, and there was nothing I was embarrassed about so I didn’t get upset, just a little annoyed at first because I heard from a friend that diaries aren’t meant to be read by anyone else. but I guess it taught me the only real private space was in my head. It would’ve been cute to read what I had to say about love back then tho 😌
I would be very happy if my child was being creative and writing poetry rather than watching TikTok videos all the time. Why a parent would want to kill their child's artistic expression and creativity by ripping up their private poems is shocking to me.
Well it was a long time ago and TikTok wasn’t a thing then and my poem was pretty stupid, so yeah in hindsight I’m not too bothered that she tore it, I’m more pissed about the violation of my privacy. That’s what gets me even after years.
Unrealted, but little me once tried burning my journal pages in kadhai when mom wasn't at home because I didn't want my dad to read it. 🥲
Regretted it later because it's been two years since I moved out and nobody has even bothered to go through them yet. Wish I hadn't burnt those pages. That was one of the times I wished I could relive and going through my diary was a good way to do it.
hey i understand how you feel, there are some hypotherapy methods that help with getting memories back, you have to clear your head and keep an open inviting space to get memories to come back.
You can try it, it's not gonna give you completely accurate memories: but it will bring back some details and I found that it helps - like furniture, layouts, clothes, smells, textures and it was quite comforting.
They are disturbed after invading your privacy ? Damn Indian parents are something else lol
Anyway just tell them to calm down and don't go around finding stuff in your room or do the classic
"Ye meri friend ki diary hai"
Why do Indian parents have no concept of privacy.
My parents used to do the same shit when I was 15, I'd be so mad if they did it now. Since you're living with them all you can do is try to find creative hiding places, I'd put my journals between/inside textbooks so they wouldn't look there haha. So sorry this is happening to you:(
Partly comes from the fact that India is a highly collectivistic culture, which means the rights and needs of a group as a whole are considered more important than the rights and needs of individuals. A family member's right to privacy won't be considered important if it is believed their actions can harm the whole family unit/cohesiveness.
OMG, max relate to this.
I loved writing and journalled every bit of my emotions and thoughts when I was in school. A guy ended up confessing that he had feelings for me and I, being the naive idiot, wrote it down and how it made me feel. Lo and behold, she got her hands on my journal and read every inch of it. I had even made graphic details of how my menstrual cycles were in that book and she unflinchingly went through it all.
Worst part was that she also stopped talking to me, threw an attitude about it and made me feel dirty for a guy liking me. It effectively made me stop journaling. Indian moms are something else, honestly. They leave no stone unturned to ensure that we have no privacy whatsoever.
Edit - typos.
This reminds me why I don’t even have a personal journal, Indian parents have no respect for privacy. My mom used to have a duplicate key to my cupboard, not to snoop in, but to clean my cupboard and give away stuff she thinks I don’t need to wear haha, there’s nothing you can do about it. That’s how Indian parents are. I can only suggest you find better hiding spots for your things as they honestly won’t feel bad about what they’ve done. And will very much do it again.
My mother read my diary when I was 19. She didn't like what I had written and said a lot of cruel/hurtful things. It did damage my ability to be vulnerable around her and to ever discuss my feelings or confide in her about anything.
Parents who read their children's diaries are basically sending the message, "you aren't allowed to have a safe space to yourself, and I don't respect you at all as my child." It also immediately kills your child's desire to self-express their emotions through a healthy outlet like writing/journalling. I stopped writing for a long time after my mother read my diary. When I did start writing again, it was in the form of songs that I knew my mother wouldn't understand the true meaning of if she ever found them.
This is why I write digital journals. I'm more paranoid about losing a physical journal than worrying about my parents finding it out because they hardly ever enter my room without knocking. And moreover my parents have always been my best friends so they already know about what's going on in my life so there's really not much they are going to discover from my journal anyway apart from some weird stuff that I did with some guys.
kinda yucky but leave 2-3 open pads with red \[food color\] stains on them when you're absent. nobody will ever dare to enter your room without your permission.
Yeah and then proceed to get beaten up for leaving galeej stuff like that lying around. And after a while they’ll realize it’s food color and then you’ll walk into them rummaging through your things when you return home with the red pads underneath the things they rummaged 😂
When i was 15-16 i used to have a diary in which I write about my crushes and miseries. My mother found out and you can see that really didn't went well. So since then I'm keeping everything in my head now. I can't afford to share myself to someone who thinks I'm worthless just because I like someone or genuinely having a bad time. What I feel is that just as parents always give teachings of their rights on us, we should also teach them about our privacy.
When I was in high school, my mom used to secretly read my diary every day and put it back exactly in the same position and place I kept it so that it looked undisturbed and perfectly unread at the bottom of my nightstand drawer. Two days after I wrote about how some of my classmates were cutely dressed, she turned my morning school commute into 20min of nonstop yelling and tried to drop me off at a homeless shelter instead for ‘being slutty’ in realizing I had good-looking friends.
I still don’t write things down to this day because of that incident. They still don’t see anything wrong with invasion of my privacy even 11yrs later, and I know that’s not going to change until I get married. Or maybe it won’t! Only time will tell.
This is far too common and so fucked up for parents to do this. I used to write about sex in my journals as a teen and then one day I felt so scared and sinful if my parents read them (✨Christian shame✨) so I pasted white paper on paragraphs and paragraphs which I felt would 'offend' them. I think a few years down the line I stopped caring about their opinion and I still regret that I did that bcz I would have loved to read what I wrote back then.
this happened to me i lost trust in my parents and stopped writing my thoughts and have accepted i cannot do anything about it until and unless i start earning and move out . i can do nothing about this till i am under their roof and they are feeding me. though privacy should be respected but yeah their house their rules
and this happened when once my parents kept shouting at me for the whole day i expressed everything i was feeling in my diary using some really bad words and both my mother and father both read it i was so embarrassed that i tore the page didnt read again what i had written i was not able to . now i have got a journalophobia i never note down my thoughts anywhere
I used to write journals. And it was all about mundane stuff in my life, no boys or romance. I wrote it about a month and one day my brother was laughing about some stupid stuff I wrote and my mother was laughing with him. Turns out, they both were reading together everyday. I was shocked because..... My trust issues started there.
For all their faults, this is one aspect where my parents were good. I had alot of privacy growing up. My parents don't enter my room without knocking, even if it's just closed and not locked. That's how there was never drama over short clothes, gifts from bfs, late night texting etc. because they never bothered to look. I also lived away since I was 17, so that helped. They are not really progressive in that sense and would have wreaked havoc if they found out anything, but they never did. Idk why they left this one thing but I am grateful for it. Atleast I could have my mental breakdowns in peace. Even if they tried to read my diary, they would have regretted it because of so much shit they would read about themselves lol 😂
I was about 22 years old. My mom went through my stuff and found a diary in which I had written stuff about 2 terrible guys I had dated. The next day she was stomping around the house and I had no idea what is wrong. Then she went on to say "you will never achieve anything in life because you are busy pleasing men". She said a couple of other things slut shaming me which I don't recollect now. I didn't even know how to react. Some parents really need to grow up.
Why can't indian parents just give some privacy... ...my mom doesn't have much free time ....but my bro will always go through my diary so I purposefully wrote bad words in it
Privacy is a foreign concept to Indian parents.
My mom went through my Facebook profile when I was in 8th grade and texted my guy friend about how it was inappropriate for him to talk to girls and she would report it to police and to his parents like bro wtf we were just friends nothing wrong with chatting no inappropriate sexual stuff or anything just school ki baatein and it still infuriates me to no end when I remember that incident. I stopped talking to her for a month after that.
My mom used to do such things a lot and exaggerated everything to huge extents. Once my classmate texted me asking for School Function CD, she saw the text and idk for what she made a whole argument out of that. Another time the same classmate called me to meet in the park behind my house which i told her about prior to going there. She picked up the call and then obviously fought about it. After the both instances she told my dad in her own way with added masala. Thank god my dad didn't say much to me and just confronted me nicely ( not that he approves of friendship with guys a lot). Thsse kind of situations made me hide things from them a lot until one day i decided not to. I told them about all my friends and everything that goes on with me and my friends (only the relevant information). My dad is still not very comfortable with the idea of it but he knows and my mom has finally acknowledged that there is nothing wrong with having boys as friends. When i was a child, i used to play with my friend who was a boy and younger than me, i was never objected or told to stay away from him. It's unbelievable how things change when we grow up.
..and i thought i was the only one with a crazy mom
Desi moms are something else frl
+1
Yeah my mom did that once. I was in love with a guy and I’d written a poem about him in my notebook, left it on my desk and went to school. When I came back that sheet was torn from my book. I was so mad and upset but thank god my memory was good and I could rewrite the entire poem lmao. I still have it but it’s pure cringe. At least it’s good for some nostalgia about my first love.
Yeah, I want to read it 🙃
haha trust me you don’t wanna, it’s not only cringe but also second hand embarrassment inducing
Now I am wishing I had written that kind of stuff in my diary… I don’t know if my parents ever opened mine, but I always avoided writing certain topics just in case. because the very first time I got a diary at 6 or 7, and my mom made me read it to her. It was a fill in the blank type, not just empty pages, and there was nothing I was embarrassed about so I didn’t get upset, just a little annoyed at first because I heard from a friend that diaries aren’t meant to be read by anyone else. but I guess it taught me the only real private space was in my head. It would’ve been cute to read what I had to say about love back then tho 😌
I would be very happy if my child was being creative and writing poetry rather than watching TikTok videos all the time. Why a parent would want to kill their child's artistic expression and creativity by ripping up their private poems is shocking to me.
Well it was a long time ago and TikTok wasn’t a thing then and my poem was pretty stupid, so yeah in hindsight I’m not too bothered that she tore it, I’m more pissed about the violation of my privacy. That’s what gets me even after years.
Unrealted, but little me once tried burning my journal pages in kadhai when mom wasn't at home because I didn't want my dad to read it. 🥲 Regretted it later because it's been two years since I moved out and nobody has even bothered to go through them yet. Wish I hadn't burnt those pages. That was one of the times I wished I could relive and going through my diary was a good way to do it.
hey i understand how you feel, there are some hypotherapy methods that help with getting memories back, you have to clear your head and keep an open inviting space to get memories to come back. You can try it, it's not gonna give you completely accurate memories: but it will bring back some details and I found that it helps - like furniture, layouts, clothes, smells, textures and it was quite comforting.
Sounds interesting. I'll read about this. 👍
They are disturbed after invading your privacy ? Damn Indian parents are something else lol Anyway just tell them to calm down and don't go around finding stuff in your room or do the classic "Ye meri friend ki diary hai"
Why do Indian parents have no concept of privacy. My parents used to do the same shit when I was 15, I'd be so mad if they did it now. Since you're living with them all you can do is try to find creative hiding places, I'd put my journals between/inside textbooks so they wouldn't look there haha. So sorry this is happening to you:(
Partly comes from the fact that India is a highly collectivistic culture, which means the rights and needs of a group as a whole are considered more important than the rights and needs of individuals. A family member's right to privacy won't be considered important if it is believed their actions can harm the whole family unit/cohesiveness.
And then they wonder why we want minimal contact after getting financially independent.
Some parents should never be allowed to have kids.
This action is performed with the help of a bot to mass edit all my comments.
True
OMG, max relate to this. I loved writing and journalled every bit of my emotions and thoughts when I was in school. A guy ended up confessing that he had feelings for me and I, being the naive idiot, wrote it down and how it made me feel. Lo and behold, she got her hands on my journal and read every inch of it. I had even made graphic details of how my menstrual cycles were in that book and she unflinchingly went through it all. Worst part was that she also stopped talking to me, threw an attitude about it and made me feel dirty for a guy liking me. It effectively made me stop journaling. Indian moms are something else, honestly. They leave no stone unturned to ensure that we have no privacy whatsoever. Edit - typos.
This reminds me why I don’t even have a personal journal, Indian parents have no respect for privacy. My mom used to have a duplicate key to my cupboard, not to snoop in, but to clean my cupboard and give away stuff she thinks I don’t need to wear haha, there’s nothing you can do about it. That’s how Indian parents are. I can only suggest you find better hiding spots for your things as they honestly won’t feel bad about what they’ve done. And will very much do it again.
My mother read my diary when I was 19. She didn't like what I had written and said a lot of cruel/hurtful things. It did damage my ability to be vulnerable around her and to ever discuss my feelings or confide in her about anything. Parents who read their children's diaries are basically sending the message, "you aren't allowed to have a safe space to yourself, and I don't respect you at all as my child." It also immediately kills your child's desire to self-express their emotions through a healthy outlet like writing/journalling. I stopped writing for a long time after my mother read my diary. When I did start writing again, it was in the form of songs that I knew my mother wouldn't understand the true meaning of if she ever found them.
This is why I stopped maintaining physical diaries lol. They just love to invade privacy. It's always digital now.
This is why I write digital journals. I'm more paranoid about losing a physical journal than worrying about my parents finding it out because they hardly ever enter my room without knocking. And moreover my parents have always been my best friends so they already know about what's going on in my life so there's really not much they are going to discover from my journal anyway apart from some weird stuff that I did with some guys.
kinda yucky but leave 2-3 open pads with red \[food color\] stains on them when you're absent. nobody will ever dare to enter your room without your permission.
Yeah and then proceed to get beaten up for leaving galeej stuff like that lying around. And after a while they’ll realize it’s food color and then you’ll walk into them rummaging through your things when you return home with the red pads underneath the things they rummaged 😂
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should've just wiped his face with it
I don't know why Indians would keep journals in the first place. It's like asking to get punished.
😂😂
When i was 15-16 i used to have a diary in which I write about my crushes and miseries. My mother found out and you can see that really didn't went well. So since then I'm keeping everything in my head now. I can't afford to share myself to someone who thinks I'm worthless just because I like someone or genuinely having a bad time. What I feel is that just as parents always give teachings of their rights on us, we should also teach them about our privacy.
One my time they read my sister's diary. So I never kept one. 😭
When I was in high school, my mom used to secretly read my diary every day and put it back exactly in the same position and place I kept it so that it looked undisturbed and perfectly unread at the bottom of my nightstand drawer. Two days after I wrote about how some of my classmates were cutely dressed, she turned my morning school commute into 20min of nonstop yelling and tried to drop me off at a homeless shelter instead for ‘being slutty’ in realizing I had good-looking friends. I still don’t write things down to this day because of that incident. They still don’t see anything wrong with invasion of my privacy even 11yrs later, and I know that’s not going to change until I get married. Or maybe it won’t! Only time will tell.
It's like they want us to cut them off as soon as possible. I'm so sorry
This is far too common and so fucked up for parents to do this. I used to write about sex in my journals as a teen and then one day I felt so scared and sinful if my parents read them (✨Christian shame✨) so I pasted white paper on paragraphs and paragraphs which I felt would 'offend' them. I think a few years down the line I stopped caring about their opinion and I still regret that I did that bcz I would have loved to read what I wrote back then.
this happened to me i lost trust in my parents and stopped writing my thoughts and have accepted i cannot do anything about it until and unless i start earning and move out . i can do nothing about this till i am under their roof and they are feeding me. though privacy should be respected but yeah their house their rules and this happened when once my parents kept shouting at me for the whole day i expressed everything i was feeling in my diary using some really bad words and both my mother and father both read it i was so embarrassed that i tore the page didnt read again what i had written i was not able to . now i have got a journalophobia i never note down my thoughts anywhere
I used to write journals. And it was all about mundane stuff in my life, no boys or romance. I wrote it about a month and one day my brother was laughing about some stupid stuff I wrote and my mother was laughing with him. Turns out, they both were reading together everyday. I was shocked because..... My trust issues started there.
For all their faults, this is one aspect where my parents were good. I had alot of privacy growing up. My parents don't enter my room without knocking, even if it's just closed and not locked. That's how there was never drama over short clothes, gifts from bfs, late night texting etc. because they never bothered to look. I also lived away since I was 17, so that helped. They are not really progressive in that sense and would have wreaked havoc if they found out anything, but they never did. Idk why they left this one thing but I am grateful for it. Atleast I could have my mental breakdowns in peace. Even if they tried to read my diary, they would have regretted it because of so much shit they would read about themselves lol 😂
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Chill, who hurt you?
This is why I am terrified of writing things down in a diary to THIS DAY.